DomCon 2020 Virtual Mistress Tea, The Bonobo Way & Afterparty

Full transcript of DomCon 2020 Virtual Mistress Tea, The Bonobo Way & Afterparty on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

I'm so happy to be here at the Mistress team, alright I've even got my tea which is actually coffee role-playing as tea. Okay I wanted to thank you for the Best Animal Activist Award, wow I'm so excited and I'm going to talk more about that.

You look great, you look like you're ready to wrangle some animals and you look like quite a sexy animal yourself. Okay so everybody sounds like static, am I, wow, hey little feedback, I don't know if everybody else is hearing this or just me, is this just me?

I feel like I'm in the twilight zone of the dom consphere, oh so somebody else is in the twilight zone of the dom consphere, okay. We hear different noises but at least we're together, yay. Group therapy for doms out of touch now, we can be in touch as much as possible.

Hello everybody, happy dom time, so nice to swim, I feel like I'm sort of swimming underwater and with the sounds, they sound like dolphins I'm hoping and not sharks and I'm here in the dom consphere from Vinnovo on the boss and I'm so happy to be here and I'm just excited that we're able to communicate at all.

It's kind of like virtual dom therapy for doms as well as for the people out there who are probably more perhaps submissive or just curious who aren't coming on visually which takes a lot of gumption but we hope you're getting a little therapeutic value from connecting with us in these times of no connection.

Yes, I love the color of that latex. Very nice. The shade of blue is one of my favorites. Nice, typically my favorite color of blue is the blue balls.

And we're also having head talks for technology challenge doms today at dom cons. How to use your zoom equivalent or whatever we're using. It's quite a challenge and we're all learning and that's what dom cons all about. Different types of learning.

And enjoying and fortunately everyone doesn't have to learn how to look beautiful because I'm just amazed at the female and male but a lot of female polkratude and beauty between most dazzling dom goddess phoenix and of course Madame Marguerite and so many beautiful doms.

I love Marilyn. I'm getting some eye candy, that's for sure. I love Marilyn Monroe. Thank you.

Marilyn Monroe is right behind me. She's my patron saint, my middle name is Marilyn. And Max, my husband brought her into the marriage. That was part of his dowry.

So what do you think about Jerry Falwell being a cuckold? He watches his wife have sex with the pool boy, according to pool boy. And he even admits that his wife had sex with the guy but he doesn't want to quite say he's a cuckold because for a lot of men that's embarrassing.

But you know it's very common. It's very common. We all know that, right? The cuckold fetish.

Oh, it's very common. What's in my book? Hollywood dominatrix tells all comes out. Oh, there you go.

Well, it's in quite a few books and we can't wait to see your perspective, goddess phoenix. But the cuckold fantasy fetish phenomenon is just so common all through the ages but I guess now with the, you know, the manosphere and the domisphere, it's coming out of the closet a lot more, just so much more.

But you know what? I said, as a goddess, I do enjoy the worship of men. And I do like being on that pedestal. I said, like the Olympian gods.

I said, everything that I do, I said it's not done out of pain. A lot of what I do is done out of nurturing. Absolutely. It is the reason why we have different titles in, within our community of drama,

and lady, and goddess. Right. What are the meanings of these different titles? I mean, I'd love to hear you guys, your perspective on mistress, goddess,

madame, what, is there a difference or is it up to the individual? I mean, from my perspective, like when I started 30 years ago, I started as lady phoenix. Yes. And it really was not me.

It wasn't a good fit because I'm very Amazonian. I love my muscles. So lady could almost be a switch. Right.

Lady could be a switch. Right. And so I wanted something more that fit my name, my persona, who I was as my image. Yes.

And for me, goddess covered the Olympian top of the pedestal, Olympian gods. It also covered muscles. It also covered an array of nurturing, which I add versus where mistresses are, have a different title.

Yes. Have a title. Yeah. Lady Victoria is very unique.

So a mistress is more about punishment than a goddess or. You know, I mean, the mistress, you know, I mean, you know, really the way I see it is a mistress is anyone that, you know, if you submit, if you're submitting to someone, that's your mistress.

Okay. And if mistress is not a person's honorific, not anybody has the right privilege to call them mistress. Like for me, I'm mad.

Right. People that call me mistress are the people who submitted to me. So if somebody else calls me, you know, and that's behind the, you know, closed store sort of thing.

If my pets come up and they call me mistress, they can do that. They're my college submissives, but they introduce me as Madame Marguerite. And why do you like Madame? I'm not everybody's mistress.

Why do you like Madame Marguerite instead of? Well, I like Madame for a number of reasons. Number one, it's titled that anybody could use, whether they're instant fetish or not.

Right. Even if they're not into BDSM, they could still call me Madame because you're not dropping my honorific. I don't care who you are unless we're, you know, other women.

But men are calling me Madame. I don't care what the situation is. Okay. And secondly, you know, a Madame is somebody, you know, you know all about

sexual liberation. I think that prostitution should be decriminalized. I think that. Hear, hear.

Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

Amen. Amen. You know, women can do, you know, whatever sex acts they want, even, you know, a lot of submissives.

You know, we have professional submissives. So, you know, a man or miss somebody that's infamously known of, you know, running a house of women. And I see myself very much like a community leader, very much like a

mentor. Yes. Some of you who's, you know, I'm in there, you know, lobbying politicians, you know, talking about these bills.

I won't be surprised if one day I'm involved in writing some of the bills that have to do with sexual freedom. So, you know, I thought that Madame was really appropriate because, you know, every circle that I'm in, I'm sort of taking care of people.

And if people have problems, I'm sort of solving the problems. Right? So, you know, I thought that Madame, that's what a Madame does. That's what a Madame does.

Madame is the first line of defense. It's so valuable. The ladies in the house and the men that walk through the door. And that's very much, I mean, if you know me.

Whether those men are clients or police or looking to whatever, the outside world or PR, you know, media, it's all, or bill collectors. You know, yeah, it's absolutely true.

The Madame. I'm right there in the front. Anybody ever has a problem, you know. You don't have to tell me to help, you know,

ask me to help you take care of a problem. If I know you have a problem, I'm in there doing what I can to solve it. Right, right.

And I love these different explanations. Yes, Lady Victoria. Why do you like to be Lady Victoria instead of Mistress or Goddess or Madame Victoria?

I like the elegance. I like being a lady. That's just my style. I've always been.

I'm not one for yelling or cursing. I be quietly. Yeah. I don't know.

We are not confined by our titles, like somebody who's called himself Lady or Goddess could be a sadist or such, but I think that it reflects our personality,

what we decide to choose. So, yes, I knew I wanted to go with Victoria because of the Queen. I enjoy that.

And it's just when I heard Lady, it clicked. And then of course I Googled to make sure nobody else was using it. Technically, I'm Lady Victoria and I say...

That's very polite of you to Google to make sure you weren't corning in. Yeah, it does. I just love these explanations

and I totally agree with you, Lady Victoria, that it shouldn't pigeonhole you at all. It's just a kind of a springboard to your wonderful tapestry of qualities.

But it is an interesting springboard for, you know, especially the newbie submissives out there to kind of understand this kind of spectrum of different honorifics for the ladies of the mistress team.

Another excellent person to ask is Simone Justice. Simone Justice, my fellow mistress of ceremonies. Hi. Hi.

Welcome. And so you are such a powerful woman. You don't necessarily even use an honorific. You use Simone Justice.

Or do you use mistress more often than the others? I do. When I started out and I was working full-time as a professional dominatrix, I didn't use mistress. But as I've moved more into education,

I dropped it because I didn't want other people to feel that they had to address me as mistress if they were in a class or asking people for me to help them out with their kink journey.

So I dropped it because it didn't feel, it didn't feel as welcoming to newbies and to people who may not also feel that in some way that I was expecting them to be submissive if they,

you know, so I just, I let that go. And I have both. I still have Mr. Simone as my website. And if I'm playing and in a lot of places,

people still call me mistress. But my official title now is just Simone. And when people are working with me, they ask me, how should I address you?

And so I just say, just call me Simone. Because I want to feel, I want to empower people and help them to feel that we're equals and not that there's some hierarchical situation.

And what about the word justice? I mean, I love that. That's so appropriate for this day and age. And maybe any day and age when people want justice,

and of course the Dom administers her own form of justice. Yeah, it can be positive or negative, right? So justice is getting what you deserve or getting that which is fair, you know?

So that's what I like about it. It just, it kind of stands, you know, because domination and BDSM isn't all about pain, right? There's pleasure too.

Right, so you can get the justice can be very pleasurable justice as well. Or that pain that hurts so good. Yeah.

Thanks for asking. Beautiful. Happy Domcon. Happy Domcon.

Happy Domcon. Yes, thank you everybody on the chat. It's good seeing everyone. Thanks for coming out.

Love you all. So much love. Brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, pro-doms and lifestyle kinksters.

All you children of sex and we are all children of sex with a capital X. We may or may not be children of God, Jesus, or Allah, or Buddha, or Brahma,

or even the goddess we don't know. But one thing we know until we start cloning ourselves, we are all children of sex. Welcome to Domcon and my class.

Yes, indeed. It's the Met Gala of fetish Domcon, the Comic Con of Kink, and now that we're virtual,

it's the Ted Talks of BDSM. I also think it's kind of a group therapy for doms and lurkers out there. It's very interesting, you know, Domcon virtual.

And yes, I'm very honored to be the Domcon mistress of ceremonies. So thank you so much, along with my other mistresses, Simone Justice and Wiley. And I am also a sex therapist in private practice.

And I, of course, do a show. That's how most of you know me. And I'm going to take down my boss mask, which I love.

And speak to you. Yes, a lot of you have been on the show, and I'm so honored by that. And Max is my, of course, executive producer.

There is, there is, we've been doing shows and married since 1992. Shows a little longer since 1991. Married 28 years, and yes,

the wedding ring is the kinkiest form of bondage. Absolutely. And I've known mistress Cyan, the alpha head mistress of Domcon since 2004,

which is when she first started Domcon. And here she is on the stage at Sanctuary at one of the Domcons, being applauded by her worshipful minions

and crew and team and Max's filming right there. And, yeah, I got my first adult consensual birthday spanking from mistress Cyan. And I didn't show up to Domcon for a while, though,

but goddess Soma, who I adore, invited me in 2015. And here we are at the mistress T. I think this is in 2016 or 17.

And, of course, I'm teasing a tiny little cock cookie made by mistress Matisse, I believe. And my madam was out, Elo Latex. And, yeah, you know, so many great doms.

Of course, Mia Dark, mistress Mia Dark, Lady Remedy Ann, and Madam Rose here at the mistress T, where I'm wearing the Latex store. And here's my fellow MC, Simone Justice,

where there she is, and she's looking ravishing and red. And goddess Phoenix, Madam Marguerite, and mistress Cyan, and mistress Porcelain, and all at the mistress T.

Gosh, so many wonderful, powerful, and caring and sharing doms at Domcon, who remind me of another wonderful, powerful sharing and caring friend of mine,

named Lana. And Lana's a tease, too. She loves to tease. And she loves to be worshipped.

And she loves to discipline. And she loves to even make the losers feel good that she's in charge. She's just like a lot of wonderful women

who are here at Domcon. Domcon for real and Domcon virtual. But Lana is not a woman. Or even a human being.

Lana is a bonobo. And Lana is my friend. I've known Lana since 1996. And, yeah, let's meet the bonobos through the bonobo way.

Yes, the bonobos are the Make Love Not War chimpanzees. You might have heard about that. But I'm not sure that you've heard all the things that I want to tell you

about bonobos that remind me so much of the ladies that are here at Domcon. And also a lady that I just want to bring up, Goddess Sadie Hawkins, a memory among us,

but such a beautiful goddess holding the bonobo way there at, I think that's Domcon 2016. And gosh, we will always remember

you Goddess Sadie Hawkins and was brutally murdered by actually someone who worshipped her. It just goes to show how valuable

and how dangerous domination work is, all kinds of sex work is. And we need to support each other like bonobos and like Mr. Cyan encourages us to.

So rest in peace and power, Goddess Sadie Hawkins. And thank you, Mr. Phoenix Steel, for commiserating with me about that.

Last year's Mistress T. So back to bonobos, although Goddess Sadie was always very bonobo. But let's just get the basics

of what bonobos know that we don't know. And a few things about what we know about bonobos. So I'm going to use this little chart to talk about bonobos.

This is a chart that was created as a graphic design based on a lecture I did at ASECT. Terry Laban created it.

And yes, it's all about releasing your inner bonobo. And what are bonobos doing, you might ask, at DomCon? Well, there are a lot of animals at DomCon,

first of all, as anybody who's encountered Madame Marguerite, the animal play monarch, I gave her that award.

Actually, she's won it four years in a row at the Dr. Susie Awards. And she brings out all different inner animals in people at the pet show,

which is becoming more of an animal play show. Here it is where we're dedicating to Mistress Ellen. We love Mistress Ellen. And there's puppies and ponies

and all kinds of wonderful pussies and a ferret named Trump. They're not all wonderful, these animals, but they are diversity,

all different types of animals. And one thing about humans is we often forget that we are animals, too.

That's right. We're warm-blooded mammals. We are animals. And because we forget so often

and get into our devices and our philosophies, we often benefit by releasing our inner animal. I think we benefit as individuals.

I think we benefit in our relationships, whether they're vanilla or BDSM relationships. And I think society benefits as a whole, ecologically, ecosexually,

when we release our inner animal. And of course, they can be all kinds of animals. I'm actually releasing my inner leopard. I'm also releasing my inner bonobo,

although I'm more dressed like a leopard or a cheetah. And I release different animals, but I must admit I have a boner for bonobos. Speaking of boners,

I just want to say this is by one of Domkons' great sponsors. This is a bad dragon dog dick. I think it's okay. It doesn't really look dick-like,

but bad dragon, great for fun by yourself or with a partner. And yeah, so bonobos are my favorites, but I think all animals teach us something. But bonobos maybe can teach us most.

And maybe that's because, for one thing, bonobos are very close to us. Genetically, they are over 98% similar to humans in terms of their DNA.

Now, some people don't believe in science these days. And mostly, I don't want to listen to you if you don't believe in science, but I understand in a way.

And all I can say is look into a bonobo's eyes. Just look into those eyes, and you can see a missing link, not the missing link,

but a missing link between humans and the rest of the animal world. I don't say kingdom, certainly not bonobos. They're more of a kingdom,

but we'll say world for now. Because bonobos put us in touch with our animal side because we can see that they're so very close to us. And by the way,

one thing I always ask my class, but I don't know if I can ask questions here. What's the difference between apes and monkeys? Bonobos are apes, humans are apes,

but monkeys have tails. That's right. We have a tail, but not with something long hanging at the back.

Well, most of us don't. And some of us have something long hanging at the front. But bonobos don't have tails either. You know, they're made for sitting just like us.

And they in fact like sitting and looking at their computers just like us. Oh, will the bonobos influence us before we influence them?

I hope they do. So number two, bonobos have a lot of sex in a bonobo sutra of positions.

Yes, let's look at the bonobo sutra here on the Terry Laban graphic drawing. Bonobo sutra, yes. And we of course see a female bonobo

with a crown on stepping, trampling you could say, on another happy bonobo. There's a lot of domination in bonoboville

and I'm talking about the real bonobos now as well as human bonobos. And there's trampling for sure. They walk on top of each other

and I don't know if they're cracking each other's backs or doing it for kinky reasons or probably a little bit of both because they'll often do it before or after sex.

They have a lot of sex. Both quantity and quality. Yeah, they got it covered. They do it in all different positions as well.

They do it a lot doggy style but they love to do it face to face just like kind of two tantric sex practitioners or you could say they look like two people in love

with a lot of hair. That's all. But they're very, very loving and yet they're very polyamorous.

They're swingers. They swing through the trees as well as with each other. They get jealous but not too jealous. They cuckled each other.

Sometimes one is watching and looking a little grumpy but then that one gets to join in later. So there's, you know, a lot of mixing and matching and caring and sharing among bonobos.

These are two females having sex together. That's very common among bonobos is for bonobos to be bisexual. In fact, I would say all bonobos are bisexual

or pansexual. And in fact, the Latin name for bonobo is panpaniscus so they are pansexual. And yes, these are two females

and probably one of their children, I guess, kind of not looking, looking at the camera but definitely aware or maybe just a younger bonobo, smaller,

just waiting around. And by the way, we shouldn't do everything bonobos do, okay? We should be inspired but bonobos are not a blueprint for human behavior.

So even though this might be a younger bonobo there, don't say that is permission for you to have sex with young people around. Obviously not. It's illegal.

It's unethical in human society and we shouldn't imitate everything that bonobos do. But certainly the way that they rub, get back to that picture,

the way they rub their giant bulbous pussies together like that is very exciting. And I guess among human women we call that tribadism.

That's an old-fashioned term. Or scissoring, although they're not exactly scissoring. They're rubbing. They are built very much like us,

certainly more like us than any other primates but they do have these gigantic genitalia. Yeah, it's pretty impressive. But we don't have pussies that are quite that big.

Maybe some porn movies wish we did. But they rub them together and they have tremendous orgasms. Yes, indeed. They fall out of their trees sometimes

with how much fun they have. And this builds female solidarity. Well, we know as kinksters whether we have full-on sex,

which maybe we do, maybe we don't, but just participating in scenes together brings us closer together and helps us to understand how close we are.

And it's the same with bonobos. They understand how close they are by having different forms of sex and BDSM, bonobo style.

And that brings them closer together and helps them to establish female solidarity so that if the males get out of hand, which I'll get into in a minute,

they can stick together. Another form of sex bonobos like that humans do. Bonobo masturbation. Here's a female just touching herself

enjoying the day and just looks like she's just laying back in the field just like a lot of us might like to do or in the bathtub

or in the bed. We may not have a field we can do that in. But bonobos love to masturbate. As do a lot of animals.

It's very common. But bonobos have hands like us. You know, as George Carlin said, if God had intended us not to masturbate,

she would have made our arms shorter, I say to she. But, yeah, bonobos' arms are even longer than ours, so they have no trouble going there

and even going around the bend to be anus for a little anal thinkering. They do that too. I saw them do it at the zoo.

It was almost embarrassing for me and I'm a sex therapist. Imagine all the families watching at the San Diego Zoo. But they do it.

They love to do anal fingering, genital fingering, genital play of all kinds. And BDSM, restraint, slap and tickle. They don't use shackles.

They just use their hands. And they have fun with it. A little spanking, you know, I call it spanking.

The primatologists generally call it slapping. But when it's for fun, I say, hey, it's like spanking, especially if they're doing it on the butt.

So all that hoca-hoca brings about number three. Females rule Bonoboville. Yes, indeed.

Here are a couple females, human females. Riannon Arons of Dominatrixes against Donald Trump, as well as an MFA and wonderful gal.

And we have Shannon, sweet. And of course, they're doing a little banana play. Yes, I am the banana lady. And I love to take the foreskin off of the banana.

Or just pull it down. I don't take it all the way off. And I'm not that much of a dom, but take the foreskin off

and get some banana flavor. I don't want to chew on it because I'll get teeth full of banana. Yes, well, anyway.

So the females rule Bonoboville by ruling over the bananas. And I mean that in more ways than one. They rule over the males.

And they rule over the food. And food is money in Bonoboville. So it's kind of like sex work. I'll give you a banana if you eat at the Y.

And so that's one way they have oral sex is sharing the food. Here's some Bonobos engaging in some hot oral sex. Actually, Lana is the one who's receiving it. And that's a Bonobo named Junior going down on Lana

at the San Diego Zoo. And Lana is definitely enjoying herself. She definitely rewards Junior with some food afterwards. You know, sex work, what we call sex work,

is very common in the animal kingdom. And it's called food for sex or meat for sex, food for sex. Because for most non-human animals, food is the currency. And whether you eat it yourself

or you choose to share it with your friends or family or you choose to exchange it for something else, sex work, food for sex is very prevalent. So if anybody tells you that sex work is a peculiarly human perversion,

you just point to those Bonobos. And the rest of the animals, because most non-human animals engage in this, the difference with Bonobos is that most non-human animals,

it's the male who pays for the sex. The female provides the sex, the male pays. Now, among Bonobos, that sometimes happens, but very often the female pays because the female's got the cash.

That is the bananas. She's got the money. She can pay for the kind of sex she wants, with the creature she wants, with the fellow Bonobo,

a male, female, or, hey, I think some of those Bonobos are gender fluid, actually. A lot of exchange of food for sex, which is what I would call sex work in Bonoboville.

And number four is male well-being. Female Bonobos rule and MILFs rule Bonoboville. The younger ones, they got to say, but the strongest ones are the older ones,

just like Domcon in a way. And yet, it's not all about female power. I mean, the balance to female power is the males enjoy it. If the males don't enjoy it, the females are out of luck.

Let's face it, because the males have fangs and the males are bigger and stronger and they could take down the females if they wanted to. But you know what?

They don't want to. They're happy. They have lower stress levels than their common-chimp counterparts

or certainly than their human counterparts because they're not all trying to rape the females and kill each other and struggle for pleasure or that little bit of pain that is pleasure.

You know, they love to have the females ruling. The females provide them with sex partners. They're kind of like madams, you know, like Madame Marguerite. And the females are very nurturing.

Like Goddess Phoenix was talking about how nurturing she is as a Dom. And some Dom's are mean, and yeah, I got to say some female Bonobos are mean.

I've heard about them biting the balls of some bad Bonobo boys. Probably when a Bonobo boy went after the girlfriend of a Bonobo gal or maybe her son, her little baby.

If a Bonobo boy is so bold as to do that, and stupid, then he will get punished. But he won't get killed. And that brings us to number five,

which is no killing. But Bonobos don't kill each other. In the wild or captivity, we have not seen this so far. Not to say that our crazy plan of the apes

won't twist them around, just like I hope that they enlighten us, we could corrupt them. But so far, somebody puts a gun in their hands

and teaches them how to shoot it. They could. But let's just say they haven't. The Bonobos haven't for hundreds of thousands of years

killed each other. And they do fight, and they're not angels, they're animals like us. But they don't kill each other.

And so even the males, who of course have higher levels of testosterone, maybe more violent tendencies, but when they get jealous

or angry with each other, they fight it out a bit, and then they do something with their bananas called penis fencing.

Right? On guard. Penis fencing, yes. Or they do butt rubbing,

ball rubbing. They have gigantic big ball sacks, and they rub them together. And maybe they have an orgasm,

or maybe they kind of get in the mood for having sex with a female, or maybe they just masturbate later, or masturbate each other,

but they work it out somehow through sex. Now I'm not saying we all have to have sex with our so-called enemies among humans, but acts of kindness, sharing, caring,

and who knows, maybe a little sex. Certainly interracial, intercultural sex I think helps to bring us together. It helps.

And I find that people that engage in BDSM consensually and with some BDSM education, like bonobos, they respect each other. And that does kind of fly in the face

of the old way of thinking, which is the killer ape theory. And the killer ape theory is what supports the military industrial complex,

the prison industrial complex, organized religion for the most part, the Trump-fancy regime, the whole patriarchy, it's not just Trump.

And the whole incel mentality, and the whole idea of a zero-sum game for sex, for the good things in life, competition, you know.

And this killer ape theory was certainly prominent when I was studying anthropology at Yale. And it's one reason I didn't major in anthropology. I decided to major in theater,

because, you know, I like the theater of the mind and the body. It was the only class in which I could get credit for kissing a classmate, so I liked it.

But they taught the killer ape theory, and that we're all killer apes, and we're hopeless, and we're going to kill each other unless we put each other in prison

or make war on each other to stop each other. So I kind of got very discouraged, and it basically said it's natural for the female to be submissive.

And they were going by common chimps and baboons who aren't even apes, they're monkeys. So I found out, though, about bonobos, and I went, wait a second.

Bonobos aren't killers. They make peace through pleasure. And one of the keys to doing this is that the females are in charge.

Females rule Bonoboville. Milfs rule Bonoboville. Femdoms rule Bonoboville. Femdoms are in charge,

and the males are in charge of certain things, like protecting the perimeter from predators and other things, maybe going after food that's difficult to get.

But, you know, it's like the handyman. We always have to call a guy to reach up for something, I don't know. But certainly they're needed

and wanted and adored and loved. And the females are the ones that migrate. The boys stay with their mamas. Yeah, talk about the mommy fetish, yeah.

The females go on to migrate, and then they hook up with other females. They suck up, literally, you know, the younger ones to the older ones,

just like a dom-con. And most important, just like a dom-con, there's a lot of sharing. There's some competition, of course,

that's in us. There's some jealousy, of course. But paramount is the love of the group and the sharing

and the support and the solidarity and the eco-sexuality, the integrating with our environment, the support of each other,

the caring about each other. And that is something that Mr. Sian fosters so effectively and that makes dom-con so sustainable

and could make, I mean, the whole human race sustainable, which is questionable at this time, really. Are we sustainable?

We aren't sure, and maybe not. So we should learn from the bonobos how to be sustainable. And we should, you know,

as doms and as kinksters, help to teach the rest of humanity how we can incorporate those violent, competitive desires

into kinky play, and yet also support each other, you know. And that's a beautiful thing. And it is really exemplified

in the mistress photo where all of the submissives mostly male, but some female and some gender fluid are bowing down

to the powerful femme-doms who are pretty much female, I think, because they're all mistresses, even though dom-con does honor

the male doms as well. So it's a beautiful moment. I always love to gather together with the doms and present our power

because every dom individually is very powerful. And the intimacy, the power of that intimacy

when you're with one dom is irreplaceable. And yet there's even more special power of everyone getting together. Bonobos defy the rule it is jungle.

And it's important to convey this when you are dealing with someone who says, like a client, perhaps, that, oh, you know, I'm a big CEO

and I don't really think women can run companies, but I just like to worship a woman in my spare time as a hobby.

And you just discipline that client and you can say, you know, among bonobos, if the bonobo male gets out of line, yes,

then the females discipline him. That's right. And then they might make him feel good with some sex or with some food.

Bonobo females do tend to have the food and that's why they are so powerful, one of the reasons. Sometimes a mask helps, you know,

to get into the role, whether it's a bonobo mask or right now we're forced to often wear our masks.

That's why I love my boss mask. Just in case you forget who I am, you can read my mask, baby. So, you know, the masks help,

the play helps, and the belief in female power and the goodness for the individual, the couple, the trouble and the group

is important to understand that goodness and how natural it is. Let's talk a little bit about trust and lust because so often in our human society,

we can't combine them. You know, we have lust for someone new who, of course, we don't trust because they're new.

And then as we develop trust, we lose the lust because we feel like we know them too well, you know, and it's a constant human problem

that I find amongst a lot of couples, especially vanilla couples, because, you know, Dom's and other kinds of kinksters

have this way of doing protocol and the protocol helps you to get into the mood. It's a gateway to lust, actually. And the trust helps you to go farther

to push your limits more and more. And because you have trust, you can actually express more lust if you do it in this way.

Bonobos provide an example, too. Dr. Isabel Benk, one of my favorite primatologists, she really studies Bonobo play really well,

and she talks about a Bonobo female who is playing with a Bonobo male. And she's the femdom, and she's got this Bonobo male

kind of by the balls. She's holding onto his testicles, literally. And, you know, that's where the word testicle comes from. Last will and testament.

You put your hands on the Bible, and before Bible times, you know, they put their hands on each other's balls on the family jewels, and that's how they swore.

So she puts her hands on the testicles and he lets her. Now, he's stronger, so if he felt really threatened

or really didn't like it, he could just eat her up, you know, with those big fangs. But he likes it.

She does it at just the right pressure, I guess, and she has just the right amount of power to control him by holding those balls and actually leading him around in the forest,

where they live, the rainforest of the Democratic Republic of Congo. And she leads him around for a little while, and there's a lot of lust in the air

because, you know, it seems like, I don't know, that they've never had sex, or that if they have, it's just very lusty. And there's a lot of trust

because he has to trust her that she's not going to pull him off. And she has to trust him that he's not going to whack her

while she's holding his balls. So there's this trust game going on that turns into a lust game because eventually they do have sex,

you know, the old-fashioned kind. Which actually, bonobos don't spend long on penis and vagina, PIV sex. They're kind of like kinksters in that way.

They love the foreplay and the afterplay and the slap and tickle and all the play and oral sex. And they spend some time on PIV sex,

but not that much. So we have so much in common with the Bonobo BDSM. But how do we release

our inner bonobo is a big question. And of course I have 12 steps for releasing your inner bonobo, and this is not your typical 12-step program.

I understand that a lot of 12-step programs do people a lot of good, but not everybody. And this 12-step program is, I think, good for,

I would say everybody, but you know, I'm a bonobo buff. So I think everybody should practice the bonobo way, especially in these days of civil war.

Yeah, bonobos, yeah, brothers, sisters. We've got some craziness out there. We have to channel or drive our DOM energy into kind of helping the universe.

And some of that is bonobo energy that has to be channeled into, you know, helping because people are killing each other out there.

It's terrible. So let's see about releasing our inner bonobo. Step one is to see the bonobos, which you're doing a little bit

in this little class here, where I'm showing you pictures and there's lots of videos of bonobos. Unfortunately, we're in the corona-pocalypse

right now. So I think most of the zoos are closed and I know that the primate centers are closed and Lola ya bonobo,

the bonobo paradise that my friend Claudine Andre runs is closed outside of Kinshasa. And so we've got to just for now look at them online.

But you know, there's some great videos, including my own videos of bonobos online. And you can see just how close to us they are and how sexual they are

and how the females rule if you can, you know, kind of learn the difference between the males and the females. Number two is be a bonobo.

You know, just let all of this stuff percolate within you. You know, before you release it, feel it, feel bonobo.

And you might want to do this through what I call medibation. I didn't invent that term, but it's a good term. I think Annie Sprinkle might have invented it.

Yeah, Annie Sprinkle, who Max published, he was her first publisher. And Annie talks about medibation as being an idea that you're

masturbating while you're meditating. And of course, just, you know, in a way when you do BDSM you're concentrating on worshiping

the mistress, on being a good submissive on or if you're the mistress, you're concentrating on dominating your submissive and being a good dom.

So these are, this is a form of medibation of being bonobo and feeling the naturalness of your femdom power.

Or if you're male and you're submitting feeling the naturalness of submitting that it's very bonobo and not something crazy and unnatural

like so much of society tells us. Number three, go bonobos in bed. Okay, so well, that could be bed, that could be the dungeon.

Let's try to get some of this bonobo energy into our sex lives. And of course, bonobos have sex like we do, mostly face-to-face, and they do

a lot of this BDSM stuff, these trust-lust games I've been talking about. So go for it. Be inspired by what the bonobos do

and do it yourself. And if you don't have a partner right now in the corona apocalypse, do it yourself, by yourself.

Or, you know, you can convey this stuff through the internet. We're all learning about our virtual capabilities, aren't we?

And, you know, we can do it. Bonobos like computers, too. They communicate through computers, so I don't know, it's warping all of us,

but here we are. So number four. Outer course is in. And of course, yeah, you know,

we love intercourse, PIV, we love pegging, we love all kinds of penetrative sex, but

the non-penetrative sex, the tickling, the stroking, the massaging, the spanking, the shackling, the mind games,

all of that is outer course. Anything we do through the dom con sphere is a kind of outer course,

because we're not inside of each other, I mean, except mentally and spiritually. So, outer course is in. It's also very safe sex.

Food and sex is number five. Combine food and sex. And as I said, food is

sometimes bananas. Or any kind of food that you combine with sex, dinner in a movie, you know, and sex.

Or just, you know, hot fruit in each other's orifices. Or, you know, using a zucchini

for penetration, pegging. Or you could just say food is money, isn't it? I mean, that's the way it is

in the jungle world is food is money. So, sometimes you give food

or money for sex. And that's natural, that's great. It should be legal. Okay.

So, number six. Explore the opposite sex within you. That's right. The so-called opposite sex.

The sexes aren't really opposite. Men are not from Mars. And women are not from Venus. We're all from the same beautiful, wild,

sexual planet Earth. And actually, we're far more alike than we're different, you know. Bonobos emphasize our similarities

unlike common chimps that like to put the females over here in the subservient position and the males in the dominant position

but some males get killed. So, it's not so great to be a male among common chimps or humans. But Bonobos, yeah, the females are in charge

but the males get respect. The males are treated well. All the females are treated pretty well. Even the so-called lowliest

of the females. It's practically socialist, but not totally socialist. I guess it's kind of like

Denmark, right? Anyway, okay. So, explore the opposite sex within you. Meaning, bring out your masculine

side if you're so-called female. Bring out your feminine side if you're so-called male. There's all kinds of ways you can do this from cross-dressing and trans

to, and I'm not talking about a real total transformation although that's possible too. But maybe just a vacation

from the gender you usually are can be very rejuvenating. And Bonobos do this all the time. So, number seven.

Make peace through pleasure. I've been talking about this the whole time. This is about make love not war. This is about channeling

those violent impulses into helping each other. Yes, and not hurting each other. And holding on,

you know, we do have dangerous jobs here. We sex therapists and doms. And in a way, doms are sex therapists,

as I've been saying throughout this weekend. And I gave a shout out to God of Sadie Hawkins

earlier who was murdered brutally. It's a very dangerous job that we have. And so we have to support

each other in practicing peace through pleasure with a little bit of pain. And let's see.

So, eight. Ethical hedonism. That's the philosophy that I had actually before I even heard about Bonobos. I call it ethical hedonism

because hedonism is about pleasure and pain, about feelings which is really what we as animals are all about.

We can philosophize and analyze, but it comes down to our feelings and we should have good feelings.

We should have positive feelings whether they involve pleasure or pain. And we should be ethical about them.

That means consensual, number one, but it means many things. Respect is not just confined to consent and

that's the subject of a whole other class. But be an ethical hedonist. All right. And

number nine is be bonobo friendly. And that means not just with people you have sex with

or your kink partners, but everybody. And DomCon really helps us to learn to

communicate. You know, sometimes Dom's are very isolated only with their own submissives and this helps us to communicate with other

Dom's and learn to be bonobo friendly, you know, respectful and sharing, caring,

all those good qualities. And that helps you know, if you're a single person, you know, it always helps even if you're not

interacting with someone that you would want as your partner to just practice being friendly so that when someone you want as your partner

comes along you'll be smooth as silk with being friendly. Yeah, so

number ten, create your own bonoboville or join one. You know, DomCon is a bonoboville. We have our own bonoboville

here in bonoboville, Los Angeles. And we invite you to join us too. You know, that's one great thing about the internet.

You can be a member of different kinds of social media. And we're also offering free picture ads to all

the kinksters if you say you're from DomCon you get a free ad for whatever kind of bananas you want or give.

And yeah, support your community, support DomCon in any way you can.

Number eleven, swing through life. Yes. Swing through life, I think that's especially important

in the Corona apocalypse. You know, everything is topsy-turvy. So it behooves us to be able

to swing and if we fall to land on our feet or at least, you know, make our hands flexible enough

that we can bounce off our hands if we land on our hands. Don't land on your back and break it. You know, learn to adapt.

Learn to be flexible. Influent. Let's see. Fluid. That's why I love

gender fluidity. It's very bonobo. But there's all types of fluidity that are needed right now certainly with all the changes

that humanity and the world are going through. Some of the changes are really bad. So many people out of work violence in the streets

police violence people, civilian violence and yet there's beautiful things going on people interacting

in such intimate ways through the internet and of course nature is getting to wake up and come out and getting a breather

from all the human activity. So that's a positive in a way. Number twelve, speaking of nature and

eco-sexuality and ecology. Number twelve is kind of the most important save the bonobos. This is why marvelous

Madame Marguerite gave me the best animal activist award I think is because I am

constantly working to save the bonobos and I ask you to donate to some of the best bonobo

conservation groups such as Lola Ya Bonobo which has a sanctuary for bonobo orphans out in the Congo

and the bonobo conservation initiative that helps to protect

the bonobos from being shot by bush hunters out in the Congo and it is of course illegal

for these bush meat hunters to shoot bonobos. They are a protected species in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

The second largest rainforest in the world is where they live. But there's a lot of people that are coming in from other places

or who disobey the law or are hungry. They should have free McDonald's out there or something.

They are looking for meat and they shoot bonobos and it's terrible. So bonobo conservation initiative

helps the local people because this rainforest has a lot of people in and out of the rainforest and they have great respect

for the bonobos. They call them our brothers and sisters and the Magandu people mostly.

They help to protect the bonobos and also bonobo conservation initiative run by my friend Sally Cox

helps to bring orphans to Lola Ya Bonobo which nurtures the orphans run by my other friend Claudine Andre

and shout out to Dr. Brian Hare and Vanessa Woods who work with Lola Ya Bonobo

and have written a wonderful new book of course I've talked to Vanessa about the bonobo handshake but their new book is about being

bonobo friendly and how friendliness has helped both bonobos and dogs. So anyway help those organizations

as well as the bonobo project run by my friend Ashley Stone who helps to promote the cause of the bonobos.

Bonobos are being hunted it's terrible and they get COVID-19 they can die from it

just like humans. So far I don't think there's been an outbreak but there could be one. They're being very protected by their protectors

but there could be one and so they need your help. I do want to just kind of leave you with a few thoughts.

One thought besides saving the bonobos is releasing your inner bonobo because I do believe that humans

have two sides essentially. I think we're closer to bonobo but we have our Trumpan Z side right

this is my great Trump toilet brush comes in a box that shows Trump as poop. Anyway

yeah we have that side and I don't get me wrong I do like common chimps and gorillas and orangutans

even orangutans the orange ones I love them all but I got a boner for bonobos and I

would like to encourage people to bring out their bonobo side their sharing, caring, peace through pleasure

femdom side that supports the me too movement but is me too plus because it also supports male

well-being and I have a few little kind of comments here first of all from mistress cyan

yes we miss Sadie and thank you mistress cyan for joining with me in this little tribute to Sadie Hawkins

who I just loved and I had on my show a couple of times and I spoke with

goddess phoenix steel about her and she loved the bonobo way and obviously was very much

loved by even our great alphadome mistress cyan and many many more

and let's see spike says congratulations mistress diamond blue says congratulations Dr. Suzy

says bonobos are amazing creatures that humans should model not just their sex lives after but their general

way of life yes indeed their general way of life and of course their general way of life is very much affected

by their sexuality it's all kind of linked and they're like what we call lifestyle

it's funny how mistress cyan brings together lifestyle kinksters and prodoms and in a way

bonobos do that too they're all in the lifestyle and a lot of them are pro in the sense that

you kind of pay them by offering a nice banana or some kind of food

which is as good as a hundred dollar bill and mistress jay says where do we

access the free ad opportunity very good question for bonobo bill that's bonobo bill

dot com and that is where you can access it you can also give us a call

we love to hear from you actually whether you want private therapy or find out about bonobo bill ads or maybe even find out about

being on the show and eventually we'll have audiences again and you can come to the show but right now we are doing zoom

so the phone number for all of that is six two six four six one five nine five zero that's six two six

four six one five nine five zero and gosh mistress jay also says

you are magnificent wow mistress jay thank you so and mistress cyan

I'm just so touched and honored she says thank you for a great presentation and it ought to be

great I've been doing it five times now I think this is my fifth time but it is different and I've always enjoyed interacting

with the people in the audience and people that I bring along with my crew but we're in the corona apocalypse so this is a little more

stationary and maybe also a little more intimate so there's lots of pros and cons

as there is to anything in life but I just want to thank mistress cyan again for my little award that I received

a couple years ago as a guest of honor at Domcon and also for giving me the great honor of

being mistress of ceremonies along with Simone justice and mistress Wiley I'm just so thrilled

and I'm so thrilled that you could all join me here in my class

in the Domcon sphere yes it's great and I want you to if I have any power

over you with you I would be happy for you to get the bonobo way you can get

the book on Amazon I think it's free if you're a prime member to get the Kindle at this point

you can get it free you can't get it free you can write to us through bonobo and we'll send you a Kindle version

free now to get the version in print and you can get it signed you gotta pay for us

for that and pay for us yeah but also a portion goes to I got my ring stuff

okay to a portion goes to help the bonobos we support these conservation organizations

with your fees so you know you're helping to support the bonobos when you support

bonoboville and the Dr. Susan Block Institute when you get therapy to release your inner bonobo you are helping the real bonobos

to escape extinction because they're highly endangered I also want to remind you

as Mr. Cyan did to vote right and voting is very important

I can't tell you who to vote for I mean I'm voting blue right down the line I know the blues are not

blameless and yet you know they're the lesser of two evils and

so that's what I'm doing and that's why I'm wearing blue with my leopard I'm releasing my inner animal

and my inner blue so I would encourage you that picture shows me with Mistress Tara and the dominatrix is against Donald Trump signing

a people to vote at Domcon and I got some more sort of comments that I

would love to share with you thank you Dr. Suzy from my fellow Mistress's Ceremony Simone Justice thank you

and great show as always Goddess Phoenix thank you for joining us once again she was a great part of the Nobo Way 2018

and just a great part of our lives I love to Goddess Phoenix Queen Leila you are amazing thank you Queen Leila

you're amazing for saying so thank you Queen Leila and Kinky Barbie Dom thank you for sharing your research with us

wow that's a nice sort of academically spun comment I appreciate that and I love to share my research

with you I love to share my you know outfits with you my hats my finger

floggers by Juxley and thank you so much to my Bonoboville crew thank you all go vote Black Lives Matter

go forth and go Bonobos see you around the Domcon sphere alright Dr. Suzy

you're now inside the room oh the Domcon sphere I feel like I'm entering the Domcon disco right now

this doesn't light up maybe I need to where are we talking about my pineapple thing

she's got her fucking whip out they're fucking whip out oh look at Goddess Phoenix I hear the whip

wow that's so beautiful oh yeah the fiber optic I got one too good girl

is that what I heard yes now she's got her fucking look what you fucking started fucking whip out girl

whoa oh now we see it in the dark this is the after party

at Domcon virtual 2020 so we're not competitive or anything right

well we are but we're more collaborative where

mistress precious well obviously why don't you get out of your room I don't

I charge for my performance we should be able to pay tribute I take every opportunity

to make some money like I'm selling this video right now

I have all of your addresses I'm selling them I'm selling precious this underwear right now

wow work it sex work it dedicated precious

we got to let our fucking hair down and do this this is my kangaroo bullwhip that I just lost

it's somewhere in my dungeon you're sexy yeah I have no idea what the last one was

I love that whip precious look look this one is

whoa it's a baby what kind of pacifier does he have what kind of pacifier do you have baby

what's in that is it like a penis pacifier or like a real baby pacifier I don't know if baby can hear me

or he just you know is gagged on a pacifier under gag order like our

here he's under gag order with a water pistol right now well everybody's smacking

things I think I'm going to smack from because I don't know anybody else to smack I'm getting

my political anxieties out this is for the corona apocalypse

extending much longer than any other country and this is for signing sex defosta and this

is for lying about your sex worker fetish and this is for

starting a fucking civil war in this country for presidents you know what

my performance would have worked better if I would have worked just this on that fucking thing and forgot all the other shit

and I just wore this yeah that's hot totally

I'm trying to dress up on the phone I'm just going to wear what I want well you're wearing that great body here have some bleach

look dickies almost fell off it almost fell off again

that little mushroom mario's heart almost fell off a little bit

goddess phoenix you're so hot trying to fix it I need one of my vendors to tell my bullwhip

warm yuck I love this but

it's cool once it hits the heart hmm

if you got a warm heart what even more are we going to give you some longer floggers I've got a scenic flogger

sales pitch I've ever seen for those I really want those now I think I'm going to be short ones down I'm not hitting myself in the face every minute

so part of the profession here part of the profession here yeah

you must hit yourself in the face with the whip use 150 times before you cut it you should sell these things

really you've done enough charity work these are amazing and they are so you

goddess phoenix oh yeah got Mr. Sian hello

got Precious yes well Precious is the saleswoman who was

Precious should sell goddess phoenix fiber optic whips new or new

I need a new cracker I hurt my whip now large crack Mr. Sian was assumed

but it's not down to the if Mr. Precious this is Mr. Jennifer Mr. Jennifer

with the whip I see the whip she's cracking it go Victoria it's your birthday

I love it or something with those things I have to bring out the whip I think this should be called the whip part

great take I think if I bring out the whip whip it good I don't want to play hoarding

instead of a dance party too we can have a whip party hey Mr. Jennifer how are you they're most bring out the whip

crack the whip crack it we should get Mr. Sian out here with a snake tail whip

he was in a plane kind of a new kind of play party it's a play whip party

get your heart out hollywood squares we're John Pines circles this is important right

this is going to ring a dragon tail dragon tail do you see that

I have custom made life I'm going to play with the bull that's inside changing outfits now

Victoria changed outfits she's going hot yeah I love it

Genesis for Sian I could just sit right here and just do it out of this first one vlog

Sian's in the lobby entertaining everybody needs to bring out the whip she's come over here and entertain who does

Sian I'm leaving I hit myself ow

bull whip issue what only class again where you talk about co-domination

you didn't mention branding again no you did not mention it you didn't talk about it

this was not that type of fun no we don't we're asking our brains ourselves

we're all stuck in our fucking house in our fucking houses that's what I like to hear let's stay in our fucking

houses fuck oh that's not what you meant the business is long enough

to stand what that part is about so

I'm going to teach it that wasn't me not an effective mask this is a play mask

for your role playing that you're wearing a mask feel the holes we all know about holes don't be brothers and sisters

you bet ya well lots of good things come from holes

or go into holes yeah this is for instance is in this hole

and jesus goes back in and out jesus rises jesus jackhammer

yes indeed you know that's a nice hole that's a vulva puppet this is a nice hole

yes has a nice hole these are not nice holes

well I mean they look nice but you know they don't work as a mask you gotta do this

what do I have here I'm supposed to have a turtle another I feel like I'm dancing in the dark

but that's okay it's all part of the dom com sphere sometimes you interact

and sometimes you just yourself sometimes you just lurk and

watch don't you like to watch I know you like to watch keep watching

I like to watch too so you know I'm kind of half watching use my bonobos

closer to me goddess phoenix really is amazing can you hear me baby

you can okay and is your name baby do you speak baby

or you just kind of spit like or drool like a baby yeah what does that say

dadas dadas boy dadas something boy little boy

dadas little boy well you look like a pretty big boy so you must be little in you know certain areas

I don't know dadas little boy so I'm just assuming there's some littleness somewhere there

but you know you do look like that pacifier is made of chocolate and champagne

and mother's milk it just looks so delicious the way you suck on it like that wow

have you been sucking on it all through DomCon? really from the beginning Friday

and Saturday and Sunday and you've been sucking on your pacifier hello Harley what do I have to do

hello well she's very intent on something oh yes maybe she's going to dance

maybe she's going to put on some music I can hear you now oh you can hear me that's what you were doing

I was asking if you could hear me and then you looked like such a DJ I thought you suddenly decided to put on music but you turned me on

so here we are Harley Havoc you're getting your send off into some major surgery

I was listening and I was impressed I've been through surgery a couple of times

I survived and I'm better for it so I believe that you will be too and I believe

too that you're getting all kinds of great pain management

tips for maximizing the pleasure and pain and keeping people off your neck who aren't

supposed to be there yeah unfortunately I can be too nice about that sometimes my good friends will be like oh no I'm really good

at neck massages and I let them do it too hard wow

yeah some people don't know their own strength or they do it with rings on and kind of grab

or fingernails or something or brass knuckles well the thing is I can take really hard massages elsewhere but my

not your neck that's a curve and it seizes up so well you have a beautiful neck

and soon you'll have a healthy neck it is it's very swan like and it rises up

from your chest in a very graceful way and surrounded by you know cascades of blonde hair and

little intellectual glasses are those real glasses yes so

that's cool it took like three weeks to get in because COVID but I can finally see at night

again when I'm driving right okay you're driving you're not going to drive yourself

to the hospital are you no I'm not allowed to drive for at least a month after surgery oh right okay well that too

so somebody's gonna pamper you yes yes

and is that in a kinky way in addition to being helpful I mean obviously help is the most important thing

but no but it's funny I've seen online that doctors are like oh you can have sex like the next day

after surgery just like lie there when you're back and don't do anything else wow lie there and no deep throating

and don't be on top right wow right after well that's good news

I wouldn't advise it but it's good to know that they think that's okay it's I'm impressed

usually they don't care if you don't have sex for the rest of your life but I feel like it's more like oh make sure your husband

can get sexually fulfilled I know you just had surgery but you can lie there anyway yeah you think it's that kind of

Maribel Morgan of the 1950s but maybe maybe in some places

that's still the idea right middle America you got to satisfy that husband you know well I mean

you know I kind of think you do too but I guess I think you got to do it on your own terms which wouldn't be having sex

right after surgery I don't think I think you just want to do some good strong pain killers and relax

so we also have a bound sissy that wants to talk to you hi bound sissy

what do you bound up in is that you oh he's muted I can't hear you oh this is the baby

yeah I think but he's also a sissy bound sissy bound sissy

so right now he's bound by his gag order with a pacifier oh what does the shirt say though

the shirt says dad does little boy oh and since he looks big all over

I'm guessing there's something little that we can't see no I've done mommy baby role play

and like I wasn't sure how I would feel with me since I'm still technically young but actually I took

it took to it right away and it's one of my favorite forms of play just being in that kind of motherly nurturing role

a dummy mommy mm-hmm usually very much a mommy a dummy mommy and you know

I mean not that it's a good thing to have real children when you're very young but you know girls do

women do have children pretty young you know especially reality stars and stuff but it's good to have children

but I was the eldest out of all the cousins growing up by like six years so I was constantly babysitting

babysitting as the mommy fantasy is the baby it's very related to the mommy

and the babysitter and you know um MILF next door

they're all variations and yeah I mean usually it's older women I guess that play out those roles

in sex work and in life but younger women can if you're precocious and you learn

from the MILFs in your life I happened to fill that role since there was a lot of um more of like

the harsher dominance at the time that I started looking into being more dominant at my role at sanctuary and a lot of the dominant women

enjoyed more of like the yelling approach and the strict mistress approach and it

felt unnatural for me to do those things I am an actress and I can do those things for a limited amount of times but as

myself I prefer to be more nurturing and instead of being I prefer to speak

the best way to dominate and to enjoy kink of any kind whether you're being dominant or submissive is to do

what you feel what you want you know and yeah it's okay sometimes to try things I think that you

might not want and then you find out oh I do like this I didn't realize there's definitely a place

for that maybe two or three times but if you keep not liking yelling then don't be yelling you know at first

first you get five million dollars five million dollars to yell then okay all yell yes exactly

but if I'm going to be doing something long-term with someone and seeing them all the time it's it hurts my soul to take on a role

24-7 where I'm constantly yelling and screaming and being evil right so do you actually I mean in a way

any dom that's maternal is kind of a dummy mommy like the mill for the you know even a younger woman if she takes

on that kind of nurturing role but do you ever really dom mom a adult baby like one with

you know the pacifier like our friend bound sissy has possibly a diaper

I had at least two clients repeats that would come in specifically to see me for baby

sophistication role play and and they just wanted to like cry and he held and

told them that mommy said that they were a very brave boy and yeah definitely brought it out

aside of myself that I was I was happy to find and you know it's so great I mean because so many

people in our society would talk about the perverted aspects but it's it's so real it's so natural

it's so needed it's so healing it's real therapy that is needed

in this world of confused and tortured and torn men and women but

I guess mostly men yes yes I was actually

someone's first experience with wearing a diaper and he got so into that

and did he mess his diaper no we don't we don't do scatter pee at the dungeon

that's good to know you just play at that I'm sure if you did like a private rental there like you can do

what you want in there don't make a mess of course like clean up after yourself oh my goodness there must be kind of a medical room if you get a private

rental room with something that you bring in but if you are sessioning with someone on staff then

there are house rules that you must follow and a lot of those could be with like no fluid exchange no

oh I get it that's a messy thing penetration is still criminalized

and yeah it's a messy thing too just pissing because I don't know if that's criminalized

I mean I'm just going to say I peed on Trump with the dominatrix

against Donald Trump and mistress Tara but there was no penetration involved but it was very messy and we had to put out a big tarp

like we were in a swimming pool and he was kind of like a baby he was definitely a baby and of course Trump is a big

big baby aren't you yes and so you know it all kind of fit together

and yeah but it's messy it's it's extra

so but it's an awful lot of people that are into it and you know it's a great time

right now if you who are out there listening in and you feel like yeah it's messy I don't know if I want to do that in real life

now's the time to explore it in a virtual way where you can explore the ideas

and the stories and the fantasies of being a baby being taken care of

so firmly but gently by my

mistress mommy here Harley dummy mommy with the mommy glasses right

mommy's wear glasses I do love these glasses for multi purposes I am a switch also by trade

and I wanted something that would not be completely juvenile or make me look too

on the opposite end of the spectrum no you could be a school girl in addition to a teacher so you know it depends I guess

but actually if I look at what's under your hair is that a bra or a little top or something

yeah it's a dress but definitely wow hubba hubba definitely clubby club

I don't know that kind of contrast with the glasses that doesn't look like something either a student or a teacher would wear to school no

except the college yeah that's so cool I love the way Dom's are such

fashion creatives and I do feel it's the Met Gala of fetish

DomCon and the Dom's often set the fashions for the celebrities to follow

if I can oh yeah with the shoes nice very nice Harley

Havoc do you reek Havoc do you create Havoc I know it's spelled differently but still

actually the way I spell it is takes away from an actual spelling of a real last name that means hot

so HIV, IK it's just a Havoc coincidence Harley while being

besides from the obvious Harleen Quinzel which actually the glasses make me look more like but

I used to cosplay her 10, 12 years ago before Suicide Squad was a thing

and I was already called Harley by multiple people so I just kind of kept my name that was already there and Harleen

actually also means bunny fields bunny fields I'm a bunny and a hawk

you're definitely a bunny yeah and a hawk, I can see the hawk as well and

where are you from originally California my whole life you're a California girl

nice and can you tell us where you raised in a particular faith of any sort

I was Christian up until I was 20

two-ish wow that's yesterday I wish I was raised Christian

actually my family has been Christian since like the 1200s they recently did like that and traced it back

British England took back to the 1200 they've been Christian yikes

the round heads wow so that's amazing so what I decided to do a few days ago was join the satanic temple

so the line continues to go beyond one faith into another that are actually very related

and use a lot of the same symbology have you seen my Jesus Jackhammer dildo oh my gosh that's amazing

yes made by divine interventions and it's it's really quite effective

it's a good size and looks very authentic this one is in

wine color and then I have another one in gold

and I don't sell them I should actually and they're not on the social media they're just amazing though

they also make a baby Jesus butt plug and a Buddha and mother Mary and death

but I like the Jesus Jackhammer best so evocative and

you know you swallow it or use it and say Jesus is in me now

anyways do you your work secret is it secret from

the people you grew up with right there's a couple close friends of course

maybe now a few more I don't know like my pictures and videos have been out there for years and there was

one casual friend that found me on facebook

and that wasn't a big deal either but mostly I try not cross reference pictures

so if I use a selfie for this work I don't post that same selfie

on my vanilla accounts you know a lot of people realize that

you can back trace pictures you can download a picture and upload it to google and be like where else is this picture located

so don't do that I can't hear you anymore you went away lost audio

no audio okay here I am so I don't know why that was

but I'm not going to try to figure it out but yeah there's a lot of layers to life

and you can't tell everybody everything and sometimes it's not any other business

and you know as long as you're being an ethical person you should be entitled to your privacy

so I always respect that on the end I have to say as you get older

you have to make some choices and you decide I'm going to be this now I feel

I can explain this I can defend this I can be this fully or not

or you feel like you know what that was a phase and that was really interesting and I learned a lot and now I want to have 12 kids and you know marry

the minister or be minister I don't know so I guess yeah you're still

exploring and learning well it's definitely not a phase for me I started self educating about BDSM

when I was about 15 and I first learned the term BDSM I was like what does that mean oh I'm not the only one that fantasizes

about being tied up and spanked and didn't even really

I wasn't even really interested in having sex yet at that point I was more interested in doing those things did you have any favorite characters

like in television or movies that would get into bondage situations yes I used to read

a lot of fan fictions about my favorite characters and that was definitely a theme so

I've been into this basically my entire adult life and then some but

I do have my partners encouraging me to like one day just stop giving a fuck about if people find out

what I do they'll probably never speak to me again but it won't be a big loss you know well I don't know

I would second guess that a bunch of them already stopped speaking to me because I said I was against Trump and that was enough for them to disown me

wow so this would be the rest of them would be gone hmm well

like I said politics is one thing in a way that's private too but in another way we gotta

speak our minds about what we feel is good for society but our private life you know you could

I could certainly see you keeping that I mean it's just based on your skill girl how you can do that with the different pictures I couldn't do it

but you know some people do and I am amazed at the people that pretty much lead pretty successful

double lives you know so I sometimes I wonder if one or two of them haven't stumbled across something

and just either keep it to themselves or shit talk me behind my back but well yeah

you're probably a bit of a celebrity and you're pretty little community back there or wherever

you know I'm sure you're the talk of the town and in some way you would be anyway because you're so pretty

but because you're also a harlot in some fashion that they might not know the specifics but they know you got that

blonde hair and I don't know they just probably talk about you so deal with it

you're a goddess you know and that I mean I feel that Jesus and all the

gods and goddesses are compatible but a lot of people don't they don't

they think it's either my god or your god yes well after I recover

from surgery I have a lot of thinking to do about like just this path I'm on and the career and some things happened recently

where if it comes out what I do in my family it won't be quite as detrimental to my financial situation

anymore so if they find out and never speak to me again it won't be the end of the world

well you know having had some surgery myself I was and not plastic surgery by the way this was life saving

shit okay I understand that you know you think after but really

you're going to be thinking about it maybe not during the surgery where they'll completely put you out but as you're waking up

you'll be thinking about yourself you'll be coming back to life and realizing in some epiphanic way what's important

it will because you'll have to fight a little bit to come back to life not a lot it's not like your life is in danger but still

they kind of put you into a death state and then they bring you back and you come back and you know

it's like you get a new lease on life at least for a little while sometimes it wears off but I feel like mine has always stayed

with me and always kept me focused on what I think is important which isn't necessarily what everybody else thinks

right but I can't wait to talk to you again when you come out of this and I I really hope the best for you

and we're going to put your go fund me on our our blog that we do after this

about dog con oh yeah oh yeah you know there's so many things out there to fund but you are

certainly a worthwhile cause thank you I can't wait to be

a stronger presence in the scene after after all this is done 2021 you will and mr. cyan can also help you

she's been through some health challenges certainly a warrior woman yeah turns you into a warrior

that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger right and all those things so wow what's going on over here

we are in the dom con after party social but I think we've gotten into just

what I said when I first came in here and everyone was like oh you have surgery this week right and I was like well I feel like I'm thinking over the

after party talking about myself and my surgery and everyone's like no no no but everyone is interested just I mean this has been

in many ways dom therapy and therapy and people are interested in their health and even though

everyone's everyone goes through neck problems and maybe not as severe as yours definitely not but at the same

time we understand and we empathize you know so it's it's dom therapy

for everybody and maybe even for some of the subs out there you know they love to hear about personal stuff of doms and subs

you know it's like a little window like people magazine for kink right

now I do notice a lot of my um repeat clients love to actually hear how I am doing in my life

like it definitely makes them feel closer to me and I to them and they want you to be a human being I mean there's some

aspects of fetishizing that are objectifying but there's also another side which is you share

something with them that they probably can't share with anyone else so you're very precious to them yeah it makes me sad that I can't

see them more I've had a few of them try and reach out and ask me if I'm doing sessions and I like if it was just my safety

at stake when I'm not close to surgery that's one thing but I do live in a household full of people and they all have

family members that that are like cancer survivors or things like that and I would feel terrible if

I somehow got COVID and passed it to someone who couldn't recuperate

you know well if you have the the courage I guess you'll do some

video some vlogs about your recovery and share that and that'll

help your clients continue to feel close to you as they should and as we all have trouble with that

in the corona apocalypse it's it's crazy time

it's been pretty easy to be responsible when the government was actually giving us enough unemployment

but now that has gone away yeah that's so I'm not sure how that's going to play out over the next couple months

I worry about all those people in similar situations to me that maybe have less of a support system and

what they're gonna do well a lot of them are in the streets right now because it's already happening there's

tremendous unrest I mean over situation the economy

people not getting that second check a lot of sex work establishments didn't even

get a bail out you know didn't even couldn't get a loan like a lot of businesses did there's so much unfairness

and at the same time you know wealthy people have gotten like millions of dollars and so

yeah it's a tough time and it's worse than a tough time it's a time when people

in the streets hurting each other police are hurting the citizenry Trump tries to blame it on Biden but it's happening under his watch

so okay and meantime I just feel that it's more important than ever that

us femdom you know preachers for

way we can you know for our own livelihoods as well as for the livelihood

of humanity and the planet we convey our message of femdom power and pleasure

put a little bit of pain and nurture you know because the planet needs it

and people pay for it so you know agreed I'm terrified what's gonna happen in November all my friends

are like no there's no way he's going to get reelected again and I'm like I

it's hard to say and I know what I and I practice hypnosis

and kind of acting like I know what's gonna happen but I can't say I really know what's gonna happen

this country is so topsy turvy all I can say is you gotta get out there and vote and I'm gonna figure that if

you're tuned in right now you are kink positive you are lgbtq positive you are peace

through pleasure with a little bit of pain not shooting people positive and that you

you know you get out there or do it by mail make sure it goes through we've got to overwhelm

the situation with votes and no the thing that we're voting for is not the best thing

it's just the lesser evil but we're in such a point we did four years ago too and

here we are I know I know and that's what's scary about it is we did that the polls said they were with us

and we thought that we were cool but we weren't so this time too there's a lot of people that are kind of complacent

that he's just so nuts and we're just gonna clean the toilets with him and

time there are SUVs driving through the streets

of Los Angeles right now like ISIS except they're not ISIS they're Trumpers

and they have guns and flags and they're coming to town into a very blue

part of the country and yeah it's kinda crazy but it's going through

and we have our personal things you have your surgery and I gotta celebrate

Anna's birthday soon and so life goes on you know life goes on

DomCon goes on, DomCon has brought us so much pleasure and cohesion and this great conversation with you Harley

I mean I wanna have you on my show but I feel like I've already done a bedside chat with you but I should have you on again I was just thinking that I was like

oh I feel like we're already having our we are, we're basically doing our pre-your surgery show is what we're doing

and because I wouldn't have had we wouldn't have had the chance to do it before your surgery so you're a very fascinating

young lady that can play a dummy mommy in the right circumstances and

and a wonderful member of the sanctuary family and we love the sanctuary family

we're the Bonoboville community and you know we just feel very connected like like we're countries

with a peace treaty for sure and more than that that we really are allies allies in the

most sexual and kink repression and general you know

evil so we love Mr. Sian and Goddess Phoenix and Madame Marguerite and Lady Remini Ann and so many others

that we met tonight Lady Victoria or actually all weekend and you and you're such a wonderful discovery

great surgery good surgery you'll have it enjoy the drugs I know I did okay

I think it's been wonderful chatting wonderful chatting I think I'm gonna go have my party and I'm not sure what's happening but thank you

Mr. Sian thank you my fellow MC's Simone Justice and Mistress Wiley

thank you so much everyone especially I don't know especially everyone but Madame Marguerite I love you thank you

okay so I'm gonna just have a little private party now have a little private party now

but happy dom con everybody cheers to that I drank my whole drink

but you know there's more okay well thank you so much my beloved Bonobo

Ville crew thank you so much you were great thank you for well you're part of the crew now

I'm thanking my crew here who you know we're navigating the ins and outs of the social sphere

this is not social distancing at all this is social finessing let me just say it's physical distancing

but in a way you are socializing on just a new level a virtual level that is as

as social as anything but different