Date: 12/24/2011 No A-list porn stars, best-selling authors or champion wrestlers on this one. No, for Xmas Eve & the 5th night of Hanukkah, we make it a “Family Show.” But when I say “family,” I don’t mean Focus on the Family (and I doubt they would approve); I mean our very own Speakeasy den of denizens, artists and multi-talented resident perverts—the Bonobo Gang. From high-stakes Hanukkah candle-racing to a Nativity scene presented with Divine Interventions dildos and a Baby Jesus butt plug, we honor the winter holiday traditions in our own heart-warmingly debauched way. I dress up as Dr. Suzy Claus in red bikini trimmed with white faux fur and a matching micro-mini garter skirt from Adult Play Parlor, and Tasia is my feral reindeer pulling in a bag of sex toys, also from Adult Play Parlor, with something for everyone in the Speakeasy family, almost all of whom are wearing Santa hats, like a platoon of depraved elves. After some impressively naughty Agwa salt licking and a fascinating lesson in the Saturnalian sexual history of Xmas–did you know that Santa Claus represents the penis coming down the chimney (which is the vagina)?–the show explodes in a beautiful Hitachi-propelled Orgasm for Peace on Earth, Pleasure for All. Amen…and Awomen!

by Dr. Susan Block Easter Bunnies and Passover Kinksters gather together in my Womb Room to celebrate the erotic, often pagan roots of the Judeo-Christian Rites of Spring. Officiating in my priestly robes, tallit, cross (given to me by a devout Catholic sex therapy client), Star of David (woven for me by Twin Towers inmates from the threads of their prison uniforms), “Lox et Veritas” g-string, “Love Me, Kiss Me, Marry Me” thigh highs and Easter Bunny ears, I, the Irreverend Dr. Susan Block, channel the spirit of The Great Bonobo Spring Easter Bunny Alien Matzah Goddess.