Retro Pierced Burlesque

Full transcript of Retro Pierced Burlesque on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Guards and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy over the phones. Anytime you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination, my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential.

We listen, talk with you, advise you, role play for you, fantasize with you, no fantasy is too taboo, and help you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. For more information, call us at 213-291-9497.

That's 213-291-9497 anytime you need to talk. You're listening to Radio Susie One on the World Wide Web, and now, here she is, Dr. Susan Block. Brothers and sisters, lovers, sinners, artists and exhibitionists, voyeurs and connoisseurs, dancers and romancers, ladies and gents, and haters.

Don't we love our haters? They teach us so many lessons, brothers and sisters. Yeah, so we include our haters, because lovers, haters, friends, family, fantasy people, we are all children of sex with a capital X.

Can I hear an amen? Amen! Can I hear an A-women? A-women!

I want to welcome you to Dr. Susie Speakeasy in the Soul of Downtown LA. This is the womb room, where it's warm inside, and we can speak easy about things which are not so easy to speak about, like sex, and like hate, and like love. Mmm, it's been a rough week full of betrayal, and I don't have to go into the personal details,

although Max might. But for now, let me just say, well, you've been betrayed, haven't you? So you know what it's like. No matter how much you pull yourself up above the low, down, dirty level of the betrayer,

it's still sad to be betrayed. But, you know, that's part of life, and love, and hate, and sex, and fetish. Mmm, so I'm looking forward to tonight's show. A little light entertainment, a little tease to please my betrayed soul.

I need a little tease. Everyone needs a little tease every once in a while, right? Men need to be teased, because it makes you slow down, and women need to be teased, because it makes us come around in the art and science of tease.

Teaserama. Mmm, my guests tonight are practitioners of the art of the tease, in terms of burlesque, fetish, dance, and, well, we'll find out. That's part of the tease, you know?

A little suspense. With a tease, you never know. Nothing's guaranteed with a tease. Mmm, that's right, but you can't count on it either.

You gotta remember, the best laid plans may not get you laid the way you planned. You gotta go with the flow a little. Even with the flow of betrayal. Yeah, because it doesn't kill you, you know?

I mean, tease is dangerous, it could kill you. So could betrayal. But without the possibility of that kind of danger, life and sex and entertainment gets a little boring, doesn't it?

Who knows what's gonna happen tonight? I have some exciting guests in my womb room from retro to nouveau. Really, I've got a range of styles, all kind of burlesque and fetishy and teaseramae.

So, let's see, I'm gonna start with the sister act here, because that's also incestuous to some people's minds. Let's just get that right out of the way. We have the can-to sisters, and, well, if you're watching,

I'm sure you're fantasizing already. You guys, you gals look fantastic. Well, thank you. Thanks.

Red, white, and black. Yes, you are a sister act. Well, team. Very much.

Okay. Well, explain. You're Mindy, Mindy. Yes.

Mindy and Red. And I'll get it here. Desiree, you've got a long one. Desiree, can-to-yost.

You must have gotten married or something. I am married. I am. Oh, okay.

The plot thickens. Why tease me, ladies. So, you're dancers? Well, not exactly.

I am a dancer, but what we do is we develop together a pin-up and fetish site with a touch of burlesque. Ah, so you're fetishists? Yes.

Any particular fetish that you really like? Well, we do everything, pretty much, you name it. If it's out there, we touch on it. We do wham, we do form fetish, you know, corsets, stockings,

stilettos, girdles, pasties, no pasties, and, you know, we do foot fetish. What is no pasties? Well, we're talking about, yeah,

we're talking about T&A, but some people really like pasties. Well, some do. It's amazing. There's a fetish for everything.

Yeah, exactly. So, if it's out there, we definitely touch on it, you know. We do food. We do stuff for luners.

We do stuff for, you know, we really try to please our audiences as much as we can. I was going to say you must have a fetish for teasing and pleasing.

Well, that's actually our motto. We're here to tease and please. There you go. It's actually our catchphrase.

Because otherwise, you're, like, doing all the fetishes, or a lot of them, as many as don't discuss you utterly, right? Right. I mean, we are the classier, softer side.

It's definitely, we come from the teaser dramas that you were talking about earlier. Betty Page's inspiration. Yeah, that is her inspiration, absolutely.

I mean, we have Molly St. Cyr. She was a guest on my show in 1996. I'm jealous. Wow.

I'm really jealous, actually. She was a real tease. She wouldn't show her body, because she wanted everyone to think of her

as when she was, you know, the young hot Betty Page. So she talked on the phone with us, and her handler said she would only talk for five minutes. And she teased us, but she pleased us

because she ended up talking for an hour and a half. Oh, wow. So she was great. Wow.

But anyway, she's like one of the original teases, right? So, and you're very retro in your look right now. Yeah. Yeah.

It's definitely a style that we love, and that we appreciate. I mean, there's something that is so sexual and so classy about the 1940s, 50s vintage era.

I mean, it is sex. It's something that we really do appreciate. I think there's something... I kind of think being a sex therapist

at every era is sex. There's always sex coming through somehow, but sometimes it's more blatant, and sometimes it's more teasing.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely.

Okay. So now, you are both a team in the sense you're entrepreneurs, entrepreneur-ets.

And are you a model as well? No. No. We're behind the scenes.

Everything that we do... You don't model. We don't. No.

No. We hire, we shoot. At least not yet. I was going to say, why not?

Oh, go ahead. Well, oh, well, you'd like to hear the compliment, of course. Yes.

Well... I'm just curious. I mean, first of all, you're very beautiful young ladies,

and second of all, as you must know, it's not like there's a certain kind of beauty anymore. I mean, the internet's made every kind of beauty... Right.

...marketable. Right. So, go for it. But then, you know, soon they're going to be asking you

to do things together, your fans. Well, I love her. It won't be the first. It won't be the first time.

Yeah. I mean, we dove into this really. I mean, to keep on the back scene, like, behind the scenes for now,

who knows what's going to happen. But, you know, for now, I mean, we shoot everything. We come up with the ideas.

How long have you been doing this? We started about a year and a half ago. We started shooting... You just started.

Yeah. Yeah, we started shooting a year ago. We just launched... So, what did you do before?

Two months ago. Well, I am a bartender. Okay. And I'm also a dancer.

Okay. What kind of dancer? I perform in a... It's called The Toledo Show.

It's a film noir, soul, femme fatale, cabaret. That's Tasia's friend. Yes. She performs in that too.

Yes. Tasia's our new producer just in case you don't know. Yeah. Tasia's suitor sitting right there

in the black and white tuxedo corset. It's amazing. Yeah. So, you're a dancer in this show.

Yeah. Right? And now you started this. And soon you're going to integrate it all, I think.

Absolutely. Because life is too short to live it too compartmentalized. So, I mean, you should do some dances on your website. Don't you think?

Me, myself? Yeah. Me, myself. She should.

And some fetish garb, some fetishy dance. It's definitely something that has not been excluded. It's just out of the gate. We've been working so hard to create this.

And what about you? Well, I'm actually a stay-at-home mom. Really? Yeah.

Wow. And you decided you needed to do something different. Most definitely. And lucrative possibly so that the husband wouldn't say,

why are you doing that stuff? Oh, no, he loves it. Oh, well. He loves it.

Okay. What is there not to love? Well, I don't know. Sometimes people get jealous.

No, he loves it. Oh, okay. So, I like... He's one of our bigger supporters.

Yeah. You know, one minute I'm dropping the kids off, you know, at school. And I'm going to work. What does he love about it?

He just loves the idea that we're doing something together. Ooh. And... Do you think he fantasizes about the two of you?

You know, he very well might. He might. I say he does. If you say he might, I say he does.

Can we get him to call in? You know, maybe. For sure. The ratings go through the roof.

For sure. For sure. Give us a call. Okay.

Let me give out the number. It's 1-866-289-7068. You can call that anywhere in North America. Is he listening now?

I would hope so. I would hope so. I would hope so. Hope he's not just doing some...

Taking care of the kids now. Behind your back. Right. Okay.

1-866-289-7068. And that includes... What's your hubby's name? Dwayne.

Dwayne. Is he cute? He is. What do you think of your brother-in-law?

That's an awkward question. Why now? But you're a businesswoman. I'm sure you can answer that.

He wants to know. No, he's a very good-looking guy. He's that tattooed surfer, all-American. I mean, that's not to love, right?

Right. Well, tell him to give us a call. Okay. So you brought a friend who's not a sister, right?

No. She's not related. Are you a cousin? Mm-mm.

She's one of our models. She's one of our newest models on our site. Yes. This is Miss Lucy Love.

Lucy Love. I love that. Thanks. Yeah.

She thought of it. Well, Lucy Love. She's one of our dolls. And this is actually her premiere, actually.

And she's going to do a little fun strip tease. Oh, a fun strip tease? Yeah. And are you going to do that on the stripper pole poker table

that we've got right before you? Or you could do it on the bed, if you like. I can do it anywhere. Anywhere.

Well, you can just prance around the whole room now. Awesome. You know, I mean, just as long as you tease so our cameras can follow you.

I do have a prop, though. You have a prop? Yes. It's a pie.

A pie? Oh, that, yes. We were hearing about a whipped cream dance. So this involves, I was thinking a can, but this involves a pie.

How much more organic can you get? That's very exciting. Okay. Well, I'm very excited about that.

Where is the pie right now? It's right here. Oh, it's right here. Let me see.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's awesome. Oh, look at this pie.

I think we should just leave it on the table. So, you know, that's a tease. We'll know that there's going to be something. Teasing me.

I bet it is. Because I know we'll have it. We're going to have it. But not yet.

I'm not sure whether we're going to eat it or have it on parts of our body or you're going to put it. Well, I don't know where it's going to go. All of the above.

But it's a tease. Right. Okay. Well, you also look very cute and retro.

Very, very cute and retro. Wow. They have an awesome wardrobe. It's totally great.

Uh-huh, uh-huh. And so you're a model on this Dolls and Dames website that's for fetishes. And you are for the whipped cream retro fetish right now.

Right now? Yeah. Or you're for any fetish. You're also a tease-to-please kind of person.

I'm a theater major. We're down for whatever right now. There you go. Artists and exhibitionists, lawyers and clients.

There's the artists and exhibitionists, you know. I mean, you're down for... I mean, I don't know if it really turns you on. I mean, does it get you wet to do a successful fetish shoot?

We'll find out. With your boyfriend or your girlfriend or your vibrator? We can always use Mark Seitman in that department. Oh, you should go to the Pleasure Chest.

We were just there. Okay. Amina and Aphrodisiac are here. We're going to try to get a little word in there.

We were at the Pleasure Chest for their 40th anniversary. Have you ever been there? Mm-hmm. It's a fantastic place.

And it's got all the toys at reasonable prices. And it's the 40th anniversary. So we had a good time. We had a great time in the big black Obama bus with a strip of foam.

Yeah, we took Obama's old bus there. Yeah, we did. Mm-hmm. So anyways, oh, we're going to get to this pie very soon.

I want to introduce my other guests. But believe me, the pie is now a central character in the cast. My mouth is watering. Yeah, I mean, we don't mind if you drool.

You know, just not actually on the microphone in the short circuit. Okay. All right. So now, moving right along, we have House of Virtue co-director Mr. Billy Antiseptic.

Hi. Also known as Billy Baham. Baham? Baham.

Or antiseptic sounds easier. Would you rather be antiseptic or? That works. Yeah, baham, baham.

Yeah, you go by different names. You're a man of many teasing mysteries and masks. Avoiding the stalkers. Right.

You know, I should do that really because the betrayers become stalkers sometimes. Right. Okay. Okay.

So you are a fetish performer, owner, fashionista. Something like that, yeah. Designer. Okay.

And here comes the explainer. And this would be, I don't know, better half or just partner? Most of the time. Definitely better.

Okay. Marlo Marquise. Hello. Hi.

Okay. From retro to nouveau. And you are just very nouveau in your leather. My antiseptic designs.

Antiseptic design. It's very elegant and modern and futurist. Very uncomfortable. Aww.

We just thought you were so comfortable. It's hard leather. Mmm. Very constricted here.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I feel bad. But it's beautiful.

Well, I guess you should model it soon. But I want to know a little bit more about you before we get into the modeling. You are, this is House of Virtue is your new project, right? It's a production company.

We do nightlife events. More for the underground fetish alternative scene. But we're also opening a studio for every kind of person. For private parties or photos, anything.

And you're kind of burlesque yourself. I'm a burlesque and sideshow performer and fetish model. Aha. Okay.

And some of your modeling isn't quite so futuristic. Some of it's retro too. Yeah. I'm kind of a mix of modern and retro together.

And I kind of take what these ladies do with Betty Page style and bring it into the more fetishy modern style. Aha. And are you a dom or a sub?

I'm neither. I'm very involved in the scene, but I don't work as a dom or I'm not very submissive at all either. No, I noticed that with your antiseptic friend.

Okay. So you're another tease to please kind of person? Right. I think that's the theme tonight.

And not really dominant or submissive. And yet it's very much a part of the fetish scene. This teasing to please. And it's a living.

And it's a recession. And there's a lot more people in this business, right? You know that. Your husband knows that.

Right. Because, and next week I'm going to have some guests on a show called Hollywood Sex Wars. Actually, it's a movie that they just made, Hollywood Sex Wars.

And the slogan is men want to get laid, women want to get paid. Right. So I think that's part of the tease sometimes, you know, because if you give it all away, then what's to pay?

So, yep, yep. The business women are nodding. Oh yeah. Right.

Little Miss Pie in the face here doesn't want to register about that. No. Where are you from originally? I'm from Northern California.

Ah, you're a free spirit. A little bit. Yeah. I was when I was there.

I climbed up to the top of the Golden Gate Bridge. Wow. That's so cool. And that ain't no tease.

But you are a climber of poles. That's far up. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I think I want to get a little bit visual. I want to see what people are wearing. Everybody's wearing these interesting outfits. Should we have a little modeling before we have the pie?

I think a little modeling. I think maybe a walk up on the stage. I think since we started with talking with the sisters here and I feel pulled into the marquees' vortex.

That's a good description. I'd like to see you model just before you just make him tear off that amazing outfit. You know, so maybe Billy can narrate as you.

Do you want me to come up? Yeah, just kind of walk up here. And don't step in the pie. But you know, if you want to walk up there, you could do that.

Actually, I'm not going to need this. It's not a towel show. You have the same towels as me. You have the American flag towel?

You have to buy them. Yeah. Oh yeah. They're for the squirting.

I just don't know if we're going to have some. Look at this now. Yes. Look at this outfit.

This is really, really a sculpture. Let's get those cameras over here, folks. Yeah, it's definitely a sculpture. So describe this, Billy.

What are we looking at here? This is my leth corset. It's named after one of the rivers of the underworld of Hades. The rivers of the underworld of Hades.

What is it called? A name of leth. Leth. I've been naming everything after just different mythologies.

I thought I knew my Greek mythology. I didn't remember leth. But I believe you. It sounds right.

Okay. So it's one of the rivers of Hades. This is my favorite one. Is she your Persephone?

Oh, I was talking about her. The corset's also my favorite. Oh. Yeah.

Yeah. It's all heavy leather. We don't use boning. It supports itself.

Oh, it's very heavy and stiff. Yeah, it's intentionally painful. Uh-huh. Do we have the microphone?

You could grab that microphone, please. Yeah, let's just give her the microphone. I can tell. She's panting to talk.

Oh, I just want you to touch me. Oh, yes. Look at this waist, first of all. It's like armor.

She's about a 17, 17 and a half right now. People can see how tiny you are and how large I look, which is amazing because I'm really kind of tiny. Mara, get real close to that to bring the camera real tight.

Look at this tininess. All the camera people. Yes. Okay, and now turn around slowly in my hands.

Yes. Oh, yes. The cool thing is that they're basically indestructible, too. Oh, wow.

I'm just feeling this. Great. Great. Doesn't that feel good?

This is satin, but it blends. I mean, the leather's stiff, and then I went, no, that's not, but it was a softer leather at first, but it's really a great ass, anyway.

So nice little studs here and buckles, and then this is just a bra's on top, and then this thing. This is the uncomfortable part, or this? It's all uncomfortable in a pleasant way.

Do you have a fetish for being uncomfortable if it makes you beautiful? I have, I'm kind of an aesthetic fetishist, so I like heels, I like corsets.

There's a fine line between being uncomfortable and pleasurable. Well, you know, I mean, if you have a fetish for something, I mean, that's the old definition of the word, is that you need it to become aroused.

So do you think you need to feel, you know, confined? It's about empowerment, I feel like. You know, this is like armor, so kind of heading into battle tonight.

Oh, wow, who are you battling with? I don't know. Wow, so it's heading into battle, okay. So it's a way when you're trying to exude a lot of sex

to also protect yourself. Yeah, I mean, any woman who throws on a pair of heels immediately I think feels better about herself, stronger, more empowered.

Yeah, heels, even though they're uncomfortable. Yeah, this is just kind of a couple of steps above that. Yeah, and tiny, what is the size of your waist? Right now it's probably at a 19 or 18, this is a 17 inch corset.

So naturally it's like 22. And do you do fetish activities in your sexual life with Mr. Antiseptic? Yes. We like to wear these during certain situations.

You wear them while you're making love? Being intimate, yes, sometimes. Can I say fucking? Yeah, sure, you can.

I probably could too, but that's only after the Agua. Yeah, go ahead. You wear these things when you're fucking having sex, okay. He said it first.

Such a gentleman. Yeah, and let me ask you, I mean, does that make the orgasm stronger because it holds down your solar plexus or what? I think it's more of the pleasure versus pain kind of thing.

Yeah. It gets a little intense, but it gives him something. Do you get a cramp in your waist? No.

It makes for something good for him to hold on to. Well, I would think your waist would also be good to hold on to. That too, yeah. That's nice, it's a variety.

I mean, I guess you don't always do it with the corset. No. You sometimes have a quickie, right? A quickie, I don't know if that exists, but...

No quickie? Yeah, I don't know. Do you want a comment on that? A comment.

Are you wearing a corset too, Billy? No, I'm slouching comfortably and drinking whiskey. Uh-huh, okay. All right, good.

Loosen your tie, you know, get comfortable. All right. And I heard you were going to do a piercing? Yes, we brought our little medical kit right there.

Ah, very antiseptic of you. We just had an event last night that was called Disco Blood Bath. So we did live blood vodka shots where we draw people's blood and put it in their shot and they drink it.

So we, like, blood play a little bit. Wow. Well, okay. There were registered nurses on site the entire evening.

True. Really, really. Well, we don't have one here, I don't think. No.

This is just piercing. So we're not going to do that. No, it's just piercing. Right, right.

Good, good. I'm glad you clarified that. Okay, I mean, I'm all for people doing whatever, you know, turns them on consensual.

We won't make a mess. Yeah, it's a little messy. But, you know, that just shows how deep into this you are. We have tomato juice.

That you had this event with the registered nurses and everything. You're very, very committed to this, to this world. They were actually guests. They were drunk.

They didn't participate. But they were a nurse. Yeah. Well, okay.

The nurse was too drunk. They were too drunk. Okay, but they were there just in case. And they could sober up in a flash.

They're used to that. I hope. Sounds good. You know.

We have injections for that. All right. Wow. That's why they call it the house of virtue.

Mm-hmm. It'll play on where it's there. Mm-hmm. We are sarcastic motherfuckers.

Ah. So you drew blood and you made... Drank it. Bloody Mary's Adam?

Mixed it with vodka? Yeah. It's usually called a vampire shot or something. Mm-hmm.

We were looking this up, apparently, in, like, Transylvania or something. They sell people's blood back to them. That's illegal.

So what percentage blood to vodka? Just wondering. One CC to a shot. A shot.

Don't try this at home. No. We had a couple basically get married. They, like, signed a form and they drank each other's blood

with vodka. Right on stage. They're actually getting married now. So, but I kind of feel like we married them.

Oh, yeah. They were really nice. It was touching. That is very touching.

Awesome blood. All right. I guess the Russians have vodka with a pickle. Yeah.

Kind of tastes similar. Blood is a little salty, I guess. I mean... Yeah, pickles are salty.

A little coppery. Not my Bloody Mary, but... Anyway, this is what you're into. Wow.

Is this a fetish for you? Or just... You like just being edgy and it's certainly edgy. I don't think it's about being edgy.

It's just what came naturally to us as a couple. It's just like a hobby. Not a fetish. You don't need it.

I mean, there's usually sex involved. Not with the random strangers in our house last night. But, yeah, privately, we like to play in each other's blood. Was last night an orgy of blood?

I mean... Pretty much. We weren't expecting it, but random people got a little too excited. We have disinfectant cleaning now.

But it's very interesting because a lot of the people who got their blood drawn, you know... So... Really, yeah.

It's good to see. So are you a bit of a vampire? I wouldn't say that. No.

No. Would you like to drink the blood? I think it's more blood is probably the most personal thing you could do with someone. Very personal.

So... Yeah. Okay. Sharing blood.

I mean, I guess sharing any body fluid is personal. Okay. Okay. Well, it's very educational.

I mean, I'm always interested in hearing about rights of sex and eroticism in the new age. So great. Well, we're looking forward to the piercing. I would say you can relax and sit in your seat, but I have the feeling it's easier to

stand in that thing. But then, again... That gives me good posture. Okay.

Well, then you can sit down. Okay. And our next performer would be the lovely Lucy Love. What a lovely name.

Lucy Love. Of the... Yes, of the dolls and dames. You can grab a microphone.

Yeah. Dotnet. There's a dot com. Oh, screw them.

Yeah. Okay. So Lucy, look at you. You've got your little leaderhosen on, it looks like.

You look like you're ready to sing for Hitler. I'm Jewish. Right. You're right.

You're Shana Toba. Thanks. Good, Yantiff. And Happy New Year.

Thank you. I mean, it does. This looks like some little 1940s Germanic fraw line right here. Yeah.

Well, I'm German too. So weird. Like Eva Braun, you know, look alike. And Hitler loved little girls.

Oh. Well, yeah, that's the whole other thing. You're not a little girl though. More little boys.

But she is dressed like one. Yeah. Sort of dressed in a little shorts and... Well, you haven't seen what's under...

No. I'm willing to see various things. I'm just getting an appreciation for what's on top here. And it's very, very teasing.

I'm pleasing at the same time. Thank you. Okay. So, now what do we do?

Well. You're in charge. I'm ready. I mean, you're going to do something, right?

Yes, I can. You're going to strip tease? Yes, ma'am. Okay.

You're on. You were taught to bring some music and you got it. Okay. Oh, you brought music?

Well, let's get that music off. Yeah, he has it. Okay. Should we have the pie on the pole or should we move that?

That's perfect. That's perfect. This is like, let me add it. I just want the pie.

You know, staring at me. That is an actual fetish. From kinky eddies here, ring for sex, right? What flavor is that pie again?

Key and lime. Yummy flavor. All right. So, we're going to have some music for Lucy.

Music, maestro's. Thousand James. That was delicious. Yummy, yummy.

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Very burlesque and now you're all messy.

Should we get a warm, wet towel for our guest? How about a warm, wet towel? Or would someone like to lick this off? I'd like a warm, wet towel.

If you would like anyone to lick it off, you know, would that be okay if someone licked it off? Wait, wait, wait. Get a microphone.

Get the microphone. We need to get your consent. Okay. Lick it.

Okay. If there was a time and place, it's here now. I think so. I think so.

Okay. So, who would like to have a lick of this delicious pie? Anybody like that? Teja?

Okay. Come on up here. Would you like a lick over here? Aphrodisiac?

Would you like a lick? Amina? Charlie? A lick upon?

It's just a lick. Okay. All right. There we go.

A little licking. I'll have a lick. Mmm. Here we go.

Okay. Come in close. We're licking the guest. See, women are always bigger perverts than men.

Okay. Good chance. Have a lick. Have a lick.

Totally key lime. Key lime. Very good. Mmm.

If I had to guess what was happening tonight, this wasn't what I thought of. But you know what? It's a good thing. Yeah.

Well, it helps. I mean, not a lot, but, you know, it's got you a little bit cleaned up there. Just go to your happy place. And now appreciate it.

Do we have the... Oh, okay. That's a little extra. Finish the job, girl.

That's why Teja likes working here. Yeah. She's a natural for this job. Okay.

And is that wet, the towel? No. We need a wet towel. It's all right.

I'll get a wet. Yeah. You get a wet? Yeah.

Oh, thank you. Yeah. A little warm. I'm afraid I'm going to get your microphone.

Oh, we have pudgies. Actually from the porn stars. Yes. This is good.

This is actually good stuff. I don't know. Everyone should always have white bees next to their bed. White bees.

You're a mom. You know about this. I know. I know.

Definitely. Wipe away the blood. Are wipes a fetish too? Blood.

Any other kind of liquid? It should be a fetish. Baby wipes. Yeah.

These happen to be pudgies. Maybe we can get them to do product placement now. Pudgies. What are the best ones?

Baby wipes before and after conception. You don't need to use one so much. Come on. They're cheap.

Yeah. Very good. Okay. Yes.

That was hot, Lucy. That was very hot. Very hot. Very hot.

Very hot. We love that. Our newest doll. She's the newest doll.

Our newest doll. That's actually the first thing I've ever done. Yeah, this is her debut. And I think she passed.

Totally. So this was the first time you've seen her perform? On this level for sure. You're using my show as a guinea pig.

No. No. No. No.

We met with her fryer. No, that's okay. I don't actually mind if you do. Susan, you got to fix your microphone.

I can't hear you. Okay. Well, that was because I was eating with a cream. Very serious about my pie eating.

Glad we can supply dessert. Okay. Yeah. Well, you stay up here for a minute.

I also want to say hello to director Kanan Brumling, who's sitting in our audience. Well, first of all, before that, I just want to also thank Harriet's Pies.

Oh. Cheesecakes. Harriet. Oh, right.

Harriet's Cheesecakes. Yeah. They always bring cheesecakes. Quite a bit.

Yeah, all the time. We should try this. Here and we don't have them tonight. How do we get in touch with these people?

Yeah. They're in Inglewood. It's Harriet's. Harriet's Pies.

Cheesecakes or pies. Something like that. You can look them up on the internet. They make the best cheesecake.

Very, very thick. Are you throwing something at me? What is that? No.

Pudgies. No, no, no. I'm just putting them away. I don't know if they deserve that much product placement

to just sit on the bed for the rest of the show. They've not paid us. You, on the other hand, can sit on the bed. I'm honored.

Yeah, except the pudgies should go somewhere. So let's see. We can just toss them under there and see if somebody cleans that up.

So Irwin, could you get up for a second so I can say hi to Kanan? Kanan, come on up here. Kanan Brumley.

Yay. Chris Susie. Filmmaker, award-winning independent filmmaker. Let me hear you, Kanan, a second.

Hello, Dr. Susan. Keep talking. Your voice is very low. It's very stern.

Your voice is very low. Go ahead. It sounds like you've been smoking a lot of cigarettes. No, just for tonight.

Oh, okay. Is that your teasing voice? That's my tease voice. Yeah.

Hello, Dr. Susan. Yes. Kind of like Barry White. Yes, he's got a teasing voice, doesn't he?

Mm-hmm. So what did you think of our pie act here? Brilliant. Yes, it did take a lot of mental sort of planning there.

You kind of just have to let yourself have fun. Yeah. You know, I feel like if things are really rehearsed, they're not from your heart, you know?

Oh, you'd never rehearsed that. No. Really? That was the first time you stuck pie on your tip.

It sounds like the show. Yeah, you didn't actually put the pie on before. See, I think you should put a little more pie on next time. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. In fact, I think we might... No, no, no.

We'll do that on the website for sure. I think we should make the pie into pasties. And then have somebody lick them off. All right.

Pying is a real fetish. It is. That's true. We had a guy named Pie Man on here who had a lineup of beautiful women

just shoving pies in his face and he was in heaven. They got a lot of pie shoving on our website. Yes, they do. I like the way you...

All angles for sure. You go your tips when you say that. Yes. Yes, we do.

All right. Very good. Is that technically different from sploshing, or do you have like, is there a gray area?

Sploshing. Sploshing is different from pieing. Sploshing is definitely... Because it's specifically pieing in the face.

Yes, pie is an integrated unit of pie. It's got to be in a pie pan. Mm-hmm. You know, and that's part of it.

The sploshing takes place just in this room of splosh and everybody just kind of floats around in it, right? You ever go sploshing? No.

You would love it, I think, yeah. All right. I knew it. I don't know about the sisters here.

Maybe. If your husband went along. For the ones that come up with it. Yeah.

Got to be naked. You ever go sploshing, Canaan? Never. No.

It's the first time I've heard of sploshing. Yeah, the clowns introduced me to sploshing, the porn clown posse. That's a good introduction.

Yeah. That's the best introduction. Right. Right.

So, how's the movie coming, Canaan? It's coming. It's coming. It's coming.

It's coming. Canaan is editing this masterpiece of a movie about The Speak Easy. It's coming soon to a theater near you. And if you're at all interested in getting information about this movie

or maybe helping support this movie, which is sure to be a masterpiece because his last movie was a masterpiece, right? Ears Open Eyeballs Click, winner of all kinds of awards,

including the top 10 films of the year, according to... Actually, top 10 film of the decade, according to Toronto's Hot Docs, which is the mecca for documentary films.

There you go. Melania. Top 10 films of the decade. Ears Open Eyeballs Click, which is a film about marine boot camp.

So, really, it was a natural segue to go from boot camp to The Speak Easy, right? Something about that makes perfect sense. So, we've got to get this movie made, and we're working on it.

Okay, so we'd like to see what you're wearing now. Would you like to model one at a time or do a sister act? Not for me. Do a sister act.

For sure. Do a sister act. Okay, so while you do a sister act, maybe you guys want to come up here and say hello?

Hello? Guys. Gals. Buddies.

Over here. Over here. Say hello in the microphones. We can chat for just a moment about our modelist experience.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. But first, we're just going to be critics in... You know, yeah, critics in the fashion show.

This is a sister act here, and we happen to also have a topless critic here, sitting with me. The best critic.

Absolutely. Absolutely. And here we go, the Cantu sisters. Yes, starting with Mindy Cantu in her red dress,

and Desiree Cantu-Yost in her black and white polka dots. I mean, you look like you're going to do an act. I mean, do you sing, dance, anything? I mean, tell jokes?

Give them the microphone. Give them the microphone. Strip. You know, Brian is cussed to the chase.

That is really what they want, is stripping. I would settle for juggling or something. They're busy. Well, well, well, well.

There's still a full pie. Yeah, there's some pie. Right. Are those bloody page dresses?

There's plenty of page dresses. You know, like I said before, we're totally behind the scenes on this. I do dance.

I love to dance. You dance? Okay. I do.

And you could keep time? No. No. We haven't known in Vegas to be the dancing queens, but.

Oh. So, do you have some music or anything? You can just, can you sing? Didn't I hear you sing?

No. No. Okay. Yeah.

You had a link to somebody singing that was a little bit like me. Yeah. We're behind the scenes, and we create all of the fetish scenes. But this is the scene.

You're no longer behind the scene right now. So, you know, take it away. Sister act. I don't know.

I mean, you're usually behind the scenes, but right now is your moment. I don't know. If my husband calls and tells me it's okay. I'm like.

Oh, well, let's. Let's get this husband on the phone. Yeah. Let's get the husband on.

What's his number? Can we call him? So, I don't know if it's going to happen tonight, but we're not saying that it's not going to happen.

You know, we might be on our website eventually, but right now, and we have. We're just trying to put you on the spot. And that's what we're doing. Sure.

We like to put you on the spot. Again, it's about the T's. Yeah. We might, we might eventually get there.

Well, yeah. I mean, I don't. Bring out the Iowa. I think so.

Something. So you're a bartender, right? Yes. All right.

Well, we have some bartending for you right now. Since I, you know, I mean, it's a radio show. It's excellent. We do some talking.

We do some talking here, but we also, you know, we, we're an action show. Isn't that right, Amina? Yes. Lots and lots of hot action all night long into the early morning.

Could you say that again, please? Yes. All night long. Lots of hot action into the early morning, Max.

Right, right. Thank you. And I mean, we're actually behind the scenes people too, you know, Max and me. Aren't we behind the scenes people?

Yeah. Me and my belly. You stay behind. But, but, but right now this is a scene.

So this is your time to, to do, to do some bartending. Okay. And, and so you want me to hold the mic or you can hold the mic. You hold the mic.

That's a good idea. Okay. And, and you, you know, you go right over here. See, see that?

Agua there. There's an Agua bottle. Right there. The green bottle.

And you can pour a little shot glasses for people. Mm. From this? Yeah.

From that. That's, that's our Agua right there. You're probably going to get a tip for this. Yeah.

Oh, you could. Very easily. This is a very important part of the show. This is Agua.

The Agua drinking ritual. Yeah. Yes. And yeah, I would say pour a few of those.

Anybody not drinking tonight? No. Okay. So, so we probably don't have enough.

We probably need a few more. Okay. So now, now we are going to hand some of these out. Okay.

I think we should start actually with some experienced Agua. Yes. Sippers here. And that would be Charlie.

Hello Charlie Ninja. Hi. This is your first time on my show. Yes.

This is your first appearance on the show. You were, you were so sexy on that bus last night. Oh my God. I'm telling you.

It was actually Thursday night, but it seems like. That bus, that bus was shaken. Too much Agua. I can't remember what night it was.

Oh, it was. Have another, sir. Have another. Don't drink it yet.

You've got to do the salt. But we have pictures so you can't forget. So, okay. So we, we had a great time.

No, so really. So, guys. Thank you Dwayne. Yeah, Dwayne.

I want to thank Dwayne. Yeah. And this is the biggest black bus you've ever seen. Big black bus.

The big black bus. It's huge. And it was Obama's 2009 campaign bus in California. And now it has a stripper pole.

And then of course there's all kinds of crazy people driving it now. Yeah. So thanks Dwayne. That was a lot of fun.

We went over to see The Pleasure Chest. All right. Right. Which was my first, one of my first advertisers on my underground paper.

And they carry our videos. 14 years ago. And they carry our videos. Right.

So you go over there and ask them for one of our videos. We've been selling them the same video for 20 years. And it keeps on selling. Yeah, ask them for one of our new ones, please.

Okay. So, give us a demonstration of the agua. Yeah, you're in charge of this. Where's the vial of non-cocaine?

Oh, yes. The, the, the salt, please. Here we have our producer. The salt cocaine.

Producer Teja is in charge of salt also. Okay. There's a salt. So we.

Yes. Boozoms, please. Boozoms. Okay.

Boozoms up here. That's a very old fashioned name. Boozoms. Yes.

I like it. Booz boobs. Her boobs are out. Her boobs are out.

But we could get some new boobs. New boobs. New boobs. She's voting for new boobs.

She already had whipped cream liquid. This is the, the day of. Amina is guarding her boobs. Oh no.

I want, I'm moving close. Oh. All right. Yeah.

Okay. So now you're going to do them all. She's really cute this one. Okay.

What she's going to do is, where's the, where's the microphone? Okay. I'm looking for the microphone. It's in the hands of a canto sister.

Okay. Here we go. So, yeah, you want to. Okay.

So you're going to experience being licked. Again. Okay. I was trying to get some new boobs out here guys.

This is the. But you might want some off of her. This is the second licking. The second licking.

Oh yeah, yeah. It's like a movie series. The first licking. The first licking.

And then the second licking. Yes. Salt we go. Okay.

Lime Salt and lick it up. Oh, nice. And down we go. Okay.

What was that? Delicious. Okay. All right.

And would you like to try some? What is it? It's Agua. I don't know what that means.

Cocoa leaf liquor. Total illegal. It is made from the cocoa leaf and it's very sweet and nice. Very delicious.

you have to have the lime salt first. I'm just gonna say I'm terrible at taking shots, but I will try my best. You can take a sip.

Oh, yeah, this is. I'm like a three-sip girl. The key is the salt. Okay.

The salt, you gotta lick the salt. Okay. Off of somebody's titties. I can have my own, too.

Yeah, well, you can lick them off of me. But we keep looking at you. Yours are fantastic. I'm hoping to get somebody else's out.

Yeah, I'm down for that, too. You have to be. Go, Charlie. Charlie.

Charlie. What an awful position to be in, Charlie. Oh, Charlie. Oh, Charlie.

Remember the cologne, the perfume? Charlie. Oh, yes. Back in the day, in the 80s.

In the 80s. There we go. Whoa. Yeah.

Nice titties. Nice. Very beautiful. All right.

All right. So now you do the salt. She's already spilling some. Okay, we lick it right up.

Okay. And now we pour the salt. Yes. Very good.

And lick it right up. Oh, you're doing very well. You're downing it. You're totally downing it, little Jewish girl.

No. Muzzle. It's Danuia, you know? Yeah, pretty good.

Danuia. Yeah, Shanatova. Shanatova. Raksameh Rosh Hashanah.

Okay, very good. How'd she do? Great. Okay.

I have another. Okay. Well, we're gonna move along with this, but before we get totally snockered,

I wanna know if we're ready to do the piercing. Whenever you're ready. Well, okay. All right.

Doesn't she have that teasing? Everyone has interesting voices tonight. I know. Everybody's got their voice on.

You got your voice on. I don't know. I think we're ready. I mean, do you mind if other people are doing shots

while you're doing the piercing? No. No? How do we do this?

I'm feeling that you should do the piercing before you do the shots. Absolutely. That's because, you know.

And where are you gonna? Okay. Do you wanna do it on this one? Yeah.

You okay? I can't tell. Yes. Yes?

Can you hear yourself? Yeah. Okay, good. I've been making crude comments for like half an hour.

Yeah. While you dirty man, you. He has. He was the first one to say fucking on the show tonight.

Gets that prize. I hope that's okay. Okay, so look at them huddled like this. Yeah.

Are you gonna take your shots off of your titties, too? Woo! Woo, woo, woo! If one sister got it on a nipple each,

that wouldn't be incest, right? Here, here, come over here. Come on over here. Yes?

Don't go away, Charlie. What was that? Oh, wait, wait, wait. Sir, no.

I love her. Oh, who are you gonna take it off of? Of my taking? Yeah, you're gonna take some salt.

Am I? Have we done? Yeah, I mean, somewhere, I mean. It's just the tease.

How about your foot? You're not, you're, you're not against the religion or against the contract or something? No, not at all.

Okay, salt off of, you know, any body part. I do love my loosey love. Loosey love? Yeah, I can, I can imagine.

She's like, I'm game. It's like, I love loosey. Okay. Okay, all right.

Bartender? No, the bartender's gonna have new bartender. Oh, I was the bartender. New bartender.

You should rely on this. Oh, here we go. I'm like, there's something going on here. This is Charlie the bartender.

I'll just. Okay, so, lick, sauce, sauce, right? So, I'll hold this and you can hold your shot. You're gonna be drinking it.

So here, you can just move over a little so she can get next to you. Here we go. Okay.

I noticed the sister has left the area. She's right over there, but she's all the way over there. Okay. She doesn't wanna be in the same shot

while sister is sucking titties. Okay, here we go. So, first you lick to get it wet, yeah. Lick to get it wet.

There we go. Okay, and she's licking the outside of the breast. Very discreet. Ooh.

Ooh. And now, taking off our professional relationship, this is a whole new level. Right, this is your job interview.

The sister is here, take some shots here, send this to the husband. Yeah, definitely, he'll love it. He'll be so excited.

Agua. It's good stuff, and she's a bartender, please, I want a testimonial. It's very good.

Agua, whenever you get a chance to go out and buy it, I suggest you do. You can have it at your bar, would you? It's very good.

Very good. Okay, it's very good. You're welcome to have some more off of the other tip. Yeah, you always gotta do the salt, though.

Okay, so let's see, we're doing this piercing over here. I feel like I'm the boundary of some sort with the stripper pole. And just so we don't get Agua.

Are we gonna do this on the stripper pole, or are we gonna do it? Because this has to be medical. Susan, we need to be able to film it.

So, where do we wanna? Would you rather do it on the bed or on the stripper pole? Where would you like to do this? What are you piercing, first of all?

We're piercing in the chest area. In the chest area. Not the nipples, though. Not the nipples.

Do you already have your nipples pierced? They used to be. You don't want nipple piercings anymore. Oh, not tonight.

Not tonight, okay. It's about for a reason. Not tonight. Okay.

Not tonight, dear, I have a nipple ache. Okay. Whoa. Hello.

Okay, hello. Okay, so maybe we better do it on the bed. You guys can move over there. Okay, well,

because then the cameras can see everything. Okay, so we're gonna do our piercing here. We're not done with our shots. All the witnesses stand there.

Yes, we are the witnesses to this piercing. If you'd like to comment, here you go. And we can still do shots out here, by the way. Yes, you can continue doing shots right there.

What are you doing? Shot off your knee. Between the fishnet. There you go, yeah.

Yeah, that's what we want. Dr. Sisi, are you happier now? Yes, yes. Between the fishnet is a little bit subtle.

Now we're happy. What do you think, Canaan? We're gonna make a movie of this? Every day.

Every day, right? Every day. Look at this, this is very antiseptic. He's putting on black gloves.

Usually in the hospitals they're purple, but he's got black ones. Black latex gloves. Let me actually have this mic on.

You scared the shit out of someone in the hospital. Right? Do you know where I'm about to kiss? Longer color bone.

Color bone. Unless you're watching Queer lesbian porn. So you're going to have to go to a place. Okay.

It'll offset the corset. You guys look like a lineup. Do you recognize any of these movements? You don't seem to have a lot of piercings.

I don't see piercings all over you. I used to. Uh-huh. And why did you stop?

Just not the look I was going for anymore. Go ahead and have a drink. It's quite all right. And why are you going for it now?

This isn't permanent. This is just a... Just like a stabbing. Playtime.

Yeah. Okay. They don't stay there. They don't stay.

I see. So this is just to scare us. Sure. Don't be scared.

Well, it's kind of a season. It's October first, so why not a little gore? Is this going to be bloody? Not usually.

Okay. Okay. Can all our cameras see this here? Tony?

Leave us this kit, so... We're all okay. There's all kinds of cute stuff in it. You can move over here if you want.

Move out. Yeah. So these are... This is a piercing kit.

Okay. Very good. Tony, you want to move that camera over here? Right in front.

And... We don't want to miss it. Are you looking forward to the pain? It's going to have some bloodletting.

It's not that painful. It's kind of a prick. Yeah. Don't you guys go away?

Stay right there. You all are very beautiful. Dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee. There you go.

Yeah, here he is. If you need a nurse, you pull that chain. Doctor antiseptic. Right.

There's a story behind the name. What's the story? Oh, he's busy. The story?

Oh, it was just a play on words. It starts with the letter A. Yes, it's better for search engines. That's not true.

To do something in an antiseptic fashion. Don't argue with a man that's about to stab you. I mean... I'm not a cool thing.

Oh, my gosh. It's also kind of a perverse. Are you pierced, Aphrodisiah? I am, yes.

Where are you pierced? I used to have both of my nipples pierced. Until probably like four years ago. And I actually have my clit hood pierced

and my navel pierced. And then the normal of the ears being pierced. Of the ears, right? Do you find piercing sexy?

I do. I do. I got most of my piercings really young, but I still like them.

I like piercings. Are you pierced, Amina? I used to have my nipples pierced, my nose pierced, my tongue pierced.

Oh, I forgot my tongue's pierced, too. I was gonna say your tongue's pierced. But I forgot. Taken out the nipples, the nose,

and the tongue over the ears, but the ears are still pierced. But when I had them, I really did enjoy them. Are you pierced, Canaan?

No piercings. How about you, Ms. Canaan? No, not anymore. You were.

Just my nose, just my nose. Your nose, just your nose. Why not now? Started itch.

Yeah, moved on to other things. Wow. So this is the prick, huh? That's the prick.

It's two pricks. Two pricks. Are better than one. In less cases.

Yeah. Okay. How many piercing, how many... What do you call these little instruments

that he's sticking into you? They're just the heads of needles that screw on the syringes. Right, syringe needles, right, okay.

There's different gauges, the width of them. And you're gonna do his design here, it looks like. No, this is not a design. You're just stabbing randomly.

This one? Her chest is flushing, that must mean she's enjoying it, right? Oh, I'm embarrassed.

Mm, no, I'm all smiles. DDT. Does it hurt at all? It hurts, but it's a good hurt.

DDT? Yeah. DDT, and there's really good word. Dwarven.

And some piercing. So you're getting, getting around. A little bit. Can you check him, tell me if she's wet.

Ward five. He's sterile. I have to use my face. There's some people piercing, and round two, three, five.

No. Dr. Cane. Is it getting more difficult to breathe in that thing? No, I'm used to it now.

It's getting more difficult for me to hold this microphone. Do you know the microphone bitch? You hold the microphone. You know microphone bitch.

Okay, you can't lean backwards now. So this is a random design by Billy Antiseptic. One of the Marlowe Marquise. Random stabbing, number 47.

And these are the piercings, right? And these blue, okay, you're gonna wear this tonight, or take it out? I could.

I could. Well, I mean, you did it. Sometimes we'll pierce them at home and then go out like that.

Yeah. Silicone. There are stoppers to put on the end of the needle, sometimes, so that you can wear them.

Okay. Actually, I saw a performance where a mistress stuck needles into a submissive or a masochist's back

and it was, the needles are all covered with feathers. We thought about doing that tonight, but we didn't have time because we have all sorts of feathers at home.

I did one with fireworks once at my friend's birthday party for the hell of it. Like, we stuck sparklers in like bottle rockets in them. Oh, but this one is just.

Licker on fire. It's just the hospital style, I see. Sure. Yeah.

No bottle rockets. This is more what we do in our personal life. In your personal life, you don't bother with bottle rockets and feathers.

Nothing fancy, just painful. A little bit of pain. Makes those endorphins rise. Oh, I see, so this one's a little different.

It gives you feeling. Oh, here's a little pattern. We have these on either side. She wanted you to try something different.

She's hurting me without even knowing it. My producer there is, ah, those hurt more. The wider, yeah, the thicker they are. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's trying to make that chest really flush. And now I'm whinsing with the bigger ones. Now we got some photographers up here doing this. Okay, just cover this.

Is it harder with the corset on? Oh, no, that doesn't affect it. If you get stabbed, don't worry about the corset. Yeah.

No, because having that on affects your breathing. Well, sure, that's true. It would make you breathe. It affects my breathing, just watching it.

Yeah, that's why I wanted it harder, harder. There's been a way of pain. She does make it seem very, like, no big deal. Just because I'm used to it.

Yeah. Wow. Is there an F? Is there an F?

An F? Last time you said F, it was fuck. Oh, F. A vowel by a vowel.

It's a very good game show. Mm. Wild. Okay.

Well, are you now kind of perfected, or are you doing more? I assume so. That's pretty nice.

It's very nice. Looks very nice. Sometimes piercing and tattoo conventions, they make designs on people

with the different colored needles. Like spirals. Well, I think you should stand up and show off your artwork.

Yeah, that's beautiful. To the crowd here. You are human body art here. Wow.

Wow. That's amazing. Yeah, would your husband like that? He very well might.

You never know until you try, right? Especially if you licked salt off of him. Ooh. Amazing.

Evil October 1st. Very nice. All right, so now, yes, sit down. Now that you're done.

Max, you want one? And you don't have to worry about stabbing. You can do not. They still prick a little bit.

They prick. Yeah. We don't have stoppers. And they're pretty deep.

It's not just, you know... Well, how come there's no blood in it? I don't understand that. Yeah, when they come out?

That comes after you pull them out. Oh, when you pull them out? Yeah. But I'm not a big bleeder, so...

Well, before you get bloody, maybe you should do your agua. Okay, so... You know what? I thought it was water.

I thought you were actually giving us water. Well, yeah. That's similarity in words. It's green water.

It's AGWA. Toxic water. Green water. It's very nice.

Swap water. Swap water. Not exactly blood, but it is green. It's green.

Yeah. Okay, so now... Oh, you are bleeding. Or is that her blood?

What is that? No, that's a scar. That's your scar. That's what I was talking about.

There's a story behind the antiseptic. Oh. He has quite a scar? Yeah, I saw that.

He's very scarred on both arms. And what is that from? Come on, tell your story. Tell your story.

I don't know what's here. I had some sort of rare version of something related to flesh-eating bacteria, basically. But it's a genetic thing.

One of five ever recorded in history? Yeah. There's four people other than me that have had this and they're all dead.

But it's basically like a combination of Ebola and flesh-eating bacteria that starts internally. Nobody has a fetish for that. They don't.

Yeah. There's some cannibal fetishes. Scars are good, though. I spent a year in the hospital.

Antibiotics. There's no kinds of doctors probing me and stuff. Well, I can't say it wasn't... Something worked.

You survived. ...entertaining. I kind of enjoyed it, but... They give you a lot of good morphine for that.

Yeah. All right. A little morphine for a year. Let's hear it for morphine.

Oh, no! I got some fans. Fans of morphine. It's so good they ban it.

Only doctors can use it. Well, sometimes it saves your life. Yeah. Well, at least it makes the transition between life and death more pleasant.

That it does, too. Especially when you have a big tumor or something growing out of it. Sister morphine will take you to the other side, to that river. I was basically crucified to have a vacuum on either side of my body.

That's kind of... It's really hot. We are getting ready for Halloween. You got the freaks on the show tonight.

I had this 80-year-old German artist who spoke German, and I made her tell me the procedures in German the entire time. It's like, you know, you're in the hospital for a year. You got to enjoy yourself.

All right. Let's enjoy your shots. Yes. Let's hear it for hospitals.

It's dark fetishes. Okay. Just on the arm. That's...

That's good. That's all right. At least it's on a scarred arm. Scarred arm, so.

That makes it more interesting. There we go. The neck is okay. Very good.

Oh, wait. What did you lick off of? He lick his own arm. No, no, no.

That's cheating. Oh, that's poo. You have to lick it off of her. You're part of her.

They remind me. Cut the pie now. It's not totally covered. Cut the pie.

Hit the pie right now. Bring it to me. I guess we need more alcohol. More alcohol.

There's our bartender. Bartender, show producer, someone. Product placement. Product placement team.

When you give us your product, you never know where we're going to place it. We just need it for him. Oh, I don't know if she needs another one.

I'm just holding it. Can you take it? Use an interesting part of her body. A more interesting than the wrist, please.

Pull her ass out. Go ahead. I think the ass is good. The ass is good.

Let's do the ass. That was a good idea. Pull that ass out. Because it's sticking out anyway.

I was feeling that ass earlier. Yeah, I know. It was a very, very nice ass. Very nice.

Oh, yeah. Okay. This is salt, right? Come on.

I'll pour on the salt. Is that a nice ass or what? It's a very nice ass. And we have some...

No pants. It's invisible panties. Okay, here we go. No panties.

No panties. That's a lot of salt. You know, you didn't get any salt to begin with. That's a lot of salt.

So now you get extra salt. It's lime salt. You'll have to have a few shots with that. Okay.

All right. All right. Okay. And take a bow.

Let's hear it for the House of Virtue. Yes. Yes. Marlo Marquise and Billy Antiseptic of the House of Virtue.

And thank you very much. And you can, I guess... Well, maybe we should have you come up here and you can sit down there.

Because your girl is going to dance now. So you can come up here. Your girl. Come on, sisters.

That was great, guys. She's going to dance. Lucy Love. Lucy Love.

Come on up here. You haven't done your shot yet, anyway. You're going to dance? Or yours, yeah.

Somebody's going to dance. She's going to dance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got a little more time.

You've got five minutes. So... Five minutes? Do you want to sing another song?

Is it different? Music. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

All righty. Here we go. Lucy Love. Those shoes are hot.

And we have the Cantusas shoes up here. Those shoes. I actually have a gift for you. Awesome.

I do. Thank you. Don't forget. Good Persian music.

Panties in the bottle, Susan. Panties in the bottle. Right there. On jobs of this.

We have emergency panties. We do have emergency panties. Emergency panties. Just for this occasion.

Santa Claus. We need to wipe this up now. It's Christmas. You see, you didn't know that part of the producer job involves cleaning, right?

It's an inside joke. That was great. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Good job, baby. Okay. We're halfway through. All right.

All right. Thank you very much. Lucy Love. You could lick around the edges a little bit.

I think, because she's going to get, she's going to take off the panty part. But you get, yeah, exactly right up around the edge. That's good. Okay.

Now. There we go. Okay. Susan, we have a special gift for you along with the medical team.

Awesome. Oh, they have a gift. Well, that's good. But I want to see the panty change.

Panty change. Yeah. Panty change. Turn off the cameras.

Okay. Turn off the cameras. Turn off the cameras. Okay.

You can do it down here. We'll have teasing. Right. Well, you could change with your back to the audience.

What's that on our panty? If I pulled out my ass, you could pull out your ass. There you go. I've spoken like an experienced woman.

I'm pulling out her ass. An experienced flash. We have some tip money for the stripper. Yeah, we have several.

We have tips. Yeah. We're waiting over here. We also have more agua and bubbles.

And come on. Dance, dance, dance, dance, dance. All right. So how do you want to change the panty?

You're leaking. Your ass is running all over my floor now. That's dirty. You're dropping whipped cream, baby.

You could hold something up. Oh, yes. The curtain. There you go.

Oh, there you go. Thank you. Oh, but then she's completely gone. That's right.

Then she'll come out with a new panty. No, let the tease. Gypsy Rose Lee performed behind the curtain. Shy girls.

Okay. Well, she's going to come back with a G-string. So should we pull the music down now? Yep.

Okay. Now. Wow. Great show.

I'm going to get my gift. Great, great show. I have whipped cream. Oh, yes.

With cream and feathers. There you go. Oh, wow. What is this?

This. That is a speculum. It's a speculum. You know, I need one.

Oh, that's like a public survey, service announcement. I need to check yourself. Is there anybody else?

This is brand new. And shiny. I hope it's brand new. Brand new.

Yeah, exactly. Brand new. Actually. Wow.

This is very nice. Every doctor needs a speculum. And I haven't had a new one in a while. Any sprinkle actually does the public service announcement.

You've seen it. You've seen it. You know, Annie used to live with us. Really?

Yeah, in Italy. Anyone want to demonstrate this? It's not a public service magazine. Really?

Yeah, that's actually a very expensive, comfortable one. A bit around a long time. It's a comfortable version of the speculum.

You look 20, baby. It's more comfortable than plastic. It's only been touched by the printing company that put the flyer in there.

Uh-huh. We're going to check that out later, Doc. Yeah, yeah. This will be a secondary course.

Here's something for your vagina. Okay. Thank you very much. All right, so...

It's a really nice one. It looks way better than the one I stole from the doctor's office a couple of weeks ago. What kind of doctor's office are you going to?

Yeah, I actually really did steal one from the... You did. Oh. Well, not steal, but I convinced him to give it to me.

You did. Oh, he probably used the disposable plastic one. Yeah, it is. Those pinched.

Those pinched. The hostile version. Yeah. All right, where is...

Where's Pandrel? Where is Lucy Love? With her new panties. She ran off into the alley naked.

Come on, she's a professional stripper. She should know how to change her panties like that. She just dropped her whipped cream and left. She did.

She dropped a bunch of whipped cream. Did she take that pie with her? Yeah, we were eating it until... The pie went all over her ass.

It's still on the... I still don't believe it's key lime. That is not key lime. It is key lime.

I tasted it. Unless my senses are up. That part tastes like key lime. Oh, I just got the whipped cream before.

Okay, so she's gone. Lisa, could you bring me... Chef Amina says that it's key lime. Lisa, could you bring me...

She knows what she's talking about. We've lost our guest. Oh, no. It is a really good key lime.

So let's explain what's going to happen next. We need to get everybody on the bed so we can take a photo of everybody. Well, we haven't entered the show yet.

Oh, we haven't. Oh, right, okay. Do we all get our shameful plugs? Yes.

No, we're not shameful. Shameless. Yeah, we have to... Shameless self-promotion.

We actually have to unplug the people. I have lots of things stuck in me right now. Yes, it looks like you need to be on the spot. So we have to unplug people.

We can't. We can't plug her. She's done. This show is about unblocking.

We have to unblock things. All right. Isn't that cute? So we'll, I guess, go around here

because we've lost our guest. She literally ran out the door naked. No, no. We'll get everybody here.

She ran out the door naked. She sort of did. All right. Okay.

So where do we find you? You can either find me at www.marlomerkeys.com or we have house-of-virtue.com coming soon.

You have any more blood orgies coming up? Blood orgies. Only personally. Okay.

What are you doing for Halloween? We're going to San Francisco for the blood... We've got a party on a battleship that's going out to sea for a couple days

in San Francisco. Yeah, it's on the 29th. For the life of me. I can't remember what the hell it's called.

It's terrible. We were invited. So we're just like battleship. That sounds good.

Fucking battleship. Very good. We have an event in October on the 23rd. It's a white trash-themed event.

We have outdoor stripper pole. Human petting zoo. People drag behind a motorcycle. Awesome.

A lot of awful things. And here she is. Very offensive. Back.

My God. Amongst us. I thought I'd never see her again. She did it the right way.

Panties over the garter belt. You put the panties over the garter belt just so you could take them off, right? Yeah.

That's what it's for. But you got to learn how to take off your panties in front of people. That's a part of being a burlesque T-zorama.

You do it very skillfully. So you do not appear to be a low class, whatever you think is low class. If she had fans, she could definitely do that.

But Diana is very classy. Very classy. Yeah. Oh, okay.

I'll have a fan. You could use this. Well, then show us the A. Okay.

But anyway. A. See? No.

Wait. Oh, you still have cream on your ass. No. Oh, yes, you do.

Oh, look at that. Yes. And that's a creamy ass. Cream pie.

Okay. Okay. Well, then you have to lean over so we can wipe your ass, young lady.

Those panties are defining you very well. I think Facebook deleted a photo of Camelto recently from my profile. Yeah.

Facebook, yes. We threaten me. We know all about it. What's wrong with Camelto?

That's not offensive. Apparently, it's illegal. Have I ever wiped an ass on my show? I don't know.

Okay. I fucking hope so. All right. I think you can sit down now.

At least it's a good ass. Yeah. That's very nice. Nice ass toy, yes.

Hold this. Where can we find you? We can find you on their website or do you want to promote anything about yourself?

Here we go. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Can we just take you home and make you a website?

We like to take girls home. We really do. Young girls. Yeah.

Young girls. There you go. It's working. Am I talking?

You're talking. Oh, yeah. I'm a total dual personality. This is just a small part of me.

It's another part of you that would like a speculum exam. Oh, my God. Those freak me out.

I'm glad you're so excited about your new show. No, I mean, there's definitely the exhibition

aside of me. I used to be on the other side of the camera and I said to step out. But, you know,

I took my California basic skills exam for teachers this morning. You know, there's like a total other side of me. I just put it in my application

with the Peace Corps and stuff, you know? Nice teacher. So it's just like, yeah. Teacher is wrong, guys.

You know, it's just like a hobby. It's not like a... A Peace Corps teacher. It's just fun.

Little piece of core. Poor piece. Teachers are sexy. Teachers are sexy.

Teachers are sexy. But, you know, now that when I grew up, guys, they could molest kids today.

Right? I know. They go to jail. It's awful. When did that stop?

It's awful, awful, awful, awful. It's awful that you can't molest kids anymore. That's correct. It's awful, awful.

Because I was molested by my teachers. I loved it. I was, you know... Exactly.

I mean, you know... I was acting like... Made me a nice man, you know? Personal.

All this blood. Yeah. We're kidding. Joking.

We're kidding. No molest kids till they're 16. 18. 18.

17 and 15. Oh, sorry, 18. 17 and 16. 18.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. 18. Oh, 18. 21.

Married. Speaking of marriage. Your parents. Are they up in Northern California?

Yes. Yes. Hopefully not. Can they hear this radio show?

Oh, they don't know. Oh, no. They're nice Jewish folks. Oh, no.

What a tease. Are you kidding me? I'm an only child. Right?

Oh, I thought maybe your last name. Oh, boy. Love. You took the wrong road.

Baby grew up. No, they'll never find you. The baby grew up. Left turn.

And if they do, they'll love Lucy love like we do. I hope so. Anyway. Well, at least you'll shake them up a little bit.

I hope their parents don't love her like we do. I hope so. I hope not. Or I can undo.

Okay. Well, I guess incest is a theme. Now back to the sisters. I love sisters.

Okay, they don't have a microphone. Oh, here's a microphone. Right there. Right there.

I guess microphone. Okay. Get down. Get down.

Get down to the microphone. So we have Mindy Cantu. Yes. Mindy, you got away without dancing at all.

Can do. You didn't even dance on my show. Yeah. What is it that you can do?

You slipped through our fingertips. I'm not here for my dancing. I'm here for my sight. And I'm here for my...

Your sight. Very serious. Wow. I'm here for the love of sex and the sex that we bring to our sight.

Oh, would you like to try some spectrum? And... I didn't come here for a gynecologist. By the way, that's provided to you by stockroom.com.

By the way, that's provided to you by stockroom.com. I just had one of those a week ago. I don't want to experience that again. But...

Is that from stockroom.com? It's from stockroom.com. They're great. I have.

From stalkers.com. Now you have stalkers. Where do we find you? And the website and everything else.

Pardon? Where do we find your website and stuff? Thank you. Go ahead, your website promoter.

This is your big moment. This is your big moment. Dolls and Dames.net. That's where you can find us.

And all of our dolls, all of our names. Say it again. dollsanddames.net Dollsanddames.net.

You know, Lucy Love, one of our dolls. One of our newest dolls. Yeah, we like her. You know, we have Ruby Champagne who is Miss Viva Las Vegas 2010. Oh, bring her over. She is awesome.

One of our dolls. We have nicotine-a-tease, one of our dames. Nicotine-a-tease. Yes. Now that's an interesting, you know, we were looking at you smoking. She is smoking. You are into the smoking too, right?

Is she the same nicotine-desire from the East Coast? No. Nicotine-a-tease, she smokes a cigarette like you guys would not even believe. It is hot. Can we see a little smoking on your phone a little later after the show?

Can you smoke for us? Or you can smoke right now. I thought I couldn't. I asked and they said no.

If it's performance smoking, that's okay. Even in California. Can't smoke like nicotine-a-tease. Yeah, nicotine-a-tease is amazing and we have all that on our website.

We have wham, wet and messy. We get real freaking messy. Okay, very good, very good. Nothing, but you won't do anything here. Well, you know, you know.

We're way over time. We forgot one more plug. Yeah, go ahead. Anisepticfashion.com.

Yeah, I still have that website. Take another needle in. He's still a designer. Anisepticfashion.com.

Okay. And Charlie. Hi. Thank you so much for providing your titties.

No problem, anytime. Anytime I'm in town. I'd like you to come up here for the post-show. I didn't get my agua shot.

How are you enjoying your time in LA? Having fun. Were you from? Yeah, it was great.

Were you visiting from? Florida. Florida. Where's Florida?

Over there. I just relocated from New York. Nor is also a refugee from Florida. It's hot.

It's hot there, right? I hear it's hot but in a good way. Okay. So that's it.

But we need everybody up here. I want to thank all of you for joining us, brothers and sisters. I want to thank you, my guests and my in-studio audience and my crew and Tasia,

her first show that she produced tonight. And welcome, Justine here and all you others that are old bonobos, you know I love you.

And you, you're the ones that are listening or watching us in your mansion on a hill or your cardboard box. I want you to be good, be happy,

try not to hurt anyone including yourselves, whether you pierce or drink blood or strip tees or whatever you do. Make like bonobos, not baboons.

Make love, not war. Make love to someone you love tonight. Even if that someone is you. I love you.

I love you, but before we leave, Kelly Shabari, I just want to tell you the show goes on and on and on and on and on. From our house to your house.

The trail of the lowest levels. See you later. Thanks for listening. Take care.

We love you. And remember this. There's the Arab Spring and then the next spring is the American Spring.

Tell your banker that because they stole it all. See you later. Bye-bye. Need to talk with someone about something

you can't talk about with anyone else? You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves. But my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute

for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy over the phone. Anytime you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy

or a hot phone sex experience or a combination, my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential.

We listen, talk with you, advise you, role play for you, fantasize with you. No fantasy is too taboo and help you with anything

from impotence to exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. For more information, call us at 213-291-9497. That's 213-291-9497 anytime you need to talk.

We're listening to Radio Suzy 1 on the World Wide Web.