From 13 colonies to global imperialists, the Speakeasy celebrates the 236th anniversary of our country (that’s 236 years of war, slavery, genocide of natives, cultural hegemony, racism and fast food chains). I take an all American cast of demanding doms, sexy subs and one eager-to-please slut-puppy on an erotic exploration expressing the paradoxes of freedom through restraint, liberty through (voluntary) slavery, independence through submission and release through pain, including some very wet fireworks: a very sexy, sparkling golden shower that would have given Paul Revere something to shout about.

SQUIRT CRAZY gushes forth beauty, comedy, wisdom, insanity and hot, real, squirting, sucking, screwing, screaming, passionate sex. Before the Geysers of Love erupt, Dr. Suzy kicks off the show with her first guest, gloriously nude and Barbie Doll-pretty Puerto Rican blonde bombshell, "Porn's New Jenna Jameson," CARMEN LUVANA of Adam & Eve, taking calls from the sexually needy, including Giselle who yearns to have a threesome with her husband and another woman, and Andy who wants to give his girlfriend more and better orgasms. In comes The G-Man to the rescue, Dr. AXEL BRAUN, Squirtmeister to the Squirting Stars, with his G-Team of Multi-Orgasmic Squirters and Squirting Facilitators, his able apprentices in the fine wet art of G-Spot Female Ejaculation, Dr. Phil and Brother Love, and the insatiable, sensational 19-year-old German Squirting Princess SHAYNA KNIGHT. Axel's G-Team then proceeds to soak Dr. Suzy's broadcast bed in torrents of female ejaculate (Shayna's) and a nice shot of male ejaculate (Dr. Phil) too. One wild screaming squirting session leads to another, with Shayna squirting with Axel, squirting with Dr. Phil, squirting in bondage, and seemingly squirting just to cool off everyone around her with a fresh spray of Nectar d'Aphrodite. It's a Fingerbang Gangbang! She proves it isn't pee because in between squirts, she gives Brother Love a nice long golden shower. Politics enters the picture as Shayna demonstrates her devotion to doing whatever it takes to preserve our civil liberties by sucking Dr. Suzy's Ayatollah Ashcroft dildo with enough passion to convert him to paganism. Then Debra, a voluptuous Speakeasy guest, pulls down her top, hauls off and kicks poor Brother Love in the nuts. Actually, Debra's not the nut (BL is--in a nice way). Actually she's reluctant at first, but he begs her to kick him (it's his fetish); and so she does, with the focused strength and gusto of a star soccer player. Ouch! He loves it. Meanwhile, Shayna keeps on squirting. In between sprinkles and gushes, we take an International Squirting Call--part Italian, part German and part in English--from the living legendary Lasse Braun, father of modern porn as well Axel's actual father and the guy who got everybody started on this G-Spot Female Ejaculation thing in the first place. Meanwhile, Shayna is still squirting, and now moaning with desire to be plowed in every orifice. The comic-erotic competition between Axel, Brother Love and Dr. Phil is intense. After all that squirting, peeing, kicking and going downtown, who will succeed in playing the knight to Ms. Knight and actually taking this lusty fraulein to bed? Taunts are thrown, insults exchanged, challenges issued. Bets are laid. That's right. Brother Love makes a $100 bet with Axel that Dr. Phil can't rise to the occasion to have sex with Shayna. Axel is happy to bet on his star pupil's ability to "get wood," especially against poor hapless Brother Love (who had just tried and valiantly failed. But hallelujah, praise the Lord & the Lady, Dr. Phil comes through, getting it up Viagra-free under the hot lights and the fierce taunts of his buddies. He then proceeds to make hard, hot, passionate, lip-locking, deep pussy-plowing, oral, vaginal and crazy anal love to voracious Shayna, winning $100 for his G-Man mentor, and showing Dr. Suzy's audience that guys who can make girls squirt get to squirt too.

“If God had intended us not to masturbate, He–or perhaps She–would have made our arms shorter.” So sayeth the late great George Carlin and, as a former Sunday school teacher turned Saturday night sex talk show host, it makes ecclesiastical sense to me. So smack in the middle of the merry Masturbation Month of May, rubbing a luminous Screaming O over and under my Yale panties, I invite a stellar cast of professors, porn stars, teachers, preachers, erotica artists and wild wanking nymphs to teach, testify, explore, analyze and very explicitly demonstrate the art and science of self-love. Masturbation is, of course, the ultimate self-help activity, in that if you can help yourself to the greatest sexual pleasure, you really don’t need to kow-tow to the demands of an unreasonable husband, or wife, or religion, or government. No wonder self-love is still considered so taboo. Well, this show just sits right down on the face of that taboo and galvanizes those perfectly sized arms of ours.

High on the horniness of HOPE that exploded with the Inaugural Balls of America’s first African-American President, Dr. Susan Block presents Eros Day X: The “Orgy for Obama” Inaugural Ball. Black and white, beige and pink, professors and porn stars, singers and swingers, masters and slaves, celebrities and the couples-next-door all come together within the warm velvet walls of Dr. Suzy’s world-famous Speakeasy at the climax of a week of big balls in Washington and around the world. We eat, drink, dance, play, suck, fuck, flirt and squirt, celebrating the long-hoped for CHANGE in American politics, as well as honoring Eros, the primeval god of love, lust and life itself, and the holiday of Eros Day — now in it’s 10th year – when the planetoid 433-EROS spins closest to Earth.

Praise be to the Power & Glory of EROS! What an ecstatic, orgiastic celebration of love, lust and Blue Values! What an EROS DAY! What a night! The Bush Gang may have inaugurated the Spirit of Thanatos onto America's throne on their Inauguration Day, but Dr. Susan Block inaugurates the Spirit of Eros into our hearts, minds and gonads on EROS DAY. If you were here, you will never forget it. If you weren't here, you just have to look at the pictures! If you were here, you know it was more exciting than any party, more erotic than any porn shoot, more beautiful than any art opening, more sensational than any fetish ball, more stimulating than any swing party, more engaging than any theater piece, more thrilling than any amusement park, more inspirational than any revival, more educational than any seminar, more sensuous than any soirée, more awesome freaky fun than any event you'd ever been to before! If you weren't here, well, you'll just have to look at the pictures. Fortunately, we had several fine photographers all capturing different aspects of the EROS DAY magic for you. Watch Dr. Suzy's EROS DAY BALL and you see it all, starting with the naked, wingéd EROS Himself (super studly but goddess-conscious Big D) and VENUS (lovely tantric squirting star Leila Swan) sharing Olympian Sex, complete with sparkling showers of Venusian Holy Water (Venus' own female ejaculate!) baptizing the Faithful. See the exquisitely graceful, elegantly nude Nymphs of Zorbacchus (including Zorthian Muses Jennifer Patton, Lisa Ann Davis & Sarah) all dancing around the spectacular erotic art of the late, great Col. Jirayr H. Zorthian as a hornéd satyr plays the flute, looking like one of the artist's sumptuous paintings come to life right there in the Gallery. Then there's the Counter-Inaugural side of the BALL, from Dr. Suzy and Mistress Sarah ferociously paddling, whipping and generally torturing various human effigies of GW Bush, to Orgasmical singing "Funk You, Mr. President" to Dubya & Condoleeza, to a joyous, rollicking Franco-American Orgy in Dr. Suzy's Show Bed. Additional Highlights include Mistress Genevieve, her big boobs bouncing out of her latex minidress, tying up a naked, sun-kissed Hollie Wood in BLUE bondage rope as the wild, whacky, candy-colored Porn Klown Posse invades the BALL, Mistress Sarah and Slave Brian demonstrating the erotic versatility and fine craftsmanship of their Sick Kitty Bondage Equipment, Dr. Suzy giving Kim her Eros Day B-Day Spanking in rhythm to the Steve Paige Samba Drummers spanking their bongos, naked laughing ladies riding at top-speed through the masked revelers in a wagon pulled by Mistress Cyan's exceedingly well-trained, naked Pony Boy, M the Hula Girl wowing the nymphs, satyrs and bonobos with her sexy swivels and spins, Sissy the Maid drinking every drop of Ms. Genevieve's & Hollie's golden shower, everybody taking sniffs and sips from a champagne flute filled with VENUS' crystal-clear Female Ejaculate, Dr. Suzy squirting for VENUS, then receiving a glittering Magic Wand DP from VENUS and EROS (now that's what you call a Heavenly Ménage), Ms. Genevieve shoving an Osama dildo up the Planet Uranus of a very happy masochist in a Bush mask (who was also, appropriately, wearing a Roman toga), the demure but insatiable Delia making passionate love to two gorgeous hunks at once (EROS Himself and her sexy French boyfriend Pierre), DJ Doktor Ali Boombay's music getting everybody dancing, romancing and, of course, balling at the BALL. The Aphrodisiac Buffet fuels the fires with rare bottles of exotic Agavero Tequila Liqueur, Damiana Strawberries, Chinese herbal aphrodisiacs, caviar, sea urchins, choice meats, pineapple and celery (to sweeten the semen!), succulent fresh oysters (Venus' favorite), BLUE whipped cream and chocolate fondue (to lick off bodies and out of orifices), Nude Beer and Doc Johnson's Pocket Rockets (our favorite Weapon of Mass Corruption), as large and small Sexual Revolutions erupt like orgasms everywhere--in the Gallery, on all the Stages, in the Bar, at the Aphrodisiac Buffet, in the Piano Room, in the Rest Room and, of course, in the Womb Room, even on the street outside the Gallery! Other illustrious EROS DAY BALL guests include Lawrence GARTEL (the Father of Digital Art who taught Andy Warhol how to use a computer), Dabney Zorthian (beautiful beaming widow of Col Jirayr H. Zorthian), renowned sex therapist Dr. Diana Wiley, distinguished civil liberties attorney and Socialist Party candidate John Burton, famed sexologist Dr. Vern Bullough, "Ghostbusters" and Arnold Schwartzeneggar ("Twins") Producer/Artist Michael Gross, columnist Roberta Morgan, Jeff & Kris Booth of Erotic University, Eros Day exhibiting artists Sayko, Lanning Gold, Eban Lehrer, Alex Saglimbeni, Ellis Martin and Tom Zimmerman, and sultry sex educator LaSara Firefox, plus many famous stars and politicians who prefer to remain anonymous (take a good look at some of the people wearing masks), everyone inhaling the Spirit of Eros, the Breath of Life, together. If you were here, you probably experienced even more extraordinary moments in the sexy little sideshows of Dr. Suzy's EROS DAY BALL . If you weren't, you just have to look at the pictures... So take a look!

Welcome to Blonde Island, our late-summer variation on Pleasure Island, featuring Dr. Suzy's bedful of platinum, honey-haired beauties, one beached blonde more beautiful, buxom and bodacious than the next. But why compare? Each is a golden revelation of long-legged, large-busted, tanned, toned, stark naked blondeness, athletic sexuality and lusty unbridled political opinion, all of them kissing, caressing and dancing the hoka-hoka* with Dr. Suzy and each other. First Blonde on the Bed is Bethany Sweet, and she is indeed the sugar in Seattle's famous coffee, a religious Christian ballet dancer turned proud and perky Porn Star. Next up is Vicky Vett, the Viking Vixen, "Born for Porn," a Norwegian horny housewife turned swinger turned...Porn Star! A bevy of beauties from other fields of erotica follow: kinky Russian fetish model Victoria Lane (another leggy blonde), pretty little model Ania Vargas, thoughtful TS Herotica 4 author Christine Beatty, and the dramatic return of smoking hot Spanish Blonde Orgasmical--with her band!--singing "Funk Me Like An Animal," and driving all the other blondes into funky, animalistic, orgasmical, cunny-licking, nipple-sucking, snake-handling heat! One of the great revelations of the night was not a blonde but a brunette with big brown-eyes and a slim, lithe, perfectly-muscled, all-natural body that looked as if it had been carved by Rodin. Indeed, Lisa Ann Davis is an artist's model, as well as one of the wondrous, ethereal nymphs that danced naked around Zorbacchus, aka. the late, legendary Altadena Artist/Rancher Jirayr Zorthian (Yale '36) at several of his bacchannalian primaveras. Lisa wowed the crowd, especially Dr. Suzy's paparazzi, as her supple naked form struck one graceful, eloquent pose after another, radiating harmony and emotion, like a living sculpture, something of the Old Masters unearthed by erotic archeologists on Blonde Island. Then suddenly, the winds changed, and a very lucky shipwrecked sailor found his way from the Sea of Pain we call the Regular World to that Island of Pleasure at Dr. Suzy's Speakeasy that we christened Blonde Island for this sultry late-summer night: Seasoned CBS Newsman and War Correspondent Rob Milford, just back from reporting on Bush's War in Iraq, came onto Dr. Suzy's bed to talk about Sex on the Front (and also from behind). But when his Hawaiin-shirted body was cast ashore upon this naked paradise of nymphs and blondes, he lost his train of thought (wouldn't you?) . Welcome to Pleasure Island, Rob... Forget CBS, you're on RadioSuzy1TV now... You were embedded with 1000 smelly marines in the very unfriendly desert. Now get in bed with a harem of gorgeous, mostly naked blondes and one very supple brunette nymph. It's Midnight at the Oasis...or some kind of twisted American variant on Islamist Martyr's Heaven where the dead hero is serviced by numerous gorgeous "houris" in a garden of sensuous delights. Ah, if only we could send all our beloved troops (you too, Charlie!) to Blonde Island instead of extending their tours of duty in Hell, to satisfy George II's murderous vision of redemption. Speaking of Skull & Boners, also in attendence are several Yale alumni (whose names shall not be mentioned to protect their legacies) with their dates, in addition to our hardworking Y Annex interns, as well as the Artist Mario Saucedo and a bunch of other lucky happy hustlers, friends and lovers drinking, smoking, dancing, discussing politics, religion, booze, bonobos and ethical hedonism and saying "wow." Even with all the blondes, nymphs, broadcasters and philosophers, we manage to take a few good calls, including one from Jen, a strong, middle-aged sexual woman who just wants a nice guy to throw her on the bed and funk her like an animal. All the blondes, even the nymph and some of the Yalies emphathize. And the CBS War Correspondent just shrugs and smiles a shipwrecked, shit-eating grin at his crazy good fortune to have survived the Horror of Iraq and made it to the Blonde Island Block Party. We Support Our Troops! We Support Bringing Them On HOME to Pleasure Island...

Fetishe Outré LaVeauX! features sexy Shayla LaVeaux, sultry Lady Olivia Outré & fabulous Robyn Migel, producer/director of "The A-Z of Fetish" (featuring Dr. Suzy, Shayla & Olivia!). Everybody piles into Dr. Suzy's Broadcast Bed, and explores various fetishes, from areolas to anal sex, spanking to wanking, nudity to crudity, with various callers as well as each other. Un peu de français (Fetishe Outré LaVeaux--ooh la la!)...Lots of hot flaggelation, cropping, Nipple-Huggers, ice games, naked fun, dildo play, happy orgasms and more, winding up with Kim's topless twirl and Dr. Suzy dancing on the bar! Plus: The Love Doctor defines "Dubyaism" as the dark, deadly fetish for nonconsensual torture, humiliation and snuff porn with a military-religious-frat-boy motif; not good clean sexy fetish fun. But this show sure is!