Carnal Carnival

Full transcript of Carnal Carnival on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

You need to talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else? You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves. But my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences,

specializing in sex therapy over the phone. Any time you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination, my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away.

Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you, role play for you, fantasize with you. No fantasy is too taboo and help you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages.

For more information, call us at 213-291-9497. That's 213-291-9497. Anytime you need to talk. You're listening to Radio Susie One on the World Wide Web.

And now, here she is, Dr. Susan Block. Brothers and sisters, lovers and artists and exhibitionists, lawyers and connoisseurs, bonobos and clown. All you children of sex.

Come here, children of sex. Come sit in my cathedral. Come forward, come forward. You are part of the inner circle.

Yes, yes, you and you and you. Come, come, come. Come sit around. Yes, this is the clown cathedral of Bonoboville.

Brothers and sisters. And just in case you just tuned in, this is a show about. With a capital X, can I hear an amen? Amen.

Can I hear an amen? Women. Amen. I want to welcome you to Bonoboville.

Yes, indeed, brothers and sisters, the Dr. Susan Block show broadcasting live from the speakeasy, the circus of sex. If I sound a little nasally and you're listening to me on radio, that's because I have a very special fetish going on tonight.

Yes, indeed, brothers and sisters. Let's get clowny. Yes, indeed. Tonight is going to be a bit of a carnal carnival.

And just to exemplify the carnival spirit, we have Aliyah Corsets up here before us, looking so divine. And her tutu, do a little spin around, Aliyah. Yes, spin around, spin around.

She's a circus under herself. And what's under that big top? Let's see. Turn around, turn around, turn around.

Yes, so spankable. We saw that bottom, speaking of the top and the bottom. We saw the bottom get really spanked the other day. We'll talk about that.

But first, I have a few things to talk about. And so do we. That's right. I'm a bonobo.

Yes. And just in case you don't know a lot of sex. Yeah. For sex, all kinds of positions, all kinds of.

Yeah. It's got something to do with. I don't know. I guess maybe if you had all the sex that I had,

you wouldn't be be heading and bombing. All that stuff. Need a little for you. I'm Betty bonobo.

I love you. Don't worry. I won't have sex with you unless you really want me to. I'm chimp.

Oh, you're a common chimp. Kind of. I mean, you do kill other chimps. Could you?

Could you go bonobos? I don't know. Maybe if somebody died me with the same food dye they used on you. Maybe if you really loved me.

Or maybe if I follow the bonobo. If common chimps can do it. We can too. Yes, brothers and sisters.

Yay. Yay. This clowning is tough stuff. Between the hands and the nose.

It's very tough stuff. But sex is a comedy, not a tragedy. At least it should be. And that's just one of my quotes.

That's actually a kind of a bastardization of a cameo that is in a fantastic new article in Citizen LA. Shout out to Citizen LA, brothers and sisters. Thank you, George, steel.

And it features, first of all, Aliyah Corsets ass. Can we have some more applause? If you have not yet looked at the article, you will see Aliyah Corsets ass not just once, but twice.

And a lovely ass. It is fire lit with dark Phoenix's flame. And actually Dr. Mars is in the background. It is quite something.

Did you see Dr. Mars? Did you see him in the background? Check it out. Okay.

Right in the background. I don't know whether he's trying to avoid getting lit on fire or he's just dazzled by Aliyah's radiant ass. But yes, it's an impressive shot.

And then there's the shot of me and Captain Max. No, I'm going to put my clown nose on. No, I don't know. Anyway, we love the article is the point.

Okay, so I am in fact going to read a short excerpt. Well, it's actually not so short, which is why I have put my clown nose on. Just in case I sound pompous and full of myself as I read this,

because I am sure that I will, because it is just so amazing what he writes and so true. Well, I mean, it's very nice. It's kind as is the proper thing to say.

Very kind words he says in the beginning before he lets us shoot our mouths off in an interview. But in the very beginning it's like this amazing intro. So yes, here we go.

This is in Citizen LA by George Steele. A sexually diverse utopian hangout is difficult to come by, seemingly requiring a consolidation of improbabilities for such a scene to unfold.

A support group of active participants must also be on hand to nurture mutually beneficial relationships while filtering out toxic personalities. You got that?

Toxic personalities be gone. Okay. Within these environments, fulfillment springs from a loss of inhibitions

and a shift in the way one processes fear wherein societal norms are redefined. No doubt, it takes faith and perseverance to commit oneself to champion

what many conservative Americans condemn. Faith, perseverance, and a clown nose. Anyway, no, he didn't say that. But okay, back to him.

A favorable outcome is, in part, the result of a positive mindset, and the clown nose, and the initial boundaries set forth by the host.

Luckily, adventure, optimism, and love is what... You read this line? Right, yeah. Okay.

She wasn't on microphone, so you'll have to guess who they're talking about there. A well-studied, well-versed pioneer. This hints at my age here,

but I'm not gonna get too upset about that. Dr. Block has been offering her audience healthy alternative lifestyle options to counter what has been ailing Americans for centuries.

Now, let me say when I first read that line and I was a little concerned about the pioneer part and then it would betray my age, I thought he meant that I had been doing this for centuries.

I remember, I was there. Right, you were there. Wait a second. Centuries.

No, but I think he means that this has been plaguing... It's been ailing people for centuries. Ailing, exactly. It's been ailing Americans for centuries

and I have cured you. Well, no, I'm not really curing you. I'm just countering. Countering.

Any advice emanating from Susan, now he's on a first name basis, I see, is derived from practical applications and real-world scenarios.

Patience become fans and fans become evangelists. Yeah. Are you an evangelist?

I would guess I would be put in the exact category. Anyway, this writing is pretty amazing. Can we have some applause for Citizen LA, please? Amazing.

That is what Dr. Susan Block is all about. It is. Too kind. But, you know, it's nice.

It's nice to have somebody get it, get what we're trying to do here and give us some credit for doing it and at least, yeah, I mean, really, really get

that it's this crazy balance of stuff, you know? So, here we are balancing this stuff and ready to carnival, right? Here's Elizabeth.

Hello. You are wearing your sparkle shoes. Sparkle shoes, and then I'll be putting on the nose soon. Yes.

Well, did I give you a nose? I gave them all away to all our utopian members here. Okay, so you, does that mean you do not have a nose? I think maybe I should be initiated.

I think so. Well, I have to be all of a piece. Now, it does match your outfit. So, you know, we'll bring it all together now.

Here we go. People have fetishes for this. Honk honk. Nice.

Here we go. Now, if you could imagine that you put that on with some very tight spirit gum and it was made of latex,

you could use it as a nose dill dough. Wow. A clown dough, if you will. A clown dough?

A nose dough? Nose dough? I don't know. Nose dive.

There we go. I would be nose diving everyone. Everybody. Well, I could definitely see how it could be a fetish.

You could. Yeah. You have a little bit. Are you getting wet?

Well, I was wet when I got here. But yeah, I mean, it's the ultimate role play, right? Clowning. I would think so.

It kind of takes you outside of yourself. Yeah. Would you say so? Because you're clowny today.

Am I clowny today? I think so. I am. Yeah.

But you're a little... I didn't have a nose either, though. No, okay. Oh, shoot.

Now, I have to say, the nose does not match your outfit. It doesn't. It's totally. I mean, but it goes with everything.

A clown, a clown nose, you know. You're going to get her a nose job? I'm going to get a nose job. You're going to get a nose job.

A nose job. A nose job. How perfect. All right.

This is not exactly the noble bill. Of course it's a nose job. But it does require some kneeling. Yes.

Totally. And yes, we place the nose upon your nose. Wait, wait. You look like you have a hair lip.

Okay. I mean, a hair nose. There you go. So I'm doing nipple clamps.

We're doing nose clamps today. A little clampy thing. Right. I've never had a clown nose on before.

You never have. We're here to experiment. Never. Well, I do think that.

There's a first time for everything in Bonoboville, though. We all certainly have a dress up fetish. And clowning, you know, is related. I mean, you know, we don't always put on the nose.

No. Well, it's just a new, a new avenue for us to explore. But, you know, I mean, the accentuation of the features, the lips, the eyes, all of that is really kind of what seduction is all about.

There's a little bit of anonymity. Well, yeah. Yeah. I mean, when you put on the whole thing.

Well, even the nose, I guess I could hide behind my nose. You wouldn't know. Yeah. Yeah.

So why are we doing this theme anyway? I mean, we're always here and just clowning around. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. We have some other guests, though, don't we? We do. We do.

Yeah. How do we begin to describe these guests? Well, I don't know that we have to describe them. I think we have to bring them up here.

I saw a bunch of clowns come in. I mean, we have to. I think one of them is a beautiful clown. I mean, her name really says what she is.

I'm sure she's deeper than that. But it certainly is a descriptive name. And it is Clownalyn Monroe. Here she is.

Hi. Hi, Miriam. Good. Good.

Have a seat, Clownalyn. All right. It's just like the Johnny Carson show, right? Only in bed.

Only with a woman. And the clown nose. I guess Johnny would wear a clown nose in certain occasions. Amazing.

And maybe even David Letterman would. But they don't do their show in bed. Thank you for having me in your bed. Oh, it's my pleasure.

I mean, we do allow shoes in bed, but not usually such big ones. Well, you know, what they say about girls with big feet. They're very big hearts. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. And you seem to also have a very big heart. I do.

Because I have big feet. Do you know what the heart really is? Well, I was just born yesterday, so you'll have to excuse me. I will.

I will. I will tell you because this is one of my themes as the professor of dildonics. Theme born yesterday. Yeah.

Actually, I love virgins to certain subjects. So the heart isn't really shaped like a cardiac organ, is it? Well, I'm not sure of what we're speaking at this point. Like, I'm talking about the Valentine.

You're getting deeper. Yeah. The Valentine heart. The shape like a bat.

We all know that. Right. Yeah, see? Or boobies.

Or boobies. Yes. Right. I know that.

Right. So your big feet. My big feet could be shaped like a Valentine Tuesday. This sweet little beauty mark.

That's right. That's, there you go. See, much more than that thing beating in our chest, the heart. You know, chests are good, too.

Is a fetish object. Is it? I didn't know. So you're a clown, I guess.

Uh-huh. Tell me about yourself, Clown and Monroe. Well, I'm Clown and Monroe, and I was born in Hollywood. And I'm actually two years and a few months old.

And I came about because I wanted to be a clown. I was, I was at a war protest with 30 other clowns one day. A war protest? Nine years ago, yes.

Oh, against the Iraq war? Yes. My brother had invited me and my little baby at the time. Good for you.

And we went. And there was 30 clowns. And I never realized there could be sexy clowns, and fat clowns, and scary clowns, and pretty clowns,

and cute clowns, and happy clowns, and sad clowns, and there was just clowns and clowns and clowns. And I couldn't believe it. So we, we, from that day on I was like, that was so much fun.

I want to do it all the time. What did you like about all these clowns? Well, we had so much fun. We?

You mean you and your little girl? The 30 clowns. Oh, you and the clown? Yes.

We had the best time ever. And so I, I thought about it for like about six years before I really started doing anything about it. You had the best time doing what?

Being clowns. Of course. Being clowns. Yes.

Okay. It was so, we were so silly. It gives you the ticket, the green light to be silly, you know? To be silly, yes.

Yes. I mean, did you do any silly things? Of course. We had silly signs that said, um, lube not war.

And, um, balloons not bombs. Balloons not bombs. Yeah. See, I usually usually say drop bras not bombs.

Wow. You know, speaking of free the nipple. But those could be bomb too. Well, you know.

Bombers, baby. Bombs. Yeah. The bomb.

Like you are a purple bomb shell. Thank you ever so. Oh yes. So, so, so miss, miss clown.

So you find that, you know, you can play. You can play more easily in a clown. Are we kidding? Carat tour.

More easy than what? Then in the sort of regular mode without the nose and the purple bomb shell hair. Well, I always have a very good time, but I have more fun when I'm a clown. Okay.

Uh-huh. And I think what we're getting around to, if you just want to go ahead and get around to it. Yes.

Is that, um, there is a huge freaky dirty clown fetish thing going on in this world. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Let's get down to it. Let me, let me tell you. Can I hear an amen? Amen.

Can I hear an A women? A women. Is a lot of, you know, clown fetishes getting very excited. Can I hear a two women?

Can I hear a two clown women? Two clown and a women. Doin' each other with their noses. The, um, I, I did it with another clown.

I've seen clowns do it with balloons. Let's see it. I did it with one clown ever. I had the porn clown posse on here a few years ago.

A few times actually. They used to come for my birthday. They kind of, I don't know if they're, they were very anarchistic. Talk about political.

So it's hard to keep them together, but freak ball and the porn clown posse, they would, uh, you know, kind of have sex with balloon animals and rubber ducks and chickens. And I'm not down.

You're not down? No. Maybe just, you know, a good time with another clown. Okay.

Okay. But that does not involve balloon animals. But that's for me. You know, yeah.

No, that's fine. I will, I wouldn't put balloon animals in you or on you. What if one popped? They have to wonder.

I think that would come. Yeah. I was wondering about the popping. I think that was part of the excitement.

And I think actually one did pop and it was part of, I mean, it just made the girl come and it was. Well, my goodness. I don't know what to say.

Well, being born yesterday and all, you know, that's news to me. Well, what can you teach me? Well, how to make a balloon dick hat. Oh, that sounds good.

Yeah. A balloon dick hat. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. I even have a dick head here. I mean, this is. I'm going to need my balloon bag though.

And I gave it to that lovely lady. Oh, okay. Lovely lady. Are you talking about our producer biz?

She went to get it. No, that's not the balloon bag. Oh, I like the balloon bag is polka dots, which matches my outfit and bring that up here.

So we have a little theme going. Oh, here's Josie cat. Let's bring her up here for the whole occasion. Come on.

Yeah. Come on over here, darling. Are you going to learn how to make a dick hat too? Hell yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Did you get a clown nose? You did not get a, where did all the clown noses go?

I'm so happy that everybody's clowns here. Here you go. It's very nice. Yes.

I love to be surrounded by clowns. I wanted you to feel comfortable. At home? Yeah.

I mean, you are obviously the clown of clown nets. I'm actually clown on Monroe every day now. Yes. Yeah.

Really? Really? Put all that makeup on every day? Living my life as a clown every day.

Just like a tranny, you know. That's very interesting. Yeah. Really?

Okay. A dry queen of sorts. Are you going to be on the cover of Vanity Fair now? Of clown?

Yes. Looking hot. Yes. But elegant.

Play a clown. Okay. I'm going to have to put the microphone down. Don't cry.

I'll be back. You're leaving? Oh, you're going to get the hat. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Wait, I need another one. I think they're good for bra stuffers.

All right. You, did your boobs eat my nose? What happened there? Okay.

I need my assistant to hold the microphone so I can get the instructions on how to make the dick hat. Okay. You go get the dick hat.

What about the dick? And I would like to call to the broadcast area, Professor Darkmark. Professor? That's a new one.

Well, it's a carnival, you know. It seems like a carnival. I'm going to make it pink. Okay.

Unless you have any other requests. So, sir. I'm a professor now. Yes, you are.

You need to speak to me. Where should he be? Should my camera people, should he be here or here? Maybe here?

This, this, how about here? Is that a good seat right there? Can I just stay here? We got some bum time.

There we go. Ow. He's going to, he's getting right on the floor. Oh, we got some clown wrestling.

All right. One, two, three, go. All right. So, he doesn't have a nose, but he's already doing prat falls for those of you who are

in the cheap seats and simply listening on radio. If you're watching, you know that Dark Mark made his entrance on his ass. All right. As usual.

Okay. And, and now I was going to give everyone individual clown noses because of the hygienic aspect, but Josie Kat has given you the one that was between her tits. And that's okay with you.

Don't worry. I noticed that. I can smell it. I can smell it from here.

He's very happy about this. Yeah. I was never taking this off. I know.

I noticed that. I noticed that. Who else wants a clown nose from between this? And by the way, Dr. Seuss.

Yes, Dark Mark. Is that drawing them? Does this look like somebody who needs to stuff their bra seriously? Well, I don't know.

I would like to see the evidence. And by the way, seeing you in person, beautiful. Your pictures don't even do you justice. You are so beautiful.

Thank you. But you wear your clown nose. But my nose, right? Yes.

I was going to say. And you know how hard it is to look you in the eye? It's very hard. It's hard to look anyone in the eye with a clown nose on.

I found. We were doing it this week. We were practicing. It's very hard.

That's what I was just going and getting at. I'm trying to strike a sexy clown nose. He's talking about the nose below. It doesn't work with duck lips.

Not so much. No, it does. I mean, you know. How can you strike a sexy clown nose?

You know, because you're a clown. Look at this. Do a sexy clown. Show us how to be a sexy clown.

I look at her pump up the balloon. Yeah. Pump it, girl. I look like a serial killer.

Yeah. It's like a penis pump there. I look like a serial killer. Yeah.

Eat your heart out, dicks. Out there. Josie, you always look like a serial killer. This one is, what is that?

Like 24 inches? Wow. Okay. Talk and do a microphone.

Hold the microphone. She's measuring. As she's doing this. Yes.

Here's our producer. Okay. So tell us what you're doing. What I've done here is I'm using a pink balloon.

And I filled it a lot of the way, but I left a little bit so we could twist and yes. And we could make like it a little bit looser so I can fold it into a nice fitting penis hat. Would you do that with your legs open?

Yeah. Thank you. Okay. Yeah.

Right. Right. Okay. Never mind.

Keep going. Keep going. Yeah. Yeah.

It's fine. Scoot those suckers up. Yeah. Scoot them up.

So then we're going to fold this. This is really some sort of a dildonic device. So as to make a hat. A hat.

Right there. And this of course is the penis without the balls. Now wait a second. I mean this.

Here comes the balls. What do you want? Where is that? I know what you're going to make.

The balls. What do you want? This is for a very large dick. So she's got one ball so it's a Tom Green right now.

Pinch twisting is the move that it's called for this. Uh oh, the bonobos out. One. Can you do this for my penis?

And then another pinch twist. First I have to find my penis. And if you're watching this on TV you know why people have clown fetishes now. That happened last time so I'm going to fix this really quick because I'm good at that.

She fixes balls. She can fix balls. Trust me she does. Really you have personal experience with her fixing your balls?

Well I don't want to. Actually we went out, I got to tell you about when we went out of Valentine's Day. Is this the? Sorry.

It was so romantic we went to Jumbo's Clown Room. Okay so there was another pinch twist and now we have the perfect penis hat. And that's, I think Mark. But wait it's too small for Mark.

This looks like a person hat. Oh yeah it could fit perfectly right there. I see it's a hat for a person that has a penis on the end of it. So in other words it's for the dickheads.

I like to go out at 2 a.m. and make really drunk people wear them and then I film them just for fun. And they'll pay you. They say put this on. Actually I could wear it without the headphones.

You want a dickhead? She wants the dickhead. It doesn't mean she's a dickhead. Oh no!

Your penis fell off! Doctor Susan castrated the balloon! I didn't mean to. She's so rough.

I am, I am. I castrated the balloon. You have to be gentle with those balls Doctor Susan please. It's actually the dick part that fell off.

Oh yes I know. I'm not Lorena! Alright she fixed my dick. That's right.

Absolutely. Clown Living Row is a good dick fixer trust me. Okay so it's the latest Paris fashion. Clown hat.

Clown is becoming a bigger thing than it was before I think. I think I've awakened a lot of sexy clown awareness. Josie with balls on her forehead. I've never seen that before.

Alright. I'm feeling very high fashion. Yeah it looks good. It's very Kardashian.

Uh huh. Runway. Coachella. Burning Man.

That's Caitlyn's penis on your head. That's what it is. So there's a Kardashian connection. Welcome to my world Doctor Susan.

Yes, yes. I was trying to think of a politically correct comeback and I couldn't. The comeback is. Because it's so hard to know what to say.

There's such a hard dick on my head. There is, there is. But if that was Caitlyn's dick. A lot of.

Oh wait a second hold on. People can understand what Chris was upset about. Yeah so okay. So there he is brothers and sisters.

Dark Mark in his farewell to Los Angeles. Yes it is my farewell to Los Angeles. And he is now going to New Orleans to Haunt and Rice. Yes I am about.

Your head's too big. I did make it. That's what she said. I've heard that before.

No I am the goth comedian and I've been in LA and have been hosting a podcast. Yes. Which is where I met Clownam and Rowe for the first time. And Josie Cat was formerly my co-host.

Oh. But I just uh you know sometimes you have to experience new things go to new places. And I'm just going to try touring the South for a while. And see how they like me down there at the Bible belts.

But I mean why, why New Orleans? Have you ever been to New Orleans? There's vampires there you know. Or is it Anne Rice?

It's vampires. Mardi Gras. Mardi Gras. Carnival.

That's our closest thing to carnival. Here in the United States would be Mardi Gras I guess. Right. Or traditionally anyway.

You know aside from Burning Man I guess it's now the thing. But yeah. Can I take this off? Can you take the nose off?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to take some breaks from the nose I notice. I do too. I was running out of breath there.

Yeah. No I just it's. I get the ones. We did the breath play actually two weeks ago with Orpheus Black.

I know Orpheus. It's been on my show many times. Actually I should tell him about the clown nose. That helps with the breath play actually.

Orpheus actually set Josie kind of fire on my show. You know that guy is dangerous. I'm trying to like being set on fire. Yeah you know girls love him and we do too.

And if they do it right it's actually really hot. But you know I just want to caution the folks at home don't do what Orpheus Black does unless you take like a class.

You have to know what you're doing. I don't have medical insurance. That helps. Josie got burned on my show this week actually.

We had another guy Arabian MK who does a little variation of fire play. Oh he's awesome. Yeah.

Just straight out of Saudi Arabia. With dreadlocks. I don't know where the dreadlocks came from. And then he has the English moustache.

Amazing. He's sexy. So the God thing. I'm the God.

What is the God and the clown? Is it just the white makeup? That's right. I like pasty white girls.

Pasty white girls with lots of eye makeup. That's exactly it. The nose you can give or take. Yeah well the nose has it has it uses.

But the thing is I love pasty white girls I always have. Yeah. And you know when I went clown lemon row and I had her on my show she redefined sexy for me

because you can't go any whiter than that. Right. Beautiful. It's clown face.

We walked to the jumbo's clown room we were like royalty. It was amazing. It was like the seas parted. And it was weird because I've never been to jumbo's clown room.

It's a great place. It's a great place clown whether you like clowns or not. I don't know I was I found it I was a little disappointed because I'd heard the rumors there were transvestites

girls missing legs things like that. No it is so vanilla. Right. Girls in bikinis.

Except when we went and clown will back me up. There was a woman who had to be about 75 in the front row of grandmother. Making it rain.

It was her birthday she was making it rain. She's like get over here you big. Can I use bad language on the show. Bad.

Be bad. Get over here you cunts you bitches come over here and take my money like an old grandmother and the clown's like hi how are you sweetie.

She's like oh you're beautiful. Come over here you slots you bitches. Just making it rain it was crazy. I've never seen anything like it.

Wow. Neither have I. And the clown went home with her so that's yeah. It changed her philosophy bag it was really it's a lot of fun.

Donald Trump making it rain. And look where it's getting him he's the front runner. Oh I know it was a political show I'm sorry. Speaking of clowns.

Oh there you go. You know I mean let's just get real clowns are everywhere and they are running for president and one of the reasons Hillary isn't getting anywhere

is because she's not wearing a clown nose she needs to put one on. Give Hillary this. Well this is Bill this is a clown.

No seriously Bill see this is what I thought you meant by a penis hat. But you know. No no no we got one now.

You know that's the first dildo I've ever seen with a tie that's really good. This is in case you are listening from the cheap seats and by the way you can watch free on

Bonoboville brothers and sisters. You know you can just go to bonoboville.com. So right now I am holding that name. Bill Clint dildo.

Can you give me a blurb. A blurb. A bonobo blurb. Yeah I'm very curious because.

Am I going to get molested. I would like to tell you things about myself. Do you know bonobos have boobs too. Humans aren't the only ones.

Bonobos are very much like humans in very many ways. We have boobs. We're pretty smart.

We can make tools. Don't make bombs though. Do we what. Do we have an extra bonobo back there.

I don't want to. You're ruining her. The left breast to be lonely. Explanation.

Well I don't have another bonobo honestly. Common chimp. I have a common chimp because we're could see. Part of why.

Bonobos are not common. No bonobos are special and it's partly genetic but it's partly partly. Cultural.

I have to learn to be like this. I thought I was talking too much but apparently not. I'm just amazed by. There's no place.

I'm amazed by Elizabeth crawling around. Her ass is like a perfect shot right now. There you go. She's presenting me with my doctor.

No one noticed that. Trust me. I noticed that. Holy shit.

There's like a butt up in the air. I'm now going to perform surgery. I'm a lady. I wouldn't show you this.

She's a doctor. So yes. We call this place Bonoboville because we are inspired by the make love not war chimpanzees

who swing through the trees as well as with each other. Just like us. Except they have more hair. And they don't bomb and they don't be head.

And you know they're our inspiration. We're clowning. Perfect explanation for her inspiration. I think that deserves a round of applause don't you.

So okay. Thank you. Can I wear that? I want to be a doctor.

It's monogram though. It's mine. If you wear it you're mine. You belong to me.

And you must do my bidding. So be putting it on with care. Because Bonoboville communion is almost upon us. Here she is Josie Kat.

Doctor Josie Kat. Her number. She is clowning around. I want her number.

So who needs a rectal exam out there? So where's your microphone? I hasten to ask. Wrong phallic.

Wrong one. But they all look the same. Sometimes. That's the white version.

This is the black version. How do you feel in a doctor's coat? Does it turn you on? Yeah I like it.

It's filling up power. Yeah. What do you want to do with that power? Inspect someone.

You want to swat someone? That too. I said inspect. But swat will work.

Inspect someone. Inspect. And who would you like to inspect or swat? You have a couple cuties here.

Oh. Oh he's cute. I like that. Can I do this please?

Well hello. What do you want to do? Oh God. The list is so long.

Is it going to get hot in here? Well you guys are my guests. I have certain things I do but I don't know what you want to do. He's latin.

I don't think this will work. I'm not sure what that meant. I know what that meant. He knows what that meant.

Okay so if you're in the cheap seats, Jake is shrugging with a clown nose on over to the side here. There's the duct tape in here. Where's the examination room?

How are we doing on time now? Are we needing to take a break? Two minutes? Ten.

Ten minutes? That's a thorough examination. Ten, okay. Okay are you guys going to do an examination or are you going to just grin at each other

embarrassingly? Okay there's an exam going on now of some sort in my coat. And all of the stuff. Do you have anything medical?

Doctor. Yeah that balloon right there. I don't think you're going to like that. Except here's the thing.

I think she should wear less clothes, not more. I don't like the idea of her wearing more clothes than she came in with. Right? Am I right?

Yeah. And now you may use the instrument. Just be careful with that thing. Did you wash your hands?

Okay, so she's now circling around the victim with the Yeah on all fours. You're going to like it. I'm a girl.

I'm not sucking it. What? I'm not taking anything. Portion slip.

Okay the bonobo and the chimp are watching these humans show us how they have sex. Here they are. The girl gets behind the guy with a balloon. Oh well of course humans are animals too.

The clown steps on my toe. You know that's why I should wear shoes like you've got. And your new hat. Thank you so much for that.

And sorry so much for that. You turned around just before I got a chance for my revenge. Revenge. So what does that entail?

Oh a book spanking. You stepped on my toe. You're in trouble now. Should I report you to the cousin Auster or do you take your punishment?

Okay what do you guys want to do? Don't leave it up to them. Give him what he wants. He's the maestro here.

Topless. I concur. Absolutely. Let me give you some room.

It's a good idea right? Free the nipple. We'll do a compromise. I don't think you're correct.

I think the boobs are stuffed. It's okay. I paid a lot for those to be stuffed. So why can't I see them?

As a farewell. I want you facing. I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do. Otherwise people will accuse me of serving Cosby Cocktail.

So please, you just do what you want. And I will spank someone who deserves it. She's a doctor. Alright babies, we're going to do some bonoboville communion

before any spankings are going to go on here. Right on. We're going to lubricate things. We have the bartender right here.

My bartender, my darling. Since it is free the nipple, and I have some uncooperative nipples here. If I go topless, you go topless.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't make deals. She shouldn't be making deals. She's so bossy.

Clowny. But she's very hard to say no to. I know, I know. Alright, go ahead.

Step on another toe. You did step on her feet though. That's right. You deserve to go topless.

Nice. I beat you to it, doc. That's right, that's okay. Would you take a shirt off?

She could take my shirt off. Okay, you could take a shirt off. Go take a shirt off. I gave her something to do finally that she wants to do.

That's about time. She's very protective of herself, but she likes to reveal the bodies of others. I bet she does.

Yes, she does. She doesn't want to reveal her own, but others, yes. And let's hear it for handsome Hollywood Jake.

Alright. Look at that bullseye. You notice he's wearing an Agua apron. Oh, Agua.

Let's have a look here now that the shirt is on. Agua apron. And when I put his dick head on for a photo. We have Agua.

And the hat, the dick hat. Oh, the dick hat. The balloon hat dick. Put the dick hat on.

And, wait. Sorry that dick's too small, but put it on. Okay. Oh, I forgot my notes.

That's a vacation photo. Okay, here we go for a vacation photo, folks. These are two people who, for the first time, had a drink of Agua.

And look what happened to them. Alright, and so I think we're going to take a little break. Yeah, it's made out of cocaine. And this is our cue that we're going to get to

Bonoboville Communion soon. Tits are no tits. We are going to sip the holy water. Oh yeah, baby.

And ingest the salt of love or earth. That's right. So we're going to clown around. We're going to get somebody spanked.

And, yeah, I don't know about you. No, I don't. You don't deserve a spanking. Maybe.

So we'll have some spankings. And we'll have some Bonoboville Communion. And we'll have a Sybian ride. I might be going on the Sybian.

Sybian. You're going to ride the Sybian? You're going to ride the Sybian? Seriously?

Okay, these are your friends. Is that my farewell gift? That might be your farewell gift is that Biz Bonobo with or without a clown.

We might have to remove the clown nose for the Sybian ride. That's for me a little. That is going to be awesome. Bonoboville Communion is coming.

So you out there in the cheap or the expensive seats, we have to take a little break. So get your clown nose, you know, cleaned up. Blow your nose.

And then don't come yet. Don't go away. We'll be right back. Yeah.

Bye. Hi, I'm Dr. Susan Block. And I've just written a new book called The Bonobo Way, inspired by my love for the make love, not war, great apes.

You know, the ones who have a lot of sex in a Bonobo sutra of positions, including face to face. But it's not just how Bonobos have sex. It's how they use sex to prevent murder and war, really.

They're the only great apes that have never been seen killing each other. They practice what I call peace through pleasure, with the females gently dominating the very happy,

very sexually satisfied males. Bonobos are special, partly because they just are and partly because they're very, very close to us, almost 99% genetically similar to us.

When it comes to being human, even being humane, Bonobos can teach us so much, which brings me to us and more specifically to you. Is your inner Bonobo longing to swing free?

Would you like to tap into the hot natural sex energy within you, that you would, so you can better enjoy the pleasures in life and cope with the pain.

You know, the pain. And have more orgasmic, organic, sustainable sex. Who doesn't want that? Greater lust, greater trust, and better anger management.

And who couldn't use a little bit of that these days? So get the book, Learn the Bonobo Way. You'll be glad you did. Then you'll want to join Bonoboville,

a new global village for Bonobo lovers and friends. And one last thing. The real Bonobos are highly endangered, so a portion of all book sales go to

Bonobo Conservation Groups, working to save the wild Bonobos from extinction, read the Bonobo Way, and learn why this could be the most important

eco-sexual movement of our times. And improve your love life. Sisters, we are going to have a Sybian ride for Master Maymo.

So you've never been on a Sybian before? No, I've never been on one before. Okay. Now you are ready to ascend the throne.

Mr. Tracy, you are going to ride God's machine now. Put one leg right here, put the other right here,

and just position yourself comfortably. Put your clit right here. Okay, so here she goes. Uh-oh.

It's mountain. Sybian. Have you ever ridden a Sybian, by the way? Oh, I have.

Many a time. My favorite horse to ride. Have Sybian yoga and experience it

to the fullest. Go for the G-spot. Go for the clit. Go for whatever works.

Someone can come from their nipple. We've got for Jim Rondo. Right here at the Sybian. Whoa.

Holy shit. That does the job. Yeah, it's the Sybian strikes again. Yes, I do say that when it feels good.

Live on dr.Suzi.tv from the womb room in Bonoboville. Right on cowboy. Take a deep breath.

Deep breath. Relax. Breathe forward. Breathe forward.

We never get tired of watching a pretty girl on the Sybian celebrate and masturbation month. Yes. Hallelujah.

Hallelujah. Oh, yes. Come on. The sister of the conference.

Look at that face. That is a beautiful thing. Thank you, Dr. Susan Block. You're a wonderful human being.

You're a wonderful human being. Dr. Susan Block. Thank you. I think that was a wonderful thing.

I think we have orgasm, Houston. We have lift-off. We have lift-off. Okay, we're going to come.

We're going to come. Bye, Sister Penny. Testify. That you masturbate.

How was it? What's your report? My vagina is so tingly right now. It feels like pop rock.

I'm just going to take this home. I'm going to take it off. I think it's bigger than your little body. That is the best product endorsement I've ever seen.

Can I leave now? Like, I'm ready. I'm... Come on.

We're the husband. You got the simian. You don't need the husband. Oh, my God.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't let her fall over. Whoa. Whoa.

Hey, darling girl. I love you. I love you. That's my girl.

We are back in Bonoboville, brothers and sisters, and speaking of bonobos, I want to give a shout out to Zana Gray. Actually, excuse me, Zana Clay.

No, Zana Clay, who is a protégé of Franz de Waal and has done some amazing research that shows that the bonobo peeps that bonobos make are very much like human baby talk.

So there's a lot of language connection that we didn't even know about. Next, I think we're going to be translating bonobo love songs. I don't think it's just baby talk.

I think there's a little something adult going on when they're peeping, too. But anyways, it's cool, baby talk. Shout out to Steve Carras of the Huffington Post

who gave a rave review to the bonobo way, impactful, hilarious, wildly entertaining. The bonobo way just might hold the key to world peace. Thank you, Steve.

I don't know if he's clowning around. Don't be silly. Or if he means it. I don't know.

I mean, I sort of am half clowning around, and I mean it, too. I mean, you know, I kind of would like to see Obama and Putin penis-fencing, right?

That would be fun. Who would? If you want to know what penis-fencing is, get the book!

That's right. I'll give you a hint, though. It's not a bunch of dildos painted white around a house. So...

Ungar! Are you going to do some penis-fencing? Touche! Yeah, well, you know, walking sticks and all that stuff.

Penis-substitutes, fallacies, you could say, but bonobos actually do it with their penises, and I think that's a key. Because after all, the bomb, the missile,

these are also penis substitutes, and look where that's gotten us. How about getting back to the real penis? And by the way, let's give a little shout-out to,

oh god, what's his name? Who just did that? Free the penis? Oh, Free the Bacon!

Yeah, Kevin Bacon. Okay, Free the Bacon. Although I think it's a kind of a spoof on Free the Nipple, which I kind of resent.

I think he should show his penis, not some pretend thing, piece of bacon hanging out of his pants. Ungar...

What? People love bacon. Okay, Chelsea has just twittered us. This is really sad.

Change of pace. And outrageous. Change of pace, but we do get political here sometimes,

and an unarmed 19-year-old girl. Or no, actually, yeah, I guess it's, maybe it's not a girl, it's a person, a boy.

A 19-year-old boy. Christian Taylor was shot and killed by police. Not sure which police. Well, yeah, it doesn't matter.

They all kill. And this is why we need anger management, bonobo style for police departments.

How? Okay. It's not good. It's happening.

And, you know, at least we're finding out about it more and more, and getting videotapes of it. So speaking of which,

shout out to our friend, Abby Martin, who is doing an art show. She's trying to get away from all the news blues.

Although she's going back to that in the fall, but right now she's doing art shows in LA. So, we might go to one. I don't know.

You might find us at one. And, yeah, the day after September 11th, what are you doing if you're in LA? Come to the Bonobo Way Talk at CatalystCon.

That's right, September 12th. It's also Elizabeth's birthday. CatalystCon. And we're going to do CatalystCon.

And it's Dr. Serena Gaia's birthday. All right. By the way, shout out to Dr. Serena Gaia and Erlini Donofrio.

I think I got the whole name right there. That's a mouthful. Eco-sexuality co-editor, along with Lindsay Hagamann,

because they just published online a free excerpt from my... forward. Forward to eco-sexuality when nature inspires

the arts of love. So if you want a little free taste of eco-sexuality. Yummy, delicious. It's online.

Okay. So what else is going on? We're going to do Bonoboville Communion, I think, right?

I think so. What are we doing? And Mark's going away. I thought it was a surprise.

It's a surprise. Right. What are you trying to... She tells me she's got a surprise.

And then she whispers that I'm supposed to tell the surprise. Surprise blower. Okay. She's whispering it.

Okay. So I think we're going to have the surprise before Bonoboville Communion, just to get us in the mood.

All right. Okay, here we go. Elizabeth Aston, AKA Biz Bonobo.

Should we put our clown noses on for this? Yes. She's going to give Dark Mark a surprise for his going away.

What happened to Clownalyn? Surprise. She knows. Clownalyn, come on over here.

It's probably better that she's not here. No, no, no. Interface. Yeah, bring her up.

Clownalyn. Come on, girl. Come on, girl. You said you wanted to learn something.

Hello. Hi. Did you miss me? Oh, yes.

Definitely. I'm scared of naked people. You're scared of ladies in black dresses? I hope you're not scared of naked people.

I hope you are because clowns scare enough people. Yeah. It's about time a clown got scared by a human body. And here is Biz Bonobo.

It's like a trance. And she's dancing around. And she's wiggling at a storm. And yet there's, see, I told you some spanking would happen.

Spanking is in order. There's already a spanking going on. That's right. Surprise.

Yeah. Surprise, yeah. Here, here, you can use the book. It actually packs more of a wallet.

That's a little more like it. There you go. Yeah, whack it. It's got pop.

It's got pop to it. There you go. This is going to catch on. If you don't want to read the book, you can use it as a spanking implement.

And she's got really nice underwear on. Yeah. Hello. Hello.

Ooh la la. Ooh la la. Look at that underwear. Some fishnet side panels on the black panties.

And a nice push-up bra. And the dress goes around. Mark Darks. Daddy like, daddy like.

Oh, hey, I dropped the book. Oh, hey, hey, hey. Don't step on the book. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ooh, my goodness. There she is doing the lap dance. We're the big guy. Going off to New Orleans.

You know I interviewed Anne Rice. Long ago I did. I interviewed her and her husband at the time, Stan Rice. What are you waiting for?

When she was more famous than her. And now there's a little spanking going on. Smack. Teamwork.

That's the best. They're professionals. You know, if you want to watch this, you can watch it for free in the studio area.

Yeah, you got to watch it for free. Yeah, you can watch it for free. You have to join Bonoboville, which is also free. What are you waiting for?

Everything's so free that you have to donate once in a while. All right. Spanking. Okay.

She's really good at that. Okay. Yeah, but she has to be able to sit down. Okay.

Okay. That's enough. Don't get carried away. Yeah, we get people.

Bravo. Get very carried away. Spanking here. Very nice.

Mark, I wish you the best. Spanking is fun. My goodness. Thank you.

Got my heart rate up. Wow. That's it for the strip tease. I want to get spanked by a clown.

Oh. Oh, don't step on the book. Hang on, hang on. Pick up the book.

Nice. Here, can I be? Nice save. Okay, very good.

All right. Did you say you want to get spanked by a clown? You have to take care of it like a BDSM instrument. All right.

My belt. Oh. Well, you have to go first. There's plenty over there.

Excuse me a moment. All right. So, what else do you guys do? Where are you at?

Okay. I like that idea. Okay. Move on.

Next. Next is just. Wait a second. Let's get you down to your tidy whiteies and spank you.

I wear boxers, but I love the bloomers though. Nobody rocks bloomers like clowns. Oh, I love that you took off your blouse. Just one or two spanks.

There you go. I'm so glad my guests are having fun. There we go. Josie's been aching to be spanked.

What a heiny. Yeah. Careful on there. From where I'm sitting.

Oh, yeah. There you go. Oh, Bella. You got to rub it out.

All right. Okay. Who says sex well? It can't be.

There she goes. I enjoyed that one. Oh, she left a little red mark there. Oh, my goodness.

You're a bad clown. You want to try it with the book? Clown, you want to use the book? Josie, hold on.

Stay in position. Oh, very well. That's all she deserves. All right.

You say that on the microphone. I want to know that, you know, you guys are happy. Microphone check one, two. Yes.

Yes. What did you just say? I just wanted to make sure her dream came true. She made all my dreams come true.

And your dream was? She wanted to get spanked by a clown. I wanted to be spanked by a clown. It was on my bucket list.

Seriously. Really? And you've never done it? My bucket list.

But wait a second. Wait, had you not done that before? I've never been spanked by a clown. Really?

But you guys do shows all the time. She never spanked me. You never spanked her. I think I spanked her because I created the spank train.

I'm pleased. Do you know about the spank train? I'm glad you could, you know, get that out. Let's do it.

Let's get everybody in a line. And we all spank each other. It is the spank train. I created that.

We'll do that in a minute. Maybe after. That might be fun. The Noboville Communion, I think.

Maybe I would get more into the idea. Well, keep it in mind. But I do want to introduce another guest, who is Joey Adams out here.

So Elizabeth's going to bring him up. Come on down, Joey. And Joey is a comedian friend of Mark's. Yes.

Yes. Mark and I are good friends. And welcome to the Noboville. Thank you very much.

It's great to be here. We're all clowns here. It's the Carnival tonight. It's a little Carnal.

It's certainly a Carnival, right? Yes. It's certainly a Carnival. Okay.

I've never seen anybody spanked by a clown before. No? You've never seen it? You've never saw anyone spank?

See, I've seen it a lot. Okay. So I'm used to clown spankings. Maybe it is unusual, though.

And for that, I'm excited. Well, I think this is very interesting. You like it? Yeah.

Okay. Good, good, good. Very nice. And you're very interesting.

Well, thank you very much. Yes. So you participate in some interesting sex acts yourself, don't you? I do at times.

At times. I don't like to brag, but I'll tell you, I just, I don't need Viagra, if you like what I'm saying. Yeah, okay.

I see. You stay stiff. How would you describe what you're showing to us for the people who aren't watching? Well, I would say it's like the ultimate French tickler because I can do this.

Whoa! If you know what I'm saying, clowning. Right. Okay.

So what he's doing, how do we describe what he's doing? I'm too much of a lady to describe that. Where's Josie? She'll tell us.

Okay. I think Josie is getting some air. So I guess what we'd have to say is this is stump? Is that okay to say?

Yes. Is that a politically okay thing to say? We can call it, yeah. We can call it, yeah.

Nub. Nub, an appendage. A stump is good. Stump and appendage?

Stump sounds sexier. I don't know, appendage sounds like something a frog might have. Stump, you know, it reminds me of stump fucking. Which I went to prison for.

We, of course, Max went to prison for, but we should give a backstory there. he published the Annie Sprinkle Report and other publications, which included some depictions of Annie stump-fucking Long Jean Silver, who you might know is a porn star who is missing a foot and she has a stump that is quite useful, such as your arm.

Interesting. So we of course defended the case because some people are physically challenged or we can't discriminate against them. They can use their stumps.

Exactly. In those days they actually considered it an obscenity. Oh yeah, it was an act of doubt. There were various things that they considered obscenities and they considered certainly

what we might call disabled person or whatever the politically whatever expression is, but people who are not fully abled, that to be an obscenity. This was very much a revolutionary moment when you overturned this and I guess you weren't kept in prison over this.

That was over something else. No, over something else. But it's all freedom of expression. That's a 23 times.

23 times. That makes a lot of sense. Yes, yes, yes, yes. And we were originally going to have Bree Walker on the show who is a friend of yours and

somehow, I don't know, she got her dates mixed up. You can tell me about that. Okay, tell me about that. Well first off, thanks to Max.

You can fuck girls on film now. That's good. Yes, absolutely. That's what we're talking about.

Bree Walker is a little more than a friend to me. I've known her for a while. I've held her hand and I think with Bree Walker and I love her and she's a wonderful guest.

She's been a guest on my show many a time, but when it comes down to something sexual like I want to take her to a fetish event or something a little deviant and sexual, she'll say yes and then last minute say I can't. Really?

Because of her public image and the lampply thing. I was not going to expose her in that way, but you being her friend, I guess you can. Well. And you just did.

But she's wonderful. I was going to just assume that she had some... Well, because if she came here, I would be forced to have sex with her. Ah!

I mean, not forced, but it would be an obligation. See, it's the Cosby Cocktails again. No Cosby Cocktails for me. Clown will tell you, I don't need those.

I mean, you know, I have all kinds of people on here. I've had Gloria all read on this show. Really? Yes.

How is that? How is that? Betty Page was on it. Betty Page was on this show.

Timothy Leary. Wow. Timothy Leary was on it. Do your research.

Who did Timothy Leary fuck on the show? Nobody that I saw, but it could be in the ladies room. Yeah, you know, it could have fucked somebody. And now you're sitting next to a clown and a topless man in the nose, in the clown nose.

And an amputee. He's not an amputee. He was born like that. How dare you, Elizabeth?

Yes. Now you have to give him a lap dance. All right. Well, anyway, hopefully Brie will come on the show sometime when you're not here, so she's

not so embarrassed. Yes. So we'd love to have her on. So she won't be so turned on.

She'll have to have sex. That's the thing. She doesn't have to. Nobody has to have sex.

What do you... What is that? There is no obligation. But yes, there is stop herself.

Oh, because she saw me. That's another thing. That's what he's saying. We're not going to ruin everything.

Clowlin's showing amazing restraint right now. He's bragging about his manly, uh, pelvic... And by the way, Dr. Susan... Stress.

Powers. I'm... Proud of the way Dr. Susan... ...see those pelvic sore shoes.

Not going to stop them. That's quite some voodoo. Yes. I've seen Clowlin Monroe in the buff.

And I was a little disappointed because her feet were normal size. But other than that... Stop lying. Stop lying.

Her body is so amazing. Prove it. The bloodshot to my penis so fast I'm amazed I didn't pass out. It was amazing.

Now, see, I'm figuring you're wearing like some sort of clown suit. It's a pinstripe. Like him underneath, maybe. I don't know.

I have bloomers underneath just like Clowlin. We have matching bloomers. So... My panties.

Bloomers. Knickers. And bonkers. My panties.

All right, so... Don't tell anyone I showed you. You do something with your stump that we would like to know more about. I was trying to change the subject.

Only with clowns. But, uh... Make it acceptable for Elizabeth. I do children's parties.

I don't know if I can say that. Not anymore. Not anymore. Bar Mitzvahs now.

And, uh... What I like to do is if I could get a volunteer from the audience. Like, here we go. Here comes a volunteer.

And she's already got a clown nose on. She has the clown nose on. We're going to... I don't want to burst anybody's bubble.

But once you've had nub, you'll never go back to do handed love. Always the same. This might be the first time you've done it with a condom, right? Okay, so we are now putting a Glyde America condom on...

Glyde condoms are safe for fisting. This stump... Is this an extra large, or what? This is a maxi.

Okay. A maxi. Right, because, uh, yeah. That's what you need here with this stump.

I'm going to excuse myself. Yeah. Excuse me. She's going to put it on with her mouth.

No. Are you? Yes, I think that's a good idea. Can you?

I don't... I'm pretty sure she can. I think she shares the opinion of whoever thought that stump is an obscenity. This is actually a first.

Let me get back to this one. Wow. She has his stump encased in a Glyde America condom. Let's do a simulation.

Yes. Okay. But Glyde condoms are safe for fisting. Are they not?

Or nubbing? I think so. No, yes. Is that what we call this?

Nubbing? That's what we're calling it now. He's copyrighted the term nubbing. Seriously.

Or stump-fucking, is another term. Stump-fucking would be the leg. This is the nubbing. All right, all right.

Come on. I don't want to see this. I think this is still a stump. I'm not sure.

Oh, no. You're the doctor. You're the medical. This is a different stump.

I'm just a guy in a pinstripe suit and white makeup, so I don't know. Yeah, yeah. Where's the... Yeah, you'll go that way.

You want to hold the microphone in front of you? I don't know if we have a condom for my tongue, but... Yes. Okay.

So here we go. Oh. There it is. Oh, yeah.

Okay. Well, oh. Going into your back door, actually. No, you got to wiggle it.

You got to wiggle it. Oh, my God, that's amazing. Well, so I think we should switch camera angles on this one. I want to turn around.

I was wondering when this show would be worthy of the name. Carnival Carnival. The Carnival Carnival has begun. I think it is now.

Ladies and gentlemen, step right up. We're coming around. All right. Is this the...

Okay. Now. But step right up. You need to turn around so they can see your nose.

Oh, yeah. You got to... Oh, yeah. Oh, that's it.

Come on up here. Come on up here. I need help. Well.

Where's your nose? Here. It's planted as deep as you can. Come on.

Oh, I like the pressure. There we go. All right. Deeper, deeper, Joe.

Deeper. That's not the first time. All right. Looks like something's really going on.

It's going to look so great as with your stump. It makes it look like you've got your fist all the way up. It looks like you've got your arm in there almost. That's the whole thing.

I got to see how that looks on camera. Well, wait. Ooh. It looks pretty good from here.

Where should I put it? Oh, my God. Oh. No, no, no.

I'm going to get you out of there. Wow. There's some health bags. Wiggle it.

Wiggle it. Oh, my God. That actually, Joe, that's really fucking awesome. I've been trying to tell you.

Wow. We've known each other a long while. Oh, actually. That.

Okay. Does anybody have a hacksaw back there? Sort of. Oh, my God.

The vibrating things. Oh, my God. Yeah. Now, do boys tell you to smell their fingers?

Do you like smell my stump? No, I want to smell them up. Since I have a condom, I'm going to have to wash it. I was never going to wash it again.

But now you made me. That's the ass. Oh, my God, Joe. Yes, please.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. See? This is quite a carnal, carnival sex act. This is a carnal sex act carnival.

He's like on the middle now. He is a stump rubbing. Stop that. I've been stumped.

Nub rubbing. He invented the term nubbing. All right. That's the royal nubbing.

Okay. Let's hear it. Oh, thank you. No, thank you.

Joe, can I smell your nub? You can. How do we recover from that? Thank you.

We'll do something later. More where that came from. Oh, yes, please. Wow.

I want to smell that. Wow. And now we have the condom. I'm going to sell that condom.

He really does. To the highest bidder. Oh, look at that. Dark Mark is putting the condom on his nose.

The Glide America condom is now on Dark Mark's nose. He's inhaling. You don't know where that's been. Wait, and you're inhaling the side that the nub was in,

not the side that her. Yeah, I think he's got that side. He's going to miss me. Well, he's gone.

Right. He's going to say that. I broke it on my nose. This is a bro thing, huh?

He's inhaling your stumps. Trust me, I'm not, yeah, no, I'm inhaling Elizabeth's wonderful. Oh, that's what all the guys say. I feel like Dennis Hopper and Blue Velvet.

Whenever guys are in threesomes, they always say they're doing the warm up here. Now let's hit the fucking road. Yeah, okay.

Mmm, that smells good. Oh, thank you. I never thought I'd smell your ass before I left town, and now I have.

It's wonderful. Hey, the night's not over yet. Oh, really? Oh, my goodness.

Okay, are we going to have any Bonoboville communion tonight? Am I going to see any tits? Yes, some tits. Okay.

You read my mind, Dr. Block. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's get some communion. I got a bunch of guests who have issues. No. Yeah.

Could I do some stump, some stump communion tonight? Yes. And then he could do some boobies. Didn't you just do some communion?

Now we've only got a minute, so I think we're going to wind it up anyway. Okay. All right. We don't get no Bonoboville communion tonight.

Oh, dear. Clowns? No sad clowns. I lost my clown and my other clown.

Ellen, Josie. Clowns are the more. Okay. I'm going to do you for Bonoboville communion.

Yay! They're coming. They're coming, Dr. Block. They're going to use themselves.

We didn't want to crowd the space. Oh, crowd the space. Clown the space. Where's my salt?

Right here, girl. Where's, okay. You want to be without your nose? Really?

I think you look good with the nose tonight. Yeah, agua. Here we go. All right.

A quick Bonoboville communion. We're back. Did you miss us? And there we go.

We have Aliyah Corsets. And Miss Aliyah Corsets, by the way, is featured in the Pleasure Compound in Citizen LA. And you should all follow her on Twitter.

And you should all like her page on Facebook, right? That's right. But you're not on Facebook yourself. It's just that you should be, you know,

that we could communicate with you. But anyway, that's for another time. So, okay. So this is Bonoboville communion.

It's just a ritual we do here that involves freeing the Nipple because it was another theme that we were going to have tonight somehow because of Carnival. And the Cosmic Carnival is in charge or is somehow one of

the sponsors of the Free the Nipple campaign that is on the beach of Venice because, you know, why shouldn't girls be able to show their boobs? I mean, if they want to.

I don't make any girls show their boobs. I don't think. Although, you know, some people might think so. But, you know, you don't have to show your boobs.

But if you do, I love you. Okay. So, yeah. Show your boobs.

Ah. This is mine. Luscious. Aliyah's moving to Bonoboville.

Well, LA, actually. I can't see. I can't see. And she's one of our new therapists, by the way.

So if you want some Aliyah Corsets therapy called the Dr. Susan Block Institute. Oh, I didn't do that with my nose. I have blinders on.

Let me know when the dirty part's over. Uh-oh. Okay. And cheers.

Wait. I know, but I got to get the hat. Clown nose without the hat, you know, a little strange. And cheers.

All right. So technically, we're done with the show. But if anyone else wants to do Bonoboville communion, you want to free the nipple?

All right. Let's free the nipple. All right. Woo-hoo.

Here we go. Here we go. Oh, my God. It's good to have a purpose in life.

That's right. These are beautiful. And by the way, they are, you know, they fill out the wrong. Yeah.

Thank you. Oh. There's just something that keeps me coming back. Bravo.

Oh, no, wait. Salt. They say you grow hair on your palms if you watch this stuff. Okay.

You go blind in your stuff. Yes. Very nice. Oh, why just drink one?

How many? Okay. You can drink one. She can drink another.

Yeah. Have another. It's tasty. It's Agua cocoa leaf liquor.

Cheers. Agua, that looks good. It's made from the cocoa leaf. It makes you into a clown very quickly.

Just telling you. All right, brothers and sisters. Mark wants to free the nipple. Let's hear it.

Wait, wait. I want to give some applause. Turn around. Josie Kat.

Woo. Yes, indeed. Okay. So who else wants to do the nipple before we're gone?

I think Mara wants to free a nipple. You want to free a nipple? Okay. Free a nipple.

Free a nipple. Come forward. Mark needs to free a nipple. Okay.

He's going to free a nipple. It's a double nipple triple. He's moving his tie. Hey, we've got Elizabeth Nipple.

Offering. Do you want to do it off of each other? Oh, he's offering it to me. Oh, to you.

No, she gets it. She gets the prize. No, I want to be a good host. I have had too much agua myself.

We will train. Take it. Here, sit. Sit.

Sit with me. I will hold your hand as she, do you like my nose? Oh. Put that nipple back.

That nipple does not need to be freed. Oh, no, no, no. Here we go. Harness that nipple.

He's licking it. Whoa. Oh, yeah. Whoa.

And the salt. My goodness. This is the body. Nice.

And this is the blood. See, we're vampires, too. The body and the blood. Okay.

Where's the microphone? Where's the microphone? The microphone. And you like the body and the blood?

I like this body that I'm looking at right now. I like both of these bodies I'm looking at right now. All right, all right. Here.

Here. Oh, he's got a wiggly tongue. Oh, he's very sweet. Wiggle wiggle.

I'm so sorry to see you go. Okay. Oh, look at this. Slurp dangling from the nipple.

And he just sucked it right off. He sucked me off. Very, very slurpy. Oh, and clowns.

Black lipstick on her nipple. You know what? That's revenge, Dr. Susie, right? Remember when I got lipstick on you?

Clown Lynn is hiding. I thought she was a sexy clown. She's a very sexy. I'm sexy.

But. But tell me, Clown Lynn. Tell us. Tell us.

Sister Clown Lynn. In a PG-13 rated way. PG-13. A pasty way.

Ah, but I've seen you in pasties. In a Jessica Rabbit sort of way. Oh. But what happened?

But the pasties, no? Yeah, well, yeah. That was not a well nipple. They're beautiful.

Oh, it's the nipple. We don't freeze the nipple. You are giving us an insight into why the Nipple Campaign is a critical platform.

Well, actually, I see them go by. I was the snake lady. Yes. At the Venice Beach Freak Show for a few years.

Sangora, the snake lady. And they would always stop in front of me and say, Take off your top. And I always would say, you know, this is a family show.

This is more. Sorry I can't. Well, that's a little push. That is pushy.

I feel for you. You've been assaulted by feminists or something. I don't know. Free the nipple.

By Midwestern. Nipple. Nipple. I've got to tell you, Dr. Black, you don't know what to mean.

Well, children look up to me. I don't want to be like Peewee Herman. But children like nipples, too. I mean, actually, let me just say something here.

Nipples on women are not any more sexual objects than Lips. I'm all for nudism. I mean, it's not like it's genitalia.

I'm all for nudity all the way. It's just nipples. I'm all for nudity all the way. I've done the marathon in San Francisco twice.

Oh, okay. The beta breakers. The first year I was not clown on Monroe. I was just an old clown.

Yeah. I understand. Sometimes you have to be in the mood for nudity. It's got to be the right.

I did do it in a nudity stance. The nudity. Right. I feel like with your nipples out, I should.

It's sort of a mutual thing. Does that mean more alcohol? You'll get even more naked, Josie? Yeah.

Is that a fact? Oh. More alcohol? You know how usually helps women?

All right. Bartender. Bartender. Could you get some pudding pots over here?

You know, so hot. Two while you're there. Please, Mr. Get some gentle pudding for Josie.

Josie is stepping out. Yes. Nipping out. Nipping out.

Nipping out. Nipping out. Nipping out. But we already nipped out.

Well, we did. We nipped out pretty good. But you know. We're waiting for Kalanalan to nip out.

There it is. Where's mine? We've all nipped out except for Kalanalan. Where's mine?

Well, that's a good point. And she? Wait, what for Kalanalan, too? She has good nipples.

I thought you were getting me mine. It's on the counter already. I want a lap dance. Thank you.

Joe? You asked. No, no. You want to give Joe some lap dance?

No, come back. Can I have a lap dance? Josie. Can he do that?

You're the boss. Yeah. You're the boss, lady. Well, I, I, I like to get people to do what they want to do anyway.

I don't really like people doing that. He ran off. Apparently he doesn't want to. People see you.

Otherwise, I get a raise. Okay. So back to Kalanalan. What about Kalanalan?

Kalanalan. Thank you, darling. Kalanalan. You're sweet.

Back to Kalanalan. Why would you vary now? I think we're going into overtime. We're going into overtime.

We're going into overtime. We're going into overtime, which means something has to happen. I think we need a spank train. Something has to happen.

Can I teach everyone that? A spank train. A spank train. As long as we're not meeting spankers.

It was a dark mark show. All right. I guess. We all get in line.

We can easily do that. It doesn't involve any boobies. People seem to have issues with showing the nipple tonight. It's interesting.

We all showed our nipple. But it's okay. You did it. We all did.

You did do it. And that was great. So now you want to do a spank train. I want to do a spank train.

A kind of a finale. We did an honorary spank train for the dark mark show. Everybody up here. In a line.

Like a conga line. I'm going to say. Would you rather see a Sybian ride or a spank train? Ooh.

That's a tough one. Sybian. I want to see a Sybian ride. She's going to do a Sybian ride.

I'll do the Sybian ride. You are? Okay. I'll be your cheerleader.

Bring the Sybian ride. There we go. Sybian ride. Get it.

I've never seen a Sybian ride. Are you not dark mark? Then we are going to have a Sybian ride. All right.

You do the control. And so. There you go. Let us bring forth the machine.

The machine. Brothers and sisters. Okay. The machine is going to take center stage on.

Wait, where do I? Let me get out of that. The womb room platform. Here it comes.

It is. We can't find a glide America condom large enough for this. So we have Saran wrap. And it is measure B compliant.

Okay. Here I need. I need. Aaliyah by my side back here.

So Joe, next time you got to bring your condoms for this. Okay. Yes. I really think you should.

Okay. She can. A clown. A clown.

Sybian ride. Well, but I think you should have a nose on during this. Yes. A nose.

There's a nose over there. There's a nose. So. Here's a nose.

Okay. Hold on. Okay. And.

Mark over here. May we have boobies. Boobies. Please.

Mark. We are. We are freeing the nipple. We are freeing the nipple.

And we are riding the Sybian for Mark Dark's final. Dark Mark. Okay. You know, I was calling Orpheus black, black Orpheus too.

I kind of do that. But I. Okay. Dark Mark.

Okay. I haven't turned it on yet. Oh, it is working. Yeah.

You got it. Do I have to explain? I think I can figure it out. You went to the college.

You went to the college of carnal knowledge. And you know how to operate a Sybian. How's that feeling? Basically the green one doesn't do anything because that's when you have an attachment.

You don't have an attachment. So you want to use this one. This is what brings it up. Okay.

And yes. Indeed. Yeah. And there.

See. Even better. And whack. Whacking helps.

Yes. Yes. Specs are always a good thing. No, I think it's.

Oh. Mother fucker. Give me a mic. commentary mark.

That actually. You're going to say this. That is kind of me. He's going up and he's going down.

I know what I like. I like when he is here too. Oh, yeah. Let me suck your nub, Joe.

Come here. Let me suck your nub. Wait a second. Oh, this is.

This is kinky. Okay. This is kinky. Elizabeth is now sucking Joe's nub while I spank Aliyah and they are both riding the Sybian.

And of course, Darth Mark is on the control. And Josie cat is. Suck that chrome off the arm. Yeah.

Suck all those. Oh my God. Are you bleeding? She actually opened wine for that.

Yeah, very wine. There comes a point when a girl is having an orgasm where she can't suck your stump anymore. Oh, I think I'm going to come. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Come. I want to come.

I want to come. I want to come. I want you to come. On the Dr. Susan Block.

I love it. Snack to Aliyah's neck. Was that real? Oh God.

Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. Sound good. That thing is like a chainsaw. It is.

It packs a wallet. All right. So that was quite a nice little climax. And now may we introduce a real clown, the juggling bonobo.

Juggling bonobo come forth. Delray bonobo. Here he comes. Delray.

And he wants some juggling balls or what do you. Yeah. I want to juggle some balls. How many balls do you juggle?

The velvet ones. Yeah. Okay. Here he is.

He's usually tweeting. And he also does some editing. And he is now going to juggle my balls. Your balls are soft.

How do you normally like your balls? Yeah. We call this a carnival. And this is a carnival.

Yay. Delray bonobo. You want to quit way ahead or try something scary? What about that other thing?

You want to bring the other thing in? The ball? No? No balls?

He's got a big ball somewhere. Three. He has three balls. He does.

And he was in, what is the name of the circus you were in? San Francisco or Humboldt County. A Humboldt circus. A Humboldt circus?

A member of the Humboldt circus. Why does that surprise me? It was a fresh and young school. I bet it was a fresh and young school.

We know what Humboldt is. All right. And now you have a purple experience with your purple nose. And here you are.

And you're on the show. Cool. We love Delray bonobo. Thank you for juggling and making this sort of a regular circus.

Carnival. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

I guess you had to miss the juggling too. We had breastfeeding while it was going on. He was actually juggling boobs. Yeah.

Juggling boobs and testicles. Okay. So I think we're going to wind it up. Does anyone want to promote anything?

Okay. Promote. Let's promote. Okay.

This Friday at the dragonfly, I will be singing with Psychocharger, which is a horror rock band. And we are doing a video for horror hound conventions. And it's a cover of the Ramones Pet Cemetery in conjunction with

the remake of Stephen King's Pet Cemetery. Come down be sexy and be a witchy woman. And what about Pussy Pussy Bang Bang or whatever that is? Pussy Pussy Bang Bang.

That's where it's at. What is Pussy Pussy Bang Bang? Pussy Pussy Bang Bang. Are you singing Pussies?

I happen to be singing for the band that's opening up for the event. We're going to have Kitten Navidad, who is one of Russ Meyers' Levers. And she directed many of his Grindhouse videos.

The whole night is Grindhouse. Elizabeth will be dancing with the band. The whole night is Grindhouse night. It's going to have coffee.

You know that movie? For the 70s, most people don't. Go look it up. Pam Grier.

It's going to be a total tribute to all things Grindhouse. And I'll be filming a killer video for Horror Hound, which is going to be the remake of Stephen King's Pet Cemetery. And I need hot chicks come to me.

What night is it? This is Friday. Coming up Friday. Okay.

Day shoot. Day shoot. Is that two? Night shoot.

Is that eight? Okay. Okay. What else?

I want to be in your video. I want you. Awesome. All right.

You have to write a simian with your tits out. No. Make sure that you tune in and watch me. I'm the new news reporter for Hollywood, Lucha Punk News.

Yeah. The microphone. I'm grabbing something, Valak. I'll bet you are.

We're working together, girl. David Chee. I'll be covering events, too, with you. It's not just Susan.

I'll be playing at the adrenaline bar in Las Vegas. All right. Tuesday and Wednesday, the 12th and 13th. I think that's the dates.

But go to gothcomedia.com for all things goth. And go to darkbarkshow.com to see some of our past shows, including some more crazy Nubbery from Joe, some crazy stuff from Elizabeth.

Does that make me a crazy groupie now? And Josie Joggle topless months. She had somebody grabbing her nipple so she didn't show it. Oh.

Anyone else need to promote anything? Just look up on Facebook, the one armed killer. Oh, indeed. That would be me.

And stand up all over LA. So come on out to a show. Joe, come down Friday night. See them dance and sing.

I think I will. I will be there Friday night. All right. So I also want to give a shout out.

I think we're official. Keep it going. What do you need to do? I'm addicted to Joe.

She's addicted to nub. I like that nub, nub. What do you like about it? Well, it's such the tickler.

I couldn't believe that. It was amazing. Would you want to insert it? I would.

You would. Can you handle it? Can you imagine? Can you handle it?

I can barely imagine such an experience. Joe, how many times have you... Welcome to the after party. Into a pussy.

Oh, that's quite an attachment. No, this will be the first time. Oh, you have not inserted it into a pussy? Oh, you should try that.

And why did it take so long? All right. You have three minutes. Well, maybe we'll give him that experience in the after party.

We will see. I do want to give a shout out, speaking of after parties, to Carrie Weisman on Alternat, who did a great interview with me

and quoted the Bonobo way in her fantastic piece on orgies in Alternat. Yeah. Woohoo.

Yes. And, you know, you can define orgies in different ways. Sometimes it's a bunch of people having sex. Sometimes it's a bunch of people in clown noses

with one with a nub rubbing against the other and the other. I mean, it doesn't always have to involve like actual penis and vagina intercourse. There are other ways to be sexual in groups,

as you can see and feel the communal ecstasy. You do it with your friends, brothers and sisters. I do. You do it with, well, maybe not your brothers

and your sisters. I don't say you do just like Bonobos do. Well, that's what I'm used to, my brother. See, I knew it.

The prudes are always into incest. It's true. Yeah, yeah, that's because, you know, they only do it close to home.

Anyway. I'm sorry, that's why I'm so shy. We keep it in the family. I know, I know.

See, I do know that as a therapist, believe me. Yes, we do experience that. We do, right? You're going to get cut off in a minute.

They're publicans, right? They're all doing that with their kids. The clowns. Yeah, speaking of clowns.

Okay, so Bonobos, make like Bonobos, not baboons, right? Bonobo. Make love, not war.

Make love to someone you love tonight, even if that someone is you. I love you. And yes, Bonobos masturbate,

except I have no genitalia, so I can't. I'm a puppet. I'm a puppet. I need a penis or a vagina or something.

Please. We'll make one. Please make one. I love you.

I'm a dick club. I love you too. Breathe in the police. Rain in the police.

Rain in the police. Rain in the police. Give them all clown noses. That'll start to give them a perspective.

Help them out. That would be awful to be shot by a cop in a clown nose. Even worse. You're listening to Radio Citizen One

from the World Wide Web. You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves.

But my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Guards and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy over the phone.

Anytime you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination,

my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you,

role play for you, fantasize with you. No fantasy is too taboo and help you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism,

fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. For more information, call us at 213-291-9497. That's 213-291-9497

anytime you need to talk. You're listening to Radio Citizen One on the World Wide Web.