Riley Reyes & UCLA’s SATYR Magazine punish Trump’s Rump for the Worst First 100 Days & Kick Off

Full transcript of Riley Reyes & UCLA’s SATYR Magazine punish Trump’s Rump for the Worst First 100 Days & Kick Off on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

You need to talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else? You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves, but my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy over the phone.

Anytime you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination, my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you, role-play for you, fantasize with you. No fantasy is too taboo and help

you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. For more information call us at 213-291-9497. That's 213-291-9497 anytime you need to talk. You're listening to Radio Suzy One on the World Wide Web and now here she is, Dr. Susan Block.

Brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, artists and exhibitionists, lawyers and connoisseurs, satyrs and porn stars, Bruins and bulldogs, bim-doms and love slaves, masturbators and misal-fetishists, all you children of sex. And we are all children of sex. We may or may not be children of God or Jesus.

Yes, I love you, especially the Jesus Jackhammer. Or I don't know you, I don't know you. Or Allah or Buddha. But one thing we know, March for Science. We are all children of sex with a capital X. Can I hear an amen?

Amen. Can I hear an A-women? A-women. I want to welcome you to Bonoboville.

Brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners. Yes, indeed. For, oh wow, what are we, I can't say celebrating, but we are observing the worst first 100 days of an unprecedented presidency. That's you. Keep yourself under gag order with that pacifier, Donnie. Yes, the list is so long and everybody goes into all the horrible things that Donnie has done.

And we have certainly gone into them bit by bit and missile by missile on this show. But I do want to say that it's been a really excellent, though challenging, first 100 days. For, the resistance. Where's the cheers? We are the resistance. Brothers and sisters, let's cheer ourselves on. We have had 100 days of craziness that we have just, you know, surfed, you know, not badly.

I mean with the women's march and the science march and, you know, making sure we don't have this Muslim ban and the wall and all this craziness. Just, I mean, yes, there's a lot of craziness happening, but it's a pretty impressive resistance. And much of it is very serious. Yes, indeed. Yes. Every once in a while we get serious, too.

But much of it is just fun. And you know, parody and fun are seriously important in times like this when the depression level is so high. I mean, people need Trump-pocalypse therapy. Sometimes sex therapy. I know this is a sex therapist. But, you know, psychiatrists are also reporting people coming in, not being able to sleep, great anxiety.

I mean, it is like a syndrome. Trump syndrome. And there are different ways to treat it, you know. But we like to treat it with a little bit of humor. And of course, eroticism.

Although one person's eroticism is not necessarily another's. And yes, sometimes, you know, the humor can kill the eroticism, but, you know, you have to just risk all of that. And, you know, actually, we have been treating Donny Drumpf like a baby because he is one, right? He looks like a beautiful man baby right now. I've seen him.

He's very beautiful. We have beautified him so much. I don't know if he even deserves this. This has been our, our Trump-pocalypse therapy is to, you know, turn Trump into the big baby that he is and gag him with different things. Sometimes, well, on Easter, it was an Easter egg. And now it's a pacifier. He really loves that little dick pacifier.

Yeah, it's a little dick in here. It's a little dick, by the way. Yeah. Yeah.

But, you know... It's because it fits his hands. Yes. Actual size only.

Yes, yes. And this is actually a big dick puppet. Oh, there goes his wreath. At least your hair didn't fall off this time, Donny. And yes, he is a big dick with small penis.

Oh. Yeah. And small penis syndrome, which is, I guess, you know, dangerous. In fact, I know it's dangerous.

Unless you get it treated in some fashion by either a therapist or a dominatrix. The Doctor Susan Block Institute. And of course, the dominatrix. And of course, the dominatrix.

And the therapists are available at the Doctor Susan Block Institute. And Gypsy Bonobo, who specializes in this. But you know, I feel, even though this has been great therapy for us, you know, because you have the power that he wields.

It's fun to gag order him and treat him like the baby that he is. But it's enough. Enough coddling. We are going to take the mask off.

Donald and show. Boy, he's got surgery here. Be careful, be careful. I feel like you're stabbing yourself here.

Okay. So he's like a monster under there. At least he, he's a member of the same body. He's no scary as with that mask.

It was like, that was like V for bed done. Now falling apart. Yeah, he is. And look at Doctor Susan.

And now we can see that he's nothing but a big dick with small penis syndrome. And we're going to deal more with that later. But yes, yes. The safety pin resistors, the bonobo sapiens, the science marchers.

We've had a good 100 days. But we really have to go over the bad 100 days that, that this country, that this world has been put through. I mean, I guess it's good for satire magazines. We'll get that in a minute.

But we're also going to get ready for masturbation month. Yay. That's right. That's right.

Everybody loves us. Me and Max get it. That's right. Give yourselves a hand, brothers and sisters.

May is masturbation. You should give yourself both hands. We should give yourself a hand for resisting for 100 days. Give yourselves a hand for making it to masturbation month.

It's almost like the people who are into the 100 day thing, they know that masturbation month is the reward, I guess. It's a nice reward. Hey, hey, your longest term lover is yourself. I don't care how, you know, and I've been married 25 years.

And, but hey, you know, who can compete with me when it comes to longevity? And yeah, masturbation has different really, really important qualities. Let's see. It helps you to know thyself.

Masturbate. These are the eight great benefits of masturbation. I'm just going to go through flashcards. You're going to be tested next week.

So pay attention with your hand and your crotch. Masturbation is healthy. Yes. Orgasms release endorphins and make you healthy.

They get your heart rate up. Isn't that right, Captain Max? That's correct. Keeps you young.

I don't know what they're equivalent to. Endorphins make you happy, too. Yeah. Well, sex in general is healthy.

But you know, you can always have a sex partner and sometimes having sex is not healthy. Like if you have sex with a partner who is diseased, either physically or mentally. So it's an iffy situation. Masturbation is not iffy.

You are okay with yourself. Okay. You only have yourself to blame. You agree with yourself always.

You're blameless. You're utterly blameless when it comes to masturbating. Unless you're doing it to the point of skin abrasions. Okay.

Three, masturbation. I know I have done that. Masturbation is educational. Right?

It teaches you about yourself. It teaches you, especially women, but men, too. You know, it teaches women what we like so that we can explain that to our lovers. It teaches men how to slow down or speed up or, you know, also what you like.

You know, when you're by yourself, you don't have to worry about pleasing another person. I know none of you are worried about that. But you know, if you're a good lover, you are. You're thinking about pleasing the other person.

But when you masturbate, the other person is you. So it's great. Okay. Four, masturbation is relaxing.

No stress, really. Unless you're, you know, well, I guess if you feel bad about masturbating, then it's not relaxing. But you shouldn't feel bad about it. That's what I have to say.

So it does relax you. If you're tense, if you can find a place to masturbate, it's great. Masturbation is safe. We kind of already went through that.

Number five, you know, you're not going to catch anything from yourself. But you know, of course, don't stick a toy up your ass and then stick it in your vagina. Okay. Okay.

In that way, it might not be safe. There are certain things. When done properly. Don't stick like a light bulb up your, anything.

What's a glass? Masturbation is eco-sexual. It does not add to pollution. In other words, well, in many ways it doesn't add to pollution of the environment, especially

because it doesn't add to the population. So, you know, it doesn't bring little pollutants into the world. So it's very eco-sexual. Dirty little pollutants.

They're adorable dirty little pollutants, but yes. Trump. Seven, masturbation is convenient. You know, as Truman Capote said, you don't have to dress up for it.

It's, you don't, you don't have to, you know, prepare usually. I mean, you can, but you don't have to. And you can dress up for it. A lot of people like to, but that's the beauty.

You don't have to. You just do what you want to do. And, and yeah, it's okay. Even with God, so said, who said this?

George Carlin. If God had intended us not to masturbate, she would have made our arms shorter, you know, like Tyrannosaurus Rex. So they're probably intended not to masturbate.

At least, well, masturbate means with your hands. So we have these arms that do this. This is also what bonobos have, which brings me to number eight. Masturbation is natural, right?

It's totally natural. It's not something unnatural that a lot of anti-masturbators have taught us. And you can see it in nature. You can see a lot of animals do it, and especially our kissin' cousins,

the bonobos, who do it in the wild. He's sporting a great heart on there. And let's show the gal. Can we show the gal, too?

Yeah. They have carrot dicks, bonobos. Bonobos are very interesting. Oh, this one is in captivity.

This one is in the zoo. This is Lana, my friend Lana. And she is masturbating with a sex toy, actually, rubbing a big red rubber ball against her big vulva.

And she's enjoying it. And there's another one of a female in the wild, but maybe you guys, oh, there she is. Yes.

Play with it. Taken by Franz Launting. Snacking while masturbating. I relate to this.

You know, that is a thing that bonobos love to do. They love to eat while having sex. This looks hot to me. It's like France is asking.

And while masturbating. And so this, of course, brings me to this fabulous group I have here, because they're all starting to talk. And that's great.

So let me introduce everybody. To my left is the fabulous and beautiful Riley Reyes. Let's hear it. Adults star and beautiful person, sex educator.

Why don't you just come right up here, Riley Reyes? Yes. She wants to be closer. Be close to me.

Don't blame her. She's beautiful. I know. Turn her microphone on, please.

Yes, there is Riley Reyes. And you were last here, gosh, about a year ago with Eric John. That's correct. For our 24th wedding anniversary.

And now you're back and you're more beautiful than ever. You look like such a California girl. Are you a California girl? I am now.

I've naturalized. Oh, okay. Where are you from originally, though? South Carolina.

Oh, wow, even Blonder. Okay, well, welcome to California. I say that as a Philadelphia. But, you know, you are the essence of a California girl.

And you've been all over the place in your porn career. And you're also a sex educator teaching the art of the lap dance. And how to do anal sex. I was going to get to that.

I was working up to that. But, you know, we're very direct here. Okay, anal sex. And we do happen to have the baby Jesus butt plug here.

If we want to do a little demo of some sort. You know, anal sex is certainly very popular. She looks excited. Yes, yes it is.

And it is something that a lot of people like to try first during masturbation. And that, you know, if you're interested in anal sex and you've never done it before, that is probably the smartest thing to do is to, you know, do it to yourself. I think.

Play with it a little bit. That's what I always say. So many people try to jump straight into anal penetration and intercourse without trying it on themselves.

And you don't do that to your poor vagina. You learn what you like by touching your own vulva so you can communicate with your partner. And so you know what you could take.

And that's so important with anal. And so many people don't do it. They just try to shove it in. They're like, oh, we'll go slow with lots of lube.

But you really do need to learn your body first. Yes, you need to learn your body. And your body needs to learn like you and to learn what happens. And that's what masturbation month is for, for that anal probing.

And okay, so we're going to talk about that and maybe have some demos. And we've also got your new girlfriend here tonight. And she is a very lovely young lady named Amelia. Hello, Amelia.

Hi. Welcome. Thank you for having me. Now we know you're not in the porn business.

You're a student. Yeah. And you're a freshman? Mm-hmm.

Wow. And so you don't know what your major is, even, maybe? I'm leaning towards gender studies. Oh, okay.

I was going to say Riley's studies, maybe. I don't know. She's already got a major in that. Yeah.

Yeah, for sure. Well, we're going to talk to you to a little more. How long have you been together? About eight months.

Yeah. How did you meet? We met on Tinder. Hey.

Hey. All right. And we also have right next to you the return of Mistress Liz.

Kyle. Yeah. Kyle. And we are very excited to have Mistress Liz back for the third week in a row.

In fact, I think she's been living here under the couch. In a hallway. Yeah. Right.

Waiting for you to walk by. Backing your feet as you go by. And Mistress Liz is a dominatrix, a lifestyle femdom. Yes.

Yes. And we have a little surprise later tonight. We have a surprise. I'm excited about that.

And we're excited about getting ready for Dom Khan, which is also happening in May. May 17. Yes. May 27.

Wow. You know the dates. I'm so glad. I'm excited for that.

And I am going to be a guest of honor. I am so honored. Really. Really.

I have to get all these outfits. And yes, I have three designers. Mademoiselle Ilo of Paris. Paris.

Paris would sound a little too much. But yes. Paris. And I have a catalyst latex and libidex latex of the UK.

Nobody in America wants to dress me, but I have apparently the Europeans do. So I'm excited. You're too fabulous for Trumpville. Fabulous for Trumpville.

Yeah. Maybe that's it. So, you know, it's going to be a latex weekend. We're going to be excited.

We're also going to present the Bonobo Way, the Femme Dom's of the Wild at Domcon. We already presented the Bonobo Way. So this is kind of like a part two. And this time we are going to have book spankings.

Now that copy of the Bonobo Way has been through a lot of book spankings. Gypsy Bonobo. Yes, it has. It doesn't make it any less good to use a fresh one.

Yeah. It's worn in. That means it's comfortable. Yeah.

Some of my favorite things. It's a classic at this point. It's a classic. Right, right.

People have masturbated with it, spanked with it. Trump, you can enjoy it for now. Yeah. Yeah.

Even though you have no face. It looks like he isn't. He's never had a face. He's never had a face.

Maybe not. Maybe this is the real Trump. We're showing the real Trump tonight. Baseless.

I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids. So, moving right around our womb room tonight. We have on the other side the editors and a writer from Seder magazine of UCLA. Let's hear it.

And we are so excited to have them here tonight. Welcome, Sarah. Yes, I'm Sarah. Crossweight.

Very good. And I run the magazine. Run it. All right.

Send on power. Democracy. Yeah. And here he is.

Hello. This is, I got your name written down here somewhere. I can tell you. Oh, I got it.

I got it. George. You got it. George Guten.

Yes. I'm just a writer. Just a writer. Are you a good writer?

I think so. Ask her. I think he's a very good writer. Excellent.

That's what matters. And her opinion is what counts. Yeah, that's what matters. Right.

Okay. Well, you know, I don't know what you wrote there, but there's been a lot of great articles. I do want to introduce Rachel Frank. Yeah.

All right. Rachel is also one of the editors and writers. No. You're a writer.

Just a writer. But a friend of the editor to the point that I knew you were coming. And, and, and you wrote a fun article, very tongue in cheek. I think, although Gypsy made me kind of think again.

The second amendment guarantees me the right to own a gun and to get physically aroused while holding one. I'm down for that. That's a, that's a fetish.

This is a masturbation. Hey, are you afraid of all fetishes here? Yeah. So all I was saying is like, I thought it would, it like, I have to say it was adorable.

It was a cute satire on the, the idea, but you know, there was a truth to your satire. It's a little scary to me. You know, I'm a peacenik. I wore my peace earrings just to combat the gun fetish.

It's about me tonight. How much of it is satire and how much of it is your real feeling? With that specifically, 100% real. No, I'm kidding.

All of it is fake. I just, I love like gun humor, specifically. Yeah. My mom loves guns and she recently moved to Utah and has a concealed weapons permit.

Really? And she told me she wants to sell guns out of her home. Does she have a lot of enemies or something? Oh my gosh.

Like Gypsy, she sports a lady boner when she shoots. Hold on, hold on. I don't, like, I don't want to like sell guns out of my garage. And move to Utah.

Like that's not my dream. I was actually no right now. Balance that out. I don't want to be compared to that.

But you know what? I think that makes me hot too. That makes me hot too. That makes me hot too.

That makes me hot too. That makes me hot too. We all find enjoyment in power and as long as the power is consensual and concealed and understood and it's not being used towards harm, BDSM community.

It can be okay, right? I personally don't ever like use guns in any way. It's good for you. You don't use guns.

I happen to disagree, but I mean, I disagree that it, I mean, guns are just dangerous. But I do understand that they're sexy, sexual. So are missiles for that matter. You know, missiles are pretty sexy.

You know, the shape is like a nice dildo. Like a rocket. Especially the way Mistress Liz says that. Make sense.

My brain, that's why I had that. The ejaculation of the missiles. Now Kim Jong-un had a premature ejaculation, which is another one of the Sator magazine articles.

And that is true. Yeah, there we go. North Korea missile gets too excited. Blows early.

The first one blew in a few seconds. But obviously this guy is practicing masturbation month. The next one took a few minutes. He's learning how to last.

It's a little scary. He's up to your stamina. Yeah, he's up at his stamina. Play with it like a hundred times a day and a hundred and first time.

Yeah. You'll go for like an hour and a half. Yeah, yeah. It's a little scary.

You guys, this art is rad. I love the art that you guys create, those little pictures. Oh, thank you so much. We actually have, we have like 10 writers and seven artists.

So we try to pair them up. You were loaded. Thank you. You were loaded.

We're very lucky. The artists are dope. They're dope to say the least. Yeah, definitely.

And there's a great cartoon of Trump. A leaked photo of Trump foreign policy meeting. Throw it, boys. Where is it?

We want to see it. The photo. Show us. We are.

There it is. Adorable. Thank you. That's one of our new artists.

I mean, missiles can be sexy. They can also look innocent and playful. It's amazing. The alternative facts of everything.

So, and you do have something about alternative facts. Oh, 10 UCLA alternative facts. By the way, I am wearing the UCLA colors. So is gypsy.

You guys are not school spirit. But like I said to them, they go to school. So that says all the school spirit you need. I'm just making up for the other part.

Good. You're welcome. Thank you. You're welcome.

We appreciate it. Aw. Yeah, because these are really hard colors to, like, put together. A lot of Google witnesses.

Yellow and royal blue. Like, what is with your guys' colors? Okay, we have to get this out here. Are you guys...

Okay, so are you guys my blue and gold? Or are you like the baby blue-gold combo? Because there's... It's closer to what you're wearing.

Oh, okay. Good. We went with the royal blue. Because I think they're trying to change it there to be more modern.

We're not going to lie to you. We're not going to let you. Bring him back. Or more neoliberal or something.

The light blue is a little... It's enlightening. Yeah, something like that. All right, but here's the amazing thing of the evening.

We have these two guests that I wasn't sure what the connection was, except that you're both very fascinating. We have Riley Ray's. Pornstar extraordinaire.

Sapio's sexual sex pot. And we have the Saders of UCLA. And... Woo!

Right. And all fantastic, but the amazing connection, can you guess, Riley's girlfriend goes to UCLA.

Look at that. Look at that. They didn't know. This is the big surprise.

Check out Sader Magazine. Check out Sader Magazine. That's your first instruction, your first assignment. I will definitely do so.

Thank you. You might be in it. UCLA is a popular school for many of things. I'm coming to find out.

Right on. It is, despite those crazy colors. But, yeah, yeah. So, you guys, are you seniors?

Are you juniors? Seniors all? Yeah. Can we have another microphone?

I'm a senior. Okay. Also a senior. We just want to make sure they can drink.

I am a junior and cannot drink. You are a junior and cannot drink. But you have the power. I do.

You could change the drinking laws. I could. If the drinking laws were 21 people at UCLA, I could change that.

Wow. Got that power. So, does the magazine fall on your shoulders to carry on since these guys are leaving?

I'm actually retiring. You're retiring. Because, while young, I'm very tired. I've been doing it for two years.

She's like Obama. She started young, retires young. Thank you. I need to go on vacation in Florida for a year.

You're not going to have Trump-types takeover, right? The person who's taking over is actually in this room. So, I guess it's up to her whether she's going to be Trump or not. I hope not.

She seems reasonable. She hasn't threatened to bomb any of the other student organizations. So, I think we're in a pretty safe spot. We're starting good already.

We're starting good already. Yeah. Saders. Exactly.

Saders, it's hard to know. So, I was wondering what you thought. What is a more direct path to success? Porn stardom or college?

Or maybe a combination? A combination. You should try everything. How do you define success?

Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Well, you know, just being who you want to be, having a meaningful life, you know, doing well, living a decent amount of time.

Yeah. The old ways before the alternative fact. Yeah. I would say that it's like a combination.

It's just like working whichever angle you've got until something works out. That's, you know, my philosophy. There you go.

Try everything. Yeah. Did you decide to become a porn star because it was a career path

or did you just kind of fall into it because you're just gorgeous? I decided as a career path. I actually did go to college,

graduate and work for several years in my field and was doing well. What was your field? I was in backstage in New York

doing theater. Theater. So, you were a theater major? Yep.

I'm also a theater major. Excellent. Well, you know, it's all theater, right? I grew up in the theater.

Right. It's like looking in a mirror. Yes. Yes.

And guess who else was a theater major? I won't tell. But yeah, you're in kind of both worlds. You've got a porn star girlfriend

and you're going to college. So, you're like, you know, it's all merging now. It used to be like porn was very,

very underground in my day. But now it's kind of mixing it up. Right? Have you spoken at a college yet?

No, I haven't. But I'd like to at some point, I'm getting into the education. Maybe you'll be invited to UCLA.

That would be delightful. Her roommates have said I can practice some of my anal lesson on them to get some feedback.

Oh, well, there you go. Okay. That sounds good. That's not in the classroom.

No. Okay. Private class. We haven't gone that far.

Although at Sex Week at Yale, we did have a porn star. I'm trying to remember who it was. And she was actually letting students

put nipple clamps on her. Clothespins on her nipples. Madison Young. Very much a performance artist,

porn star. And yep, that was the last year they did Sex Week at Yale with porn stars.

Anyway. Yeah, yeah. School spirit. Woo-hoo.

So great. We're going to celebrate masturbation month. We're going to talk about

the first 100 days. So what's your assessment? Do you have a satire on the first 100 days?

Well, I would say the fact that we're still here is surprising to me. So a little bit more positive

than I had expected. Yeah. I don't know. Do you guys have any satirical day?

I actually find Trump and his first 100 days to actually be a very big challenge to satire.

Especially with the fake news, because satire in a way is fake news.

And so now you have like a responsibility as a satirist to like really, I don't know,

to not fall into a fake news trap and trick people and to make sure that they are laughing and not, you know,

shooting up pizza stores because of something they read. So you have a, it's a bigger responsibility now

that that's so prevalent in the media. Because the reality is already

a comedy. And yet it's very real and very dangerous. But I think you guys

are doing a great job. You've got your Trump baby playing with his

missile toys. And so what's your assessment of the first 100 days? I mean,

obviously the environment is getting super fucked. Oh yeah. And it's really scary.

Yeah, I don't know. I, in terms of the satire that I write, I tend to shy away from like

specifically addressing Trump. Just because it feels so like grand and like hard.

So I don't know. A lot of comedy has come on of the alt-right for sure. And

it's really, it's hard to watch, but at the same time it feels like you're living in a dream

and none of it's happening. And I want to apologize as a member of the older generation for bringing this on you guys.

But, you know, what can I say? You did have a funny thing. Trump's cabinet as

old Thanksgiving leftovers. Yeah, I thought that was pretty funny. Thank you. And

and we have a certain way of handling Trump that we think we'd like

to try out tonight before the break. You want to try this out now? I think we should try it out now.

Yeah, I think that I've heard that, you know, we told him he's got to grow up and be a man

and take his punishment and, you know, enough coddling

as a big baby dickhead. So here comes the

unprecedented one. Oh, look at this. He's got on a patriotic tie. crass.

And yes, this is our Trump-pocalypse therapy

is to take him and whack him.

And he'd probably enjoy it. Okay, so Riley Ray is giving him a good whack.

Except we can't see your face that way. You have to turn towards the camera. Right, this is exhibitionist

punishment. Right. This is like they did in Abu Ghraib

during the Bush administration. We want the cameras to see the prisoners because it's therapy for us

to punish this guy for the worst first 100 days. And he's taken it pretty good

from Riley Ray's. We've seen these kinds of criminals before. Where is the Bonobo way? We got to spank him with this.

Maybe I should because this is my book. So make his face face outward. Book spanking. Don't suffocate the guy.

No. And take that. Learn to be more Bonobo and less like a baboon.

And masturbate. We know that Melania's never sleeping in the White House. So you're obviously frustrated

using those missiles as sex surrogates and

tweeting all night. So celebrate masturbation month of the Bonobo way

and we'll all feel better about it. He looks like he's already feeling better about it. There we go.

So talking to the microphone that is a principle of our show.

So would you like to have your hand at spanking Trump? Would you like to do that?

We want to give you a physical experience if you want to have it. Rachel you want to go for it? Let's do it.

I got my drunk with the book. With the book please. This is the first. It's very

I don't know. This is How many books spanking are you into?

Get him right here. Here she goes. Rachel Frank UCLA's Seder magazine

is giving Trump a good whack. He's taking it. He's loving it.

I think this is having a more mitigating effect on Trump than Ivanka has. Everyone says Ivanka

has some mitigating effect. Would you like to try? No. I hope this is like a voodoo doll

somewhere he's flinching. He's flinching in such a good way. Yes. He is.

This one is enjoying it. That's okay. We want your punishment to be enjoyable, Donny.

We just want you to learn your lesson. Okay. I think we have to take a break. Is that what I'm hearing?

I hear all this kind of elevator music right now. Is that a signal of something? Elevator music? Yeah?

Okay. Look who's here. Do I see the chef? Chef be live.

And Danielle, the Easter Bunny without the ears but she's bouncing up and down just like the Easter Bunny.

Oh United killed the Easter Bunny. That's right. The Easter Bunny has come back to life as Danielle Watts.

Wow. I just couldn't help myself because I'm a USC alum and I heard there were some ruins

in the house. I was just kind of thinking like we could do a spank off at some point.

You know? Wouldn't that be fun? A spank off? Yeah, I'd be like this R version of a football game.

Weren't you going to go to UCLA and then you decided USC? I couldn't afford to go to UCLA. Ah.

By the way, I just want to say Dr. Suzy, I saw a piece that she did for this movie.

Oh yeah. Yeah, the two cults. She's a Scientology member trying to convert a Mormon guy

and a couple of Mormon guys because they're bisexual. And yeah, they're trying to convert each other

and hug the corner. He masturbates to the pictures of Jesus on the wall and then comes all over Jesus.

It's really special. Oh yeah. Yeah, it's like milk pouring all over Jesus' head

and then very erotic. Very homerotic. Very, very erotic.

You got to see it. I don't remember the name of it, so you got to Ding Dongs. Ding Dongs, there you go. It's on my Facebook profile page.

You know, about Mormons. Fun Mormons. Really funny. She picks interesting pieces to play with.

I miss you, Dr. Suzie. I'm so excited. I haven't seen these guys in like a few weeks, I think.

That's why I'm just clutching your legs softly like my Bonobo mother that you are.

Right, and I am wearing Bruin colors, but I am also wearing my Bulldog pink. Oh my God. So I'm for all the schools

and by the way, before we take a break we're going to come back and celebrate, you know,

and get ready for masturbation month, right? Anybody have any plans on how they're going to celebrate masturbation month?

Can I watch you masturbate? That sounds hot, too. You don't want to give Danielle a microphone. Remember that.

It was a question I just got really turned on when you flashed me. You're saying me? You just flashed me your beautiful Yale Panties

and they got really turned on. I hope that one of my guests will masturbate as well. But, you know,

yes, please, I have guests. I have guests that I would like to see masturbate. And teach us a little bit of something

because masturbation is educational. Yes. Oh yeah. Jackie blue.

So what is your plan for masturbation month? Well, I just discovered this week that I can fit

my entire Hitachi head inside my pussy so that's my whole plan. On your Twitter. The whole head.

Yeah, I put the whole thing in there. You have to put it past the opening so it's just in there vibrating on your internal. Right on your juice spot.

Wow, that's impressive. I read this on your Twitter, I was impressed. Find out more about that. Do you have any masturbation month plans?

You just found out that it's masturbation month, right? They're going to sell a microphone over there. Somebody needs a microphone.

I know Jennail does not like to give up that microphone. I need to give up the microphone once it in my hands. I just get really turned on by it.

Okay, well you discuss, discuss. Let me just tell you a little story that you may not know about Satyrs and Masturbation

because your name is Satyr Magazine and the Satyr is of course a creature of a Greek mythology

and alternative facts. That's all it is. It's the idea of a half goat, half person

and later became the Christian idea of the devil with some horns and a tail and these nice hooves

but very natural loves to have sex and of course Pan

is the god of the Satyrs and the god of the wild the great god Pan

the ultimate Satyr and that's S-A-T-Y-R not for all my Jewish friends

S-E-D-E-R, okay? Because we did just celebrate Passover but yeah, so you know how does this relate to masturbation?

way back back because the Greeks have explanations for everything just like the Jews and the Christians and the Muslims crazy explanations you might say

alternative facts but I like this one okay, so Pan fell in love with a nymph oh yeah

and his love was unrequited now usually Pan's MO was to just go after the nymph and basically rape her

or if she could escape sounds hot no, it's not hot

it's only hot in fantasy it's not hot to be raped crazy nuts okay, so let's just remember

this is an educational show rape fantasies might be hot but not really being raped especially by a half goat creature

okay, so sometimes he would do that and sometimes the nymph who didn't want to be a sex partner

with Pan would turn herself into a tree or a babbling brook or something like that and yet

in this particular instance the great god Hermes who is the patron saint of Gemini's and I am a Gemini

I'm a Gemini too yes, june 10th in case you want to send presents and yes, Hermes

who is Mercury to the Romans he taught Pan the art

and science of masturbation so this was how

masturbation was evolved in the Greek mythology as a rape prevention technique

which it's a very good one still it is a very good one if you have unrequited love do not go and rape

the person who unrequites you unrequites you and I don't know, it's an alternative fact

if she can turn into a tree but masturbate, it's a great thing and yes, it was a great thing for all the nymphs

and it was a great thing because Pan taught the art to the shepherds the other saders and the shepherds

and I'm sure the sheep appreciated that that anyway we are so excited to have the saders

here so during that did you figure out any masturbation month plans I like to keep it

spontaneous spontaneous I just found out that I had a butt hole

wow we'll tell you more about it now we're going to tell you more about it in the second half yeah, yeah, yeah

no, that's great it's good to learn when you're in school it's always good to learn can I share something with you Dr. Suzy?

very quickly because I think we're running out of time I don't know, she's probably not going to be on camera but my daughter it's her 21st birthday tonight

wow okay, that makes me a little nervous oh yeah, she's believing

my daughter now okay, she's 21 this has nothing to do with incest

brothers and sisters even though I'm calling you all brothers and sisters we're separate families and stuff

and the Greeks were totally into that stuff but welcome and happy birthday what's her name?

the goddess the goddess of fertility like Ishtar so

how much time do we have? three minutes so could I just ask my featured guest

Riley Ray to give us a little taste can you part

or actually you sit over there or you can sit there and can you do an art of the lap dance demo

and maybe a little striptease and can we have a little music maybe from the kinkster

which we actually have the rights to by Carmina Formosa the kinkster

and Riley Reyes who's going to teach the art of the lap dance on a couple's cruise right?

turn it up a little you never know an alternative backstage here she is wow

twerk it girl twerk it it feels so warm beautiful

and I've got that kink oh yeah that does to my winking I gotta

you gotta send you to the White House do a much better job than Ibaqa you look like her you wanna play Ibaqa in the porn

yeah you should you should listen to watch that oh the Hitachi just got

it's a sign you gotta use it you gotta watch she's put that all the way inside you

I think we're all really looking forward to that some loop okay I'll call my people bring it down

come on get the lady some goddamn dollar bills please we'd like to see a trick

please come on where are all the bonobos come on come on look at she's working just one

he comes forth with the money I mean if I could pull him out of my whoa this is a lap dance for you ladies

to learn there we go one for each nipple oh my god

that is a hard alright we're out of tape we're out of tape we're out on this camera

do we have the other camera we got it on the other camera so brothers and sisters lovers and sinners

we gotta take a break and we're gonna come back with more spanking and dancing and masturbating and

Seder magazine so don't come yet and don't go away hi I'm Dr. Susan Block and I've just written a new

book called The Bonobo Way inspired by my love for the make love not war great apes you know

the ones who have a lot of sex in a bonobo sutra of positions including face to face but it's not just how bonobos

have sex it's how they use sex to prevent murder and war really they're the only great apes that have

never been seen killing each other they practice what I call peace through pleasure with the females gently dominating

the very happy very sexually satisfied males bonobos are special partly because they just are and partly

because they're very very close to us almost 99% genetically similar to us when it comes to being human

even being humane bonobos can teach us so much which brings me to us and more specifically

to you is your inner bonobo longing to swing free would you like to tap into

the hot natural sex energy within you that you would so you can better enjoy the pleasures in life and cope with the pain

you know the pain and have more orgasmic organic sustainable sex who doesn't want that

greater lust greater trust and better anger management and who couldn't use a little bit of that these days so get

the book learn the bonobo way you'll be glad you did then you'll want to join bonobo bill a new global village for bonobo lovers

and friends and one last thing the real bonobos are highly endangered so a portion of all book sales go to bonobo conservation groups

working to save the wild bonobos from extinction read the bonobo way and learn why this could be the most important eco sexual movement

of our times and improve your love life sisters we are going to have a Sybian ride

so you've never been on a Sybian before no I've never been on one before okay now you are ready to ascend the throne

Mr. Tracy you are going to ride God's machine put one leg right here

put the other right here and just position yourself comfortably put your clip right here okay so here she goes mountain

have you ever ridden a Sybian by the way oh I have many a time my favorite horse to ride I have Sybian

yoga and experience it to the fullest go for the G-spot go for the clip

go for whatever works someone can come from their nipples we've got Virginia Rado riding the Sybian

wow holy shit that does the job Sybian strikes again

yes I do say that when it feels good live on Dr.Suzi.TV from the womb room in bonobo

ville ride them cowboy take a G-spot G-spot

relax we never get tired of watching a pretty girl on the Sybian celebrate and masturbation ma

hallelujah this is a sister we have a winner

look at that face that is a beautiful thing thank you Dr. Susan Blocc your wonderful human being

you're wonderful human being Dr. Susan Blocc thank you I think we have orgasm Huston and let's have a hand

we have lift off we have lift off and then Oh my god!

Ok, we're gonna go, we're gonna go! Bye, Sister Penny! Testify! That you masturbate!

How was it, what's your report? My vagina is so tingly right now, it feels like pop rock. I'm just gonna take this home. I think it's bigger than your little body.

That is the best product endorsement I've ever seen. Can I leave now? Like, I'm ready, I'm... Come on.

I feel like I'm gonna sleep as well. Where's the husband? You got the simian, you don't need the husband. Oh my god, oh!

Don't let her fall over. Hey darling girl. I love you. I love you.

That's my girl. You're not, you cannot show nipples on Facebook, ok? No, on Facebook, but it's ok because we're not beholden to Facebook. No, no, that's alright, don't worry about that.

You can hold them. We like you touching them. The left side here is Facebook, the right side is the right side. It's just one window into the Dr. Susan Block show,

and it is like, it is like looking through Venetian blinds, ok? And you can't see everything, that's it. You now, who are tuned in to Bonoboville on Facebook, you see a very nice group of people,

but you do not see the fabulous, topless Riley Reyes, who's sitting right next to me, and is about to help us to prepare for masturbation month. And with us, our students actually,

I'm not saying they're masturbation students, but they are students. They could be after this month. You know, we're all in a way, masturbation students,

we all learn from masturbation, which includes mutual masturbation, when you do it with someone else. You're using your hand, basically.

Funner with two. Masturbation, the word in Latin, I think it means something like dirty hands, or dirty, soiling with your hands.

It's very, very judgmental. It's a very judgmental Latin word. Yes, and agreeing with me on that one, is the lovely Sarah Crossway of Sator Magazine.

She is the editor-in-chief, or at this show you might be called the editrix. Yes. Well, thank you.

Very good. You are part of a democracy. I make people hit those deadlines, so what can I say?

And one of them is a very cute guy who is sitting right next to Gypsy. And that's Gordon. George.

George. Why did I get Gordon? G-word. Okay, George.

It is a G-word. Yeah, that's true. I should be allowed in the democracy to get your name wrong.

And I was going to say it's very bonobo. Their hierarchy is kind of bonobo. Like, you know, there's a woman in charge. There's a woman in charge.

And a happy man. Yeah. Also, actually, all of our editors are women, which is, it's kind of a funny way that that came about,

which is that we advertise in public restrooms. And I don't go in men's restrooms that often to put up flyers. Makes sense.

Ladies' rooms. I go in them sometimes, but it's got to be kind of empty. Right.

So we are mostly women run now. Right, right. Very good. Okay.

I think that's fantastic. And that is the way of the future, brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, if there is a future, of course.

And the missile fetishes don't blow us all up. And, you know. Unless it's the right kind of missile. Unless it's the right kind of missile.

Right. And perhaps Mr. Trump will take the right kind of missile tonight. I think so. You think so.

You might have to prepare him for that. It's faster ration months, so we have to make that happen. Yes. Maybe we will make that happen.

And we have a few things to kind of, you know, settle scores to settle things to punish him for. Slaves should be punished, right? Absolutely.

Right. Just some discipline. Our fantasy, Trump is our slave. Right.

I mean, I feel like we have a little bit of his slaves. I mean, I do feel it. I feel mentally. I have to pay attention every single day.

I mean, the only relief is the airlines who outtrump Trump sometimes by just doing one modeling after another, they're not letting some guy pee on the plane. That was Delta killing the Easter Bunny.

That's United, you know. The airlines might be the best thing that have happened to Trump during his presidency, because it's kind of. To take the heat off some.

Yeah, it's taking some of the heat off Trump. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, I think they're working together. Probably.

Yeah, right. Okay, so, yeah, we should get him ready. But in the meantime, we have to get ready for masturbation month with our porn star sex educator,

Riley Reyes, who gave us a fabulous lap dance to the tune of The Kingster. So, so what would you like to educate us about with respect to masturbation?

And certainly you are already something to masturbate to. I would. Do you remember the first time you masturbated? Yes, one of my friends taught me how to.

Yes, you had to learn. Sometimes women do. We have someone in the audience who is actually masturbated to you, okay?

Oh, Chef Be live has masturbated to you. Awesome. I encourage everyone to masturbate to me. That's what I'm here for.

Right. He might do it right here tonight. If Daniel, his wife allows him. He's a bonobo.

He is very bonobo. They're also nudists. So sometimes they get naked. Are you a bit of a nudist yourself?

I don't really like having to wear clothes. It suits you to not. Right. I don't have to make any decisions about whether or not

it looks stylish. I know it'll look good. It's easy. And you're very natural, I think.

I mean, everything looks very natural. Yeah, I didn't get any extra parts added. I get a little highlight. A little highlight.

Well, that's just hair. That's fair. Look at Trump and his hair. He got more than a little highlight.

Yeah, right. Over of course. I would do everybody on everything. So, OK.

So, I mean, anal or clitoral. What lesson shall we learn from Riley Ray's tonight? I think one of the most important things about masturbation is to not limit yourself as to what you think it should be.

I remember my first masturbation. Someone taught me that I could just grind on a pillow. And that's what I did for a very long time. And I still sometimes do it.

And you can use your hands. You can use toys. Like go slow. Go fast.

Find out what you like. Insert things if you like it, but don't if you don't feel like it. And the biggest thing with anal, too,

is take your time with anal masturbation. Explore the outside. Contract. Relax.

Feel the pelvic floor muscles that you would use when doing kegels. And what they can do to your rectum as well. Now you know where those pelvic floor muscles are.

Don't you, class? Do we know? How about one of our students tells us? I don't know the student part.

Well, you could tell. No, you don't know where your pelvic floor muscles are. Is that like you can feel it when you stop yourself from peeing. Or your kegel muscle.

It's really kind of the same stuff. You can feel it if you stop yourself from peeing. So you can actually feel kegels on both ends on your rectum and if you're a female in the front.

In the front, if you're a male, also. In the front. So you can do them. You just tighten your lower abdominal muscles.

And just, yeah. Come on. I think you're doing it right now. You're doing it right now.

I think I'm doing it right now. All right. Okay. So it's that muscle that you squeeze

if there's a, you know, fire alarm or something. And you're peeing and it stops you from peeing. And it's also the muscle that contracts and releases when you have an orgasm.

And if you're kind of not really ready for an orgasm or not really that turned on, it can turn you on to just squeeze it and release it. And yeah, I can help you have a baby also.

That's why they call it the kegel muscle exercise. And yeah, there's a whole network of muscles. I mean, there's the sphincter muscles in the butt, right? That's for that anal thing, right?

But, you know, it's like an orchestra. And you kind of want to conduct the whole orchestra. You know, you can learn to isolate and have each muscle play their little solo routine.

And that's really fun and can, you know, be so involving that it just turns you the hell on. Or on the other hand, for a guy, it can be so involving that it helps you to control

so you don't Kim Jong-un it, right? Is that a verb? It is now. Yeah.

Today. So, squeeze and release. And it's good to usually inhale as you squeeze and exhale as you release.

It's just like working out or doing, you know, any type of workout and I think people forget that there's muscles. Your body is made of muscles

and it's made of these things so you have to work out all of them, you know, to make. And you can do it at the gym or while you're sitting at your writer's desk.

And people might not know unless you have a huge boner. Yeah. So, we wear baggy pants.

Ooh. All right. They don't teach you this at UCLA? Where's your microphone?

Where did your microphone go? And it really does give you the control to pull your pussy tight if you want or to relax it to fit in giant things

like the Satachi or to help relax your rectum to have anal sex. So, really becoming aware of how to flex and relax your entire pelvic floor

can really open you up. Now, this is a great instrument. Let me tell you, this is one of my favorite things, not just sex toys, but things.

That's it, right? Captain Max introduced me to this. Many, before our marriage. I think this was part of the dowry.

Really. And it's ancient also. It's an ancient instrument. And I tell you, they make all kinds

of wonderful new vibrators that we love. You know, the Lilo and the Hilo and the Shilo and the We Vibe. Although I think they got sued for something.

A Wi-Fi. Yeah. All kinds of stuff that goes with your Wi-Fi. But there's nothing like the Hitachi.

It just packs that power. It is so good. And it's, I don't know. Somehow nobody makes it like this.

What is it called again? It's the Hitachi. Hitachi. Hitachi.

Did you name it? It's the mother of all vibrators, okay? No. The mother.

The mother of all vibrators. It's been around for, I believe, since like everybody's named it. It's maybe, I mean, I didn't use it then.

I think it's been around since the 70s, maybe. I think it was around before then. Maybe, maybe, you know, and it was originally marketed to massage your back.

Yeah. Right? It was in every drug store in America. It's a classic.

It was an instrument of revolution. And then somebody went down the back. It was worse than a fucking ball. And woo!

Hey, Danielle. They probably pulled a grove muscle and got too close. Yeah.

It feels so good. But I am used to putting the Hitachi on the outside. That's all I've ever done, really. I've never put it on the inside.

And this is why I'm not a porn star, really. Because porn stars have special talents. It takes some bravery, too, to just, yeah, go for it with that.

You gotta know that's gonna be okay. Thank you. It's freeing. I have faith in the capacity of my whole.

Her pelvic floor muscles are too long. That's her pelvic floor muscles. To be respected is our tone. Yeah, that's definitely confidence.

I don't know. I mean, you're a totally, as you say, shameless and beautiful great porn star. Would you want to demonstrate that?

I have a glide condom and lube and anything you might like. I don't know if I'm quite prepared for that right now.

Oh, okay. Maybe you should work up to it. I would have to work up to it. Could I disappear into the wings and come back?

Well, certainly if you give us hope that you will do this thing, you can do whatever you want. Now, you can do whatever you want.

Please, you disappear for a moment. Go disappear. Go disappear. Do you want the girlfriend with you?

No, just, this is, she's gonna go celebrate masturbation month. She's going to take one of your commandments. Or do our, I don't know.

She does what porn stars do. I think. She's gonna explore her sound. It's a porn star kind of thing, you know?

So, but we do have condoms and fantastic lube from AstroGly. And where's our Trump then? He's here.

Okay. Oh, there he is. Let me get it. Yeah.

He's got to take those glasses off. Yeah. Okay. So, now I know, you know,

you've got a satirical magazine. It's in fact called Seder. Yes it is. Yeah.

And this is real. It's kind of a satire. And yet, this is a real unprecedented ass hat.

Yes it is. And so, did you have like something you want to punish him for? Or a way that you would like to see him punished?

Can we give a microphone over to, I think Rachel had something. No, no, okay. I think the Betsy DeVos appointment was particularly bad.

We're all students. So I think that's the thing to focus on. Yeah. In terms of a specific punishment for that,

maybe if you were to paint, spank him while talking about the advantages of public schools over charter schools. Yes.

Or you could whisper in his ear about why busing to public schools is important. All right. So who wants to do the talking about that?

We have a stool for you here, Riley. Oh, we're back. Oh, you know what? We're going to put that punishment aside.

So make him sit over there. Come here. Come here. Yes.

Put your feet on him. There's my Facebook camera here. Not be showing all this. Oh, look.

Nudity. The girlfriend, Amelia, Amelia is putting her little booties up on the ass of the ass hat.

Very good. Okay. And here we have the learner Hitachi. And here we have the amazing Riley Reyes,

who is a fantastic porn star, as well as a sex educator. And let's see. Let's get you comfortable here.

I have my pom-poms because we're cheering on masturbation month. Woo-hoo. And the collegiate style.

Yay. They're almost the right color. They're blue and white. Close enough.

A couple years they'll be yellow. All right. And now, Riley Reyes, and do you have some Lou there?

Mm-hmm. She's working. And she has an assistant. She's negotiating her nails.

A really beautiful assistant over here. There's so much harder than you think it is. Like, I realize this is not. It's because it's not the size of a banana.

This is not the size of a banana. No, no. Like, this is way different. But anyways, I'm going to figure it out some more.

Oh, do you want to get this? Do you want to get them? And this is why I recommend if you're with a partner with a really, really huge cock

and they have trouble keeping an erection with a condom but you still want to be safe, try the female condom. The ring is giant and it provides you with a lot more space

and won't cut off their flow. Mama can cover up the big dick. Right. Here we go.

Ooh, she's good at putting a condom on. Big things. I didn't do it with my mouth. But next time,

you have to work up to these things. Monica should have learned that. Mmm. And look at this beautiful natural bush,

which is very popular now. This is a class. Is this a class? Are you embarrassed?

This is a class. No, this is real. You should believe that you're embarrassed. Okay, I don't want you to...

I'm not forcing you to watch. It's an education class. But this is very... It's real.

It's real. I honestly wished I could have watched this when I was your age. In such a beautiful way.

I had to draw my own fucking pictures. Do we have some wipes? Wipes? Actually, the right behind you, the wipes.

Yeah. Because so bad. Get that leverage. Do we have a trash area?

Right under the chair. Don't shoot under the chair. And... Oh, and I don't know if we have the rights

to this music, and I think we should just turn it down. I don't think we need this music. I really don't.

In fact, I don't think we need any music. In fact, I would like a microphone to hold by someone who is not going to speak. Turn the music down or the pots are going to come after us.

Let me see where we can put you. Ooh, this looks beautiful. Pillow here. Pillow.

Yep. Wow. I'm going to give you... She's a porn star.

She knows how to pose. For God's country and for Yale pillow. Okay, see. The whole courtyard.

Clear now. There's nobody out there. So now you can see I'm flexing those pelvic floor muscles I was telling you about.

Oh, yes, she is. Pulling it in and out. Wow. She is flexing those pelvic floor muscles

we were just talking about. This is not just a talk show. This is a show show. And that's part of what I do

to warm up for anal, too, as opposed to trying to push the toy or butt plug into myself. I let the contractions of my own muscles

pull it in so that I'm not forcing anything and not causing any tears. It's safer if the sphincter's open up now. You understand how that works, right?

Wow. That is very scientific. March for Science and for learning about your vagina, vulva, and pelvic floor muscles.

Does everyone here know about the internal clit and how much bigger it is than just the tip that you see? You do know that.

Take a microphone. Take a microphone over there. At least you know something about that, right? I know it's like an iceberg.

The tip of the iceberg. You just see the tip and then underneath is where all the real... It's whole neck size.

There's much more muscles inside that also feel great things. I wish that I had a visual that we could go to for that because what it is,

is the tip that pokes out under your hood that everyone knows about and stimulates. The other part is it goes back in and creates almost kind of a sea

down around your vaginal opening. Find a diagram. Vulva, vagina. Your internal clit would be really stimulated

by girth or byatoi like this. That's what the vibration from this is doing when I turn it on, is hitting all the sides of my internal clitoris

and that's why it feels so good. Wow. Is it on right now? No. No, because I'm not going...

She can still talk. I know. You can still talk. So now it's on. Now it's on and it's amazing.

And I actually, when it's on, like to masturbate by pulsing my muscles because that brings it closer to everything. I told you we were going to get ready

for masturbation month with the expert, Riley Reyes. And we are. Wow, wow.

And by the way, sometimes we call that other side of the clitoris, the G-spot. That's often what it's called. It is like the female prostate.

The same feeling as the prostate. How's that feeling? That's very good. Thank you. Wow.

It looks really good. And Riley Reyes is kicking off masturbation month in Bonoboville. Thank you.

Giving us a masturbation education. There's a tutorial about your pelvic floor injury. That was just amazing. Can we have a hand, so to speak?

I mean, you know, it's about the hand. Let's give a hand to Riley Reyes for an amazing, amazing demonstration that really is very educational.

We didn't get the diagram, but of course we didn't want to cut away from that. But maybe now we can look at a little diagram. We're supposed to, no?

Look it up, guys. Get on the internet. It's because we let boys do it. Is there a girl back there? All the ladies up here, that's the unfortunate part.

Yeah, well, I think they didn't want to cut from the real vulva vagina to go to a diagram. So, okay. Wow. That was amazing.

Where's your mic? Thank you so much. There's lube on my mic now. Everything okay?

You know, I think that we could sell it on eBay for more. Yeah. Wow. Who doesn't want to play with this mic now?

Yes. Oh, wow. That is great. You're a very good teacher. Thank you, and thank you for letting me share with you.

I'm really enthusiastic about helping my freakiness become accessible because I feel like a lot of people see the things I do and think that it seems like some extreme stuff

that I can only do because I'm a porn star. But I think that everyone can have your tricky sex if they decide they want to explore. Helping freakiness become more accessible.

That's one of our mottos here on the Dr. Susan Block Show. Thank you for articulating that so beautifully, Riley Reyes. And yeah, let's have that diagram. We got one.

There it is. It's an external. It only shows the button. It doesn't show where the C is.

Okay, but it shows the vaginas. Basically, the round shape, though, is the outline of it. Yeah, it basically goes where you'll see the... Where the lips are.

Maybe are. See that little hole that says vagina inside of that? That's the outline of the inside of it. Where that vibrator went.

Amazing. Yeah. It's in the front of it. Did you have any questions for the teacher?

Mm-hmm. I can't go back here right now. Okay, but you're... Go home.

Call me in the morning. She still knows why that makes you a good teacher when you don't have a lot of questions, but you're that well showing. Students are speechless.

Yeah, you were... Honestly, you're very descriptive. You're very showing. Thank you so much.

A great educator. And that is great education. That's good education. That's what...

Trump doesn't pay for you guys. We have students here. We might as well give an education. That helps us with.

Yeah. Yeah, because, you know, I mean, they don't teach that in the usual school. And certainly Betsy Voss' idea of school doesn't teach that. That's unfortunate.

So speaking of which, we do have to punish Trump for that, for forcing us to take Betsy Voss. This is Seder magazine editor-in-chief Sarah's fantasy, her desire. I'm so excited.

You know, 100 days of fail punishment for Trump is to, I don't know, take a spanking, take an anal missile up his... I think she definitely said something about his butthole. His butthole.

Right. You know, you're very specific. I have a missile in my bag. You have a missile in your bag.

I'm sure I do. Okay, okay. And you are not Kim Jong-un. I'll have to go get this.

You know how to last. Yes. There's a basket of dicks back there somewhere. Everybody should...

Yeah, there is a basket of dicks, but I think she has one that she can... She has her favorite one. I trust her. She has one she really, really likes.

And it's special for you, Mr. Drumpf. Yes. You must be punished for this because this basically is just taking up all of our time, making satire that much more difficult.

Also, we've run into an issue where we used to make fun of the left too, but now we can't because Trump is... He's so terrible that any energy we're not using on him feels kind of wasted. And it feels, yeah, like you're, you know, really undercutting the resistance.

Exactly. But, you know, and it's true. It's true, you know. But it's much more fun to just have a centrist, I guess, like Obama.

But we don't... I mean, we never have a leftist running the government. No. I mean, I don't...

You're not Europe. Right. Europe's in a scary place too now. Even Europe will not.

You know, even France is either going to go like neoliberal or utter fascist, you know, any minute now. Oh, gosh. The seventh.

I brought a whole celebration with us. Oh, wow. Okay. You did.

Oh, this is to celebrate. Well, we are celebrating masturbation month and we are celebrating 100 days of resistance. Hey, look who's here, Aliyah Corsets. Come on up here, Aliyah Corsets.

Yes. Yay. And you're wearing a beautiful corset. Come to mama, you prodigal daughter, you.

Wow. Look at Aliyah Corsets. You look beautiful tonight, don't you? Hearty promise.

Tay, thank you into the microphone. Thank you. Wow. Appreciate it.

Yeah. Happy to be here. Yeah. And excited that it's masturbation month because you know it's my favorite.

That's your, I didn't know that was your favorite. Dr. Susie. But I loved the guidelines that you were giving and how you can like move your own muscles to make it easier.

Isn't she amazing? Definitely something that I do myself. I love it. Yeah.

Yeah. Follow her, be educated by her and buy her porn. I must. Yeah.

For sure. Okay. So, so Aliyah Corsets is here. Take off your jacket.

It's hot. I hate your jacket. Right. I don't have a lot of hate in mine.

It's hotter without it. Yeah. Right. Well, it's reasonable, right?

You know. Show off that corset girl. Mm-hmm. You're spilling out of it beautifully.

It's so bad. That's George. I now remember his name. Oh, yay.

This is George. Now that I can't see you, your name is rememberable. Yeah. Oh, all right.

You don't mind sharing a seat with Aliyah, do you? Yeah. Okay. You're good.

Good. All right. So now, we are going to punish Trump, and you should have a microphone, because you are going to speak about what is being punished for.

Okay. Editor, edit tricks in chief. I can do it in like a sexy voice if that's helpful. Yes, that would be actually okay.

Okay. So specifically Betsy DeVos or just shitty things in general. We'll start about. We'll start with Betsy.

Okay. So this is for Betsy DeVos advocating for charter schools because charter schools are only work in the neighborhoods that are wealthy. Also, stopping busing is the thing that happens in charter schools, and that doesn't

work when children from underprivileged areas can't go to better served areas. Ooh, why can't they go to better served areas because they've stopped the busing. Also, this is for letting people on the extreme right come out about their racism. It used to be a little bit taboo.

Also, this is for saying that weird thing about grabbing women's pussies. Yep, yep. Also, this is about the way you treat Melania, which feels creepy. Yes.

Also. That's why she won't stay in the White House. Yes. I'm very concerned for that woman.

Would you like to help me? Also, oh, are we, okay. Okay. Bring him back here.

Let's bring him back so he can be seen. Riley should have a chance. Yeah, Riley should have a chance. Let's just kind of, Riley's girlfriend is helping here with the leash.

Thank you, Amelia. Get your feet back here, Trump. Yeah, here we go. How about it, lady?

Okay. You know, he's getting a real treat here being spanked by Riley Reyes. But it is with, what is this? Like a police baton?

Yeah, we're really terrifying. That is terrifying. We're projecting him tonight. He deserves that.

Bitch slapping on the ass or something like that. Yeah. Okay. And here she goes.

Okay. This is for appointing Steve Bannon, the CEO and founder of an alt-right publication. This is for doubting the media and undermining Americans' trust in institutions that have gone and been a large part of our political process for many centuries.

Go, girl! Yeah. This is also for using the Constitution specifically and only choosing the parts that work for your agenda.

Woo! Also, woo! Let's see what else you've done. Okay, Murr.

Also, this is for proposing to lower corporate taxes from 30% to 15%. Who's going to pay the rest of those taxes? It's going to be the middle class and the lower classes. Yeah.

And how about his daughter? Because she's like his daughter spanking the Obama. Oh, also sexualizing your daughter is really fucking creepy. Yeah.

Yeah. Don't say you date your daughter and if you say it, don't say it in public. And don't say you have sex in common with your daughter. Yeah.

I don't love that. I don't love that he said that. I didn't know he said that till right now. And I don't love it.

That's what he said. Okay. Oh, also, you know who said Jeff Sessions was too racist to be a federal judge?

MLK's wife. Oh. She wrote a whole letter about it. And guess who he is now?

Attorney General. This is for that. Yeah. And he don't want to let us smoke our marijuana.

Yeah. He's trying to, you know, shut that down. That's why he's so straight wound. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. And how about the environment? Oh, okay.

Also, this is a cute thing. This isn't Trump so much as the Congress that he is letting operate, but you let coal plants dump their waste into streams. That's actually just evil.

That bill literally just said coal plants can dump waste into streams. That seems like comically evil. Also, and the pipeline, the pipeline, which Obama had finally,

although he wasn't excited about it, halted progress on when there's that many protests all over the country. You should probably not do it. And the missiles.

Also, this is for nuking Afghanistan. Not nuking them. It was just the mother of all bombs. So, you know.

Almost nuking them. Almost nuking them. Just one lower. Also, this is about.

And the weird thing is that we kind of dropped the mother of all bombs, which explodes like 100 people in that cave. And then a bunch of the Taliban fighters come out and just kill over 100 Afghani soldiers.

140. Yeah. So, it didn't accomplish very much. This is for provoking extremists, both domestically and overseas.

So, how about a missile where the sun don't shine? I think we have an anal play educator here with us tonight. That was terrifying. Those are so shocking.

Where's Gypsy? I don't know. I don't know. I have gloves in my bag as well.

You want to get a glove? What are we? I don't know. What are we doing?

We're setting off missiles. Yeah. All right. So, now crawling up to the stage is Danielle Watts.

Hello. And Chef B.Live. Hello. Right.

I just kind of want to put my pussy in this room. Yeah. I know. I know.

She has a thing for Trump, actually. She does. And we let her kind of play that out because we're all about trying to rehabilitate the situation.

Even though it's too good for him, you know, whatever can be done for our country, we will do. Okay. So, here is a glove.

A glove. A glove. And do we have an instrument that he would use? You can use this baton.

The baton. The baton doubles. Is this too much for you guys? No.

This is his punishment, you understand. It is his punishment. Leave your drawers. You don't need them here.

No. We're humbling you. This is free speech at its best. Ah, you know.

I think this goes beyond speech. We like action around here. And we, you know, I think you're turning the Facebook camera away from this.

Is that right? I turned this away. All right. It's been looking at just...

All right. Now, Mistress Liz, you are his governess, so you must do some of this work here. I don't know if everybody would like this view.

Wow. Wow. That is a man's innocence. Manly anus.

Right there. That's the last time you saw one of those. This close? I can say never.

Never, never. Won't be cornering that thing around. Especially under the lights, huh? It's an education, you know.

It's like medical school right here. Absolutely. For me, too, actually. This has never come up.

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Freaking circus.

Yeah. It is performance art. It is comedia erotica. Just like a nude color.

Yeah. Some hair. Of course, she has to take her shirt off there because this is sweaty work.

Don't want it to get in the way. Yeah, yeah. You gotta roll up your sleeves or just take them off. And now we have the Astro Glide.

Woo. And I'm sure Trump has a hairy ass. Yeah. I mean, you know, I would think.

This is Trump tonight. I don't think he's self-aware enough to shape his hairy ass, probably. Right. Right.

He wouldn't care. And that's probably one reason. I mean, that's how he thinks about the country. It's perfect if he can't see it.

Not in the White House. Yeah. Unless it's Chicago. Which he thinks is a hellscape.

Ooh. It's unfortunate how undereducated our president is. It's a good thing we have a bunch of students with us helping us educate the world.

We are educating. And Trump seems, you know, happy. I mean, at least his asshole is smiling. Yeah.

It's got a big smile. That's right. Hey, can you guys see his face? You photographers, you.

You want to come around here? Around here, especially because suddenly the fabulous topless Daniel Watts is amongst us. It got hot in here.

It sure did. And you are looking as more beautiful than ever. Yes. Donald Trump.

Thank you. First 100 days we are observing tonight. Donald Trump really brings up the nudist in me. Yeah.

Yeah. Why is that? God, why is that? I guess, I guess it's like the naked women that stood

in front of the Republican National Convention. Do you remember that? Oh, the naked women that stood in front of the Republican Convention.

Hundreds of naked women stood in front of the convention and held mirrors in their hands. Wow. I want a video of that.

Send it to me. I'll send it to you. And they didn't have perfect bodies. They were mothers.

They were, you know, they were what they were. Speaking of an imperfect body, here goes a missile, right? Oh, my God. Up one.

Okay, turn away if you don't want to watch it. But Trump is getting his proper punishment. Is that right, Editrix? Yeah.

Is that right? I can keep talking about poor policy decisions for life. Yeah, he's enjoying it though. But that's okay, because he's preoccupied,

and at least he's not dropping missiles while he's receiving one. So let's hear it for Riley Reyes. Nothing to worry about, folks.

And Mistress Liz. And of course, Mr. Trump for staying out of trouble for at least a few minutes. Is that a dildo?

That is, it is a police baton style dildo. Like an industrial size. Yeah, it's pretty big. He needs industrial size.

Yes, he does. Right. Yes. And I think he needs another whack with the,

well, maybe I should use the other one. What is Donald Trump's birthday? Does anybody know? He's a dirty slut.

Does anybody know Donald Trump's birthday? I know he's, he's not actually a cock, even though it's the year of the cock, and he is a cock, or he's a dick, actually.

But I think he's a dog. That makes sense. Oh, like his Chinese year. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

June 14th. So his birthday's coming up. He's a Gemini like me. Oh no, I feel bad.

I'm June 17th. See, this is why we have to punish him. Stealing my month. Happy birthday to you.

Yes. Stealing my month. Naughty fuck. Happy birthday, Mr. President.

Happy birthday to you. Thank you, Marilyn Daniel Watts. Very nice. Beautiful.

We're out of time, I think. Oh gosh. How much time do we have? Well, we changed the tape.

So let's close him up, right? Yeah. Close up shop. Somebody get Donald Trump a blunt.

Okay. Speaking of that, do we have time for a song? A uplifting... Sure.

The E-Core, The Wolf. Yeah. The Nobleville song. Right?

I think we do. Okay. So nobody answers me on this show. I really need to learn how to be a better femtom.

How much time do we have? We have. Okay. I think he wants to do she bad.

Yeah. I think so. Oh, that's nice. Okay.

So Mr. Trump, you should be in the corner. Or you don't have to pull your pants up. You just have to sit in the corner. Right.

You should be back here. Actually, yeah, yeah. That's good. She should put her feet right on you.

And... Just... Right, but keep your head up so everyone can see. This is like, you know, that kind of humiliation.

This is public disgrace. And what's your name again? Mistress Liz. This is...

Mistress Liz. That was wonderful. Thank you. This is a day-to-day thing for me.

This is a day-to-day thing. My favorite thing to do. We have fantastic people here. We really do here in Bonoboville.

And Mr. Bonoboville himself. He is so Mr. Bonoboville, he's wearing the T-shirt. And so Mr. Dr. Susan Blockshow, he is wearing the cap. And let's put your hands together.

It is masturbation month, so, you know, wipe off the stuff. And clap for Ikkor, the wolf! Or more and clap for the stuff in your hands. Do you hear me?

Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! And show off your shirt. Look at this shirt.

You can get it on Dr. Susan Block.com. Okay, he needs a microphone. He needs a microphone. Here, here.

Oh, they got two mics. Oh, you know Danielle loves you because she almost gave you her mic. Almost. That was preoccupying her, I think.

She doesn't give her mic at all. That's because I'm hoping you'll take your shirt off. Okay, are you going to help him? Help me set the mood.

I mean, we can rub nipples, and that would be a great celebration of the unity in the black community, you know. Wow, I didn't think of it that way, but yeah. We all got to come together. It's really important that we all come together.

All right. Together. And perhaps our featured porn star at Sex Educator Riley Reyes will also help to take this shirt off. Will you help to take the shirt off?

Maybe a little bit. Oh my God, you know how to strip off. He's all bad. Yeah, I'll keep Trump warm for you.

Let's take his shirt off. Everybody in the building, everybody say Bonoboville. Bonoboville. I can't hear y'all.

Bonoboville. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

One day, E-Core is going to take his pants off for us. One of these days. One day. That's what we're doing.

That's what we're doing. That's what we're doing. And we come back every week. Hey, give me some volume, babe.

Can we write that again, hey? Give me some volume, please. You got to tune in. Yeah, y'all ready?

All right. Yeah, I need a sexy babe. I'm going to dance with you. Sexy babe.

Come on, I need a couple of them. Oh, Riley, Riley, Riley. Oh, yeah, yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I can't drop it on your foot. I just want to watch Riley. I just want to watch Riley. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Look how she make it pain. Look how she chop it low. Yeah, I'm all about Riley. Yeah, that girl can go, uh, look how she, uh, look how she move that thing.

Come on, give me some, I need some volume, man. Yeah, that girl can go. She got me watching lightweight stalking within the smooth waist. She made me say, damn, thick like jam, ten-time down piece.

Add it up, silver dollar, maybe hollow. Just to make my breath a known number one. We should watch this stalking officially. He'll be masturbating this later.

Make it pain. The whole room shake from her ass. Quake, damn, baby, you got that pop, that's still the show. Get low, everybody on the floor.

Dooms, be taken in while she's shaking it. Back that thing, uh, like, she bad. Look how she shake that thing. Oh, Riley, Riley.

Somebody give this lady some dollar bill. Look how she shake that thing. Look how she move that thing. Yeah, really?

From the bar. Hey, everybody stop. And look at Riley pop. That thing, got her ready to spin the dope.

Oh, we up in Bonobo, uh-huh. Yeah, they showing me love, dub after dub. What if we can at best clap hands with the man. I don't even know, but this night for sure.

That deal, she ill. She said to keep no bills and strap on. Hold on real tight. Two of these styles and ride this drill.

I made it for the whole night. So give it to the living having no static. The better swim in the club right here. Yes, sir. I ain't lying.

They got her like that, she bad. Look how she shake that thing. Look how she make it bang. Look how she drop it low.

Yeah, that girl can go. Come on. Look how she shake that thing. Look how she move that thing.

Look how she make it bang. Yeah, right, let's go. No, stop. Because she got me turned by the way she poppin' away.

She poppy got me high. So don't stop. Go work that body, work that Riley. Make sure you don't hurt nobody.

Cause everybody watching you do your thing. Shake that thing, make it bang. Bang, bang, bang. I'm so mesmerized, so hypnotized.

By the way, she shake her ass sometimes. Gave me a ride, so I had to buy. More round, she put it down. But she kept me up all night.

She bad, she the bomb. Yes, she dynamite. Look how she shake that thing. Look how she make it bang.

Look how she drop it. Riley can go, dudes be taking it. Why she shaking it back? That thing up.

She bad. Look how she shake that thing. Look how she make it bang. Look how she drop it.

Look how she shake that thing. Look how she move that thing. Look how she make it bang. Yes, that girl can go.

Yes, she bad. Yes, she bad. Riley, she bad. Yes, she bad.

All these ladies is bad. You're bad. You're the wolf. Rocks the house.

In Bonobo. Yeah. Oh yeah. Only in Bonobo, y'all.

You know. Yeah, y'all got to be in Bonobos now. Even though we got a baboon in the White House. Baboons can be like Bonobos.

Read my book. And you'll find out more about that. This book is all full of lube. Yeah.

Okay, this one. Yeah, I mean, you find out how you can turn a bonobo into a baboon. I mean, a baboon into a bonobo. Geez, we got to change that.

And maybe even turn Trumpocalypse into a Femocracy. Yes, it can be done.

It will be done. And for Betsy DeVos, I'll say thy will be done, right? You know, even the religious schools.

We are religion. That's right, this is the church of Bonoboville. We are one. Yes, and we are one.

Testify, sister Danielle. Testify. Testify. What do we have? Two minutes.

Oh my God. That's a quickie. Yes, bring it on. Master Bayesian month.

Yes, yes. Bring it on, Danielle. And Chef Beeline, who got caught in a car having sex.

Yes, a dildo. Yeah, take it, whatever. At least you got the dollar bill. Yeah, so I don't have any time.

So I want to thank everybody. I want to thank the editors and writers of Seder magazine of UCLA.

Don't be a hater. Read the Seder. Sarah, Rachel, and George. And

I want to thank Mistress Liz and her Trump boy.

Only Trump was this good a boy. And I want to thank Ikkor,

my wolf. I want to thank the girlfriend of Riley Reyes. Also a student at UCLA.

So she brings us together. Right, all the different diverse parts of this show. Amelia.

And I want to thank our fantastic porn star, sex educator, Master Bayesian month cheerleader, Riley Reyes.

Yeah. And Shefty Live and Danielle Watts. I didn't know we're coming tonight.

I'm so excited. Yeah. And so to the Bulldogs. Yeah, brothers and sisters,

lovers and sinners. It's a hundred days of resistance. We got to do a hundred more and a hundred more and hopefully that'll be it.

But, you know, we got to get ready for Master Bayesian month because this is so, you know, neurosis inducing

that we all need an escape. So, you know, give yourself a hand, okay. And make like bonobos,

right? Go to my talk at DomCon 2017.

Saturday. High noon. Them Dom's of the Wild. Make like bonobos, not baboons.

Make love, not war. Make love to someone you love tonight. Even if that someone is you. I love you.

To talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else, you can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block,

your mistress of the Airways. But my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences

specializing in sex therapy over the phones. Anytime you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy

or a hot phone sex experience or a combination, my world renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away.

Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you, role play for you, fantasize with you,

no fantasy is too taboo and help you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes

to marriages. For more information, call us at 213-291-9497. That's 213-291-9497.

Anytime you need to talk. You're listening to Radio Suzy 1 on the World Wide Web.