Valentines in the #MeToo Trumpocalypse

Full transcript of Valentines in the #MeToo Trumpocalypse on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

You need to talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else? You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves, but my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy over the phone.

Any time you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination, my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you, role-play for you, fantasize with you. No fantasy is too

taboo and help you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. For more information call us at 213-291-9497 that's 213-291-9497 anytime you need to talk. You're listening to Radio Susie One on the World Wide Web and now here she is, Dr. Susan Block.

Brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, artists and exhibitionists, voyeurs and connoisseurs, femme-doms and friends, comedians and clowns, valentines and looper-calians. All you children of sex, we are all children of sex, right?

Indeed. We may or may not be children of God. Jesus. Saint Valentine. Adonai, Allah, Buddha, Brahma. We don't know, but until we start cloning ourselves, which we are actually on the way to doing, but until then it's a sperm and an egg and we are all children of sex with a capital X. Can I get

an amen? Amen. Can I get a triple X? Can I get an A women? I want to welcome you to my womb room, baby. Here in Dr. Susie's speakeasy, I am Dr. Susie. The irreverent Dr. Susan Block, your servant and your mistress of the airwaves and the reverend of the church of Bonoboville. And yes, we play the Bonobo way. It is almost

Valentine's Day. Hold your hearts. Valentine's Day. If you're tuned in live, of course this show is an eternal experience in our archives. And so it could be any day, but if you are a romantic like me every day is Valentine's Day. And in a way, no day is as awful as Valentine's Day can be. So, you know, we're

gonna kind of get ready for it here, me and my congregation of friends, lovers and strangers. And it's always very exciting to talk to new people in Bonoboville. Bonobos love friends and lovers. The only Bonobos they like better than friends and lovers are strangers. Yeah, it's exciting. Ooh, they love to

share food and sex with strangers. They could teach us a lot about diplomacy, right? Not being afraid of the other, inviting the other, finding the other exciting, you know? And sometimes that's what you got to do on Valentine's Day, right? I've had a few Valentine's days like that, the old days of the singles

bars. You can't be with the one you love, the love the one you with, you know? And then regret it in the morning. And yeah, Valentine's Day, it's like so wrought with stress and pressure and sugar. Flowers are nice, right? Although the original Valentine's Day is Lupercalia, vloggers, not flowers.

We're gonna really be celebrating that next Saturday because Lupercalia was held on the 15th of February in that romance capital, Rome, ancient, ancient Rome before the Empire, 800 years before the Empire actually. And it was the holiday of whipping, you know? That's the original heart. It doesn't look anything

like the cardiac organ despite the fact that we got this one at USC when Max had his heart operation, right? But it doesn't look anything like a heart that's inside of your chest. No, it looks a little bit like your boobs, your actual chest. And it looks a lot like, here, turn around. Here, turn around.

Looks a lot like a beautiful heart shaped butt, right? That's what a heart is. Yeah. That's a heart. That's a heart. That's the heart. That's what it is. It's a heart. It matches. It doesn't match a thing with ventricles and, you know, all that other stuff, which is groovy. You know, it pumps our blood.

It's great, but it doesn't look like this. This looks like a butt. A well-wipped butt, if you ask me. And this is the original Valentine. That's right. Ah, but Valentine's Day was co-opted by the church. It was just way too crazy. And then Hallmark monetized it.

And now, of course, you know, it's out there. It's been abetted by Bezos, right? And so we're here for therapy, Valentine's therapy, on the Me Too edge of the Trumpocalypse. It's a difficult time to navigate love and lust and kink and dating and valentining. And so we have some experts here.

We have couples and troubles and kinksters and clowns. Because if you don't clown Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day going to clown you. So I'm going to introduce everybody. I'm very excited. I'm sitting right next to Phoenix Dawn, of course.

And she doesn't even have a microphone because we have so many guests. And Mia is right here, over here. She doesn't have a microphone either. Who has a microphone? Let's see. Mistress Mina has a microphone. Hello, Mistress Mina.

Hi. Thank you for having me. I am so excited to have you. You're a virgin to the Dr. Susan Block show. So welcome. Thank you for having me.

And you are a femdom, a mistress by profession. And you are also a valentine. I am. You are in a relationship with this lucky gentleman right next to you.

Very lucky, yeah. Okay, Jake Dill, who is a... Hello, Internet world. Radio personality for, okay, let me get my notes.

Alt 98.7 FM talk show host, Jake Dill. Very well. Yeah. All right. We're very excited to have you. And is this your first Valentine's Day?

Or you guys have been together a long time? It's our first Valentine's Day. Your first Valentine's Day. Woo-hoo.

Wow. Well, I hope I didn't de-romanticize it with all my talk about butts. I know. All your eyes judging us are very welcome. Okay, okay.

Keep judging. Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, couples are on display on Valentine's Day. But we all have to deal with Valentine's Day one way or another.

Singles, couples, truffles. That's like a three-way, I guess. And then there's quadruples and tribes, I guess. And trumples.

Now, trumple stilt skin, or trumple thin skin, I should say. We have him here. He's a big dick head with a little tiny penis. That's so funny. He's a big dick with a tiny penis.

Is that funny? Yeah, well, yeah. And he has a tiny little penis. And, you know, usually he is portrayed with little tiny hands.

In our version, he doesn't have any hands. Because we like him completely restrained. And usually we have this penis pacifier in his mouth. But he told us this week that his true Valentine...

We thought it was Putin. But it's the military. And he wants a military parade. That's his Valentine idea, even if it's not in time for Valentine's Day.

But he did tell us just before Valentine's Day that he wants a military parade. So we're going to spank him with a tank. There goes my hat.

Okay, it's not even a real tank. It's a truck. You lost all your... It's an electric tank. It is an electric tank, and the batteries just ran out. It was an electric tank.

It was. You know what? We should dismantle all these tanks. We should be sending trucks and plain loads of food and supplies to Puerto Rico. That's what we should do.

We should have a parade of trucks and tanks with food and water. And all the things that people need. We don't need this military. Anyway, before I get too carried away with politics and trumples...

And yeah, there's probably trumples out there. People whose relationship is based on nothing but loving or hating Trump, I guess. So I want to introduce this gang of hot-looking people. First of all, Mistress Bella Bathory.

Welcome to the womb room. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you, Miss Pink. You look divine in your Valentine's sweet pink.

Thank you very much. It's not so much a tribe as it is a posse. This is like the same clown posse kind of what we're going with. Okay, okay.

There's a level of sanity and clarity here. Yes, and you are clowns. I met you at Domcon, which was really fun. Domcon is always amazing.

It is. We love Domcon and Mistress Sian and Goddess Soma, and Mistress Porcelain is going to be here next week. Anyway, and of course, Madame Marguerite,

who is now on the Domcon Board of Directors. We're very excited about that. Hopefully we'll get some pull with when I have to do my class. So we are excited to have you.

You won all these awards with your pet, Susie Q. James, who is here and we are welcoming Susie Q back on the show. She has been here before supporting Prop 60. No, excuse me, supporting opposing Prop 60.

What's Prop 60? It's a good thing I got that right before the election. Make sure all the microphones are on. I think the microphones are off over there.

Can we explain what Prop 60 is? Go for it. Well, it's all, it's old news now. You know, this was last year's fight.

I was over, I was here on the Susan Block show informing everyone about this misguided ballot initiative that was kind of a bait and switch that purported to protect health and safety of adult performers but in fact would put our health

and safety at immense risk by incentivizing our harassment. You know, old news. We defeated it by a million votes. We kicked ass and so...

It was one of the few bright spots of election 2016. Yes, before we started crying about Trump. Yeah, it was the one thing that kept me like okay, that we won that and your efforts were so amazing.

Yours too. I mean, it took every single one of us because not, you know, as adult film performers and in this world, we are little marketing. You know, we have the Bonomo tribe, right?

We called the banners and the Bonobos came. We called the banners of all these, you know, and they came and we did it. And we can do it again.

It was a grassroots movement with a lot of grass. A lot of grass. I want to point out we have Ian O'Brien here from FSC. That's point to Ian now.

So he's with the Free Speech Coalition now which is the organization I was with that helped leave the fight against Prop 60 along with the Adult Performer Advocacy Committee

of which I'm the secretary and on the board of directors now. Ian is holding it down over at Free Speech Coalition now and he is a tremendous resource. So Ian O'Brien, everyone. I love you Ian.

And Ian is the only one of you not dressed as a clown or fetish person. He was trying to represent the company wellies. Didn't get the memo.

Or are you just like a vanilla guy who got a job? Look at those boots. There's nothing vanilla about those boots. The boots are real. They are. You use them for Lupercalia.

I just kind of show up and adapt wherever I'm at. So that's what we're doing. All right. Those boots will get you anywhere.

That's what I'm hoping. They were made for walking or something. They're durable. Science is sexy.

Yes. It really is, right? Are we going to have a science march again? Aren't we going to have one of those?

Speaking of science, some of science really sucks like whoever's inventing all these weapons. Stop it, would you?

Okay. And whoever's inventing all these sex toys, keep going. Yes.

And we have a sex toy here. This is... She's a person. I'm not referring to...

Right. I was going to say. But you took it. Yeah.

She almost looks like a doll. You're very cute. You look like a doll. And this is a cadaver.

Let's see. Candy cadaver? Right? Is that you?

Yes. Is that... No. Is that one of your names?

Candy cadaver. Candy C. Aver? It's Facebook. Facebook does crazy things.

Right. It twists reality. It does. Double speak.

It makes you weird. Right. So, okay. Hello, Candy cadaver.

Riding a Sybian already at the very beginning of the show. We often have Sybian rides here. But the beginning of the show means...

It's almost Valentine's Day. We need to calm down. Right? It calms your nerves, doesn't it?

Oh, talking to the gun. Okay. Mike. What's going on with this?

Is this Mistress Phoenix? Is that your name? She's in control of the controller. I just know her name.

She's in control of the controls then. She is your mistress, right? Phoenix. Okay.

Yes. I'm sitting on this. She has my controller. We'll see what happens.

Okay, so turn it on a little bit. A little bit. There we go. Yes.

All right. She's getting ready for Valentine's Day. Oh, my gosh! And her lover is in the right position.

How about that? Do you get to have... Can a sex toy be your Valentine? Candy, the last time I saw you,

you were in this exact position doing the exact thing. And the dress is a clown. You little freak. This flashback to like a week ago.

I can feel the floor vibrating right now underneath me. It's really good. Okay. Well, we are getting into the rhythm.

Yeah, yeah, definitely. Good vibrations. So moving across Phoenix and Mia and me is Miss Quirella.

Missed a lot. Yeah. Oh, you know what? You're so far back there, Quirella.

I feel as though even... Come forward. I just want you to stand up. Would you please...

I didn't want Candy to stand up because she's on a Sybian. But your outfit needs to be viewed immediately. Oh, whoa!

Oh, whoa! Wow! Can we get a turnaround? Let's see that ass.

That ass, though. That is a heart. Excuse me. Almost the same thing.

Excuse me. For just a moment, I just have to prove my point. Okay. I have a point here.

That this is the meaning of the heart. That's the meaning of Valentine's Day. Okay. This is the meaning of Valentine's Day

is this butt right here. That is the meaning. And that is it. That is it.

That it is nothing to do with the organ in your chest. It has to do with Quirella's perfect heart-shaped ass is what it has to do with. So we're dealing with Valentine's Day

and all of its artificially sweetened commercialization. Right. But there is a heart to Valentine's Day and you just saw it in Quirella's ass.

All right. And that is just amazing. It keeps me happy. Okay.

Well, welcome to the womb room. This is your first time here. Does your mistress allow you to use the microphone? Oh, well, this is my, what, fistress?

Fistress. My best fistress. Really? Does she fist you?

No. Funny story, I've actually never been fisted. Really? How did you decide to call yourself fist a lot?

Because I love to fist. Oh, you do the fisting. I do the fisting. I see.

No one has yet to fist me, but I'm seeking the opportunity this weekend. Right, right. We have a big plan.

Really? This weekend. This weekend. Uh-huh.

We're going to Disneyland, so anything's possible. Oh, in Disneyland, that's where you do the fisting. When you're on the small world ride. You know, small womb, small world.

Right. Works. What are you going to tell us, too? Have you ever had sex at Disneyland?

No, we're not going to get you out of Disneyland. Do they still have the small world ride? Oh, yeah, they do. We'll still do.

Where's everybody going for their Valentine's Day? You. Yeah. How about the day itself?

Wait, first we have to introduce our old friend. Oh, yes. Okay. I saved the...

Well, he's not the... I don't know. Maybe he is the best. He could be the best for last.

And this is the one, the only. It's Michael Vegas. Yeah. Yay.

Yay. Hi, Dr. Sussman. We are so excited. Come on, show us your outfit.

Let's have the boys. Yo, yes. See, I knew that would be a good move, right? Right.

Ooh. Okay. Ooh. Whoa.

Nice. You've really gotten talented. I mean, you were always talented, but you have new talents. You are just perfect.

Sorry to my microphone. Oh. I forgot how to person. It's okay.

You're just a clown right now. Right. All right. So, Michael Vegas, welcome back to, you know, the Dr.

Susan Block show. Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be at your new... Well, new to me.

Yeah. I haven't been to this location yet. It's so wonderful. It's like a wonderland.

It's a wonderland. I want to crawl and sneak and jump and climb on things, in things. You know, yeah. And around things.

And that seems to be what you generally do. Was what you did in our old place. So you might as well do that. It was great.

I walked into the front office and immediately saw myself getting a blowjob on the balcony. Right. A picture of that. Oh, right.

Yes. Yes. I felt so honored. Right.

Oh, wow. That's so cool. That's true. That's a good memory.

A fire escape. It's the fire escape picture taken by Jux, I think. Is that one taken by you? True story.

I think so. I believe so. That was maybe your first night with us. I think that was the second night.

The first night I definitely drank some Laotian snake whiskey or whatever it was. Oh, okay. So you don't even know whether it was the first or the second night. There was the pool table also.

We had reptile turpentine bottle. I don't know what it was. Yeah. Well, we had some good times in the old place.

We have some good times in the new place. I think for more than a new good times in the new place. And so like, how'd you hook up with all these crazy clowns? Well, being a clown was definitely how it started.

That's how I met Mr. Speller Bathory. We went and clowned around Hollywood as clowns do. Now, is there a clown dating app of some sort? There should be.

Clounder. Oh, shit. Clounder. We're launching in 2018.

Right. Near the end. How about it? How about it?

I mean, you know. Clown for clown. It seems to make sense for me for dating, for professional purposes, for porn. Clowns need to know where other clowns are.

Like it should be like, you know, Grindr locations. Right. You know, what clowns are around. No kids.

No kids. No kids. Kids don't really like clowns. Kids are scared of clowns in any way.

So kids aren't for clowns. And by the way, all you clowns, you've got to talk into your microphones. Don't talk outside of your microphones. Okay.

Now. Okay. So what do clowns do for Valentine's Day? We rip up pictures of our exes while looking at Hooters.

And we go visit David Bowie's star on the Walk of Fame. And we go to Disneyland. And we fist each other. Oh, yes.

Yeah. All at the same time. Ideally. You know, squad goals.

Yeah. If we get the fish chain long enough, we can do all of the activities at the same time. Okay. So you also have a rubber chicken.

Just in case. Okay. So. You've got to be prepared.

Is this for spanking or sucking or? Cooking. It's dinner. Really?

Oh boy. Snacks. I know you guys like latex, but. You know, steady diet.

Okay. So how about couple number one over here? What are you going to do for Valentine's? Day.

Night. Tell us about the night. Oh my God. Well, then the secret's out.

Then the whole thing is ruined. It's a surprise. No, she knew there would be a nighttime. Yeah.

Oh yeah. That's the surprise. Surprise. I sense stalling, right?

No, there's no stalling. I know what's happening. Okay. Do you want to just tell me in my ears secretly?

I won't tell anyone. You want to know the plan? Here's the plan. Okay.

Our first night together was at this hotel. And I plan to get in a night in the same room as that hotel. That's a good idea. And create some photos and videos.

And have a great time together. That was their first time together. Oh, it was your first night together. The first sex.

I wasn't judging. I mean, we've all been there. You meet great people in hotel rooms. Tinder is great.

You never know. Carry on. We had been together for a little while before that happened. And so that's the idea.

And other special little things. Awesome. Now how did you two meet? Take it away.

Well, it's so funny. We had been following each other on social media for a while. And I came to the point where I had a podcast. And I invited her to be a guest.

Classic move. Yeah. And it's so funny. It's so funny.

I do that with people. Because it's so funny you said that. Because I was oblivious to the idea of that being a pickup line. And now I'm like, oh, it obviously fucking worked.

Definitely a pickup line. Yeah. But at the time I was just like, well, you know, she's very attractive. But I had no expectations in the whole thing.

I was like, I was having her on the podcast. And no expectations whatsoever. And it was a great pickup line. Who knew?

So did you know she was a mistress? Oh, definitely yes. That's why you had me on the podcast. Yeah, that's exactly why I had her on the podcast.

Which podcast episode? You interviewed her. And can we listen? Yeah.

I mean, this is a personal show. I asked you beforehand if there are any questions you didn't want me to ask. And you didn't say anything. So, I mean, are you a kinky guy?

Am I? I don't know if I would consider myself a kinky guy. My big, if you call it a fetish, I don't even know if it's a fetish, is just pleasing the woman.

Pleasing the woman. So you're into cuckolding. No. Ooh.

So cuckolding and financial radiation. Well, take that ball and run with it, girl. Just run across the finish line of another country. You know, I'm so into it.

Tell me about it. Cuckolding is a different thing than making the woman come. It's true. Not necessarily.

Not really. Oh, for some of my experience. But for most people, probably, yes. This is an interesting debate that could be had on a Valentine's Day,

but maybe not the first. It's just the first Valentine's Day. Right. We've had a cuckolding conversation before.

It could be that something that comes up. You're going to tell us more about that. I wouldn't mind watching him, but I guess he'd like watching me. You wouldn't mind watching him with another woman?

No, I wouldn't. Or another guy. I don't think that's that. Are you serious?

Do it. Touch, touch, touch, touch. It's that Valentine's Day conversation. How do you have it?

I would be turned on. I should be saying thank you. Okay. MFF threesomes are the MFF threesomes of today.

I'm sorry. MFF. MFF. Guy, guy, girl threesomes.

Are the girl, girl, guy threesomes of the new millennium. Girl, girl, guy threesomes is so 1998. Which was a good year. Me.

I'm getting it all. I think all the different competitions are good. Trump started taking us back. Just float that journey, buddy.

Okay. So your combos, what kind of combos do you do? Okay. So let me, I'll explain this a little bit.

Let me try it. Okay. So you're a Valentine. Susie is my partner.

Susie and I met at the porn awards a few years ago. So you're a Valentine. Yes. Susie is my partner.

Oh, yeah. Let's have a kiss. Oh, a better kiss. More of a kiss.

Oh, deep. Our lipstick. Oh, yeah. Not too much.

We only kiss like that in private or on performance. And then Michael Vegas is Susie's partner. And Michael Vegas, they're moving in together to make Susie's life easy. Okay.

So you are our first Valentine's Day. And then you are Valentine's Day. Second, third Valentine's Day. Okay.

And then Queer Ella fist a lot is like my life partner. And we gallivant around the country going to weird fetish inventions. Your life partner. Yeah.

We were born on the same day. We like to fist next to each other. We try not to fuck each other. We share partners.

You try? What do you mean? You try not to fuck each other. Sometimes you have to.

Or just each other. You want a microphone? Do we have a mic? We don't at all.

We fucked each other. It was like the most romantic thing that ever happened to me when I got to fist my love. That was on full sun. That's when I met you.

It was my very first fisting. Queer Ella fist a lot. I was there. Romantic.

It was very romantic. Your very first fisting. Friendship bonding. That's really how you connect with somebody.

And then Candy over here is Queer Ella's ex-girlfriend who is my best friend. And we've just been in a very close relationship where it's, you know, what are boundaries and lines, friendships, lovers, co-workers, all the same. Queer people and sex workers have historically had to form ourselves into tribes like this

because so many of us are disowned from our families. And so like polyamory, non-monogamy, tribal relationships, whatever you want to call it, it makes sense not only because we're like sluts and stuff, but like for survival. This is a very real reality that a lot of I think queer people and sex workers

and other marginalized community people face. And you release some of the pressure of Valentine's Day and stuff like that. You know, putting all your hearts in one candy box. We had a moment, I think it was yesterday, I was like, oh, Valentine's Day.

It was last night that we were at a show and I was like, oh, Wednesday is Valentine's Day and Michael looked at me and was like, I have nothing planned. I'm a terrible boyfriend. I was like, did you remember that we don't do the normal things?

We already have a plan with the entire Valentine's Day thing about it. Like there's a whole five-person event that we're doing that you're fine. What are you going to do? Well, I'm going to say that Susie and I were very kind and this was our tradition that we started

and we opened it up to the entire family because we want it to be like a communal thing. So we go to Hooters and we rip up photos of our exes and we eat free chicken. Oh, you're really going to do that? I thought that was just Michael Vegas' fantasy.

No, no, no, this is not even this idea. No, it's this thing that Susie and I did. And then last year on our way to Hooters to do this, I was driving by the Good Lord David Bowie star and I started crying

because I realized that Amon didn't have him. Good Lord David Bowie. In case you missed that, I want to repeat it. Yeah, so we stopped and we visited David Bowie's star to bring him like candy and stuff

because Amon didn't have him. And I just like laid on his star and like sang with this Italian woman that was like me in the future. It's funny you're talking about, you know, worshiping David Bowie's star. Last week we talked about pissing on Trump's star.

Oh, yeah. That's what the dominatrix is against Donald Trump. Trump really. Gag.

He's under gag order. Every day. But yeah, that's what we do for Valentine's Day and it's a group activity and it's, you know, a family bonding thing. I've always liked Valentine's Day.

You remember in elementary school, you would get Valentine's for your whole class and pass them out and they're like, that is still how I think of Valentine's Day. Like Polly or not, I think that is an early sign of maybe like Polly tendencies. Liking giving everyone in your class a Valentine just a little too much.

Well, there is this really strong communal foundation to Valentine's Day. It turns out this holiday of artificiality and exclusivity, you know, all focused on a couple, started as a communal release of energy and an inclusivity, a feeling of inclusivity. Everybody could be involved.

You could be in love and you might just run off with your partner, but you could also just get whacked with the lucky February, you know, and maybe get lucky. So I think we're kind of bringing back Luper Cali in a way, you know. Heck yeah.

So okay, so cool. So you guys are all exciting and I'm just wondering what time is it, 11.10. So should we do a little demo of something or other, or should we do a Bonoboville Communion?

Is that shots? Daddy, I think you should do a Bonoboville Communion. This is my first time at Bonoboville. So you have to take communion.

And she loves religious play. She's a huge religious fan. If you've got a crucifix, God is watching.

I do actually have a crucifix. Oh, you're Jack Hammer and Jesus. Yes, Jack Hammer and Jesus. How long before that burst into flames?

You know, the church did take over Valentine's Day, so we have the Jesus Jack Hammer here. And yeah, I mean, Bonoboville Communion is kind of a takeoff on regular communion, Catholic communion,

whatever kind of communion you've got. You're already communion with your Valentine. Have you communion yet, or are you just coasting? Well, she's communing.

She hasn't like hidden climactic communion just yet. Whoa. Is that the Sybian making that noise? Oh, okay.

Oh, what else would it be? You're driving the Sybian and she's honking the horn. Right, it's like a car. Yeah, absolutely.

Whoa. Well, okay, so who wants to do communion? You're volunteering people. Daddy and daddy.

Daddy for daddy. Daddy for daddy. So Michael Vegas is a pig daddy, and I am Barbie daddy to little Miss Susie Q.

So we've both got daddy status. We're just very different kinds of daddies. Yeah, Susie has two daddies. Susie does have two daddies.

It's 2018, y'all. Susie has two daddies. Okay, so now when we do communion, somebody is the altar and somebody is the recipient.

I love Satan. I'm really into this. So is that like topping and bottoming, Freddie? You know, it's done different ways.

I mean, you know, an altar could be a top and say, lick me, worship me, and you lick up the salt and then you get waterboarded. I love waterboarding.

Yes. But it's an easy waterboarding here in Bonoboville. We're not really getting too serious about that. But what we are doing it with Agua Coco-Lieflicher,

here we go. This is our green blood of Christ. Oh, pretty sweet. And so, you know, this is what you're waterboarded with.

And so I don't know who's dominant and submissive. I think it depends on your personality, how you take either one. It's just rolls in a commune, right?

Let's just go daddy for daddy on this one, big daddy. You're going to both be daddies. That's the conclusion. Well, the last time we did a black mass,

which is a Satanic parody of the Catholic mass. Hail Black Philip. Hail Black Philip. Michael was the altar.

So we can keep with that tradition. Okay, would you like to be the altar tonight? He's great at it. And so it involves some licking.

Is that okay? The licking of the altar. I feel like I'm probably more prepared to be an altar if there's fluid splashing.

Yeah. Fluid splashing? Well, we're going to change that. The fluid would be saliva licking up any part of you.

You can lick. I'm just living out all of my Jane Mann's Philip fantasies right now. Like it is weird.

Try village and take things off of me. I'm ready to be the altar. Okay, well, first, because you look so good and I didn't ask you to stand up,

I would love to see this outfit, this fantastic latex pink confection here on Mistress Bella Bathory. And whoa, whoa, whoa.

Are you naked under that? Of course I'm naked. Of course she's naked. Whoa.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. A little Vibishine. A little bit goes a long way though.

Be careful because it's not a squeezy bottle. Just a little tiny bit here. May I? Okay.

Let me do this with you. May I? Yes. Oh, you've got the two Susies on either side of you.

Just rubbing your beautiful latex pink dress. And your heart-shaped mouth. It's important that your altar shines appropriately. Yeah, the latex needs to shine.

Susie, I think you missed the spot. Double check. You're rubbing very, very well. Okay.

All right. So now you're well-rubbed. And so the salt has to go on a, like, skin part of the body. Not the plastic part.

So we could put it on anything you like, really. Boobs are a classic. Do you want me to stand for this? Or sit?

You could be sitting right here. Okay, great. All right, I'm ready for this. You can sit right here.

And you can be right there. And, okay. Do you guys ever do double communions? Okay.

We do do double communions. Yes. We do double communions if we would like to do that. We can actually do it on a thigh.

Yeah? Thigh. Okay. I'm wearing a lot of thighs.

I haven't got panties on, so I think I'm going to... Well... I don't have a problem with that. Even better.

Yeah. Okay. I just love this. So he licked the thigh, and now we have the moment of...

I just want to say thank you, Dr. Susie, for making sure that the salt matched my dress perfectly. It does. Yes.

It's pink salt. Yeah, no, it's a formula. Pink salt. Okay.

Lick it up there. Clown. From the Himalayas. Oh, yeah.

Oh, he's going for it. Outer thigh, whatever. And glass. I need one of those glasses.

Yep. There we go. It's a mouthful of lube. Now...

We have a salt. We have a salt. We have a salt. Is that nice?

We are going to waterboard you, bonobo style. Okay. If you actually... I want to try something.

If you could... I'm going to spread my legs. Actually, usually you spread the legs. Spread the legs.

I'm going to pour the awkward down. I just saw her pussy. It's beautiful. It's shaved.

It's nice. I can do this situation. Like walking in and your periods having sex. Oh, there we go.

What are we going to do here? We're going to do a water slide. Really? Yeah, there we go.

There we go. So pour for my tits, and we're going to do a water slide for my tits. Okay. Okay.

Water slide. Here, you hold her microphone. But don't... Okay.

Don't strangle the clown. So we're going to be electrocuted. Here we go. Okay.

From the tips. Oh my God. Water slide. I'm so ready.

You have to put more. Yeah. I love the Olympics. It's like bobsledding right here.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Extreme force. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Got it. Woo. All right. Killing it.

And this is why we started the physics. Well, waterboarded. Just like a good POW. Speak.

Tell us your secrets. Tell us what we want to know. A spritzing, not a waterboarding. Is that a play with you asking for more?

That's not usually how we do it. No. But it's okay. You did it your way.

That's how you're supposed to do it. Water slide. That was great. That was great, right?

It was a new way to do it. Except I think he's going to have to lick this up because it's all sticky now. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh, how's he doing with that? Oh, lick that latex. Lick it up. It looks fun, but also a very inefficient way to get drunk.

Very inefficient, very inefficient. All right. Very nice. Very nice.

Okay, so let's hear it for Mistress Bella Battery and Michael Vegas doing Bonoboville Communion engaging in our religious ritual that we indulge in here at the Doctruses and Block Show. Thank you. So, yeah, you can bring that back to Chicago if you want.

What religion were you brought up with? Roman Catholic. There you go. Can we bring it back to the nice diocese?

Yes. Yeah. All right. So, yeah, so we're very religious here.

We love that. And we believe in communing with each other. So, who else wants to commune before the break? I would love to see some more communion.

Maybe some clown-on-clown communion. Clown-on-clown. Could you direct a little here with your obi's? Good.

Communion. I know that I kind of hijacked it. Lovely boobs here. I would love to see how traditional communion looks.

I hijacked it a little bit. It's good here. You do that. That's what you do.

That's what I do. Yeah. Okay. So, this is Quirella Thistalot, and she seems already dressed for the traditional

communion. Yes. She's dressed for anything. Come on up here, Quirella.

If you do that. Yes. There you go. Are we purging our sins when we do this?

You could say that this is a purification ritual. Purifying. We're always purifying. Well, alcohol does affect so we all know that.

Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. We're always purifying here.

And actually, Lupercalia and the original Valentine's Day is considered a holiday of purification, that whipping. Oh, shit. Oh, purify that shit.

Oh, yes. Absolutely. All right. So, who's doing...

Wow. Who is the lucky... You're going to take it. I've never done it before, so it's my first time.

Okay. You could have a double communion. Do you want to do it together? I think our guest should take communion.

Consent is really important. I would love that. Yeah, you want to do it with me? I need to take my clothes off.

Okay. So, maybe you could move over here and let them go on either side of her. Yes. Much better.

That was true. Hands to cancel. Wait, 2018. Is that considered closed?

Those are closed. Yeah, for sure. All right. What do we need to do?

I'm ready to pray. Okay. Yeah. So, you are going to pray right next to her on that side of her?

Okay. And... Do I need to get down or like what? Well, you should get over here, I guess.

Because I'm assuming the altar would be these lovely boobs that are already on display. But it could be another part. I love that. It could be...

I think it's a good altar though. Maybe I'll give you the mic and tell me... Oh, that's a sticky mic. Oh, it is loopy.

Someone's excited down there. My group's super, super religious. Super religious. What religion?

A sect of Protestant. A sect? A sex? A sex.

A sexy sect. Hence my fetish. Yeah, but we wear a lot of cut our hair or show our skin. Really?

What's the sect? What's it called? Can we know? It's just Protestant.

Yeah, it was a cult mystery sect. Kind of like this, but less sexy. More clothes. So I had to reinvent it and now I just love to praise Jesus.

Alright, well you are. It's secret. Praise be. Praise be.

Okay, so Miss Quirella, were you an altar girl? I played the Virgin Mary. That's disgusting. Very good.

Very good. That's beautiful. I was a choir girl too. And you're still a virgin to fisting.

And your name is Fistelot. That's debatable. So you still have aspects that are very Virgin Mary, right? And such a virgin.

Yes, yes. Immaculate conception is about to commence. My sister is coming. And you are going to take communion, mistress Bella Bathory,

from Quirella Fistelot's lovely nipple. And then me is going to take some from the other nipple. So first you lick the altar. You could kind of do it at the same time.

So I guess you get right over here and you can just do it. There you go. Lick. An eye will be the high priestess of the salt.

There we go. Lick it up. Good girls. Get that spirit of sex within you.

That's right. And now we salt the altar. So, you know, sort of, yeah, here we go. No lime?

Well, you could do it in a lime. I don't know about snorting salt. No. Salt is like something that's been used in magic for forever.

It's like sand thread items. I will say that Agua cocoa leaf liqueur is made from the cocoa leaf. So, but it is perfectly legal. So now you lick the salt, or did you already do that?

Lick the salt. Okay. And now we will do the waterboarding. So why don't you get down first, right between Quirella's legs.

And, yes, back that head up. Oh. Open your mouth. And Mia got waterboarded.

Benevo style. Grace, I didn't get it in your eye. Let's get the lovely Mistress Bathory. I am not going to get on my knees, but I am okay with Quirella putting it in her mouth

and spinning it on me. Oh, all right. No, she should put it in her mouth and spin it on you. So you put it in.

So I'm going to put it in Quirella's mouth and then she's going to give you a snowball, a green snowball, something like that. We'll just switch. We're going to do a roll first.

But maybe you could lean back against her so that, you know, we have a pretty picture. I'll give it to you. Here we go. And hold the microphone down so you don't block her.

The view of her lovely purple lips taking the blood of the Bonobo God. All right. And now you give her the kiss of Bonoboville communion. Oh, wow.

Beautiful. Yes, indeedy do. That's so nice. To clean up your messes.

Oh my goodness. That is, well, really hot, really, really hot. Oh, Quirella, look at you. You are just so sexy.

And, well, mistress Bella Bathory, you are just a pink confection, aren't you? I love my friend. Yes, yes. And both of you, virgins to Bonoboville communion, all of you including Mia.

Oh, and such a lovely congregation of femdoms and friends and kinksters and clowns. Right. How much time do we have? Do we have time for one with the happy couple?

Yes, I'd love to see that. The couple. We have time. Okay, couple.

Okay, this is Mistress Mina and her vanilla boyfriend. That's cool. Yeah, you stay up here. Organize that.

Right. Okay, and look at Mistress Mina. Wow, you are just such a hot little number, aren't you? I can understand why Jake had to have you even though you are Mistress and he's not into all that.

Okay, right. We are rum-rum-rum on the move. This is the mobile, Dr. Susan Block Show. We are going places, even though we're staying in one room.

Okay, so we got a microphone. He's going to be on his knees, right? What's happening? You're going to take the shot.

Okay, so what part of your body can he lick in front of people? Legistically, first you lick the area of the altar. First, I hold the microphone here, and now you lick the altar area, whatever area she offers. Oh, her butt!

Of course, the Valentine's ass. Right. Yes. Nice.

Okay, so now I sprinkle the salt upon the ass. Okay, and this is the greatest shot ever. Okay, here you go. You lick the salt and you are communing now.

Were you an altar boy? No, I don't know. Oh, okay, well now you are a communer. I want to know what I was doing this years ago.

Okay. Yeah. Licking. Not licking the whole thing.

You have to lick up all the salt? The sodium is not good for my blood pressure, but okay. Oh my goodness. Do it for love.

So now, you can lean back between her legs. Oh, she's wearing pretty panties. Blue and pink. Okay, look, he's got his hat on here.

Valentine's Day. Okay, and now we're going to... Can he take the shot? He is taking the shot.

He is the recipient of communion. Okay, lean back a little more so I don't get it all over your beard. Jake got waterboarded the bonobo way on the Dr. Susan Block show. Just like a good POW.

Tell us the secrets. Tell us. Confess. Confess all your sins.

Confess you've been waterboarded. Oh man, that was everything I could ever imagine. I feel like I'm a different person now. Well, the pictures are going all over the internet.

And, you know, the radio station will be very impressed. Oh, I'm sure. He might be a different person actually. If every shot was like this, I would take shots more often.

Oh, well, you could make every shot like this. By the way, this is a helpful hint. This is a good thing to do on Valentine's Day is take your shots with your honey via bonoboville communion.

You know, do some body shots. It gets you licking. It gets you kissing. You know, anything for a drink, right?

It gets you drunk, right? This is the original aphrodisiac alcohol. Right? Okay, if you don't drink, that's okay.

You can use, you know, water, right? No, it's not okay. Use alcohol. It's a lot better.

All right, he said that. All right, brothers and sisters. Yeah. The pre-Valentine's Day communion has commenced.

We are Valentine's in the Me Too Trumpocalypse, and we are having some fun. We are working it, you know? Whether you're stressed from Valentine's Day

or you're, you know, disgusted from the saccharine, corporatized, commercialized Valentine's, well, we got some fun for you. In one case, we have a Sybian writer who is being choked.

Wow. Okay, by Ms. Quirella Fisto. They're really bad. They're just fucking with her.

Okay, don't try the choking at home, okay? Especially if you've never... Make sure not to grab the windpipe. Grab around the sides of the throat.

Never grab the windpipe. Don't even do any of it. Take a course. I wouldn't say that.

Take a course. Take a course on choking. CPR. If you're going to do choking,

you should take a course, I think. Save you third. Right. Of course and choking.

Of course, of course. Of course. Of course. Of course.

Her boobs bouncing or fucking amazing. Wow, those boobs are fun. I would like to see that altar actually. Can we pull that out or is that not...

Can we have a conceptual output... Just before the break, can we see her nipples? No. No nipples.

No nipples. Just enjoy what you got. It's plenty. Well, we are moving into the great break of the Dr. Susan Block show here, and what does

the two mean? Does that mean I have two minutes? Two whole minutes. Oh, wow.

Oh, wow. What am I going to do for two minutes? I guess she's going to get spanked. I actually would love to hear from Brian at FSC and wonder what he's thinking about

this entire debacle. Susie, can you hand Ian your mic? Okay. Okay.

I just want to check in with Ian. Here you go. You know, it's important during a scene to like check in. Help me out with my job here.

Yeah, no, absolutely. I just, I feel like that's a good part of sex to like checking in with your partner. Let's check in with Ian. I brought Ian to your partner.

And you're like a science freak. So how, what's the science of what's going on here? What's your title, Ian? What do you do?

Oh, my title. I'm the director of scientific and regulatory affairs. Oh, panty drop. I get almost.

Affairs. Regulately affairs, Ian. Is that like Trump and Stormy or what kind of affairs? I like how I can't hear anything because of my ears are muffled.

So what's your assessment of the situation? The whole situation. You think he has a fetish for blow up dolls? Probably.

There's something happening there. It's 20 gapeteen y'all. 20 gapeteen. It's all about the gaping.

The gaping. You like the gaping? I like to watch a good gaping. I just, I, the human body is so amazing.

Who does the gaping? You do the gaping. Let's talk to the gaper. Okay, gaping.

Okay. The gaper. Susie is the gaper. Or unless you're also a gaper, Michael.

No. You are. Not a gaper. Susie.

How does it feel to gap? Is it fun? Yeah, it's awesome. Okay.

Well, this is the gap at the break of the show. It's like a gap in between the first segment and the second segment. So we're going to go to the second segment in a

moment. We got Sybian rides. We got rubber dolls. We got tits.

We got brains. All right. And we got Valentine. New headshots.

In the Me Too Trump apocalypse. So don't come yet and don't go away. We'll be right back. Hi, I'm Dr. Susan Block.

And I've just written a new book called The Bonobo Way, inspired by my love for the make love, not war, great apes. You know, the ones who have a lot of sex in a

bonobo sutra of positions, including face to face. But it's not just how bonobos have sex. It's how they use sex to prevent murder and war. Really.

They're the only great apes that have never been seen killing each other. They practice what I call peace through pleasure. With the females gently dominating the very happy,

very sexually satisfied males. Bonobos are special, partly because they just are. And partly because they're very, very close to us. Almost 99% genetically similar to us.

When it comes to being human. Even being humane. Bonobos can teach us so much. Which brings me to us, and more specifically to you.

Is your inner bonobo longing to swing free? Would you like to tap into the hot natural sex energy within you? Bet you would.

So you can better enjoy the pleasures in life. And cope with the pain. You know, the pain. And have more orgasmic, organic, sustainable sex.

Who doesn't want that? Greater lust, greater trust, and better anger management. And who couldn't use a little bit of that these days? So get the book, learn the bonobo way.

You'll be glad you did. Then you'll want to join Bonoboville. A new global village for bonobo lovers and friends. And one last thing, the real bonobos are highly endangered.

So a portion of all book sales go to bonobo conservation groups working to save the wild bonobos from extinction. Read the bonobo way, and learn why this could be the most important eco-sexual movement of our times.

And improve your love life. Sisters, we are going to have a Sybian ride for Masturbation Month. So you've never been on a Sybian before?

No, I've never been on one before. Okay. Now you are ready to ascend the throne. Mr. Tracy, you are going to ride God's machine.

Put one leg right here. Put the other right here. And just position yourself comfortably. Put your clip right here.

Okay, so here she goes. Uh-oh. It's mountain. Sybian.

Have you ever ridden a Sybian, by the way? Oh, I have. Many a times. My favorite horse to ride.

It's fun. Have Sybian yoga and experience it to the fullest. Go for the G-Spot. Go for the clip.

Go for whatever works. We've got for Jim Rado. Ride in to Sibia. Holy shit.

That does the job. Yeah, it's doing it. Sybian strikes again. Yes, I do say that when it feels good.

Live on dr.Suzi.tv from the womb room in Bonoboville. Ride on cowboy. Take a deep breath. Deep breath.

Relax. We never get tired of watching a pretty girl on the Sybian celebrate and masturbation month. Yes.

Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

That is a beautiful thing. All right. Thank you. I think that was a little bit, I think we have orgasm.

We have lift off. We have lift off. . We, We, We, We, We.

B-Sisters Kenny. Testify. That you masturbate and you are not ashamed. How was it?

What's your report? My vagina is so tingly right now. It feels like pop rock. I'm just gonna take this home and take it off.

I think it's bigger than your little body. That is the best product endorsement I've ever seen. Can I leave now? Like, I'm ready. I'm... ...one.

I still think I could at least leave this one. Where's the husband? You got the simian. You don't need the husband. Oh my God!

Don't let her fall over. Whoa! Whoa! Hey, darling girl.

I love you. I love you. That's my girl. We're listening to Radio Susie One on the World Wide Web.

And now, here she is, Dr. Susan Block. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! God and Goddess bless us all.

Welcome back to the Church of Bonoboville. The Dr. Susan Block show broadcasting live from the womb room, baby. Yes, indeed. That's my vulva puppet. That's my vulva. And this is my beautiful congregation of kinksters and clowns

and femdoms and a talk show host. Whatever. Sure, yes. Okay.

Best communion I ever had, by the way. We are having some fun. First of all, it's Valentine's Day, almost. So who wants some chocolate?

Anybody want some chocolate? Have some chocolate? Okay. Chocolate.

Good catch. Yeah. Chocolate. It's an aphrodisiac, right?

Either that or it takes the place of sex. I think probably the latter. But there's more chocolate. You're sitting on the pins.

I'm sitting on the pins. Oh, yeah, we have pins also. Okay. So it's the Olympics this week if you're tuned in live.

Okay. And here's some more chocolate. Who wants more chocolate? And she gets the Olympic catch, yes.

And that's Susie Q. James. And I am Dr. Susan Block. And yeah, the Olympics, the most beautiful Valentine moment, actually, I think, was when South Korea and North Korea

walked in together. Love it. And that's the power of the Olympics, though. That is the power of the Olympics.

But you know, I've never seen that before. And I thought it was a beautiful thing. And, you know, here are sort of some of the athletes from North and South Korea who are recognizing each other.

I mean, we're all brothers and sisters. What is that you have there? It's called an iPhone. We have internet.

Selfies bring us together, though, really. Yeah, selfies bring us together. All kinds of things can bring us together. Except for, of course, Mike Pence doesn't bring us together.

And he was there as a representative of the United States, I guess. But, you know, he chose to take a knee, I guess, to North and South Korea coming in together.

And he refused to stand like other world leaders did. This great love story came forth and the possibility of peace. But, you know, it just shows that... What a heater.

Hitler even pretended to fucking cheer during those Olympics. That's disgusting. Yeah, it's pretty disgusting. And it really, like, reveals.

It's like a strip tease. He's stripping away the diplomacy. And we see that the U.S. really just wants war. We don't want, I guess.

Or at least this U.S. government just doesn't want to... Doesn't want to support the possibility of peace between North and South Korea. Doesn't want to support the possibility of love

between athletes that are probably very close relatives. I just think it's crazy. But, of course, it makes sense when you think about it, because, of course, he represents this guy,

the big baby missile fetishist, who really needs to suck a gun and get spanked by a tank. Spank tank. Spank tank.

With a tank, right? Spanked with a tank. Spank tank. Spanked with a tank.

And that is what you get when you're, you know, the military is your valentine, and you expect a military parade to show what a great Banana Republic leader you are.

You get spanked with a tank. Does anyone want to do some honors? I would like to spank tank. Okay, go ahead.

Come on. Spank tank sounds like shark tank, but... Yeah. Spank tank, shark tank.

Yeah, like spank tank. Well, he likes shark tank. That's what Stanley... Stanley.

Stormy Daniels here. Why don't you come sit up here? And I also have buttons, which I'll give out in a moment.

But first, this is Susie Q. James. And she is spanking... 2018. Trump with a tank.

All right. And I'm gagging him with a toy gun. Everything okay? Yeah.

Yeah? Oh, she's not on it! I'm leaning. All right.

So, yeah, this tank has power. Lay back on your back. It's like a good massage in there. Spank it with a tank.

Spank tank. Yeah. 2018. Spank tank.

And... Spank tank 2018. Maybe we can convince him to make the parade out of toys that you get at the 99 cents toy...

I would love that! Yeah, that would be fun, right? Like, every 10 years I'm pulling that car... Instead of real, real tanks and weapons

that will later be used by our police forces in various cities around America. You know that. Yeah.

Toys and toy guns instead of real guns. Yeah, toy guns instead of real guns. 2018. Let's just, you know...

Make guns into dildos. Right? It's like that movement in Texas. Cocks, not blocks.

Well, what do you think the extension is of the parade to his dick size? Oh, well. I don't think we should shame Trump for his dick size.

Like, lots of people have small dicks. Like, that's not a point. That's not a point. That's the question though.

The question is the correlation between all these, like, mechanisms to, like, make up for some things. Causation versus correlation, though.

Sorry? Like, we're talking science. Causation versus correlation. Small dick to make him a bad leader.

His brain does. Yeah. And, like, people with small dicks. Like, lots of people with small dicks that are fine.

Trans men, for example. I mean, he's all... I mean, he said this on stage. Like, there's no problem.

He's obviously cognizant of, like, people talking about his dick. He's making up for how small he feels inside, not how small his dick is.

Very wise words. Wise clown daddy. Wise. Yes, spoken by a man with a big dick.

So, yeah. I mean, you know, I just feel like it's just, like, the same kind of thing as Russia. Who the fuck cares?

But if it gets this fucker out of the White House, I'm all for it. So, yeah, I don't fucking care about the size of his dick. But this guy is a racist,

sexist, narcissistic, you know... Fascist. Fascist, rapist. Fascist, fascist.

Well, we can add some more is, yeah, to the list. Fascist, fascist. Okay? And, yeah, of course, we don't...

Maybe he just has a button pushing fetish. Well, he does. He likes to push people's buttons. I think that's real.

And he wants to push that one ultimate button, finally. Yeah. And then he tweeted about it. I had the biggest button.

My button's bigger than yours. But if that's not a dick fucking tweet, I don't know what is. I have a bigger button than yours is.

You know, fucking A. You know, I don't want to make bets on the size of his dick. I just want him out of there.

Bank tank. Spank him with a tank. Spank him with a tank. His dick is really not a problem.

No. No. It's his asshole. It's that he is a dick.

That's the problem. Therein lies the problem, but the man is a Nazi. It's his mouth. That's why we have to keep gagging him.

Yeah, his mouth is his shit hole. Wow. Yeah. So, is it an aphrodisiac to talk about Trump?

Absolutely not. Anti-Aphrodisiac. Absolutely not. I don't know.

But it definitely seems like a good political protest can be an aphrodisiac. Absolutely. Speaking of protest, I don't know if you're aware, Dr. Susan,

but there are protests outside the Adult Video News Awards at the end of last month. We had religious fetishists. We had religious fetishists.

That was our portion. We were standing in line for the red carpet at ABN this year and everyone is looking amazing. Everyone's having a really good time.

A bunch of us were nominated for things. And lo and behold, the Westboro Baptist Church was there telling us that- With signs?

With signs. It turned me on, too. I was like, wow. And me as a huge religious fetishist,

I grabbed Susie and we made out and I touched myself a little bit. They were not into it. It's really, really strange.

Did you do anything obscene with the cross? I bet you were. I made sure to broadcast to get his message out on my pornographic platform

so I could give him weird feels about it. Yep, yep, yep. Our friend Robby Echo just gave him a big kind of non-consensual hug.

Just loved it out of him. He was like, I know you're in pain, sir. I know you're in pain, but love is the way. It was actually really amazing to see our community.

Ella Darling and I were hailing Satan and a lot of girls. Lance Hart was dressed up like a slutty cop telling them what's what.

We were at Adult Con and I gave the Bonobo way and one of the boots was run by Jesus Ricks for porn.

Jesus loves porn stars. Jesus loves porn stars. And was that the triple X church? No, it's triplexchurch.com

and they are Jesus loves porn stars. And they rewrote the weird Bible that has everyone saying like, if you get out, Jesus still loves you.

Well, that's where I want to take communion. Not quite. Well, our communion is... Oh, it sounded great.

It's a trick. That's a trick. What you see is what you get here on the Dr. Susan Block show,

but the triple X church is a little bit bait and switch. A bit very bait and switch. Oh, okay. That's how they get you into it.

Yeah. And they had some hot girls hanging out there. Well, that's how you get any guy to any church. Hot girls for Jesus.

All right. Well, anyway, he doesn't care because, you know, just as long as you love him. Oh, and we have buttons.

Button buttons being a button fetishist. And of course, we have democracy now, if you'd like. Ooh, I like that.

Well, I hope that everyone is registered to vote and excited to take our democracy back. I plan on being president in 20 years, so don't worry about it.

Oh, okay. Oh, this one says remove Trump and Pence because if you just remove Trump, it doesn't really...

You got to throw the baby out with the bath water. But Paul Ryan, too. Oh, I hate that. Let's get rid of Paul Ryan.

Oh, but I love his widow's peak. No, there's... Just let him go have a fabulous career in gay porn and like move along with the country, right?

He would kill. He would kill. Vote. Vote.

Voting is important. Voting is important. It's so important. Do it in a mask.

Do it in your clown face. Mask for mask. Ooh, that's an agla mask. Yeah, okay.

Mask fetish. Mask fetish, for sure. All right. We're going to do it.

Can you wear that later tonight when I fist you? You guys keep talking about fisting. It's a big tease. Does anybody want to demonstrate fisting?

I was doing it on the doll. Bring her over here. Yeah, I can show her. Yeah, for sure.

We can do both her pussy hair. All right. All right. So this is Breanna.

I think you can do one or the other. She has traveled the world with me. Yeah, this is another member of our poly family. She's been with...

Yeah, she's been with... We love blow-up dolls. She's started off with... Start with the butt.

This one and I. Yeah, and there's some lipstick here on her blow hole. Lipstick. She has so many holes.

Like what is it? 24-hour lipstick that you wear? Okay, so you're now putting... Four fingers.

Now, see what you just did is you just stuck four fingers in without even not having any... Well, you know that. No salt.

No communion. Give her a warm-up. Michael Vegas has been warming her up. Oh, okay, okay.

I had my fingers in her earlier. Oh, so she's a doll, right? She was gay-teamed. Yeah, she's made out of latex.

Right, okay. So, okay, and honestly, I will say, when I'm receiving the fisting, I don't like...

Don't come at me with your two fingers and wiggle them around. I want large, wide things in my holes. So I actually like...

If you just go with the shape of what it is, you know, it's okay if you... It's pretty thin, but this is not a huge amount going into a hole.

But this is in your asshole because... Yeah, I think that's a pretty big amount going into an asshole. Just to be clear,

for our viewers out there. Okay, oh, and now you're shopping. The holes are different. I was just letting her know what it felt like.

Yes, Max. Letting her know what it felt like. Little peek-a-boo. She's in charge.

She's gonna come back to me. She's in charge here. Max, did you have a question about how to fist a blow-up doll?

Oh, no, not at all. I was just... He's well-versed, I believe. You have to pet her, mostly.

I don't know if she's safe. That's very nice. Does she have a name? Brianna?

Oh, Brianna. The box said Brianna. Brianna. Okay.

Oh, when you fist, you use lube? Yeah, too. I'm asking. I mean, I've definitely fisted someone

without lube before. It's very romantic. But you should use lube always. Yeah, always.

Yeah, for sure. Lube is great. Lube is your friend. Lubrication, lubrication, lubrication.

Just as in real estate, it's location, location, location. So, all right. Well, she seems very happy with your...

So, once you get to the wide part, you really just have to breath, pressure, lube, and time will get basically anything into any hole,

I was told once. Can you get your whole fist into the doll's hole? We need some lube. I suck a pine cone in there last week,

so I never get your fist in. Okay, we have some lube back here. Hang on a second. Hold this.

How's the breath coming into play? I actually have... You know when you, like, relax your muscles when you breathe? Here we got...

Your muscles in your butt. This was specifically for Trump before, but it's bacon lube. That's great. That's great.

I don't know how I feel about it, but it's great. Smells delicious. Yeah, okay. Don't get the lube on the mic.

Okay. And now she's lubing up her hand so it smells like a piglet. And...

You've got to think for bacon, don't you? You love bacon. This is bacon lube. It's ruining everything.

It's ruining bacon. I don't think her hole's big enough, honestly. I think they're... Oh, wait.

Okay. How to fist a doll? This is how it works. I can't get the thumb in.

I can't get the thumb in. You know, if you can't get the thumb in, that's okay. Sometimes you just don't get the thumb in.

No, you don't want to hurt her. Don't break your Valentine's Day. Okay. So if someone is interested in...

You're her partner. ...an anal sex on Valentine's Day. Tell her that I'm a safe person. Oh, now you're getting the whole fist in.

We're almost there. We're almost there. Oh, wow. This is what I came here for.

I got it. We're in. We're in. Oh, see, now we're passing this.

Yeah, now you're right in there. Now you're really in there. Oh, boy. You're fisting the doll.

Oh, shit. Okay. Hey, Kermit the Frog has nothing on you guys. Mmm.

Pretty good. Okay. Very nice. There's nothing quite like having an entire fist inside of someone

to really know them. Let us do it. Let's do it. That's the most intimate part of the role.

Yeah, really. Okay. We can lose. Well, let's hear it for Susie Q James

and her ability to... Yes, Susie. A blow-up doll. That's my girl.

In two minutes or less. Oh, we can hold hands inside her. You've got it. You want some bacon lube on there?

Yes, it is. Now we're going to do a... Bacon on it. Like Nick Jonas.

Get it in there. Double penetration. D.P. D.P.

All right. I can feel you. Double bacon penetration. Double bacon.

You need to take your ring off, girl. Penetration. You need to take that ring off. Absolutely not.

We know that. You know that. Oh, in those nails? No.

No. It's not one of our own. She's pushing that hand. Some lesbians have nails, daddy.

Let's not police other femmes genders. It's not one of the nails. It was the ring and the pussy. Okay.

So daddy is a real thing. You like to be called daddy? Yeah. Daddy is a real thing.

I call them both daddy. Okay. You have two daddies. Two daddies.

Susie has two daddies. That's a book. I guess. Yeah.

Interesting. Almost in. You've got to romance her. Come on.

Look her in the eye. Look her in the eye. For Christ's sake. While you fist her.

It's the least you can do. You can tell I'm not a lesbian. I got a lot of rings. Tell your lover.

This is a lie. Just tell her. Push it in there. She's just got big hands.

She's just trying to push it in there. She's not going to do that. She must have, you know, more than that. This is a tiny projection.

Big hand. Yeah. It's an Italian. Are you the Italian stallion?

How you doing? Double penetration. All right. Well, I don't know how much longer we're going to be.

We should wait until you can get your hand all the way in there. All right. I'm free. How gently.

Don't abuse the doll. I think this is a sign of something. The doll abuses of Valentine's Day thing. She's deflating.

She is deflating. Oh, shit. Oh, no. Oh, God.

Seeing you ruin your toy, girls. Don't break other people's toys. That's the first rule of fisting. That's true.

What'd you do to her? They knew it was the first rule. You're Queer Ella. Sorry.

Oh, poor girl. Oh, is this yours? This is my baby. I've had her since, what, like 2012.

Aww. She's been my performance prop for Berlesque for many years. Well, here, come on up here. We'll get you another one.

Yeah. Why don't you nurture her? Yeah. Give her aftercare.

There have been nights where we've actually fallen asleep a spoonful of bitch, so. We're very intimate. I hope she's okay because she's deflating.

Is this your Valentine? Yes. Yes. All of my other Valentine's lives across the country, so.

Well, you hesitated. You weren't sure you wanted to admit that this was your Valentine, but then you said yes. She's cute.

She's nice. She's been a bit, uh, been through a lot tonight. Yeah. Not sorry.

So, I mean, I'm so proud of her. She doesn't complain. I'm so proud of her. A lot of Valentine's complain.

You can take it to a local, like, discount tire store and get her patched up, I'm sure. She's wet. Yeah.

She's, that's bakery. Fuck. Is she all right? Is she deflating?

What is happening? We're going to see what happens. Well, she's kind of relaxing with her. In her Valentine's arms.

Taking her blood pressure? Mmm. Nice. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Well, uh, anyway, let's hear it for Brianna. She's been a good performer.

All right. You took it like a fucking champ, girl. Job. And, uh, so we've only got a few more minutes.

How many more minutes do we have, Max or Harry? My watch isn't working. Oh. Okay.

How much time do we have, folks? We have all the time in the world. Of course. We need someone's butt look like the traditional Valentine's.

Yes. Would you like your butt to look like the traditional Valentine's? I must. Abraham says 20 minutes.

So I can go either way. You're a Seido masochist. Yes. Well, I have a feeling we, it seems like, I don't know.

We seem like we have more sadists tonight or vanilla abstainers or something. We have a couple of, um... Uh, Mrs. Meena was raising her hand too. Oh, I stayed it.

I got excited. Yeah, she got a little excited. She's excited. How do you like to hurt people?

I love to hurt people. Yeah, but how? How? Oh, man.

I like, I love doing sounds. I love fisting myself. I mean, singletail. Fisting yourself?

I like the whole good, old, corporal... I actually knew a girl that fisted herself. What implements do you like to use? Like, everything.

Could we just singletail tonight? I've been in my trunk of my car. Okay, you have a singletail. I had everything in my car.

Oh, you have? That's good. You come on the show and leave everything in your car. Yeah, right.

All right. Whoops. Uh, no, I don't have a singletail, but you know what I have? I have a Lupercalia februa made by Juxt's leather.

It's just a strip of leather. That's right, it is. That's what it is. I mean, we have floggers too.

I have some equipment as well. And so who has some equipment in the room? You do. You're gonna get it?

Yes. Oh, see, she comes prepared, wearing such a hot outfit, and she's got a purse full of goodies. Oh, yeah, she's...

That's because she was brought up in a good religious background. I got to teach a sex idea last night, but I got to use these on people all night long, but I really want some known to use them on me.

You want someone to use them on you? I'm thinking I might be in the right space. Yeah. What kind of gloves are those?

Sap gloves? These are called Vampire Gloves. And they're one of my favorite kinky toys, because they have little spiky nails on the outside.

And on the inside, on the outside, it's nice soft leather. So maybe as mean or as soft as you want to be. Wow.

For jaw blood. Okay, so now would you like one of your friends or this nice, interesting stranger or a little bit of both to, you know,

loop or cow you up? I would like both. Both. Okay, who's first?

With the gloves. With the gloves. With the gloves. Yes, we have Mistress Mina,

who is meeting Quirella Fistelot for the first time. And... It's the sexiest OJ I've ever seen. Quirella is fitting her with her special gloves.

It's only been 20 years. And now, Quirella is going to assume the position of lupercallion accessibility so that we can turn her heart-shaped butt

the right color. You could say red is the color of Valentine's Day. Or pink, the color of Mistress Bella Bathory Day. And here she goes with these lovely

leathery gloves. They're not real leather. They're sharp. Ooh, I love it.

Okay. They're spanking away. Okay. So, how do you like the gloves?

Where's the microphone? I have a pair of my own, actually. I have a pair of my own. Okay.

How do you like the ass? It is a perfect ass. It's a perfect Valentine's Day. Beautiful heart sensations feel quite different.

Whenever you hit or you can drag them, you can use the soft leather sign. Ooh. My goodness.

Lordy, lord, lord. I'm just laughing because if I was a kid, I'm cutting the shit out of trees with those. Yeah.

Well, how do you feel watching your Valentine, you know, dominate this beautiful Valentine-shaped ass? To be honest, I mean, a little indifferent. It's cool.

A little indifferent. I mean, it's interesting for sure. Okay. But it's fun.

I guess fun is the right word. Fun is the right word. Are you saying you're not getting a huge raging heart on right now? No.

That's partly because you're on a show. Because I am right now. Oh, even if I wasn't on a show, I wouldn't be getting a raging heart on.

But it is interesting to watch, for sure. Oh, yeah. If I was a guy, I'd be getting a huge raging heart. Being a girl, I'm even getting a huge raging heart.

Yeah, right? But that's okay. You can be, you know, just entertained. It's a very entertaining, beautiful body.

You look like an Olympian of sex of some sort. Nice clown. Yeah, Olympic clowning. I like all of the different hands on me right now.

Lots of hands. I'm just going to be too handsy right now. I feel like the biggest pervert right now. I can't stop looking.

Right, you're not really being sadistic. I don't see you whacking real hard here. We got to get this ass in shape. It's supposed to be like a Valentine.

I don't like to hurt guys. Can I help out? Oh, please. Right, okay.

I like to hurt men. Oh, okay. I mean, I only like to hurt people that like to be hurt. Oh, for sure, yeah.

And, you know, we have a request for Valentine pinkness. And this, by the way, is a great Valentine gift. It's the Jux Leather finger flogger that is really the key chain. But you can use it as a flogger.

And, you know, you don't have to worry about leaving it in your car. Make it clap? Does this clap? It's too perfect.

Oh, gosh. You're not getting the heart on? Why are you talking to me, Max? Here, you want to try using this?

Okay, is this okay? Wow, is that actual like blood? Where's the mic? This is my absolute favorite toy in the whole wide world.

Can I pull this down or no? Pull this down just like a little here. Can we pull this down? This is like going to be very, very titillating here.

Wow, we've got panties down on Miss Vistula. Here's the Fuck Your Lover. You can open it up, wrap it around them, and use it as a handle. Oh, wow.

But it also has the best WAP, and I like really heavy WAPs. You do? Yes. All right, you hear that, Miss Sadis?

Hit me nice and hard. She likes a heavy WAP. Okay. Whoa!

That was a heavy WAP. Oh, wow. Wow. Wow, daddy.

Whoa. Don't try this at home unless your partner asks for a heavy WAP. Then give it to her, or him. Wow.

That butt is turning into a very perfect pink heart, right? Happy Valentine's Day. Yes. Happy Valentine's Day.

It's a beautiful thing, Valentine's Day. It's made into such an artificial corporate fake thing. Yeah, just a little bit. But it's a real thing, just as real as Quirella Fistelot's name, right?

No, it's just as real as her butt, but though I'm sure your Christian mama named you Quirella Fistelot, right? It's actually German. It runs in the family.

Of course, I knew it. Oh, no, no, no. How's your butt feeling? Oh, I feel so good.

Yeah. I'm really excited to get back to my new bathroom. Wait, let's see. I feel like the marks on your butt could be like a palm reading.

It might be a bit bloody. Tiny bit bloody. Bloody. Where?

Let me see. Oh. That was from the Vampire Gloves. Yeah.

They can be quite vicious. Whoa. It is. It's very red.

Not too bad. Okay. Are you feeling okay? Want some Neosporin?

Like I said, I'm a huge cinemasticus, so right now all I'm feeling is really great. Really? Okay. Really?

Seriously? Do you want any? Do you want some Neosporin? Sit on the towel.

There you go. Nice, fresh towel. Wow. You're such a sport.

Wow. You're feeling endorphins, so you don't, you know, maybe feel the pain. But it's the gloves that did that, not the big. The Vampire Gloves.

The spikes in the gloves. So if you hit hard with the gloves. Wow. You can break skin.

What do you like more? The gloves or the flapper? I like all of it. I'm very into, I'm a fucking huge cinemasticus.

So I do hook suspension. Hook suspension, wow. Yeah, I mean, like I still have. You can fly.

Yeah. Does that hurt really bad? No, I mean, it's the best natural high, suspending. To me, this is why I love doing what I do, because it's the best natural way to feel.

Does anything hurt you really bad? A paper cut. That, like, I'll come up down from a beating, and if I stub my toe or if I get a paper cut, fuck that. Something you don't ask for, something you're not expecting.

When you're expecting it, I guess you brace yourself and you enjoy the experience. Well, pleasure and pain receptors hit the same, like, reward stuff in our brain. So it all feels really great. Stimulation, right, right.

And it does raise those endorphins. Right, right. And when, you know, it's consensual and you welcome it, it's, you know, it's like you're doing your own fire dance. With that fiery, painful feeling.

Extremely free. Yeah. But if it comes at you without, you know, your consent or your, you know, by surprise, then, yeah, it's like an ouch like anybody else. It's funny how pain is like that.

Very strange. So don't just, you know, kind of drop something on your lover on, you know, stub their toe just because she says she's a masochist for Valentine's Day. All right. Well, gosh, you got so Valentine you actually bled.

That's really like red. Right. I'm really happy about it. You're happy.

We love you to be happy. I mean, whoops because we're on live TV, but this is my favorite thing. Really? Your favorite thing is to get spanked until you bleed.

I'm a big, I'm a huge blood play fan. I'm a sort of fly phlebotomist. So I'm super into drawing my friend's blood. I love bleeding safely.

So blood playing. It's super great. Don't try this at home. I went to phlebotomy school too.

You had to get poked like 15 times before you passed the class. Your girlfriend has all these skills that you don't take advantage of. Oh, yeah. I, yeah, I don't like to bleed.

Right. No, I understand. Call me weird. No.

But I mean, what is it? And I think this is true of certain people that they are attracted to kinksters, but they don't want to do the kinky thing. What is that about?

Why is that? Does anyone have experience with that? You have experience with that. You want the kinkster, but not the kink.

It's like Jesus loving the sinner, but not the sin. Well, because I don't perceive her as her job. I see her as her being. I see her as a deeper being than just a kinkster.

I feel like our souls are connected on a deeper level. Do you identify as a dominant in all of your life? I do, but I don't feel that I am necessarily. I don't live the lifestyle I have just arrived.

You don't tie him up or anything? I mean, I could. I've been a professional. If you wanted me to do anything you wanted, I could do it.

Like a fist and a time-up. Put sounds in his fucking penis. Does he have a fetish? What kind of fetish?

No, my only fetish is to make her happy. There we go again. Okay, I want to ask you a question, Mistress Mina. You know, I'm sure you could have as a boyfriend or a relationship,

any submissive guy, you know, that wants to submit to you, you chose to be with a guy that doesn't submit. He does submit to me. He does.

All right, okay. But in a different, how would you explain that? He does everything I tell him to do. Well, he does like to please a woman.

That's the bottom line. I had to lift a finger. Wow. But he doesn't like the, so ultimately he is, you know,

your knight to the queen, right? Yeah, he truly is like a goddess. Right. That I am.

That I am, yeah. Okay, okay. But he doesn't, you know, get into all the talents that you have. I mean, if he wants to, but I mean, he serves me like the queen I am.

Do you feel that being a mistress is just a job for you or? You know, I'm a switch, it's back and forth. You know, I've been doing professionally. I've been doing it for like five and a half years.

And when I started out, I was 18. I was in the spanking fetish video. So I was the bottom first. And I did that, that I don't know if you guys are familiar with him.

I was on Dallas Spanked Hard.com with the, he was. Oh, he spanks hard that Dallas. I worked with him like four times. He's hard.

Yeah. But that's what really turned me on to the Dom life. Cause I do have a high pain threshold. Gotcha.

Then I worked my way up. And, you know, as life goes on, you know, you do different things. You get into different things. I'm never going to stop being a mistress.

I love being a mistress, but I definitely do other things. And here's your other thing. This is the other thing. My other thing.

Right. Great. Well, you know, life is always so interesting and complicated. And that's, that's really cool.

I'm a lucky guy. You are. You are. Okay.

Are you guys all lucky too? Okay. And I mean, you're, for you, it just seems more like a lifestyle than just a job kind of thing.

I mean, I think that I am a fully rounded human being and that like my dominance and my intelligence and my sexuality are all parts of me. I don't see myself as separate from my job or separate

from my sexuality or separate from any of those things or my partners. So it's not like my job is something different than who I am. Now speaking of jobs, just want to say one thing about the

whole sex work. Let's decriminalize. Yeah. Let's destigmatize.

I mean, we hardly talked about me too, because I don't know, we have, you know, kind of bonobo-ville communions to do and assets to spank. But, but my feeling is that, you know, me too.

What next is decriminalize and destigmatize sex work? Because if you can't do it at the workplace, then you should do it with the sex workers. You should do it.

You should make, you know, let's not totally say no sex for you. Yeah. There's actually three, three states right now that

have decriminalization of sex work legislation moving through the house in Hawaii, New Hampshire, and in Washington, DC. So I think as a cannabis, we're just going to

see this happen. So support those things, it's happening. Have you found support from the me too movement at all? Have you looked for it?

I mean, really, really. Yes. I mean. Or the opposite.

Do you want to hear a living show? Yeah. Okay. Speaking of, so we kind of have, speaking of that,

you know, I think it's hard for sex workers to find spaces in mainstream feminist movements, and that includes the me too movement for sure. We are having our own me too movement, the

Rolling Stone article, chronicling, the allegations of abuse from Ron Jeremy didn't get the same traction that other things have gotten.

Like we can just say that, I think. Oh. So. I can also say I love Ron Jeremy.

Boo. Forever. But I will say that we are doing a show on February 17th at Club Bar Sinister.

The theme is around the women of Tarantino. So in light of Uma Thurman's story coming forward, I think we've all been in a situation as adult film performers on set

where we haven't felt totally safe and we haven't felt totally empowered to speak out about when we don't feel safe. So please hook up, come see Bar Sinister

February 17th. Yes, a Benny provides trauma-informed care to sex workers and people who have been sex trafficked and working in the sex trade

in Orange County. We're doing foot worship and spanking all the proceeds from that money will go towards a Benny to do something.

All right. Thank you. But anyway, I guess I just want to say, yeah, me too, you guys, I mean

I'm all, I get all over the place on this but I do feel that me too, what's next is decriminalized sex work. I feel like whatever side of the issue

you're on that that's an important thing. So did you want to promote something else? Is that what you're about to do? Oh, I was going to, yeah, I did want to talk about

everything. I love everything they're saying right now. Okay. Tell us about your big award.

So I would like to know if the science wing of the free speech coalition, you know, knows about bonobos. Are you going to support the bonobos?

I've always supported bonobos. Oh, you have? Oh, okay. Yeah, no.

I've been part of bonobos. Tell me about your bonobo love. I just love bonobos. That's all you need.

I'm here for the natural. I mean, they're going to self-identify how bonobos are going to self-identify. Well, they are nice.

That's right. All right. Well, monkeys have tails, but you have a nice tail.

I got to admit. Okay. Well, you know, bonobos are also, I think the Me Too movement should support

the bonobos because they are very, very female empowered. They show you all about female solidarity, but they also consider male well-being.

That's another element. That's very generous. It is. It's actually generous because, of course,

the, you know, females rule bonobo ville. It's true. Females rule bonoboville.

And the males are bigger and stronger and have fangs. So they do it through a combination of seduction, weapons of mass seduction,

and smarts. You see, they're very sexual. And female solidarity. They stick up for each other.

So, and they always make sure, you know, the guys are good. And I don't know if our ladies of the human race are all making sure

our guys are good. That's why we have sex workers, y'all. That's why we have, exactly, exactly. Nobody should be made.

No wife, no secretary or assistant should be made to have sex. That's what sex workers are for. And you should feel as good about

getting sex work as you do about ordering drinks. Jane landscapeing and whatever. Ordering pizza.

And you should feel good about paying for it. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. You pay for your pizza, right?

I mean, you pay for your porn. You should pay for your porn. You should pay for your sex work. And there's nothing wrong with paying.

You know, bonobos do it too. Bonobos will trade a banana for a blow job. Why not? Two minutes.

Or a mango for a muff dive. The females often put up the food. Susan, they recently read an article where monkeys have learned to prostitute.

Yes. They don't learn. They know this for a long time. This guy taught monkeys like a monetary system.

And he exchanged little pieces of cucumber for like bananas and grapes and different things. And almost immediately after they learned this skill, they learned that they could pay for sex with these things.

Yes. Like the monkey would get laid and then turn around and go buy like a sack of grapes or something. It was like monkey prostitutes.

After Susan? Yes. You're almost out of time. Okay, almost out of time.

You are out of time. I'm what? I'm a donger. You have one minute.

Okay. Well, I want to thank all my fabulous guests for joining me for Valentine's in the Me Too Trumpocalypse.

Live from Bonoboville in the womb room. And yeah, they're also exciting. I guess we don't have much time,

so I'm just going to quickly go through them all myself. We've got here Susie Q. James from the APAC. And we've got Michael Davis

with his rubber chicken. I mean, Michael Vegas. Why did I say Michael Davis? Right.

Michael Vegas. And I have Mistress Bella Bathory. Woo-hoo! First time.

And we have Mia here. Mia. And we have Quirella. This is a lot.

Yeah. Sexy. And we have Phoenix Dawn. And we have Candy Cadaver.

All right. Woo-hoo! Yeah. And Jake.

Jake. Wait. Jake. Dale.

Pickle. I think of Pickles, right? No, I shouldn't think. That's Trump, right?

That's not him. Right. Okay, no. Thank you for having me.

Big cucumbers, right? Okay. Whatever you want to say. Thank you for having me.

You're welcome. I had fun with you guys. I had fun with all of you. And thank you, Mistress Mina.

She packs quite a wallop, that one, huh? Yeah. And thank you, Ian O'Brien, right? Ian O'Brien of the Free Speech Coalition,

which we have supported since the days of Jeffrey Douglas. Right, Max? Still there. He's still there.

He's in board chair. Well, okay. I thought he went away from it. Okay.

But yeah. Hi, Jeff. Hi, Jeff. He's a great lawyer.

Great guy. So, yeah. Have a great Valentine's Day. Join us for Lupercalia.

We're going to be celebrating this coming Saturday with Mistress Porcelain and Mistress Jennifer and lots of other exciting people. Elena Reigns is going to sing.

And Ecor, the wolf. Shout out to Ecor. We know you've been watching Ecor. We love you.

We miss you, Ecor. And we hope you join us next week because it's the holiday of the wolf, the she-wolf played by Rihanna.

And, yes, follow the bonobo way. Make like bonobos, not baboons. Make love, not war. Make love to someone you love tonight,

even if that someone is you. I love you. You're my Valentine. To talk with someone about something

you can't talk about with anyone else, you can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block, your Mistress of the Airways.

But my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy over the phones.

Anytime you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination,

my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you,

role play for you, fantasize with you. No fantasy is too taboo and help you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism,

fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. For more information, call us at 213-291-9497. That's 213-291-9497

anytime you need to talk. Absolutely. This is great, right? This is beautiful.

Michael Vegas, right here in Bonnevilleville. Absolutely in the Woodrow. Entertaining us for Valentine's Day.

Just feeling the love. Feeling the lust. Those look like whips in a way. They could be whips, except you're probably

grateful. Whoa. Yep. I wouldn't have had this before.

I'd try to do that sometimes when I get drunk in there. Right? Yeah.

Yeah, daddy. All right, everybody's daddy. It's true. You're listening to Radio SZ1

on World Wide Web.