Last Supper Seder at the Speakeasy

Full transcript of Last Supper Seder at the Speakeasy on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

You're listening to Radio Susie One on the World Wide Web and now here she is, Dr. Susan Block. Brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, sexy Christians and naughty Jews, erotic Muslims and hot Hindus, body Buddhists, goddess worshipers, atheists and my favorite, agnostics. All we know is we don't know. All you children of sex and we are all children of sex.

We may or may not be children of God, Israel, Jesus, Allah, the Easter Bunny or the big matzah ball in the sky, but until we start cloning ourselves we are all children of sex with a capital X. Can I hear an amen? Can I hear an amen? I want to welcome you to the Speakeasy Passover Easter Seder Last Supper, Bakanal.

This year's Seder happens to fall on Saturday, which is a sacred show night here at the Speakeasy. So we are for the first time having a Seder show. And it is also Easter Eve. That's right, brothers and sisters. It is the eve of the resurrection of Max, I mean Jesus, Christ, zombie,

who presides over the Last Supper, yes, or the Lord's Supper depending on your denomination. Actually it is a Passover Seder before being crucified and then on Easter Sunday coming back to life. Sounds like the undead to me. But anyway, this is the basis of the Eucharist and Holy Communion and Da Vinci's painting, The Last Supper,

and just millions, billions upon billions of schlacheria items just like this plate. Okay, Seder. The word Seder in Hebrew means order, order. It is a spring ritual of renewal, sacrifice, celebration, freedom, feasting, family, indoctrination, intoxication, redemption, and resurrection.

And it's done in a certain order. That's why we call it a Seder. And yet, within that order, there is a whole lot of room for interpretation. So I am going to interpret brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners along with my bunnies and corpses. People have been holding Saders for millions of, well not years, but days, millennia I think.

Actually we don't know how long people have been holding Saders, but let's say since ancient times, the Last Supper at least, to Obama. He's the first US president to actually hold a Seder in the White House. And this is a Speakeasy Seder, which is very different from anybody's house.

Max and I have been holding Speakeasy Saders for over 20 years, and they are an integral part of our love affair. We've even held them by phone when he's been in another continent. They're always meaningful, always very passionate, and always very irreverent. Some might say blasphemous. I apologize.

If I offend anyone's idea of God, I'm just trying to be good, be truthful, and have some fun. Sometimes that comes out a little blasphemous. Sorry, but you should know that spring equinox has long been a pagan and therefore a blasphemous holiday, as all the best holidays are at least originally.

Of course the monotheists have taken it over as the monotheists take over everything. But long before Jesus was born again on Easter, long before Moses told the pharaoh to let my people go, long before all of these stories were told and told again,

pagan people came together in small groups like this, as well as very large intertribal gatherings to celebrate the rebirth of Mother Earth and freedom from the harsh slavery of winter, reveling in the born again beauty of nature in the original passion play.

Now speaking of original, I am tonight going to recite some Seder passages in the original ancient Hebrew. Sorry about that. But if anyone here does know Hebrew, I don't know if anyone does, but you can sing along. So you can mask my not so great voice.

But no, I am not praying, okay, not prayer, nor beseeching any particular God or goddess. But I do believe that there is great beauty and history and mystery and power in ancient tongues. So sometimes I will do the prayers in Hebrew, in that spirit.

So starting out in that spirit, we are going to light the candles and say the prayer for the candles. So we are going to light the candles. As you can see here on the speakeasy Seder table we have some interesting candles.

And my lovely bunnies here are going to be lighting these candles. All the different candles, yeah. You can light one too, even though you are not a bunny. You need a lighter.

You got a lighter there? Alright, we are set. Here we go, lighting the candles. Brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners.

Baruch atadonai, alohenu melecholam. Start lighting. Share kitchanubu mitzvotav, vitzivanu lehadlikner. Shell, pesach.

Yes, this is the Yoni candle right here, very nice. Yes, okay, we have got them almost all lit. Very good. Okay, so now we are going to go to our Haggadah.

Some of you have Haggadahs. By the way, those of you who are out there, I have a bunch of Haggadahs on the bed. If anyone wants to take some Haggadahs and pass them around, there are some extra ones. And the Haggadah is the Book of Passover, the Book of the Last Supper.

It's the Book of the Order. And these are very old Haggadahs. They are practically ancient because they come from when I was a little girl. So there is something called the Order of the Passover, which is on page 4.

And I am just going to sing this in Hebrew real quick. And then I am going to say it in English. So what we have is, recite the Kiddish, wash the hands, eat the green vegetable, break the middle matzah, recite the Passover story, wash the hands before the meal,

say the Hamids and special blessing for the meal, wash the hands before the meal, eat the bitter herbs, eat the bitter herb and matzah together, serve the festival meal, eat the Afiqoman, say the Grace after the meal,

recite the Halal, conclude the Seder. Wow, we are going to do all that in record time. Okay, so first thing we are going to do to make everything go a lot faster is have a glass of wine, okay.

Yep, so we could pour the wine. Now I want to tell my guests after I pour the wine I am going to be introducing you. I want you to have already downed a cup of wine before you even say hello at the Seder table. So you have a choice of wine.

This is, you know, some typical I think Shiraz wine here. This is the hard stuff. This here is Manashevitz Passover wine, special for Passover. It is also very good as a dessert topping.

It is very, very sweet. You can't even have this though because you are 18. But you can, it is very sweet if you like. You like sweet? Yeah, okay.

And I think I am going to have some of this. So, yeah, there we go. Yeah, okay. So we are, you can pour yourself some wine in the red cup.

And wine is a very important part of Passover and Easter and the mystical experience. Wine, it is very simple because wine gets you drunk, okay? Wine makes you feel free, redeemed from the bondage of your sobriety. And the spring holidays, Passover, Easter and other spring holidays celebrate freedom and redemption.

On Passover, we are commanded to drink at least four cups of wine. In church, wine is the blood of Christ who, according to the Gospel of Matthew said at the Last Supper, drink ye all of it, for this is my blood of the Covenant. Some pretty vampirish stuff, if you ask me.

But anyway, long before Jesus turned water into wine and all that other wine God stuff, there was another great wine God, Dionysus. Yes, God of the Vine, Bacchus to the Romans. And this is why we call this a Bacchanal.

He is the original God of spring. Maybe there was one before him, probably a few, but we don't know their names. We do know the name Dionysus, Bacchus, and we know that in addition to being gods of wine, they are gods of fertility, ecstasy and revolution.

Bacchus Dionysus, like Jesus, was a very cute baby. You can see how cute Jesus is here. This is a baby Jesus butt plug, right? Okay, this is made by divine interventions.

We might be using this later. But this is baby Jesus. Very cute. And also Dionysus was a very cute baby.

And he had a divine father, God, as a matter of fact, otherwise known as Zeus or Jupiter. And a human virgin mama, Samalai. And like Jesus, Dionysus, Bacchus was an androgynous man God of the people who died a terrible death and was reborn as a God in spring.

And so, brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, we drink the blood of Bacchus, Dionysus, Jesus, Lord Dracula, and the children of Israel as we begin our Seder. And as the Haggadah says, leaning on the left side, which is like the Romans do, we're supposed to be acting Roman here.

Sort of acting decadent. Drink the first cup of wine. So here we go. I want to hear the amen and the all women again.

Amen, all women. Drink. Ah, we can't tell if you drank the whole thing because it's a red glass. Well, actually, you can't tell.

You're supposed to drink the whole thing. Okay, you did. Okay, and now you're starting to talk, which is good because now I'm going to introduce you. Okay, so that was very good boys and girls.

You kept yourself quiet, bunnies and dead people. So now, can I have some assistance with bringing the microphones around to the dead people and the living? Oh, I'm so glad Aphrodisiac is wearing a yarmulke. You look very cute in that yarmulke.

She does. She really does. Okay, so we have over here, Corsi. Hello.

Hello. Chag Sameach Pesach. Happy Easter. Sorry, I'm using my throat.

Thank you. Am I the only other Jew that's here besides you, the official? You know, there are other Jews. There are half Jews and there are true Jews.

And wandering Jews. Wandering Jews. But this is the only place where Jews and bondage means a whole different thing. Yeah, Jews and bondage.

There's been a lot of Jews and bondage here. There have. And I'm very excited to be part of this. Yes.

With these beautiful, as a matter of fact, you're talking about the resurrection. I'm having an erection, actually. From all the beautiful women that are here today. Well, that's the original resurrection, is the erection.

Is the original erection. Yes. But it's re, you had it again. Yes, that's the beautiful thing about it.

It's like you thought it was dead and it comes back to life. Yeah, sometimes that happens. And you have a very sexy, Jesus has never looked so good. Yeah.

Jesus Christ is looking very, very good. She looks good. In fact, I think we're going to let her speak too. Why?

Did Jesus talk? Well, you know, I think we will. We're going to get some microphones going around here, though. So, Corpse, welcome.

Thank you. Girls in corpses. Girls in corpses. It ties in perfectly with the theme, I think.

Back to life. You know, we did an Egyptian issue of girls in corpses. And one of your cameraman actually is an Egyptian mummy. Can we get a shot of the cameraman mummy?

That's Nordolf, by the way. His shoulder pad's coming off a little, but you can see him. I don't know. He's a little warm.

Well, he definitely looks like he can't do a lot of harm. Like, you know, like take us all prisoner. I don't know. It could be scary a little later.

It could be. It could be. The Egyptian's revenge. The Pharaoh's revenge.

Pharaoh's revenge. Could be that. But it's very exciting. We also have, by the way, and I forgot to bring them out,

but our spring issue of girls in corpses magazine. So, it's spring. Yeah. And it's a renewal.

I'm glad you have the spring issue out in spring instead of the winter one. Yes, I'm tying that in. But it's, you know, I've been to Seder's all my life. And I would be at one tonight.

I bailed on it. Well, thank you. But you are at one. This is a Seder.

This is a real Seder. This is a real Seder. And it's the first. And you said the real Baruch, you did the whole, you have the whole spit sound.

Yeah, I grew up with that. But you need to do a Baruch at the out of night. I'll hit him like a lump. Oh, you know it.

You can show him that it's my toe of it. It's Ivana LaHellinair. Share Dr. Susan Block. Ah-ha-ha.

Right? Okay, baby. You do that one. Bless the show.

A man and a woman. A woman. And I think I'm the only man here too. Am I?

Well, you know. I'm honored. I feel like the rabbi. Yeah.

I'm rabbi corpsi tonight. Yeah, we like to weight it with more estrogen than testosterone. Now, are you a cossack or, you know, because cossacks, it wasn't a good thing for Jews. Very bonobo.

The pogrom was where all the Russians chased down and killed all the Jews. So that's not a good time. That's not a good time. Well, you know, this is a holiday when we remember suffering.

We do. And so it's cool. I mean, we get into the suffering. We just bondage.

A little bondage. With a nice flogger. Yeah. You know, it feels good to get into the suffering and then you get into the pleasure and then

the pain and so. But anyway, I mean, this is also like the black hat, except it's blue. Very sexy. So I wanted it to match.

I'm not a very, you know, I don't really subscribe to organized religion. I say organized because I think the difference is once someone's in charge, there is no God. There's someone that stands in front of a congregation and speaks.

Except that I'm in charge of this. And you have actually spoken enough for the very beginning here. Oh, we're done. Yeah.

So we're going to. We're not done. But we want to introduce the other lovely people. I just want to say, though, that I just want to say that the tradition of religion is

what I like. I like the food and the things that we're going to eat tonight and getting together. That's what I like. But not that the heavy religion.

But I'm speaking of being real. I'm a little religious tonight because we missy who we just had shot in a in a morgue, by the way. Missy Martinez is sitting next to me and I'm genuine.

It's a little religious for me. All right. Maybe I don't know if there's a mic that works to give her the microphone. I will.

But I don't know if there's another mic over there. I don't think it might even be able to use that one. We can try it. I don't think it works.

Okay. Then you might have to give her. There's always a mic. I usually have a mic that doesn't work.

But it's very exciting. Maybe she doesn't speak. Speaking of while she's looking for it to work. Where's Max?

It's a little like Elijah. He is. Is he here? Max is actually perhaps coming back to life tonight.

Well, Elijah's the ghost that's supposed to show up. Elijah is a little bit of foreshadower of Jesus. Of Jesus. And Max is like Elijah tonight.

All right. I'm done. Missy, I'm done. Elijah's cup right here.

We are waiting for Elijah who will drink from the cup. Elijah would. And Elijah would. Exactly.

Another resurrection pun. Okay. And this is the lovely Bunny. Missy Martinez.

Thank you for having me, Dr. Susan. I'm having you back though. Yes. Thank you for having me again.

I'm happy to have you back. You know, I loved having you on the first time, which is when you actually met Mr. Corpse. Yes.

It was a magical experience. Wait. Where'd your mic go now? I don't know.

I'm going to share it. I'm not going to talk because she's so beautiful. No one's to look at me. I can't believe you're not going to talk and your mic is over there.

But anyway. You're going to die by the end of the night by not talking. Okay. Enough about me.

Enough about you, Missy. Yeah. Go ahead, Missy. Tell us.

Because she's gorgeous and we did shoot her dead on an autopsy table. We did. Which ties into Seder. How exactly?

Is it the lamb bone? What are we doing? Oh. The lamb bone.

The shank bone. Yes. The shank bone. The original Corpse.

Oh, yes. But you know, you're mentioning, isn't Jesus really the original Corpse, the original zombie? Yes.

Jesus is. I mean, I don't know if he's the original one. I think actually Dionysus is because Dionysus came back to life. Dionysus was chopped into little pieces.

He was the God of wine. He was a God of the people. And I think that, you know, Jesus, you know, took a page out of Dionysus's book. Yes.

He stole his whole act. Yeah. Exactly. You know, he turned the water into wine.

Dionysus did all that, you know, thousands of years before. But Jesus walked on water. Denise, so. What was that, Moses?

Why aren't we speaking of Moses tonight? Moses is supposed to be. We are going to. Okay.

You know, if you'd stop talking. I'm sorry, Missy, go ahead. We'd get to that. Yeah.

We're going to have eggs later. Yeah. We have eggs. We have Easter eggs.

Yeah. And I'm now like, I've lost my place, so we're good. No, okay. Here's what we're going to do now.

We are going to wash our hands as we are introducing the next people. Okay. We are going to wash hands.

So someone, perhaps that someone could be Teja since you're so lovely as a. You don't wash your hands in the salt water though. No, that's not the salt water.

That is the wash hands water. I think we need to find out that Teja has a bunny butt plug in her rectum at the moment. Ah, thank you for pointing that out.

I wasn't sure if she'd already put it in. You're welcome. Yeah. That's good.

We're going to get to see it? Okay. So washing of the hands is a very important ritual in Judaism.

Why was that? We didn't get plagues. It's because we would wash hands before dinner. Not because we thought it was hygienic, but just because

it was a religious thing. But that was one reason we didn't get plagues. So a lot of Christians called us the devil. I did not know that.

So we'd always wash hands before meals. Should we do it now? And sex too. You wash your hands before.

Before and after actually is a good more important. It's a good idea. It's a good idea. Especially if you're using your hands with sex.

Okay. So maybe Nori can help out. I just said Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ, it's Max.

Oh. It's Captain Jesus. Captain Jesus. Oh, there he is.

Oh. He is here. He is. He is.

Yes. You're a little early. But that's okay. Speaking of resurrection.

What else do you want from me? You know, maybe you should give him a microphone. Okay. Hey Max.

Hey, hey Max. Welcome back to life. Good evening. I just came back to life.

This is the resurrection of Max. I was dead for a little while. Yes. Woo hoo.

You look good. You look good. But I've come back to save you all. Yes.

All right. So I see you're having a wonderful, wonderful evening here. We are beginning it. Yes.

We're just getting it going here. In the old days, when I was walking the earth, we wore dresses. We were all trannies. Okay.

You're saying Jesus was a tranny? Watch the hands. No, I'm sorry. Sorry.

Jesus was a great, great hippie of his time. And unfortunately, my followers and my father's followers perverted our teachings. Okay. Oh, no, no.

That's the salt water. Don't put your hands in the salt water. No. Okay.

Well, that's okay. You just have salty hands. The non-Jews are watching their hands in the salt water. No, you can't tell.

It's not a facial. Just wash your hands. Okay. They didn't know.

You know, this is the water thing. And do we have any kind of towel or something? Okay. You're just going to have to have wet hands.

All right. Let's move this somewhere. Who can move this somewhere? Where is my helper?

You know, Jews are very confused for taking the water. This proves. Helen, I need help up here. Jews were in the desert for 40 days because they were so confused.

A lot of people don't know that. It is confusing. The whole Seder thing is supposed to be order, but it's a total mass of confusion. Okay.

So I need a microphone over here. Where's Teja? I can pass. Oh, you can pass the mic.

Okay. Here we go. So did we move the water? Because we're going to have to use that again.

Okay. So now we have the lovely Natalie Fox. Hi. Hi, Natalie Fox.

Let's see. Is her microphone on? Yeah. Good.

Yes. Talk right into it. Yes. Very close.

It's a pleasure being here. Like you're giving it head. But no saliva. Okay.

It's so wonderful to have you. Welcome to the speakers. You put it up there. Yeah.

Yeah. It's very mono directional. Like monotheism. Yeah.

So it can only hear you. Yes. You look adorable as a bunny. Thank you.

Yeah. And you're only 18, so you're not allowed to drink the wine. Right. Well, you are legal to do every sex act under the sun, but not to drink wine.

But anyway, welcome. So did you grow up with Easter Passover, Buddha's birthday? With Easter. With Easter.

Right. Did we ever a bunny like this? Not really. Oh, good.

Well, you get to be a bunny tonight. Excellent. Well, welcome. We're excited to have you here.

It's going to be a different kind of show, but you've never been to the show, so it's all good. Okay. And let's say hi to Amina.

Hello. Hello. Welcome to the Seder. I'm so happy to be here.

You've, of course, been here many times, but this is your first speakeasy Seder. My first speakeasy Seder. Have you ever been to a Seder? Yes, I have.

Oh. Very good. I just put my hands in the salt water. I thought, corpsey, that for the length of this beautiful Seder table that the bowl,

we might have two bowls, but yes, I have been to Seder's before, but not quite like this. So I'm very excited. Not like this. You have no idea.

Peanuts, candles, galore. Yep. Yep. Just to start.

And here's Aphrodisiac, who looks so, so dashing in your yarmulke. Keep on Hebrew. It's really exciting. It's my first.

It looks really good. I must say. Thank you. Yeah.

You look great. Okay. Black Jew. Work it out.

Yeah. Well, you know, black. Sammy Davis, Jr. Famous Jew.

Well, even before Sammy Davis, we can go back. Oh yeah. Ethiopia. Yes.

Thank you very much. Maybe even Jesus who was a rabbi. Wasn't Jesus black? Can we talk about that?

Probably Moses was black. Yes. They were all black. In fact, they would say, you know, he had, they called him swarthy or something

like that. Okay. So now I want to introduce Jesus up here. Representing Jesus.

Jesus, she's hot. Very many representations of Jesus here tonight. This is Bunny Jesus, I think here. We have to turn her microphone on.

Is there a mic working? This is. Hello. I'm going to translate for Jesus.

Here she is. This is the lovely and very spiritual Veronica Ricci. Shalom. Shalom.

You have that on your website. Yeah. You do. Yeah.

That means peace. It does. It means peace. It means hello.

It means goodbye. It's a great word. Shalom. And it's related to, of course, salam, which is the same thing in Arabic.

But anyway, Veronica Ricci, are you Arabic? Are you Jewish? Are you Italian? I'm Italian.

Yeah. Of course. Ricci. Is that your real name?

No, that's not my real name. Okay. But you're a hot Italian bunny. Yeah.

I try to be. I'm more salami than Shalom. Were you ever an Easter bunny for Easter? No, I'd like to be.

I'm usually not wearing clothes on Easter. Okay. Well, we couldn't have you have less clothing. I mean, could we pull your top down or something?

Jesus Christ. Well, I don't know. This is a, this is the day of God. I don't know if I can do that.

It's the day of God's, many God's. Well, anyway. Okay. You don't know.

Well, we'll let you figure that out. The cross would look really nice between those boobs, though. The cross here. Can we put this between her breasts?

This is chocolate. It doesn't matter. Veronica is the pope's fluffer, by the way. And it's kind of hot.

And I'm just wondering if this will melt. I hope it will. You could place it there. Can I place it between your breasts?

Yeah, you may do that. Thank you. Barokha. Barokha Shan.

Okay. Oh. Yeah, here we go. Okay.

So he is placing the chocolate cross. I don't know. This is, this is part of the last supper. And Veronica Ricci is now representing Jesus on the cross.

It is Easter Eve. Jesus is still on the cross. And will be resurrected shortly. Me hammer her from that side.

Oh, I'm sorry. That's later. We should also say that Veronica is an actress and a girls in corpses girl and many other things.

And snake club and stuff. And, you know, I don't know what else you want to say. She stars in snake club as a woman who turns into a snake soon to be in a theater not near you.

Okay. So remind me to bring out Evie later. Although I don't want to have her slithering around the Seder table. Oh, it's religious, isn't it?

Garden of Eden? Garden of Eden. Yeah. It's a different holiday.

Okay. So, okay. So, you know what? Now is our next ritual.

And we are going to eat the green vegetable. Where is Teja? Where is the lovely and productive producer? I think she's giving a head to Max.

Teja. No. You mean Max Jesus? Oh, Max.

Oh, you're going to get on the cross with her. Oh, I see. Yes. The two Jesuses.

All right. So now we're going to do the green vegetable. Okay. So in the original Haggadah, we don't know really what they mean by partaking of green.

We know it means something to do with spring, that we must ingest something green. It's marijuana, I think. Was it marijuana? Well, that's my thought.

I mean, maybe not. But you know, as I said, you're allowed to have different interpretations of the Haggadah. Not a lot of green stuff in the desert. So we will do the traditional green, which is to eat some parsley.

So here, have some parsley here. Do we dip the parsley in the saltwater? We dip the parsley in the saltwater. The saltwater represents the tears of the Hebrew slaves.

So you've got some parsley over there. Okay, I've got mine all over my plate. Okay. And so, yeah.

So we get this green. Now, we believe. So we dip it in here. Okay, so the saltwater here.

Dip it in the saltwater. This is what the blue... Now, that one has Aphrodisiac's hand in it. But that's okay.

It makes it a little extra spice there. So, Barb... I'm sorry. I just splattered on her leg.

You did. Little saltwater. That's cool. But semen is salty, so I think it's a tie-in.

It's certainly a tie-in. Okay, wait! Sorry. Shut the fuck up.

You know, this reminds me of family satyrs. You're eating before the prayer, Corpsy. Christ, I was hungry. Okay, okay.

So, by the way, we're on page 7, just in case you want to know. So now we dip the parsley. Don't have too much parsley. It's kind of awful, this parsley.

But anyway, we dip the parsley in the saltwater and we go... Corpsy, you can follow along here. Let's do the prayer together, if you know it. You can harmonize with my off-kiness.

You know the beginning at least. What about the penis? Wait a minute. The blessed art the eternal our God, ruler of the universe, creator of the fruit of the

earth. Okay, you know... Yeah, it's not gonna be... I mean who likes that?

But, now we do have also the other kind of green. We really were eating bunny food. It is bunny food. It's true.

You know what? I didn't think of that. Very good point. Very, very good point.

Ladies and gentlemen, Jesus is left the cross. Jesus is in the building. That's okay. That's okay.

Jesus. Pull your chair. You don't have to be on the cross the whole time. I just saw Jesus's panties.

Okay. In fact, we now have the partaking of the other kind of green, which are gracious producer Teja is providing through the adult play parlor Peter Piper. And this is quite a unique instrument, brothers and sisters.

I don't think you find it anywhere on the web except adult play parlor. And look, it's even in green. Okay. So this is all about the green, brothers and sisters.

In fact, I'm just wondering, Teja, maybe you should just come right up here. You know, unless, who wants to partake of the green first? Okay, then I will. Okay.

So you should sit right up here. So move, move, move over a little bit. Please, Natalie, and I will move the salt water. You notice we have death here as a dildo, right?

Death is always with us. Okay. Here we go. Yep.

That's what I'm talking about. Our bunny is an acrobat. So, brothers and sisters, there's a lot of you that are supporting the green movement. And I don't know if you've ever considered that in the Haggadah, when they say partake of a green vegetable,

that what they're really talking about is this green vegetable, cannabis. Okay. Here she goes. What the hell?

Okay. So, she's getting comfortable, brothers and sisters. Once again, Jesus Christ. Okay.

Yeah, he's right there. All right. So, now, we just... Oh, wrong end.

Sorry. Okay. Well, you know, nothing like a little flavoring. This is very different than the saders I grew up with, by the way.

No. A little bit different. Okay. Here we go.

Oh, I'm double plugged. Okay. Okay. And this is the bunny butt plug right here.

Okay. So, who's got a light? Not the big light. A lighter or a light?

No, not that thing. A lighter. A lighter. That is a lighter.

I think I'm going to take this thing off for this part. Okay. Is there a prayer for this? I don't remember this in the book.

Don't try this at home in this position. Okay. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus.

Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Okay. Who else?

This is the Khalama Telethon. Oh. Would anyone else like to partake of the green? Welcome to the Khagata Telethon.

No one else wants to partake of the green. All right. Well, you know, that's fine. So, you can partake of the green.

Okay. Here she goes. Very good. Spring is green time.

All right. All right, brothers and sisters. Now, we are going to break the matzah. Here's the matzah.

This one here. Let me have a piece of matzah here. Okay. This is the matzah here, brothers and sisters.

And it's a cracker, I guess. It's a wafer. It's a Jewish Ritz. Isn't it?

Yeah. And yeah, it's like a saltine, right? Except without the salt. This one has salt, though.

That one doesn't have salt. You like the salt? There were no delis in the desert by the way. No, that's the problem.

But, you know, this matzah is, it represents both the fact that when the Jews had to leave Egypt, the Hebrews, as slaves, they had to leave in a hurry. And so there wasn't time to let the bread rise,

which sounds kind of strange, but anyway. Jews are rushed to this day. Yeah. That's why Jews are always a little crazy.

They're always rushed. It is unleavened bread. Right. They were in a rush.

In a rush. So they had to have these horrible crackers and send us some nice bread. So, you know, anyway, so Jesus also is into these crackers, because this is what you eat for communion.

Not quite this, but a cracker, you know, and that is the body of Jesus. And actually, at Jesus's last supper, he says, he breaks up the matzah,

and he says, eat, this is my body. So, we are not going to eat the matzah yet, but what we're going to do, what we do here, is we have to hide the matzah.

Yeah, vagina. I think it's different. I am pretty much stuck back here. I need a volunteer to hide.

I will hide the matzah. Will you hide the matzah? I think only on your show should the matzah be hidden inside of a Norifus.

Okay. But just don't make it just crack up. All right, so we're going to really hide it somewhere. Yeah, hide it somewhere over there.

With all these cameras. Okay, we've already hidden the eggs. Spread your legs, Missy. Okay.

There we go. That's hidden. No, no, no. Oh, take it somewhere.

Take it somewhere over there. But don't, nobody look. Everybody looks out there. No one's going to look.

All right, we're going to go on here. So we're hiding the apicoman, is what it's called. And this is really a part of the Seder that's supposed to keep the kids entertained

because don't look at where he's hiding the apicoman. But if you find it, you can ransom it for sex toys. Ooh. From adult play parlor.

So close your eyes. Don't, don't. And also, we're also going to be looking for Easter eggs. So isn't it funny that you have hiding the apicoman

and hiding the Easter eggs on these two holidays? It's all about the adults hiding secrets, the mysteries of life. And what are the mysteries?

Sex, sex, sex, sex from the children. The eggs, you know, hiding the eggs, baby. Yeah. So anyway, now we are going on to the four questions.

And this is actually a tradition that is said by the youngest here. So I'm sure the youngest here probably doesn't know Hebrew. Are you the youngest here? You probably are.

It's in English, too. You can read it in English. So it's on page eight. It's called The Four Questions.

And it, yeah, is that page? Yep, page eight, yep. Okay, the four questions. So you can just read it, Natalie.

Okay? You need a microphone, though. Okay, let's make sure Natalie's microphone is good. Natalie is our youngest here tonight, 18 years old.

18. I know, huh? She's not allowed to drink the wine. Okay, here we go.

Take it away, Natalie. Okay. On all other nights, we either leave in bread or matzah on leave in. On this night, why only leave in bread?

That's leavened. It's very good. You wouldn't know. It's a weird word, but it's unleavened or leavened bread.

And it's matzah, matzah. Okay, except that now you're not going to say it anymore. That's already done. So move on.

Okay, number two. On all other nights, sweet herbs of any kind. On this night, we only bitter herbs. Very good.

She didn't say herbs. See? Okay, very good. Move on.

Four questions. Number three. Yep. You're moving this way.

I know it's all backwards. So it's like the bizarro world. Number three. On all other nights, we do not dip our herb even once.

On this night, we do. We do. Why do we dip them twice? See, didn't I dip the herb twice?

And see, they're calling it herb. Excuse me? Herb? Okay, go on.

On all other nights, we eat our meals in any manner. On this night, we do. Why do we sit around the table together and reclining positions? We're reclining.

Right. I have a different version. Okay, it's true we have these different versions. It's true.

Speak into the microphones, but that's a very good point. We have different versions because these are from different generations. Okay, so now that was very good. Corpse, do you remember the four questions in Hebrew?

Yes. Do you want me to just do it from memory? I mean... I'll do it with you.

Well... I mean, can you read it in Hebrew? Or they have it in like transliterated back here or something. I've had too much wine.

Okay. No, you can do it along with me. I just want to know which of the tunes do you know? Very good, keep doing it like that.

Okay. You could even get something in there like some vulgarities. I was trying to get my website in there. Okay, sure.

Amen. Amen. All right. So now that four questions basically in a real Seder. Well, I shouldn't say real. This is a real Seder. But in a traditional Seder, it is real. We are real in a traditional Seder. We we we now tell the story of the leaving from Egypt, the Exodus, Exodus of the movie story is a very, very compelling story about how the Hebrews were slaves in Egypt. They

had come into Egypt, if you know the Bible, Joseph came into Egypt because his brothers sold him in him into slavery, a lot of slavery going on. And there's still a lot of slavery going on, you know, except it's voluntary here at the speakeasy, right, consensual. But anyway, back then it wasn't, you know, they would just, you know, do it to people

that didn't want it. And Joseph, the brother didn't want it. And they threw him into slavery, but he worked his way up in the Egyptian hierarchy. And he became like a prince. And when there was a famine in the land, he had all the food. So he invited his brothers over and and they hung out in Egypt and they stayed there and they

were fruitful and multiplied. Why? Why the fuck not exactly because they fucked a lot. Yeah, it rhymes. What are you in the desert? You know, you fuck. Yeah, exactly. And this was in Egypt, which, you know, they fucked even more because there's nightclubs there and stuff. Yeah. Oh, yeah. All the belly dancing. Very

sexy times. So they fucked a lot. And so they were they were many. And so the Pharaoh was worried that, you know, gosh, these people are going to take over. It's like, it's like Hispanics in Los Angeles, I think. Right? What is it like? I'm pretty sure the whole entertainment industry is going to

take over. Well, something. Yeah. So he got very upset. And this was, you know, in the days when the Pharaoh was a God, and he could do anything he wanted. So you'll Brenner, actually. Yeah, the Pharaoh was a God totally. He was the Pharaoh back there. And he was a God. And so he he just said, Okay, you

guys are all slaves, you know, and and so the Egyptians got to take them slaves and they built the pyramids, except none of this actually happened. Really? I mean, except in, you know, the imaginations, the collective imaginations of the great Jewish people. But no, this

there's no historical evidence of this. And the Egyptians were obsessive chroniclers. And there is no evidence that any of this happened in Miami at this time. Exactly. A lot of people didn't know that already. So, you know, but hey, it's it's cool. You

know, story. It is. It's a great story. It's a story about slavery, and eventual freedom. So going along with the story, knowing that it's all a bunch of bubkis. So the the Pharaoh says, you know, you're all going to be slaves. And also, by the way,

all the the the first born sons are going to be killed. And and that's when yep, you want to give her a microphone? Not really, but okay. Or actually, is this a this is a handheld? Okay, there you go. So yeah, so, so yeah. So the the Egyptian, what

you say? Pass over this is what we're celebrating. That's true Missy. Okay, they weren't passing over quite yet. Oh, but no, not quite yet. But that's similar, because later on, they're going to kill some some sons. Actually, God's going to do it.

Right now, it's the Pharaoh. It's very confusing, because you're not sure who's the good guy and who's the bad guy, except supposedly God is the good guy, right? So anyway, when the Pharaoh declares that all the sons, first borns, all the

all the little baby boys have to be killed. This mother of Moses sends him out in a basin. And Pharaoh's daughter herself picks him up on the Nile River and takes care of him. And then later on, he goes on to do a major motion

picture with Dreamworks. So you know, it's a success story, right? So anyway, that movie was called Prince of Egypt. Exactly, Prince of Egypt. So he comes back, you know, it's again, comes back to life almost because he acted like he

was dead, a lot of this mummy thing, and coming back to life, a lot of zombie thing going on. And when he comes back, he sees all of the Hebrews are slaves. And he, he has to liberate them. He goes through a bunch of stuff. He

kills an Egyptian taskmaster, you know, beginning of some murder in mayhem here. But then he comes back and he says, what does he say? Let my people go, my people come, my people come. My people come. Yeah. When Egypt wasn't. Yeah. Let my

people come. You bet. And so, so Pharaoh says, no, he says, no, he actually does this whole thing with snakes. I'm going to bring out my snake a little later. But yeah. So why? Yeah. And, and, and there's this whole magic trick thing. And

Moses proves that God is the best, you know, magician or whatever. And then Pharaoh still won't let the people go. So what does God do? What God does next is a very archetypal part of the Seder. What he does is he casts 10 plagues upon the

Egyptians. Now, you know, these are pretty horrible plagues. But you know, that's what what happens, you know, and he cast these plagues upon the Egyptians. And, and it's not like, I mean, the Egyptians are kind of innocent people. It's

kind of, kind of like their collateral damage in this thing. I always felt like the, you know, there's always a lot of collateral damage in the Bible. The Hebrew Bible is filled with murder and mayhem. And most of it is commanded

by God. And yet there is a recognition that somehow this is a little bit wrong. And so we spill some of our wine. So fill up your cups because we're going to have the next cup of wine soon. And, and then before you drink it, we're

going to spill some of it. Oh, you can drink it. It's all right. We already said the prayer. You like that sweet wine, huh? Yeah. Okay, so can I have some in here? Yeah. Yeah, I will pass out if I have the man of Shavitz.

Right. Okay. I'll have a little for you, Dr. Sidney. Oh, thank you so much, Bunny. Yes, Missy Bunny. Here, you can pass this down. Okay, yes. Yes, Corpsy, you may do the plagues. Would you like to do them in English or in

Hebrew? I'd like to do them in English. In English. All right. Just because then we can all understand what the hell we're saying. Right, right. Okay. What you're going to do is you're going to dip your fingers in your

wine. Yeah. And as I say each play, you're going to splatter the blood, like menstrual blood on your plate. Menstrual blood, yes. Menstrual blood. Okay, you ready? Everyone? Okay. Everyone, dip your

fingers. And you're supposed to be kind of losing a little bit of pleasure giving up something. Yeah. Because of the suffering of others. Yeah. But if you're turned on by it, and that's works too. If

you have an orgasm, it's part of the show. All right, hold on. Let me see. You ready? Okay, the first plague. Blood. Would be blood, huh. Dumb. Frogs. I'm doing it in Hebrew. Frogs.

There are men. Breasts. Oh, no, it's beasts. Cattle disease. Boils or herpes. Locusts or crabs. Oh, God. Slaying of the first born. See, there's where the Passover comes in. Missy.

I always suck my fingers at the end, you know, which you're not really supposed to do. I remember my mother and she says, don't suck your fingers, not at this point, you know. Anyway, then I put them in my

panties and I was such a naughty girl. I was caught masturbating at the Passover table a few times. And my mother would say, Susie, take your hands out of your pants because your hands are

dirty and it's clean down there, which was not bad because my hands probably were covered with, you know. How do you recreate the moment of masturbation at the Seder table? Also, well, we could do that.

I think we should make that a tradition. Yeah, we could have some masturbating at the Seder table, actually. Uh-oh. Her cross melted, by the way. Yes, we have white chocolate on breast. Oh. We have white chocolate on breast.

Oh, Jesus, that's good. Oh, okay. I was gonna lick it, but oh, you have a white chocolate cross going on. Very good. Okay. This is the best Seder I've ever looked at. Yummy, yummy, yummy. Okay, so moving right along. Are you following along at home? Just curious. Yeah. You should be doing

this at home. You should be dipping your fingers in salt water. Right. Okay, so now we have the plagues and now we come to a very, very important part of Seder. A fun part of Seder called Dianoo. Okay. The Jewish people know what Dianoo is. Do you know what Dianoo is, Corpse? I live for Dianoo. Okay. I'm gonna Dianoo to death tonight.

Did you ever do Dianoo Persian style? I've done a lot of things Persian style, but Dianoo, I don't know. Can you do Dianoo Persian? What is? Yes, yes, yes. Dianoo is definitely done Persian style and I believe we should have another Jesus up on the cross for this. It doesn't have to be. You could do it again if you like or. I'm Jewish. It's too redundant to put

me on the cross. Can we have someone else can go on the cross? No, you've already been on the cross. I mean, you haven't. Oh, should you go back? You want to go back or someone else could be on. Let's put someone else, you know, on the cross. If someone else will go on the cross, will someone else go on the cross? Any volunteers who would like to be on the cross? Who would

like to be on the cross? You only get to be Jesus once. Once you go Jesus, you never go back. So, okay, you would like to do it now? All right. All right. Very good. She'll make a very sexy. Okay. So now Natalie will be on the cross so we can remove the girls and corpses body part. Now, okay. Do we whip Jesus? You know,

Jesus is beaten quite a bit. I'm sorry. This is part of Dianoo. No, thank you very much. Thank you. It's a leading. Yes, it is. This is part of the Persian style Dianoo. So first we're going to tie you to the cross and I think you should wear the bunny ears. Is vagina different than Dianoo? You know, I think it's related. I think, you know,

there's there's an etymology there going on. Yeah. So, okay, so Dianoo is the part where you say Dianoo means it would have been enough for us. It would have been enough for us. And there's a there's a melody that you sing. And actually, it's a very easy melody. So I think everybody will be able to sing it. There's only one word, which is Dianoo. So it goes die, die,

anew, die, die, anew, die, die, anew, die, anew, die, anew, die, anew, die, die, anew, die, die, anew, die, die, anew, die, anew, die, anew, die, anew. Okay. And so you got that. Okay. So we, yeah, exactly. You don't have to do all that. But you can if you get possessed. I'm just asking, sorry. Yes. Speaking in tongues. Right. Okay. So now, we are going to get the

Scallions. Right? Who is going to get in charge of the Scallions here? Is this an Italian say, or what? And maybe you should move over here. Okay. Okay. Yeah. We do musical chairs here. Scallions? Scallions. I don't remember the Scallions. Well, because you were not brought up in a Persian Jewish household. Neither was I. This was not something I was brought up in,

you know, Ashkenazi, Philadelphia. And, and so we didn't grew up with the Scallions on Dianoo. We like Dianoo because we like the tune. But it wasn't that big of a deal. But you don't eat them. You don't eat them. No, you don't eat them. No. So we're going to get Scallions now. Scallions are definitely a very important part of Persian Jewish Pesach. And we have very

large Scallions that we use here. And what you do, they're leaks. They're kind of Scallions. Okay. And they're in the league families. The same family. Is there another one? I need one. Oh, my, it smells. Oh, okay. So they're kind of like the palms from Jesus's palms Sunday, right? Teja, we need a couple more over here. We need a couple more Scallions. You can have my Scallions

in Persian. Well, all right. But everyone should have one up here at the last supper table. Oh, there we go. Okay. Here we go. Thank you, Teja. Thank you, Bunny. Okay. And yes, okay. And yes, okay, very good. It's a little limp. So, and anyway, so this, it does remind me of Palm Sunday, but it's a ceremony that was actually introduced to

be by Rabbi Shmueli Boteach, who is the author of Kosher Sex, and is running for, I think Congress from New Jersey or something. Anyway, he introduced me to this tradition, and he used the much smaller Scallions in his family thing. I just kind of, you know, go for, I'm a, can you say that in the microphone, please? Yeah. Okay. Here's your microphones

right over there. Yeah. Exactly. So we have, we have big leaks here, but it is in the Scallion family. Yeah, take a leak. Right. I think I'm going to beat her with my Scallion. I think it's very... Well, okay. Oh, too early? I'm sorry. Again, foreshadowing. Foreshadowing. Right. Now, I think for this part, we should stand because it is, you know, we don't want to just hit the

shoulders here because the shoulders are a little, you know, delicate. And this is the Diana we're going to, on the chorus, the beating our partner to the right first, and then our partner to the left. So you would, I guess, I guess we're going to go right down the row to Jesus here, who doesn't get to beat anybody because that's the paschal lamb, that's Jesus, the sacrifice, who sacrificed

for our sins and doesn't get to beat anybody. So you are going to beat on Jesus. Okay. I'm going to beat on him. Can I be Pontius Pilate and beat her up? Well, you know, not yet. We have to have some more wine for that. Okay. But, okay. So basically, we have a few verses that I guess I'll sing. I don't know, of course, you know these verses. Also, of course, this is supposed to

resemble the beating of the Hebrew slaves by the Egyptian taskmasters. This is great. We know. Okay. So here we go. So I'll do the verse first. And then on Diana, we start the beating. Okay. And in the middle of Diana, we turn around and beat the other way. Okay. So Okay. Now we turn around.

Okay. So next verse is new. And God, I want to be a Persian. Wait, wait, one more verse, I think. God, it smells. I know it smells like onions, doesn't it? But it is, but we're not. It smells like

Persian ass. This is really strong. Oh, I forgot. We should do the other way. Okay. And Diana, Diana, Diana, Diana, Diana, Diana, Diana, Diana, Diana. Wow. So it smells like.

It does smell like onions. I think we need to perfume the environment somehow. That's such a sexy smell. Persian ass. You know, it is strong. Well, you know what? We're going to interrupt the order of the Seder and have that other cup of wine right now. I think it's a great idea. Okay. Okay. So here we go. Put the onions down. Okay. And

you should do it in the microphone. You sound really good. You sound like you got an Arabic accent when you do it. I wonder why. Okay. So let's do that again. Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Here. Oh, hold it.

Amen. Amen. I'm horny. Oh, sorry. What is this? Mmm. Okay. Now it doesn't matter what we do next. To the wine. So the matzah. Oh, the bitter herbs. Let's just just talk about the bitter herbs for a moment, which I dress up. In fact, I would

like to have the other one. That's crazy idea that I like. Because you know the bitter herbs, of course. Now, Cropsey, when you grew up with Seder as a child, did you have the white horse radish or the red? We had the horse radish root and we would shave that root and it would really kick your ass. It's very strong. Wow. You were very authentic. Very good. No, because real horse

radish is very potent. It's very, very potent. Do you have a, okay, talking to the mic, close to the mic. It's very, very potent. This is horse radish and it's, I love it. It's very delicious. It goes with the foods of Passover, which include lamb, the pascal lamb, and the gefilte fish. By the way, Lisa, tell Helen somebody should put the gefilte fish

on a plate and that'll take away the smell of the onions because the fish is even worse. Let me tell you. The smells of Passover are terrible, okay? It's like a thousand-year-old Persian fart is really the... I think the mummy is starting to sweat. A mummy fart smells better than Passover.

I'm going to pass out from this smell. Okay, so here we have my version of the white, which is actually a little stronger, a little hotter, and the red. And I think it's so pretty that it looks like an ice cream parfait. It's a brilliant idea. I've never seen that. I know. Some people would just think it's something sweet and it's something that just

kicks your ass. Kills your sinuses. But it's very good for your sinuses, actually. So anyway, what does it represent? It represents the pain. The suffering. It represents the suffering on the cross. Yes? Well... Well, that was Jesus. That's... Well, okay. But that's... It's the suffering of the slaves.

It was the fact that you couldn't get a good pastrami sandwich in the desert. There was a lot of pain from that. That's that too. A lot of suffering. Right. You know, all suffering, the smallest thing from, you know, deli ineptitude to bleeding to death on a cross, whatever it is. If you're suffering,

you're crying. You're, you know, it's bad. It's just really bad. You know, you feel bad for yourself. You know, I'm just going to say, you know, more Jews were crucified than anybody else on the cross. I just thought I'd mention that. Fun fact. Thank you. Fun fact. Thank you. All right. And we're still being

crucified, but... That's right. ...only psychologically. Psychologically. Okay. That is a fun fact. Anyway, that is a fun fact. And another fun fact is that the Latin word

pasio means to suffer. And it is the same root as the root of the word passion, right? A passion is to suffer. So when we suffer for God and we suffer as the Hebrews suffered under slavery and Christ suffered on the cross for our sins as a sexual submissive suffers for their dom as I suffer for you. That's right. You. Every day.

Yep. So that's what it's all about. Suffering. We live to suffer. Many of us do, especially Jews and Catholics. Yeah. Everybody. I mean, all the guilt. Everything. Anyway, so this puts it in, in an herb. This puts it into something that you can eat and enjoy in a kind of sick suffering sort of way.

Well, bring on baby, let's taste this. Yeah, we're going to do this. And yeah, we're actually going to do this now. So I'm going to give this to you because this side goes to you. Okay. And what is that? Oh, that's like a filter fish. It goes on. We're not having that yet. It goes on the filter. It does go on the

filter fish, but first there's the ritual eating on the matzo where it tastes terrible. You're right. That's right. That's what we have to do first. Okay. So you are correct, ma'am. But before we do that, we have to wash our hands again because we've got filthy dirty. I've been fingering her over here.

I got to wash my hands. Well, I myself, my skirt just fell off. All right. Well, you know, I think now skirts are allowed to fall off. You have your cock. You can bring your cock out. I would like to see more tits at the table. Okay. All right. All right. Fuck it. Tits at the table.

Okay. Oh, you mean the girls? Okay. No, you could show tits. Are we going to go down the line? Well, you know, I being in the center feel that I should be the first to show nipple. You should. And we didn't do this at our household because Aunt Sadie, her breasts would hit the cavelta fish. Okay. And so, but this is a tradition that we have here of

the showing of the tits. Yeah. The showing of the tits should be a part of every, every satyr. So would you like to show, to do the showing of the tits? I would be honored. Thank you. Missy Martinez. Should I pray? Okay.

Should we dip her nipples in the salt water? Well, we wash our hands just in case we get to touch her tits. We have clean hands. Hallelujah. Okay. Oh, we have it. Oh, that's a crummy looking. Would you drop the towel in the water? Bad bunny. That bunny needs to have a scallion all across her ass. I'm going to spank her with the scallion. Yeah, we should spank that bunny

with a scallion. All right. But bunny, the other people need to wash their hands. Okay. Missy is the first to unveil the show on the teal. Everyone raise your glass to her, to Missy's breast. She's taking her time. She is. Okay. That's like a satyr. It always takes a long time.

This isn't a peep show. Just drop the f***ing prayer. There we go. There you go. There you go. God bless America. All right. Oh, everyone. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. Let me just move this. You could move the scallions over somewhere. Are they the whipping of the breast with the scallions part of the purging?

We are going to whip with scallions later. Okay. This is the body of Christ right here. We're going to partake in. It really looks like a, it's a dick that already came. I thought it was a T-bone steak made out of pancake. Okay. Excuse me. This is a California dick. Okay. Teja made this. It is the body of Christ. And the body of Christ is a penis. Okay.

Are they watching this at the Vatican right now? I'm just curious. Do you think we're a big hit right now in Jerk and Off in Italy? And you notice the confetti look? It's a, it's, I don't know though. This dick has definitely exploded. Okay. So what is it exactly made of? I believe that's made of, it looks like fish of some kind. Okay. Looks like pancake. Okay. We're

interrupting the showing of the titty. Yes. Let's interrupt that. So who would be the next volunteer for the showing of the titties? Miss Veronica. Miss Veronica. Veronica Ricci. Veronica Ricci. Yeah, of course. Veronica Ricci. Brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners. Hallelujah. Hallelujah.

I'm going to hell for this. Amen. They're covered in chocolate. Jews don't believe in hell, by the way. So, oh Lord, she's got some of the cross chocolate on her nipples. Oh, she's been touched by Jesus. She's got nipples on her peanut butter. She's got peanut butter on her nipples. All right. Very beautiful. Very beautiful. Okay. And the showing of the titty.

Continues. She can't show her titties. Has she been operated on? No titties? Your titties are so small. No, you know, we like, listen. We like small titties. Let me tell you, when you're been in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights, you're, any breasts. You know, and, and, no, it's not, that's not a good thing to say. No, we like small breasts. Any breasts? What are you

doing? What? I like small breasts. Exactly. That you should have said before. Now we don't believe you. That's right. But I do love small breasts. I love small breasts. Don't be a shame. We like small breasts. Aphrodisiac, can you please speak up, speak up for the small titty contingent? Small titty committee. Small titty committee. It's fierce, bitch. You can fit the

whole thing in your mouth. I love it. Champagne boobies. Champagne boobies. Awesome. I want to see them. I want to see. For Cropsey. For Cropsey and Elijah. For Cropsey. I don't know the Easter Bunny. The Easter Bunny. You know what? There's no such thing. The little, the better. No pressure, but, but if you, but if you don't take it off, Jesus is going to die again on the cross.

All right. No pressure though. Big titty committee. Okay. Okay. Oh, yeah. That's what I'm talking about. All right. Oh, very nice. She has extraordinary titties. This is the best sater I have ever been to intimidate some people. So I don't know. I, I, those are very nice titties. You should suck them at least, right? Okay. This is part of the sater ritual is sucking of the titty.

This is better than the last supper. I swear to God, this is so hot. Yeah. Okay. So Aphrodisiac, maybe you could, you could encourage, uh, there is no such thing as too small breastages. They're all beautiful because. Wow. Is there a prayer that we can say right now? Thank God.

Okay. So now we are actually going, no, Aphrodisiac titty. You can open up your shirt. Yeah. See, if I have to show my titties, then you got to bless your titties out, yo. And you know what? I'll tell you what. I will show my titties if you show your titties. If I show my titties, will you show yours? I'm going to take my shirt off. Is that,

can I take your shirt off? You're inspiring Corpsey. Okay. Hold on. The smell of onions, there might be a worse smell now. This is where the ratings go down. Hold on. I didn't open my leg. Okay. He had to take his shirt off for this. Uh, no, his hat came off. Are you taking your shirt off? Very good. Very good. Take your shirt off.

Did your shirt come off without your jacket coming off? I was going to say, how does your jacket shirt come off? I've had too much of the holy one. I know, me too. All right. It's the last supper, brothers and sisters. Don't make a mess. Oh yeah. Tits, baby. Oh yeah. That's what I'm talking about.

Yeah. Milk. Oh yeah. Beautiful. Beautiful. It's a hot night. Oh my God. I need to point out. I need to point out that Corpsey is deceptively hairy. Corpsey is what? Deceptively hairy. Only on one side. Only on one side. I'm not hairy on the, wait, hold on. Why do you say deceptively hairy? He doesn't look like he would be hairy.

No, he looks, he definitely looks hairy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm fucking Jewish. Oh yeah, he's, he's, that's all I want to say. Okay, anyway, now I've taken my shirt off and let me tell you. No, she showed her. That's a, did you show yours? I wasn't paying attention.

I missed Aphrodisiacs. I was busy watching his Jewish hairy ass here. So let me, let me see yours. You know, I'm very turned on right now by my own nipples. I am turned on by Aphrodisiac. I'm very turned on. See, these are the original Ethiopian Jews. Right here. The original Ethiopian Jews.

Those are very beautiful. They're very beautiful. I like, can you get a shot with the yarmulke? Jesus, those are hot. The whole thing. Jesus hot. Oh yeah. Oh, and hard. Jesus Christ, those are hot. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Okay. All right. So now we don't, we don't enforce the whole, you have to show your, there's no, nobody has to do anything, but I'm just curious.

Can you have a microphone? Do we have a mic? I have a mic. Okay. Why, I thought you're a porn star. You're a porn star that won't show her titties. You are so beautiful though. I'm not a porn star. You're gorgeous. And I think that I like just small little nipples are gorgeous. I am. Okay. It's a holy thing. I mean, I just want brothers and sisters, that's why

we were pushing her a little bit because she already is. You know what, I have never taken my shirt off on the show, but I'm not like we would push. You have really nice titties. Aphrodisiac. Do I? Aphrodisiac. No, these are actually implants. Max is going to get jealous. Well, he has really nice pink nipples. He does. I do. I do. Actually, as men get older,

they're very small. Yeah, I stay in bed for days. Do the close up. Thank you. And you don't have a cross between your tits, but you do have some. Let me tell you, Hugh Heffner doesn't do this to Playboy. Just want to mention. We're actually supposed to drink the next cup of wine now, but I think we already did that.

Doesn't matter. So we're going to have the the the matzah. Let's get. Okay. I got some matzah here. So take take a piece of matzah. Everybody take a piece of matzah. I don't have matzah. Everybody take a piece. Okay. And you ever had matzah brine? Okay. So we're now going to just eat the matzah. I love matzah. I actually hope you got the good kind, the kind with the onion

that you're not supposed to eat on Passover because it's like don't eat it yet. I know, everybody's like that. You know, it's just like the kids at the Seder table. They always eat the matzah before they're supposed to. Okay. Where's we need the bitter herb? I mean, no, no. First you eat the matzah by itself, which is really awful. So just have a little bite.

It's not bad. The matzah by itself. Well, because I have I got onion salty. You know, that's very good. Excuse me. Don't eat it yet. I'm a titty fucking Jesus right now. Okay. Very good. Very good. Talk amongst yourselves. Okay. Everyone wash their hands. Okay. So now we're about to go on to page 27.

Baruch atadonai Eloheinu melech olam. Arshar kitchan obimitz votav vitzivanu al ahilat matzah. So just have a bite of the matzah. It was very dry. Have some water. Part of Passover is never knowing what page you're on. Exactly. It's a very important part is to be confused. Okay. So now we're going to eat the

matzah and the maror, the bitter herbs. Okay. So now we take the parfait and we take a little bit of it. And we just put it on our matzah. Put it on the matzah. And the red stuff is not as strong. Here, take a little bit. I don't say that you have to take your top off, nor do I say that you have to eat the maror, by the way. But your fans will know

if you don't eat the maror, you're not hardcore. That's right. Thank you, Amina. Wasn't maror one of the characters in the hard part. You don't eat the maror, you're not hardcore. And if you don't take your top off, I don't know what you are. But you should be free to be whatever you want to be. You should be. You should be. That's why

not everybody has to take their top off. Your top's on. Well, you know, my top is not off, but my titties are out. And I have similar little, you know, smaller virgins. Dr. Susie has the breasts of a 16-year-old girl. Thank you very much. Give her an extra sex toy. And let me mention, and the vagina of a 12-year-old boy, actually, the vagina of a 12-year-old boy.

Wow. And the asshole of a 12-year-old boy. I mean that seriously. Was I asleep when you found that out? Don't tell Max. I guess so. All right. Okay, so now we have the bitter herb, barocca Now I want to say, when you eat this, it will go up your nose and out your eyes. So be very careful. Come on, Elijah, get this thing down here. Okay, let's get this stuff down here. This is a good

stuff. Okay, everybody get a little of this on your cracker. I would advise the people who are out in the audience, if you're not, you know, afraid of your own shadow, afraid of your own sexuality coming out your eyes, take a piece of matzah and some bitter herbs and cry. I know, I see you looking at each other going, do we have to do that? No, you don't. But you should have the

experience. Okay, okay, forget, fuck you all. Okay, so we're all gonna do this. Okay, barocca She's made cut. What's going on over there? She licked it off her. She licked off her more. Okay, give her some more. Oh, she's got the whole cup over there. In her hand. Have some more. Oh, you snorted it. Jesus. She is a Maror addict.

One of the Harry Potter characters that people don't remember. Wow. Oh, my God. That'll get you in the ass. Some strong shit, baby. Need more wine. I love it, Dr. Seuss. More wine. It's good. I mean, I would know how to eat it in.

Horse radish is so good. But it's holy Christ. It sneaks up on you. I don't even like Tapatio. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It's I know it's a little different than the Mexican hot sauce. It's more in the family of Japanese. It's like the Japanese. What is it? Wasabi wasabi. It's a little bit like that. It's mustard. It's a mustard. Okay. And that is the bitter herbs,

which, you know, I've always liked that part of the Seder. So, okay, so now where are we eating the bitter herb and the matzah and the sandwich. This is the origination of the sandwich is you put, you take some matzah, take two little pieces of matzah. And now this stuff is actually pretty good. In fact, we should just, you know what? I've always, we should just have some of this by

itself. Okay. So just, this is, you want to explain what that is or do you want to explain? It's wine though. I can't give it to her. No, it's apples and walnuts and raisins. Yeah, but it's got wine in it. It does. You're not supposed to eat it. Who's not supposed to eat it? The 18 year old Natalie. What state are we in?

California. I think we're in Indiana right now. It's okay. The age of consent is 16. Right, right. Maybe instead of the, I know, you know what? You know what? The thing is, it's the forbidden fruit. It's because we can't see it. We want to see it so bad. I know, but we can't. I know, I'm seeing it, but I have X-ray vision.

All right. So you just have, you just have to have matzah. Yeah. Okay. So you have to have some of this and put it on a little piece of matzah. It's so good. It's very good. It's, it's, well, you know, you can use your spoon. It's like Jewish strudel, which is kind of a redundant. I can tell you like your matzah.

Look at this tiny little piece you've got here. Yeah. How am I going to put some? We like to sing Adelweiss when we're serving this. Sorry about that. Adelweiss, Adelweiss. Every morning you're killing me. Okay. Here, here, here. I'm going to have some here. Okay. Thank you. And here. It's all going all over the place.

And this is, this is the good times. This is when Jews got down in parking. Okay. So there's some over there, you guys. Here. Dr. Suzy, can I eat more matzah with horseradish? Well, you know what? This next one, you can eat the horseradish with the, with the mixture. This,

this is, by the way, kharoset. And I actually made this. I'm not much of a cook, but this, I'm really good at. You chop, although Anna, Anna helped me. She chopped the apples and the dates. It's got, okay, the tradition is apples and nuts. And, and, and wine, and wine. And this does have the Manashevitz in it. Right. And, and these children, excuse me, children

are eating before the prayer. Okay. Okay. So anyways, that's a butt plug for them. I, I add stuff to it because I just feel good about that. So I, I make it apples, nuts, mixed nuts, not just the walnuts, wine, Manashevitz, and raisins. And this year I added cranberry raisins and dates. Okay. And you can eat this with, you're supposed to actually eat it with the bitter herbs,

because this is the mortar. This is supposed to look like the mortar that the Hebrew slaves used to build the pyramids before they were liberated. It was actually semen that held the pyramids together. A lot of people don't know that. I did not know that. Fun fact. Thank you very much, Corpsee. Yep. Okay. Are we ready to eat yet? Okay. We're ready. Okay, Barocha, Taranai,

Lojena, Malhala, Borre, Perica, Rosette. Rosette. Who bear? Oh. It's good stuff. Delicious. It's like compote. It's like compote. Not compote. Well, it's like a fruit salad. Really? No, no. It's kind of a fruit salad. Okay. So now I think we're supposed to have another cup of wine. Okay. Barocha, okay. You got your wine? Here we go.

I don't remember drinking this much at my Passover. This is a whole different. Okay. You don't have to drink a whole cup. And there was no smoking pot out of a woman's vagina. That was never with Aunt Sadie. I swear to God. Okay. Well, Aunt Sadie did that in the back room. Oh, God. You weren't allowed. Barocha, Taranai, Lojena, Malhala, Borre, Perica, Agha, Ben, Amen, Amen.

Okay. So now we are actually supposed to eat the Passover meal. So where's the lamb? Wait. You want to mention the lamb bone, though? Okay. Actually, let me just give a heads up to the the speakeasy backstage staff that we now should have the lamb. And at this point, we're going to discuss lamb and have the lamb and have the lamb of God. And we are into... Oh, hello.

Oh, look at this. The lamb of God is right here. And this is the Paschal lamb. This is Faye, uh, Exeter's slave girl. So thank you, Lord Exeter, for providing your slave girl to be Jesus. Who is after all... We have different Jesuses tonight. Max is Jesus. Veronica was Jesus. Now... Oh, Natalie Fox, yes. You were also Jesus. And now Faye is Jesus. And you see how our

Jesus is gradually coming to life. This Jesus is naked. Okay. Oh, Jesus Christ. And she is wearing the cross. She is wearing also the ritual bunny ears. Jesus is fucking hot. Okay. And Jesus is beautiful. Beautiful. Thank you, Faye. And why wasn't Jesus a woman? Why wasn't Jesus a woman? You know, in a way, Jesus was a woman. Jesus is extremely androgynous. I mean, you compare Jesus

to Moses. Well, you know, in those days, I mean, you weren't going to have an actual woman do anything, except Esther or, you know, a few. But to really be the savior of humankind, where's the microphone? You got to be a dude. Who wants to speak here? I hear you. Esther is the only book in the Bible that doesn't say the word God, or is... You have all these interesting factoids running

around in your bunny ears. And she's got great tits. She does. Very full of factoid girl. Very beautiful. Yes. I'm sitting here with like a parfait. We have a huge tray of lamb. Well, we could just, we could have a little bit of lamb. Just put a little, a little, let's bring a little lamb here. Let's have a little lamb. And we, because we have the pascal lamb, we're going to end very

shortly. We are going to end, but we need to have a little bit of lamb, just one piece each, because this is the pascal lamb. We have to eat. You know, when, when they would do sacrifices in the old days, it would be a lamb. I mean, in the old, old days, it would be a human being. Okay? They would sacrifice a human being, but one of the... A girl. A girl. You would just hope

that. No, I wouldn't get rid of a girl. You want to get rid of this? I killed some ugly guy in the village. I wouldn't kill these. Exactly. Well, I think it would be, it would go back and forth. They would sacrifice different kinds of humans depending on the mood. Virgin sacrifices. Most of them were virgin sacrifices. Right. Are there any virgins at this table? Maybe the 18-year-old.

Oh, she's in porn. She's in porn. No, you're not a virgin, but you won't show your tits. I'm a virgin. Okay. Aphrodisiac, explain that. No. For Passover, you're a virgin. You look like one with your little yarmulke. You look like a little bacher-toe. You know what that means? Me as a good boy. Bacher-toe. Bacher-toe. Do you want to mention those lamb bones? Why the

purpose of the lamb bones are there? The shank. Okay, yeah. Actually, and you know what we got here? There's a reason for those. Okay. This is the bone of the lamb. But actually, this one isn't. It's really a meat bone. But it doesn't really matter, my mother said. No. You can put any kind of bone there, right? Bones are bones. Bones are bones. Okay. And we happen to get a big

bones. A bunch of lamb that didn't involve bones. It looks like a cock ring though. But anyway, it does. Someone could use this as a cock ring, actually. It's a little small, Oh, what's this? Lamb? These are pieces of Jesus right here. Okay. My glasses are on here. I should take those off. Okay. Let's have a piece of Jesus. This is the pascal lamb. Oh, no. I was going to

say put a piece on here. But okay. No. Yes. Thank you. Okay. You don't know what to do. She is the original Shekza. Teja. Teja is a bunny. And do you know who was the original Easter Bunny? Mary Magdalene. Right? She was the one who saw Jesus when he was first resurrected. And Jesus was very androgynous, like Dionysus and Bacchus. Jesus had long hair and was very

peaceful and feminine. With the skin of copper. Skin of copper. Yeah, right. Black and black Jesus was black. He was a brother. He was a brother. We have some lamb here now. This is the sacrificial lamb. Okay. Okay. The sacrificial lamb is now on our plate. Make sure she has, okay, she has all this matzah. You got the matzah all over your plate. I like

carbs. Okay. That's too much matzah for you. Can we put this somewhere? Okay. Is that like lamb sausage? What the hell is that? It's like a vienna. Oh, it's a carrot. It's a vienna sausage. It's a vienna sausage. That's what I thought. Okay. So brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, this is the sacrificial lamb that we are eating now. And the portions are the way

to haven't seen her 18 year old nipples. Amen. And women. Women. Okay. How did they get the potatoes in the desert? A lot of people don't know. Jesus made this lamb. That being Max. Oh, thank you. Max made the lamb. I've never eaten lamb before. You've never

eaten lamb? What do you think? It died for your Passover. Kind of like turkey. Kind of like turkey. Right. It's like chicken, isn't it? At least it's not like chicken. You know, a lot of people think vagina is just like chicken. You know what's good with the lamb is the, is the bitter herbs. The tastes like mango. Borat, rosette with the lamb is very good. I think I got a foreskin,

I got a foreskin on my lamb. Is that possible? I have been asked by the children to hurry the Seder along. So I'm going to be doing that. I'm going to just take another bite of lamb. All right. So now we have, well, it's, we're supposed to have more wine. No, never mind. Okay. Actually, right now what we're going to have is the eggs. These are our eggs.

Our ovaries actually. Well, you know, some of us at this table do have ovaries. And some of us don't, for whatever reason. But it's interesting that Seder- There's one in your ovaries right under the table. Oops. Oh, shit. I didn't know it was that intoxicated. But anyway, if you can hold on to your eggs,

folks, and actually one of my Twitter followers asked me if this has to do with, with male eggs, with, with, with testicles, I think it could be either one. I think it could be either the female ovaries. But in those days, I don't know if they knew about females having eggs, but they knew that, that female, you know, hens laid eggs.

So I guess they knew about it. Anyway, is this a female symbol or a male symbol? It's certainly a fertility symbol, brothers and sisters. Yeah. Hallelujah. It is there in the Passover Seder. It is here in the Easter ritual of eggs, eggs. We always look for eggs. And actually, we have eggs hidden. And, and right now what you do is you crack the egg. This is, these are colored

Easter eggs, but we eat the egg with salt water. Where's that salt water? Yeah. Okay. So you put the salt water all over the egg. And it's the tears of the clown. A lot of people don't know that. Fun fact. A lot of bad smelling stuff. Okay. This is about bad smells, brothers and sisters. That is what the Passover is all about. And so this is the egg. Where's the salt water?

Okay. Salt water, please. What do we do here? You dip your egg, you throw some salt water on the egg or you can pour your, you can pour the salt water over your egg is what, is what my family did. Salt water on the egg. Okay. Yeah. You can dip it or pour it. You know, here's your bowl. So you can, uh, and then you're going to eat it. We're going to, actually there is no

prayer for the egg, but I'm going to make one out right now. Okay. The egg is, I think I like thinking of the egg as a female symbol myself. Here we go. Dip your egg. Dip your ovaries in this. Dip your ovaries in this, baby. Wow. Only the white meat. Okay. Are you filming the whole, get my whole table in here. I see myself too much. You know, I want to see some of my apostles

more. Get the, all the apostles in here. Man, that is an egg. Yeah. Yeah. I would like to see. I don't know about Jesus, but I got some hot apostles. All right. So now, Broca, Titanile, Alayna, Melvom, Bore, Peri, Haoverese. That's not very salty. Not enough salt. Need more salt. Need more salt. Hey,

are you following the- How about some amino acids? Are they following a home, are you following along at home kids? It should be following along. I hope so. Okay. All right. So now, we are going to, we should be searching for the aphi-komen now, but the aphi-komen, you hit it. Oh, the monster. And then we're going to do the thing with the sex toys,

with the ransom. The actual, the kids are supposed to find the aphi-komen, and then they ransom it for money, because the Jews are very money-oriented. But here, isn't the winner- Am I being stereotypical right there? I am Jewish. You find the matzah, you get an orgasm, actually, a type of seasonal block. Exactly. But now we're going to

do a different ritual. This involved, we're going to do the finding of the matzah, the aphi-komen in just a minute, because we're going to ransom it for sex toys, and then we're going to play with the sex toys, including the Sybian. Right, brothers and sisters. Can we put Jesus on the Sybian rides? By the way,

I just want to say that in Jewish tradition, it is a mitzvah. What does mitzvah mean, Corpse? Good shot. Happy times. Good deed. Right, happy times. It is a good deed to have sex on a holiday. Okay, so just so that's clear, we are doing good, even though we are blaspheming. All right, so now we are going to have the moment of the, actually, it says the third

cup of wine, but I think this is about our sixth. Okay, so we're going to have Eliah Hohanavi. Okay, Max, where are you? Okay, this is a very important moment, because this is the moment when we sing for Elijah the prophet, and also Jesus, who is on the cross, represented by Faye, who looks beautiful, I might add. She does. And Faye is our Jesus tonight. Faye will

never forget this moment. This is the cup of Elijah, and when I was five years old, I was in the synagogue. Masterbating? You know, that was a different, I didn't masturbate, but that was usually at the family stage. Did you masturbate in the womb? Not probably. Yes. Okay, so do a lot of people masturbate in the womb. That's not unusual. Especially twins. Uh-huh. Didn't everyone,

who else masturbated in the womb? Was I the only one? I masturbated in a womb. Did you masturbate in the womb? I masturbated into so much womb. I can't recall. You can't recall. Oh boy, that's an easy excuse. All right, well, anyway, I masturbated in the womb. I'm sure corpse he did. But we're not in the womb right now. We're going back to a time when I was five years old in the

synagogue. I just want to take a moment to recall this time, because it's kind of on balance with this whole crazy ritual, which is all a really, really kind of fun thing. If you can spin it the way you want it. But I was a child of five years old, and I was being indoctrinated into a raft of bullshit. And here's how it went. I was in a huge synagogue filled with like hundreds

of people, including my family. We spent a lot of money to get a good table. And I was the youngest in the whole synagogue. I was five years old, and everybody else was a little older than me. But I was very precocious. I was very smart. I was on my way to Yale. So I got to sit to hang out in the rabbis arms during Elia who Hanavi, when a big cup of wine was placed in the middle

of all of us kids, a bunch of us, me being the youngest in the rabbis arms and kids five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12 years old, up to puberty, all under all innocent innocent pre-sex. We're all there. And the rabbi asks us if after we sing Elia who Hanavi, Elia who Hateshvi. We sing this song. And Elijah the prophet, who is a predecessor of Jesus, is supposed to

walk into the room just like Jesus resurrected from the dead because Elijah is dead. Jesus is dead if they ever even existed Elijah or Jesus. And now he's supposed to drink from the cup. And now the children are watching the cup and the rabbi says, did you see Elijah drink from the cup? And of course, what is the answer? The answer is yes. Yes, of course, that's the religious

answer that that Elijah did drink from the cup. But I wasn't quite indoctrinated yet. I was only five. My parents hadn't really talked about this much yet or if they had, I hadn't perceived it. And so when the rabbi started with me, because I was number one, and I was in his arms and he said, Susie, I wasn't Dr. Susie then. He said, did you see Elijah drink from the cup?

I looked at the cup. I was very scientific. I said, no, no. He goes, are you sure? I said, no. I didn't see the cup go down in liquid volume. It was the same. I didn't see him drink. And that was okay that the rabbi wasn't sure whether I was right. But then he went on to the next child who was like seven years old who had already been indoctrinated into the myth. And

Sammy said, yes. And he said, good Sammy. And he kind of pinched me hard on the Susie. Did you see Elijah drink from the cup? And I said, no, I didn't see Elijah drink. And he went to each child one after the other. Did you see it? And they were all indoctrinated one after the other. They said, yes, I saw Elijah drink from the cup. I saw it. I saw it with

my eyes. I saw the myth be true. I saw the miracle. I saw Jesus walk off the cross. I saw the dead come back to life. I saw the ghost drink from the cup. I was a scientist. I said, no. And I was in tears by now. I was in fucking tears. And the Rebuson had to take me away because I was ruining the Seder for hundreds of people that were sitting there. And she had to like give me bribes and

shit, you know? And I learned. I learned. I learned that that was when Elijah drinks from the cup. And you have to say, yes, yes, Elijah drinks from the cup. And I learned it. But I never forgot. I never forgot the truth. I never forgot that this is fucking bullshit. But it's fun. It's fun. So, okay. We're going to do it. We're going to have the ritual. Where's Max?

Is he around? Did he go back to sleep? Max is taking a nap. Okay. Anyway, Max, I want you to know that now's the time for Elijah to drink from the cup for Jesus to come back and resurrect himself or erect himself. How's that Syallus doing, Max? Syallus. He's taking Syallus. Now's the time. Okay. So, we're going to do this. You know this one?

I don't know. What are we doing? Okay. I'm so mesmerized by what you were saying. All right. Do the rabbi touch you inappropriately, by the way? Absolutely not. Okay. I'm just checking. Just checking. The Rebuson, though. No. Your girl, of course. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Okay. So, I guess I'm going to sing it. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Here's a little bit of,

by the way, there's a priestly tradition of molestation of children. I want you to know that the molestation of children goes on not just through physical molestation, but through mental molestation. I was mentally molested. I was not physically molested, probably because I wasn't as cute as these bunnies here. But anyway, they mentally molested me.

They told me that Elijah drank from the cup. Elijah doesn't fucking drink from the cup. You know? Anyway, you know, this is what the clergy's all about. And I have a love-hate relationship with all of this. Control-domination bondage. It's all the themes of really your show. You know? That's why I start out by calling out to brothers and sisters. So here we go, brothers and

sisters. And here he is. I'll stand. And now Elijah appears and drinks from the cup. We have a real Elijah. Max, Max, Max, come on, come forth. Here's your cup. I am now interpreting my own Seder.

In my Seder, Elijah is real and I'm married to him. And he's also Jesus and Max, Maximilian, Lubkovitz, Phil and Jerry. Actually, full name. Maximilian Rudolph, Leblavich. Prince Maximilian Rudolph, the Leblavich, the Lubkovitz, the Phil and Jerry is a descendant of Jesus because, okay, that brings up the whole Da Vinci code. But anyway,

where's Max? Okay, here he goes. Okay, here he is. Elijah, the prophet. And we drink to the Seder ending. Okay, so now Max is back. Max is back after his big C battle. Max has battled and won against the big C. Resurrection Day. All right, this is the resurrection of Max. This is

the return of Jesus Christ, zombie to the world. Okay, minus 40 pounds. He left 40 pounds. Can we give a microphone to Max, please? Hello? Max, thank you for joining us above the living. We're now going to all be seated and Max will speak. Okay, I will speak to you. What would you like to hear? We would like to hear your message.

Some Whitney Houston song. The message, yes, yes. My friend Jesus, my relative, my beloved, was one of the first hippies that the world knew. And he spread the word of love and sex, hung out with hookers, you know, just like a good hippie should. He was probably smoking something, but he had a great word for the world and that word was peace.

Peace on earth, peace of ass, a piece of lamb, a piece of something. Cheers. Hallelujah. Peace of lamb. And his followers, his followers who were all so jealous of his standing and the adoration that he had perverted his very simple message of peace, peace, of earth, peace on earth, peace of ass, peace on earth, peace of ass, peace on earth, peace of ass.

It's true. It's a, it's a balance. So what we, what we have come down to through the history since we have created these false gods and goddesses, what we have come down to is society of violence and killing and murder and mayhem on a level that has never been known through the history of humankind. And it's all in the Bible, all that murder and mayhem.

It's all there in the Bible. And it goes on and on and on. And God forbid you've got the wrong God. Somebody's going to smite you or spike you or shoot you. And that's what's happened to a very simple word. Peace. Peace to all. Peace on earth, peace on earth, peace of ass. Peace of ass. And I got a piece of that. I'm all with that.

Here, here. Here, here. Actually, if we could get two pieces, it would be great. I'd like to make, I'd like to make one more plea. Yeah. I mean, just one piece is a little. One more plea to the, the God vagina.

The God vagina. To Natalie. Elijah vagina. I want to, I want to pray to the God vagina to see Natalie's breast before the end of the show. Corpsy has never been denied.

Corpsy, give it a rest. And I think, are you ready to show us Natalie? I'll show you my tits if you suck my dick. Oh, well, if you have a dick, it's the biggest surprise of this Seder.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's a big surprise of Elijah showing up. I, I think that's a nice surprise. All right. Well, I tried. No, well, well, you could, you don't have to say no. You could say yes.

I could say yes. If you, do you have a dick to suck? Yes. Yes, I do. I'm T.S. Pornstar Natalie Faw. T.S. Pornstar Natalie Faw!

Jesus loves you, Natalie. Okay. Okay. All I could say is Jesus Christ. Will I help?

Are you really a tranny? We'll help you. He didn't know. I didn't know.

You're so beautiful. And you're still beautiful. Thank you. You know, Jesus was a tranny.

Jesus was a total tranny. Wait a minute. I have a standing. Alex, you want to come over here? Actually, Veronica would like to suck your dick.

Veronica and Veronica. Veronica has a better set of lips. Oh my God. Come right over here. You can sit on my throne.

All right. The lamb is waiting. The lamb. Okay. Well, the lamb, we're going to have some. Okay, but we'll have it in a minute.

Yeah, I know, but it's getting really awful. It's not too awful. We have a moment of specialness. And we must take it.

So, Veronica, Sister Veronica, come forward. Come forth, Sister. Sister Veronica is cuter than Corpse. Best Seder ever.

Okay, sit. Come here. Come here, Sister Veronica. You are giving of yourself in such a...

Just come sit here. Wow. Corpse is speechless. And actually, that doesn't happen.

Dr. Block will tell you that I'm never speechless. This is a Seder. To remember. Here we go.

If you're still tuned in, if you got past the, uh, the Herosus. Yes. Or the Herosus. That sounds like, yeah, exactly.

Herosus. Okay, Natalie Fox. They're getting to know each other. Brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, we present to you on this very special

spring equinox, Passover, Easter Eve, celebration. Natalie Fox. Sucking the lamb bone. Part of the tradition, part of the tradition.

Max, do you have any words? He doesn't. But we still want to see your, your, your, what's on earth, you know. Talk, talk, talk.

We see, we want to see whatever she wants to show. Just a little piece of something. Thank you. Well, at the moment, I'm not really, like, you know, excited, I guess I can say.

You don't really have to be. Did you have the egg? Maybe she needs more than a Shabbats, because usually in my family. I think she needs more, uh, more Veronica.

Veronica. This might be the after party. I don't know. No, this is, this is definitely the beginning of, of the after party.

But it is Veronica is going to now just kind of get friendly. Veronica is the Easter Bunny. And yes, in this case, Natalie is representing Jesus. Veronica is representing the Mary Magdalene, who is the original Easter Bunny.

And it's also a kind of Passover thing of, uh, Shafdi, and Yadonai. I don't know what you're talking about right now. But isn't, uh, it's a beautiful thing. Jesus wasn't a tranny.

That's not true. They're kissing, which is good. You just wore long strange clothes, that's all. Uh-huh.

Well, they'll like each other. How about you could just do it? You're so beautiful. You could, you could just be a Shafdi.

It could be anything. You could be anything you want. Look at this girl. You could just get started.

Get, get it started. Just get it started. Let's get this party started. Let's get the party started.

Brocha Shem. Brocha, I got a urinate. I need to say something very important. Yes.

I did not see Elijah drink from that cup. Thank you, Missy. Neither did I. I didn't.

But you know what? It's still a magical moment. Oh, yes, very much so. A very magical moment.

We're going to see, uh, how magical. Well, we can start. Let's have a nice, uh, Brocha kiss. We're going to get it started, brothers and sisters.

We are not going to have a total holy communion right now because our, our Jesus is a little nervous, but that's okay. And they're kissing.

All right. So, brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, we are going to get it going on. Okay.

You can stay together. Why don't you stay together? Just, just kiss together. Where did Corpse go?

Okay. All right. So anyway, now is the time, uh, that we are going to end the formal part of the Seder.

And we're going to search for the eggs, which is Easter, but, and the Apicoman, which is Seder. And we're going to ransom them for sex toys. And we're also going to eat the lamb that's outside,

because those of you who aren't here might want some of this delicious pascal lamb. And, uh, where's Corpse? Okay.

We're, um, we're going to now just wind it up and say amen. And a women. And this is the fourth cup of wine.

Barokha, Tadunai, Lehena, Melaka, Lombore, Periha, Ghafen, and I would add to that, brothers and sisters, whatever religion you are, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, goddess,

bonobo. Yes. Make like bonobos, not baboons. Make love, not war.

Make love to someone you love tonight, even if that someone is you. I love you. Amen.

And a women need to talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else. Okay. You can talk to us.

I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airway. But my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy over the phone.

Anytime you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination, my world renowned telephone sex therapists

are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you, role play for you, fantasize with you,

no fantasy is too taboo, and help you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages.

For more information, call us at 213-291-9497. That's 213-291-9497 anytime you need to talk. We're listening to Radio Suzy 1 on the World Wide Web.