Scorpio Passions: Happy Bday Capt’n Max, Blossom & the Bonobo Way!

Full transcript of Scorpio Passions: Happy Bday Capt’n Max, Blossom & the Bonobo Way! on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

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Ahoy there mates and primates. Primates. Yes indeed. Birthday bonobos, sailor babes, ocean lovers and land lovers, and fire survivors. Fem-tops, cum, Fem-coms, right? Fem-coms, and friends, porn stars, professors, all you children of sex. And we are all children of sex with a capital X. Can I get an amen?

Amen! Can I get an A-women? I want to welcome you to Bonoboville for Scorpio Passions. Yes indeed. Tonight we are celebrating some birthdays and all the birthday people have left the room. I can't believe this. Okay you birthday people. I'm right here. Oh oh well. I would say age before beauty but you are so

beautiful yourself and you are a little bit older than the other birthday person. But yes happy birthday Captain Max. Thank you Dr. Susie. Love of my life. I can't see you. I'm hiding. I can only hear you. You do that with me sometimes. I'm here though. You play that little sensory deprivation game that always makes me

want you more hearing that sexy baritone voice. Oh yes. Alright baby. Oh yes baby. Let's do it. Let's just dispense with the show and go upstairs. I know. Yeah baby. So I was going to tell a little bit about you. Go right ahead. Would you like me to. Sure. But maybe I have to take a pee first though I think. Oh you have to take

a pee. Yes. Well thank you for letting us all know that. Well I didn't want you to think I was a little bit of a shower fantasy going on in here. Okay well. I'll be back. But that spoils my whole beginning. Okay then I pee in my pants. Go right ahead. No problem. Now I feel guilty. No no no I'm fine. I'm fine.

You're guilty on your birthday oh my God. Depends. Depends. Right depends. We're on the high seas Captain. Yes we are. We're sailing rough seas. Sailing. We defeated the big sea. Okay. A few years ago. I'm trying to sort of segue into your life right now. You notice. Okay I'll just sit here in the corner. No no

come on in. Okay well I'll just stand up here. No let's. I'm going to sit here. Or you could sit. I could sit right here. Or on the other side. But then I move this. I have notes. On your life. There we are. Right. This is Captain Max. Captain Max happy birthday. Wave to my millions of fans. Captain Max.

Actually that's Prince Maximilian Rudolf. Leblavich D. Lubkovitz D. Phil and Jerry. Descendant of well there's the dad. On the Lubkovitz side actually that's Prince Lubkovitz on the page of the Arab spectator. Oh there he is. Oh yeah there he was. The prince himself. Yes the prince. Yeah daddy. On the Lubkovitz side. Yeah.

And then on the Phil and Jerry side we have Guy Tano Phil and Jerry. Wow. Wow. Harry did that. Yeah I just gave him the picture but he kind of framed it. That's your ancestor who was a friend of Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson. He was he was an Italian guy who a philosopher who wrote about freedom

and government and and liberty fraternity, equality. He was Italian. The French Revolution was very influenced by him as was the American Revolution. Yeah and he was good friends with Benjamin Franklin when they were writing the Constitution. And so this Italian of course says

what good is government. I mean what good is government unless we can find happiness the pursuit of happiness. The pursuit of happiness. Everything else is shit. If you can't pursue happiness in your life what are you worried about your car for? Right. You know so he you know this Italian is okay the pursuit of happiness

we gotta be happy. Gotta drink wine, have a little coffee. I love how he's doing an Italian accent. Make sure we don't get executed if we do something wrong you know so yeah. So this is your ancestor and you know you're kind of the result.

And that's what happened with all this freedom and all this stuff. This little kid was born during the Second World War. Right. With the bombs dropping around Italy but you were in the Vatican. I was in the Vatican hospital. It's not the Vatican's hospital.

This was next to the Vatican because nobody would bomb the Vatican. There's the little Mickey. You know so there it was. That was a painting by a nun by the way. Oh wow. That was cute.

Doesn't he still look the same? I wouldn't show. The problem with that was that all the women used to take my cheek and twist it and go oh you got real cute cheeks oh boy

or they take my nose and twist. But I grew up with some incredible women. I grew up with my mother. I grew up with my grandmother. I grew up with my great grandmother and I grew up with my aunt.

Female bonding. And they know how to raise the boy. And they kept saying you just be a nice boy, be nice to girls. That's a good lesson to learn. A basic lesson.

I mean they were old but they were good. You be nice now. Don't do nothing. So yeah so I came to this new country. I'm an immigrant. Right.

You are. You came on a boat like a floating caravan. Right. I came on a boat. I had on a birthday. Well that's actually later. But that's a great picture of you. Oh look at that.

We have to find the picture of you on the boat. But on a ship he came on a big ship of refugees fleeing war. In first class though. These were royal refugees.

These are quite refugee. Let's not make fun of first class. You're still were fleeing. You were fleeing first class.

That's a matter of right. That's it. That's what I'm saying. But I had a birthday on the ship. Not my birthday. But I had a birthday with the princes.

The last princes of the king of Italy was on the ship. So I got to sit there with her. And I was like seven years old. And I was really cute.

I bet you charmed her. And she was a little older. She was a little older than me. But I thought you know it's okay. I'm cute. I know.

What the hell. Maybe it all over worked. Anyway it didn't work. I didn't get to marry her. Oh well. That was it.

Her lost my game. At least it all worked out for us. It all worked out. So I went to Montclair, New Jersey.

Montclair, New Jersey was like a ritzy joint in those days. Clash of Jersey. The Promised Land. The Promised Land and there it was.

And I couldn't speak English of course. You were a refugee. I was a refugee. I couldn't speak just Italian.

And I was Italian. And Italians then, you know, weren't looked upon like, you know, really nice people. They were kind of people from the shithole in Italy.

Now you can show the picture of him as a young man. There he is. There he is from the shithole in Italy. On the phone asking somebody for money.

Or maybe he's romancing a girl. Probably that. I'm doing something like that. That's right.

So I'm in the school. And I'm Italian and I live on the right side of the tracks though. Because our city, the Italians lived on the other side of the tracks. The rich Italians lived on this side of the track.

But they couldn't buy houses. They were Italian. They weren't allowed to buy houses on that side of the track. So my father's Czech.

So he bought the house. And we moved in. Okay. That's how you get around that racism there.

That's it. There's always ways. You know, it doesn't make it right. But there are always ways to get around.

Always ways. Here I was. And I didn't speak so well. And all the teachers liked me.

Because I had nice cheeks. What cheeks were they talking about? What am I talking about? So there were two Jewish girls in the school.

And a Jewish guy. Not me. But I wasn't really interested in him. But I really liked the girls.

And so they helped me with my English. And they helped me with my math and stuff. They helped me with my homework. They did my homework and rubbed my cheeks.

Right. That's what serious girls do. That's what they did. And they invited me to the High Holy Days. That was a nice little Catholic boy.

So then Donna Horowitz, that was her name. Wrote a book. And it was a sex book. About the teachers.

Right. About the teachers. Anyone ever hear of Peyton Place? It was the original sex soap opera.

I have heard of that. The book had just come out. The book had just come out. On page 23 it says, I ran my fingers across her crotch.

The V of her crotch. The V of her crotch. People were outraged. They were playing this book with the V of the crotch.

And all that stuff going on. Wetness, who knows. The V of the crotch. What's going on down there?

I mean it is a V. Pushes were very secret then. You could seal. They weren't around.

Okay. So she says, I wrote this book. And I want to make copies of it. Now I didn't speak too well.

But I'm very good mechanically. I know how to use the mimeograph machine. So I'll print the book. So unlike today, you could just sneak into your high school.

The doors were basically open. Don't sneak into your high school. So I snuck in there. I would sneak in there at night.

And I would take the mimeograph paper. I don't know if you guys know what a mimeograph machine is. It's a piece of wax paper. It's a horse and buggy.

It certainly is a horse and buggy. The newspaper world. So I'm sitting there doing this night after night. And we're starting to spread these around the school.

And of course, I ain't that smart. But the teachers are going, oh, this looks like our mimeograph machine. This looks very familiar. Similar or familiar?

So one night I'm in there. I know where these came from. I'm going to print some more. So I start printing and printing.

And then suddenly the lights go on. And there's the principal of the school along with the secretary. You did high? Show the other picture of him from that era.

Did we show both pictures? I think so. There's the other one. That's when I went to Italy.

That's when I did. I was 15 in Italy and I was doing Elvis imitations. And Jerry Lee Lewis imitations. I couldn't get work over there.

So I was working in a theater with all these dance girls from all over the world. Look at your aunt. What's happened to me? Can I take a short break?

Sure. Calm down. He's fascinating. We're going to get back to it.

A present that I had given you on your birthday four years ago was the bonobo way. November 8th is your actual birthday. And it was four years ago that I gave you the book. So here's another one.

And I just want to give out bananas. Do you want a banana? I'm giving it to you. I wanted to give all of our guests bananas.

Also something to munch on while they hear you talk about your stories. And I want to introduce my guest. This is Mother Tink. Hi, Mother Tink.

Yes, have a banana. Happy bonobo birthday. Happy Max's birthday. And by the way, I should just run run with it.

Happy Blossom's birthday. Happy birthday. Thank you. All right.

And so you've got your banana. Dig right in. Or suck it. Who can eat a banana the sexiest?

The competition has started. Now we have Sunshine McWayne right next to her. Hello. I brought a birthday present.

Oh, wow. By the way, there's an area for those of you that brought presents. I have a special area where you bring my presents. There is a section.

And right here next to me on my right. Not that she's right. She's certainly not alt-right. We had she-god Claire.

And this is her first time here. So she's a virgin. That's what she said. And so, you know, we're excited about that.

And she has a wreath around her head. And Blossom, of course. And yes, the wreath looks like it's in honor of Blossom perhaps. Oh, very good.

We were all kind of talking about the Blossom aspect. Whoa. And now we start out. Okay, we're certainly supposed to do a spanking,

not a breaking of bones. Excellent. Okay. Calm down.

Bonoboville. Bonoboville. I think it'd be very sexy on the floor. There they are, being very sexy on the floor.

You bet. And before you get super sexy on the floor. What? Why are they yelling?

I don't know. It was probably a fairy that wanted a banana. They said I'm on the phone. Bonobo Party.

But let's just say that I want to introduce my last but not least. I got a pronouncer name right, though. This is the challenge. It's not Susie.

It's Sisi. Sisi. Sisi. Sisi.

Hi, everybody. Right here. The ship of fools for love. The womb room.

In the little love church of Bonoboville. Welcome. And we are celebrating the fourth anniversary of the Bonobo way. So we're having some bananas.

Are there more bananas? I don't know. Here's another one. So everybody can have some bananas.

And now we can move on with Max's life. Actually we should get rid of my little podium here. Because somebody could just take it away. Can you move this guy here?

Then I'll have more room. Can you move this guy here? And maybe you can get somebody to pull that chair together. Pull it together.

It's the BBW mark that I left here. There you go. I voted. Do you see that? We're going to talk about that.

I know the whole voting thing. We did win the house. That's another thing we are celebrating. I mean, we being people against Trump.

What can I say? I'm not totally with the Democratic Party in any stretch. Especially as far as sex workers are concerned. Because they are all fuckheads as far as I'm, you know.

They all voted for SESTA FOSTA. I don't know if you all know about that. But almost all of them. All the senators except for Ron Wyden.

And of all people, Rand Paul didn't vote for SESTA FOSTA. So they're cool people. But everybody else did. So we need to educate them about, you know, sex work is real work.

And let's see. And by the way, our old friend Dennis Hoff. He passed away. But he won the election.

The election. Our old friend Dennis Hoff, who we kind of had a falling out with since he became friends with Joe Arpaio. Since he became a Republican.

Really, I mean. And started calling himself the Trump from Paramp. Okay. We have a new chair from our fabulous.

Collection. Blossom green backstage. So he actually rest in peace. Dennis Hoff.

He won the election. He was, of course, the pimp of pimps. He was, he owned the Moon Raid, Bunny Ranch, Bordello and Kitty's Cat House.

And did the HBO show. And he was the Hilton of Bordello's. Yeah, Bordello's. He owned most of the Bordello's in Nevada.

And you know, he was around your age, really. And he had a birthday. And it's kind of scary because he died right after his birthday.

He had this big party, a couple of parties. Maybe that was, although you're kind of having a couple of parties. You had a big party the other night.

It was impromptu. We had a spontaneous party the other night. It was fabulous. It was really nice, actually.

And it was weird because at that time that we were having a wonderful time. And we did. The shooting was going on in Ventura.

And God, what a, what a bring down. I know. Except that's why the Bonobo way is important. You know, make love, not war.

We have to shoot the gun between our legs, boys. And you have to give up your fucking guns, okay? You have to give up your fucking army guns. And you veterans too who come home and kill.

There's no count there. You've got to give up your guns. You don't need guns. Guns kill.

They kill your children. They kill you. Shoot the gun between your legs. Usually the other gun is some sort of compensation.

And I think that a lot of my guests are very well aware of that. And it's just tragic when you see this guy seemed like another incel, really.

He seemed, he was a marine with PTSD. He was, you know, he harassed his, actually his track coach who was a woman, a beautiful woman. I just read that article.

Yeah. Sunshine. She was like sexually assaulted. And they told her to be quiet.

Right. He told her to be quiet. Because they didn't want to ruin his career. As a marine.

Yeah. This guy's got what it takes. And you know what? He did.

He did very well as a marine. He does have what it takes. Because they do like predators after all. What are they doing?

These are our killers. And it's fucked up. And they train him to be even more of a predator. Not just grab an ass, but go out and shoot people.

Killing in our name. In our name. It comes from a sex drive. It comes from a sex drive that needs to be understood

and loved and formed and shaped by loving but firm, mostly dominant women. Like you were shaped by women. Like grandma.

Great grandma. And then you became a great pornographer. So let me finish. Wait a minute.

Okay. So my first crime was this. My first crime. Oh my God.

My first crime was this mimeograph machine. I knew he was Italian. My first crime. And so I soon figured out that this was not a free country.

And that I may be Italian. I may not be able to speak English. But I'm going to make this as free as I can. Fuck everybody else.

Just for me. So that everybody has freedom. The freedom to speak. And the freedom to vote.

And the freedom to pursue happiness. The pursuit of happiness. I'm just getting my little penis. Anyway, it was all downhill since then.

I've been prosecuted 23 times. I've been prosecuted for industrial espionage. I've been prosecuted. You name it.

You name it. But we've also won some battles here. You could not arrest. You could not arrest journalists anymore in California under

criminal libel statutes. Because when Angie Dickinson filed the file, the complaint against me, I move over here. Yeah.

We're going to switch places. We'll be right back. We're going to switch places. Because then I'll be all near this.

Oh yeah, baby. Oh. Happy birthday. Great day there.

Nice dick. So we had a lot of nice. Dick there. Little penis here.

Something for all sizes, I tell you. We had several nice victories that have helped freedom. Now, interestingly, Mr. Trump is trying to bring back the criminal libel statutes against journalists.

So that they can arrest them like they arrested me. Well, it took away Jim Acosta's White House past. Yeah, right. Over a doctored tape that Info Wars doctored.

Oh my God. He's a nationalist. People don't know what nationalists are. Well, he said he was a nationalist.

Yeah. He means a racist, first of all, white racist. It means that. And there were a couple of great nationalists.

One was called Hitler. He was a nationalist. The other one was called Mussolini. He was a fucking nationalist, you know?

So these nationalists don't have a good record. You know, they end up, one of them ended up in a gas station in Torino hanging on Milano, hanging upside down Mussolini on upside down along with his family and friends.

Right. So. On that note. Nationalists.

So on that note, I'm 75 years old. All right. I'm 75 years old and tonight I was watching a video. Wow, that's all my fans.

They're outside. They couldn't get in. There's too many people in here. And I was looking at this video, this 28 to 26, 27 squirts.

What was that? Oh yeah. We were showing that last week. I was watching that.

With Dume. With Dume. The geyser of desire. She squirts like a geyser.

26 times. 28 times. 28 times. I was making this.

Anyway, the video is really extraordinary and beautiful. And as I looked at that. Thank you. I said to myself, what the fuck have you been doing?

And I remembered my, I remembered my gaitano. And I said, I'm pursuing happiness. Fuck you all. That's right.

You're my angel. You're my prime mate. You're my captain. So pursue happiness.

And you will have everything in life that you need. Honestly. I know. I'm trying to make you happy.

Okay, is that it? Am I done? No, no, you're not done. But I mean, you know.

Okay. All right. I mean, do you want to be done? Yeah.

Dume me, baby. Yeah, sure. Okay, go on. Okay, so let's go on now.

I'm going to leave at some point. No, I'm not going to go on with everything. You want that? You don't want to hear about my arrest and the Mansons.

And, you know. He's got a lot of stories. Manson sounds interesting. And the mafia in prison.

Can we just have an episode about him? Yeah, she wants to, you, you can just keep talking. Oh, no, no, that's okay. I'm going to leave it to you guys.

But I want to thank you for being here. And I should be alive. It's after my birthday. I'm like, what's his name up there?

And he's okay. He's up somewhere. Dennis. Dennis.

Maybe he's in hell. I don't know where he is. Well, he's somewhere. He's the next place.

He's the next place. He's not here. He's not good place. He doesn't have to worry about anything.

You know. All right. Because running a bordello is tough. Let me tell you.

Not that I've ever run. Yeah, no, we don't run bordellos. No, but we have respect for people that run bordello. Right.

We love bordellos. You know, an aspect of sex work. There's all kinds of sex work. Okay.

Now I can stretch out. You know how it is when your husband leaves the bed. You can just kind of stretch out. So anyways, let's see.

So mother Tink, what'd you do with your doggy? He's down there on the floor. Oh. Passing out.

Yeah. He's just getting lulled by Max's lullaby voice. And there's sunshine. Hello.

Stripper, comedian, femmecombe, and she-god. Hello. She-god Claire. There's a few women named she-god.

That is incorrect. That is incorrect. Yes, there's only. I am the only she-god to my knowledge.

And I check regularly. Oh, okay. I'm that narcissistic. Wow.

I don't mean to, you know, disagree. And I am kind of pagan. So I think there can be many she-gods, actually. True.

I think so. Women are gods. Yeah. I mean, and there's goddesses, of course.

Some people like that word. And what's her name? Ariana Grande saying, God is a woman. I mean, that's God.

She-god. She-god. Right. So there you go.

And there is Sizi. Sizi. Sizi. Sizi.

Sizi. Sizi. Sizi. Sizi.

Sizi. Sizi. Sizi. Sizi.

Sizi. Sizzling. Sizzling. Sizzling.

Sizzling. Sizzling. Right. Okay, you guys.

Well, now what do we do? I mean, the birthday people are gone. Blossom has already left. Where is that flower?

I'm not really sure. Blossom. But, you know, it's the birthday people. You let them do their thing.

Yeah. You know, because some people, it's like, it's my party. And I'll cry if I want to. Do whatever the hell that I want to.

I hope she's not crying. Okay, Blossom. Blossom, let us know. No, no, no.

She's coming back. Okay, okay. She seems happy. She's flittering around.

So are you a dominatrix and a financial dom as well? I'm primarily a humiliatrix. I'm mostly humiliate men. Humiliate men.

Oh, well, we've got someone for you to humiliate here. Oh, and I would love to. On the condition that he doesn't get off to it. Now, okay.

So do you want to come up here? No, there he is. The birthday girl. Yeah, okay.

That's rather messy. That part. Touch it. This is, oh, there's Blossom.

Oh, there's a banana peel. Remember, he likes this thing. But you know what? I heard what was happening.

So maybe not. So, okay, the thing is, yeah, his hat, he's there. In the sailor theme for Captain Max. And yeah, I mean, he actually lost his mushroom pee pee.

Thank goodness. Because it was fake. He was faking out Stormy Daniels. And he does have the Yeti pubes though.

I believe that. And he was, you know, kind of called out by the Wall Street Journal as having signed all that stuff. That's him. You know, he can't deny it.

Of course he does. And his base doesn't care. But you know what he is. I do.

I actually have a clip that you can find on any of my clip stores called, let me tell you why Donald Trump is the smallest dicked cuck. Oh, right. If you'd like to find it. I have it.

It's out there. And I'd be happy to tell you. So can you come sit next to me? I would love to.

And I know he's got like these big balls, but a little tiny dick. These are prosthetics. Yeah. They are prosthetics.

Just like the, we had a mushroom on top of this. Also prosthetics. We lost that. She made it.

But he does have, you know, real Yeti pubes, as you can see. So maybe you could hit his balls with the bonobo way. I think that would be a good lesson for him. And I'll hold your microphone so that you have freedom of movement.

I'm going to give you something you've needed for a long time. How does it feel? You like it. We know you like it.

You're the smallest dick cuck there ever was. Whoa. And that's, that's what I would give him. I mean, that's all he gets for free.

Okay. Well, for our country, because, because you know, oh, for our country, I would go to no end to torture his sad mushroom and prosthetics. And I must say, I got it.

Don't forget to get it. You know, the fires are, were so devastating yesterday and still are today and will be tomorrow and his tweet and his tweet. Okay.

So put the tweet if everybody did. Okay. Well, that's a beautiful picture of fire. You know, the horrible thing is horror is beautiful in a way.

If you get the right picture, but, but the tweet was, was really just alarmingly. There is no reason for these massive deadly and costly fire forest fires in California. You can just imagine him tweeting this while he's sitting on the toilet excerpt, except that forest management is so poor.

Billions of dollars are given. Can you be hitting him? How is wrong with him? Billions of dollars are given each year with so many lies.

Yeti forest fire. All because of gross mismanagement of the forest remedy now. Or no more fed payments. What a fucking baby and a bully.

Oh, hit him girls. Oh my God. I'd like to give this pew forest a fire. No, I know.

And we're not usually this kind of violent. I'm truly, I'm not. I'm a humiliatrix. I'm not.

I know. I know. Physical quality of the air around us here in California. I actually walked outside earlier today and it's about like burning rubber.

Yeah. I was like, what? I mean, didn't, didn't treat. Why don't you stand up and hit him?

Also, we'd like to see your ass. You know, everybody was telling me that my ass looks really good. Yeah, I know. Thanks mom for buying me this dress, by the way.

Thank you mom. Yeah. Exactly. I'm just trying to move the orange feather from Halloween.

But I guess it's there. Actually, it fits. You know what? He's got a bunch of Yeti pubes.

Carpets matched. You can't forget the orange. Damn oompa-loompa. Damn oompa-loompa.

Oh my God. All right. All right. I guess we've had enough of our Trumpocalypse therapy for now.

It's interesting. I actually had a discussion, a small political discussion with my dad today and then I wore the dress. My mom bought me on the show.

So there we go. Well, I think that we don't have a lot of time before the break. And so we're probably going to do the cake after the break or I don't know. Or how much time do I have?

I mean, I'm not going to pretend there's no cake. There's a cake? Wow. I know that.

How much time do I have folks? 13 minutes. Wow. Okay.

Let's do, you know what? Blossom, where are you? Blossom, come on over here, you birthday girl. You naughty birthday girl.

I have to get your ass at some point. Where's the microphone? Okay. Where is the microphone?

Okay. Okay. Where's it? Get a microphone.

Okay. Okay. So I guess you guys have to share. Or you can share.

Oh, was it you? You can come sit next to Blossom. Sunshine, are you going to be here? Come on up here.

She's like, I'll get punished by you. There's one right next to you. Oh, there's a microphone. All righty then.

So, happy birthday, Blossom. It's not quite your birthday, but it's like almost. Thank you, Dr. Susan. And you are Blossom here.

And Blossom has been here a few months. That's such a cute picture. I think I had it written down how many months, but I don't remember. So cute.

And yes, she's a kitty cat. I am a kinky kitty cat fighting for freedom and love. With a pussy. Because pussy's power.

Okay. We haven't seen the pussy. No, no, no. Yeah.

Well, some of us have. Baby, sort of. I mean, I don't know. I've seen parts of.

She has. Anyway. Anyways, anyways. So, so Blossom is blossoming.

And, you know, what are you still in your 20s, right? You're like, yes, I am. There's the Yeti pubes. They were.

They're shedding. You know, you're in your 20s, you're millennial. Yes. And, you know, you're a bonobo.

I definitely am. And you're bright. You're beautiful. And if there's going to be a future in this hellhole of a

Trump apocalypse. Self-destructive. You are the future. Okay.

Hey, everybody is a future. Everybody is a future. Blossom. Right.

I mean, because if we don't make a future. Nothing will blossom. If you don't make a future. Exactly.

So, you know, we've got work to do. And we've got playing to do. Feel pleasure, not pain. Love yourself and love everything.

As long as it's conceptual. Try to make the pleasure as organic as possible. As eco-sexual, using limited fossil fuels. Sex is a good idea.

You know, it doesn't. I mean, yeah. Sometimes you have to drive to get laid. It's true.

But the actual sex act. No relation. I mean, I guess you couldn't use, you know, like an electric car or something like that.

And then you'll be safe. Right. So, uh, so Blossom is the future and Blossom Green, I think you should have a birthday drink.

Hell yeah. Bonobo. For Bonoboville communion. Okay.

And so, you know, I mean, we have the news and the old. Here we go. Here we go. I have to lick some salt off.

You have to lick the salt. It's required to teach this church. Can I do double Bonoboville communion? It's your birthday.

You can do what you want to. Absolutely. It's your birthday. You can do what you want to.

I want both the late. I'm ready. All right. So let's just ask you, uh, did you grow up in a

specific religion or me? Yeah, like Christianity. Christianity. Did you ever do communion?

Christianity. Okay. And did you enjoy it? Yes.

Drinking the wine. Drinking the wine. All right. Well, this involves, uh, drinking something

different in honor of Blossom Green. It is Agua coca leaf liqueur. It's an herbal drink. So we're very organic.

And it's made from the coca leaf, but it's not cocaine. And it's, uh, you know, our Bonoboville communion drink. And so now you've chosen two altar girls that have never done this before.

Okay. Yes. That's. Can I have one from everyone?

I just 10 minutes. Okay. So I believe that Blossom being a birthday girl at, um, the turn of the, um, segment, uh, is going to do a full, uh, party

Bonoboville communion. So we're all going. If it's okay. I think I'm ready to do it.

Producing one nipple or two, if you like. Everybody get ready, ladies. Everybody, um, so. One nipple?

Yeah. One nipple. Or it could be two if you don't want to be even, but one at least.

How many shots is that? One, two, three. Okay. Just one big one.

Just one big one. One big one. But you have to go around and wet them all first. Of course.

I mean, I, I go around and salt them all. I know that. Okay. I like that.

I was, I was being responsible, not taking some shots. Well, I'm the only nipple out. Where's the other nipples? Okay.

This is free the nipple. Free the talk. Okay. I can't hold my.

I do. I can't. I hold my microphone. Okay.

I'm going to go. I'm going to go clockwise. I'm going to go. Okay.

You have about eight minutes. Now to Susie. Do you have the. Ready?

I do. I have this already. I'm just doing it. I know.

I'm going to be right after you. I assure you. Okay. But you're going to do me first.

Honey. Yeah. Do me good, baby. I'm glad.

Yeah. That made me a little hard. Okay. Now wait.

We're not done. Yeah. Okay. And now we salt.

Two rounds. I didn't realize those two rounds. My knees. Salt the nipple.

Okay. And salting. Okay. The air is dry.

I'll tell you. Beautiful. This is going to be a big shot. I'll do Dr. Susie lap.

She'll give me the communion. Wipe that off so it doesn't look like dandruff. All right. Hey, Harry.

Lick me, baby. My girl. All right. Okay.

So now you're going to get between all of our legs. Oh my God. Okay. So we're going to make a big circle.

Don't threaten me with a good time. Where did I put the agua? It's always a good time. Oh, there it is.

Okay. So now we're all going to make a big circle opening our legs. Because, you know, I told you she's a pussy. Okay.

Um, so do you have to keep those jeans on? Can you take the jeans off? Keep the boots. Yeah, I wouldn't mind the boots.

Oh, wow. Okay. This is exciting. Hey there, baby.

This is an exciting birthday. All right. All right. You guys, you guys have all your pants on.

I tell you, I'm going to spread my legs. All right. You don't have pants on. Very good.

Okay. So down we go. And I'm going to spread my legs. Jesus, we love you.

Love us. Right. Mother Earth. Oh, bless these Scorpio birthdays.

And agua on a waterboarding bonobo style. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Blossom green.

Happy birthday. We like your nipple. It's all good. No one was upset about the nipple.

No one is upset about the nipples. How does the birthday boy like all the nipples? We all love the nipples. The pursuit of happiness.

How do you like my two hats? Very important. Gorgeous. Thank you.

Stunning. Two hats. Two hats are better than one. I got asked the other day if I had ever heard about a saying about putting a hat on a hat.

A hat on a hat? Yeah. I was told that putting a hat on a hat meant you were overdoing something. I totally am.

I like overdoing things. I'm always overdoing things. A big hat's kind of just like two hats. Three minutes.

You have three minutes, Dr. Susie. But what I try to under do, although I'm not perfect, I try to under do my carbon footprint. Yes. That's what Bonoboville is all about.

But in terms of wearing more than one hat, yeah. I'm all about it. I don't think that's saving the world. I think your hats are saving the world.

My hats are saving the world. Your hats are saving the world. So happy birthday, Captain Max. Happy birthday, Blossom Green.

Happy birthday, Bonobo Way. I'm so excited to be with all these fabulous ladies. Sissy. Yeah.

And a she-god. Two minutes. Two minutes. And sunshine.

And tink. And yeah, we're going to be back. Don't come yet. And don't go away.

We'll be right back. Hi. I'm Dr. Susan Block. And I've just written a new book called The Bonobo Way inspired by my love for the

make love, not war, great apes. You know, the ones who have a lot of sex in a bonobo sutra of positions, including face to face. But it's not just how bonobos have sex.

It's how they use sex to prevent murder and war, really. They're the only great apes that have never been seen killing each other. They practice what I call peace through pleasure. With the females gently dominating the very happy, very sexually satisfied males.

Bonobos are special, partly because they just are. And partly because they're very, very close to us, almost 99% genetically similar to us when it comes to being human, even being humane. Bonobos can teach us so much, which brings me to us and more specifically to you.

Is your inner bonobo longing to swing free? Would you like to tap into the hot, natural sex energy within you? Bet you would. So you can better enjoy the pleasures in life and cope with the pain.

You know, the pain. And have more orgasmic, organic, sustainable sex. Who doesn't want that? Greater lust, greater trust, and better anger management.

And who couldn't use a little bit of that these days? So get the book Learn the Bonobo Way. You'll be glad you did. Then you'll want to join Bonoboville, a new global village for Bonobo lovers and friends.

And one last thing, the real Bonobos are highly endangered. So a portion of all book sales go to Bonobo Conservation Groups, working to save the wild Bonobos from extinction. Read the Bonobo Way and learn why this could be the most important

eco-sexual movement of our times. And improve your love life. We're listening to Radio Susie One on the World Wide Web. And now, here she is, Dr. Susan Block.

You notice how I've been teasing my banana. And I'm riding the big banana. Thank you, Jacob Sokoloff. It's Danielle and Danielle Wants and Sheffi Lives Patron.

See, they don't realize their financial dominatrixes. They just think they're artists. But, you know, a lot of artists are really thin doms, right? I think so.

Kind of. Or maybe the other way around. A lot of thin doms are artists. Anyway, this is the Dr. Susan Block show. We've got some thin doms.

We've got some artists. We are celebrating Scorpio passions. Because it's that Scorpio time of year, brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners.

That time when you're either going to suck a banana or destroy it. Or it'll destroy you in a big, I don't know, banana attack. Anyway, it's a kind of a risky time.

It's a risky time. But it can be a great time. It was the time that my primate, my Captain Max, who's behind the camera, a Facebook camera right now,

hey, Facebook camera. And I'm just playing with the mustache of Jacob Sokolov's banana. Delicious. And I think this is all okay with Facebook.

And we have a new guest here. Come on up here. Come on up here. And this is Riannan Arons.

Hi. Looking very kind of, I don't know. Like, you're looking like you could have gone to an AFI screening.

I actually just did. How did she have to magic the psychic powers? I kind of, I don't know. At Hollywood.

I have that cultural, sepio-sexual understanding. No, I think I saw it on your Twitter. I mean, just smell like AFI. What did you see?

Queen of Diamonds, the newly restored version by Nina Mankes. Oh. Restored. Art House.

Indeed. Out of Me Too Guilt, the Academy restored a bunch of feminist films, this AFI Fest. And so I went to Electron Sex and Power.

That was very amazing. Very amazing. Well, you look very amazing. Can we see your outfit?

Can you model it? I'm usually not wearing this much clothing on this show. Not usually, no. No, I feel very overdressed.

I think we should put on the kinkster, and you should take some of that off. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Would everyone like a little strip tease? Yeah, she's late. She should strip, right? She's late.

She should strip. Here's Blossom, the birthday girl. Give her a little lap dance, too. You got it.

You got it. Come on, sit up here. Blossom, okay. You got to give me a birthday strip tease.

I'm going to get the lap dance of your life. Actually, I'm a really bad lap dancer, which is why I went into domination. I'm just going to qualify in this interaction.

It's mad. Try not to break that stool. Oh, we already broke more chairs than that. We're breaking chairs now.

Let's come to that. Breaking all the rules. I think my gin and moisture is looking at it. I mean, how could you not?

Exactly, exactly. Can you show this on Facebook? Look at this. Did you find a sexy bra finally?

No, I'm still looking. They're just that big. They're just that big. They're just that great.

38G now. That's it. I'm sending donations of 38G. Nice bra.

Thank you. See what that does to my winky? Wow. I got a big banana over this.

Yeah. We're all waiting for the big man right here. Woo! Facebook cameras go away.

Woo! You can't. You can't. You literally, you're not talking with the microphone.

So, do it again. You can't. You're microphone-spaking. You're not talking with the microphone.

Mike said it. It wasn't even her birthday next day. You were great. You were great.

I don't know who ever told you you were great. You're a rock dancer. We're fucking soft. Take a bow.

Brothers and sisters. Lovers and sinners. Fresh from the air. Round of applause.

Film screening. Woo! Amongst us, haters,

take the music down. Thank you. Carmina Formosa. The kinkster.

And it's not kink month anymore. It's Scorpio time. Naughty November. And the anniversary of the Bonobo Way.

Which is why I'm riding a banana. And, you know... Because that's... Errr.

Feels good. Not quite as good as a Sybian, but it makes a nice noise. So, here you are, Rihanna.

Is it? So, I think that we should maybe if I made the banana vibrate. Oh.

Well, the motor bunny vibrates. The motor bunny does vibrate. I would just like to throw out there that the motor bunny is available

to the birthday girls. For birthday girls. Oh, no. No, no, no.

A little birthday motor bunny. I'm a cat. Oh, awesome. And then there's riding the big banana.

And then there's the typical thing you get on a birthday. What's that? I'm just kind of hamming to my

Bonoboville staff. I may have to get off the banana. So, yeah. What do we usually do on

birthday? Splosh, right? Oh, cake. Ah, cake, cake, cake.

Wait, wait. Before that, would anyone else like to do a strip tease? Hey, who wants to show

how good they can walk it? I'd be happy to spank you. I want to give my present. We are going to do the spanking.

I just want to offer the strip tease. Would anyone like to do one? I have a present. You have a present.

Yeah. I mean, don't talk off the microphone. There's people that are wearing a lot of clothes tonight.

Jeans is a fetish. I believe in you. I was just wearing a lot of clothes. It's a very easy problem to fix.

That's true. I was wearing more clothes than I've ever worn in my life on this show. Up until about 20 seconds ago,

and now I'm at Squawk Institute status quo. Bonobos are not a clothing. Have a banana.

Yeah, you're the only one that hasn't had a banana. Well, that's one way to eat it. Mmm.

Enjoy it. Anyone want some fruit? All right. My melons.

I get the bananas and melons. It's a fruit salad. I have a fruit salad right here. Sissy, sissy, sissy.

What do you want to do? Anything? What do I want to do? I want to promote my movies.

I want to hear about our movies. Movies, please. Movies in my bag. Go, go, go.

Go, go, go, go. Watch it. There's some cakes coming in. Oh, oh, never mind.

Incoming cakes. Okay. Incoming cakes. After.

After. Oh, God, is that a penis? Cakes. Cakes are coming in.

Whoa. Okay, but this is not the birthday girl. Here's a birth. Max, come on here.

I'm right here. Oh. That looks awesome. Is it nutting?

It's no nut November. What is it? What's going on? We have genital cakes.

So, you know. This one's for you. Max, what do you mean? You can wear it or eat it.

You can eat it. You can play with it. Now. I'll help you eat it.

But yours has the icing. Kinky. This. It's going together and that'll be kinky.

Look at this. Beautiful. Your back is to the camera. Okay.

Yes. You like my cake? I like your cake, baby. Nice.

Are they supposed to represent your balls? No. Okay. Okay.

Because you're holding them. They're cream. I don't know. There's only one candle here.

Whoops. Whoops. Yeah, I don't want to fall in there. Beautiful.

Okay. And let's have a birthday. People come right here. And we'll have to mix the banana.

Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Thank you. Okay.

All right. Motorboat. Oh, did you blow it out already? Yeah, I blew it out.

We didn't sing Happy Birthday. Okay. We have to light it again. We have to light it again.

More fire. Light it again. We don't have a lighter. Echor has fire.

Echor is always good. There's so much fire out there. Okay, here we go. Echor is, I hope you're going to be slamming.

I hope you appreciate it. I got you. I got Anna to make you each a different cake, according to something.

It's quite nice. It's a nice cake. It's a nice cake. It's a beautiful cake.

Beautiful cake. You don't like the cake? No, I love the cake. It's cakes.

Good. Nice. Okay. So, and a one and a two.

Get on the microphone. You sing? Zizi? Kind of.

Okay. Here we go. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday. Captain Max. And Blossom. Blossom, happy birthday to you.

I made it more. Thank you. Make a wish. Wow.

Motorboat. Motorboat the titties. Can I feed you? No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no. He doesn't like that icing. I'm going to get Rihanna to lick some. I have to blow out the candle.

Oh, yeah, you got to do that. I think I have to blow that out. Here. Oh, yeah.

Happy birthday. That was good, huh? First try, I did that. That was good, honey.

I did it in one try. Right. It's a little, you know. Can you do that?

I can do a lot of things. Okay, let's try it. Give her a microphone or she's going to get spanked. You missed it.

Okay, we're going to do it again. I think it was good. Okay, so can we have a little more splashing now? I mean, is that a minimum?

No, what do you mean? No, what do you mean? What? Are you going to splash the carpet?

No, not the carpet. I would do dignified splashes. This is from my Kia. As long as we're not doing this room.

Okay, awesome though. She keeps talking off the microphone. All right, so do you want to tell another story? No, no, I'm just here.

Okay, you're just here. With my cake. Yes, I see that. Well, I was thinking.

I'm guarding my cake. I was hoping. I love this cake. Put a little, like here.

I loved it. There's like frosting on every single dress I've ever worn in this show. It's like a badge of success of some... Woo!

Best part of the show. Well, I know you don't like that stuff. No, no, no, no. See, we do so much together,

but every once in a while there's something he doesn't want to do, so I just find somebody else. He doesn't like the squash thing. He barely has a spice of life.

I tell you, until I started being his honey, he wouldn't even share his food, right? I wouldn't. You wouldn't even share your food, right?

So at least you splashed everything. If you order something, it's too shrimp. I eat half of my husband's food and suddenly somebody takes the shrimp.

There you go. So what kind of entertainment would you like, Prince Max? I'm doing fine, man. This is great. This is great.

If you get to be 75 years old, and you're sitting here looking at this, you have done well in life. You have done well.

You ain't complaining, right? Titty's all around you. I'm 75. I got titty cake.

I got beautiful naked women around me. I got it made. That's what happens when you sacrifice for the revolution. It's the pursuit of happiness that you have.

Why is it that people are talking? Hang on. I just have to ask my back crew here. When a lot of people are talking,

they put the music on. Is that to make it sound like really crazy? So that no one can hear anything? Then it's a party.

Keep the music down. Then it's a party, I see. No, no, no. Okay, so what do you want to do?

You want to tell us a story? I'm just sitting here. Okay, you're going to just sit there. We know what we have not done.

And this is almost unforgivable. What's that? Spanking. Spanking.

I think before she had something she wanted to say about her new features. I want to see the movie. We do have a moment when we do that. We have a moment at the end of the show.

And we will do that. Sorry, I'm just worried about that. I'm enjoying all of this. The promo thing is we're all promoting ourselves all through the evening.

But we have a special time when we say, and go to my website here and get my, you know, my little DVD or whatever clip here. Anyway, my book.

Okay, well, I actually say get my book all through the show. But that's... Yeah, in fact, there you go. But, you know, it is the birthday of the Bonobo Way,

the fourth anniversary. And let me tell you, brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, the world, I hate to say this, I hate to, but needs the Bonobo Way more than ever.

I mean, you guys are shooting up a storm, not all of you, most of you not, thank goddess. But get it under control. Learn to be a good Bonobo Boy.

And ladies, learn the Bonobo Way of female empowerment. It is very, very empowering. It's empowering. It's like sisterhood.

It's like good sex. Don't put up with any bad sex. Don't put up with any bad anything. Okay?

But you got to have your sisters because the guys, you know, they got fangs. Well, among Bonobos, the guys have fangs. The women don't, the females.

I have a cake. True. And you have that upper body strap, baby. Anything else.

Now, human men don't have fangs, but they do have other things. And so, you know, they have nice things. Well, no, good things.

You have a nice thing. Actually, she has some things. You have a really nice thing there. And a lot of us ladies, we love that thing.

And even if you don't, let me just say, in a Bonobo world, the boys feel good. Male well-being is very, very important. Female empowerment, and of course, female well-being.

Women get first dibs on the food, on everything good. And nesting places, all that stuff. The females, I shouldn't say women. Bonobo girls.

But, yeah, you know, the boys have to be taken care of. And I think that that's very important. Or they go nuts. If we don't take care of our boys, look what they do.

Too much male bonding creates the military industrial complex. Okay? I know there's some women in it. But it's too much male bonding.

The Bonobos don't have a lot of male bonding. That's the funny thing. They have female bonding. Look how many females they have.

You're the only guy. The Bonobo boys, they like to hang around with chicks. And they like to earn the right and the privilege of hanging around with the chicks by being a nice Bonobo boy.

Because not all the Bonobo boys get that. And that's okay, too. They get to have sex, too. Because Bonobo boys have sex with each other.

And that's okay. Sure. It's one less thing we have to do. Exactly.

You know what? That is a very Bonobo way of thinking about it. It is. And it works.

And you know what? There should be no shame in that. There should be no shame. Amen.

And A-women. I don't think there is shame. Mostly A-women. I'm a sex therapist.

My femcom. There's a lot of shame. Okay, I meant there shouldn't be. No, there shouldn't be.

I meant there shouldn't be. We are here to try our best to, you know, kind of help you. I mean, if people want to channel your shame

into maybe a spanking or something, you know. What do you think, Captain Max? What do I think about shame? People want to live in shame.

Fuck them. Fuck them. I don't live in shame. On the other hand, you could come to the other side.

Get rid of your fucking shame. Exactly. You want to live in shame. We do a lot of that.

We get rid of a lot of shame. They'll call and go, I have this problem. You're okay. It's like Jesus, you're fine.

You're going to be okay. Now by the way, the Facebook camera now could be just focused on these late, you know, from Max over here.

The well-behaved side. I mean, it could be. Nobody can move. We're going to be the banana in your necklace.

Did you, I just want people to notice it. We're going to hold Rhiannon's things for a moment. So that maybe the Facebook camera could just look quickly. Just hold the microphone like this.

Anyway, I mean, we're allowed to show the cake boobs. Yeah, I think so. And I think you could show that. It's a cake.

Is the Facebook camera gone? Is it gone now? Or did it ever come? It's gone.

Tits are out again. What's up? Okay. Tits are out again.

So, okay. So I mean, if you being Prince Max, what kind of entertainment would you like? I'm doing fine.

I'm very stoned. So that's good. Congratulations. All right.

I see the world through. And I see the other person. Would you like to be spanked? I mean, no, no, no, no, no.

Would you like to give a spank? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm very strict. Blossom has escaped.

Right at that moment, which is really kind of, you know. What happened? Blossom. My whole theme went out.

She was checking on my microphone because it wasn't working. Oh, okay. Would you like to be spanked? Hey, my microphone was not working.

Blossom. Thank you. Here's a bag of blossoms for you. Watch my breasts.

They said, I heard Blossom when I left and I heard spank and I was like. She came back. I got to get back here. I got to get back here.

Here's a bag with blossoms all over it. And blossoms. She got me a mug. Look what she got.

Okay. It says meow, meow. You're getting all kinds of presents. So I think you have to get a spank.

Because it's your birthday. And you have a choice of how you will get your spanking. I have a choice. Yeah.

I have a choice. Yeah. You could get it over the knee of several of us. Okay.

Not in Max's cake, though, I think. Or maybe. What was it? What?

I mean. I almost want the cake to just be smushed into my head. Ooh. Kinky.

Boobs and butt. That's a thing. I like the cake off her ass. But that could be messed up.

On the rug? No, not. He just doesn't want cake on the rug. Don't mess up the cake.

Don't mess up the cake. Don't mess up the cake. Don't mess up the rug. That would be...

I mean, is it more important to mess the rug or the cake? I have a... Anyway. You can eat.

We have a top. You can eat this. I'm just going to eat some cake. Oh, now I'm getting...

Cake is on her chest. It's like 24 seven. Oh my God. I mean, who doesn't want a little piece of this?

No, I mean, I love big tits. Okay. Don't we all? I like big tits and I cannot lie.

Can I put that cake over there? Can you do that? There we go. Okay.

Where's the cake going? Put it over there. Put it over there. Yeah, put it there.

Because now you're on the floor. Because I was supposed to be getting spanked. Yeah, okay. So you want to eat it on the floor position.

Someone got distracted while I was supposed to get spanked. All right. So you could be in the on the floor position. And you could get spanked by the magical neon birthday vlogger.

Or you could get spanked by hands. I got two hands. Or you could give up your right to make the decision by having it hauling too long. Let's see him.

Well, I want everyone to be involved because it is, you know, birthday spanking except cats and Max. You can't. You don't get to spank. You don't get to spank.

You have to accept that or you'll be denied your White House Press. Unless you're done getting spanked with me. You know, you don't want to be like Lacoste and Jim Coste today. Let's see him.

So, yeah, okay. I want to be spanked with him. Did you want to give this spank? No, no, no, no, no.

Okay, good. And then I just wanted to make sure there was agreement there. All right. So everyone else, does anyone not want to get spanked?

I'm leaving. I'm going to give everyone a little flogger. And they can just. You're going to give everyone a little flogger.

I'm going to give everyone a little flog. Lucky me. Okay, I'll be right back. Okay, you be right back.

See, he doesn't even want to be present for this, this bonobo girl. See, this is a bonobo girl hoka-hoka scene of solidarity. This is my spank. Hoka-hoka solid.

Well, you know, I mean, they do a specific thing with hoka-hoka, but I think. I remember. I like that.

I like that long skinny one. That one's like Madonna. I like that one. Okay, just pass out the implements.

It's my birthday. I choose. Okay, but you talk on a microphone. It's my birthday.

I choose where they go. Okay. Or I give you extra swabs. Okay.

Okay. Not just birthday swabs. Special swabs. Special bad girl swabs.

Anybody a twerker here? You twerk. Do you twerk? No, I just exotic dance.

No, exotic dance. Doesn't their twerking involved in that thought? No. I actually work a pole.

Oh, you work a pole. Girls just twerk. I don't know how to dance. Bro.

We used to have a stripper pole. Wow. Oh, yeah. We have other things.

You had a pole here. We had it in our other place. You never even, well, we had one upstairs, actually. All right.

So we've got implements. And perhaps the cake should be moved back a little bit. And you have a cake in your lap. Okay.

Did we get good pictures of the cakes? Everybody? Okay. So maybe we'll take the penis back there, you know,

because you guys want to eat some dick, right? Okay. And we'll keep the tits here, I guess, or the other way around.

Yeah. Or you can just... Okay. Whose tit can I have?

Put them on the ground. I think I have to even you up here. Have some more titty cake. Yay.

Yeah, give me the cake. Give me the... Here we go. Oh, no.

Hey, I brought a present, too. When can I show my present? Okay. Okay.

Now's the time. Bring out your present. Hey, I brought this. If you guys...

Do you see this great piece? If you drink the whole thing, you'll have a threesome because it says menager trois. Menager trois.

So I'm hoping... I'm hoping that they'll drink the whole thing and then they'll have a threesome. Yay.

I generally find that whole bottles of wine are conducive to threesome. Who's having the threesome? It usually is.

The birthday people. The birthday people. Oh, the birthday people. Well, I mean...

Oh, whoa. That's... If somebody needs to volunteer, I'm here because it's the birthday.

Happy birthday. Happy birthday. If you need me, I'll be in the sideline. All right.

This was what I wanted. All right, so... You could use a book. Book Spanking.

Since you are the winner of most... What is it? Well-rounded kinkster. That is true.

There's this title. I proudly bear. It's on my resume. And...

I put it on my resume. You bear it for both spellings of the word. Thank you. I tried.

It was a little sepio-sexual joke there. Indeed. All right. So now, birthday girl,

we are aiming for a spanking here. Okay, I see you. Okay. You have the cake dick

in front of you for motivation. Are you supposed to eat the dick while we spank you? No. That would cause too much heat.

Come on. Okay. I'll lick the nipples. Okay.

I don't know if we want to put the... Do you want the gift in front of you? There. Hiding.

You could put it over to the side because it shows blossoms. But... Where should I put it? Oh, I kind of liked it.

Where should I put it? Cake dick. I actually liked it there. Okay.

But maybe... I don't know. You could have it there at least in the beginning. I think that's kind of fun.

Right? I'll let you know when we wanted to leave. I'll let you know. Okay.

This coffee is hurting my knees. All right. So now is the time for the birthday spanking. You have to do 13.

You have your microphone. Yes. And how many spanks do we give you? 13.

13. No, 1 each. That sounds very underage. Just 1 each.

What is this? Just 1 each. I don't know. I forgot.

20. 20. Boy, did she get rejuvenated? All right.

All right. 20. So there's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. So...

6 times 2 is 12. Right? 6 times... What is going on back...

3 is 18. Right? 18. Sorry, I can't do math.

That's why I became a stripper. And then there's going to be 2 more. So, okay. So fuck this shit.

Fuck 3. Fuck the mathematics. 3 each. And then we all do it at once.

At 11? Okay. Okay. At like a level.

At like a... Like a 4. Ladies. Like a 4, 5.

I think we're all ladies here, right? Okay. So come on over here. You're 2 over to the side and you're going to hit her kidneys.

Okay. So maybe you should even be back here. Maybe come on back here. And how about if you come over here?

You don't want to hit her face. Right? So come over here. And...

Oh, there's the dog. The dog can sit next to me. The dog can come over here too. He can come over here.

So then you have the dog and you over here. And then Sissy and She-God are over there. What did I just get myself into? Alright.

That's what he said. Okay. So what's your birthday? It's your birthday.

Now I think you're supposed to... It's your birthday. Woo. This is a really nice view from here.

Okay. So we're going to do... You seem to like things that are clockwise. Is that right?

Bright, beautiful, bodacious butt of blossom. Nifty alliteration. Blossom into yourself. So let's start with Mother Tink.

You get two... Wait. Three. Three spots.

The magic number. One is the lonely... I'll take two. I'll take two.

Two. Okay. I'll take three. I'll take three.

Three spots. Three spots. Right. You can always do...

Where's my mink glove? You mean you hid the mink glove? Wow. Well, you're lost.

Okay. Did you do your three? No. I get three.

Okay. You get three. You get four because you gave me a bottle of wine. Oh.

Okay. You get four. I feel like I'm in that Madonna video now where she's spanking her little Tawawa. Oh my...

One. Okay. Four. I mean, you can always name Geraldo.

Okay. Now is the boss lady. I have to be careful that I'm not accused of sexual harassment in some fashion. This is consensual.

We're not allowed to write that anymore. This is consensual. All right. So, but if I'm going to do it with Goddess Phoenix's fiber optic magic whip, you have

to move forward a little bit. Or maybe I'll just do it with the book. No, I would hit you too hard. No.

Okay. So go forward a little bit more. Okay. A little bit more.

And over to the side so we don't hit Sissy. Sissy, maybe you... I don't know. You look like you're...

I don't have it. Oops. Yeah. There's not a lot of room here.

Okay. Everyone's whips are starting to turn when I guess. I know I'm taking more than I'm allowed, but... Yes.

Beautiful blossom. Yes. Oh, no, no, no. Stay down.

We haven't finished. Okay. And now we have fabulous Riannan is going to spend you with the bonobo way because yay.

Stay still. You're making it too hard. Two. Three.

I know this book's staying. Yes. Yes. For a bonobo girl.

It's okay. And now... It was still consensual. She got Claire is...

I just want to say that you know I love you since the moment we met. And therefore I will spank you for your birthday. There you go. It's an honor.

That's a very nice prelude. Two. Three. All right.

That's the three. You only get four if you give a bottle of wine. Okay. So now it's Sissy.

Come on. One more time. One more time. Oh, but we all are going to get one at the end.

No. Yeah. That's right. That's I'm saving the one.

Okay. So now... Okay. Do you want to say something, Sissy?

Into the microphone, though. It's between your legs. I hope I hit you hard enough. You hope you hit her hard enough.

All right. I don't know if she likes pain that much. So don't worry about that. I'm getting excited just watching this.

Maybe you want to get sideways so that she doesn't strike your kidneys. Whoops. Okay. This is an interesting advice.

Okay. Okay. Whoa. Okay.

She's got some, some hands. Okay. So now wait. Whoa.

One more. Okay. So everybody gently, but firmly, everyone use your implements and all striking at the same time.

This is very magical. We're all just whisting you off, just spanking you off into a beautiful year and a beautiful rest of your long, long dazzling life. Blossom green.

You are one, two, three, spank. Blossoming. Yay. Now we want to see what your presents are.

Oh, here. Here's a blossom that will never die. It's a blast. This is how we believe fight like a girl, which means basically don't.

And what's in there? Something's in there. Vibrating one. Of course.

What good is a rubber ducky? If it doesn't vibrate. Valid. And there you go.

I think so. Oh, not quite. There's more at the bottom. More treasures.

Aqua. No. Mobile communion. It is good.

And then. To shoot that. Where the sun don't try. Yeah.

Oh, this good, got excited about the little totally work by the way really well. Blossom into sexuality get kinky. Have fun. This is beautiful.

Thank you so much. Wow. Thank you. What's going on?

Exciting. bag. How you doing there captain? I'm doing well. Sitting here just watching. Would you like to have the Wolf of Bonoboville sing a birthday song? Of course here. He's all dressed up too. He went to some big movie. In fact, he was in the movie. Yeah.

E.Core was in a movie tonight that aired on Melrose. E.Core is in a lot of movies. He's not just our beefcake baby. He's more than that. But we love E.Core. Oh there you are. You got your jacket off with the sexy tie. So let's see. So turn around. Let's look at this. So where's the microphone? Can someone

offer him up a microphone? And you know, feel free to take off any more clothing. Everybody say Bonoboville. Bonoboville. Shout out to Captain Max on his life day and the lovely Blossom in certain life day as well. Bless to see another year. We got this gig over here barking in silence. And it's the Bonobo way life day.

You know, we get live on Bonoboville every week. Have all this stuff here. Take responsibility for your Blossoms Blossoms. Sit down. Sit down, young lady, or you'll get a spanking. All right. He's got no shirt on. Here he goes. Nobody's on point. All right.

All right. Can I get the lovely ladies up in the building tonight to stand up with me? Yeah. Yeah. Come on. Come on. Come on. Give me some volume, man. Yeah. Come on. Yeah. Shout out to my boys from Detroit in the building.

Shout out to them in the building. Yeah. Howdy sexy girl. Yo. She got me watchin' life. They're stalkin' but in the smooth way. She got me stay down. Thick like jam. Ten-time down piece. Added up.

What up, though? I'm known by the way she move that thing. Shake that thing. Make it bang. The whole room shaped on my ass. Crank down. Baby, you got that pop. That's still the show.

Get low. Everybody on the floor. Dude, she back. Look how she shake that thing. Look how she make it bang. Look how she drive it low. Yeah, back up. She back. Look how she shake that thing.

Look how she move that thing. Look how she make it bang. Yeah, we will go pain. Everybody stop. Stop and look at me. Happy birthday, Blossom. How much time do we have, brothers and sisters, of my crew?

That's neat. How much time do we have? Anybody know? How much? Like 20 seconds? Three minutes?

Three minutes. I think three minutes. So now as I promised you, here's your time to give it up about your movies.

Get a microphone, grab it. We are winding up the show. Happy birthday, Max. Thank you, Doctor.

Happy birthday. This was an awesome night. You guys are lit. So I just wanted to promote my movie.

Sure. Four covers that right now, but I have a total of five. I have sisters love White Cock. You know, we love White Cock.

And I got sisters love it big. Interracial. I'm excited. Chris, we're all the same race.

We're all the human race. That's my little bitty right there. Oh, I have this with Cherry Deville. I have two scenes on here.

This is an awesome scene. I have two scenes on here. Follow me on Twitter at S-I-Z-I-S-T-B. Whoo.

All right. Well, thank you, Sizi. Thank you. And yes, She-God, where do we find you?

Okay, talk on the mic. You can find me on Twitter at She-God-Clair-S-H-E-G-O-D-C-L-A-I-R-E. And you can find all of the links to my content, which we both know you're going to binge on,

because you crave humiliation whether or not your wife knows it. Ooh. You like the human emoji. You got it down, girl.

Yeah. Okay. And so, Rhiannon, we find you everywhere. Everywhere.

Rhiannon Arons. And there is Sunshine, McWayne. Depends on what you want to find. Okay.

If you want to find my stand-up, I'm on YouTube, Sunshine McWayne. Should I do my stand-up now? Do we have time?

We have 10 minutes. Do we have 10 minutes? How much time do we have? 10 minutes.

10 minutes? Yes, 10 minutes. Oh, my God. She does it with such authority.

Okay. Hello. My name is Sunshine. Hi, Sunshine.

I used to be a stripper. God, that part always feels like confession. It is. So everybody's been to a strip club, right?

Actually, a lot of people here have been strippers. Has anybody been to a baby shower at a strip club? Well, I'm a pretty classy lady. There's a lot of stereotypes about strippers.

Everybody believes strippers are all stupid. So they're like, wait, you can't. You could have never been a stripper, but you're smart. And I'm like, hell, yeah, I'm smart.

I didn't spend five years in high school for nothing. And then everybody believes strippers are all horrors. So the first place I ever danced at, I danced there for four years. And three of those years, I would sell a bit, but no one would believe it

because strippers are all horrors, right? So the customers were always like, well, you have sex all the time. You have sex every day. You're probably having sex right now.

Yes, I'm having sex right now. Can you tell? But then like the other dancers, they wouldn't believe it either. They were always like, really?

So you haven't had sex at all in like three years. Like not even a little sex? No sex at all in three years. I'm like, well, I mean, not with another person.

But then, yeah, you know, so the last stereotype, everybody believes all strippers are like bi or lesbian. So this stereotype I'm actually okay with because it's gotten me laid a few times by women, you know?

So like, I mean, I think I'm just into boobs like northern, like the average guy, like big boobs, little boobs, even fake boobs. Disneyland's fake. It's still fun, isn't it?

But I don't understand the fascination with butts, though. Nothing good comes out of them. Yeah, I'm pretty new to LA. North Hollywood is interesting, you know, like,

well, you know, I was trying to audition at a few places there. And it's interesting, like, I think men don't understand the concept of prostitution. Like the guys kept trying to get me in their cars

and I was like, no, I'm good, I'm good. And they kept opening the doors and they kept trying to get me in the cars and I said, no, fuck off, fuck off, you know?

And it's like, if the girl says no, then I think that means she's not a prostitute. But men don't understand, you know? I don't think they understand.

Prostitutes actually don't make their money off of playing hard to get. Because they kept trying to get me in the car, you know? It's like, if the girl won't get in your car,

it doesn't mean follow her or keep bugging her more. It doesn't mean you're wearing her down. It means she isn't one, you know? This one car, he kept following and following me

and opening the door and he kept trying to get me in the car and I was like, fuck off, fucking leave me alone, fuck tarred. And finally, he kept following me and he rolled down the window and he said,

look, either you're going to get in the car or I'm going to cancel your lift. And so that was the one time I did get in the car for a money transaction.

That was a nice one. You know, it's such a classy place that the abbreviation is no ho. Right.

Okay, so the last stereotype I'll tell you guys about, everybody believes all strippers are rich, which that's not true, you know? I was so poor for a while,

I was looking for a sugar daddy, you know? So there's a few things about sugar daddies. They tend to be older. That doesn't mean they're shooting blanks.

Just so you know. But you know, people want to say things to them like, well, don't you think maybe you're robbing the cradle? Well, don't you think maybe I'm robbing the grave?

Give me a little credit. There you go. And then, you know, the last thing, you know, I'm giving you a warning, you know, like,

it's a fantasy, but they want to believe it's for real. So they'll always say, if I lost all my money, would you still love me? I'm very reassuring.

Babe, I will always love you. But. I'll miss you. But I will always love you.

There you go. Thank you. Thank you. Sunshine McWave, live from the Nobleville

on the Dr. Susan Block Show. Wow, that was like a real stand-up routine. Really? Oh, yeah.

That was great. My last one was great. Stand up and take a bow. She did it sitting down, actually.

Yeah, she did it sitting down. My sit-down routine. My stand-up routine. It was great.

Yeah. Good job. Thank you. Sunshine McWave.

Well, that was a long, like, promo section. I mean, this is supposed to be the promo section. No, no, that was good. No, that was good.

That was great. That was funny. On Facebook and Twitter, I'm Sunshine McWave.

Yeah, right. There you go. On Instagram, I'm Sunshine McWave. That's the last part of that.

Okay. Right. Okay, so now we have the dog and Mother Tank. Yes.

Fitski, the party pup. Yes. You could find him. Fitski, the party pup.

Oh, yeah. The dog talks. Yeah, he's talking. He's talking.

He has a lot to say. Okay. Fitski, the party pup. He's having a hard time breathing.

Both on Facebook and on Instagram. Because the fires released, you know, they also hit this nuclear accident site. I hate to say, but wear masks now.

It did. It's Santa Susanna. Go on with your promo. Sorry about that.

Just like the dog was choking. Just like the dog was choking. Just like the dog was choking. And my Facebook is actually under Viviana Giovanni.

Mother Tank and Viviana Giovanni. We love you. You're a Virgo birthday. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. My other Facebook has been notorious Mother Tank, actually. Okay.

I'm going to suggest. So now we only have two minutes. So Max, Captain Max. You should say something, birthday boy.

Hello, hello, hello, hello. Hello. So, what important thing do I have to say? Very important.

I have to say that it was all a lie. You only have a few minutes on earth. That's about it. That's true.

Yeah. It goes real quick. Getting a license takes a long time. After that, it's all over.

Okay. Okay. So pursue happiness, kindness and love. Come out over here.

I'm okay. Come on over here. Come on, birthday boy. Come on, birthday boy.

Come on. What the hell? Come on, Max. What the hell?

Come on. Come on. The reason they got the cake. Let's be the two guys over here.

Come on. It's unaccustomed as I am to making speeches. And now you have your back to the camera. Oh, that's good.

Okay. That's fine. I love you. Thank you for my birthday.

And, you know, she, you know, what do you do? I'm feeling you up. I'm a building inspector looking at my stomach. How are we doing?

Cabbage cake? I can't have any. I want to feel the bottom of the building, the basement. We have to be dignified, you know.

Anyway, I love you. I love you. And we love each other. And she is she.

You, you, it's your birthday. Yeah, I know. I know. Captain, boy there.

He steers the ship. He keeps Bonoboville going. Yes. He keeps me going.

He keeps it all going. He's the magic. He's the architect. He's the magician.

He's the artist. He's the publisher of so much, so much. So many things over the years. I mean, from the mimeograph of Peyton Place

in Montclair, New Jersey, to the L.A. Star, to Love Magazine, to Hate Magazine, to God Magazine, to the Brentwood Blah Blah, and Meetings with Remarkable People at Beverly Hills,

the magazine, to the Dr. Susan Block Speakeasy Journal. So that's what I've been doing the last 27 years of my wonderful life. Just hanging out with this chick.

All right. And that's such a chick. Hey, that's my wife. Yeah.

You get a wife like this, you know. I'm done. And once again, you know, I arranged it so we would never forget the anniversary of my book

to give it to you on your birthday. Happy Bonobo Way birthday. Thank you very much. Okay.

It's very touching. Yeah, you get another one. You get another one. I think this is a used copy.

Yeah. That's why all the pages are stuck together. That's a better. That's better.

No, it's a good book. It's good. Worth more. Exactly.

Make like bonobos, not baboons. Make love not war. Make love to someone you love tonight, even if that someone is you.

Happy birthday. Yeah. Fight for your rights. Fight for your lifestyle.

Take the Nazis and the Nationalists away from our White House. We need to talk with someone about something you can talk about with anyone else. You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airways.

But my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy over the phone. Anytime you need to talk,

whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination, my world-renowned telephone sex therapists

are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you, role play for you, fantasize with you.

No fantasy is too taboo and help you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages.

For more information, call us at 213-291-9497. That's 213-291-9497 anytime you need to talk. Dr. Susan Block showing. And it's blue.

We're celebrating. I still got the way. Blossom's birthday, Max's birthday, as well as the blue wave.

Woo! Here we are in the box. We're spanking sunshine. We're doing such a good job.

Self, like a sacrificial victim. Very strong. Someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else? You can talk with us.

I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves, but my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute

for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy over the phone. Anytime you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy

or a hot phone sex experience, or a combination, my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away.

Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you, role play for you, and fantasize with you. And no fantasy is too taboo.

And we help you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. If you've never called before,

don't be embarrassed. We all need help with sex at one time or another. Even world leaders do. Maybe especially world leaders do.

But I'm not going to tell you which ones. So, when you need to ask a question or play out a fantasy or just talk with someone about something

you can't talk about with anyone else, call us at 213-291-9497. Anytime you need to talk. Hi, I'm Dr. Susan Block,

and I've just written a new book called The Bonobo Way, inspired by my love for the make love, not war, great apes. You know, the ones who have a lot of sex

and a bonobo sutra of positions, including face to face. But it's not just how bonobos have sex. It's how they use sex

to prevent murder and war, really. They're the only great apes that have never been seen killing each other. They practice what I call peace through pleasure.

With the females gently dominating the very happy, very sexually satisfied males, bonobos are special, partly because they just are,

and partly because they're very, very close to us. Almost 99% genetically similar to us. When it comes to being human, even being humane,

bonobos can teach us so much. Which brings me to us, and more specifically to you. Is your inner bonobo longing to swing free?

Would you like to tap into the hot, natural sex energy within you? Bet you would. So you can better enjoy the pleasures in life

and cope with the pain. You know, the pain. And have more orgasmic, organic, sustainable sex. Who doesn't want that?

Greater lust, greater trust, and better anger management. And who couldn't use a little bit of that these days? So get the book, Learn the Bonobo Way.

You'll be glad you did. Then you'll want to join Bonoboville, a new global village for bonobo lovers and friends. And one last thing.

The real bonobos are highly endangered, so a portion of all book sales go to bonobo conservation groups working to save the wild bonobos from extinction.

Read the bonobo way and learn why this could be the most important eco-sexual movement of our times. And improve your love life.