Lupercalia 2014

Full transcript of Lupercalia 2014 on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

Do you need to talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else? You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves, but my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy

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For more information, call us at 213-291-9497. That's 213-291-9497 any time you need to talk. We're listening to Radio Susie One on the World Wide Web, and now, here she is, back to Susan Block. Brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners,

valentines and lubricalians, and, uh, yes, punk rock stars, goddesses, gods, girls and boys. Mm-hmm. All you children is sex, and we are all children of sex.

Yes, we are brothers and sisters. Mm-hmm. And, uh, and we are all children of the Lupercalia tonight. That is what we celebrate with some very illustrious guests here in our little tiny Radio Susie One studio in New Bonoboville at LAX.

Mm-hmm. And we're squeezing them in, corseting them into the little space. We'll have a bigger space, like, in spring, but it's the beginning of spring. Lupercalia, vloggers, not flowers. The original Valentine's Day. That's what we're celebrating, and, uh, so it's appropriate that we have, well, the world's greatest

vlogging mistress, goddess, Selma, snake oil. Thank you. The world's greatest. Wow.

Wow. I thought you were LA's greatest. Oh. Wow.

And you are, you are a brat. That wasn't, no, I was a color right there. You should be vlogged right there. He's asking for it.

Absolutely. We like these, these small spaces though. Very small. Corseting.

Chaining. We could do this in a telephone booth, it'd be sweet. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

That's why you lubed up today, right? For the small space we had to get into. Oh, very nice. Well, you look very lubricated, very shiny, very rubbery, which is very appropriate.

And you look amazing too. Can you tell us, what is, what is Lupercalia? Lupercalia, I'm so happy you asked. But I, I should introduce everybody really quickly first.

You, of course, I've introduced you and your lubricating snake oil. And fat, Mike of no effects. Fat, Mike. Right.

Well, it's such a title. It's like you're, you know. Being in your own voice. Yeah.

And, wow, Mohawk looking good turquoise. I just had a neon green Mohawk in here with our green girls, a buttload of months. Yes. Yes.

They are punk rockets. And they're into the green color. But here they are right there. But this is Mike.

And this is Maddie Boy. Hi, Maddie Boy. Hi. Hi.

Yeah. I haven't seen you since the bondage gala that we had in the old speakeas. No, no, no, no, no. I actually saw you since you were arrows on arrows day.

And yes. You guys got pretty intimate. We did. With your help.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, there was some. There was some good anal play. Yes.

Skin was touching skin. Yeah. But, yes. Tongue was touching skin.

Feet, tongues. And, well, you know, it was arrow's day. It was a big celebration. Tonight's another celebration.

Lupercalia. Lupercalifragile. Let's see. Espealodosis.

That's where that comes from, right? Yeah. Yeah. No, actually, the Mary Poppins comes from the wolf, the she-wolf, who nurtures Romulus and

Remus in the cave of Luper, which is, of course, the she-wolf. That's where the word Lupercalia comes from, is the wolf. Luper, who, you know, is the mother, the nurturing mother of the two founders of ancient Rome.

So this is a pre-Roman holiday, the Lupercalia. It's very, very ancient, almost like prehistoric. Something to do with the moon as well. Oh, everything's got something to do with the moon.

But I don't know that part. I know it's got something to do with Luper, the wolf, and, of course, the horns. It's the horny god, who in Greece is, of course, Pan, the great god Pan, the devil, who in America, of course, is Dick Cheney, right?

Yeah. Yeah. And so we all have our devils. And Pan, of course, is a much nicer version than Dick Cheney.

Pan doesn't, you know, kill you. He just sort of fucks you. Maybe rapes you. That's a problem with nymphs.

But Faunus is the Roman version of Pan. So he's kind of one of the gods that presides over Lupercalia. And it's a very old holiday. And the tradition is that there's like colleges, groups, almost like tribes of guys,

one representing Romulus, another representing Remus. And these are like the aristocrats of the, you know, the countryside. And they all come to this cave, the cave that supposedly Luper nurtured Romulus and Remus, you know. And they sacrifice a goat or two, you know, depending on how big the party is.

And they drink a lot. You know, they're drinking wine and they're kind of, you know, eating the goat. And then they're taking the skin of the goat and they gird their loins. You know what girding loins is?

Yeah. Who doesn't? So with one of the strips of leather that they get. And then they take the other strips and they cut them into what they call February.

Getting the idea that we're getting to February. Right. They call these strips of leather of goat skin that they cut February. And then they get a little drunker and they're also kind of drinking milk.

Milk has something to do with this too. And they're marking themselves with, well, in this case, I use lipstick. But it's supposed to be wine or something or blood, actually. Blood, blood, better blood.

Blood is red. And they mark themselves with, you know, whatever. I chose an X. You could choose another sign if you like.

But the idea on the Procalea is to mark yourself with red. And then they run with their february through the streets and roads and country sides of, you know, pre-Ancient Rome, whipping the presenting behinds of the populace. Who would present their behinds for luck to be whipped by these collegians of these two tribes.

And so they'd run around doing this and bringing luck mostly to maidens who wanted to get pregnant. But just everybody, you know, would present their ass. And actually there would be a lot of pregnancies because all that whipping would whip people up into having lots of sex. And it was a very, very sexy, sexy holiday.

I'm sure I have lost something in holiday parades. That's an amazing story you made up. Oh, you cynic. There's all kinds of records of this.

I mean, the Macy's Parade and everything, I mean, there's, has nothing on this asses being whipped through the streets into orgasmic frenzies of pregnancy. And it always would happen at this time of year. And speaking of an ass being whipped, of course, this time of year is Valentine's Day symbolized by the heart, which I've always thought doesn't look at all like the cardiac organ, right? I mean, the cardiac organ looks exactly very good, Mike.

Just like my butt did a couple of days ago. Right. Yes, this is a heart shaped ass right here, except it's a heart. And why struggle to make it into the cardiac organ that it doesn't look like at all? That's a kidney bean, okay?

This is a heart. This is, you know, shaped like a butt and a red butt that's been whipped for Lupercalia. And Lupercalia, of course, very interesting holiday. It's not really about love.

I mean, you could fall in love, but it's about lust. It's about the howl of the wolf and the crack of the whip and, you know, hormones flooding. 15 years of blood. Yes.

Yes. And blood. Right. Right.

And that's the red of Valentine's Day. Because, of course, Lupercalia was a little too interesting for the church. I mean, even like Emperor Gustus, he didn't really like it. Like Mark Antony, he loved Lupercalia, you know, because he was like an ass.

Yeah, he was a slut. Exactly. He loved sex and he loved a chance to get out there and whip up a frenzy. And, yeah, so they kind of squelched it, squelched, squelched, squelched,

but the people wanted something at this time of year. So they gave us Valentine's Day, you know, which is great. I love Valentine's Day, you know. But it's kind of...

Well, now it's nothing compared to this. Right. It's a much better holiday. This is a holiday.

This is a holiday you can always get into. I mean, Valentine's Day is for lovers. Let's face it, it's for people who have a special someone. If you don't, what are you going to do?

You're going to like eat fucking chocolate. So, you know, Lupercalia is a holiday for everybody. Whether you've got a special someone, you know, you can share with your special someone your whippings, or you can go out into a, you know, a kind of not a dating scene,

although you might meet someone, but a whipping scene. Valentine's Day is this monogamous holiday. Kind of. It's romantic.

You know. And I love it. We had a great time yesterday. Did you have fun?

We did. We did. We had a really great time. In fact, there was even blood.

There was blood. And it was by mistake, but it was really hot. I was wearing something that, you know, had some metal on it. And I crushed his face in my breasts, you know, with passion.

Wow. And there was a screw. Oh my God. So he had a bleeding lip.

See, not herpes. Yeah. It's just. It's not herpes.

It was a bloody lip. Just rough sex. I don't know if I believe you. It ended up.

This is an elaborate story they came up with. It ended up being really good, though, because we were kissing and, you know, sharing the blood kisses together. The blood kisses.

It was really, it was a nice mistake. Well, you know, now you know that there is a bloody history to Valentine's Day. And we're not just talking about the Valentine's Day massacre. Right.

This is the best history class I've ever been to. Seriously. Well, you're so sweet. You're hot for teacher though.

Yeah. Apple for the teacher. Well, we're going to give floggers to the students. And these floggers, by the way, these are finger floggers,

or you could pussy whips or dick floggers or, you know, they're good for a lot of things and travel, you know. And they are made by Jux Leather. There's Jux Leather around.

Jux Lee of Jux Leather, you know. And, well, this is a red one. So I have all different colors here. There's like green.

These are great. These are beautiful. I want to add them to my bike. Yeah.

Yeah. Fucking handlebars. Yeah. Okay.

Thank you. Okay. They're like tassels. They're like tassels.

They're amazing. Well, those are Christmas colors right there, but, you know. Can I try to? Yeah.

I'm really anti-Christmas. Oh, I thought that was black. You're anti-Christmas. I'm super anti-.

Gold? May I try it another color? Not to be high maintenance when you're giving me a gift. No, no.

You go right ahead. This is the gold variety like that. Oh, it's really good. Yeah.

Yeah. Gold. Thank you. These are great.

They are great. Oh, and they're Lupercalian. They are Lupercalian. This is the Lupercalian.

I mean, I guess, you know, Lupercalia has now become a product, which is cool. Valentine's Day sure is. So why not? You know, it's the capitalist world we live in.

All right. So you had a great Valentine's Day, you know, very loving and intimate. Just the two of you. Yeah.

Pretty much. Well, yeah. Aside from the servants, of course. What is the whole setup between you and your household?

Yeah, it's interesting. It's a lot different now than it was a couple of years ago. Yeah. It's sort of fluid.

People come and go, don't they? Yes, they do. You know, boy has been part of our family on and off for six years. Yes.

And do you live up in San Francisco? I don't. I'm still down here. What is the microphone on?

I don't know. I can hear myself. Yeah. Oh, well good.

Sassy. No, I can. Boy lives in Los Angeles. We come back and visit and there's a few people that are part of our family here.

We live with our two daughters in San Francisco. Right. 14 and 9. Okay.

Family, family. I mean, this word family is being used as like traditional family, like daughters. Right. We've got two families.

It's yeah, you're right. And then there's the BDSM family. There's the two. And I don't think they confuse them.

I'm not sure. No. Okay. No.

That's good. Yeah, we keep them separate. Good to keep them separate, right? That's a good thing.

Okay. So now you're, this is your son in your BDSM family, Maddie Boy. Maddie is a FTM. That's right.

Female to male. Female to male trans man. That's right. And he's really amping it up.

I mean, he's been, you know, binding his chest and, you know, having a fake cock in his pants for many, many years. And, you know, using rubber shorts. It's a little difficult wearing latex because it, you know, gets all over the place.

You know what he's doing now though? He started taking testosterone and he's not going to need to pack too much longer from what I hear. Are you starting to pick fights though?

Not quite yet. We'll see how that goes though. But we're hoping the clit's going to get real big into kind of penis size. You already said after four weeks, he says that his, his clit is very sensitive already.

Really? Yeah. Well, so is mine. So we should, she got some.

Ooh. Oh yeah. Four weeks. Yeah.

We should tie boy up later and flick the shit out of that thing. Okay. And what do you want me to do here? You want me to turn this here?

Okay. Here we go. Okay. So I'm getting some instructions to kind of turn this over this way.

Oh, look at boy. And boy is doing a fundraiser to now some people are going to be upset about this, but you know, everybody's got to do what they got to do with their own body. And boy wants to go topless.

Oh yeah. Topless. Topless. But I'm not just talking about, you know, showing the tits.

I'm talking about taking them off. Chopping them right off. Yep. Chop, chop.

Chop, chop. Keep the nips. Get rid of the tip. Yep.

How do they do that? They suck out the flat. They take out the majority of the breast tissue. Yo.

And then they kind of relocate your nipples down so that it appears more like a male chest. Did you put one on your chin? Yeah.

That's what I was thinking. One on the chin. It's put it somewhere a little bit more interesting. Yeah.

More cement. Give me some more personality. Wow. You're a good conversation starter.

Yeah. Well, everybody, you know, I love the phrase on your flyer, you know, something about not being ruled by the mirror. Yeah.

Let no mirror define you. Let no mirror define you. There you go. So, you know, you want to create yourself as much as possible.

There's, you know, there's limits to what you can do. But why not do what you can do? I mean, as long as it's really what you want to do, not what's just somebody else wants you to do, unless that's somebody else's

goddess. So, yeah, you took a long time and I got to go on record as saying, you've got great breasts. Thank you.

She does. Thank you. You know, so I did some casting of his breath. So we had to keep a record of these amazing lovely breasts.

Really nice. Yeah. On any kind of gender, they would be lovely. I mean, you know.

Absolutely. I definitely appreciate how wonderful my chest is. Absolutely. That's why we're auctioning them at the event.

Yeah. We're going to, you know. The sacks of fat? What?

We're going to auction the tits. Oh, you mean the, the mold. The mold. Not the actual breasts.

Oh, no, I thought we were auctioning the breasts. Maybe it may be a feel. I don't know if that's legal. That's some kind of biological thing.

I, I think we should give them to Laura. You know, Laura Grace. I'm saying, I'm saying. Be good.

Got to raise funds. Yeah. Yeah. I wish that I could donate them to somebody that truly would,

you know, show them off and. Eat them. You know. Oh, let's eat them.

People eat placentas all the time. Why did I get a little grossed out by that? But you know, if it's consensual and I mean, I guess, you know, it's a certain form of cannibalism, but what is.

It's probably the best form. Hardcore, fresh kissing and after all you drink each other's blood. A stuffed breast, you know. Yeah.

Okay. Now they're getting to me. I gave a lesson in Lupercalia, but they're schooling me. You're blushing for Valentine's Day.

It's like my cheeks are my ass cheeks after Lupercalia. Yes. Why was I doing that? Oh, because we're talking about eating breast stuffed breasts.

Anyway, this is not necessary to donate to Maddie's cause. If you wish to donate, what do you do? There is a donation website, which is at gofundme.com slash Maddie boy, which is M-A-T-T-Y-B-O-I.

Okay. And you're like her proud mama, although she also has a mama. Another mama. She was also a proud mama.

She is. Yeah. You told me about her before. Yes.

His mother is being very supportive about the show, which is wonderful. Did she know about the eating part though? The eating part. Eating my daughter's breast, you know.

Don't ask so much. So now, is this something you've been gearing up to for years? Oh, yeah, absolutely. But it's, you know, when you're 15 and, you know, finding down with ace bandages,

you're not really thinking about how you're going to afford to have surgery. Try and think about it, but it doesn't seem like a reality at that point. When you're an adult, then you can figure it out and ask people. Even when Boy was a younger adult and we were together in a much more serious

BDSM relationship, I was asking him not to do testosterone at that point. You didn't want him to be too feisty. Yeah, well, you know, got to keep him under control. No, but I just thought it was a little early.

You know, he's still kind of... I was a baby. Although that's an interesting question. And I know that some people do it when they're still teenagers or going through puberty or whatever,

but I thought he should really be well informed and know exactly... Wise, wise, also legally speaking, wise. Yes, but my question was, who is more easy to control or more controllable, high testosterone or high estrogen?

Would testosterone make you more out of control because you're aggressive or maybe more controllable because you're so horny? You know, I'm going to go with the testosterone. You know, I find that women are more manipulative.

Yeah, yeah. You know, the testosterone kind of makes you more controllable. And the testosterone, yeah, there's more things. There's more bargaining power.

If you know what to do, if you don't know what to do, then it's more out of control because there's this aggression that wants something, wants something. So what are you going to give it?

If it's Lupercalia, you give it a whack. And you know, yeah, it's true. In the ancient prehistoric legend, or not legend, it actually happened, but it was mostly guys running through the countryside doing the whacking.

We have to be accurate about history. Although I'm sure there was an occasional woman binding her breasts, or maybe even not, just whacking. One would hope, yeah.

But we, of course, are equal opportunity whackers. Yes. Even the sound of that holiday is something quite precocious. Lupercalia?

Right. Lupercalia, fragile. What is that? Lupercalia, fragilistic, expialidocious.

Okay. I'm not going to go there again. Sorry. Well, if you do, we have the belt.

Right. This is the belt. This is another juxt's leather creation. Oh, it's so pretty.

Perfect for Lupercalia. Look at that. Would you like to try this out? Oh, it's lovely.

Me, me. No. Look at you. You've got these two children on either side of you.

Buying for your... I don't know if this has been used before either. Oh, yeah? I don't know.

I don't know. It was presented to the Lupercalian desk here. Yeah? Ready for a whack?

Hell yeah. Yeah, ready for a whack? Okay. So here we have punk rock god.

Wow. And slave. Well, you know. Yeah.

Punk rock god. Yeah. I mean, you know, I went to your concert. I was on stage, you know, just grooving with the groupies.

Oh, I was remember. I was grooving with the groupies. I was, I was worshiping at the altar of fat Mike. There it is, that voice.

And now here he is getting his heart shaped, but whacked. You got to turn around for my... Can we get more room? Yeah.

Can you just... He's wearing a kilt, which is of course in character. Convenient. Kilt's are no effects.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Here we go.

Turn a little towards... Which way do you need? This way. Towards the microphone.

Yeah. And actually... Maybe we're going to have the mic up his butt. Oh, here we go.

We got rubber bordello music. Oh, I know this song. Ooh. Now.

Whoa. Yeah. Whack. Listen to the sound of that thing.

Oh, yes. Yes. Oh, lovers. Happy valentines.

And Lusty Lupercalia. Speaking of valentines. Yes. Speaking of the microphone.

Oh, wow. Look at that beautiful ring. Oh, yes. And it is red.

A burgundy heart. Is that a heart? Yeah. Oh, wow.

That is very beautiful. Is that like a ruby? A garnet? Yeah, it's a ruby.

A ruby. A diamond. A ruby with black diamonds. He designed it himself, too, isn't he?

Oh. Oh, design. Okay, talk into the microphone. We're engaged.

We're getting married. You're engaged. Again. Okay, that's...

Has this been formally announced? It's a small room. You have to make it... Yeah, thank you.

The big room would be wasted. Thank you. Is this your big news? That's pretty big news.

Yeah. Yeah. Boys are my best man for the wedding. Boys are your best man.

Yeah, that's going to be great. That is great. I'm so excited. Wow.

I'm excited for them. When is the wedding going to be? It's in May 2015. So, a year and a couple months?

Yeah. Okay. We're hoping to get the Germans to play. And X, we'll see.

Fuck yeah. Ooh. And do you know where you're going to get married? You know, we haven't done any inquiries yet, but there's...

We're thinking the whiskey a go-go. Yeah. He went to his first punk show there, so it seems... Aw.

It's so beautiful there. Yeah. You know, with the flowers and the sunsets. Yeah.

Oh, it's on sunset. And it's in LA, so I could go. Oh, of course you're going to go. That would be great.

Yeah, please. Oh, I'm so excited. I'll mark my calendar. Woo.

So, are you going to do any BDSM rituals of betrothal or something? You know, I think we'll do a hand-fastening for sure. A hand-fastening. Mm-hmm.

Now, of course, every marriage, every wedding does a hand-fastening because the wedding ring is basically a symbol of bondage. Sure. It's a band that fastens you to each other.

Mm-hmm. Yes. And so... But we're going to have...

You know, our kids are going to be there and family and stuff, so we're not going to do, like, a hardcore BDSM wedding. None of that spanking stuff you just did? I don't have family.

She has family. Oh. You don't have family? No.

All dead. But... You've got a daughter? Well, yeah.

She did, too. I mean, older. My older people. Oh, older people.

Yeah. Jesus. He's killed them all. Wait, is that Obama?

Sorry. Parents. Parents. No parents.

No, it's a certain thing when you've got no parents, right? But all the bridesmaids are going to be wearing rubber maids outfits, so they'll be true bridesmaids. Yeah.

Wow. Sexy rubber maids. Can you please stop farting? I will.

I will. You got everything going. That whipping. You loosened everything up.

Really? It's too bad this is not scratch and sniff radio or anything else. Maybe it's good that it isn't. Smell-O-Vision?

Was that... Smell-O-Vision. Waters? John Waters?

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Oh, you guys are getting that one, huh? I'm sorry.

Thank you. I won't do it anymore. Kiltz, it comes right out. At least you're not doing it on me, you know?

Oh. It's happened. It used to do that shit all the time. Hey.

Hey. We're siblings. I know. You thought it was real funny.

Is that how the family works? The brothers? You know, it's kind of weird because then he also plays like a daddy figure. Uh-huh.

You know, a father figure. Oh, my God. Now I can smell you. Oh.

Hideous. No, I'm so sorry. I'm so embarrassed. Yeah.

You should mark him. I'm trying. I'm trying to talk about sex and everything. This is...

Are you going to put red lipstick around my bubble again like she did? Huh? What? The red lipstick around my rim.

I don't want to do that to her lipstick. I have two lipsticks. Oh, my God. So, you know, it's just...

She was prepared. Yeah, we could do the... The nipples. This is something that happens.

Yeah. It's a thing. Serious. Uh-huh.

Yeah. He's getting red. This is... I don't know if this is Lupercalian exactly, but make your own Lupercalian rituals, you know?

Okay. And on the forehead, mark his forehead with a... Relax your forehead. Relax.

Okay. Relax. Oh, X. Okay.

X is better than Swastika. That would be lame. Yeah. Swastika.

Although... You don't want that. Last year we did all different signs. I mean, X is the standard.

I always do X, but some people did 666 with the devil. And some people did, I don't know, their sweethearts or the initials or a heart or whatever you want. I saw Salise Triangle.

I like those. Or maybe you could put a mail sign on Boy. You could put... Volvo.

Volvo. It's the Volvo logo. Yeah. We should have the...

Where's it going? I don't want to rub it off of my hat. Oh, there you go. On the cheek.

Okay. See, make your own Lupercalian rituals. Looks like a prison tattoo. Oh, there you go.

Thank you. That is definitely a mail sign. That's mail energy coming your way for Lupercalia. Definitely.

Okay. So the goddess must be marked for Lupercalia. Yeah. Is this a stripper bowl you have right here?

This is. That's right. That's right. Would you like to dance on it?

Would you like to be whipped on it? If it wasn't Lupercalia. It's appropriate. You know?

He's already been pretty daring with the... You know, before we get into that, I think what we need to do is our Bonoboville communion. Okay. Oh, how do you do that?

Well, I'm going to call my lovely assistant, Trixie, to bring in the communion wine, which is not really wine. Oh, it's not. Well, unless you like wine.

I thought you liked some. We are using your favorite drink. Manichevitz. That's wicked stuff.

130 proof or something. Yeah. It's terrible. And so sugary.

Mark, do you want your forehead, goddess? I did it on my lips. I could do a black flag. Oh, come on.

Do respect. That's not a mark. Oh, but somebody could kiss your forehead. My sexual, sexual lips.

They are sexual. I mean... So luscious. You look so hot in that monitor.

Oh, yeah, she does. Amazing. You do it. Someone else does it to me.

Okay. Here he goes. He's in the daddy role now. Yep.

Okay. Here he goes. Mark. Go for it.

I feel like it's in the packing balls. Aww. Aww. How cute.

What is that? Anarchy. Anarchy. Anarchy.

Oh, AA. I see AAA. Not AAA. Anarchy.

Cool. And you are an anarchist, a sexual anarchist. Yes. All right.

It is time for Bonoboville Communion. So tonight we have our salt flecked with the blood of a goat. Wow. Yeah.

I'll just leave it at that. Okay. It's just jello. This is not jello.

Actually, sometimes we do jello shots. Yeah. But tonight we are simply doing your favorite drink. There's no booze in there.

Okay. There's no booze for the children. Okay. I'm a big whopping 24 now, you know.

Yeah, I know. I know. You're still a boy. Comfortable.

Just juice. Are you the designated driver? Always. Oh, there you go.

Yep. Is her mic on? His mic on? Yep.

Yep. Test test. Okay. Maybe you need to put it closer to your mouth.

You need to put it close. Yes. I'm good at that. I can do that.

Okay. You know what we... Is this with or without? Oh.

The closer. Yep. Okay. That's a fucking title to keep forever.

So now, no. First, we lick a body part. Okay. And then we apply...

On each other? On each other, right? Okay. Okay.

And then we apply the salt. Okay. And then we lick the salt and then we take the shot. Great.

That's Bonoboville Communion. All right. Okay. Who goes first?

Well... Can I put the salt and snort it off her body part? That would hurt. And I know you're a bit of a masochist, so go right ahead.

Usually, I tell people not to, but you want to do it? You go right ahead. No. Don't do it.

Snort it. Save your nose for other things. Okay. Okay.

So, I would advise the tongue. It's rather delicious, you know? I'll try it. This doesn't look like salt.

Well, because it's got the blood of a goat. Goat blood salt, remember? It's goat blood salt. I put it on a body part?

Well, first, you lick the body part so the salt will stick. On her body and my body. Well, you're going to do the licking first, it seems. Okay.

Well, if she does the licking... If you can reach it, if you can reach that, sure. You should do it. You're almost there.

Nipples are almost ready for that. You could do your own body part if you want to just get really... Definitely. Oh, my God.

Holy shit. Now... Pit shot. Okay.

Pit shot. Whoa. So sensuous. Nice.

Oh. That's love. And down the hatch. All right.

Okay. Okay. So now you can decide what he has to lick. Okay.

Put salt on the wound and I'll lick it from there. Oh. Mmm. So, oh, look at those gloves.

I'm just... She looks amazing. Yeah. Okay.

Now, what is going on here? Now, this is rubber. Okay. Is there any...

It makes it a lot more delicious to lick off of. You're going to lick off the rubber. Okay. Well, I guess...

Yeah. Sprinkly. Looks a little... Like dandruff, but it's salt.

Salted rubber. Yeah. Can't beat it. Mmm.

Salted rubber. Mmm. Aww. So loving.

Did you do your shot? Uh-huh. Wow. It doesn't have any alcohol in it.

Mmm. Yum. It's good. All right.

So now are you... It's time to be on someone's shoe or boot, right? That counts as a body part, right? Yeah.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Especially... I think in our case it does.

On this BDSM holiday. Boots. Boots are our body parts. I am wearing red high heels.

Boys. Boys of foot fetishes. Right here. Pick me.

Yeah. Let's do it. So salt... Should I put the salty goat blood on it?

Yeah, salty goat blood. Well, actually no. Lick it first. You got to lick it first.

Lick it first to get it wet. Okay. Now we're talking. Yeah.

What do they taste like, boy? Red. Do they taste cherry, don't they? Mmm.

I bet they taste like pay less. Aww. Hey, now. Downtown.

Yeah. This is Santiago. I'll have you know. Mmm.

Mmm. Yeah. That was good. Salty shoes are the best.

And juice shot. And thank you, doctor. Mmm. Did I hear a thank you doctor?

Thank you, doctor. Can I hear a thank you... Oh, I think... Was it alcohol in it?

No way. Is it? Yeah. Alcohol.

Booze. No, it's not. All right. That's fine.

For sure. For sure. It's just probably handled by a booze. Let's just agree.

It is booze? You got the booze and I did. Oh. Let's agree or agree.

Okay. You okay? Sorry. Okay.

You got booze. Okay. Maybe Trixie needs to be waxed. Maybe Trixie needs to be waxed.

Yeah. Trixie needs to be waxed. Okay. I thought that was a...

I'm really glad I didn't swallow it. Yeah. I know. It's okay.

Okay. You didn't swallow it. Okay. I didn't swallow it.

We're good. All right. Well, we're good. But I think she still needs to be waxed.

I'm gonna swallow it for you along with your spit. Please do it. Caffeine is a drug, you know. Caffeine.

Sorry. I spit in it. No, it's okay. I mean, it's not...

I mean... Oh, look at that. Mmm. Down the hatch.

Nice. What's love? Mmm. So we gotta tell you boys' nickname.

All right. We used to call boy The Closer. I'm very proud of that title. It's a good thing.

You're gonna explain more? Yes. Absolutely. We're gonna do this together.

The Closer. So, I just got embarrassed. Really? So, we be having sex and...

But they're more than just you. I mean, this was... Oh, yeah. You've been The Closer for a while.

Yeah. Boy's been A Closer prior to you. Goddess comes way easier from, you know, Cunnilingus. Yes.

Oh. So, you know, if we're fucking and I come in her pussy, you know, she needs A Closer. Oh, and you eat the cream pie. I do.

I do. There are me too. It's less about the cream pie than Goddess coming. Well, I know, but it is a cream pie.

But the way he described it, he came and stuff. He certainly did describe it that way. Yeah. I mean, if you just came, but you said you came in her pussy.

So, immediately, I thought of a cream pie. He did go for it. Yeah. But I understand that the point of it is that it's just when he comes too fast.

Right. And I think that... Excuse me. But I only come when she gives me permission.

See, he got red now. It is true. We're taking turns getting red as the X's on our... It is true, though, that he...

Oh, we have... What is this? This is non-alcoholic? Oh, full of alcohol for me.

But you know what? You gave an alcoholic one to Maddie Boy. You... It's okay.

Okay, now she's getting red. It's okay. Okay, look at her. I didn't swallow it.

It's okay. I did not swallow it. It's okay. No harm done.

She did not swallow it. But I still think you need to be punished. Boys have switched too, you know. There is that.

Yeah. Down the snatch. Now... Okay, you have to talk on a microphone, though.

Let her have a mic. She said she wanted to be punished. I'm okay with being punished. You're okay?

I mean, I wouldn't want you to... I mean, I'm not forcing you to be punished, right? No, you're not forcing me. I tricksy plenty.

Can you sign something? Okay. So you tricksy... I mean, look at what you're wearing.

I know. I am asking for it. You're definitely asking. And then you give Boy the alcoholic drink.

And it's lubricalia. So... Give her a pinch, boy. Give her a pinch.

I think you should put her over your knee, if you're going to do that. Oh, yeah, yeah, do that. We're going to put me take my coat off for that.

Well, you know, just scoot back and take over. Yeah. Take control. Take control, okay.

Punish this woman. But be careful. That's my manager. I promise.

Okay. I promise I'll be careful. Okay. I'll be careful enough.

Very careful. Okay. She is suitably attired in a tutu. And pasties.

And red panties. Beautiful. Beautiful ass for spanking, too. Beautiful ass for spanking.

Whoops. And we... This is a very... That's not...

Not too effective. Not... It's not... Your hand is good, too.

Oh, hand. Here we go. It's hard in a rolling chair. Do you want this chair?

Here, do it on this chair. Do it on this chair so you can do it properly. Okay. I'm looking for something that's going to hurt worse.

Do you have any wires? How are you doing there, Trixie? It's pretty good, you know. Pretty good.

Pretty good. I think she's asking for more. I don't... I don't feel too punished.

All right. Sit down, boy. Where am I going? Look at boy in his bicycle shorts.

He is getting more masculine. Yeah. Definitely. Mm-hmm.

Whack-whack. Aw. Aw. Aw.

Aw. Happy lubrication. Yeah. Look at that.

Heart-shaped butt. Good one. Good form. Well, thank you.

I learned from the best flogger in the world. Yeah. Yes, you too. That's right.

Oh. And a kiss afterwards for Valentine's. Yay. Okay.

And so, Trixie, you get a Jux Leather Flogger. Yay. Yay. Look at that.

And a color coordinate. It does color coordinate. I wouldn't want you to be uncoordinated. All right.

My taste is. All right. Jux Leather February. Are these February?

Sort of. I don't know. Are we allowed to puff on these here or no? Sure.

Just a little vapor. I don't know what that is. You know, by the way, one of my things I did on Valentine's Day, we went to the beach and I got my renewed license.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How was it?

Did it turn out? My license? Cool. Did it turn out good?

Because I just tried to do that. And I wore a dress that was really very boob-centric. Uh-huh. And they, like, zeroed in on my face.

That's what they do. They don't, yeah. What is that? They zeroed in on my, I was also wearing, you know,

a little Valentine boobage. And yeah, they zeroed in on my hat, actually. They like the hat. Oh, that's good.

You got the hat. I got the hat in. Yeah, that's cool. That's really good.

Yeah, absolutely. All right. So, um, so, uh, I haven't had my shot, goddess. Oh.

Um, do I have permission? Where would you like to go? To lick something. Anything you like.

Anything I like. Um, well, I'm just fascinated by those keys and the cleavage that lies below. That's Cleveland right there.

Yes. Yes. Cleveland never looked so good. Hmm.

Where's my salt? Oh, yes. Here it is. This is the salt of Lupercalia.

Oh, that's hot, too. This is getting hot. Hmm. Yes.

And the goddess is sitting, spread eagle upon the bicycle shorted legs of Maddie Boy. Fucking awesome bicycle shorts. The closers.

That's there. Best seat in the house. Between the city of Cleveland. I've never been to Cleveland.

Now you have. Okay. There we go. I better be good at this.

This is goddess Soma snake oil. The world's greatest whip mistress. Wow. I nailed it.

I'm trying to make it like a snake. Hmm. Yummy. Happy Lupercalia.

Down the hatch. Ah. Oh. Lovely.

Well. That's good. Yeah. Um, uh, Lupercalia is underway.

Okay. And, uh, and, and we're here with goddess Soma snake oil just in case you just tuned in and Maddie Boy and Mike X marks the spot.

No. FX. Right. So, uh, Maddie Boy is going to get her, um, her boobs

removed and actually Maddie Boy is a he. I thought about boobs and I said her. It's true. I was going to say that with this whole like communion

thing, you know, the racks got to come out. Look at that. The racks got to come out. The racks make a debut before they're gone.

Right? Yes. Yeah. Yes.

I think I would be honored to take another, um, uh, Bonoboville communion shot off of the rack of Maddie Boy that I am going to miss. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Oh yeah. He's got a lot of layers on.

No, I can't. I like this hat. It's a rubber. This part, this part will be interesting for you all to see

as well though, because he's wearing a binder that presses his chest completely. Oh. But first stand up so you can see.

Stand up. Flat. Oh, wait. Okay.

We'll sit down then. Okay. Sit down a second. Here.

You can see how flat his chest is from this binding. Fuck it. Thing that he wears. Your flat is fuck.

I mean, he's like completely flat, right? So, and he has this. Very flat. Oh, I feel the binder.

Oh, yeah. He's got this amazing binding shirt on that presses his, his tits. Mm-hmm.

And you'll see. And you'll see they're not small tits either. Taiwan knows how to bind. Oh, microphone please.

He said Taiwan knows how to bind. Taiwan. That's where the binders are made in Taiwan. Mine is.

The one that I'm wearing is, yeah. So, let's see the binder. Yours flat is something that is super flat. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Like the sidewalk? Here, I'm trying to enhance mine. A dozen different things that are, that are really flat.

People try. Just like those things. Everything. Yeah, yeah.

Thank you. So, check this out, though. Oh, yeah, yeah. Isn't this, I mean, it's amazing how.

Oh, okay. It's very, very hard. And it kind of is. It's like a girdle for the boobs.

Right, exactly. It's sore, too, sometimes, right? Yeah, well, it hurts my back more than anything. Mm.

I've been doing it for 10 years. I'm pretty used to it, but. Which is another reason why. Yeah.

You want to get the operation because. It's not going to hurt anymore. And the idea of not having to wear like two layers all the time. Oh.

Especially when it's hot, you know. Yes, yes. It'd be more comfortable. Absolutely.

Mm. So. Okay. So here, here we go.

Here's the magic. Okay. Oh, a Velcro, too. Velcro.

Yeah. Whoa. Release the hostages. There they are.

Look at those nipples got very. Hard under there. Is that the testosterone or just having a good time? They're always like that.

Yeah. It's certainly not cold. You know what? They look like they've gotten smaller.

Is that the testosterone? I will. Yeah. Oh, you lost some weight.

I lost some weight. You lost some weight. I'm sorry. Yeah.

I lost my microphone. Yeah. So you have to stand up straight. I'm trying to sit up as straight as I can.

Yeah. But I mean, you know, beautiful, beautiful. Beautiful breasts. Very beautiful.

But. Bye bye. Oh. Well, we're going to say goodbye now.

And we're going to do it with our Bonoboville Communion for Lupercalia over Maddie Boy's boobs soon to be gone. Soon to. I love this.

Ritual goodbye. I thought it might be appropriate. We're saying farewell. Yes, absolutely.

Yeah. So I think we need some of that rubber bordello music in the background. Right. Rubber bordello, which won, won some awards.

What awards? Three AVNs. Three AVNs. Yeah.

Right. Including for soundtrack. Uh-huh. And we're going to play some soundtrack.

Do we have soundtrack? Do my. There we go. Okay.

All right. So lean back. Like my Lupercalian skirt. Mm-hmm.

Great. Lovely. Good time. So lovely.

I'm glad you're keeping the nipples. Oh, yeah. Microphone, could you hold that, please, goddess? Thank you.

If you don't raise enough money, boy, are you going to just take one off? I thought about it. I'll just, you know, I'll just. And also, are you going to get the adedict to me later?

Probably not. You're funny. Okay. Concentrate.

Concentrate is good. You're definitely saltier than goddess. Oh. Mm.

That's good. That's probably the testosterone. Mm. Yeah.

A little more, you know, that musky maleness. Mm-hmm. That is a compliment. I mean, I'm bisexual, but I'm married to a man.

So I'm mainly, you know, I don't know what category I'd be on Facebook now. Yeah, I know there's like, what, 50 options now? So many. You really changed it.

Yeah. I don't know about this. Yeah, they added like 50 different options for your gender identity on Facebook. And sexuality.

That's so confusing. Did they put in BDSM as a sexuality? Of course they didn't. Probably not.

We... I don't know. We get no recognition. Oh, look what we have now.

Just in case. Wow. We're hungry. We have chocolate covered strawberries.

They're really good. No. Oh, we'd love to watch you eat one. Mm.

Feed her. Yes. One of our rituals is we always feed each other. One of your rituals?

Yes, we always feed each other. Is that like the cannibalism thing? No. Just regular food.

Just food. That's bonobo. Bonobos love to combine food and sex. Yeah.

And of course it's a Valentine thing, you know? Like chocolate, the... You know, one of our first dates, we ordered room service. And she fed me, I was blindfolded.

She fed me the entire meal. You know how sweaty that just made us sound? One of our first dates, we ordered room service. That's cool.

Yeah, we just did that for Valentine's Day. But she fed me an entire meal blindfolded out of her vagina. It was awesome. Oh.

Wasabi mashed potatoes. Wasabi mashed potatoes. Wow. Fun for everyone.

It was so hot, it really was. That is. That really one ups the nine and a half week scene where Kim Bassenger is blindfolded and she's in a bathtub.

She's a lot of crummy food too, you know, like hot peppers. You know, you were feeding your vagina. Mm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So, yummy. Yeah, so...

I'm gonna find these puppies back. That guy's gone now, Zalman. Zalman King. I feel like somebody else...

Yes, he is. Zalman King is gone. And he's gone where Maddie's breasts will soon go. Yeah, well right now they're gonna go back into my...

Back into Taiwan, I think. And you're having this event, this... Oh yeah, you're gonna put the binder on. Putting them away.

I'm gonna put them away, I think. You can leave them out for a little bit. No, don't leave them out, please. You can leave them out for a little bit longer.

Please. Come on. Okay, okay. Because they're gonna be gone soon.

Yeah, they're gonna be gone so soon. Yeah, it's true. Right. You know, but change is good.

It's like, you know, it's like we're having sex for the last time. We're breaking up. We're having sex for the last time. This is the last...

Tits for the last time. Tits for the last time. And when are you... Do you have an appointment to get them removed?

I do. It's on the 28th of February. It's an exactly two week... Wow.

Yeah, less than two weeks. Do you want to promote your doctor? Will he give you a discount? Or she?

Oh, that's a good idea. I wonder if he would. Maybe he'll try more. I hope so.

Yeah. I don't know. Really good surgeon in Beverly Hills. Okay.

So have we decided to give out his name? He's only... The only surgeon in Beverly Hills. He can't miss him.

The only... The only plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills. Oh. Oh.

He's naughty. He needs another spanking. Is it your turn this time, Dr. Suzy? Maybe.

All right, Dr. Suzy, we're going to have a commercial. We're going to have a commercial. Oh, okay. Yeah.

How long is the show? No, no time to go to the bathroom. The show is over in a half an hour. Well, you might be able to go to the bathroom.

You don't need to go to the bathroom. Okay. We're going to... Wait a minute.

Oh. Yeah, she might make you pee in your pants so you're wearing a diaper. Okay.

Anyway, we're going to find out soon what's going on with our golden couple. So don't come yet and don't go away. We'll be right back with Goddess Soma,

Fat Mike of No Effects, and Maddie Boy for Lupercalia. Are you a victim of religious sexual abuse? Has your sex life been hurt,

warped, or excessively repressed by a strict religious anti-sex upbringing? Are you concerned that an unhealthy fundamentalist or orthodox environment is distorting

or destroying your sexuality, your marriage, or your life in general? The Dr. Susan Block Institute specializes in treating victims of religious sexual abuse.

For information about our telephone sex therapy services, call 1-866-207-7521 or 213-291-9497.

You won't go to hell for it, but you just might feel a lot better. We're listening to Radio Suzy 1 on the World Wide Web,

and now, here she is, Dr. Susan Block. Uh-huh. I'm so punk. We'll have to come out later.

We have lots of things happening. Brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, we are back in the Radio Suzy 1 live broadcast studios.

Uh, we're celebrating Lupercalia. It's a small space, uh, here tonight. You know, sometimes we've had huge spaces and big Lupercalian parties,

but tonight we have little whips from Jux Leather. And, um, and we've got some bigger ones here. Oh, here's the white one. Mmm-hmm.

Yes, and this is one of the kind that kind of, I mean, you need more room, but it's the kind that kind of flips around. You like this kind.

You know why that's so good? Because it really saves your wrist. Talking to microphone. It saves your wrist, right?

That when they have those hinges on them, you don't end up with them. You know how they say it's all in the wrist action? Well, this does the wrist action for you.

When you don't get a corporal tunnel syndrome. Yeah, right, right. It's, uh, it's really, uh... His joke.

It's a, it's an energy saver, or a muscle saver. And it also doubles as a dildo. Mmm-hmm. Looks kind of like a drill.

Yeah. Big drill bit. A drill-do. A drill-do.

A drill-do. Very nice. You could make one of those, or maybe Jux Leather will.

A drill-do. Mmm. He does. Do you call them drill-dos?

No. No. But now maybe, you know, you can work something out here.

Still on corporal... Yeah. So, now speaking of drill-dos... Corporal tunnel syndrome.

Corporal tunnel syndrome. Yeah. Corporal... Corporal...

Corporal tunnel syndrome. Yeah, it's a dom syndrome. The dom syndrome from too much of the wrist action. Yeah.

Uh, yeah. And you have a place, a new place in Vegas? We've had it for a little while.

Yeah. Yeah. A dungeon? You know, we should add some more dungeon-y features.

It's actually... It's a punk house. It's kind of a punk house. Yeah.

It's um... It's called Vegas punk house. It's called Vegas punk house, and it's...

I don't know. You're looking at each other as though there's certain things you can say about it

and certain things you can't. I've been calling it Chuck E. Cheese for adults recently, which is probably a terrible metaphor,

but it's just like... Chuck E. Cheese. We've got all these cool games and things to do with...

We have a machine pool and a pool. We just like it because all our crazy friends come there and we can do whatever we want.

Yeah. Because high walls. You do do whatever you want. We do do whatever we want.

Now there's a lot of Hollywood people. I mean, not that you're a Hollywood person, but you're kind of like a celebrity. And there's a lot of celebrities

that like have, of course, all these kinky things that they do. And some of them are probably your customers. Some of them are my clients,

but they try to really keep that away from their fans. You know? Because they're afraid

of what their fans will think. But you just tell everybody what a slut you are. One thing we started doing

is she started peeing in my cocktails on stage. And big festivals. You know, 10,000 people and she'd pee in my cocktail

and I'm like, hey, I'm drinking my girlfriend's piss with my vodka and compari. And no one would believe me.

And Kelly passes it out into the crowd and people are like... Now I heard you had people drinking piss, but then it wasn't really piss

and people were like ready to... A full TMZ, though. TMZ ran with the story. Right, right.

That's all over the internet. I mean, you know, when you look you up. It was a good prank. Yeah.

The Petrone. Was there really pee? Yeah, we did... It's a long story,

but we made it look like I peed in this... Oh yeah, your pee. Yeah.

Not even... In a Petrone bottle. And everyone drank it and then I proved to them later

that they drank it because we filmed it. Yeah. And you know,

people were upset with me. Hey, we have a mic. But, you know... But it was a prank and you know...

You got banned. I got banned from the club. You got banned from the club. That's it.

That's always... Yeah, that's always good. Yeah. If you get banned from anywhere,

you're doing something right. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I think so. You got it.

Banned. I was banned from Sex Week at Yale. Yeah? I was.

I just realized that. How did you do that? Well, because I helped to... I helped to found Sex Week at Yale.

Yeah. And it was something that happened around Valentine's Day every year. I mean, every other year.

And it... I mean... Did you bring too much sex into Sex Week at Yale? According to some people.

Yeah. According to some people. And so, you know, those people held sway. And honestly, I just didn't, you know,

feel the urge to fight it too much at that time. Yeah. A couple years ago. And they just...

They had invited me as they had every year. I'm for five years. Yeah. And then suddenly they rescinded my invitation.

And they said I wasn't allowed to speak. Wow. Because I mean, they wouldn't say why, but there's some sort of inciting of people.

Of the young students. Inciting of orgasms or, you know, causing people to be sexual at Sex Week and some... And, you know, I was even going to do a talk on marriage

and sex. Sex and marriage. Keeping sex, you know, hot in a long-term marriage. Sure.

Which I've kind of done, you know, for 23 years. But sometimes, yeah. Yeah. I mean, and I do have unorthodox ways of doing it.

Uh-huh. You know. But still, still it is marriage. Isn't that something, you know, traditional?

I don't know. But anyway. I back marriage. I like that whole partnership with one person.

Yeah. I think it's pretty cool. I think it's extremely cool. It's like you have a witness.

That's what we call each other. Max and I, you know, you're my witness. I love that. You may not do everything with you.

And there might be other people that are involved in our lives in different ways, you know, erotically and otherwise. But you are my witness. You are always part of my life.

That's, uh... It's beautiful. Yeah. You know, I like, also, I like that you said that you didn't

really fight it. You just kind of blew it off. He always says, it's one of my favorite things here, as far as ideology that he says.

He says, the best revenge is good living. Yeah. Well, I did write a nasty letter to the president of Yale. And a pipe bomb.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, Max would have done that. He would have gone with the pipe bomb.

But New Haven in winter is cold, you know? Didn't George Bush go to that school? Yes. So that's enough revenge.

So come on, yeah. Right. Right. Sick.

You know? He was a cheerleader there. Was he a cheerleader? He was a cheerleader.

He was a cheerleader. He was a cheerleader for the devil. Whoops. The devil had his face smashed in.

How about Putin? He's the current devil. Well, he's bald. I mean, I don't know.

He's also bald. Yeah. I mean, yeah. I guess so.

I guess he doesn't let gay people go there. Or he doesn't. What is it? I mean, how could he?

Someone new got arrested recently in Russia. And it was a young woman. I don't know. I want to talk about it for two seconds.

Yeah. Yeah. She put together some kind of website for gay kids, you know, like teenagers in Russia, where they could meet each other and talk about issues and whatever.

And she just got put in prison for homosexual propaganda. Oh, Christ. It's horrible. It's just weird.

I mean, did the commies do that? They didn't care about that shit, did they? I mean, I guess that, yeah, Mal kind of did. He didn't let anybody be gay either.

But I thought the Russians were a little more like, you know, it's so cold, you got to keep it warm somehow. Come on. Whatever the whole.

You got to keep it. It's pretty fucked up there. I guess so. I mean, they got nine time zones.

What the hell is with that? Well, that is a lot. That's too much. That's too much.

No wonder. And they just got put in ruling over all those time zones, like, you know, like a punk rock God just going crazy. I don't see the connection, but yeah.

Well, it makes no sense. Just why would he go after gays right now? I just don't get it. I don't, I don't.

During the Olympics, too. Well, you know, he rides horses topless and shows what a man he is. So he has to. What else does he do with those horses?

And he hasn't come down against bestiality, has he? He also feeds them carrots. You know, I thought that about George Bush, too, and his horse. He, he, he was identifying a little.

Yeah. Something a little close, a little intimate. All right. So, so, yeah.

So have you always been so honest in your life or? I just, I don't have a big mouth. I can't tell. I can't hold secrets very well.

No, I just think the more honest you are about your life and sexuality. I mean, everything I do is totally cool and fun. And a lot of people are too embarrassed to do that. So the more people that are open about it, you know, just like all the TV shows where

they have gay people very prevalent in them now, more people feel comfortable being gay and coming out and gay clubs and high school. And the more you talk about it, the more people are cool with it. So have you had people say, hey, Mike, you have made me able to come out to my

girlfriend or boyfriend about my BDSM desires? Tons of people come out to me and tell me stuff similar to that. I call him the BDSM missionary. He's always trying to turn someone on.

Always recruiting people. Yeah. And what is your philosophy of BDSM? My philosophy of it?

Well, it's just, it's who I am. It's my lifestyle. And it's just, it's super fun. It's my sexuality.

And it's weird how it will never be included with the LBs and the Ts. And the Gs and the LBs. They'll never be a K for kinky because no one thinks it's... Come on, give us a K, please.

But it'll never, ever happen. But it is something, it's not about orientation. Like what it's about just having a good time. I mean, it's just...

Yeah, except for that we really believe that BDSM is like an intrinsic part of our sexuality. At least some of it. It's not all socially learned.

So deep that it is just like, you know, gay or lesbian or whatever. Like we feel like we were born this way. It's the first thing I was ever turned on by. And it wasn't...

I've gone through my past and there's no experience where, you know, I had some nanny who wore leather. It didn't happen. It's just I've always felt more comfortable.

Whose nannies wear leather? Well, maybe now they do. I don't know, but that would be rad. I'm sure nannies are wearing leather now.

But I, you know, the whole power exchange and being submissive to a woman and a woman you can worship and going through all these rituals and it's just, I feel comfortable doing that.

Have you ever been psychoanalyzed? Dr. Drew tried to psychoanalyze me. Can you please do it? And he's like, what is it?

He's like, what is it that happened to you when you were a kid that makes you like this? It doesn't have to happen. It doesn't have to be something.

It could just be hot and something you like. Right. Why is our sexuality supposedly based on something negative? It's just like what they said, you know,

about gay people. What happened to you when you were a kid? Why do you like this? Well, he phrases it in a negative way.

He says, what happened to you? But I guess I would say that, you know, your biology and your nurturance, your upbringing does have something to do with your sexuality.

You know, Dr. Drew has to frame it in a negative way. He could have said just, did anything like this happen to you when you were a child? Or did it happen to other people?

You know, a lot of people that are into BDSM, it didn't happen to them as a child. Right. And they were kind of jealous of the other kids

who got beaten, you know, in a way that's how I felt. I mean, I'm not like as hardcore as you guys, but I do enjoy Luper Cally and spankings.

And I just remember I only got spanked twice by my dad and the two times I thought were just so cool because the other times he'd laid guilt trips on me that never ended.

And the spanking just got it over with. It was very clear. My parents were never around. So it was like no attention law,

which that could have something to do with it too. Oh, yeah. Because this is a lot of attention. This kind of BDSM relationship is,

it almost requires attention for it to be good. Absolutely. You know. Oh, yeah.

We pay so much attention to each other. You know, it's crazy. It's a little detail set, you know, everything. Ah.

Were you an only child? Only child. And you know, my mom was manicurist and she worked all the time.

Sort of only child. I mean, you have a half-sister. You keep your nails clean. You're married.

I never, I saw her, you know, 12 times a year on a weekend. Did she have nice pedicures? And like I was, I was in third grade. I walked to school by myself, did everything by myself.

So I think that may have something to do with it. By having a maternal character, you know, in my life. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I mean, and I think that could be why a lot of people are opening up to it more these days, you know, because sex roles are changing

and this desire to be mothered, you know, is very strong in us. Whether we were mothered in a strong way and we want to get that back or we weren't mothered in a strong way

and we want to just experience what that's like. My mom also had a mirror above her bed and we're going to win those. Yeah.

We just ordered one. Ah. So. Okay.

Is that too much information? I don't know. I don't know. How is that too much?

I think you're good on that one. That was good information. That was good. Did you school dog through?

I mean, didn't everyone's mom have a mirror above their bed? Sure. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, mine did. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's really neat about the kind of relationships

that we have that there's so many little things that you don't notice and, you know, I feel like when I've dated people, it's not BDSM related.

You don't notice little things that, you know, like getting tea in the morning, how they like their coffee, you know, like very specific little tiny things.

So you're saying that we appreciate each other more? Yeah. Or do you know more things about each other? I don't know.

I mean, I guess I just feel like it, I guess it's not, you can't compare it to a different type of relationship because it's,

there's so much more to it. You do more for each other. Absolutely. Part of our dynamic is you do things for the other person.

And even in like what our dynamic, you know, like a few years ago it was just, it was like we would bounce back and forth between each other

and it would be like, did you do this? Yeah, I did that. Did you do this? And make sure that everybody had their,

everything was taken care of the way that it was, you know. And then there was that time we kept tag teaming her like, I'm done. You go.

Well, yeah. And it is like a team and it is, you know, just like an extreme sport or edge play. You got to pay attention

so that, you know, you don't lose each other so that you don't hurt each other. So we're not too much, you know. And so that attention is important.

And then there's also the, just freeing, the losing. This is what Luper Cali is all about. The, you know, letting out steam is just,

you know, people have a certain amount of violent energy. And this is what the bonobos do. They channel their violent energy into play. And I believe, you know,

and I know it's a little bit stretching because BDSM is such a human thing, right? It's such a, it seems to require so much thought and human understanding.

But I feel that animals do it sometimes when they play rough. Absolutely. You know, and when they swat each other.

Well, there's power exchanges throughout the species. Yes, yes. And bonobos seem to have a very, very heightened, sensitive sense of discipline

that we don't quite understand because we don't speak their language. They do learn to speak our language much more easily than we can learn to speak theirs.

But what we can see is that they play and they smack each other. And, you know, interestingly the females are more often the ones meeting out

the discipline than the males. Although the males are stronger physically. But they have established this balance where even though the males are stronger

and could easily hurt the females much worse, the females wind up doing more of the disciplining. And it's like a channeling of this violent energy into consensual,

well, I don't know if with bonobos it's always consensual. But it's certainly non-lethal. It's non-lethal erotic play.

Camille Palia talks a lot about those kind of energies, doesn't she? Yes, she does. I'm sure you've read a lot of her stuff.

I mean, even like football. Yeah. Football is one of those places that we channel our violent energies as a culture.

Well, she talks about, you know, culture being too politically correct. And she likes sports. I'm not necessarily a big fan of football,

but, you know, How about wrestling or boxing? Wrestling. Oh, yeah.

Bad men. I used to wrestle with my brother. Yeah. I have erotic connotation.

Very violent. Absolutely. Especially when you hit people with the bowling. Bowling champion right here, though.

Bowling champion. You are. Bowling champion. You wore that medal for an entire weekend.

Yeah. He actually wore it in kind of a... I used to wear it to BDSM events. Yeah, because everyone is showing up in their sashes.

They've got good aim. They've won some kind of international whatever. Miss Leather. And every time we would talk to someone who would go,

Hi, I'm Mike. I'm a bowling champion. Well, I'd have her introduce me that way. This is my new boyfriend, Mike.

He's a bowling champion. He's a bowling champion. Aw. I'm so proud about that medal.

Well, you know, you have to... Yeah. That whole year I got to... Yeah.

I'll never brag. Yeah, absolutely. I'll never happen again. How do you know?

You can only be a champion once. Well, you could keep, you know, practicing. You could enter different leagues. That's true.

All right. So... You know what they say. We're almost done with our show tonight.

This is your first time here at the new Bonobo Ville. It's great. Yeah. Well, you just kind of got here.

Yeah. And we are renovating. And it's going to be beautiful. This place is so cool.

Yeah, it's super cool. It's kind of like... Thank you. It feels like a sexual Melrose place.

Melrose place. Yes. Yeah. Isn't it?

Yes. Absolutely. It is. It's a lot of fun.

And it's got balconies. Yeah. You can tie people too. It's beautiful.

And it's got, you know, levels. And it's going to be great. But we're going to have some fun here after the show. Captain Max is back there.

Hi, Captain Max. Hi. Hi, Gabby. Hi, Gabby.

Hi, Captain. You want to say hi on the mic? Just say hello. Yeah.

Yeah. Say happy Lupercalia. Yeah. Yeah.

Grab that microphone. All right. Hi, everybody. Happy Lupercalia.

And yeah, that's it. Oh, that's it? That's about it. How are you doing?

Yeah. We had fun last night for Valentine's Day. Yeah, we had fun. Yeah.

We went to a nice hotel that nobody else went to. Yeah. And because it's in El Segundo. Yeah.

Near the airport. Yeah. It was nice. We went to vacation in El Segundo.

We went to vacation in El Segundo. Right? We did. I didn't realize it was there.

But that's where it was. And one of the really nicest hotels. And I've traveled all over the world. One of the nicest hotels.

Wow. That I've ever stayed in. With great food. Real cheap.

One night. Let's promote it. Food, champagne. Sweet's hotel.

Embassy Suites. But don't go to the Embassy Suites north. Because that's kind of crappy. I've heard that.

But Embassy Suites south is. Real plants. Real plants. Real plants.

Beautiful. Real plants. Nice. Well with some fake ones.

Balconies. And a swimming pool. It's indoor outdoor. Jacuzzi.

And Jacuzzi. $288. For lunch. For dinner.

For breakfast. Room service. Room service. With champagne.

Yeah. Absolutely. Good deal. We're Jewish.

We got to get a good deal for Valentine's Day. We paid about that for the eight ball. Yeah. For the eight ball of coke.

And the lube. And the lube. And the lube. And the lube.

Yeah. So. All right. Embassy Suites.

Great next time, right? We watched, what do we watch? Oh. We watched at the bar.

We watched these crazy people going down the slide. Oh yeah. The Olympics where these ladies get on the sled. Skeleton is called?

It's called the skeleton. And their head is based down. I mean, it's crazy. It's crazy.

Why do they do that? I don't know. It's, you know, it's, it looks like a, you know, a sperm swimming upstream, but that's because I have a dirty mind.

And then that new show on HBO, which is just like the pits of the pits of the pits. Fortunately, I don't remember the name of it. Me either. Right.

Just another cop, cop story. So many cop stories on television. Oh, I think I saw that. It's just ridiculous.

Yeah. This one's with Woody Harrelson. Oh. It's a new.

Oh, we like it. We do like Woody. You do love it. We love it.

You know, it is so violent. It is so vile. And it's, it's badly done. Yes.

Yes. I grew up as an actor and some, it's just pleased. Give me something to, for my brain. I'll agree with you.

Yeah. Well, yeah. I mean, it's all right if people want to watch it, but it's kind of predictable. It's just one of the reasons that most of the other countries are ahead of us nowadays.

Yeah. You're talking about Australia? I'm talking about a lot of countries that are way ahead of us. The gentle rising.

I'm talking about a country that we live in that kills its own citizens. Oh, I think this country is in the top 15 countries. I'm killing its own citizens. I think we're in the top 15 top 20.

Of just citizens surviving? I don't know. I was in the Philippines. We're way better in the Philippines for sure.

Because we ruined the Philippines. Better than Indonesia. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

But we're not talking about those countries. We're talking about America. We're in the top 15. We're talking about America.

I don't care about the Philippines. They can have their own fucking revolution. Russia can have their own revolution. They can.

We're talking about, of course they can. All countries must have their own revolution because otherwise we're meddling in people's demonizing them. Iceland did not have a revolution.

They seceded from Denmark and they said, we're seceding and Denmark said, okay. Iceland's gotten crazy. That's fine.

Not a revolution. That's fine. But I don't like to have people killed in my name. You don't like Iceland.

Wait. Iceland ban stripping. I don't care about Iceland. I only care about America.

I'm a patriot. Don't you care about stripping? Who cares what they do in other countries? They ban stripping.

They went overboard with feminism. Iceland. Iceland ban stripping. Yeah.

They ban stripping. They ban, like, I mean, I guess you can do it in your living room, but you can't do it in a strip club. You cannot earn an honest living in a strip club.

It's a country. Well, it is. It's going to make it really lucrative underground. I want to go stripping Iceland now.

That's what's going to happen. That's great. That's what's going to happen. All right.

So, it's just like they have gay clubs in Russia and I ran. It's a great time to be gay in Russia. Right? Yeah.

I kind of like Russia. You do. I hate when we demonize other countries. Okay.

In general. In general. We demonize them. Look to your own house.

And we're one of the worst violent societies the world has ever known. George Bush. I went to the internet the other day and I said, who killed more people? George Bush or Saddam Hussein?

Well, obviously Bush. The answer was George Bush. That's not surprising. Well, it's not surprising except as an American, I'm rather offended.

Right. Sure. Well, sure. This man should be brought to trial.

Well, George Bush ruined the country and helped ruin the world. So until... So we should bring him to trial. What do you think about that?

Well, he's wanted in several countries that he can't go to. Well, that's nice to know. Let's bring him to San Francisco. Yeah.

Jerry likes that. Fuck him in the ass. To the Ninth District Court. Yeah, they'll give it to you.

They're very liberal, the Ninth District Court. I'd be gay if that was... If I get to fuck George Bush in the ass, yeah. I'd be fucking the ass.

You could do it with a juxtable leather blogger. Blog him first and then... Anyway, you know... Drill.

Drill dope. People should have their revolutions. People are going to die when those revolutions take place. But when you meddle, you make enemies for lifetimes.

And, you know, there's hundreds of thousands of people all over the world. Yeah. Just there. There's...

They're all over the place. Serious. It's a true statement. Okay.

He needs more vlogging for Lupercalia. There's no doubt about that. Anyway. And we got to, I think, wind up.

So, hi. Happy Lupercalia. Let's wind this shit up. Yeah.

Let's wind this shit up. Can we just very quickly invite... Do your thing. People to come to a boys' event?

I wanted to make sure that you and Captain Max got your invitation to the fundraiser. It's going to be at Sanctuary. I would love to come. It's on a Saturday night, though.

But anyway, promote, promote. Yeah, if you can't come. Yeah, maybe after. All people are welcome except for the gay.

Yeah, we don't... I'm not down for gay people. Putin is running the guest list. No gay people are people from Iceland are allowed.

So... Not Russia, though. So then there's no stripping? Aw, I thought it was topless.

Okay, so give us the basic details. It's at Sanctuary, which is very close to LAX. And where do people get that phone number? Are they listed?

Yeah, it's what? Sanctuarystudios.com? Just look it up. Sanctuary.com.

Sanctuary. It's a dungeon. In LA. On La Cienega, right?

Is it La Cienega? Yeah, it's on La Cienega. That's right. And it's February 22nd.

Yeah. It's at 9 o'clock. It's $25 door cover, and I'm taking 100% for my surgery. Wow.

So everything that comes in goes to me. Aren't you greedy? Yeah. I'll be dealing Blackjack.

$7,000. Yeah, no, you need it. You're dealing Blackjack? Oh, and you're shooting.

Jux Lee is shooting. Yeah, I'm MC and doing something with milk. Milk? Mm-hmm.

You're gonna, like, give milk? You're gonna pour milk out of your breast? Yeah. Do you lactate?

Oh, man, I wish I did. I wish I did, no. I wish you did, too. I know.

Oh, that would be a real mommying experience. Breast milk ice cream. That'll happen one day. You've been talking about that for a long time.

Anyway, everyone's invited. In peace, ladies. We'd love to have you. All right, and soon we're gonna get a new, like, project from you guys.

We're not gonna say anymore, or unless you have anything more to say. Just something new is brewing. We're still in secret, secret project. Okay, but on your Twitter, it said you were gonna share secrets.

Oh, man. Really? Oh, I did. I did.

Oh, that you're getting married? I told about the closer... Oh, oh, the cream pie eating. Yeah.

Mm. I know a secret. Enjin Jo is ticklish. And is he a tickle fetishist?

I don't know. I don't think Hannah Barbara ever went there. You know what? Different generation.

You people don't get my humor. Sorry. We were talking about the Brady Munch earlier. I know.

Well... Thank you, Dr. Suzy. Oh, thank you, guys. We gotta go, but we're gonna continue the Lupercalyan celebration a little bit on the balconies of new Bonoboville.

By the way, Bonoboville, the social media site, is starting up, and we'd love for you to join us in beta. And, you know, connect with fellow Bonobo lovers. And, yeah, support the Bonobos, you know?

I mean, after you donate to taking Maddie's tits off, you wanna help save the Bonobos from extinction. You know, if you take out the N and the O, you got boob. Yeah.

You know? I don't need any more of that, though. That's a good way to think. Or you have Bono, also.

Ooh, overrated. Overrated. I also don't need any more of that, either. Ma'am, can I go to the bathroom now?

I have time, too. You can in a minute. A couple more minutes. I'm gonna give you a jux-leather flogger of your choice.

Ooh. Let's see. Brown. I want the crunchy one.

The crunchy? Crunchy? Black. It'll match your coat.

Did you get one? I didn't get one. You didn't get one? What color?

I don't... I think I want the gold one, just because it's yellow. Gold. Nothing says lesbian like gold.

Ooh. Said no one. I don't know if she's in the lesbian category anymore. I don't even know what I am.

No. Well, Facebook will let you know. Yeah. You'll always be a closer to me, boy.

I'm always gonna be the closer. Yeah. Jux-leather februah. Yes.

To whack the ones you love or just love dafter. Yes. And let's see. Make like bonobos not baboons.

Spank for Lupercalia. And make love to someone you love tonight. Even if that someone is you. I love you.

All right. Woo. Okay. Need to talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else.

You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves, but my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences,

specializing in sex therapy over the phone. Anytime you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination,

my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you, role play for you, fantasize with you.

No fantasy is too taboo and help you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. For more information, call us at 213-291-9497.

That's 213-291-9497 anytime you need to talk. You're listening to Radio Suzy 1 on the World Wide Web.