April Fools in Bonoboville

Full transcript of April Fools in Bonoboville on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

You need to talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else? You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves, but my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy over the phone.

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Brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, artists and exhibitionists, voyeurs and connoisseurs, April Fools and Bonobo Babes. All you children of sex, and we are all children of sex, we may or may not be children of God, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Brahma, or the great Joker in the sky, but one thing we know until we start cloning ourselves, we are all children of sex

with a capital X. Can I hear an amen? Amen. Can I hear an A, women? Yes indeed, brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, Trump has decided to quit the presidency, go bankrupt, start a new TV channel, and leave the White House to Mike Pence and his Christian Swinger Dominatrix wife. Oh my God. Oh no. Is it really gone? April Fools. Oh my, I fell for it.

You tricksters have been getting me all day, and I don't appreciate it. It does sound plausible, right? It could be. What could happen? It could be. It isn't our dreams and fantasies. I don't think it's in anyone's nightmares at this point, even Trump supporters. But yeah, the fact is, I mean, maybe it's an alternative fact, it's hard to say,

but it seems like he's still there in the White House, although he's very sick. And very bad. He's very bad, and he also, of course, is the biggest April fool, but I think the joke's on us. It's jokes on America. Oh my God.

But he's still sick from his big Trumpcare fail. Yes, Trumpcare is all you get. You don't even get Obamacare until you do single payer. That's right. But he's getting very sick. Don't you think? I mean, that deep, rich mango color turned sort of to this golden shower gold that then is now seemingly turning to this pale yellow.

Didn't it look kind of pale yellow when he was in that executive order signing ceremony? I was actually thinking he looked like he got plugs, that he, like, actually, it wasn't so comradery, but he just looked so hunched and sickly. Sickly. Looked very, very canary yellow, the canary and the coma.

And he's, well, there he's actually signing an executive order. But the thing is with the executive order, that he went to this executive order signing ceremony, and then he just kind of leaves without signing the executive order. And we're all trying to figure out, did he do that on purpose, or did he just get?

No, I think that was definitely on purpose. Mack showed me this morning, and I think... One of the reporters asked him, what about Flynn? He's going to rat on you. Right. He seemed to be leaving before that happened. But in any case, he left, and then, you know, it was very funny,

very April fools, to watch Mike Pence struggling to get the papers together and going, okay, okay, like a little clown going into the clown car. Yeah, but the big clown. Where's our big clown? Big clown. Come on, big clown.

Come on, big clown in the back. There we go, big clown. Yeah, the big clown there. So scary. Okay, well, you know, it's true. Jokers are scary. Jokers are scary.

Jokers are really frightening. Well, you know, they can be that guy who killed a bunch of people, he dressed up like the Joker, and of course the Joker himself was a very scary character for Batman and everybody.

And I mean, you know, one of the things that really bugs me about Trump is that he ruins April Fool's Day. Because, I mean, who can parody what is already so foolish? It's very hard to parody these tweets, in fact, to figure out,

is he doing an April Fool's joke there, or is he just doing a regular tweet? Because his tweets are, you know, oh, the failing New York Times. He's like, he's parodying himself. What was it, the failing New York Times?

As fake news, we should change libel laws, Max. He's going to change, he wants to change the libel law. Hey listen, is that an April Fool's joke? That's not an April Fool's joke, and it's a very personal thing for me

because I was arrested for criminal libel back in the 70s, and we overturned criminal libel in California, which overturned it pretty much all over the country. So this is very important for sex and politics publishing.

Very important for sex and politics. And parody publishing, parody. And presentations of parodies. The law in California was only used twice.

It was used against Confidential Magazine, if you're old enough to remember. And that was a big corporate magazine, and us, we are a little hippie magazine. The big corporate magazine went out of business fighting. We just moved from place to place.

Yay! Good for you. Fool on you. But, it's hard to tell the difference.

I mean, I guess all of his tweets are serious, but he praised the news reporting of John Layfield, whose Twitter profile credits him primarily as the longest reigning WWE champ in SmackDown TV history.

Well there you go. Every guy is like, there you go. See, I knew he was right. That's so, oh my gosh.

This is the president. Agreed. But he is unprecedented, and he's the one that made that joke, undeliberately, you know, many months ago.

But anyway, yeah, our Trump is sick Trump, and he's now dunce Trump. And actually, Clemmie made this hat, right? Clemmie, it is so KKK.

Well, she comes up to my room as I'm getting ready and knocks on the door and she's like, you know, I have to write dunce on the actual dunce hat because it just looks like he's KKK

and I'm like, is that a problem? Are we having an issue? KKK or dunces, I guess, you could say. Oh my God, that's such a good picture.

Certainly his hair fits into the cap very well. Oh my God. And his head, the way he thinks, I guess, fits in to this kind of thing.

So, yeah, I mean, we're dealing with the big April Fool in the White House today on April Fool's Day Night in Bonoboville. So, you know, some fools should be rewarded

for entertaining us, and some fools should be punished for scaring us and hurting us and deporting us and taking away our rights and being very funny about it too so that it's distracting us from the fact that it's really hurting us.

Laughing all the time as our rights go trotting away. That's really, really worthy of punishment. So, we have tonight a very lovely dominatrix to administer both rewards and punishments.

And please put your hands together for a very warm welcome for Mistress Erica. Yes. Mistress Erica.

Mistress Erica, come on up here. Yes. Look at, oh, but before you do, why don't you just show off this outfit. And somehow the black and white theme is in tonight.

She had a psychic feeling. We all felt it. Well, I broke it. It's something foolish about black and white, I think.

It's hitting both sides of the bone. A clowny thing, yeah. But that is, wow. And look at the way she handles that microphone between her legs.

I think she's ready for it. It's in a row. It's in the cheap seats and just listening. You really should watch, right?

I guess we showed that on Facebook. I guess that's okay. Yeah, no, microphones between the legs are okay. Microphones between the legs are okay.

Nipples are not. Nipples are not. They're not an actual penises between the legs. Not no penises between the legs.

But sort of medical instruments inside of a mouth like a dildo. That's okay. He's lucky for that. He is, except this has been inside of a pee-pee hole.

Not going to say who's. But you know, Trump's mouth is kind of like a pee-pee hole. I so agree. No offense to pee-pee holes.

Microphone. Oh, it is on. Okay, let's try this one. That one's better.

I just wanted to stretch. Welcome back to Bonoboville, mistress Erica. Thank you. Happy April Fool's Day.

Happy April Fool's Day. So we had you here in Bonoboville for Thanksgiving. That's correct. That was fun.

You know, you spanked a bunch of people. Yeah. Yeah, did you have fun? I had a blast.

Yeah, you're back. And I'm back. You are. And so have you had many adventures?

She has to put on her headset. There you go. She likes to just put that mic between her legs. Yeah, I did.

That was a thing. I can't help myself tonight. Since I was last year, a lot has happened. Yeah.

I've ended up co-hosting triple X porn star radio on the Saturday evening slot. Wow, triple X porn star radio. Does that mean you interview triple X porn stars

or they do porn on the radio? Is it like radio sex? You know, it can be a combination of both. You know, we interview various porn stars, performers,

wherever they're at in their career. And two weeks ago, I had Mike Horner. And I had known him for, you know, a couple of years. So to score an interview like that and, you know,

a time AVN winner and 13 time nomination. Great. And that week we were having a really good conversation about piracy, which is such a big problem in the industry.

And so I kind of started the interview off like that. We were, you know, kind of leading into that. And it really... People stealing other people's material?

Yeah, that's why there's so many tube sites and so many people, they pay for their... They don't pay for their porn, you know? I mean, and so many performers are struggling right now.

Yeah. I don't know how we're going to stop that. That's probably a Bannon company that's operating out of Luxembourg.

Bannon, right. That actually owns all those porn tubes. Yeah, that's what he was talking about. That's correct, right.

Did you say like Bannon, like Steve Bannon? I said it's probably a Steve Bannon company. Yeah, right. I like to think that's what it is.

We're expecting him tonight. That's right. Ivanka Drump. Yeah.

We have a few special guests. And Howard Sperm should be here. Howard Sperm. That's Sperm.

And Kim Cartrashi. Yeah. And Howard Johnson. I'll take communion off her ass.

But they're all late. And Warren Buffett. Well, I hope he sings a song. Warren Buffett.

One is ukulele. Buffett. Warren. Oh, you can eat buffet.

Warren Buffett. Which is important because we have to make America eat again because with Trump's budget, we're all going to be starving except for people like Buffett and Drump.

I can't wait until they take away the food stamps from all those Trumpers. You know, I feel sorry for them. I did too.

Aww. Aww. It's a classic. Aww.

Was that made in China? You know, I think it is. I think we saw that it is made in China. It's not here.

I'm not psychic. I've said a lot of guys. Like the box said that, right? But, you know, we're kind of working on it.

We're working on Trump, as you can see. As we work on many of our sex therapy clients, I'm not saying if Trump is a sex therapy client. But we figured before you could make America great again,

Drump, you got to make America eat again and make sure that those kids get their school lunches and old people get their meals on wheels and basic stuff like that

before you get all your fancy missiles that you like as much as Mr. Erica likes her microphone. Oh. Yes.

You go. I go. And I will now introduce my other guest who is my comic guest, I guess.

We have decided he gets rewarded. I hope he's funny. Well, you know, that's a big thing that we're going to decide. Come on up here.

This is Mark Hoadley, brothers and sisters. Oh. Happy April Fool's Day. That's a whoopee cushion.

That's a fake whoopee cushion. Alternative. A hand. Whoopee.

And so welcome to Bonoboville. Well, thank you. It's a pleasure being here. Right?

You're a comedian. I am. That's your profession. That is one of them.

One of them. What's the other one? I'm a film producer. I'm an actor.

I'm a writer. Which one pays the bills? Well, you know, they all kind of pay the bills. But I got to take a little from here, a little from there.

And help America to make America eat again. Yeah. I'm like a good Jamaican with 17 jobs. Okay.

So one of your jobs is that you're a comedian. And so what do you feel is the best thing to do? Like I'm always nervous on April Fool's Day that somebody's going to play like one of those horrible practical jokes on.

Right? Yeah, I hear you. You know, the thing about April Fool's Day is I could always sit coming a mile away or someone turns to play one of those jokes.

March 31st. Oh, come on. You know, it's like, you're not going to fool me. Don't try it.

You know, how you'll fool me as you tell me is you're going to book me in some place and I show up there and I find out I'm not booked. See, that's one of those terrible April Fool's jokes that deserves a spanking. Actually, Obama, actually, Trump is booking a lot of people.

I heard that. So I got an eye out for him. All right. So you're going to be careful.

You'll end up on the other side of the wall. Oh, my. Booking them into what? America's biggest growth industry?

Prison. Elch. Right? It is.

Okay. So, you know, we're all April Fool's. I've got my little gesture thing going on here. And really, we're fools for love.

We are. Aren't we all? Right? I know I am.

I don't know. Are we all? Are you? Is he fool for love?

Absolutely. I can be. I've been fooled in love before. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. You know, there's a song that says fool's rush in where wise men never go. Fear to tread. What is the name of that song?

Yeah, right. Fool's rush in where wise men fear to tread. Oh, that's it. That's not the name of the song.

It's a line for the song. But it's sort of implying that fools are, you know, kind of brave. I'm a fool. Brave and adventurous.

Sage words. Right. Right. But wise men don't go there.

Wise men stay single? Why? I mean, or just, you know. I'm single?

Married to keep, you know, the family legacy going. Like, this drunk, maybe? I don't know. I don't know.

So, okay, so you've been fooled in love. Are you married or are you single? No, I am divorced. You were fooled in love.

I lost my wife and my house. All at the same time. Yeah, well, you know, it's kind of my choice. So are you a fool for love?

Is that why you became a dominatrix? I think I have been at one time or another. Yeah, you have been a fool for love. Or have you been the one to fool and get the house?

A little bit of both. Different times. I win sometimes. I lose sometimes.

Yeah. I guess that's true of us all. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. It's a way of life.

You know, so. But you have a way of getting back at people that... I do. You know, and that is your...

Did you bring any of your instruments of torture? I did. You did? Where are they? They're right over here.

Oh, they're over here. Should have been Australia. I would just see what you brought to torture us with. Okay, I'm going to bring them back.

Wow, I'm on edge of my seat. I got these bull leather fluggers. Are you into BDSM? Well, I could be.

It's April Fool's Day and he's a fool for love. So maybe he might be a fool for pain. Yeah, look at you over there. Who knows?

Don't knock it until you try it. I have here a riding crop. Riding crop, yeah. Have you ever been smacked with a riding crop?

No, never. You know, not ever. You ever been dodged? You know, here's the thing.

And I used to have 13 horses. 13 horses? Yeah. Okay.

I lived on a farm in Ohio, but never. You were beating the wrong thing. You beat the horse? No.

Never even had one of those. Okay. I was going to say. Oh, my.

Quick pro pro. Right. Well, you thought of it, but when we produced this look at this beautiful instrument. Wow.

Torture. See, it's this that really stings. She just giggles. This is a real whip.

I guess she knows she's turning red. Yeah. Yeah. Like your shirt.

I guess you wore the shirt to make it seems that you weren't turning red. It's a mask every time. Right. I'm not a fool.

I didn't raise dummy. Right. But you are a fool for love. Yes.

Yes. Fool for love. You know, by the way, shout out to Sam Shepard, who wrote a very serious play called Fool for Love that was an excellent play.

And it's about two people that were passionately in love with each other and in this hotel room and kind of fighting back and forth. And then it turned out they were brother and sister. Holy moly.

They had the same father. But they met, not knowing, and they fell in love. And then they found out. What happened after they found out?

Yeah. Well, all kinds of horrible things. Did they come together though? Well done.

I want to know. You got to see the play. Fine, I'll wait. So they say, huh?

Incest is best. Is that what you believe? Or that's just something you heard. This is what they say.

I learned that at the Dominatrix school. Oh, okay. Okay. Personal experience, any?

Role play. Role play. Role play. Do you role play dummy mommy or sister with a whip?

You know, I think it's been a little bit of everything at one time or another. Uh-huh. Okay. Well, all the cousins, the whole familia.

Keep it in the family. Keep it in the family. That's what they say, right? Keep it in the family.

Is this out of your... Oh, no. Is that any jokes with respect to incest? I haven't developed any in that subject.

It's usually in my audience. Right. It says, you have to know your audience. Right, you have to know the audience.

I know mine, which is one reason I brought the subject up. I mean, you know, it's a common fantasy. Hey, Freud was not, like, just, you know, shooting out his ass like somebody here. He meant it.

And, you know, a lot of guys have this edifice complex where they're kind of stuck on their mom. A lot of girls have a daddy complex. Why do we think this guy got elected by some women?

Some women voted for the big dunce with the KKK hat on his head because he resembled their abusive daddies. Absolutely. You know, this is a daddy issue.

He also keeps it in the family. Oh, yeah. What kind of family are you working with? Ivanka.

Ivanka is just down the hallway. Ivanka is very close by. You know, there's something about that. I mean, come on, folks.

This is a very close daddy-daughter relationship that... He did say he could see himself being with Ivanka if she was not his daughter. But that last part, I think I'd cancel out. Yeah.

Well, if she was not. You're right. But he did say that, and he does have her in the White House. Wait, did he really say that?

He said it years ago, but he did, yeah. What the fuck? Can I say fuck? Oh, my God.

That's okay. Okay. I don't remember hearing that. That's horrible.

Yeah, we're not getting this just from the fact that there are pictures of him squeezing her ass. No, but that's what I'm saying. That's all I have.

All I have is the visual alternative facts, but now that I hear... I'm like, oh, my gosh. Now, by the way, this is our fantasy Trump here. Of course, we have something stuffed in his mouth so that he can't speak.

He's under gag order in Bonoboville. And he's getting health care. And he's surrounded by pussies, you notice. He has a special nurse taking care of him.

He's surrounded by pussies that he can't grab. Right. Because he has no hands. Reading the Bonobo way.

We took his hands away. And he is being forced to read the Bonobo way. We cut off his hands. Yes.

Yes. We did. We're a little sadistic. We are.

You know, you have to be with him. Well, I guess. I like to think so a little bit. Just a little bit.

You like to think so. I do. You know, I think that, you know, as a nurse, he deserves to get what he has come in with his health care. He treats people so horribly that maybe he deserves to be a little sick and crumbly himself.

Isn't he? Yeah. If you saw him when he walked out of that, he was like kind of huffing and puffing. He does look a little over-punchy.

He's all exhausted. Yeah. And, yeah. And I'm telling you that the hair is going from mango to golden shower gold.

I agree that it's washed out. It's very washed out. It's now looking kind of gray-yellow. Like, yeah, this silver-yellow thing going on.

So there is some hope. There it is. I pray on it every day. Yeah.

And I agree with you. It's looking lighter, like a lot lighter. And so we still have a mill. So here we are in Bonoboville, right in Bonoboville.

But, you know, we're moving along. And, hey, last week we had the penthouse pets, right? And Layla Sin and Christiana Sin. And they signed our penthouse magazines and a lot more.

They did a lot more. Right. They did a lot more. They did stuff.

They did some stuff. They did some stuff. They got very naked. And they did some, you know, a lot of...

There's a lot of liqueur. Liquor-y, ass-liquor-y. Damn. Yeah.

No, it's good. You guys missed out. Yeah. I did miss out.

I hear that. You can go to Bonoboville and watch it. You know, bonoboville.com. No, actually, right now in Bonoboville, you're watching us.

Oh. Well, right now, yes. But you could go to Dr. Susan Block.tv. Yes.

And click on the penthouse pets, and there you are. And then we are. And watch that liqueur-y. Watch that liqueur-y.

Nothing like being there in person. Oh, my God. Oh, they were wonderful. They have such soft tongues.

Oh, my goodness. And they smell so good. I wish it was scratch-ins. It took a really...

There's not a page in there. I wish. I wish. And they loved you, Dr. Susan.

Oh, well, but I... Yeah. I don't know. They loved you.

They loved you. They were told to, but I don't care. I don't care. I mean, you have penthouse pets like, you know, making you the meat in there, sandwich.

You don't care what their motivation is. They wanted to. There was no forcing in that department. That's for sure.

They also liked you a lot. They were all over you. I've always been a penthouse pet. You could be.

You know, I like being above a Nobleville pet. I think I'm just making a good but Nobleville pet. You do. And Dr. Susan's pet.

I concur. I concur. Let's hear it for Gypsy Bonobo. Yay.

And... Thanks, guys. Let's see. So...

And her new selfie book. Oh, yeah. We shouldn't have a new selfie book. We're getting there.

We're getting there. I mean, I'm just putting together. We're going a little while. And you go, wow.

They're all over the place and they're naughty and they're fun. And every girl should know how to take cute photos. If not for yourself, but for the dudes you want. So...

Thank you. Right? I think that, you know, it's for both worlds. It's for both ends.

And I like making everybody happy. Both ends. Both ends. And speaking of all of her ends, including the end that speaks,

she is also one of our most popular therapists in the Dr. Sousa Block Institute. Dr. Sousa is the most popular. But I learned from her, so you should talk to me

and then talk to her, too. So it's great. We're all talking through each other. We're all talking to each other.

We help the fools for love. And that includes, you know, people who voted for Trump. You know, and like Dr. Sousa says, we encourage them all. We love you all to talk to and to teach you

and to hopefully maybe stick a strap on in your mouth. I don't know what I get to do. Deplorable thing, you. Yeah.

See now, you're a deplorable. Or make medical play all over you. Medical play. So April 1st, April Fool's Day is a special day

in Bonoboville, partly because it's Johnny Jungle's birthday. It's your birthday. Johnny.

Johnny. Johnny. Come up here. Come on.

This is Johnny Jungle. And here he is. The birthday boy. Johnny Jungle.

And he's ready. I've already started my jungle experience with him tonight. Are you going to get in your birthday suit? No.

Well. I'll get in some of my birthday suit. You know. I see you cut your hair.

I did. Yeah. Oh. And do we want to give a shout out to the hairdresser?

Yeah. Mark Brown. Mark Brown is the finest hairdresser. It's taken five years off my life in a good way.

There we go. So good thing to do at your birthday. Get yourself a haircut. Watch out, buddy.

I got some. I got some. All right. Okay.

So we have a little bit of dueling, comedian thing going on here. And it is April 1st, which is Johnny's birthday. And speaking of your birthday, Johnny,

I feel so bad because, you know, we got some things addressed to your other name, which I won't mention, but I forgot that that was your name.

Right. And so we told them to return to sender. No, he didn't. Yeah, we did.

You're lying. I almost got me with you. April Fools. That was pretty good though.

Oh. Oh. Johnny got all kinds of love. Yeah.

Yeah. There he is. Out in nature. In the ball game.

Indian Wells. It's tennis match. Just want to shout out to Roger Federer, who's going back to the top in tennis.

All right. Yeah. I always get the same reaction. Nobody gives a shit about tennis.

Nobody gives a shit about tennis by me. All right. Do you give a shit about tennis? No.

No. But she likes to smack those balls. You look like a sports announcer, actually. Really?

You know what? I've been called everything. So that's just pretty damn bad though. Do you like to have your balls smacked?

Well, I mean, somebody say ball smacking? She's got her eyes on you and your balls right now. Right. Well, you know what happens on birthdays?

Sometimes. You know what happens to bad communities? Your birthdays. Sometimes.

Sometimes. I don't know. It might have to be a comedian like, you know. Yeah.

You know, last comedian kneeling. Betting over. Yeah, exactly. Okay.

So do you have anything funny to say? What are you talking about? Where you been, Dr. Susan? Where you been?

Actually, I really enjoyed hearing you do your spoken word poem that you did for me the other day. Yeah. So I'm hoping you, yeah, we have time. Oh, good.

You know, do you want to do that? I mean, that's sort of funny. I mean, it's, but it's meaningful. It's meaningful.

This is my birthday. You know, I feel like I want to do something more than just entertain. I want to make people, you know, think. Deeply.

Deeply about life. Because really, right? Like you're, you're, we're all close to a new year, right? And also our birthdays, we all have one.

And I think it's a really good time to just take a little inventory and see, you know, what you want to do in this next year of life. So that's what I've been doing today. All right.

So we're going to judge this. It's a poem of reflecting. It's a poem of reflecting. I'm going to have to stand up for this.

Oh, you guys found some. You dug deep for those pictures. That was from kindergarten. Harry Sapien is one of the producers as is Delray.

So it's all their fault. I'm going to start with a little bit of a new one. I don't think you've heard this one. Okay.

All right. And this is a, I know any shout out to New York City. Anybody from New York City or lived in New York City. All right.

I heard someone know one person. All right. Funny guy. All right.

So I used to live there. And when I, you know, whenever you make a new move in life, it's, it's cool to make a little rhyme. So if you haven't done that yet and here's this one.

Watch what's over your shoulder. Oh, hello. All right. Liquid.

I was going to say liquid courage, but floppy courage. All right. Here we go. A new sheet, a new beat, a new city to Rome.

Got all the accommodations without no trepidations, feeling free, feeling cheap. Without no expectations coming alive, catching a vibe soaring to new elevations,

walking around here in the sounds, grooving to the action, stopping to see Greek mythology on top of old Grand Central Station at the park with my pad,

grabbing some brand new sensations. If I stay, I might have praise for some new realizations because you see my will be a path of uncertainty because I choose to choose

and not live through my TV. So be my friend and let's end this crazy desperation starting a new map and a view of a whole new creation. You and me, we can be unlimited potentiality.

So move your feet, grab the beat and breathe in a new reality. Duh-nah-duh. Breathe in a new reality.

Duh-nah-duh. Breathe in a new reality. Duh-nah-duh. Breathe in a new reality.

All right. Yeah. Yeah. And when it had breathing in and out,

becomes too much, give us a call at 2-1-3-2-9-1-9-4-9-7. I don't know about these white guys rapping. Right, huh? Yeah.

White rap. It was spoken word. It was spoken word. I don't call it rapping.

It's not exactly rap. That's like a thing called spoken word, except maybe, I mean, after all, it is his birthday.

Does he deserve his banking? Well, we got to check this guy out first. We got to see what he's got. I don't know.

It's not his birthday. I mean, I thought you were... Wait, wait, wait. And there's a big-ass whip over there.

I saw it through. I was like, oh, I think, hopefully, the mistress brought something else. Oh, okay.

What's a prayer? I don't know. I think we need to find out from the audience whether I deserve it,

because I happen to think I was pretty successful. I like to think that, regardless of your success and your rap, which was... It was very adorable and cute,

but you will get your spankings. It is your birthday, and that is why no American tradition that you're going to have to at least pull down your pants.

You can keep your underwear, but you've got to take a beating. Whoa. A beating.

Well, you know what? Chipsy. Talk about taking a beating. I've seen you take yours, so... Yes, exactly.

I don't know where Harry Bonobo is or Max. I'd like to see Max take a beating. It's not his birthday. It's not his birthday.

It's your birthday. And way too delicate. No, we want to see your butt, Max. We do.

The world deserves... He actually has a really nice butt. The world deserves to see your butt. He does have a really nice butt.

You know something I've got to tell you something. I was the first centerfold before Play... Play... What was it?

Playgirl. Playgirl. You were? And then...

What's his name? Burt Reynolds. Burt Reynolds. He did it six months later.

Yeah, he did it six months later. I did it in the LA Star, which was L.A.'s... I published it.

It was L.A.'s largest underground newspaper at the time. And Burt Reynolds... I don't know who it's on that wall. Oh, you look so handsome.

And Burt Reynolds is so hairy that he practically didn't look naked. That's right. And you could actually see my penis.

Yes. His was cancelled out. Right, his was like covered up with his hands so you could tell how small it is

because his hands... And it was just hair going around. Right, and all that hair. Yeah, and all that hair.

I mean, it's very bonobo and everything, and I love it for that reason, but he barely looked naked, so I don't know. But, yeah, yeah, Max has a great butt,

but you know what, this show is not that long. And we have special guests. Next week, actually, Max and I will be the stars of the show

because it's going to be our 25th wedding anniversary. Awesome. And that's why I have silver things around. I'm exploring the silver things.

All right, we have a... I have a silver dick. A gift we're registered at Macy's? Yes, we're...

Are they still in business at Macy's? They are. Right, okay, cool. Macy's we're feeling for ever.

Tiffany's. They're always there. How about Tiffany's? Oh, Tiffany's.

Oh, yeah, I don't know. Says every guy ever. Oh, Tiffany's about that. Max really wants to be registered at Home Depot.

Right, that's it. Home Depot. Home Depot. That's it.

Yeah. Well, though, we got rid of the guy that started it, who's a fucking right-wing asshole. Excuse me.

All right. Eat more chicken. Oh, that's right. So, we're all very funny and everything,

but we got to have some spanking. All right. Went in Bonoboville. Right, you got to...

We need a spanking. I agree. Well, wait a minute. Why don't you let Mark do his routine,

and then we spanko? No, my God. We have time. Maybe.

Always do it the other way around. Whatever you're like. Do you have a routine? Well, I mean, mine is stories,

and they're minutes long. Minutes. Yeah, so if you want to do spanking, maybe get that all the way, and I'll tell you.

But what story? A sense of a little nervousness. How about a full... I'll tell you a story.

A full for love story. Well... Or anything. How about I tell you a story of what happened

to me on a plane flight? On a plane flight. All right, yeah. We've all been on plane flights.

We can relate to this. Well, maybe I should shy away from this. Look, there are only jokes, but there's truth to these jokes.

Right. Well, that's what makes them. All right. Well, here's the deal.

I took us a short flight, and I had a layover on this short flight. And I don't know if you're aware, but they still fly these twin engine little plot planes.

Okay? So we're in line. We're going down the corridor, and I'm standing behind, let's say,

nothing like any lady in here, but this large woman. And as they're going down, they're asking the weight of each individual

so they can make sure that everything's proportionate on the plane. So they ask her, she's boarding.

Okay, ma'am. What is your weight? And then her beautiful southern accent. Oh, yeah.

She says, well, I'm 130 pounds. Oh, really? Now I'm standing behind her

and I'm looking and I'm thinking, oh, shit, in your dreams. Three times. Yeah.

As much as that. Yeah, so I go up and they ask, okay, sir, how much do you weigh? Now I've got to add another damn 100 pounds

to my weight to make sure that this plane, this left wing doesn't fall out of the damn sky. It's like, you know, I'm thinking ladies. It's your civic duty.

It is. I had to do that. Security. So I'm thinking,

well, if you're going to fib about your weight, lots of people do that. But save it for your dating profiles. Right.

Not on an airplane. No. No. Okay.

Boom, boom. Okay. I think that could get us banking. But yeah.

Yeah, yeah. That was really laughable. But it's true. And that's the sad thing about it.

No, no, I hear the truth in there. I do. I do. I always wonder, you know,

why the big people don't have to pay anyway. I don't want to say it because don't say that. It's very politically incorrect.

They'll be picketing up their life in front of it. I guess I do because I'm, you know, I've got a politician in bed. Oh, that guy.

The airports make everybody frustrated. In one way or another. In one way or another. And they're unfair in many ways.

Yeah. In many ways. So I think we have ample reasons to actually punish any of our guests.

Really. I mean, we could reward them also, which maybe we'll do in the second half. You should punish him for his laughable jokes.

No. Right. Hey, we're all glutton for punishment in some way. Right.

Absolutely. That was a confession, Mark. And by the way, I want to give a shout out to Joe Williamson for arranging for Mark and his ass to be here.

Joe, great guy. Thanks, great guy. Thanks so much, Joe. It was laughable.

He arranged for my ass to be here. Yeah. That's right. And they tell you what,

this was what the Howard Stern show on what? On steroids. On steroids. Yes.

All right. Howard sperm, Howard sperm. Yes, that's the guest. That's a guest.

Tonight. Howard sperm. Howard sperm. Yes.

He flaked out. You know, a lot of these people are flakes. Hollywood. They're scared.

They're scared. You guys, you guys are courageous. We appreciate that. Is that what we are?

Well, we're working. I think she knows something we don't at this point. We're working, but we show up. Yeah.

Okay. And not like you guys up there. But isn't this the dominatrix of your dreams? Brothers and sisters, let's give a hand to Mistress.

She's a little too happy and excited. She just loves her. You want a miserable dominatrix? I know.

I love it. Because sometimes, you know, I've seen, you know, they're angry. Actually, I just want to have a little moment. She's a sensitive dominatrix.

Because Mistress Erica is the winner of the Susie Award for 2016. Hey, women. For Sweetest. Thank you.

Mistress. She is. Awesome. Can we have a picture?

Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. Sweetest, Mistress. If I was going to have a dominatrix, I'd want a sweet one. Let's have a little photo op.

Photo op. Sweet too. I would too. To whisper sweet things in your ass, she's spanking your ass.

Yeah. Well, she is very sweet and, you know, that's part of being a good dom. Absolutely. Sometimes.

By the way, you can't keep that trophy. Okay, we only have one. No, we only have one. We recycle them all the time.

I'd want a sweet dominatrix or a really mean submissive. One of the two. Well. A combination of both.

I like to think a message to Erica, we get both. So, okay, so what do you have as a beginner type of thing? What would you say is good for someone that isn't into pain, but that needs to be punished?

And what should we use? Like maybe a flogger. You know, floggers are really good. I mean, sometimes, you know, bare-handed spanking.

That's the trick too. Bare-handed. I've done that many a times. Yes.

Bare-handed, you boys. That is really a gift. Maybe I should know what it feels like since, you know, I'm the one that usually gives them. I think you should know, you know, find out what it feels like.

Okay, so over the knee, I mean, yeah. I will hold your arm. Over the knee. I think over the knee it's a birthday boy.

It is a birthday. Time traveling back to childhood. Were you ever spanked as a child or not? No, no.

So, therefore, okay, where's the microphone? I need, I need it. Wait, where's he getting spanked at? Grab that microphone.

I got to pretend I'm as buff as he cored the wolf right now. I want a wolf sound right now. Howl. Howl.

Howl. Damn, that was a howl. Come on backstage. Okay.

That was special. Johnny Jungle is getting ready for the jungle. Right, okay. Alright, Mistress, where do you want this birthday?

The thing is, we're not spanking your top. Well, I mean, I'm going to get ready. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, we're going to do over the knee, right?

I'll hold the mic. So, you got to take off those pants. Those pants. Can you hear that?

That's those pants. I'm going to let Gypsy run this because I am technically a boss and I don't watch I feel like he wants Mr. Erika. I mean, he gets a walk right over there.

He did, didn't he? Ready for it? He's like, I don't need to see. You can help with one of the mics.

So, Dr. Susan, his article got over 8,000 hits. And she means that stuff too. Oh my gosh, I'm in the wrong spot. So, that's what he gets.

He gets 8,000 hits. Oh, baby. That's what it says. That's what it says.

Everyone's getting very excited out there. Whoa. I think she was very sweet. That was sweet.

No, she's not. That was sour. Oh, wow. She's not as hard as I think I've gone in my sex life.

Wow. Is it okay? Are you okay with that? I might get the threshold.

You're at the threshold. A little softer, please. I'm going to erase. Sweet mistress.

A little softer for the birthday boy. Oh. Oh, not that soft. What a whiner.

Oh, wait, hey, don't show this on Facebook. Go ahead. Don't show this guy's ass on Facebook. Oh, okay.

Yeah, just show, you know, let's move it over here. But there's no bone. Where are we at right now? But let's have some photos.

Are we taking photos out there? I hope so. Photos. There we go.

Yeah, Teen, you like this, buddy? Yeah. And so, how many are we up to? Who's counting?

Oh, wait. I thought, well, I'm sure there's a few in there. Right? I lost.

I think it's about like eight. I think it's because he hasn't finished reading it yet. You need to spank him with the book. Sabinobo way.

Yeah. Because, you know, read it or get read by it. That was good. Right.

Thank you, Mr. Smith. Wow. Oh my gosh. Good for you.

Get it moving quotes too. This is awesome. Wow. Look at that little bottom getting all pink and like hot.

Right. The bonobo way. He is, actually. See, I'm kind of dark because I'm, you know, somewhat Middle Eastern.

No, you're definitely getting as red as my cute little white bottom. Like right now. Very red. Like very pinkish.

Mr. Smith, you are no longer the sweet mystery. Right. Actually, this is kind of sweet, but from what I've seen. But, yeah, you're taking it like a good birthday boy.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Let's hear it for Johnny Jungle. Yeah.

Birthday boy. And let's hear it for Mr. Sarah. Oh, look at that. That's sweet.

Whoo. Beautiful. Good job, Mr. Sarah. And good job, Johnny Jungle.

That was amazing. Good for you. And you are so proper and you're articulating yourself. Like, you know.

Where's your microphone? He was. He was, wasn't he? Boy, you got something to look forward to, buddy.

Oh, yeah. Mistress. We've, we're going to have to move right into the next half soon. I mean, yeah.

Yeah. How's your ass feel when you're sitting down? It's, it's like burning a little bit, but not like, it's interesting. In a good way?

Yeah. It's tingly, tingly. Yeah. We'll find out what it feels like tomorrow.

Do you think you've added a new activity to your erotic repertoire? I think so. Yeah. I think so.

Very nice. Wow. How did you enjoy spanking our birthday boy? I loved it.

You loved it. It was a very spinkable ass. Thank you. I loved it so much.

I thought it was kind of like a thin ass, usually, you know, like a bony ass. But you know, I think, I'm glad it was good. Yeah. Wrap your hand around.

Unless you're Donny, in which case you have small hands. Oh. Yes. I do see that.

I do. Yeah. Hold this. This is your award.

And this is the sweetest mistress, Erica. Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. Yeah. And she knows how to, you know, kind of gauge her spankings for birthday boys, even if

it's their first time. She handles the bonobo while we're really good. All those threats that you received as a child were leading up to this, Johnny. So I do want to ask, does a mistress ever get spanked?

I myself am also a switch. So, you know, I can take it as hard as I can. You give it and you can take it. Well, we're going to see what that might mean in the next half.

Payback. But we are certainly running out of time for the first half. So if you want to go to the bathroom or you could watch the fabulous Sybian ride. Commercial.

Commercial. Unless you're on Facebook, in which case you can't watch that. They can listen, they can listen to it. Yeah.

So do whatever you need to do. But don't come yet and don't go away. We'll be right back. Hi, I'm Dr. Susan Block and I've just written a new book called The Bonobo Way

inspired by my love for the make love not war great apes. You know, the ones who have a lot of sex in a bonobo sutra of positions, including face to face. But it's not just how bonobos have sex.

It's how they use sex to prevent murder and war. Really. They're the only great apes that have never been seen killing each other. They practice what I call peace through pleasure.

With the females gently dominating the very happy, very sexually satisfied males. Bonobos are special partly because they just are. And partly because they're very, very close to us. Almost 99% genetically similar to us.

When it comes to being human. Even being humane. Bonobos can teach us so much. Which brings me to us and more specifically to you.

Is your inner bonobo longing to swing free? Would you like to tap into the hot natural sex energy within you that you would? So you can better enjoy the pleasures in life and cope with the pain. You know, the pain.

And have more orgasmic, organic, sustainable sex. Who doesn't want that? Greater lust, greater trust and better anger management. And who couldn't use a little bit of that these days?

So get the book, learn the bonobo way. You'll be glad you did. Then you'll want to join Bonoboville. A new global village for bonobo lovers and friends.

And one last thing. The real bonobos are highly endangered. So a portion of all book sales go to bonobo conservation groups working to save the wild bonobos from extinction.

Read the bonobo way. And learn why this could be the most important eco-sexual movement of our times. And improve your love life.

Sisters, we are going to have a Sybian ride. Sybian ride. So you've never been on a Sybian before? No, I've never been on one before.

Okay. Now you are ready to ascend the throne. Mr. Tracy, you are going to ride God's machine now. Put one leg right here.

Put the other right here. And just position yourself comfortably. Put your clip right here. Okay, so here she goes.

Mountain. Sybian. Have you ever ridden a Sybian, by the way? Oh, I have.

Many a times. My favorite horse to ride. It's fun. Have Sybian yoga.

And experience it to the fullest. Go for the G-Spot. Go for the clip. Go for whatever works.

Holy shit. That does the job. Sybian strikes again. Yes, I do say that when it feels good.

Live on dr.Suzi.tv from the womb room in Bonoboville. Right on cowboy. Take a G-Frag. G-Frag.

Oh, relax. Oh, fuck. We never get tired of watching a pretty girl on the Sybian celebrate and masturbation month.

Yes. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. So in the morning, ding dang don't.

Oh, yes. Yes, yes. What? Yes.

Oh, Jesus. Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yes. I think we have orgasm, Houston, and let's have a hand! We have lift-off! We have lift-off! Dang it!

Stop! Eva Ejectionary We, we, we, we Okay, we're gonna come, we're gonna come!

Testify, Sister Penny Testify That you masturbate! And you are not ashamed!

I am not ashamed! How was it? What's your report? My vagina is so tingly right now, it feels like pop rock. I'm just gonna take this home.

Take it off. I think it's bigger than your little body. That is the best product endorsement I've ever seen. Can I leave now? Like, I'm ready, I'm...

...one. I still think I could at least leave this room. Where's the husband? He got the simian, you don't need the husband.

Oh my God! Whoa! Whoa! Don't let her fall over. Whoa!

Hey darling girl. I love you. That's my girl. We're listening to Radio Susie Wonder on the World Wide Web.

And now, here she is, down to Susan Block. Yes indeed! Welcome back to Bonoboville Brothers and Sisters Lovers. Here we are.

And it's April Fool's Day Night if you're tuned in live. And, you know, a lot of people think that humor is a mark of being human. That only humans have a sense of humor. But that's not true.

Bonobos... I have a lot of humor. Yes indeed. They love to laugh.

And not only do they love to laugh, but they actually make jokes. They play practical jokes on each other, as well as on humans.

Right. In fact, we had a guest on the show named Christian Breyer, who did these documentaries about animals, including bonobos.

I should say non-human animals, because we're all animals. But he was interviewing the late, great, Panbenisha Bonobo, who is able to speak sign language

and through computers, as well as her hands. Or was, she passed away. But she was not really ready to do an interview with him. He wanted her to do certain things in his documentary.

And she communicated to him that she would like him to do certain things for her before she would return the favor. And this is how bonobos are.

Especially the females, the femdom females of Bonoboville. They go, hey, you want me to do something? I would like you to prove your, you know, loyalty, trust.

As it should be in all, everything. So she directed him through sign language and computer graphics to put on a gorilla suit. They have a gorilla suit at the center.

And he put on the gorilla suit. And she told him to scare the electrician that worked there, who apparently she knew. And she wanted him to run down a hill

and just, you know, kind of go boo to this electrician dressed as a gorilla. And he did it and she was watching through the window and laughing and pointing as though she was a director

in a director's chair just really enjoying her own movie that she made. And then he comes in like all sheepish, takes all of his gorilla suit and she agrees to basically do the interview with him

because he was a good boy. That's so great. So it's a great story that demonstrates the femdom culture of bonobos as well as their sense of humor.

And not just their ability to laugh, but their ability to, you know, get jobs at the comedy store. I mean, they are funny. They make humor.

They're like the OGs of humor because they were around before. It's basic humor. Basic humor. Primal humor.

Yeah. I love it. Yeah. And tickles, lots of tickles.

All you people with tickling fetishes that, hey, you know, I think that goes beyond bonobos. I mean, our dogs have tickling fetishes, right? I think everybody has tickling fetish.

I think I mean, Dr. Suzy, you know, there was a few. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

But anyway, speaking of bonobos, guess what brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, subbies and dominatrixes? I, the bonobo queen,

am going to be giving the bonobo way of femdom power, the talk at Domcon 2017. I am so excited. That's great.

So, so excited. Yes, it is a talk. It is a lecture. It is very serious.

I show, you know, footage of bonobos, and I talk about how bonobos are the femdom, most femdom apes on earth, and what we can learn from them

so that we can deal with the trumps of the world, the common chimps and baboons, basically. That are running around. That are running around and running things.

Seriously. And loose. And we're on the verge. We're on the voyage.

We almost got, you know, a woman. Granted, she's not the most bonobo woman in the world, but a woman we almost got in the highest office in the land. And so I think we're kind of teetering back and forth

between the bonobo way and, you know, the way of the dunce and the baboons and war and the prison industrial complex and, you know, just being mean to people,

the bully way. Right. So, got to read the bonobo way to know the bonobo way. And come to my lecture where...

Got to come to Domcon. Come see the queen. Of course, gypsy bonobo will be there. I will be there.

I'm so excited. And now I got to break the good-bad news, which is that it's at 11.30 in the morning on Saturday. Oh, okay.

She knows. She knows me well. But I don't care for you. I will get up at five and prepare.

Yeah, you're going to get up at five and prepare. I will do what girls need to do. That's what makes us girls. And it's actually good because that will give us time

to go to the pet show and the pony show and the mistress picture. I'm very excited about that. We get to do all that,

which last year we kind of missed because we were in the middle of the afternoon. We were in a leisurely time of four o'clock, and that made us miss everything.

Well, not this time. So this time we're going to do it early. I'm excited. You know, like I said,

for these kind of things, it's like Christmas. You got to prepare. You have your... Yes, absolutely.

Your things ready the day before. Domcon is a big thing. And like I said, we have our queen speaking and giving the best advice that we all should be listening to.

You all have to be there. You've got no excuses. You've got nothing else to do at 11.30 in the morning on Saturday.

I know that I don't. You can come in your sleep. If you like, you can be asleep. And we'll wake you up with a book spanking.

That's right. Because I think some of our Dom friends will be able to make it at 11.30. And they'll be ready for it.

Some of them are like, oh, I got to go to the pet show. But you know, there's no pet show at 11.30 in the morning. There's just putting on your makeup.

That's right. Okay. So we're so excited to see Mr. Sian and everybody. And I am a guest of honor.

So, you know, I got to behave myself. I guess. Or maybe I don't behave myself. And Jackie will be there too.

Hi, Jackie. Hi, Jackie. And so we're going to have a lot of fun. And it's...

Not to mention myself. Oh, yeah. Max, who makes it all happen and takes us in his magical ride to where we need to go.

So thank you, Max. Captain Max and his cat. Maybe he's going to wear leather or chap so you can show your beautiful ass.

Really? I am only dreaming. I want to see Max and chap. I do too.

He's throwing up a little bit back there. Oh, my God. It's getting exciting now. We are excited.

Okay. So what else are we? We're Fools for Love. And okay, that's also a song by Lord Huron

about a guy who winds up getting beaten up by this big guy because they're fighting over a girl. Just get into the cuckold thing, guys.

Right. Share, share, share. Be a bonobo. Okay.

So, yeah. And I do want to... I kind of hate almost everything Mike Pence stands for but I do want to say, hey, it's okay

if you have a kinky relationship with your wife. It kind of reminds me of the Christian swingers where they say, well, you can't go to a swing party without me.

So in this case, he can't go to a party with alcohol without her. She knows what's going to happen. No, no, she knows what's going to happen.

She knows he's a horn dog. This guy's a horn dog. I guess so. So he can't go to a fun party.

Right. But that's fine. You know, that's okay. Just do not legislate for any of us

not being able to. Well, let's hope not. Unless his wife is there. Well, but that's what he does all the time.

He legislates against people's sexuality. He knows what happens. Everybody knows what happens at undressed parties. So I don't care if you're Christian,

if you're an atheist or who you are. Hey, get your finger out of my face. Yeah, you stop that. That finger business.

I don't like that. He's so lit. He has to be aggressive. I'm sorry.

I'll let you do it. Sorry, parents. Your wife. You'll never know.

When he does that, that's an uptight. That's uptight, maybe. He probably learns it from his wife. That's probably what his wife does to him every day.

He might as well be going like this, right? I don't know. I feel that he's addressing liberals with that finger. Or just women in general.

A scum. They call us scum and they call us traitors. I've been called worse. Oh, me too.

Tell us about what you think. Tell us. What's your ex-wife called you? Oh, geez.

Tell Jordan about your ex-wife. She'll sue me. Welcome to 2013. She already got the house.

No, no, he doesn't want her to get the other houses. Oh, my. All right. And I was supposed to laugh tonight.

He can't tell stories. So we got to flog him. He's just a bad boy. Okay, so, mistress Erica.

It's time. It's time to administer the flogging. We have to do this very elegantly. Elegantly, yes.

Actually, Gypsy, you sit here with me. Yes. And the bad boy is going to bend over. You can actually hold his microphone

while he bends over that chair. Uh-oh. Take off your clothes. If you need my assistance, I can help you.

This is good. Watch his wallet. He's going to take the padding out. Ooh, what's going on here?

Oh, he's holding his finger like Mike Pence. But it's okay. He's only talking about his own limits. And that's okay.

He's going to leave his underwear on. I'm going to leave my underwear on. And that's okay. You can have your underwear on. Because I don't want you to see my red ass.

We believe in whatever you want. Consensuality. Max is actually kind of happy about that. That's great.

Say it again. I said my underwear matches. No, no, no. Let's make your bottom match right now.

You're red. He must have known. He's ready. He's ready.

So what we're going to do is you got to turn. You bent the other knee though. You can't have one knee protecting yourself. You have to trust.

This is a trust game. I'm going to trust. Trust. Put both knees down.

There we go. Don't hold the mic. Let Gypsy hold the mic. So what I'm going to tell you now is we're going to relax together.

She is amazing to you right there. It's better than a trip to the spa. It's a beautiful feeling. It's a nice thing.

It's not so scary. No, it's not scary at all. It's pretty nice. Put some moon fin to that girl.

See, he's asking for more. Oh, here comes some warranty. Oh, don't ask for what you can't handle. She really hurt my cries, didn't she?

Yes. You can take it. Let's be nice, my sweet mistress. Whatever you give me, I'm giving you back.

She's smiling. No pain, no gain in this world. That's what they say, isn't it? It is. Look at them tattoos.

Look at that. So now she's slapped my back and everything. You have to stick your butt out more. Yeah, that's right.

Bend more. That way she'll hit your butt more. Face down, ass up. There you go.

Ass up, arch your back. My back is burning. Arch your back. You get two more bad boy wax.

Make them good. If you hide your ass, she's going to get your back. That fucking popped. She does have a sadistic smile on her face.

One more. You naughty, naughty girl. I love it. Just one more good one.

I feel she's winding up. She's trying to even you out. Like in New York Yankee, she's winding up for you. I'm just kidding. You're okay.

I know I am. I'm not dead yet, Mark. Oh, she got my boot. That's cool.

Alright, let's hear it for Mistress Erica and Mark Hodley. Aw.

Look at that sweet hug. That's April Fool's Day. That's a nice bonobo thing. Alright, so

our two comedian boys got your punishment.

He lost one comedian, I think. Now we give you another punishment. April Fool's, we give

you bonobo girl communion. Alright. So, are you ready to be an altar girl?

I'm ready to be an altar girl. Ah, the time's come. Would you like to take, thanks a lot. You want to be her altar boy,

but okay, we were going to give you communion because it's your birthday. Would you take a microphone please

or stop talking? I should know this by now. I should be spanking it. This one is special because I was sitting on it.

By the way, Easter is coming, so we have the Jesus Jackhammer dildo. Oh my God! Jackie's excited.

Yes, indeed. And when you take it, when you allow the Jesus Jackhammer dildo to penetrate your body, you can say

with all truth this is no alternative fact that Jesus is in me now. Wow. Literally.

Well, you know, whatever. Alright. So now, well, I mean,

you can jockey for a first position, but you're the birthday boy. Would you like to take the Noboville communion first? Sure.

And so, you may, being the altar girl, select the body part. I mean, you can negotiate

the body part. He would take it first. Oh, he's like, am I sucking, am I going?

And so, well, she's the altar girl, so you would take it off of her. So what part do you want to

and of course you may have the, hopefully I don't spill it everywhere this time. This is our ritual. This is how we celebrate.

This is our religion. I'm liking it. Okay. This is the, you were talking about

pain and pleasure. Right. So where would you like to take communion? Your birthday communion.

I would love your right nipple if that was an option. How do you know? You get what you ask for.

I know. This is just a gamble. And by the way, I said to her, you could offer any body part,

but she chose to give the birthday boy what he wanted. Beautiful thing.

So now, first you lick the altar in love and appreciation. I think I can do that.

Get down. Birthday boy. How's he doing? Doing good. He's a good sucker.

Sucker born every minute, but not everyone's good at it. Okay. That's enough.

So now, we take the nipple. Oh, the nipple is hard now. It wasn't that hard before.

Well, I wasn't going to say that. I thought there was something accomplished. But here's some salt. This is what we call the body

of Bonoboville communion. And that is the salt. And now you lick the salt. Yes.

Now you lick the salt. Salty nipples. Yes. Salty nipples.

And now, how was he with that? Does he deserve to go to the next step? Because you always have to deserve,

or you get flogged or spanked or something. Okay, so now you lean back. No, you have to lean back against your legs.

Yeah, okay. Maybe open them. Yeah, open your legs. And that's what he said. Okay, no nipples.

I'm Facebook. You should open his shirt or something so it doesn't look quite so corporate. Yeah.

I also don't want to, you know, spill. By the way, thank you, Agua de Bolivia,

herbal cocoa leaf liquor. Wow, look at that. Because we have new bottles. For spring.

Yeah. Okay, so lean back. Okay, now this is what we call waterboarding. Waterboarding bonobo style.

If all waterboarding was done like this, we'd get everybody to tell us the truth. Down the hatch.

Yeah, let's hear it for the birthday boy. Johnny Jungle. The beautiful altar of business owners.

The reward. Yeah. I think that was the reward, actually. Or maybe it was the punishment.

It's April Fools. Happy birthday, Johnny. Happy birthday. All right, so it's not your birthday

so you get another spanking. Oh, his face. That was priceless. I don't think anybody caught it as good as I did.

Like, oh no. It signed up for this. I've been salivating. Hoping for his opportunity.

Now are you ready for another supplicant? Yeah, you are? Okay. I'm always ready.

I just have to make sure that my guests are indeed ready and consenting adults. Okay, so are you a consenting adult?

I'm a consenting adult. But first, I do need to Yeah, come on over here. Get back in your position

and where is my Agua? Let me hold the Agua. And you got laid on your

birthday. You don't need to go to Hawaii. You just come to Bonoboville and we'll get you laid. Look at that.

Absolutely. You know, don't tell anyone that you haven't gotten laid in Bonoboville.

Okay, because you have. Okay, so now go back to your chair. Go back to your chair and be a good boy. Back to your chair.

Continue in the after party. Okay. Now we have our visiting comedian. Yes.

And what are we rewarding him for? Well, you know, just because we're kind Bonobos and we believe in, you know,

we're not cruel creatures. How about just being aware and getting flawed? Okay, okay. You took a very nice beating.

You were, you know, we love those amateur videos. I want to see you now. I also like the way you

whimpered when you said that. There was a little crying in his voice. It was a little. I'm about being flawed.

Did you like that? It was. I was after sympathy and I felt that was the only way.

It's very Bonobo. What Bonobos always give empathy. Get the opportunity to hang out with Bonobo girls.

All right, so now, yes, our gracious and lovely, sweetest, mistress, Erika

is your alter girl for Bonoboville communion. And you can negotiate

what body part you will take communion from on her. Well, I mean, my thoughts,

and I think this is only fair. Because you've got the right nip. I'd like the left. You know,

symmetry is important. A little bit of a symmetry thing going on here. I'll argue with that logic. What do you think?

Maybe your left nipple feels a little neglected. You know, my left one's ready for it.

Salt, please. Yes, thank you. So first you go over to the altar and you kneel at the altar.

Press those beautiful legs of yours. Oh, look at him bowing before the altar. You're not allowed to see nipples.

You're very, very sorry. Bye-bye, Facebook. If you're watching at home, please try this at home.

With a consenting nipple only. Okay, don't be waking anybody up in the middle of the night that doesn't want their nipples sucked.

Love it. But as you can see, this is a very consensual nipple. Very nice looking nipple. Was it enthusiastic?

It's enthusiastic on both sides. This is the lovely, sweetest dom. We love you, Mr. Serica. We love you.

So go ahead and worship the altar with your tongue. Eat your heart out, ex-wife. Wherever you might be. He didn't say that.

I did too. Sorry, I got excited too. And now we sprinkle the holy salt

which is the body on a very erect nipple. And she does have very sensitive nipples

and I love it, so do I. Good for you, girl. That's important information, Gypsy. Oh, a little TMI.

TMI. Yes, okay. The noboville communion, you take the salt and give me

the water boarding. It was worth it, right? Okay, so now

you will be water boarded. Oh, you should leave that down to the water boarding. Yes, yes. Oh, give them both.

Make a boat out. Yeah. Can you whoops, whoops, whoops.

Take these apart. You're going to get double leg maybe or triple leg. So many always involved in the noboville.

Okay. Will you unravel this part? Come here. Let me be the layer.

Oh, look at him. Oh, that's, you know, here, you can skip those. Here we go. All right.

Turn around. And now you can tell Joe Williamson management that you got laid

in the noboville. Open. Okay, yeah, yeah. Okay.

So now here he goes back. Nice kick to it. Agua. Yeah, let's hear it from Mark.

Agua. Oh, yeah. Our lovely alter girl. Very, very lovely alter girl.

It tastes good, right? Yeah. You were a trooper, you know that? Absolutely, I know that.

Thank you. Yeah, he's in the troupe. You are in the noboville troupe. That's right.

This is water boarding bonobo style and this is the way we do it in the army of bonobos, you know, where we

have, you know, dildos and vibrators instead of guns and ammo. That's right. And beautiful queens instead of dumb-ass kings.

I didn't say that. But I didn't say that. I'm sorry. I mean, it's okay as long as you keep something in their mouths,

I think is the important thing. I agree. Gag order, right. All right, so, you know what?

You got laid. Right, he's happy, look at that. I'm ecstatic, I got laid finally. And only in bonoboville

so you can work this into your act now. You'll be at the comedy store Monday night. Comedy store, okay. April night.

You never get laid at the comedy store, but you do in bonoboville. Anyone want to come, I'll give you free tickets. So, see that one more time, when is it?

Monday night, doors open 8 p.m., free tickets to the first 10 people who show up. Wow.

Such a deal. Brothers and sisters, you got to do it. You know? Laughter is a mental orgasm.

Absolutely. So, enjoy yourself. So, hey, we're already out of time, I can't believe it. It is that time.

How did it become that time so fast? Oh my God. Time flies when you're having fun. So, speaking of the goddess,

let's hear it for Mistress Erica. Oh! I want to be I'd be remiss if I didn't mention

we've interviewed your own Jackie Blue two times on a radio show. Yes, you interviewed Jackie Blue. Where's Jackie Blue?

Hi, Jackie. And, you know, she's the winner of most best submissive here

on the Susie Awards. So, great. And you're also, aren't you in some sort of x-rated movie

or something? I have two coming out. Yeah, what is that? One's Rubble Sub Take Down where I do play a sub in it. You do? Yeah.

Oh, wow. What do you take as a sub? Spankings. Spankings, drop-ons. You know, it's really...

All right, we got to watch that. Okay. It's going to be a blast. All right, Mistress Erica. And, Mistress Erica, I think

is coming back next week for our 25th wedding anniversary. Wow. So cool.

We are silver people. I don't know how I feel about the silver thing. It sort of sounds like silver things. I got you lassoed. Yeah. Okay, so Mark Hobley

check him out at the comedy store. Thank you. Check him out. I'm not going to say the Mark of the Cobra on Twitter because you're never on your Twitter.

No, but you can go to the website, markathacobra.com on your next film. Yeah. You got to do your Twitter. And maybe you'll get invited back for more.

I'm on Twitter, I guess. Not enough. He needs to be smacked more. All right. And happy birthday, Johnny Jungle.

Yeah. Johnny Jungle, happy birthday. Wow, you rock, man. If you want some more of my deep thoughts,

you can go to AlexObed.com, O-B-E-D. Oh, who's that guy? Okay. And let's also

hear it for Gypsy Bonobo. Oh, Gypsy, look at you. And Captain Max in a week.

Yes. We're celebrating 25. It is always, always extraordinary. It is always, always extraordinary

to come into your house and talk to you. And that's no joke. Even if you don't like us.

We love you. And always remember, brothers and sisters, whether you're a fool for love or you've been fooled by love,

sex is a comedy, not a tragedy. Really. How true. I love that. There could be a few tragic things that come of sex,

but considering all the other kinds of tragedies in the world that far outweigh sex and love and the Bonobo way,

then, yeah, sex is a comedy, not a tragedy. So, you know, have a great night

of fooling around. Women! That's what April Pools is all about. And that's another thing

that Bonobos love to do, is they are the ultimate fool around kind of creatures.

Enjoy your fooling around month. It's a great time. And yes,

keep the momentum going that is keeping Trump sick, okay? It's working. It's working.

Something we're doing is working. It's a little bit of vibe and a little bit of, you know, kind of what he

calls the sleepy-eyed Democrats. He calls every Democrat he doesn't like sleepy-eyed. Well, keep those sleepy-

He's getting the healthcare he deserves. Yeah, and keep him under gag order with any implement you can find.

And yes, and make like Bonobos, not baboons, make love, not war, make love to someone

you love tonight. Even if that someone is you, I love you. Woo! It's almost masturbation.

Okay! To talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else, you can talk to us.

I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves. But my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute

for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy over the phones. Anytime you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy

or a hot phone sex experience or a combination, my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away.

Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you, role play for you, fantasize with you,

no fantasy is too taboo and help you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes

to marriages. For more information, call us at 213-291-9497. That's 213-291-9497.

Anytime you need to talk. You're listening to Radio Suzy 1 on the World Wide Web.