“In the Spotlight” at DomCon

Full transcript of “In the Spotlight” at DomCon on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

Hello, Dr. Cootie. Hi, Mr. Sian. Sorry about the technical difficulty. Oh, oh, oh.

Sorry he's all around, you know. We're in a new age. It's the corona apocalypse. We really are.

And the only end in sight is about 66 days from now. Then things will start to get better, I hope. 66. That's a good number.

Just add another six and we're satanic. And he'll be out. So how are you? I am in the spotlight.

I'm doing great. Now that I'm here with you. Wonderful. Well, welcome.

And it's an honor to have you come on and talk about some stuff. You know, you've been doing your show for so long. You have so many people, which you've invited us on many times. And I want you to chance to know us a little better.

Yeah. And I want to chance to know you a little bit better and to take in the shows about you tonight. All right.

Well, you can be my therapist. I like it. It's just me and I got two fabulous Femme Dom therapists. So interrogate me.

Yeah, you look phenomenal. You look so good. And I love that you and Mr. Sian are wearing the same color. Yes.

Well, it's a holiday kind of color here. You know, and I'm in my black licorice latex. Black licorice was recommended to me by Goddess Soma Snake Oil, who also really convinced me to go to my first DomCon in 2015.

Yeah. And you made the rounds and you were there, I think, almost all weekend. I was.

With me, people. I was just going to go for like the afternoon and I ended up living there at the Hilton. And going every year since then.

Yes. I love DomCon. DomCon is the Comic Con of Kink, the Met Gala of Fetish. And now it's the Ted Talks of BDSM.

Yeah. Yeah. And we love having you there. I mean, I know everybody enjoys the opportunity to chat with you

and meet you in person and attend your class and stuff. So, you know, it's been wonderful having you there. I love being there. I love communicating with all of the kinksters.

And, you know, you guys really exemplify the bonobo way of female empowerment with male well-being and peace through pleasure and a little bit of pain. Yeah. So, tell us a little bit about how you got started, what inspired you to take the direction you did

and start your show and everything. I think it started at one time on cable TV. I think I remember seeing you on like back a long time ago on cable. Yes.

Yes. Well, you know, that was a long time ago, but it wasn't the very beginning. I would have to say. I'm not sure where the beginning starts, but when I think about starting kink,

I think about my first childhood spanking. And it was actually my only childhood spanking. But I enjoyed it so much. It was like, I don't know what I was being spanked for, probably for putting my hand down,

my panties in a, you know, grown-up party or something like that. And so I remember being pulled out of the party by my dad who rarely punished me. And I was wearing a frilly party dress and he put me over my knee, his knee, O.T.K. And he spanked me.

Not hard, but just enough to just make me delirious. And my brother was watching, which made it very embarrassing, but also very exciting. And a lot more kind of interesting than like being grounded or, you know, not being able to watch TV or stuff like that.

So I developed an interesting kink at an early age. And I would always say when they would ground me, my parents, I would say, why don't you spank me? And they were, you know, kind of Dr. Spock parents, so they didn't want to do that.

And so they just said, no, no, we're not going to spank you. That was an aberration. Yes, they use big words like that around me when I was five. So anyway, I was longing for it and here I am.

But yeah, I did a lot of twists and turns from that first spanking to doing a radio show. Actually, because I was single, I was very interested in dating. And I wrote a book called Advertising for Love, How to Play the Personals. And that book actually, I must say it foresaw online dating.

Computers were just starting to put people together, but that's the future. And so I started doing a radio show that was first sponsored by the LA Weekly. And it was called Radio Match. Then it was called Date Night.

Then it was called The Susan Block Show. Then I got my PhD, my first PhD, and we called it The Dr. Susan Block Show. And it started with me matching people up on the air. And then it evolved into talking about relationships and dating,

and not so much matching because I found that was kind of difficult actually, the whole matchmaking thing, at least to do it honestly. You know, I think that it's easy to match make and kind of con people in a way. And I think, unfortunately, not all, but a lot of dating services are like that.

But I found that it was better to just talk to people about their dating issues, problems. And of course, then if they got with somebody, they'd have relationship issues and problems. And then, of course, the most interesting issues and problems had to do with sex and kink. And I was just learning about kink, really, other than that first spanking, which really wasn't kink.

It wasn't consensual, and it was with a child, me. So you don't want to spank children, of course, and not as a real punishment. And so I eventually learned about that. I remember my first BDSM party was kind of freaky because I didn't know what it was,

and this boyfriend of the moment who used to take me to swing parties where we had a good time. He took me to a party that was run by this organization called Threshold, which actually made this spatula here that also doubles as a spanking implement. I love kinky toys that you can use in the kitchen or the gardening area.

Yes, so Threshold was holding this party, and I remember I saw this girl being, I don't know, spanked, and she was tied up. And I ran up to her and I said, are you okay? And she just looked at me like, you don't know where you are, do you?

You need a little help. And they sat me down and they told me all about consent and why you might like kink. And I got a total education, well, not total, but the beginning of an education. And that turned me on to that.

And I haven't yet gotten to my public access show, but I'm almost there. You want me to keep going? So I kept going to kinky parties, swing parties, this and that, and I kept doing my show. And then I sold an ad for my show to this guy who became my husband.

Not right away, but it took about six years because he was married to somebody else. And I had all these boyfriends and girlfriends by that point. And then, you know, he started actually working with me and making erotic tapes. And then he became my lover.

And his name is Max, actually. Prince Maximilian Rudolph, Leblavitch, D'Lubkovitz, Defil and Jerry. And that's not even his whole name, but he used to call himself my butler. When we first got together and he would come into the studio where I was doing the show,

the radio show, and I would never get dressed up because it was radio. So I would just do it in my jeans or whatever. And he said, you know, let's expand this. And one of our listeners had come into the studio with a video camera.

My goodness, how high tech was that in those days? And this was like 1990. And he started filming. And then we thought, wow, that's kind of fun.

And my inner exhibitionist came out and I started dressing up a little bit. And Max was so complimentary and so romantic. He made me feel so good about really dressing sexy. I was not one to dress sexy.

I was a feminist. I was not an anti-sex feminist, but certainly not a pretty feminist. I was a hardcore, no makeup, jeans, blue work shirt kind of socialist feminist. And Max kind of said, well, you know, we're a little lingerie.

And so I started doing that, mainly to turn him on. But then I realized it was turning my audience on when they would see the video. And yes, by this time, we were starting to put it on public access, which was a great channel in West LA at the time, because it was channel three

in between four and seven. So a lot of people watched it. And we had all kinds of famous people call us and say, what is this? This is amazing.

And I was there in my lingerie talking to people about their problems and helping somewhat. I think I helped. And I was kind of hesitant about dressing like this. I would even wear like two pairs of panties because I was afraid that maybe

my genitalia might come out or something or my ass might show. And gradually I wore one pair of panties and then a thong. And then next thing I knew I was squirting. But I kind of evolved into the happy horny housewife that I am

and got more and more into different forms of sexual expression, including many forms of kink. And fast forward to 2004, I believe it was my birthday. And I was doing a show in my downtown loft at the time.

And I had a bunch of people there, including this very interesting, powerful, sexy lady named Mistress Sian who brought a whole group of people. Horses, human horses, of course, and a porn star who was learning to be a dom. And so many interesting, almost like a circus of kinksters.

And I was fascinated by this. I also had a group of clowns there that night because it was my birthday. And then Mistress Sian gave me my first consensual birthday spanking as an adult. I'd had some spankings by that time and yet not on my birthday.

So that was exciting. And yeah, yeah, that was really exciting. And I heard about this thing called Domcon. And I was fascinated.

But I honestly didn't get there until Goddess Soma dragged my ass over. And I was so happy she did. And I really have felt connected to you guys ever since. Well, that's a great story.

I remember that birthday night, too. That was a fun night. We had races with your human horses, ponies, and we had clowns. And I forget the porn star, but she was gorgeous.

She was in training to be a Dom. And then this woman with enormous breasts who got them tied up. That was Brooke Hunter. Brooke Hunter, yes.

Exactly. We're in Don Hollywood. Don Hollywood, when he had the LA Fetish Festival of some sort. Yeah.

Yeah, wow, those fond memories. Very, very fond. And you know, memories build up on each other. And here we are today.

And of course, another landmark in my show was meeting Madame Marguerite. It was, yes, that was in 2016. And it was a traumatic time. Yes, the mango Mussolini had just been installed.

Or he'd been kind of elected. I mean, he didn't get the popular vote. But we knew he was going to be moving into our White House. So we were all kind of freaked out.

And I had been asked by the New York Post to do a show about sploshing. And splosh, of course, for those of you who don't know, it's combining food and sex. It's basically using food in an erotic way that,

whether you're just pouring guacamole all over your lover, or you're licking honey off their genitalia. Or if they're a really bad subbie, maybe you just drop a whole pan of spaghetti on their head.

Or it could be romantic. When you share a grape and turn it into a kiss, a lot of vanilla people end up doing like the chocolate syrup and whipped cream.

And they don't even realize they're involved in a kink. Yeah, yeah. It's one of those crossover kinks, really. A lot of people are into it because everybody likes food.

And I hope everybody likes sex. And so why not combine them? And yeah, you can do it in a very kinky way. Nine and a half weeks, that classic oldie.

That really shows having the subbie blindfolded Kim Bassenger and putting different fruits, deliciousness into her mouth, and then suddenly a hot pepper. So there's different ways to do splosh.

And we were going to do it with a lot of food all over each other. And we were doing it with a couple. And that's Chef B Live and Danielle Watts, a famous actress from Django Unchained and Weeds

and Chef B Lives of Gourmet. Chefy made a bunch of sort of sauces, vegan sauces. And so I told my guest coordinator at the time, I don't have enough room for another guest, really,

because we had a bunch of other guests, too. And he says, no, no, you've got to take this woman. She's really amazing. She's this new dominatrix in LA.

And I said, I don't need a new dominatrix. I know enough new dominatrixes and old dominatrixes. I don't need anybody. And he says, no, no, no, we've got to have her.

We've got to have her. And I finally said, okay. And oh my goddess, she just blew me away. She, you know, you blew me away, Madame Marguerite.

You're right there. You got right into the theme and you brought chocolate to represent your pet monkey's poo. And a lot of people think it really was poo, you know.

So it was very, very effective. And I think that's why we've gotten censored on some of those pictures. Yeah. Yeah.

That was just, that was really fantastic. That was a great episode. And yeah, you know, the fact that, you know, we even had the platform to be able to go out there and showcase who we are

and what we do, that was phenomenal. That was a really great show. It was a great show. And you just seduced me with your willingness to get

into the splosh with your beauty, with your intelligence, with also this whole idea of releasing your inner animal that you allowed with your submissives. And of course, I'd been talking to people for years

about releasing their inner bonobo. And so I got right into that. But I really was intrigued and fascinated by the release of all the other animals and how that does help us

as humans, whether we're dominant and like releasing the cougar or you're submissive in releasing a puppy. You know, it really helps us to feel ourselves because we humans, we are animals too.

But so often we forget. And that is the cause of a lot of human problems. And you mentioned the bonobos. You know, you tell everybody about how you got tuned into that.

Because I mean, you've done a book and you've done classes. I think you've traveled and done as a speaker. Yeah, I'm a bonobo buff. You could say I've got a boner for bonobos, a lady boner.

And I've written this book, The Bonobo Way, The Evolution of Peace Through Pleasure. And yeah, it's all about my own experiences with the bonobos, whom I discovered on television, actually, watching a PBS special.

I was a newlywed. Max and I had just gotten married in 1992, but I saw this in 1993. And I was thinking, yeah, I've got a great sex life, but how am I going to keep it great?

How do you keep love alive? How do you keep lust alive? What do you do? And I found that there weren't very many answers in the human world.

And then I saw this special, and it was part of a series called The Nature of Sex that showed all the animals and the humans and how sex is, of course, natural to almost all of us. Maybe there are a few asexual creatures, but not too many.

And then they showed the bonobos. And I saw these creatures who looked just like, you know, my great aunt Tilly and the guy next door, except with more hair. And they were having sex, really athletic sex,

just like humans, except kind of wilder. And then I found out not only do they have a lot of sex, like we do, but they never have been seen killing each other in the wild or captivity.

They make peace through pleasure. They use sex to diffuse violent tension. Then later I found out that they are female empowered. You could say, female's rule, bonobo bill.

That's why I call it a femdom culture, because the females are in charge. They're not bullies, though, not like common chimps where the males are in charge.

And they definitely bully and sometimes kill the lower chimpanzees. But the bonobos, they don't kill. They discipline, just like femdoms. They give you some good, strong discipline.

They call it schooling. Teaching is what a lot of the primatologists call it. Teaching. And yet the boys are very happy.

They stay younger, the bonobo males, longer than the common chimps males. And they just have a nice life. The females, you know, they're in charge,

but they treat the males very well. So I really think the Me Too movement could learn a lot from the bonobos about how to be female empowered without pissing off the boys.

There's a lot of female solidarity in bonobo bill, because, you know, if a male gets out of line, then the females will get together and teach him a lesson if he tries to hurt a baby or a female.

So it's definitely a female-empowered society. And I was so impressed by that. And I just, you know, fell in love with them before I even saw them.

And then I saw them at the San Diego Zoo. And at the San Diego Zoo, I got to know some bonobos and really got into a kind of a relationship

with a few of them that I describe in the bonobo way. And so, you know, I do a lot of talks, yes, presentations, sometimes with other people, sometimes by myself.

At DomCon, of course, I've done about five of them. And at ASEC, the Association of American Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists, I'm not certified as a therapist, by the way, everybody should know.

I don't want to be certified because that restricts how I can work with my clients. But I do like to go to the ASEC events. And I've spoken there a couple of times.

And I like to learn from my fellow therapists, but I don't like to be restricted by their boundaries. I have my own boundaries. But those are my own boundaries.

I have a question for you about the bonobos. You know, in many other cases, you see like in where it's male dominated, there's always kind of an alpha

or a fight to see who's in charge. Is there anything like that with the bonobos or is it a nice, well adjusted group that shares the power? The answer is somewhere in between.

Yes, there is usually an alpha female and her son is usually considered like the alpha male and it's an older female. Milf's rule, bonoboville.

It's definitely older females are the most valued creatures in bonoboville. They have the most power. And by the way, when I use the term bonoboville,

sometimes I mean my group here that are humans. But right now I'm using it to describe a bonobo community among real bonobos. Now among real common chimpanzees,

yes, there's definitely a male alpha and there's a lot of fighting that goes on and killing among the males. So it's a very stressful life to be a male chimpanzee.

It's even more stressful to be a female chimpanzee because the female common chimps get raped, attacked, harassed all the time, sometimes killed. But the males are the ones that are more likely to be killed,

although babies get killed. And among bonobos, they've never seen any bonobo killing another bonobo in the wild or captivity. So hopefully we humans won't teach them how to do that

because they're smart and they could learn and I hope they teach us first how to make peace through pleasure. And by the way one way that they do that is through what I call bonobo BDSM

where they incorporate, I mean they're not just total flower children. I mean they can be violent. They have violent energy just like we do.

But they don't kill each other. They seem to channel this violent energy into rough play, into various forms of interaction that I call bonobo BDSM

because everybody ends up happy and having some kind of sex. So that's really awesome. Do you have any follow-up coming from that book or anything? Have you done any additional studies or is it pretty much exhausted?

Oh it's definitely not exhausted. First of all I'm a sexologist. One of my PhDs is from Sexology from the Institute for the Advanced Study of Human Sexuality.

I'm not a primatologist. So I study bonobos but I'm not a primatologist. And unfortunately the zoos are closed right now. It's the corona apocalypse.

You know and we're all masked up and you know waiting to be free. And unfortunately bonobos have a respiratory system like humans so they can get it too. So they're in quarantine too right now.

And so all the studies are kind of on hold. And maybe not all of them. But I'm currently reading a book by Dr. Brian Hare and Vanessa Wood.

I've had Vanessa Wood on my show. A few years ago she wrote The Bonobo Handshake. And they just wrote a book together called Survival of the Friendliest which is all about how yeah you know being a bully doesn't really pay

even in terms of evolution where you think that the strong survive you know the rule of the jungle. Well bonobos actually prove that sometimes it's the friendly that survive that have the most sex that reproduce the most and that get along the best.

And so that could be the key to human survival as well. That is certainly my belief. You know we haven't had a chance to talk much since the election but I know over the years how politically open you are and stuff.

What is your thoughts about what came down politically in the last two weeks? Thank you for asking and I definitely admire your own political engagement Mr. Sian. And yours Madam Marguerite. I'm very inspired by both of you as I am by Mistress Tara Indiana

who brought the dominatrixes against Donald Trump to my show. A few years ago and we did Russian hooker pee parties and she got me into you know spanking and whipping Trump. And of course this is my goddess Phoenix fiber optic whip that I love.

She gave it to me for a birthday. And yeah so Mistress Tara kind of got me into spanking human surrogates for Trump to kind of get out my frustrations. Sometimes I call it post-Trump sex disorder.

And I even have a Trump voodoo doll that I use sometimes. And on Domkan Halloween in New Orleans I did a whole exorcism with a pumpkin I called the Trumpkin and I whacked him and I skull fucked him. Can I say that?

Yeah I guess I did. And then I just smashed him smashing Trumpkin. And I don't know I like to think that I helped to get him out of there. And I know that a lot of us a lot of us worked together worked and played and pushed and

protested and put it out there you know and I don't I'm not in agreement with everybody that got together you know a lot of conservative Republicans. But I really am happy that he's he's out of there you know. Trumpy Dumpty fell off his wall and had a big fall.

And he may be denying it he's too conceited to concede that's obvious. If you're tuned in live right now that's what's happening. There's a little bit of confession coming out that he won oh no I won. Anyway he's a big baby we all know in the kink world about adult babies.

He should really get into adult baby training because he's out of control he's out of control. But at least we're going to get him out of the White House. We're going to get a guy in there who's not exactly progressive. But he's at least you know not a racist sexist pussy grab.

There's some hope there's some hope and and we have a female vice president who's also a woman of color and and you know I disagree with a lot that she's been pushing. She shut down back page Kamala did and she she was a big proponent of Cesta Fosta. Lately she's been making some noises about decriminalization of sex work

and I know when she's been running for vice president she doesn't say anything about that. And I'm just hoping that she'll get back on that that you know that activism. And I think that we all need to push her and we all need to push our representatives in Congress. You know Goddess Soma is extremely active politically she inspires me.

You know I just feel like sex workers of all kinds are getting more active. It's very disheartening and scary that you know the Trumpster got so many votes. Really yeah we have to think about that. It was the real scary part that there was 70 million people in this country

and that says that the bigger problem in the country than just Trump. And I can't say I was I was surprised because even though most of my friends like you guys of course are you know I guess against Trump and what he stands for you know most of my clients probably voted for Trump most of my sex therapy clients because hey

those are the people that need help with sex the most. And I am proud to say that I converted a few you know I don't believe in gay conversion but I do believe in political conversion and there are dominatrixes that have done that that are really kind of amazing but I've certainly worked on that.

I've written up some articles about you know the development going from Trump to Black Lives Matter you know and there's you know I there's different reasons for it but one of the reasons is opening up sexually and and seeing the the hypocrisy of this administration and that's not just of course Trump but that's the whole religious right that that would deny

women's right to choose that would deny gay people's right to get married that would deny trans people's right just to live that would deny so many of our our I guess for one of a better word sexual rights and and you know that was really going in a bad direction during this Trump Pan-Z administration and actually Chip Pan-Z's aren't as bad as Trump they don't kill

that indiscriminately I mean he's he's killed what is it 250,000 people with the Trump virus almost not quite you know one of the things that you know I don't think any candidate or person in this politics is going to be perfect but one of the things that I would impressed with last year a column of I read an interview uh-huh and I had voted for her to be

senator so when the whole set the thought that he came you know I was really upset about that yeah and I read an article last year about that he admitted that and that it was the wrong thing to do yeah made a mistake on that and so you know and and my this is made mistakes about some of things that he passed in 90s but yes I have respect for people who will stand up and say hey

yes I did make that decision I did it at the time I thought was right but I made a mistake yes I agree I mean I I'm gonna hold her to it I she said she is at least leaning towards the decriminalization of sex work and that would certainly mean uh altering at least assessed to foster uh and uh and you know Biden also has yes confessed that he's done wrong things and

I think that's important that's a sign of being a grown-up that the big baby in chief will never do admit he's wrong I think we've got our work cut out for us as far as that lobbying and and things like that when we are the new year starts well we do what I was going to say was um you know I really feel like the community had a lot to do with Kamala Harris and uh the direction because

you know we went to her office and the first time we went to the office there was a whole slope you know Bella Bathory uh Susie Q and she wouldn't let us in she wouldn't talk to us and we were there for hours and we went back and went back and went back and eventually uh the lobbyists they'd get to speak to her you know I wasn't present for the conversation but you know when we were

a lobby in SB 233 except for that you can't be arrested for having condoms or you know reporting violent crimes you can't be arrested for misdemeanors that was really important and we yes if it wasn't for us going to the offices and speaking to the politicians they wouldn't have known what the bill was so they wouldn't have they would have voted no on it and they would have never even if they

did know about the bill they would have never voted yes on it because they weren't they didn't hear our perspective so the fact that we went out and we talked to these politicians it made a huge difference in uh you know the votes and just having a basic understanding of politics you know anybody can walk into a politician's office knock on the door and talk to a staffer

yes and you know it's really what we do it and there's discrimination against sex workers in more ways than just uh legal bills and stuff look at what happened with uh the covid when they with the funding yeah things like that yeah if you were involved in any kind of adult industry I mean even if you're a producer or an actress or a camera person okay you weren't you weren't

eligible for it and so it's like you know you're telling me you can't work but because you do this work we're not going to help you through it you're just out in your own in the streets yeah yeah uh I mean we've a lot of sex workers have been very very creative about that um uh what was the name of the group that we had over here uh on the show we had uh

a strip club in uh it was they called it boober eats instead of uber eats you know they're doing delivery um lucky devil lucky devil lounge up in uh in portland uh because they couldn't get any relief they they got their strippers doing deliveries and uh is is amazing it of course didn't make as much money as lap dances but still it it helped and of course got

the word out and uh and now I understand from what I hear uh they are going to give relief in Oregon at least to sex workers so that's a problem yeah it's a start it's a start you know there's a lot it's the oldest profession sex work you know whether you're um you're actually having sexual intercourse or you're whacking somebody um or you're teasing somebody or you're

just doing a sexy dance or uh you know whatever you're doing it's uh it is the oldest profession and you can see it in the animals and the bonobos of course you know where food is exchanged for sex all the time and uh the bonobos exchange food for sex just like a lot of animals the difference between bonobos and a lot of the other animals is that sometimes the females

pick up the check yeah that's because the females have the bananas and the mangoes and uh because the females are uh so empowered they get first dibs on the food and therefore they get to share the food with their lovers of choice you know so um you know I'll give you a mango if you give me a good muff dive baby um you know and so they it's an interesting lesson that they teach

us about how to empower ourselves sexually that economic empowerment is a very important part of sexual empowerment and vice versa yep yep it's a beautiful lesson yeah so the bonobos have a lot of good lessons for us we have to save them because they're highly endangered and uh not only can they die of COVID like us but they are also being hunted in their native habitat of the Congo

it's illegal to hunt them as bushmeat but people do it anyway uh because they're hungry and and they don't they haven't been educated I have several uh associates that are down there helping to save the bonobos lowly a bonobo and bonobo conservation initiative in the bonobo project and uh we need to save them so that we can continue to study them and and uh be inspired

by them yeah I totally agree that's why uh you know I gave that you know uh animal activist award during the pet awards because you know there's a lot of people that donate to causes a lot of people that share causes and things like that but out of everybody in the community and never met anybody who worked so hard and put so much effort into actually helping these animals so

I really uh I admire you for that and I love how you know you incorporate these worlds so much to make people really understand why this is important and why these animals are important so thank you for that well thank you for my award madam marguerite madam marguerite gave me best animal activist at dom con la 2020 and uh I cherish that um you know you we're we're both animal lovers and and some of

our animals are people that's right that's right 100 you know a couple years ago you gifted me the book and it was amazing so thank you can you go ahead and tell anybody who might want to get this book or read it you know how how'd they get it they did on amazon did they contact you yes it's on amazon yes uh it's easy to get you just go to amazon the bonobo way uh but if you want to sign a copy

yeah you got to go through me uh I guess you got to go to dr susanblock.com um and by the way people uh out there who either want to get the book a signed copy or uh maybe you want to get um my splosh and art edition of the speakeasy magazine which features madam marguerite uh let's see where we can here you are right here that's my coffee table book yep that says there you are you're I mean

and and we have trump here we splosh trump actually and uh we have some other pictures of of you and here you are he got pudding food yes and so uh this has is a very colorful creative book of of uh from this one show um splosh and art and then we have another great magazine called spanking art which uh features also madam marguerite is in it and um mr cyan is in it uh and and lots and lots of

doms uh here's mr cyan giving me a spanking not the first one but it was a spanking somewhere along the line and uh there's lots of great pictures in here so you can get spanking art you can get splosh and art um we have a new uh shopping site that we call dr bloch's pleasure shop where you can get all this stuff and you can just call us at 626-461-5950 yeah give us a call

can we get that number again 626-461-5950 that's right and uh we're here we've always got someone here 24-7 okay we've always got someone here and uh and sometimes we are doing a show usually just Saturday night we're doing a show right now we're doing a show with you it's Monday night but uh but usually we're a very private therapy institute and uh and we will completely keep your

confidentiality if you are a client of the institute and you know we we specialize in talking to people about stuff that they can't talk about with anyone else and you know i started doing this uh therapy over the phone um i guess uh wow shortly after i got my phd a couple years i was just doing therapy in person and then i realized that people are much more comfortable

talking virtually about some of this stuff and so that was like in 1991 that i started uh doing therapy over the phone sex therapy and now uh there's a lot of people doing it and uh the more the merrier i say because people need help especially now in the corona apocalypse there's a lot of lonely depressed uh people there's single people that can't

connect can't you know meet and there's people in relationships that are fighting um there's uh a lot of uh anxiety stress financial stress and sexual stress i mean the great thing about the corona apocalypse is yeah maybe you have more time to masturbate um and uh and just play with yourself you know kind of explore toys and stuff like that um that is a cool thing to do

but uh but it's there's a lot of stress so um if you need to talk give us a call yeah there's a our society breeds shame and embarrassment about sex and uh and it's so important uh when it comes like sexual things to be able to speak with someone who's knowledgeable in understanding i know a submissive uh who had a therapist

and after about four visits finally said something about his uh interest in bdsm and the visit after that the next visit the therapist came and said you know that lasted um session we had when you told me about the things you did i had nightmares about that and i told him the therapist told him i mean i believe it i i totally believe it therapists

are people too and if they're not trained and if they don't understand kink they react you know uh and they can sometimes traumatize their own patients by their reaction because the patient takes so long to to confess their feelings and then they get hit with something like the nightmare of the therapist so oh my god but uh more and more therapists are

waking up but you know a lot of times as a therapist i do recommend that people go see a dominatrix uh you know if they have a kink that they want to explore and uh it's a little um controversial uh and uh you know it might not be something to just put out there on a first date you know uh and especially right now it's uh it's it's a little touchy so to speak

and so uh exploring it with a professional like a femdom a dominatrix is a good idea yeah because we um you know we're not judgmental we're educated and knowledgeable about it and that and we understand the fact that fantasies are fantasies and sometimes that when they become a reality they're just wonderful and at other times that when the fantasy becomes a reality

the reality doesn't live up to the fantasy and uh and they shouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed about that you know um one of the nice things about the services that pro doms can do and stuff is that you can trust you can get uh information that's that's genuine and we're not going to impose any kind of guilt or or ridicule unless that but they're into um instead of make somebody feel bad for

what they're into or what they're fantasized about and that is uh that does bring up the interesting subject of ridicule and humiliation and uh public disgrace you could say uh there you know it's something that is so kind of you i guess counterintuitive people think oh nobody wants to be humiliated well excuse me but a lot of people it's not that they want to be

but they are turned on by it and uh it's it's something that can get you in trouble i sometimes wonder if uh if mr jeffrey tubin of the new yorker who uh became the legendary zoon dick if he was actually you know kind of communicating with his pro dom on one screen with the new yorker on the other screen and then he you know also had a risk fetish you know which a lot of people have

and because he had a risk fetish he was doing them simultaneously and then oops the new yorker group sees the zoom dick well you know it's dangerous to explore your uh fetishes without uh some supervision you could say and be careful what you wish for you may get it i'm sure he had a bit of a humiliation fetish an exposure fetish certainly and uh i'm sure he's not feeling too good about it right

now right yeah and you know that's part of why i became a professional dom because i know there's so many people that need the education and i feel like why should i limit uh my knowledge on my skills to just personal players when there's like so many people that need training and and even just in the life so you know what we do you could really injure yourself if you don't know what you're doing

if you're not doing it right so you know yeah education well i also recommend to couples that want to explore bdsm that you know you you go to a dominatrix a pro dom who can put you through the paces and teach you how to do some of this because otherwise you might hurt each other people who are into dangerous fetishes like choking uh and a lot of people are into that and uh and don't

do it and accidentally you know there's a terrible accident uh so it you know if you're into something that's even a little bit dangerous even even just regular bondage can cut off circulation so it it it helps to take a class or go to a pro dom and yeah right now it's hard to go to anybody um but certainly there's lots of stuff online you know like i said dom cons becoming

the ted talks of bdsm so it's just like somebody if somebody's a baseball player they're not going to go to a basketball coach to you know improve their their skills you go to someone who knows about the the particular thing you're interested in learning about or uh participating in yes but people you know going back to just the whole idea of shame they they have a hard time a lot of

people especially the people that need it most people that are in uh you could say trump country or the red states or religious people uh these are people that they're so ashamed of what they're doing and not in a kinky not in a fun way although it could be turned into fun kind of shame but the shame that i'm talking about maybe shame breathe um resentment does something that somebody likes but

the way they were brought up that this is wrong they start to resent it because they like it and they don't want other people doing it or what's your thoughts about that yeah i think it does uh shame shame that is not eroticized like uh like them doms eroticized humiliation but if it's just shame that just sits there on your psyche and keeps you from doing what you want to do then you think

yeah i don't want these other people doing it uh i think that's one reason that uh you know there's such a big push to limit uh women's choices when it comes to sex especially women but but men too i think a lot of people are of the feeling that if i can't do it because my religion says i can't do it or because i'm too uptight to do it then nobody should be doing it and in fact you people

should be punished for it and of course america was founded by the pilgrims and the puritans if you're tuned in live we're coming up on the holidays and you know thanksgiving and and uh i don't know if any of that uh feel good feast actually took place but we celebrate thanksgiving uh the saturday after thanksgiving and i do know that the the puritans and pilgrims

were experts at spanking and other forms of impact play the only problem was they did it non-consensually and they did it to shame people and yeah when you're shamed by it then you feel like everybody should be shamed by it it's uh you know only fair so to speak um and it's uh it's rough to break the cycle but i encourage you if uh if you've been shamed your whole life about your

sexuality try not to shame your children try not to shame your neighbors uh try not to shame other people um maybe you need some therapy yeah with the right person yes yes or finding the right therapist is like finding the right lover it's uh it's challenging or the right step down for that what advice would you have for finding

the right therapist is there specific questions or is there something you would recommend because i said i know someone in the in the lifestyle that that had that really bad experience with one and how do you know other than like for example yourself it's that pretty much out there somebody was just going to a clinic or something is there anything specific you would recommend that they

should ask or yeah well first of all you know everybody has a website so you can always look and see if people have that phrase kink positive or uh that uh you know something kink or sexual adventure or or or something about sex um that that helps uh i i also think that it's important that you get up the courage to talk about it soon in your um you know when

you're interviewing a therapist so that yeah either you're doing it during your free session your first session or uh your second or your third so often i encounter my own clients who tell me that they have a therapist that they've been talking to for years and then finally they bring up their fetish and the therapist has a reaction like that uh one you mentioned who said oh i had nightmares

or what's wrong with you or um you know i could report you for that uh you know there's all kinds of bad reactions and now it's like you're in a relationship with this therapist it's kind of like not bringing up your sexual kinks until you're already married and you have kids and you know that's that's even worse when you bring up kinks and and true deep sexual feelings

late in a relationship at which point you know divorce would be very painful uh it's not quite so bad with a therapist but it can be traumatic to have established a whole relationship and then find out your therapist thinks you're weird so i would say put your weirdness out let your freak flag fly with that therapist in the first session uh and uh or the second or the third

but don't wait five years before you put it out there and see how they react so that you can make an informed decision um people so often give so much power to their therapist and therapist is like a dom uh in so many ways there's so many uh similarities um so be careful who you're going to give your power to you know uh do do some thoughtful interviewing before you just

sort of hand it over hand over your soul on a platter well that's great advice dr susie thank you so much for that and for everything that you do just see you know creating the spaces that you do you do a great job of welcoming people well thank you madame marguerite i i do it because i enjoy it but i'm glad

that uh there are mutual benefits you know i i mean uh i i i i kind of have my introvert and my extrovert personalities i go into introvert most of the week and that's when i talk to my clients one-on-one and i'm i'm very focused in just going into their world and being very private and not wearing latex uh and then uh you know i like to party and i like to have fabulous friends like

the two of you and uh and get dressed up and um and and perform kink so to speak and see other art form you know there's kink as therapy uh and kink as an art form and i i think they overlap but they're a little different and for me the kink as an art form is when we have our show we used to have orgies and play parties hopefully we'll get back to that one day but uh

you know it's it's a new world that we're in hopefully it's not a permanent world i hear about vaccines so uh that's exciting and i i hope so because i'm mr ceremonies of dom con uh 2021 and i hope you get together in real life yeah you know i i think sometimes it's it's even safe to say that the kink is therapy because i know some of the clients that i've had over the years has said

you know god if it wasn't for this i probably would be divorced because i would build resentment against the person that i can't do because i can't do it but coming to do in bdsm section they can get that kink out they're not having sex so they're not really cheating or anything and they go home with a good feeling and um and have a good relationship compared to resenting the

person for not allowing them to let something out that's important to them and most people who are into kink realize that the longer you don't do it the stronger that drives comes absolutely and you know i mean what you're saying certainly applies to kink it also applies to good sex i mean god or the goddess or nature or all three or everybody all the gods of goddesses gave us this sexuality

some of us it's kinky actually most of us i think is have some kinks but but certainly we're all sexual creatures and uh and and sex yeah one of the purposes is procreation okay to make babies and you know the earth mother our mother the earth is quite overloaded with with many humans and i don't know that we need to focus all of our sex drive into that like a lot of religions tell us to do

i think that the bonobos show us that our sex drive can help us to make peace through pleasure they do exactly what you're talking about they use kinky sex where they slap each other around and somebody's in charge and somebody submits and and then they make up they have foot fetishes they do body worship um they do a lot of this stuff to release stress to release the kind of stress

that makes common chimps kill each other that makes humans kill each other this is the kind of stress that we social creatures we we primates we big brain social primates we we have a hard time with life and sex our sex drive our kink uh fantasies are there to help us with that to help us release sometimes you know i take a client that was humiliated because maybe

they you know they're i don't know for whatever reason have something like they're short i say that because i'm short so you know maybe maybe you were humiliated as a kid uh and and so uh you grow up and you feel really bad about this and uh then you realize wait a second my cock gets hard when somebody beautiful humiliates me and what is that and so many people i talk to are so confused by

getting hard over something that bothers them such as also cuckolding oh my my girlfriends with somebody else but it makes my penis hard what what what's going on well there's a lot of things going on and i could break it down in detail but the basic thing that's going on is nature is giving you some medicine to help you feel okay about this difficult situation that you're in

whether it's because you're a short person or your girlfriend is having sex with somebody else or you know whatever it is you you have a problem and sometimes your sexuality will turn that into a kink so that you can enjoy it and it helps to kind of see this and then play it you know and once you can see that maybe you won't feel so bad about being short because you're growing up now

and you're not in high school anymore and you don't have to worry about being teased like that but yet you get excited being teased and that's okay that's your your cock responding in a way that was really important when you were in high school now it's only important because it turns you on you know now maybe you've made a million dollars and you don't have to worry about people

humiliating you but yet you're turned on by people humiliating you and that's okay because you're still working out your childhood trauma and yeah it might take your whole life but if you can do it with someone you trust whether it's a you know a lifestyle partner or a prodom then that's okay in fact that's great yeah that's really thoughtful yeah you have accomplished so much it seems like you know

phd's written books you've got to show what's left on the plate as far as goals you know i mean where where can you go from here that you want to do um my goal is not to have to wear this no i actually enjoy masks um i mean i i do want to write some more books and i want to do some more shows you know honestly my goals are doing more of what i'm doing i i want to do a new issue of the magazine in fact

that is being worked on right now we're developing a new issue based on our um our anniversary our wedding anniversary back and all so uh madame marguerite will be in that too i'm not sure mister cyan has been to any of my anniversaries but we'll squeeze you in uh and uh and so yeah we're we're doing more magazines um we're uh i guess always expanding the message and um right now not getting

too crazy about planning projects because we don't know what's in store what nature has in store for us with the the coronavirus so is um is there anything that you would like to um to bring up that we might not have touched on or anything doctor oh uh let's see i i wrote down some notes um uh but we've actually gone over quite a lot of my notes um yeah quite a lot i i guess um

i would like to say uh since i'm here with you strong powerful ladies a farewell to my good friend dr betty dodson she just left this earth uh on halloween actually like the sex witch that she was and still is somewhere in another dimension uh she had given me my first orgasm not in person but yeah i'm a bookish girl so i read her book uh sex for one uh way back when and uh and and that

was definitely very empowering um so uh so i just wanted to give a shout out to her in the other dimension and of course i want to give a shout out to my fabulous husband uh captain max prince max uh my butler max uh who does everything with me and uh and i'm just just he's he's my love and we're married uh over 28 years um and uh i think it's important you know to have good

men in your life if you're a woman um and it reminds me of a one little story that i was thinking of when you guys were telling me that you're going to talk about you know what made me what i am and mostly it's good things that made me what i am but i remember one incident that i i never talk about because it was so painful physically and mentally but but physically

when i was about 11 years old and uh i was just starting to like boys but not you know i was a little bit of a late bloomer because i was so little and uh and there was this boy who was a neighbor of mine named ronnie and he was big and um i didn't like him i mean i was nice to everybody but he wanted to go steady or whatever they called it and i said no and maybe i didn't do it in

a really polite way but i said no and uh and i thought that's okay and then uh one day it was in the snow uh i grew up in philadelphia so we had a lot of snow and i was making a snowman i think and i just in my yard and he comes running up to me and kicks me and i fall down in the snow and he takes a big piece of ice and he throws it in my face all of a sudden this took about

less than 10 seconds and there's blood everywhere and i i don't know i i've had a lot of pain physically in my life but maybe that was super painful because of the way that he did it and yeah i still have a scar on my nose i was scarred for six months with his action and i guess i learned that um just because a boy likes you doesn't mean he's going to be nice to you

and so you gotta you gotta watch out and you gotta find nice boys um who will be nice to you it's not about them liking you uh it's about them being nice to you and uh and i i guess i learned that lesson in a very painful way and i i carry it i love men and i i uh you know i i love being with a man you know being married i i loved when i was single and

having sex with lots of men i love bdsm with men um but you know there's a certain kind of guy that's going to hurt you and i don't i don't want to i don't want to have that guy uh at least not in my presence physically i i might talk to you over the phone that's another reason that's one not in person with someone like that and i think um you know there's two movements going on among

our men in this world um there's like uh the harry styles kind of guy the max kind of guy you know and uh and and there's definitely a strong movement towards that and that's what i call a bonobo male uh and uh uh very happy very positive in touch with their feminine side and yet uh there's a some kind of masculinity which is always hard to define and then there's

another movement that uh kind of overlaps with this um the red states i guess but uh it goes farther than that and that i would say is the incel movement of men who uh who are deprived of sex for whatever reason you know maybe it's their personality maybe it's their situation in life or um maybe it's not their fault maybe it is their fault uh but they are not having sex

and and they blame women and uh and i i talk to a lot of these guys and i i try to help them i don't feel they are beyond help a lot of feminists do a lot of feminists want to write them off as just riffraff and i think that's dangerous and they need to learn they they can't be like my neighbor ronnie can't be thrown ice in my face but

if you stay where you are and you're polite uh i'll work with you and help you to express your sexuality and find feminine beauty in your life we all deserve that we all deserve sexual expression a sexual life and if we're kinky we deserve a kinky life that's right and so many are denied that so yeah i guess uh i just wanted to tell that story

before we go that's great wait i'd like uh if you would uh have your team send me over like a banner and links and stuff like that so we can get your your banners up on the domkan sanctuary sites in case anybody does want to um speak to someone who's knowledgeable in understanding all right of course it's a mutual admiration society

it is it's fun to have you you gals interview me and i've got to have you back on my show too we have to talk about sex and religion kink and religion sometime yes we sure do yeah you feel a lot consider coming back on sometime and and more much of course happy holidays happy holiday thank you all right good night everybody it's so good to see everybody

thank you so much for watching everybody good join and everybody good joins in in the chat room until next monday good night good night good night all right