Purim Rising!

Featuring:Amor Hilton, Brianna Brooks, Dark Phoenix, Daryl Wright, Haley Sweet, Heidi Hollywood, Jesse Flores, Lya Pink, Max Hardcore, Tee Reel, Victoria Veil

It’s another amazing, erotic, educational Porn ‘n’ Purim Bacchanal in the Womb Room as the Commedia Erotica cast of porn stars, comedians, transwomen and Hollywood socialites reenact the sexiest story in the Bible (or the second sexiest, if you prefer “Song Of Songs”): the Book of Esther, aka Megillat Esther, which tells the tale of the ancient Persian Jewish beauty contest winner who saves her people from genocide by using her Weapons of Mass Seduction. The storyline might be familiar, especially if you got Bar Mitzvah’ed, but believe me, this is not your Bubbe’s Purim.

Keep in mind that, in true Commedia Dell’Arte tradition, this reenactment is totally improvised—no rehearsal, no script, no net but the Internet—with parts, costumes and sex acts determined just moments before our live-on-the-air performance! Fortunately for those players and viewers who don’t know a hamantaschen from a hard-on, you also get a little guided narration from your Irreverend Rebbetzen here who, once upon a time, was a Sunday school teacher. In a way, I still teach Sunday school, except now I do it on Saturday nights and half my class is naked. This Saturday turns out to be quite a lesson in human behavior—both during and after the Purimschpiel (Purim play).

I’ll get to “after” later; first let’s talk about the show—which happens to be one of our finest Purimschpiels ever (see Purim 2008 and 2011 for oldies but goodies)—exciting, provocative, ridiculous and erotic. Of course, with a cast of some of the world’s hottest porn stars, even reading Facebook’s Rules and Regulations would be erotic. But much of our Purimschpiel’s eroticism lies in the original story. This makes it stand out against most of the Hebrew Bible, aka the Old Testament, which is only “pro-sex” when it comes to procreation. Just about every other kind of sexual relation is presented as “unclean” or an “abomination,” often punishable by death or even fire and brimstone for the entire community. But the Purim story is a very sex-positive one: a feminist tale in a patriarchal time, beginning with the feast of a king and the disobedience of a queen and ending with the obedience of a king and the feast of a queen.

I won’t go into all the details (though if you’re a Purimschpiel fetishist, you can read my full erotic exotic interpretation of the Story of Esther here)….This ain’t Sunday School, though you may call it Sex Education Bible style…Sunday School Purimschpiels don’t feature golden dildo scepters! Basically, there’s this Persian King named Ahasuerus (sometimes said to be a version of the ancient Persian King Xerxes), who ruled over 127 provinces from India to Ethiopia, and, once upon a time, he throws a six-month drinking, eating, gambling, and sex festival (and you thought Charlie Sheen was decadent). During the climactic week-long feast, King Ahasuerus, “merry with wine,” orders his wife, Queen Vashti, to display her beauty to him, his court, and his people, in an ancient version of striptease (i.e., naked). In a pre-feminist act of feminism or just an ancient outburst of bitchiness, Vashti refuses to strip down for her royal hubby and his drinking buddies. For this, she is banished or beheaded (depending on the translation), though our Bonobo Purimschpiel just flogs her royal naked body on the cross. In an ancient Persian version of “Who Wants to Marry a King?”, the king calls for a new queen, to be chosen from all the kingdom’s virgins (you can imagine the comic erotic possibilities of casting porn stars as virgins—thank you Ideal Image Management!). The king chooses Esther, a Jewish girl entered into the contest (aka pimped) by her cousin, the hero of the story whom I lovingly call “Pimpin’ Cousin Mordecai.”

Like I said, I’m not going to tell you the whole story (find those juicy details here), but needless to say, Esther arouses the king, and when she kisses the “tip of his scepter,” and wow, she gets him big and hard as an iron sword. But all is not rosy in Shushan (the magical city where Purim takes place), as the king’s evil right hand man, Haman, like a lot of ambitious politicians throughout history, has a thing against Jews who won’t bow down to him (like Mordecai), and he devises an extermination plan that would—and did—make Hitler smile. After a bunch of twists and turns—all illustrated with X-rated panache in our Purim play–Queen Esther fetes, fellates, sucks and seduces the king into saving her people from genocide. She’s quite a powerful sexual woman, Queen Esther, whether or not she really existed—right up there with Cleopatra and Scheherazade—and that is why we celebrate her and her Weapons of Mass Seduction here in Bonoboville. By the end of our Purimschpiel, the Jews have been saved, the king has been schtupped, and everyone has been treated to a healthy spectacle of Biblical sex… both on stage, and continuing into the afterparty. Whew, whatta lotta L’Chaim!

BUT…sad to say, there is a disturbingly dark side to Purim’s *happy ending,* as there is to our after-party. In terms of the story: Though the king revokes the genocide edict, he cannot call off the hordes of swordsmen hell-bent on killing Jews; he gives his royal permission for gangs of Jewish swordsmen to kill thousands of their enemies in “self-defense,” including Haman’s 10 sons, some of whom are too young to even lift a sword. According to the Bible, this awful orgy of bloody revenge is all part of the “gladness, feasting and holiday-making.” For a peacenik like me, who so appreciates Esther’s ability to seduce her king away from killing, this part makes me want to toss my hamantaschen. Is this what the rabbis mean when they tell us that, on this night, we should drink so much we can’t tell the good guys from the bad? Must the oppressed become the oppressor? Must the cycle of violence go on?

Not that I’m surprised. The Biblical and real histories of Judaism, like its offspring: Christianity and Islam, are densely littered with the dead victims of God-loving, righteous, racist mass murder. Check it out; it’s all right there in your Bible, Koran, Bhagavad Gita and other so-called holy books.

Which brings me to the dark side of Purim 2013 in Bonoboville, and it pains me like a heart attack to write about this, but I feel I should bloggamize the bad along with the good that goes on here, as I have always done. Anyway, on Purim, we’re “commanded” to drink so much wine that we can’t tell the difference between the good (Mordecai) and the bad (Haman). That sounds like a lot of wholesome inebriated fun, and usually it is, but of course, it can be dangerous. So, after a terrific Purimschpiel, several hours of erotic peace through pleasure, and too-enthusiastic an attempt to honor the Purim drinking tradition, one of our staff members “lost it” and became crazy-violent. It was a tremendous shock to the Bonoboville system, as violence like this has never happened here before in over 20 years of shows and wild bacchanals. Then it escalated, other staff members got involved and it got even worse. I certainly don’t want to go into detail here or name names. Not at this time. I do want to apologize to all of our guests who were here and let you know that, though we are devastated by this barbaric outburst, we are trying our best to deal wisely with the situation and ensure that nothing like this happens here again. It’s not easy, to say the least. I’m just grateful that no one was seriously injured–or worse. Fortunately, none of the people involved had guns (another reminder of how important gun control is in these psycho time)! But incidents like this painfully remind me of why I’m dedicated to the cause of peace through pleasure. It’s something I’m constantly studying, trying to understand in relation to bonobos and humans. Having such senseless violence explode in your midst—seemingly out of nowhere (though it’s never just “out of nowhere”) like a terrorist attack on all you hold dear—is a terrible trial by fire. Fortunately, some heroic members of our staff helped diffuse the situation in the most bonobo manner possible under the circumstances, so it didn’t get even worse. Thank you, Brothers and Sisters, we appreciate your efforts, we love you, and though we have been wounded, our wounds will heal, and we will get through this better than ever, as we have gotten through all of our fiery trials.

We’re also proud that this show, as well as all of our February shows, is part of Eve Ensler’s One Billion Rising movement to stop violence (including rape) against women and everyone else. We each have to try to stop the chain of violence in the world and in our own backyard, as we learned in this after-party. But I don’t want to let this stupid after-party incident take away from our marvelous Purimschpiel performers. So without further ado, here they are….

Please wait...

Full transcript of Purim Rising! on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

You're listening to Radio Susie 1 on the World Wide Web and now here she is, Dr. Susan Block. Brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, artists and exhibitionists, Boyers and connoisseurs, am I on? Okay, hey!

Okay, brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, artists and exhibitionists, boyers and connoisseurs, Christians and Jews, Muslims and Hindus, atheists who love booze, yeah! All you children of sex, and we are all children of sex. We may or may not be children of God, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Brahma, Mordecai.

But until we start cloning ourselves, we know we are all children of sex. We're the capital X, can I hear an amen? Can I hear an A? Woman.

Let's have that A woman again. This is the homantash and symbol of the woman. Can I hear an A woman? Yeah, I want to welcome you to our erotic poem, Bacchanal, brothers and sisters. Hugsameak, Purim, happy Purim.

And I am the irreverent Dr. Susan Block, your servant and your mistress of the airwaves. And we are broadcasting live from the womb room, the speakeasy cathedral in the soul of downtown LA where we have come once again, brothers and sisters, and we will come again and again and again, brothers and sisters.

Come when come all or just come. And we are celebrating the festival of Esther, Purim. It means lots, gambling, yes. And we are here to celebrate Esther and her weapons of mass seduction.

This is the sexiest book in the Bible, I think. Well, next to the song is Songs. It's right between Nehemiah and Job, actually. The book of Esther. Check it.

It's called The McGillah. It's a lot of McGillah. And it's there. It's filled with exhibitionism and seduction and ancient transsexualism and orgies and food and sex and what I think sounds like oral sex.

Anyway, it's right there in the Bible. We often think of the Bible as being, you know, so anti-sex. And for the most part it is. I mean, aside from procreation purposes, you know, sex is all about continuing the tribe.

And then, of course, you get into the Christian version where sex is good for nothing, except if you're going to burn well better to marry than to burn. Anyway, the book of Esther is all about sex in the use of politics and peace. That's why I call it weapons of mass seduction, brothers and sisters.

That's right. And it's a very feminist story in a way, in a very patriarchal time. This story is about a woman, a teenage beauty contest winner who uses her powers of mass seduction to thwart a genocide. And it begins with the Feast of a King and the Disobedience of a Queen.

And it ends with the Obedience of a King and the Feast of a Queen. So, yeah, go Esther. And tonight we are also part of the One Billion Rising campaign. Eve Ensler, let's end rape and violence against women and other people.

Okay? Yeah, go Eve. And I am here in the Garden of Eden, brothers and sisters, with my familiar named Eve. And my Magilla.

And my Chumantaschen. All right? And my King. Can we hear it for T-Rio, brothers and sisters?

Yes, this is a story that starts with the King. Let's see. Let's see. Teja, my producer.

Oh, you're getting whacked? No, no, none. You get whacked as a reward. Although she does deserve a reward for designing this set, brothers and sisters.

Yeah. This is the Teja Souter set. Can we get this microphone off of here for the King? Oh, yeah.

And yes, you can have a cookie. These are Chumantaschen. We're going to find out what these mean, but I think they look like pussies. They're, you know, triangular.

They do. Are they yummy? They are tasty. They are good, too.

Except they're very powdery. We need to moisturize them. No, you need to stick them in pussies so that they're moist. It's mine, right?

Mm, terrible. You can try it. Actually, they're great. And they're from Canners.

Oh, I love Canners. How Jewish can you get? I know, right? All right, and that is the voice of Amor Hilton, by the way.

Oh, yeah, hello. Social item Amor Hilton is here. I'm back again. And yes, the drink of the night is biblical wine.

Oh. And so I am here with the King. And speaking of wine, the King likes to drink it. I mean, I don't know if you really like to drink wine.

I actually have my full right now, but it's more and more. Okay, well, you just need to have a cup. No, of course. The King always needs to have a cup.

Can we have a King's cup over here? Here we go. So here's Tea Real. Thank you.

Here with his company. We're already spilling the wine. Spilling the wine. Quite a lot of drinking already.

Yeah. That means the night will be divine. This night, this is a festival. This is a religious festival.

It's Jewish, although the Christians also have the Book of Esther in the Christian Bible. Right. And it's a very important book. But it is all about drinking.

And in fact, the Jewish commandment is you are supposed to drink so much that you don't know the difference between the good guys and the bad. Yes. Really? As a Jew, I don't even know that.

Well, you know, I mean, these days with Wall Street, I don't know. We don't need this, really. You don't need to drink to not know the difference between the good guys and the bad. But that is what you're supposed to do.

It's the one holiday that they tell you you have to get drunk. And every important scene in this story has some serious drinking in it. So we start with the king. The king is in his court.

This is Tea Real. He's kingly, right? He looks good. Can we have some applause for the king, please?

Thank you very much. He's got his crown on, right? This is a poem spiel, so everybody looks like they're in a kiddie play in a way. Except notice the difference between this and a kiddie play.

Right. There's a few key differences and there will be more differences. First of all, the candles. You can't have this in Hebrew school, I don't think.

Really? This is not your Sunday school candle. You just melt it like that. That's not what the Vatican allows, although maybe that's why the pope just quit.

Anyway, also you'll notice the king's scepter. The king's scepter is not what you have in Sunday school. But you know, these scepters, I mean, what the hell are they for? They're not a weapon.

I think they're a dick, right? A phallic symbol, right? A major phallic symbol. I think it could be as a weapon.

Well, anything. Including a dick. Definitely. That's why we're part of One Billion Rising.

Right. Okay. So the king is, the name of the king is Achashveros. Achashveros.

Achashveros. Achashveros. And you know, there's a lot of history behind this. Achashveros.

Achashveros. Acha, like, Jorge Jose. Achaveros. Achashveros.

Achashveros. Have I sang it right? You know, you have to drink a little more. Yeah, then you can say it correctly.

Achashveros. Anyways, the king is Achashveros, who might be some version of King Xerxes. You know who he is, right? Xerxes.

An ancient Persian king who ruled 127 provinces from India to Ethiopia. And that's a lot of provinces. A lot of prime real estate in ancient times. A lot of oil.

Yeah. Yeah. And so he had a big celebration, a big festival that lasted actually six months. And we think Charlie Sheen is decadent.

Anyway, very, very decadent. He's got this big festival going on. Here, you have to hold. Do you have your wine?

Oh, yeah, you do. Okay, your flamenco glass. No one would be surprised. And so he's drinking with his buddy here.

This is right hand man. And this, brothers and sisters, is Heyman. Heyman. Okay.

Anybody know who Heyman is? Okay. Okay. Now, okay.

Now some people understand. I hear some groggers. I think handsome man is more suitable for this one. Well, Heyman.

You know, he's a man. Anyway, Heyman is the villain in the story. You will find out how in just a few minutes. But that's why he's wearing the Nazi outfit.

You could stand up. And he's a gambler. The name Porum is Lots. It has to do with gambling.

And Heyman is the gambler. And he's got a gallows. And he's wearing this tricorner hat. Just like the Chumantaschen.

There's that again. Right? Okay. And he is the villain.

So that when we hear his name, if we are traditionalist, which some of us are, we take the noise maker, the grogger. Do you have one?

Yeah. One of these things? Okay. Okay.

When we hear the name Heyman. Here we go. And you can whistle and hoot and holler. And the part of Heyman is being played by Dark Phoenix.

Anyway, they are partying royally, so to speak. This is the big week of partying. Just after the six months. This is the climax of this big festival.

And the king has this great idea. What's that? Right? What happened to my Persian music?

Yeah. Persian music. I can just sing for you. Okay.

All right. So as a matter of fact, the voice you just heard is the voice of Amor Hilton. Oh. Yes.

Hello again. I'm so happy to be back with you guys. Amor is going to play the part of the queen. The first queen.

That is why she's wearing a cardboard crown. And so Amor is going to assume her queenly position in the harem. This, by the way, brothers and sisters, of course, is the harem. Nice.

So the harem is already being populated by some beautiful harem girls. Oops. And my snake is getting fresh with me. I thought that was my snake.

Yeah. So Amor is queen Vashti. And you are going to assume your place in the harem with the other beautiful harem girls. Yes, ma'am.

So here she comes. And I am going to try to get the snake out from between my legs. Yes. Because, yes, there is a bit of transexualism in the play, but it doesn't come yet.

All right. So here comes Amor as queen Vashti being accompanied by Prince Max into the harem. Here she goes. Here she goes.

Okay. So sit in the middle of the harem right there. Yes. With your harem girls.

That's right. And you just enjoy yourself in the harem right now. And now the king, Mary with wine, calls for his wife, queen Vashti, to dance for him and his princes. So king, call for your wife.

My wife. My wife. I call for you right now to dance with me in my disciples. All right.

His disciples. Wow. Queen Vashti, the king has called for you. The king has called for me.

And dance. Now when the king calls for you to dance, that means dance naked. Dance naked. Amongst a group of drunken princes.

All guys. But I've never done anything like that before. I think that might be a little inappropriate for a more whole team. You know?

And queen Vashti and all that. So I think you're going to refuse. I'm pretty sure that I can do that. Yeah.

I can't do that, Susie. You should put the crown on though. Keeps falling off of me. It's going to get taken off of you in a minute, honey.

No, put it on. Way of damn crown. Yeah, that's right. All right.

And, you know, in those days, women, although Vashti came from a very royal family, she didn't really have much rights. So as soon as she says no, the king, who's highly influenced by his courtiers, whisper like you're, you know.

Yeah. Very good. Okay. So at this point, they say, you must banish her or execute her depending on the translation

because she really makes all the guys look bad because she's a disobedient wife. Yes. So yeah, she got to. Okay.

Can we hear that from the king? Can we have the king, the microphone? Where's the mic? Here we go.

Okay. What's going to happen? My wife has refused to dance for me. She's got to go.

She's got to go. Okay. So the guard who was played by Sergio, can we have a hand for Sergio? Sergio, my guard.

Sergio is playing the guard. He looks good. He's got to go. Now, forcibly, you have to resist.

Act like you're resisting, Amor. I know you like him, but act like, yeah. Don't hurt her. All right.

Now, bring her forward. Bring her here. Bring her to me. Bring her in front.

Bring her right here. Not up there yet. Not up there. Right in the middle.

Right in the middle. Bring her in front. Okay. Right in the middle.

All right. Now, she's standing before all the people. Right. She has been a naughty queen.

So now that she has refused to strip naked and dance for the king, she will be stripped naked and hung. Hung. You'll be...

Well, he said hanging. She's a witch. We actually don't hang anybody here at the speakeasy. We just whip them on the cross.

All right. So strip her naked. Quarters at her. All right.

Strip her naked. Okay. Hopefully it's not one of these bras that's difficult to figure out. Ha!

He's stripping her naked. Without no lawyers. They didn't have lawyers back then. Right.

You just had to go... They didn't have underwear either, I don't know. No underwear either. Okay.

Strip her. Strip her down. Ha! There we go.

Ha-ha! Put the snake away. Okay. More.

Strip her completely naked. Naked. She must be naked. Okay.

And off with the gold. Gold has to come off. No gold. No gold.

Off with her head. No gold. Gold. And of course, well, she could keep that crown since it...

My queen has refused, so take off all of my jewels. Oh, yes. She's taking... Yeah, this all belongs to the king.

Yes. Remember that. She gets to keep the crown. What a lucky king.

Yeah, it's only made of cardboard. Oh, girl. Strip her down. She's got to get her out of this angle.

Yeah, yeah. There we go. And look at her. Haram girls are just laughing at her.

How about that? We're laughing at her. We are so supportive. Yeah, you know...

Okay. That was a voice of how lucky photography, by the way. Bashe is a great hero of Jewish feminists, by the way, for saying no. You got to be able to say no if you can say yes.

You got to know how to say no. And she says no. Say no. But we're...

You know, I mean, she doesn't stand a chance. We're going to either banish her or execute her or put her up on the cross and whip her. Just hand-handle her. Yeah.

She refuses. Therefore, she must be flogged. Whipping's a little harsh for our queens. While we're getting her up there, we're back to the Haram.

And, you know, the king now has a problem. You can turn the drums down a little bit, because this is a real... Well, the problem is the king doesn't really have a queen. I have no queen.

No. He needs a queen. Right. So, he now has to have a greater Persian beauty contest.

Yes. In which all of the beauties of his kingdom come before him. And by beauties, of course, this being biblical, we mean virgins. Right.

Is there any other kind? I think you're sacrificing the wrong person. In this case. I want virgins.

I want freaks. Because... Basti ain't no virgin. Hey.

Basti looks good on that cross. I take that back. So, we're here. Mallory Boston is a virgin.

Yes. She's looking good on the cross. Amazing on the cross. And we should get a very soft flogger for this beautiful body here.

Very soft, beautiful flogger. I think she's a queen's crown on, though. Yes. We know she's the queen.

How about the little tiara? Yeah. The light up one. Where's that one?

This is starting to look like King Kong. Yeah. Okay. Here we go.

Where is that crown? Let's get that crown for her. Because the queen is crownless right now. So, we're looking for medicine and floggers.

And... Yeah. This is where the Johnny... And a crown.

A crown. We need the crown. Is there a crown over here? I saw it.

I remember that scene. All right. So, now the king needs a queen. So, we're going to have various...

Various harem girls. Various harem girls. Yes. How about a little harem girl?

Come forward and do a little striptease. Yes. Please, harem girl. You can do it together or separately.

Breathe, harem girl. Okay. I summons you to come up here and show me your womanliness. You like doing a lot of summoning.

Yeah. Ain't nobody listening. He's summoning everybody. Brianna.

I summons you to come here and show me what you've got. Okay. And give her the mic for a second. Show him what you've got.

Introduce yourself. Introduce yourself. I don't think that phrase was out back then. Okay.

Introduce yourself. I am Brianna Brooks. Brianna Brooks, brothers and sisters. Are you doing a little striptease?

Okay. And Brianna Brooks is here from where? From Ideal Image. Ideal Image.

Yes. That's one of the provinces of the king. Right. So, okay.

So, how about a little striptease from Brianna? Yeah. So, now you can put a little music. A little bit of the loop.

Yeah. Okay. And can I have some help? Out to them.

Pull this aside. Yes. Out to them. Oh, yeah.

This beautiful woman is going to show me what she deserves to be my new queen. She is showing you some stuff. Yes. I don't know if I would try out to see what happened to the last queen.

But, you know, that's what happens to a lot of people. Yes. Well, she didn't refuse. Whoa.

Look at her beauty. I don't care. Um... The king impressed.

Yes. Yeah. The king better be impressed. We will continue this.

The king likes fat asses. Therefore... How about a little booty? How about a little booty?

King better be impressed. Yes. I'm getting more impressed. Okay.

How do my subjects feel about her? Booty. Booty call. Aha.

Brianna Moore. Yes. More and more, Brianna. More and more and more.

Take it off. Yes. Take it all off. Says the king.

Yes. Says the king. Yeah. He's getting into his kindness.

I know. Yeah. I am actually. It's the royal blood.

It's boiling. She's very well groomed for biblical times. Yes. Yeah.

Nice. Very, very nice. All right. So...

Do we want another? Whoo! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes.

Heidi. Heidi's coming on. Back another. Stay up there.

You stay up there. You have more tryouts. I need one more tryouts. Okay.

We're three more tryouts. We'll see. There she is. Aha.

I have a chain purse. It never moves like that. So powdery. Oh.

And did you get clogged yet? You smart Alec queen. Aha. We need to get the queen clogged.

I need to flog her. I need to flog her. There we go. So dance while the queen is flogged.

I think it's very appropriate. Yeah. Not too hard. Not too hard.

Don't play with her. She's very expensive. Yeah. Not hard.

Not hard. Just very softly. Very softly. Very softly.

You know what? This is fucked up. There. There.

All right. We've got harem girls over here. Yes. Trying out to be queen.

It's like America's next top queen. Yes. Yes. Who wants to marry a king?

I think we need the last harem girls coming on. The bachelor. Yeah. The bachelor.

The king is a bachelor. He needs a queen. Yes. Well, he likes these queens.

These virgins. These virgins. So these ones are going to go into the harem, I think. Yes.

Virgins. Back to the harem. We should definitely talk about another contestant. There's another contestant here.

She has been brought here by her cousin. And since her cousin has brought her here to basically be the king's hoe. Who was that mother-in-law? I call him Pimpin cousin Mordecai.

Let's hear it for her. Thank you for the mother-in-law. Darrell, stand up here. Yeah, stand up.

Okay, you are Pimpin cousin Mordecai. I'm Pimpin my cousin. You're Pimpin your cousin. It's a good cause.

It's going to be a very good cause. There's nothing wrong with good, honest Pimpin. And Mordecai is a good, honest Pimp. I don't even got a Cadillac Bruin.

Well, they didn't, no one had one in those days. So it's okay. It's okay. You're going to get better.

And you are here with your cousin, the beautiful and sweet queen. Not the queen yet. Spoiler. Okay.

Esther. Who's real name is Hadassah. That's her Jewish name. Nice.

My cousin? Jewish. Right. You're the best.

You're black and Jewish. But because Jews were considered a little bit suspect back then, as of course they always are, he told her, hide your Jewishness.

This is one reason for the... If I told her to hide my Jewishness. Mav's great. Ain't I got to give it away?

Well, you are. But she's just dressed like your typical belly dancer. Okay, cool. Right.

So, okay, so Esther is... That's her name now. And Esther actually means disguise. So Esther is going to stand up.

And Mordecai, you are going to bring Esther on to stage. Do I got a slapper warming up? No, no, no. You're a good Pimp.

You're a good Pimp. You're a nice Pimp. It's as if you subscribe to the Eve Ends the School of Pimping. You are definitely a good Pimp.

And I need some help. Where is my producer? Teja. Teja.

Teja. Okay. So now, you guys get into the harrow. Hide.

And... Wait, back to the harem. Back to the harem. Okay, let me...

All right. Okay, I slapped something. That's good. You know, you're taking this whole pimping thing to heart.

Okay, pimping cousin Mordecai. Come here. Okay, okay. Are you feeling your tallest?

And you're, you know... Oh, I love this. Yeah. Hey, King.

I got something for you, Playboy. Look here. I know you got them... Get a girl.

Oh, excuse me. Hey, King. I know you do got them, but check it out, Playboy. I got some food.

And she's on sale. So... Yeah, you know, it's essentially like that. Right, right.

Okay. So, essentially... Now, Esther's a little more modest, or we could say more of a tease. So, she doesn't strip right away, but she just kind of dances around.

Okay, Esther dances around. Yeah. And the King finds favor, or Esther finds favor with the King. It's only two candles, Playboy.

You can't beat that. And so, she goes into the harem, and she goes in with all the girls. All the girls into the harem, girls. Into the harem.

Back into the harem. You got a possibility. Okay, you guys just get into the harem. Right?

You can have a home intonation. And... No. All right, the King's getting back at the Queen now.

Because he spoiled his little exhibitionist voyeur party. Oh, yeah. Can you help me with everything that's in the middle of the floor? And so now...

There you go. These ladies are all going into the harem, and they are going to be beautified and taught. The fine arts... It's one thing that makes everyone identify.

See what you did? All right. There you go. All right, your part is coming up now.

Is it? Victoria Vile. Vail. Vail, yeah.

Victoria Vile. Hello. And Jessie Flores. Welcome.

Now these are... Let's welcome Victoria Vile and Jessie Flores, brothers and sisters. Thanks for having us back. Yeah.

I'm really excited to be back here. I'm really excited to have you. It's such a wonderful time in the festival. It's so good.

Yeah. And you... You know a little bit about the harem. I know a little bit about that.

Do you know anything about it, Jessie? It's not her first time. The harem. Jessie wowed us.

Can you turn the music down? Jessie wowed us like a year ago, right? Yeah. With your performance and your blow-up doll.

And my dildo. That was... And your dildo and everything. You used a dildo?

No, I have my own dildo. Oh. Oh, yeah. Oh, like your own personalized dildo.

You got a lot of fans. That's impressive. So, you're going to shout out to all your fans, Jessie. Hello, everyone.

I love you. So anyway, the part you're going to play, as you know in the story, there's this harem of all the girls who are now chattering. Don't be...

They're just getting busy with it back there. Was that... That was the hookah. Oh.

You must have done it. It happened on your side. It's the Jewish side, see? So it's your fault and you're going to get blamed in a big way in just a minute.

Okay. So now, this is the part where the plot turns Byzantine. Yeah. Well, a little bit.

So in this story... That's just a fun word to say. There are a lot of eunuchs. Now, I'm not talking about a program like Linux and eunuchs.

I'm talking about the phenomenon. Actually, in a way, they were the precursors to the modern transsexual. Of course, the problem with them was they were hardly ever consensual. Yes.

This was done, this was sort of done to men turning them into some form of woman or third sex in order to get them to do these certain jobs, like take care of the harem girls. Those bastards.

Yes, take care of the harem girls. There's all kinds of ways to take care of someone. Yeah, I do know that. You don't know how to just be a harem girl.

They would teach the harem girls, including Esther and the other virgins, how to please the king, right? Yes. It is important to be pleased.

It is. It is. So if you were going to teach Esther how to please the king, what might you say or do?

Oh, I might get in the head of the king for a moment and just say, hey, yo, you got to bring it. So in teacher, how to go about doing something like that? Two words.

Two words. What is bringing it to me? Yeah, that's my question. I got two words.

Bring it. Free dome. Yeah. I didn't catch that.

I got two words for you. Free dome. Free dome? AKA freedom.

Freedom. Oh, yes. Freedom. You have to explain what you mean by that.

Well, the word freedom, if you take apart the two syllables, what does it come out to? Free dome. Oh, anyway.

And so there we are. Very good. Okay. Well, thank you.

Did you learn that in Hebrew school? I actually learned it in high school. Oh, okay. But you were about Mitzvah.

Yes, I was. Well, good for you. This is Hello Vicky Photography, by the way. Hello Vicky Photography.

Thank you very much. All right. So is there any way you could maybe teach the beautiful young virgins to dance or play or do something?

I think we could probably do something like that. Yeah, you want to do something like that? I think so. Okay.

So you want to teach them from there? You want to come up here? You could come up here. Yeah.

Okay. Come on up here. Because we could show them what it is to please. What it is to please.

We could do one or the other. You could, you know, do a little lesson. That's right. Which way would you prefer?

Okay. Well, pleasing, I think, is this king likes to do the torturing. So I think he wants to learn to be pleased.

Right? King, where's the microphone? You got it? Right here.

There we go. Okay. So these are your eunuchs, who you also like very much. Hello eunuchs.

Yeah. Ah! This sounds a bit... The eunuchs.

Okay. So here they are. And what are they going to do? Yeah.

We should have some music. Music, ah. And by the way, there's another thing that's going on with eunuchs during this portion of the play,

actually the Bible story, which is that there are a couple of eunuchs, not these two of course, who plot to kill the king.

Kill the king. It's like an overthrow. It's like you and me within his own eunuch ranks. And guess what?

Who helps solve that problem is Mordecai. Mordecai, you overhear the eunuchs plotting to kill the king. And you hear about this murder assassination plan. We got to get him.

So I got to tell the king? Are you okay? No, you actually can't tell him because you're wearing these robes.

Cousin, I'm pimping. You need to tell the king that these eunuchs is on some shit. They're about to kill him. So you need to go and tell the king,

look at a playboy. It's going to be a drive-by in a chariot with your name on it. So Esther, you need to hit him up. But actually Esther, that's great.

On Mordecai, our hero. Yeah, let's applaud Mordecai. But Esther can't even do that. So she has to tell a eunuch to tell the king.

Anyway, the king is very pleased and enters it into his diary. But in the meantime, Esther is now ready to please the king. Dear diary. So Esther is going to go in unto the king.

And now is Esther's chance to really please him and to dance for him and to seduce him. And brothers and sisters, by the way, this is Leah Pink playing Esther. And as what?

Yeah, you can take that off now. You're with the king. Right. You're with the king.

You can do, you can, you know, you can take more off too. Yeah, you can definitely take more off. She's, you know, this is a gradual seduction that takes place over some time.

And she removes her belly dancing top to reveal her beautiful natural breasts. Let's hear it for Esther brothers and sisters. Yeah.

And those fishnet stockings were very popular in ancient Persia actually. Very nice. All right.

And so the king is pleased. Yeah. Very nice. The king is pleased.

All right. So the king is so pleased, in fact, that he's going to crown her queen. How about that? Take that crown off of that one.

The dead bitch. Right. Actually, how's your circulation? I know a more is so beautiful up there.

How's your circulation? You need to be taken down. You're loving it. Okay.

Let's hear it for more. Queen Bashti. And now you're the queen, but you have to go back into the harem anyway.

Queens don't have much more of a right to do anything than the other harem girls. I got to tell a little bit more of the story. So relax.

Everybody relax in the harem. Doesn't this harem look great? Can we have applause for the harem? Look at this beautiful harem.

Yeah. So now that the king is alive and that he's got a new queen, he's really happy. And Heyman.

Heyman. Right. Heyman is going to take advantage of this situation. Why?

Because when he walks down the street, Mordecai, stand up here. Okay. He's going to walk down the street

and everybody bows down to Heyman. Ooh, bow, bow down. Except Mordecai. What was that, Mordecai?

Hold on. Yeah, fuck you. I'm not buying down the shit. Okay.

So Heyman, how do you feel about that? That's fucked up. All right. So, you know, he's really upset.

But what he's going to do now is, of course, he's got a lot of power because the king made him his right hand man. He's like the prince of princes.

And so, he is going to take advantage of this position to not only have Mordecai killed, but all the Jews. Oh, you dead and all your friends.

That's right. Well, it's what's happening because Heyman, can we have some noise here? Woo!

He's the king's right hand man. So, he brings this edict. You want some shit, Heyman? Okay, he's got this and you're going to get the king

to like kiss it or sign it or something and then unfurl it. And it basically says we're going to kill all the Jews. Yeah, I know the king doesn't have, you know,

he's been drinking a lot and so he just signs the thing. So, you're just going to kill Jews now, right? So, he's going to just start killing Jews just because this motherfucker...

Well, not exactly, not yet. He's going to do it. See, Heyman throws some dice and he decides that it's going to happen

on the 13th of Adar, which is some obscure date, which is quorum, okay? And that's when...

Oh, shit, it's seven. That's pretty good, right? That's impressive. You two might have something in common here.

Other than the whole killing Jews thing, I think we've got a lot going on. Yeah, right, but he's into the killing Jews, right? And that's why he wears his Nazi sign

and this is Heyman. Boom, okay. All right, so now Marachi is very, very upset and so he starts to tear his clothes.

Don't tear the tops though, but you could tear your shirt. Why? Because you're upset. What about him?

You're upset about this thing that you're going to be killed and that Esther's going to be killed and all your relatives are going to be killed.

Everybody's going to be killed. You even have to give up your drink for this, right? This is fucked up. They just killing Jews like it ain't shit

up in this motherfucker. Okay. All right, well, there you go. So Esther, she wants to know what's going on.

What's going on? What's going on? Okay, so you send the eunuch to Bordecai and, Bordecai, you tell the eunuch,

to stop the king from killing the Jews. Look, eunuch, you got to tell my crazy-ass cousin to tell the king to stop killing motherfucking Jews because I'm Jewish and I don't want to lose my hat

because he's cutting motherfucking's heads off. So you need to talk to her, all right? Okay. All right, so you talk to her.

You got to tell the king to not kill all the Jews. Okay. All right? No problem.

Okay, well, actually Esther doesn't say no problem because it is a problem because if you have not been invited into the king's court,

then you can be killed by the guard. Where's the guard? Guard, get ready. Do you have your sword?

Get your sword. Here, okay. All right, no, not yet, not yet. He's in charge now.

Yeah, you are jumping the gun. Okay, so now, Esther is going to come to the king's court but she's, you know, she's very nervous

because this is... She's not invited and when she's not invited, the king can just automatically have her killed

and... So Esther, you're going to come around here. She gets all the people in Shushan, all the Jewish people to fast.

Yeah, you should come naked. That's a good idea. I think that'll help. Yeah, absolutely.

Are you ready? Are you ready to come to the king? Yeah. Okay, so to speak.

Where's my little... Yeah, here it is. Okay. So now, Esther...

Okay, so guard, get right over there. Stand back there. So Esther, come over here. So Esther,

you could come with one of your female, you know, harem girls. Yeah, come on behind her because you might have to hold her up

because she's going to faint in a minute. Okay, yeah. And so you should be holding your scepter king. The scepter is very important here.

Okay. Holding my scepter. Yeah, you're holding your scepter? Holding my scepter.

Yeah. Esther is coming in to see the king and the guard... Okay, before you get...

The guard comes over and grabs her, grab her and point your gun... You're not your gun, but your sword. Sword at her.

Hold the hilt of the sword. And, you know, right... The sword towards her. Yeah, like you're going to...

There you go. Okay, I think we need a picture from this angle. Yeah, turn towards her if they can see you. We need...

Yeah, face the camera here. Okay. So, at this point, Esther thinks,

oh my God, I'm going to be killed. Now, the... Oh my God, she's going to be killed. The Christian version of the book of Esther

says now she faints. So, I thought that's kind of sexy. So, you hold her while she faints. Okay, faint.

She faints and crumbles to the ground. Okay. Whoa. Okay, and where's your crown?

Get your crown. You don't want to break your crown. Yeah. Yeah, there you go.

Okay. Crown. There you go. So, you faint in Heidi's arms.

Okay. There you go. And now, the king... Yes.

You're fainting. Back, back, face back. You're all the way down, fainting. Right, faint.

Yeah. The king is moved by Esther and her beauty. I'm so moved. And he is ready to save her

because the guard is ready to kill her. And, you know, no, not with your body. With your scepter. Now, you hold out the scepter to Esther directly.

Right. There you go. Except, hold it straight. Hold your dick straight there.

Now, this is an important moment. Okay. Esther revives. And this is a moment that's captured beautifully

in this art here. I'm going to show you. Okay. So, have a look here.

This is a medieval painting of Esther in the court of the king. And Esther licks. She kisses the scepter.

She kisses the scepter. Right. You see that? You see how she kisses it?

Isn't that beautiful? You know, when I heard that in my Hebrew school class, I went, this is sexy. You know?

I mean, and I wondered if she sucked that scepter, too. Oh, yeah. Oh, you would have. All right.

Very good. All right. You know, I have a feeling that Esther probably, if this happened in real life,

she not only kissed that scepter, but she sucked it. She embraced it. She made love to it.

She seduced it. Can we have a little music for Esther and the king? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, Esther's working it. Oh. Esther and the king. It's so beautiful.

Yeah. Now, Esther and the king are more in love than ever. Boom. Crown is falling off.

Okay. And where's the microphone now? Boom. Oh, well, there's the microphone right between his pants.

Right there. That's a microphone there. Uh-huh. Yeah.

Yeah. So Esther pleases the king in a big way. Okay. Esther shows the king that she really loves him.

That she, uh, you know, that she's a good queen. Is she a good queen or what? She's a great queen.

All right. So then you say to her, Esther, you're such a good queen. You're such a good queen.

What do you want? Anything. I'll give you anything. Even half my kingdom, my whole dick.

Anything you want. What do you want, Esther? What do you want, Esther? I will give you half of my kingdom.

And she says, I want you to come to dinner. Great. That's it?

She's a Jewish girl. That's awesome. She's gonna make dinner. Right.

She's making dinner. Yeah. Yeah. I'm changing the story because I'm the pimp here.

Motherfucker. Really? That's it? She's taking her time.

Oh. This is, this is her weapon of mass seduction. Right. Is that she's a tease.

Esther is a tease. And the whole story is about the art of teasing. So she doesn't give him her, her desire right away and say, Hey, don't kill me.

Cause he might just say, well, why not? Right. You know, he's not that taken in yet. She needs to take him in a little bit more.

A little bit more. And so she says to him, come to dinner. Come to dinner. And not only that, I want you to bring Heyman.

Maybe a little threesome here. I don't know. I'll bring Heyman. But, but actually she's gonna have her Haram girls too.

So it could be an orgy. There you go. We'll see. In fact, there's a couple of dinners, but I'm going to just sort of skip ahead here.

With the Sizzler. With the Red Officer. Heyman. We ate cheese biscuits.

It was awesome. Is thinking, you know, I am really pissed off at this Mordecai. And he's also feeling really good that he was invited to dinner. Let him have the mic.

He was invited to dinner with the queen. Let's bring the music down. So he's really excited about that. I'm really excited.

He sounds excited, doesn't he? Heyman, let's hear it for Heyman. Yeah. Where's my room?

Heyman for two or three. Yeah. Excuse me, King. Can I get my two camels now, motherfucker?

Well, here's what's going on. Actually, Heyman is ready to, he puts a gallows in his house. And I'm glad. I got gallows in my living room.

Yeah. He's got gallows in his backyard or front yard, actually. So everyone can see. He's going to hang Mordecai right there.

And so he gets up early in the morning to come and ask the king if he can hang Mordecai that day. And the king, whoa, you know, that night he couldn't sleep. So he had his eunuch. Yeah.

Read him a passage from his diary that reminds him that Mordecai saved his life by telling him about the plot about the other eunuchs to kill him. Right. Yeah, right. Okay.

So now he decides he needs to honor Mordecai, right? You do need to honor Mordecai. Yeah. So you do need to.

I do need to honor Mordecai. That's right. And you say, how shall I honor? How shall I honor Mordecai?

And you say you don't know. You're just a eunuch. I don't know. I'm just a eunuch.

Okay. And at that moment, Heyman walks in. Heyman. What the fuck's going on in here?

Well, you would be more polite walking. This is the king. What the fuck's going on in here? Okay.

So the king now says, what shall be done for the man that the king wishes to honor? So king asked him. What shall be done for the king that the man wishes to honor? Well, the other way.

Well, yeah, the honor. The other way. It's okay. You know what I mean.

Yeah. So Heyman thinks he's talking about him. So he says, well, the king should let him wear the king's robes and the king's crown and ride the king's horse through town and hold the king's scepter and everything.

Hold the scepter. Okay. You should let me be you. Well, you'd say that kind of the third person since he asked in the third person.

Okay. He should let you be you. Yeah, right. So the king says, okay, and that is what I'm going to do for Mordecai, the Jew, and you

are going to lead him through town. Okay. What? So now we need our horse.

Oh, god damn it. Yeah, right. Yes. Where's the horse?

Teja. Teja. Yeah. Mordecai, you've helped save my life.

So I allow you to be me for a day. Mordecai, you got a great honor going on now. So you're going to let him wear the, where's the, where's the, where's Teja? Yes.

I need the horse. Oh, we're getting the horse. The horse is coming. The horse is coming.

Well, you're not riding my nuts. Okay, bring the horse in here. Oh, shit. My horse.

There we go. Oh, watch yourself. Come up, love. Hey, move, because if you're, because if you're, because if you're damn as good as

my ass can't sell you, sweetheart. All right. So you could take your robe out off now and let Mordecai wear it. I got the robe now.

Yeah, you got the robe. And he gets to still wear his crown, but you get to wear this on top of your Jew hat. Okay, cool.

Hey, I feel like James Brown. Who are you now? Huh? I feel like I'm James Brown.

Is it good to be King even for a day? Oh, this is off the hook. Yeah. All right.

Now you get to ride the horse. Now you get to ride the horse. Oh, shit. Okay.

And you get the scepter. Oh, but these balls are fucking humongous. Yeah. They're kingly balls there.

Oh, okay. Cool. I'm like, uh... And now Heyman has to take Mordecai through town.

Come on, Heyman. Let's get this, hey, hey Nazi boy. Let's get this shit moving, playboy. All right.

So he's taking him through town and he's really, really mad, but he thinks it's okay because just after this, he's going to get to kill Mordecai and all the Jews. And in fact, he's got, yeah, because that hasn't been reversed.

Esther hasn't even asked for anything. Nothing. All you got was a ride on a horse. So I'm riding to get killed.

You're still in line to get killed, even though you had a nice ride. I'm riding to my own execution. So far.

You could get lucky. I hope so. Jesus Christ. I'm riding to my own execution.

Basically you are. These are gonna fucking Nazi while I'm going. All right. So now we are going to,

we need to clear the horse away, take the horse away. And we are now going, Esther is going to entertain in the harem.

So the harem girls should sit back and the eunuchs and the king is going to be in the harem. And Heyman, Heyman, you get to come into the harem too.

This is your big moment. Whoo. Heyman's in the harem. There we go.

Yeah. See Esther is like a political organizer. She gets all the harem girls to help her out here. You can't go in there though.

Oh okay. Okay. But the scepter does. What?

Yeah, right. How does the Nazi get to go to the harem? You have to sit, you have to sit on the side or something.

What the fuck is this? You know what? This whole being a Jew thing fucking sucks. Well,

you got to suffer for your reward. This whole being a Jew thing fucking sucks. How the fuck does Heyman get to go to the harem and I'm saving the king's life

and I'm just asked to fuck out. I feel you dude. I totally feel you. Don't worry, it's all good.

All right. So now the king and Esther should get into the center. King and Esther get into the center. Center.

Yeah. And. All you do is out there. I'm feeling it.

Okay. Whoa. And Esther is now going to continue her seduction. Yes.

Of the king. Yes. Continue your seduction of the king, Esther. Because soon you're going to have to ask.

You're going to have to pop the question. You're going to have to gain his favor. So keep going where you left off. Yeah.

And of course it's called a feast in the Bible. It's not really called an orgy. But I just figured that, you know. Yeah.

Oh yeah. You should strip Heyman down. Yeah. You should.

Humantaschen anyone? Anyone wants some humantaschen? You want some? It's a little dry.

You should have some water. Okay. So. Whoa.

Now they are. All entertaining the king biblical style. And. Seducing him.

And Heyman is is getting some too while he can. Not for long though. But Hitler definitely did identify. With Heyman.

And he often would have some very serious pogroms. Against the Jews on forum. Do you want to come on a microphone? Say hello.

Hi Helene. Hi there. You're a nice little Jewish girl, aren't you? Yes I am.

Yeah. Have you ever heard this story told twice this way? No. This is the best rendition ever.

Yeah. Can I hear it for my rendition of poem? All right. All right.

I actually was a Sunday school teacher myself. And now I still do it except on Saturday nights and half my class is naked. Yeah. Okay.

So anyway. So here we go. We're in the harem. How are we doing?

Yeah. We're doing good. Let's see. Is the king getting properly seduced?

The king is getting properly seduced. Yeah. Oh yeah. Esther is getting her harem girls to really go to town.

And now the king asks her again. Esther. Can you get the microphone back here? Okay.

And let me get over here. Hello. So now sit back a little. We have a Sybian in our harem.

Oh shit. Yeah. We're going to ride the Sybian. Take the Sybian off the bed.

God. Grab the Sybian. All right. I'm still on her shoe.

I know. I'm like. Suddenly the king has a big black shirt in the middle of the bed. All right.

Whoa. Actually. What do you want? Esther.

Anything. Esther. What do you want? Anything.

And now Esther finally says I ask for my life and the life of my people. I ask for my life and the life of my people. What? Yo people.

He says who are your people? And she says they're the Jews. Who are the people? Who are the Jews?

She's finally coming through for you cause. Yeah. And he says who would do such a terrible thing? Who would do such a terrible thing?

And she turns slowly and she points and she says. Heyman. Heyman. Heyman.

Heyman. Heyman. Heyman. And the king is upset because Heyman is his main man.

Heyman is his favorite guy. Is his beer drinking buddy. And he has to like go away to think. So king you have to go away for a minute now.

He's got to go away for a minute. You go to your throne. Okay. And.

And while he does that. You're not here. While he. While the king is away.

Heyman who realizes what happened. He grows himself at the queen's feet. Please. And he.

I know I'm a Nazi but god damn it please. Juice. He wants her to save his life. And she's just just being cool like a dominatrix.

She just doesn't care. And as he's hawking on her feet. Hawk on her feet. The king comes in.

Come on back in king. And. And he says. What.

Will you. Will he even assault the queen in my presence. Will he even assault the queen in my presence. How dare you.

Just my queen's feet. In my presence. Wait till I leave this motherfucker. And that's when.

And that's when the eunuchs. Take him away. They say. Oh you know what king.

He has a gallows. We're going to hang him. Let's hang him. And yeah he's coming back in.

To enjoy Esther. They're going to take him away. And they're going to put him up on the gallows. That's right.

He's done. This is his gallows. And he's going to be hung on it. Heyman.

The villain. Yeah it with his socks on. That's right. So Heyman.

You got to have your hat Heyman. Yeah. Yeah. All right.

So Heyman is now being hung from his own gallows. As Esther triumphs. And saves her people from genocide. With the powers of her weapons of mass seduction.

And Heyman still has some supporters. Including my producer. And Heyman is going to get. You could flog him a little.

Or whatever you like. And now Mordecai becomes the king's right hand man. Mordecai is just got a promotion. Right.

Yeah. Mordecai is now in Heyman's job. And they reverse the genocide edict. And this is kind of the part I don't like.

Because then of course the Jews kill about 80,000 people. Or more. Yeah. Yeah.

The Jews now have become like Hitler. You know. A little bit. Yeah.

It's kind of fucked up. Right. So you know this is my version of the story. So I'm going to kind of leave out that part.

Because I mean although I'm acknowledging it. You know. We're bonobos here brothers and sisters. Hey doc.

We believe in making love not war. And the Bible's too much full of killing. So I want to emphasize the weapons of mass seduction. And shooting the gun between your legs brothers and sisters.

That's right. And that's what Esther represents for me. And that's why we're not killing our Heyman. We're just flogging him.

Whoa Heyman. Heyman got his nuts played with before he got killed. You're castrating. At least Heyman got his nuts played with before he got killed.

Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty good. I didn't even get to go to the fucking harem.

Yeah. Well you're now the prince. You get to be in the harem. Oh.

Get in the harem. Get in the harem with the girls. All right. At least you're not getting killed Heyman.

All right. So brothers and sisters this is our story. Our poem spiel and we live happily ever after. Now we're going to just wind up the show.

And then it's going to be time to party and seduce each other. All right. So let's hear it for my comedia erotica poem. None of whom rehearsed.

This was all totally improvisational. Yeah. And let's hear it for our palace musician rockstar max hardcore. And Mordecai played by Darrell.

Right. Yes. What am I supposed to say? Oh, check me out every week on Fox Sports Radio all around the country.

Guys, check me out on Fox Sports Radio. And if you're in Vegas, March the 5th through March the 10th. I'm at the Harris in Las Vegas. It's comedy.

Dr. Suzy, I love you once. Oh, I love you too. You get great as Mordecai. Okay.

You guys take this and pass it around and tell us where we can find you. This is Brianna Brooks. You can definitely find me on Twitter. I love Twitter.

I'm obsessed. You're very good on Twitter. It's Bri Brooks, XXX, BRI, BROKS, XXX. So make sure to follow me.

Okay. And now we have Esther, brothers and sisters. Let's give her a hand. Hi.

Hi. I'm Esther, aka Lea Pink. Lea Pink. You can find me on Twitter.

Lea Pink, XXX, Liada. It's spelled L-Y-A-O. I lose my phone. And ideal image, of course.

The wine. Hi. My name is Heidi Hollywood. You can find me on Twitter at Heidi Ho, XXX.

Heidi, H-E-I-D-I-H-O, XXX. Heidi Ho. Heidi Ho. Go ahead and contact me on there.

You can also find me at Ideal Image Models. And I'll respond to all my messages and all my fans. All right. And?

Hailey Sweet. My Twitter is HaileySweetReflex. What else? I don't know.

HaileySweet.com. I'm independent. And? Where's Amor?

Get Amor. Get everybody in here. You can direct the email me or tweet me. And I respond.

So you can never doubt me. Never doubt. All right. Who else?

The world famous king. Let's hear it for the king. Hail the king. It's always T-Real.

I am owner of Ideal Image Models. These beautiful girls are actually ideal image models. So you can always find them there at idealimgmodels.com. Or ideal image model on Twitter.

And also you can always find me at T-Real T-W-E underscore R-W-L at Twitter. And run in the best place of the best people in places like this. So thank you all for having me. It's great.

Thank you. Look these beautiful girls. Put these beautiful girls for sure. Okay.

Here's Heyman. Hi. I'm Heyman. You can find me over at Dark Phoenix 66 on Twitter.

Or you can find me at Facebook Dark Phoenix 6669. Or you can go to rubberandbondage.com. And you can see me dobbing beautiful women like these. And having a good time.

So yeah. Go there. All right. And Amor.

Amor. Amor. And it's as usual. It's great to be back here.

I love. That's Amor. Vashti. Yeah.

Thank you. And I'm proud to say I just got my own one or two pages to start with hustlers. I'm really excited about that. Woo.

Yeah. And it was great to meet everyone here. I had fun. I got spanked.

And you guys can follow me on Twitter Instagram at Amor Hilton. AMOR Hilton. I owe all my respect to this bitch. I mean all my all my success.

All right. To her. Amor Hilton. Oh, thank you.

I appreciate it. I appreciate it. I appreciate it. I appreciate it.

I think you guys are interested which is innocence of the youth by new sensations volume four and I'm actually spray tans and look kind of hot. So you guys should check that out. And I love meeting all of you. Have a great night.

Yeah. So tell me what's your uh you have a your your mom's Jewish? My mom is Jewish. Right?

So you gonna tell her you played Vashti the Queen. Yeah, you're gonna tell her all about the whole plate. Maybe she'll come next time. You want my mom to come.

Yeah, I bet you she would yeah, but she looks like Betty page. That's way more tattoos than I will ever have a way She's like the five nine Tanner Betty page way more tattooed version of me hooray for mommy hooray Let's get a morse here, right? Oh And

Thank you. Oh, thank you darling and what a great idea for a show. Well, this was the poor play poem spiel Yeah, I got educated who here got educated tonight Let's hear it for sex education Bible style Of course the beautiful women. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So who else?

You pick Victoria. Hey, yes, bail. Yes. Hello. Hello Tell us about you what what would you and thank you for being so wonderful as the eunuch Oh, and I and I love the irony about that. Yeah, I did There's irony there is so I but you know, I mean, I mean, of course the eunuch would often be a non-consensual situation of

cutting castration Cutting just, you know, some some nasty stuff. I'm really you know, they didn't have good plastic surgeons back then What can we say they really didn't and thank God they do today and now they do. Yes, and now it's only I mean, hopefully it's a consensual thing One would hope so

They really did do some pioneering of this whole idea Yeah, that you know, you could be born a man and then become a woman It's very true and the third gender has been very prominent and not just in in this this tale, but In all religions, you can say anything you the East Eastern religions and all that stuff and it's just I'm just glad

It's making its way here today All right. And so where do we find you? You can find me at Victoria veil calm And you can also find me on the up network and various different websites like groovy and whatnot but you can also see me on

The very first site I actually produced and help produce which is bitch slut films and they're in the audience tonight Nearing a new genre of porn called porn noir Yes, what is that that I'm so glad you asked dark porn it is it's taking the video of the days of the

How do I want to say this the detectives and Sin City and those kinds of films and just turning it into porn and just making it really really hot Ooh, I could do that too. We'll have a lot with that. Yes. There are sort of lights. Absolutely Okay, who hasn't announced themselves who has it everybody else Sergio come on over here. Let's hear it for Sergio as a Joe the king of the guards, right?

Here's Sergio the guard and he moonlights as a webmaster My name is Richard. Good morning, and you can find me at don't underscore try to find me on Twitter triple X Yeah All right, give him a big hand

Richard good morning. I'm gonna I'm gonna leave that to my scribe here. Okay. Well anyway This beautiful blonde woman who escorted me here tonight This is actually my photographer one of the first for several years who actually shot me a nude for the first time I'm actually

Oh and actually had a bomb it's fun. We are real juice here years ago though Right, we can't wait to see your pictures. Yeah, I can't wait where can we find you at? You can go to flicker.com That's s l i c k r.com flicker.com slash

bi k k i e S a y a h and then the numbers 666

Google you as hello Vicky, right? Hello Vicky And did you thank you? Okay, and here is Jesse Flores brothers and sisters. Let's hear it for another one another great eunuch You can find me

Jesse flow and my website is tsjesse.com which this year won best website, so yeah Congratulations best website at AVN Any awards very very good, and by the way the part that you guys played together was last year played by Morgan Bailey

Nobody's pleasing the king will you guys start pleasing the king please? We need a little pleasing the king for a climax. Yeah He won't come I'll be your king, baby. Yeah

mmm The queen is he don't disturb Esther the queen wash the king all right, so brothers and sisters lovers and sinners I want to

remind you that That we are all children of sex Yeah We are the children of sex don't let anybody tell you

That sex is Not the great mover and shaker of our lives sexes life and the story of Esther really tells you that It's not about sex to make babies nothing wrong with that. It's about sex to seduce in Honor and in service of peace in service of your political cause and

That's what I learned from the story of Esther and it's about how a woman a beautiful Seductive woman can use her powers her weapons of mass seduction To save her people from genocide Yes, and in times like those which were very full of brute force and

hangings and Stabbings and killings and assassinations and mass killings a time that is not so different than ours really That's a kind of human miracle So we celebrate that miracle tonight brothers and sisters

We celebrate the miracle of sex and love and passion and the bonobo way So whatever religion you are I want you to worship with your gun between your legs

whether it's your cock or your pussy your tits or your ass or Your feet all the above. Yeah It's all for love

Now that Esther she really knows how to pleasure that scepter see that's the king scepter right there, isn't it brothers? This is can we have a hand for the scepter Who knows how to kiss That kingly scepter and those those royal that yeah those family jewels, right?

Yeah, absolutely. That's Lea pink brothers and sisters our Esther worshipping the king King Triel mmm so

practice the bonobo way of peace through pleasure Make like bonobos not baboons Make love not war make love to someone you love tonight even if that someone is you I

love you and One billion rising one billion rising brothers and sisters Yeah, and we're done and I want to remind you bonoboville is about to open. Oh, okay. We're not done an Extraordinary new kind of social system. It's called bonoboville. We're giving away a hundred thousand bonobo dollars

So join us. We're doing a new and remember the revolution media group. Yeah Victoria signed up. All right. Yeah. There you go. All right. All right sign up sign up sign up and sign up Yeah, and all the speakeasy stars are gonna be there. Yeah, everybody that's here is actually already a member Yeah, and

Yeah, and remember this remember this They can take put me in prison. They can put max hardcore in prison They can put us one by one in prison, but we will rise above it all rise above it all

Because we are the shock troops. Yeah, the shock troops Frontlines of sex baby and you can't beat us no matter what you do for each one of us you put in prison There's another one coming up We're rising high from our house to your house. Thank you for having us

Thank you. Amen and a women brothers and sisters Okay, let's do a group picture With anyone else you can talk to us. I'm dr. Susan block your mistress of the airwaves But my day job is director of the dr. Susan block Institute for the erotic arts and sciences

specializing in sex therapy over the phone Anytime you need to talk whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination My world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away totally private absolutely Confidential we listen talk with you advise you role play for you fantasize with you

No, fantasy is too taboo and help you with anything from impotence to Exhibitionism fears to desires fetishes to marriages for more information call us at two one three two nine one Nine four nine seven that's two one three two nine one nine four nine seven anytime you need to talk You're listening to radio Suzy one on the worldwide web