Winter Solstice with PoleKat

Full transcript of Winter Solstice with PoleKat on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

need to talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else? You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves, but my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy

over the phone. Any time you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination, my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you,

advise you, role play for you, fantasize with you, no fantasy is too taboo, and help you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. For more information call us at 213-291-9497. That's 213-291-9497 any time you need to talk.

You're listening to Radio Suzy One on the World Wide Web and now here she is, Dr. Susan Block. Brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, artists and exhibitionists, voyeurs and connoisseurs, Christmas elves and Hanukkah devils, golden satyrs and winter solstice, goddesses, all you know. And it is, if you're listening to us live or watching on Dr. Susan TV, the winter

solstice as well as full moon, oh my. And it's a very auspicious time for me as Mrs. Claus. You're a naughty Santa's horny housewife, the irreverent Dr. Susan Block. It's a great pleasure for me to share this very auspicious sort of mother nature moment with you out there in Radio Suzy Land. We're broadcasting live from my studio in the

new Bonoboville. It's my little studio. It's a tiny little studio. But we'll build it out and we'll be back to the big show soon. But this is a little show here at LAX. Yeah. Those aren't just cars outside. Those are 747s and angels, brothers and sisters. It is winter solstice. It is Christmas time again. And we're so excited. We have a wonderful tree outside

actually. We have a couple inside but they're not in back of me. I still have the Brooklyn Bridge. But we have one tree with condomania condoms out on it. And we have, of course, the baby Jesus butt plug and Mother Mary dildo nativity scene courtesy of divine interventions. And, yeah, the whole nativity scene is outside by the Christmas tree. But

I brought baby Jesus and Mother Mary in just in case. So, we are a small studio here at LAX. We have a stripper pole. We have a pole in the middle of the studio. That's right. You can see it. If you're watching on webcam right now, no one's switching at all. Okay. I'm trying to show the pole, folks. And here's Captain Max. Come right in, baby. Hi, hi,

hi. I'm stroking your pole. You're stroking my pole. For Christmas. I'm not Polish. But you have a very nice solid pole. What's going on? For a non pole walk. For a non pole walk, right? What's going on, Doc? What's going on? Well, you know, I mean, I'm here for winter solstice. And we have an exciting guest tonight. And we also,

you know, have you. What's going on with you? Well, I'm just walking around the studio trying to see what's going on. Okay. Yeah. And you know, our good dear old friend Al Goldstein has passed away. He's gone away. Yeah. Winter is a time of cold and darkness and death. That's why we have a lot of sex to, you know, kind of ward

the death away. Enough little deaths can chase the big death away. But not always and not eventually for anyone. So we'll talk about Al some more in a little while. Sure. But right now we'll celebrate the living. We need to get some facts straight. Yeah. We're going to do that. We're going to get some facts straight because

Straight facts. You've led sort of interesting parallel lives. And in fact, you're the living one of the two of you. So I guess you can get the facts straight and Al can disagree from the grave. Good luck Al. This is one time you can't talk back. We'll do brunch. Right. Yeah, we'll do brunch. I told you Al, when we get up

there, whenever I get up there and we get up there with you, we're going to buy you lunch. Yes. Brunch. Brunch. With all the trimmings. That's correct. Right. The big suckling pig in the middle. That's correct. Right. And of course a stripper pole and a stripper. Yes. Everything. Al liked to live it up.

Yes, he did. And he lived up a good life. And he kind of, you know, died like a lot of certain kinds of philosophers. A mask, a great fortune, and then lose it all. You know? Something about going back to nothing. Right. Going back to nothing. And anyway you can't take it with you.

Exactly. Or you have to leave it for your kids or some... Right. It's kind of unfortunate. It is unfortunate. But anyway, we'll talk more about that later. Let's celebrate the living. I keep looking at this very exotically dressed guest that we have. And she's quite angelic

looking. And she has on black and white and red, which are the colors tonight. She looks a little like... Can you turn that a little towards me so I can see it? A little. No, no, that one, that one there. Yeah, don't get yourself on fire. Right, right, right. I don't want to do that.

Yeah, okay. Well, that's kind of okay. Okay. All right. Can you see it? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Better. So, yes, I have my Christmas candle, you know, for effect. And I have a guest who's very exciting because we are finally going to make good use of our

stripper pole, I think, because she is a... Dance pole, dance pole. Well, right. It's a dance pole. You don't have to strip. Right. You could already be naked. Right. No, I mean, you could be dressed. You could just use it for exercise.

People use it for all kinds of things. But we use it in our studio and we haven't really used it with an expert and now we're going to. So, welcome to Radio Susie One. Cat face pole dancing instructor, pole dancing princess. Here she is, brothers and sisters. Hello, hello. Okay, here she is.

Yes, show off. Come on over here. Come over this way. Yes, let me have a good look at you. Look at this beautiful outfit. Turn around, turn around. Yes, wow. Yes, you are quite decked out. And in the correct Christmasy colors and very angelic, totally.

Very nice here. So, you do have to sit down to talk though. Absolutely. And, okay. And what do we do about headphones for cat face? You can't put them on her side. You can put them this way. You can sort of hold them around. Yeah, okay, there you go.

You can hear better now. Okay, so talk right into the microphone. Okay, turn up her mic. Yes. We have an exotic Christmas bird. A winter solstice peacocked.

Or a seagull or something. She's going to take her feathers off her head. Okay, it's too bad because it is nice. But, you know, this is radio. So, you've got to, yeah, you can put it back on. Now you look like a ballerina. Actually, I'm going to switch with her. She should sit here.

She should. You should sit between the girls, right? That's what you want to do. Switching? And this is an outfit made entirely of tape, almost. Pretty much tape. All kinds of tape. Oh, panties. Panties and tape.

You are an angel. And, by the way, it's Panny Boy's birthday. So stand up a little and you can show off those panties on the other side as well. You can turn around. Panny Boy's birthday is Christmas. And so, we associate him and the panties. The gift of panties.

The gift that never stops giving. Oh, here, you have to talk into the microphone. The gift that never stops giving. Right. Especially if you like used panties. Right. Right. Then it keeps giving and giving and giving. Right. Okay.

So, now, did you create this outfit that's on you of total tape? Microphone, please. It was actually not my idea. I have recently joined a group of performers called the Sirens. Oh, hang on. Max's microphone is not working.

Oh, there it is. Hello, hello, hello. Thank you. All right. The Sirens call me. Yes. And that's why I'm a little out of breath and all decked out in feathers. We're actually doing another event simultaneously.

Oh, wow. So, yes, I'm kind of like... You're in the middle. You really flew here. Literally. Well, I'm so pleased that you flew here. As am I. It's a pleasure and an honor, Dr. Suzy.

It's a pleasure to be here with you. Okay, girlfriend. Yes. And you wore the right colors. I mean, were you doing a Christmas performance? So, it's called Abundance and basically celebrates the arts and artists. We were there to represent the Sirens. You notice...

Sirens of ancient Greek mythology? In not so many words. We're basically a bunch, a bunch. About 10 to 15 performers. Yes. Each of us have a different specialty. Mine is ballet and pole.

Right. Ballet on the pole. We have fire performers, grinders, and just basically people who are artists and we were representing the group. And so, it was actually one of the other group members' ideas to do the tape.

So, was this the first time you performed in tape? Yes. It is. Wow. Well, it looks fantastic. Now, you have to have the body for this, right? Which you developed through your pole dancing.

Yes, absolutely. So, you look great, but if you don't know what to wear for Christmas, it's like a wrapping in a way. You wrap up your body in different colored tape in red and white and black. Yeah, you could use green. I don't see green. You got green?

No green. Not this time. But you've got the green for both of us. Green. Yeah, I do. I do. I want to do... Because it's not just Christmas and actually if you're tuned in live,

it is winter solstice. Yes. Cheers. Cheers. And yeah, it's winter solstice and... I love your straw. Where does one get a penis for a straw?

A penis for a straw. We should get you one perhaps in the kitchen. Yeah, we should get our guest a penis straw. Absolutely. It does make drinking anything so much more delicious and meaningful. I would figure. Right?

Yes. So, alright. So what are you drinking? It looks a little bit... I mean, can I say what it looks like? I know. I agree. I know exactly what you're thinking, but you can please share. But what it looks like is... I don't know if I would want to drink that.

No. You know, some people do enjoy that though. Some do. Some do. Is that what you're drinking? No, God. No, I am not one of those who enjoys that. Let's just say it. I'm a sex therapist. It looks like it's a golden shower.

Agreed. Or a beer. It's a beer. Okay. Yes. Fresh angels. I'm not being in a jar like that.

You know what? Point made. You know, the jar thing. Yes. Okay. Well, I mean, but it's okay. You know, some people are into that. Exactly. And we can't judge.

I can give them. I have given a few. Quite a few. Have you really? Yeah. And? Well, I mean, I love to piss.

Oh, wow. There's nothing just, I mean, aside from orgasming, which takes more work, a little bit. But I mean, pissing is just such glorious, easy fun. It's a lovely thing to do. It's a lovely activity.

Agreed. Agreed. You know, and if somebody wants to drink it, I mean, and if it's convenient to offer it, then deck the halls. Where are the bells? Lay down the tar.

We need some bells. Yeah. Ding, ding, ding. We do have a, yeah, a nativity scene. Oh, my God.

Mother Mary and baby Jesus. I need a photo of this, please. Mother Mary and the baby Jesus butt plug. So that's a, they're butt plugs?

Yes. Oh, they're not dildos. This is a butt plug. This one's, Mary happens to be a dildo.

Appropriate, I think. Yeah. You know, she's the one you go to. What religion are you, by the way? I was raised a Catholic, but I am agnostic.

Well, then you know about Mary. I do. She's your intercessor. That's maybe perhaps why she's a dildo here.

Makes complete. Intercede, intercede. And of course the baby Jesus. He's just a little thing.

And appropriate that he goes up the ass. Brought to us by divine interventions. Are you talking about like the way the Catholic church treats its people? Yes.

In addition to so many different ways one can interpret the fact that baby Jesus is designed to go up an ass. Yes. Yes. So I don't know where to go with this. Right.

Talk to you about anal sex, about your Catholic upbringing. Yes. Pissing, golden showers. Well, we already did that one. Oh, I know, but just in general.

The topics. Yeah. That's why I always loved your show. Oh, thank you.

And still do. Yes. Well, and here you are on it. I'm so honored.

Yes. Thank you. Well, I'm delighted to have you here. You have to improve your Twitter, but your Facebook is great.

Thank you. Thank you. I try. You have some very loyal Facebook followers.

Hi guys. Yes. Hi. Thank you.

Thank you. For you. They support you. They do.

And you tell us about your philosophy of dance and empowerment. So for me, I was, I've been dancing ballet and jazz ever since I was a little girl. I had an injury that basically put my professional aspirations on a permanent hold. And the artistic bug, if you will, the dance, the, that thing has been inherent in me throughout

my life. And when the injury took me out, I just fell into a depression. I was watching a television show one day and I saw this unbelievable dancer on a pole. And I, and I was just flabbergasted because I, like most of society associated pole with

strippers and sex. Sure. I call it a stripper pole. Well, I mean, who doesn't?

I mean, I call it, I mean, pole. Yeah. I mean, the pole doesn't seem like enough. Right.

Dance pole, I guess, is what you could call it. And maybe that's what it's evolving to be. It is. Yeah.

Over the years. It's vertical pole. It's pole art as opposed to, I don't know, pole dance, pole dance again has the association. But when I start, and so after watching that show, I immediately got online and I found dance

studios. I started taking classes. A year later, I started teaching those classes. But there was something missing from every aspect of it, the artistic component.

There was the sexual component, which is great. Yes. And you can't, you know, disassociate that from the pole. But again, that artistic element.

And so my training in ballet, that was my focus. And so as a form of empowerment, you know, again, a lot of the students that come to me, our housewives, their doctors, their lawyers, their nurses have always had this fear of their sexuality, myself included.

And it's a safe, comfortable environment to express yourself through movement and through getting sexy. It's kind of like what belly dancing was in the 1990s, I think. Yes.

You know, it's like one of those things. It's a very sexual form of dance that in many instances throughout history has been something that women have done for men. But on the other hand, you know, you could have women doing it just as a great form

of exercise that also is very sensuous and makes you just feel hot and sexy. And loosens up your spine. And yeah. Absolutely.

For hubby. So, yeah, I mean, I think it's a lot like that. And it is sexy no matter what. I mean, it's a pole for God's sake.

It's kind of a phallic thing. Exactly. So, yeah, so you teach pole dancing. I teach pole dancing.

And is it mostly women that study? You know, I've had quite a few male students come through. And more inquiries. But, you know, there's the

Misassociation Association pole women of a guy and a pole. There's an assumption of homosexuality and, you know, that whole conversation, but men generally are built as stronger beings. And so their abilities far exceed that of women just because of their natural

strength. The numbers are quite few. But it's gaining popularity even with men. It meant male gymnastics.

You know, I was just thinking it could be a male gymnastics thing. I'm female for that matter. In fact, I've heard that they're talking about putting it in the gymnastics. Yes.

In the Olympics, actually. In the Olympics. Right. Right.

Right. We have a friend, Bonnie Rotten, who is an incredible pole dancer and is now a porn star. Pull on porn star.

You know, I mean, you go all different ways. I mean, there's all kinds. I wonder, do any of your students, are any of them strippers or do they go on to strip?

Do they need to get some instruction in order to do that? So interesting that you should ask. It's the minority of students that are actually working as strippers.

I went and danced at a bikini par one time. So I can actually share my experience. And what I found was that the more tricks that you do, the more elaborate the performance.

Men don't really give a shit. They don't. They want you to gyrate. They want you to move your hips.

Be sexy. Be sexy. Yeah. The night that I actually did it, I was sweating up a storm,

busting out my best moves. Nobody gave two shits. There was a girl who went right after me. She had fur, a fur cap, you know, a fur, fur gloves,

fur ankle booties, holding a lollipop. Right. Just back and forth in it. They reigned money on her.

That's what men are all about. They like sex. Well, I mean, not all men, some are looking for art. But when they go into a strip joint, a strip club,

they're definitely looking for sex. Nothing wrong with that boy. But there's different types of pole work, I guess. Different types.

And I mean, this girl, Bonnie Rotten, she really combined. She had a lot of very gymnastic, very artistic moves. But she's also a total stripper. Just, yeah.

So there's all kinds. There's all kinds, all kinds. And now there's more and more of the housewives and just anybody.

All kinds of people. I mean, I know for myself, I cannot go to the gym. I just can't. I get bored.

I get frustrated. And at least with pole dancing for me personally, I can take a class. I can do my trainings.

And it doesn't feel like exercise. It doesn't feel like work. And all of a sudden you turn and you look and you're completely ripped.

It's amazing. Wow. Well, you are. I used to be better.

But I've been lazy. Oh, well, I wouldn't know how you were better. But you look good. Thank you.

And the tape is very good. It's a way to accentuate things. Yeah, very good. So, yeah.

So winter solstice. Is there a mood that you're in? Like to do a little bit of a demo on this very tiny stage. I grant you.

This is a super tiny stage. And that's one reason we haven't had much action on here. Although we have had a little bit of movement. And it's solid.

It's built. It is solid. Oh my. It's built to hold anybody and anything.

That's good. And, yeah, it's held guys, big, heavy guys, upside down. And to your point, just want to make sure people know, you know, it's not just for skinny girls.

Depending on the pole, the apparatus, you can be up to 300 pounds. You can be up to 80 years old. My oldest student was 75.

My largest student was about 275 pounds. So it's for everybody. Yeah. And it's a fun workout.

Oh my God. It is so much fun. Yeah. And then you can also seduce your loved one with it.

Absolutely. Or maybe get a job. Hey. Or go to amateur night.

Or something. I mean, there's a lot of that. There is a lot of that. These amateur nights.

And also when you go down to Mexico or somewhere like that and get super drunk and just jump up on the stripper pole stage, you want to not make a fool of yourself, right? You know what?

And you don't even have to wait to be in the presence of a pole. Go out. Look around your community. Light post.

Light post. Yeah. You're going to dance around the light post. Okay.

Well, I mean, I think it would look kind of silly if you were, you know, doing a little hip circle gyration thing around, you know, a stop sign. But I know a lot of friends and myself included.

We would go, you know, you're waiting to cross the street. There's a pole. Hey, do a move. It's a lot of fun.

Do a move. Do a move. We're ready for me to do a move. Yeah.

Yeah, we are. I think I might need a little help in here to move a microphone. Yes. We are going to now have a stripper pole.

Well, okay. A dance pole. It's a dance pole. She's already half stripped anyway.

I mean, she's barely wearing anything. And that's also important. Is to show the body. To show as well as you need a lot of skin to grip this phallic symbol.

You do. Right. You can't wear a lot of stuff. So that's good.

We like that. Yes. Oh, I see you've come in for this moment. Oh, no, you came in to help.

Okay. We need to move this microphone over in a way that, and also get the camera, you know, focused on our stripper pole.

I keep saying stripper pole. Our dance pole. Cat face is our guest. Actually, your name, your full name is Jay Cat Face.

Correct? That is correct. Okay. And what is the Jay stamp for?

Anything? Justine. I thought it was Jesus. Justine.

Yes. Actually, I did do a scene once where my character was basically the, the female Jesus we called. Really?

Yes. I knew it. I knew it. Okay.

Jesus. Justine. Cat face. I like that.

I think that's how you have to use that sometimes, especially maybe on your Twitter, Jesus Dean cat face, that'll inspire you to get back on there. I love it.

And I got to put a trademark by it. Actually, before Christmas, you got to do it. The baby Jesus blesses that name. Jesus Dean cat face.

Make sure Jesus is watching. Baby Jesus is watching and so is Mother Mary. We left the devil outside. Of course, I'm inside.

I'm your naughty Mrs. Claus. And I knew I was going to have a Christmas angel. Look at these boots though. Jesus.

Speaking of Jesus. Mm hmm. Okay. And do you want to have your hat on or do you think that that,

maybe no, no. Right. So you can tell I'm not a pole dancing expert. Did you want to see?

Okay. So microphone, can we get a mic in? Yeah. Okay.

That's good. So when you want to talk, just go over there. Okay. Did you want to see more of a trick or more of a sexual hip

thing or a little post? Why don't you, can you, since you're an instructor, why don't you use that to tell us what you're going to do and you can do both.

Okay. How about this? Yeah. Okay.

Or I'll just describe what you're doing. I'm going to just play a song for you guys. Okay. So Abe is going to play a song.

Do you have any requests as to music? No requests. No requests. Okay.

All right. Let's see this. No hard rock. Okay.

Rubbing alcohol. We need rubbing alcohol. Oh. Uh oh.

I think I have some in my vodka. Vodka. How about vodka? Yeah.

We're going to rub our pole, our dance pole down with vodka. Okay. Look at these power boots. Don't kick me with those.

Okay. Yeah. Can you get into a crouch over there? Okay.

Here we go. Okay. Yeah. You're good.

You know what to do. Unwrap it. Yeah. And then you can stand up there.

Very good. Okay. All right. So you do not have to wear shoes, stripper heels, contrary to popular belief.

No. You are wearing big kick ass shit kick boots. Shit kickers. Yes.

Um, a lot of girls do like to wear the stripper shoes because again, it elongates the body. It makes them feel more sexy. Also, isn't it lighter when you're trying to kick up your heels? I mean, um, it's, it actually feels like you're adding another 20 pounds.

But in all actuality, it's really not that much heavier. All right. So, okay. Well, it helps the workout.

It really improves the thighs. Okay. So what are you going to do now? What are you going to show us now?

So first I'm going to start with some basic like hip rolls and then we will take it up and we'll do some more complicated tricks. All right. Hip rolls for winter solstice, brothers and sisters.

You watch this very carefully. This is a Jay cat face and she's grinding kind of not really grinding, but she's rolling, rolling her hips back and forth side to side and around in a circle. Yes.

Around and around and now next when the legs are straight, you can push the hips back. Okay. And now we've got some vodka on a towel. Yes.

Is that what we have? We do. Okay. So we're wiping our pole down with vodka brothers and sisters.

Tweet at Radio Susie 1 if you want to know more about how to pole dance properly for the new year. Wipe your pole down with vodka. I'm hoping we're tweeting that.

Okay. Talk into the microphone. Now I've got the music going. So the purpose of the wipe down, if you will, is if the pole gets really slippery and this

is again for more advanced tricks, you don't want to fall and land on your head. So you want to wipe it down with some form of alcohol so that you have a nice sticky pole. You have the option to use additional grip on your hands so that again to prevent slipping,

if you find that you are too sticky, again, you always just want to wipe, wipe the pole up and down. Wipe your pole. You know, a lot of guys are getting very turned on by this.

They would like to get their pole wiped. Okay. So here she goes. Now she's going to take her boots off.

See? I thought so. Yeah. Because it is a lot of weight.

And she's wearing cute little athletic socks. And now for the foot fetishes in the crowd. She has taken off her socks and she is all footed out here. She's showing you her sole, baby.

Yeah. Yeah. Show that sole again to the web camera. Yeah, baby.

Oh, yeah. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle. Okay.

And here we go. Now you're going to do what? A shoulder mount. Okay.

This is a fancy thing now. Shoulder mount. Here she goes. Cat face is doing a shoulder mount, lifting up and now sliding down the pole.

There she goes. Sliding down the pole. And flying. I knew we'd have an angel for Christmas.

And we have a flying angel. Oh, yes. Yes, a beautiful flying angel for Christmas, brothers and sisters. Yes.

Praise the Lord and the lady. Praise this lady. Praise cat face. Pole dancing princess angel.

Can I hear an amen? Amen. Can I hear an amen? Amen.

Yeah. Pole dancing princess. That's a good move to learn for Christmas, you know. How to, you know, kind of spin around like an angel.

You can do it for the kids if you're fully dressed. Make sure your panties are on, you know. But this is a great seduction device. Okay.

So we're going to see something else? Yeah? Okay. Okay.

You got it. I can't hear you though. That's hot. So now I'm just going to do a couple of basic spins.

The move before was way advanced. You don't want to try that at home. Oh. Unless you have a spotter.

Right. Only in my studio. Right. It was nice though.

We were all your spotters and we didn't know it. We would have saved you. Okay. Here she goes.

Cat face spinning around. Now this is something you can try at home. You just spin around. Just hook your leg around the pole.

Hook the ankle around and then around we go. Oops. But you know, it's a problem if the microphone gets caught on your tail. Yeah.

So just like Dr. Suzy said, you have one ankle in front, one behind. One ankle in front and one behind. And you're using some arm strength here. Yes.

A lot of times you will not be able to, you know, get onto a pole and do some of this. But a lot of the basic moves. You will start to develop body strength immediately, upper body. You know, that's why this is really good for guys.

They have upper body strength more than we have. But I think that's one reason these guys love to go to strip clubs other than seeing, you know, pussy and titties. Is they like to see women struggling to do what they do more easily.

Ah, yes. The pole. Okay. So now what are we going to see?

Some fitness moves. Fitness moves. Okay. Stay fit with your pole.

Pole. Uh-huh. Pole pull-ups. Here we go.

Okay. Pole pull-ups. Whoa. Up we go.

And she's bending her knees. Okay. This is again good for the arms and the chest. Right.

And the torso. Uh-huh. She's pulling around. Okay.

Here we go. This is, do you have a song request? How about, I have a request. Two short.

There she goes, slide down the pole. There she goes, slide down the pole. Okay. You know.

We can use this music too. So he told me anyway after a few vodka's. Not that he was licking anyone's pole. No.

His girlfriend was with him. Okay. So let's, two short. There she goes, slide down the pole.

All right. So now she is doing an angel thing. How about a lap dance? Yeah.

Yeah. I'd love one. She goes, slide down the pole. She goes, slide down the pole.

I will not guarantee the sexiness of my lap dance. Oh, you know. You're very sexy. You know.

You're just sexy. Your sex is built into you. Now she's dancing. Wow.

I know she's dancing because I almost got kicked. But I didn't get kicked. That was the key. But I'm stepping back a little bit now.

But, oh yeah. Look at that. Butt go round and round. There she goes.

Slide around the pole. Slide down the pole. And the pole does help the exercise. You know.

Of course. But there's something about a girl on a pole. And she is wrapped around that pole real good. Hugging it with her thighs.

Yep. Almost kicking our studio umbrella off its pole. But not quite. Oh, look at those cheeks.

And nice panties. I must say. They're sheer black bikini panties with a little lace cover. And yes.

Around she goes. Around the pole. E40 would approve. And I think Too Short would approve of this booty for a white girl.

You know. Yeah. Looks good. All that pole work gets that booty tight and shapely.

Well, now the music is playing here on her phone. But I don't know if it's playing on our... Well, yeah. Oh.

Okay. Well, hello, Mr. Mike. Yeah. Merry Christmas.

Oh, I think I'm getting my lap dance. Who cares if the music is in all different sync? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

I'm getting some good crotch shots here. Oh, and a tail shot. Yeah. Okay.

There goes the sway. Oh. And around the head. Oh, nice move around the pole.

And now down. Whoa. She's doing a lot of moves considering how tiny this studio is. Yeah.

This pole is definitely getting a workout. Yeah. And she is doing a major split here. A major split wide open.

It's amazing these panties don't like accidentally move aside and show your beaver. But they haven't. Oh, we're good. Hello, Dr. Susan.

Yes. Yes. Okay. Thank you.

Let's give a hand to our girl here. Catface. Jay Catface and her pole dancing abilities. Abilities are really remarkable.

Very good. Especially in this tiny little space. So that is fantastic. And people can look you up.

Where? Get the mic. People can find me on Facebook. On Facebook, I'm Catcatface.

Cat. A tail of two cats. Catface. And a tail of two cats is all one word.

A tail of two cats. Yes. All right. I don't know if I have time for the meaning of that.

That's another show. Two of you. Okay. Right.

So the one that's here is really nice. Okay. So, yeah. So, you know, I think it's great.

I think it's a wonderful thing for sex, for love and for exercise and for self-esteem and, you know, just for playing with a pole. Absolutely. I will tell you one more thing.

Yeah. A year ago, I would have never been able to do this. Really? A year ago?

And that's remarkable. Yeah, it's all about what it's done for me inside. But you're a dancer. I'm a dancer, but I've never been a sexual being.

It's always been, I've been very intimidated by that. Yeah. Well, you know, I think that dance is the first art form. Absolutely.

People started dancing pretty much as soon as they started walking. Walking, yes. And pretty much as soon as they started wearing clothes, they started taking them off. Sometimes in a sexy way.

Absolutely. Yeah. So, I think it's very basic and you're very skilled and you'll be great. Thank you, Dr. Susan.

Yeah, yeah. Next time you go into a radio studio with a stripper pole, you'll know what to do. Wow. So, get your breath.

I want to bring Max in because our friend of ours, a friend of the show who hasn't been in the institute and the show and his name is Smokey. He's kind of a dancer too. Actually, he is a dancer.

And he is an amazing tribute artist for the great and powerful Elvis, the pelvis. Speaking of pelvises, you know, it's all in the pelvis action. This dance stuff, except ballet maybe, not so much pelvis in ballet. Or polka, I guess.

This is not pelvis in every dance, but certainly in pole dancing and certainly in Elvis dancing. And Max was also an Elvis impersonator, so we want to get him back on. We'll see more of you, Kat, right? We will in a minute.

Do you have to run? Yeah, come back. Come back. Okay, so go tidy up or go to the ladies room.

Test, test, tea, test. No, what I'm saying is you can come if you wanted to take a break and then come back. Thank you. Okay, take a little break and then you can come back.

Okay, so Max. So, yes. So, when I was a young man many years ago, I worked in vaudeville. And one of the things that I did is I did imitations of Elvis Presley.

Yes. And I had a big head of hair at the time. Like Elvis. And I had a duck tail.

So, I would do imitations of Elvis. That's no relation to the duck dynasty. Right. And we traveled around Italy to all these little vaudeville theaters.

Yeah. Hello, Dr. Stuzzi. We got our man Smoky on the other line. Can you hear you, Smoky?

Well, wait one second. Yes, we know we have Smoky, but Max is just about to get to the climax of his story about being an Elvis impersonator. And then we'll get to Smoky. Right.

So, by the way, can Smoky hear on hold? I think he can, yes. Really? Hi, Smoky.

We're going to get to you in just a moment. And I also used to do Jerry D. Lewis. Right. Wherever they had a piano.

Great Balls of Fire. Right. That's what I used to do. Oh, yes, definitely.

Between the poles and the balls, we're happening here. Between the poles and the balls, we got it going. All right. Speaking of great balls of fire, what do we have here but that?

Well, we've got big balls and a fire candle for the winter solstice, brothers and sisters, happy winter solstice, and full moon. And it's almost Christmas if you're listening to us live. So that's why I'm your naughty Santa.

And we're going to talk to our friend Smoky. Is Smoky there now? Hey, Smoky. Welcome to Radio Suzy One.

Thank you. Good to have you. And while we've got you on the line, we're also playing some visuals from the video that you sent us that was made by some students in your hometown in Texas.

Is that right? Yes. He actually lived at the time of living in Benton, but he came up here to Smith. All right.

Well, it's a beautiful film. And we're going to show some parts of it and we're going to talk to you. Merry Christmas, by the way. Thank you very much.

Merry Christmas to you and Jade and tricks and all the people there. And happy winter solstice. Winter solstice preceded Christmas. It's been celebrated since the very beginning.

Oh, and we are now showing you, uh, shaking your hips. Yeah. And signing autographs. Oh yeah.

Having a good time with the locals. Yeah. Smoky's the man. Yeah.

Look at him and his Elvis outfit. Mm-hmm. So Smoky, what inspires you about Elvis? He's a retainer and he entertained people as good at what he did.

He always thought he was great and still do. He's one of the American music icons and he will always be one. He is. He's so American.

He was wild, but he's so wholesome in a way. He like fits in with the whole Christmas spirit. You know. Yeah.

He does. And he sang a song called Blue Christmas, didn't he? That he did. It's on release in 1957 on his Elvis's Christmas album.

It's a beautiful song. Yes. And are you going to sing that for us? I'll give it my best shot for you and Jayden Trixie.

Oh, all right. Are they there? Awesome. I think we should get them in here for this.

There you go. Also they're going to come in here for some candy because I have your candy with me. Yes, I do. Well, they all ate the candies you sent them.

But I saved yours, the one you sent me to eat on the show. So where are they? Trixie. Producers.

Hello. Where's the producer? Hello. Trixie, Jade.

Okay. Oh, Jade is coming in and, you know, that's a rare thing. But Jade looks very pretty in her red toga. What is that, a toga?

It's kind of like something Roman. Hello, sweet precious. How are you doing, Jade? Say hello on the mic.

Hi, Smokey. How are you doing? Good. How are you?

Great. I'm about you and Dr. Susan and Jade are in you and Dr. Susan and Trixie. Not getting to have Christmas with you all. This is kind of how I really feel.

We can't wait to hear it. Yeah, we can. We're so excited and we're going to eat your candy. I don't know.

Does it have any gluten in it? Jade can't eat it with gluten. But, okay. So is Trixie coming?

Yeah. No, okay. Oh, she's right in here. Okay.

So Max, are you going to give up your seat for Trixie? I'm giving up my seat. Max is giving up his seat, even though he's also an Elvis impersonator, Smokey. And here's Trixie.

Hi, Smokey. Trixie Precious is here. She's got Holly in her hair. That's cool.

And a Santa outfit on. And we have your candy. And we're going to eat it while you sing to us. Ew.

Okay. So, you know, wet that whistle and get ready to sing. Smoky. Filming wind.

Any moment now. Now is the time. Aw. I have a blue Santa wand.

That was beautiful. That was beautiful. Smokey. Let's hear it for Smokey.

As Elvis doing blue Christmas. And it actually almost looked like you were doing it. We were running the film of you singing, I'm sure, something else. We have a snack and a show.

Yeah, we have a snack and a show. And bubbles also. Lots of stuff. So, Smokey, that was lovely.

It was a little sad. You know, it didn't exactly put us in the Christmas spirit. But I guess, first, a lot of people, it is, you know, the holiday blues. Yeah.

That's right. There's, you know, holidays are supposed to be about, you know, fun. But a lot of people are separated from their loved ones. And it's cold and dark.

And it can be difficult. And you get the holiday blues. I can understand. I feel it's about 18 degrees and still about three inches here where I live.

So if y'all were here, you'd want to have some warm clothing on. Like coats. Sounds like you're turning blue. We don't have very much clothing on right now.

We're like in little, I'm in like this little bra of Mrs. Claus and some Holly. And yeah, these girls are wearing very little, these elves. That doesn't sound like a party smoky. I like to party.

No, you got to come visit us here in LA by LAX. Yeah, one of these days. And I look very forward to that. And I definitely plan on wanting to do that.

All right, darling. Well, you keep entertaining those people. It seems like they really appreciate you. And I know you do free performances for people.

And I know you give from your heart. You are, you are Santa Claus always giving entertainment to people all year around. I appreciate that. Did he sound like Elvis when he just said that?

Thank you very much. Yeah, he's got that. Thank you very much. He's got that.

There's a few times that I was like, oh, Elvis. Yeah, you almost think you are talking to Elvis here. But it is Smokey Binion. Junior.

Junior. Oh, excuse me. Junior. You're right.

Smokey Binion Junior from Texas. And people can see you perform around there? Yes, perform at a nursing home today. But the weather got real bad.

And I didn't even take a chance on getting... Oh, right. The road is really bad today. Well, I'm sure there'll be a lot of opportunities.

Those people in that nursing home aren't going anywhere. So they will see you soon. And I hear something coming up. I think we got a cut to a commercial Smokey.

Yeah, we're about to get to a commercial. But I so appreciate the chocolate, the music. It was yummy. And the love.

And again, thank you so much for giving of yourself, your heart and soul to all those people who have no other entertainment in Texas. Thank you. Bye-bye, darling.

Okay, don't come yet. Don't go away. We'll be right back. Happy winter solstice.

Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas, Smokey. I'm dreaming of a way Christmas.

Do you know that was written by a Jew? Just like that. Dr. Susan, I got a confession to make about birthdays coming up. Oh, happy birthday.

Yeah, January the 8th. I got the same birthday. Okay, we got to go. Has your sex life been hurt, warped, or excessively repressed

by a strict, religious, anti-sex upbringing? Are you concerned that an unhealthy fundamentalist or orthodox environment is distorting or destroying your sexuality, your marriage, or your life in general?

The Dr. Susan Block Institute specializes in treating addiction of religious sexual abuse. For information about our telephone sex therapy services, call 1-866-207-7521 or 213-2919497.

That's 1-866-207-7521 or 213-2919497. You won't go to hell for it, but you just might feel a lot better. Hey. Oh.

You're listening to Radio Susie One on the World Wide Web. And now, here she is, Dr. Susan Block. And I'm back. Although somehow my picture came out of...

Oh, I think it's just turned around. The camera. The camera turned around. So somebody should turn my camera back around when you get a chance.

We are back. It's winter solstice. And yes, brothers and sisters, long before there was a Christmas or a Hanukkah, there was winter solstice.

And even before Saturnalia, although Saturnalia is very old and it started in Rome. Did you know that? You're a Roman.

I did not know that. Can you turn on Max's mic? There we go. Actually, I didn't know that.

Yeah. Saturnalia, it's like a very lucky holiday. And it's a time when everything gets turned around, like the slaves become the owners

and the owners become the slaves. Okay, well, I don't like that. Oh, why? Because you are an owner.

I'm a fucking monarchist. Yeah, yeah. Well, the monarchists gave it up for one day of the year. That was the idea.

They would give it up for one day of the year that gave them the sort of grace to rule the rest of the year. Here's the thing. I was just talking to Eric about political systems.

There are only two political systems. There's the monarchy or the ruling class. And there's the anarchy who wants to overthrow the ruling class.

Once the anarchists overthrow the ruling class, they become the monarchists. And the monarchists try to overthrow them. So politics is only about overthrowing each other.

It's just throwing the head chimpanzee off the mountain. The people, once you become... Unless you're bonobos. And then everybody gets along a little bit more as you go.

There's always a head female. Well, yeah, but it's not quite so dominant. But there really is no other political system. There's the monarchists or the explorers.

Well, all right. So on Saturnalia, as well as in early Christmas, once a year, the slaves would... Or the servants would be king for a day.

They'd elect somebody to be like the Christmas king. The king of the ship of fools or something like that. The king of the fools. And then the monarchists would all allow this to happen,

which would seem like a revolution, but it actually kept the system in place. Because everyone would kind of suck it in looking forward to Christmas,

which is also how parents keep kids obeying them. We're going to give you something for Christmas. Trickle down power. Right, right.

It helps to keep people in power, in power. In place. We know when you've been bad or good. Right.

So it's like big brothers watching you. Power pretty much always corrupts. Always. Yeah, there's a new TED talk on how

just having a lot of money makes you mean. The more money you have, the meaner you are. Of course, because you want to hang on to your money. So that brings us to our friend that passed away.

You don't want any peasants getting a hold of your money. Al Goldstein. Yeah, and he died without any money, really. He did.

Pretty much. He lost his magazines. He was the publisher of Screw Magazine. And here's a religious theme we have here.

With the Last Supper. And he did have a very artistic magazine, even though the New York Times in their obituary for him really made it all like, oh, he was just the king of raunch.

And it was just all about the raunchier and the more sex the better. It really did have a lot of political cartoons. They of course say that about all the alternative papers.

They always talked about my paper as ugly or something because we were a bunch of hippies stoned on acid. Yeah, now here's a Robert Crumb piece. Oh, wow.

Isn't that nice? This is a very beautiful cover. A lot of Al's covers were very, very beautiful and wild and just nobody else was printing Robert Crumb at this time.

So, and I know you printed quite a few artists that had never been printed before. Published, that is. I have a mouthful of chocolate.

You have a mouthful of Smokey Binion's chocolate. Chocolate, right? He gave us some. What's the note?

Max move stage right, left, until guest returns. I feel fine here. It feels fine. We have Paul here.

Got a naked chick behind me. And we have a Christmas tree here. It's supposed to get lit, but it's not lit. So why keep it over here?

Let's just... I don't know. Well, okay. Never mind.

So now we have a tree in front of you. Never mind. You can put it... Actually put it in there.

I can't put it anywhere. Somebody else should put it somewhere. Then the tree, I'll be behind the tree talking. Well, we could put it somewhere.

Somebody could put it somewhere. Then I could get undressed. Could I have some help with the tree, please? The tree fell over.

Let's have some help with the tree. The tree fell over. Yeah, here is our friend Justin moving his hand in. Okay, is that where you want the tree?

Perfect. Perfect. So one of the things, Al... Al Goldstein.

Maverick publisher of Screw Magazine and our old friend just passed away at the age of 77. And Al, you know, I know you're very boisterous, but I have to correct one thing because I was reading the articles of your passing. Not Larry Flint and not you ran the first naked pictures of Jacqueline Kennedy.

Oh, Jackie Kennedy. It was us, the LA star in Los Angeles. And how we did that, Larry, you're listening to this. How we did that.

Stern Magazine in Europe ran the pictures. Their photographer took them and I was getting all these magazines from Europe and I got the magazine Stern and there she was. And so we ran the pictures.

Shortly after that, you ran the pictures. She had quite a bush, didn't she? Yeah. Big black bush.

Those were the days. Right. Foliage, brothers and sisters. Those were the bush days before George Bush.

Right. That was the good bush, Jackie's. So then you ran the pictures. It was an expensive bush by that time.

Aristotle and NASA's paid like a billion dollars for that bush. And then shortly after that, unbeknownst to my friend Larry, he bought the pictures from Stern Magazine for one million dollars. Larry.

Poor Larry. I'm sorry. He bought them. Right.

For one million dollars. Oh well. And both Al and I had run them. He was too late.

He missed out on that one. Well, because it's a magazine, so he only can come out every 90 days. Right. You guys were newspapers.

You came out every week. Correct. But you came out with it first. Okay.

Well, we set that record straight. And the other thing we have to set straight, you aren't the most prosecuted publisher because you were only prosecuted 17 times. I don't know that he said he was the most prosecuted publisher.

No, no, I know. But he was only prosecuted 17 times. Right. How many times were you prosecuted?

Actually, at the dinner table, about 23. Oh. Yeah. But at the one day.

Is that counting your most recent failure to appear? Yes. My most recent failure to appear on a case that I had won 10 years before. Yes.

They love me in LA. LA loves me. Well, now LA has, I think, made its peace with me. But it was fun when I was in prison.

I remember Christmas when you were there. Yeah. And the sheriff, that was actually in the jail, gave you some cookies. He sent cookies out.

Sheriff Baca sent cookies to the prisoners. Wasn't that nice? Yeah, that was great. But the fun part about that whole thing was that most of the sheriffs and all the gang members

had grown up watching you on television. Oh, yeah. That gave you some cred. I got better cells.

Better than street cred, cable TV cred. Right. Right. So that was kind of fun.

That was good. Yeah. And protection. Protection.

That's very important. Protection. Because it's a tough place in there. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. You know, there's a lot of polls walking around. Looking for a place to put themselves.

Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of criminals, meaning sheriffs. Oh, of course.

And beatings and all kinds of things. Criminal element. Oh. Well, actually Al did spend some time in jail.

He did. He was on Rikers Island. Right. And this is a picture of him by our mutual friend, Annie Sprinkle.

Right. And this is a picture of Al wearing the American flag, which of course is a time-honored thing for publishers to do. Wear the American flag.

Which is why Larry Flint, in one of his actually rare prosecutions, he went to jail. Whoa, this is strong. What is that? You're too wicked.

You have to drink seven. What is that? That's something she made that is in the Christmas cheer. It's some Christmas cheer.

He'll give you cheer, all right? Yeah. So Larry went to prison for contempt. Yeah.

Wasn't he diapered in the flag or something? That's correct. Okay. So Al wrapped himself up in it and got his picture taken by Annie Sprinkle, who actually

wrote a very nice obituary type piece about him and how he got her her first job in New York as a hooker. And then he reviewed her cock-sucking skills as very, very good, or excellent, I guess. So I'm not sure what that means.

I guess that's pimping. But that's cool. I mean, it seems like he's helped a lot of people. He's helped a lot of people.

He certainly helped us. He ran our ads for our therapy service and Lord knows the readers of Screw Magazine need therapy, always have. But if you guys don't know this here, and actually I was talking to John Clark about it, a lot

of people don't like Al. Besides just government people, just a lot of people don't like him, because he can be an asshole. Well, yeah.

Not as bad as me. Well, I guess that depends on your perception. Well, he's bigger, so he has a bigger asshole. Well, you know, he kind of likes to stir it up as you do.

That's correct. You know, both of you like to stir it up. See, I'm always, you know, Mrs. Claus here. Mrs. Naughty Claus, it's true.

But basically, nice, I don't know, I like to be nice. You like to stir it up, get everybody mad at us, and I have to deal with it. Hey, we did pretty good with Miley. We did.

We did, actually. We were running Miley on our Tempest Storm show, and we got censored. And I was, of course, a chicken shit, and I said, cut it out. And you pushed forward and insisted on defending it, and we won.

It was on the day that Al died. So I felt very violated, violated, like raped. I could see that. And that's why I went, all right, all right, let's just...

By Sony Pictures. Let's just stand up to YouTube, and Sony Pictures, and we said, we have a right to run this. We called their public relations program. It is journalism.

It is true. I just didn't think they'd listen. But they did. Well, I did that, or they would, you know, for the first time, I would be yelling

about Miley censoring my show, which I wouldn't like. Oh, no, that wouldn't have been fun. And maybe she realized that. Maybe Miley.

Thank you, Miley. One of the things... And now Miley's running ads on our YouTube, which is really cool. Miley is really cool.

We love her. And we kind of love you too, Sony, but, you know, hope your finances get better. And just hold on to your Sony stuff. Okay, here we're going to try this cider, Merry Christmas, one more time.

Okay, so now I'm holding a picture of Al with penjillette. This is Al in his later years, more recent. He shrunk. You know, his weight went up and down, and here it's...

He shrunk. Yeah. Well... He's given the finger.

He loves to give that finger. He always looked bigger because he was big, but he's actually a little guy. He's a little guy. Well, penjillette is a very tall guy.

He's pretty tall, yeah. And penjillette has supported Al in the last years. And so that's very nice of him. And Al, with his ads, supported us in the early years when we started the Institute.

His ads actually generated over a million dollars in advertising over the years. Yeah, yeah. In clients. Thank you, Al.

We really appreciate that. Now we tell you. Now that you're dead. No, we told you a lot, but you know, the years pass so quickly.

They really do. So, you know, pen feels that Al was like one of his big heroes. And it's funny because he, of course, is kind of got family entertainment and all that.

He's got like 12 million followers. And he was saying Al is one of my heroes. He was at Al's deathbed as Al went. And all these people going, why is Al Goldstein one of your heroes?

And I think pen was not in the mood at the time to go into that. But you know, Al is, was a great freedom fighter just like you, Max. He stood up for speech, for talking, for talking, for talking, for talking. And, and he made it so that, you know, Penn and Teller could do a show called Bullshit.

And so did you, Max. Right. Because, you know, I mean, we all take advantage of the free speech rights that the loud mouths get for us.

Right. Right. I think I'm going to become more loud mouth. Here's a sexy cover.

And speaking of pole dancing, we have a pole dancing cover here. Look at that. Yeah. Yeah.

There's some great covers to, to Screw Magazine, some very, very creative and imaginative covers. And inside, also, you know, we have a whole collection of them, but we just moved. So. Somewhere.

Somewhere. Right. So what else do we want to say to Al? Love it.

Great brunches. You know, oh, of course, I met Al through Dr. Tony Grant. That's right. Around the same time I met Ron Jeremy.

Same time. And you know, Ron's still with us. He was in fact here last week. He got here late when we were doing the show with Kay Parker.

And, and he's still going strong. Ronnie, despite his aneurysm. Oh, geez. Well, speaking of old people of, you know, the adult entertainment business and of the

whole entertainment business, there is going to be a big show in about a couple weeks called The Hollywood Show. And we are going to be there. And so is Ron Jeremy and so is Kay Parker.

And so our whole bunch of stars of different sorts, like the stars of Mash, Sally Kellerman and Elliot Gould, all these older people, you know, from television and movies. And now this show, which has been around for like 30 or 60 years, is going to have an adult wing.

And we're going to be conducting interviews in this adult wing. And you know, if you're in Los Angeles, you should come out and join us. Right? Right.

Yeah, we're going to have sort of a little setup there doing interviews. So what else is happening, Max? Bonoboville is is going, right? Bonoboville is coming out.

We filmed our first commercials last night at the Bonoboville Christmas party. I was not a part of those commercials. Well, you'll be next. And yes, it's coming, it's coming, it's coming, it's coming.

Coming, I'm coming, I'm coming. So look for it. Go to DrSusanBlock.com and there's a link there. Sign up and you can join.

And it's a very unusual place. So, you know, it's got nothing to do with Facebook. That Facebook is for your parents, for your mother and father, your grandparents. You can have your dog pictures and all that stuff.

You can have dog pictures on Bonoboville, too. The difference is what our dogs are doing. We have a dog picture on Blogamy, actually, that is your dog. That's my dog.

Right. Robert. Robert. Mmm.

So we're almost out of time. We had a pretty, you know, like a variety show tonight. Mm-hmm. You know?

From an obituary to a pole dance. And a rendition of Elvis's Blue Christmas. Mm-hmm. So our pole dancing princess is back.

And here she is. Hello, hello. Kat, let's turn up her mic. Turn up the mic.

I'm telling my crew here. Our angel of winter solstice. Or doom. Doom.

Is that really what you are? No. Not at all. I was just kidding.

Is that your fantasy? No, not at all. What is your fantasy? My life fantasy.

Or my sexual fantasy. Because the latter I really haven't given too much thought to. Okay, then tell me your life fantasy first and then we'll let you do your sexual fantasy second. I guess my life fantasy is the same as anybody else.

Wanting to be happy. Be able to make a living doing what I love, which is dance, teach. And yeah, an orgasm would be nice too. Okay, over to the sexual.

Just kind of combine the two, if you will. Have you ever had an orgasm on the stripper pole? No. Would that be dangerous?

You know, if you've got a tight enough grip with your thighs, I think it'll be okay. Yeah, think about it. And if you're low enough to the ground. I would think if you rub up against it enough, you can make it happen.

I'm pretty sure that's possible. Yeah. Yeah. Not from experience, of course.

No, but you know, I mean, love your pole. And it's rubbed with all that vodka and everything. Oh God, yeah. Right.

Love your pole. It'll love you back. You know, that's true. Poles are very loving when you give them love.

I think so. And I'm not talking about like Polish people. I'm Polish, by the way. Oh, you are.

Yes. Well, so there. That's why she's a Polish pole. That's why you like poles because you're a pole.

No. Pole cat. Oh. J cat.

Pole J cat. Pole J cat. What's that name again? Justine.

Justine. No, justine. Justine. That's the one I like.

I like that one too. It's the Justine. Yes. Baby Jesus time.

Word. What is the thing you like best about Christmas? Honestly, I used to love the holidays when I was younger. My family, all that good stuff.

Now I guess the time off. Yeah. Yeah. You know, we were reading an article about Jewish Christmas and how great it is when you're

Jewish for Christmas to come around because everybody else is busy and you get a day off. You know, you get to eat Chinese food and just relax. You don't have any obligations.

You know, so it's cool. But you grew up with a lot of elaborate Christmases. I wouldn't say they were elaborate, but they were home. It was a small group of us, my family.

We were four when we came to the country. So it was really, it was just nice. It was warm. It was cozy.

So your family came from Poland? We did. Did you have Polish Christmases? Were you born in Poland?

I was born there. Wow. Do you know that Mar speaks Polish? No.

Mar speaks... I've seen Mary Christmas in Polish. Oh, come on, Mar. Don't leave us waiting.

Time is money on here. Okay. Here we go. Here we go.

Dobry wieczór. Do you speak Polish? Yeah, I'm a bit... Srednio.

Srednio. Ask her something very sexual. Oh, God. I don't...

I don't know such words. My mother didn't teach me. My mother didn't teach me these words. Oh.

You know, I'm too bad. I know all the words. I can't speak them. I just...

There's no... What's the word for pole dance in Polish? I don't know. I don't know.

There's a lot of Polish circles around Mar. I can see that. New words. Okay, okay.

Give up your seat. Give your seat. Back to Mar. Back to Max.

Welcome. Welcome to the Polish. I hear a voice from Dr. Pani Doktorka. Voice from Dr. Pani Doktorka is Englewood, California.

On dr.susanblock.tv. Okay. Nice work. Nice work.

Bravo. Bravo. Very nice. All right.

All right. So you didn't know we were going to have that? No, I didn't. And I just noticed your penis candle.

Oh, yes. Woman, I'm so jealous. It's my pole. With balls.

On fire. Right. Great balls of fire. All right.

So, yeah. So we already sang Blue Christmas. You know, I find that, yeah. There's a lot of mixed feelings about this time of year,

and it is a dark time, which is why, you know, you try to make Mary, but death is always stalking us. This friend of ours died. It's, it's like the, you know,

Yeah, actually he died twice during the week. Yeah, that's true. At first we heard a report that he died, and then we found out that he had not actually died,

but then he actually died. Kind of got resurrected, and then he lost it. Basically it was like one of those Christmas pranks, and he was a prankster, so, yeah.

It was, the last prank was to make everybody think he was dead when he wasn't. He got a little extra media time that way. Yeah, a little extra time in the news, and in people's heads going,

was he dead? Is he not? You know, the man who cried dead. Yeah, he was a good friend. He really was a very giving, giving guy,

but wild and crazy, and really into all the hardcore, crazy wild sex you can imagine, and publishing it on the streets of New York. Yeah, and of course this man also is into all the wild, crazy sex

you can imagine, except he's published it all over the world. Right. And I published it in NewsRacks. And he's still alive.

Oh, yay. All right. Still alive, Al. What's your secret?

My secret? To being alive. A lot of smoking and drinking. Beautiful.

And being happy. I didn't, I'm chopped liver. I didn't hear any reference to a wife or anything. My beautiful wife.

Aw, I didn't pull it out of him, but still. Actually, the best gift I ever got in my life was when your mother gave you to me. And he said, take her. Hey, take her, please.

Please get her out of my hair. Yeah, she was great. I love her. She loved you because you're a lot like her,

although she did not publish sex magazines. But she was an artist. Well, she published The Sexy Girl. Yeah, she did that.

She did do that. Okay, so another Christmas, another solstice. It's a nice time to get cozy. It's a nice time to exercise because it's so cold you want to move your body.

And pole dancing, after all, is for the most part an indoor activity. And they're going to have terrible, terrible weather this, these few next few days traveling. On the East Coast?

Yes, and Midwest, yes. You look like you are gloating over that. Yes, please call us. Oh.

If you still have phone service. Please give us calls. We will be here throughout the holidays. The Dr. Susan Block Institute.

We'll be here for you. Is here taking your calls because it is kind of a tough time, the holidays. A lot of times, you know, our big dreams and plans don't, don't follow through. We're waiting anxiously here.

And we are here to talk to you. For the phone to ring. Or, of course, you get together with family and you have those fantasies, you know? You know how those fantasies go.

Tell us about your Polish aunt. There you go. How sexy she is. How her boobs are just leaning over that big ham.

And you just cannot concentrate. Or you tie in the mother-in-law with a big boob-boob-zoot. Yes. Or your sister-in-law.

Come confess if you're Catholic. Oh, yeah. Whatever your denomination. Or if you're not Christian and you have nothing to do because it's Christmas,

well, give us a call. And our number is 310-568-0066. Tell it again. 310-568-0066.

And as I said before, we're anxious to hear from you. We're having our own Christmas panic attack. Oh, boy. Dr. Sussie, would you like to take a stab at it?

A stab? A hole. Oh, my. Come on.

I'll walk you through it. Two minutes. I have more than two minutes, actually. No, you have two minutes.

Is that, say, 51? 1151? Actually, I'm totally not dressed for it, you know? Undressed or dressed, I'm going to teach you some of the basic hip stuff.

Oh, okay. Hip stuff. I can do hip stuff. Okay, here I go.

Up onto the pole here. All right, we got two minutes left to closing. Okay. Get my booty away from the pole.

This is all about the leadership. Yeah, bend your knees and my knees. Okay. I can't hear you, though.

Okay. Is it all right? No, now you're on. Oh, no, I'm on.

Okay, I can hear you when you're talking. Okay, so bend your knees. Yeah. Side, side, to side.

Side. It's good. There. It's good.

Now, circle. Yeah. Bend your knees. Bend.

You'll be able to go around more. Nice. There you go. There I go.

Now straighten your legs. Stick your booty out. Keep your legs straight as you go. Side.

Okay. Yeah. Back. Uh-huh.

But I've got this big thing on me. So that's why I'm not quite stressed. Oh, whoops, the other side. Beautiful.

Yes. Okay. Next. There you go.

Yeah, but I think we've got to wind up the show. So, all right. Wind it up. As you slide down the pole.

Yes. So, brothers and sisters, I want you to have a very merry winter solstice and Christmas and Kwanza. Is Kwanza yet?

Kwanza's after Christmas. Oh, afterwards. Well, okay. Well, Kwanza will start before we come back for the new year.

And, you know, learn to pole dance. Give our girl Catface a call. You can find her on Facebook, right? Yes.

And cat. Catface. Cat. Catface.

Easy. With a C or with a K? It's with a K. K-A-T.

Catface. K-A-T. Face. F-A-C-E.

So, thank you, Cat. Thank you. And thank you, Al, once again. And thank you, Jesus.

Where's my baby Jesus? Thank you, Jesus. Yeah. Thank you, Jesus.

Where has this been? Hallelujah. Outside. You can talk to us.

I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves. But my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy over the phone.

Anytime you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination, my world-renowned telephone sex therapists

are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you, role play for you, fantasize with you,

no fantasy is too taboo, and help you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. For more information, call us at 213-291-9497.

That's 213-291-9497 anytime you need to talk. You're listening to Radio Suzy One on the World Wide Web.