Full transcript of How to Orgasm with Your Husband on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

Now hello, Lauren. Hi. Welcome to the Dr. Susan Block Show. Thanks. So what would you like to talk with me about? Well, um, my question is that I usually can only achieve Orgasm for myself I haven't been able to do that with my husband. Oh

Well, let's work on that Okay. All right. So you achieve orgasm achieve that sounds like it's an accomplishment It is a kind of an accomplishment. It sounds like Something that has a beginning middle and end

Which it really doesn't you know, I mean just it's part of just Feeling good feeling excited feeling highly aroused feeling tension and then releasing it Mm-hmm, and you can do this while masturbating. Is that correct? Right? Good and you would just with your fingers Or do you have to use a vibrator? Just finger. Oh good. Okay. Well, that's excellent. So with your husband

Do you ever masturbate? No, well, that's my first suggestion is to just give yourself an orgasm in his presence touch yourself while you're with him and that will at least

Educate your body So that you can learn how to have an orgasm with him around you've never had an orgasm with him even in the room Right. Do you feel embarrassed to masturbate with him in the room? Yes. Ah, why? I don't know. I guess I'm just a little bit inhibited. Okay. Well, let's talk about that

It's kind of like like masturbate is kind of like, oh my god. That's a bad word. Is it really so bad? Well, tell me what's bad about it. I don't think it's bad But I think the way society kind of use it and maybe our parents Yes, well first of all, I agree with you and I'm not asking you to masturbate in front of all of society

I'm not asking you to do it in front of your parents I'm asking you to do it with your husband in the process of making love, you know I'm not I'm not saying just suddenly come out there and start wanking You know, I'm saying to do it while he's kissing you while he's touching you, you know to

Touch yourself. I believe that sex is a team sport I mean, it's also an art form and it's also a spiritual thing, but it's kind of a sport And there's no reason why just because you touch him and he touches you you can't touch yourself and he can't touch himself Now, let me ask you a question. Do you think he is going to be offended or

Inhibited or intimidated by you? Probably not. He's a little bit more open. Oh Excellent. All right. I mean, I actually I do touch myself, but I never bring myself To that level Okay. Well, I think that you should just

Take this call where I've encouraged you and it doesn't sound like your husband's in your way No, it doesn't sound like society is really in your way because they're not in your bedroom Your parents are not there either. Do you usually think about your parents when you're having sex? No, okay? So you're not going to think about them now

and And do you have a religious background that somehow says that masturbation is a bad thing? No, not necessarily But maybe a little bit. No, no, not really. Well, let me just address that

Feeling of maybe I'm embarrassed maybe to let go and lose control Well, I guess you are I guess you are and you have to understand that about yourself and be patient with yourself And give yourself enough time Touch yourself for as long as you need to and let your husband know that you're gonna work on you one night

And make it a night when he's feeling good, you know when he's not too tired and wants to just you know Have a quickie and roll over right, okay? Make it a night when this is a night for you I mean you've given him plenty of orgasms, right? Oh, yeah, okay? So one night in the next week or two

It's gonna be a night for Lauren where maybe he gives you a massage You have the kind of music on that you like and you let him know that you're gonna you're gonna touch yourself and I think he'd love it and I think that if you just give yourself the time that you need and close your eyes and Try to just get into that kind of space that you get into when you're all by yourself

You'll give yourself an orgasm and maybe not the first time you do this with him Don't give yourself that expectation that you have to do it the first time Just give yourself a lot of time to play with yourself to breathe deeply You know one thing that happens sometimes when we're nervous and it sounds like you're probably a little nervous or tense

When you're with your husband because this is an issue now, right? You know whether or not Lauren's gonna have an orgasm, right? So you hold your breath You might not even be aware of that, but I bet you do so what I want you to do is while you're with him remember to breathe okay and breathe deeply and

Allow yourself to breathe into your pelvis You know what I mean, right take that deep breath to allow all those energies to relax and Let me ask you something. I mean you're able to have an orgasm. Oh, yeah, do you know about kegel exercises? Yeah, okay. Do you ever do them?

No, not really, okay, but you know what they are. Yeah, okay, so it's squeezing and releasing your kegel muscle or your PC muscle not your Personal computer or politically correct muscle. It's your pubococcygeus muscle This is the muscle that tenses and releases when you have an orgasm. It also is operative in other Instances such as having a baby, but we're not talking about that right now, right?

But but this muscle I want you to consciously think about it and squeeze it and release it You can practice this while you're alone Masturbating so you get a sense of where it is and how to squeeze it and release it Okay, and while you're with your husband and you're breathing deeply and you're playing with yourself

squeeze and release that muscle Can I ask a question? Yes, it's possible to achieve Argusm actually with that direct Clotorial stimulation like just from penetration

Yes, but not usually Okay, most I think I always had a misconception about that thinking that that's when it was supposed to happen with the man But yes, well seems like it that's an old husband's tale Like normally we have orgasms through clitoral stimulation

Even vaginal orgasms usually come about after clitoral stimulation You don't necessarily have to be stimulating the clitoris the whole time you're having sex although it doesn't hurt and in fact It's a good idea But it's a good I it's a it's it even if you don't have the clitoral stimulation during intercourse if you have an orgasm

It's usually because you've worked your clitoris up Okay, you will not have an orgasm if you have a dry Unstimulated clitoris the clitoris is the seat of your orgasm. It is your pleasure center it is the pearl of your luscious oyster and

You know, I mean you can have an orgasm in any part of your body You can have an eargasm just by having your ears licked if you're very sensitive there You can have a toegasm just by having your toes sucked on in a very very sensual way If you have an erogenous zone right on your big toe like I do and I love it when max sucks my toe

It gives me an orgasm a toegasm But you know for the most part orgasms come from stimulation of the clitoris There's also the g-spot which is inside there, but don't you worry about that stuff You got to have a clitoral orgasm with your husband because that's the basic building block of orgasmic pleasure

So I should work towards just direct stimulation either by him or me Yes, okay And in fact while you're having intercourse in certain positions such as missionary position or woman on top You can slide your hand in and play with your clitoris while he's penetrating you and I'm sure he'll enjoy that

Okay, and your little miss clitty will enjoy that too. Okay, okay And lots of oral sex does he give you oral sex? He does and I kind of after a while I think oh he must be like I like so bored I

Yeah, you also have this mental block That makes you feel like you don't deserve the time that you need and let me just tell you you do and Let me just also tell you give yourself the time that you need right now and Eventually you will become an orgasm expert and you will be able to have an orgasm faster than you can get your clothes off

But give yourself with him with him with him. Yes, I know you can do that already on your own But you've got to start Getting it with him and you've got to give yourself some time for that. Okay. Okay. Okay, so let me know what happens I appreciate your help. Well, I love to give it to you. Thank you. All right. Bye. Bye

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