A Bedside Chat in the Coronapocalypse

Full transcript of A Bedside Chat in the Coronapocalypse on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

Need to talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else? You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves, but my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy over the phone.

Anytime you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination, my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you, role-play for you, fantasize with you, no fantasy is too taboo, and help you with anything from impotence to

exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. For more information call us at 213-291-9497. That's 213-291-9497 anytime you need to talk. You're listening to Radio Susie One on the World Wide Web, and now here she is, Dr. Susan Block.

Lovers, artists and exhibitionists, lawyers and connoisseurs, all you children of sex, and yes, we are all children of sex with a capital X. Can I get an amen?

Not so many amens tonight. How about an A-women? A-women! All right, all right. The Church of the Venovo Way is now in session, and we're all six feet apart, six feet apart now.

Yes, indeed. This is my first in my new series of bedside chats

from the corona apocalypse. We don't have a bed at the moment, but a lot of us use couches as beds, right? I mean, we're couch potatoes, you know?

Not you, you're the big red tomato head, but right now, serving your couch, which used to be a sign that you're a lazy fuck, is

evidence that you are a good citizen. Yes, indeed. I think I could take my goggles off. There aren't any

stray droplets right in front of me, so I'm doing good. Yeah. Now, we can all just hang out in bed or on a couch and chat. I don't know if I need this thing right now,

the mask. By the way, I've used this mask like three times, four times, so I'm not taking one from an actual healthcare worker. I might put it on again, though, but

it's kind of fun. Oops, I think it's all tied up and whatever. But anyway, maybe I'll just keep it down like this. So it makes a great choker, right? Yeah, right. So I'm not mocking the situation at all. I'm just,

you know, an irrepressible funny finder, and so, you know, laughter is a mental orgasm, and Lord and Lady knows we need as many forms of pleasure as we can get. Try not to make fun of people, unless we're talking about Mr. Tomato Head there, I mean, but

and some other people, you know, but really, I mean, it's it's it's good to just find some humor in a very difficult situation for everybody.

Yes, indeed. Even the billionaires have to like only hang out in one house, or their yacht, you know, but they have to choose. It's hard on them. As as we know.

So anyway, I'm here on my couch, which has been used as a bed, it's it's kind of a bed. And just like my mom's favorite president, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, FDR, used to hold fireside chats. We've got a fire right there in the back and back of Max.

Hi, Max. Hey, how are you doing? Good. Good. We're sheltering in place. We sure are. We're self-isolating together. And Sunshine's over here. Sunshine is also self-isolating with us. And we're Bonoboville isolating, I guess.

Bonoboville is isolating, and that's why we don't have guests in studio. But we're having a chat, you know, and just like FDR had his fireside chats. Well, yeah, and Bernie Sanders is also having fireside chats. I think a few other

people are doing this because it's cozy as our bedside chats, you know. Bedside chats are maybe even cozier. You bet. And so I'm here with my doctor, Dr. Bonobo, and he's also wearing a used mask. So he's here to help.

Dr. Bonobo that Anna gave me, Anna and Miguel. He's a curious George Bonobo. Yes. And we have to support him and all of his fellow medical people, doctors and nurses, you know. I never felt like thanking our troops for making war and bombing people and shooting people and not protecting us from anything besides goodwill of foreign people.

But I go down on my knees, baby. Well, anyway, thank you. I don't think I'll do the knees thing right now. But thank you to our doctors and nurses, and they really do need our support and equipment, equipment. You billionaires, right? Sell one of those mansions and buy a bunch of ventilators and masks and gowns. How about it? Anyway, bedside chats. I started them actually during the first world war, not the first world war.

That would make me really old. But that was when the first, there was an influenza break out, which we'll talk about maybe later. But right after the first world war. But I started my bedside chats right during the first Gulf War, which was kind of a world war because Bush senior got all the countries involved. They sent like one person each, and then the U.S. and England sent the rest. And, yeah, it was supposedly over in like a month, but really it's still going on.

And so, yeah, we were against the war, you know, and we're still against wars, except for this war that we are now waging against COVID-19. All right, except instead of, you know, guns and ammo and bombs, we are fighting with hand sanitizer and wipes. And, yeah, this is our weaponry, and we need more of it. So God and Goddess knows if the military needs anything, even if they don't need things, we find the money to buy it.

So why don't we find the money to buy some sanitizer and masks and gowns and ventilators and other necessary equipment and some toilet paper while we're at it? I mean, you know, those Pentagon toilets cost like $600 each, maybe buy a few less and get the people shaman, right? Or do you like Angel Soft? I'm not picky.

Oh, wow. I just want toilet paper. You're a woman for the Corona apocalypse. I guess so. I set my alarm at 8.30 this morning to go. They have a shipment at CBS.

Yes, I heard about that, and you told everyone that people were waiting in line for the toilet paper. All the way down the building, all the side of the building, I couldn't believe it. The line was so long, but... It was 9.10. It woke me up. Wow.

Sorry, because people need toilet paper. It was so funny, though. I had to laugh and then go back to sleep. Yeah, yeah. People need certain basics. You know, you get to know what's important in life in a situation like this. They told me when they got the shipment in two weeks ago, they said they were out of toilet paper in an hour, so it's really that serious.

Although, when I was in India in Nepal, you didn't use toilet paper. You used your left hand with water, which is actually a cleaner thing to do, and you kind of push some water up between your cheeks or over your genitalia, your junk. And, yeah, you got it clean, and then you washed your hand, but you still, you shouldn't shake hands. Well, now you shouldn't shake hands with anybody, but you shouldn't shake hands with your left hand when everything is good in India or Nepal, because that's the hand you use.

Or wipey wipe. But see, they're not going to run out of toilet paper. And then there's the bidet. The bidet. Max, you love a bidet, don't you? They know all about bidets.

They did have bidets in Japan. You can wash your socks in them, and your underwear, and all that stuff. But don't poop in the bidet, like the guy in the Henry Miller book, Tropic of Cancer. He pooped in the bidet. Because he thought that's what it was.

Yeah, a lot of people think that. Okay, maybe bidets are different in other countries in Japan. Don't poop in the bidet. You just poop in the toilet, and then you press the thing that wipes your butt.

Oh, yeah, but then it splashes everywhere. Well, I guess, yeah, you'd probably flush it, and then you press, there's little buttons. You press a button, and it sprays your butt. And don't you have to clean your seat toilet seat? I mean, the poop's not going on the toilet seat.

Like, it's just, you go to the bathroom in the toilet, and then there's a little tube, like, in the toilet, and it just sprays you. Well, our bidet, we have a bidet, actually, and it's kind of a makeshift bidet from the shower. I created that bidet. It's very nice.

You don't want to poop in there, because then you'd be pooping in the shower. Right, but it's a beautiful bidet in the shower. People, I don't know if you can use that for poop, but, you know, for pee, yeah, maybe. Well, why not? You're wiping your ass in there anyway, and it's got all the little crumbly toilet paper stuck to your hair, and then the hot shit.

So, why not? And by the way, as the New York Department of Public Health, I think it is, says there is coronavirus in fecal matter. They use the word fecal matter. So, no rimming. Don't be rimming.

Yeah, I can't believe that the New York Public Health Department talks about rimming, which is very cool, but you're not supposed to do it. That means licking, you know, analengous, like, cunnilingus, except with the butthole. Don't do it. But I mean, why are you even doing that? Because you're supposed to be six feet away from people, right?

So, it's... What if you're, like, in a relationship for a long time, right? Well, yeah, but then, I guess... You're already isolating together, right?

Right, and then why can't you lick each other's butt? You probably can. So, I don't know about this no rimming rule, except, I guess it applies if you're kind of not sure of somebody, like, you're living together, you're sheltering in place, but they went out. I don't know. But these rules are very strict, but also a little bit flexible. So, bedside chat seems kind of right to bring it back, you know?

I don't know when I stopped using that term for my shows, but, you know, I feel like whether we're headed for a great depression or not, you know, whether or not you're depressed, it's time for some deep rest. And, you know, a good place to do that is in bed, or on the couch. And yet you can't be sleeping all the time, so sometimes you've got to watch a show, have a chat.

Yeah. So, there's a viewer that someone from Seattle, that's a hotspot. Mayor of Seattle just said, quote, unquote, we still have almost no testing in the Seattle area. Oh, that's crazy. It's blind in many ways for games, state versus state, city versus city.

We've got to come together as a country, and the nation needs to lead CNN COVID-19. Yeah, I agree with, I guess, the mayor of Seattle or the person? Who's the person? The commenter is Sheena Carrick, correct her?

Sheena, thank you for your comment. And yes, people can comment on Facebook Live, you guys, you can comment and we'll address your comments or ask questions right there on Facebook Live, Sunshine, is checking you out. And then if you want to give us a call, our number is 626-4615212.

That's 626-4615212 if you want to talk to us, you know, phone. Let's bring back that phone, you know. Let's just bring back the phone because... That's okay, they can still hear you.

It's coming. Yeah, so the camera is not working somewhere? Okay. Okay.

All right, well, hello there, camera too. Okay. So, yeah, so you can give us a call. And you know, whether you have something to talk about in relation to the corona apocalypse

or you want to talk specifically about sex in isolation, hibernation, which is mostly masturbation, yeah. But you know, there's a few other possibilities, no rimming, but a few other possibilities which we'll talk about, mostly with your significant other that you are sheltering with

and absolutely sure of, someone you can trust. And that's a whole other subject, how do you know who you can trust? Right. Hard to know, unless you're with each other almost 24-7 like me and Max.

So, stay the fuck home, brothers and sisters, lovers and centers. It's important not just because of you, you know, I mean, I've been talking to people who say, I'm healthy, I'm healthy. Well, maybe you are, but I know healthy people are getting this.

And also, you could pass it on, you could be a spreader. I just read a story on the news about a 17-year-old died in LA from... Yes. He was not sick, he was young, and he didn't have health insurance,

so they wouldn't take him at an urgent care. And then he was on his way, they told him to go to emergency. And on his way, he died. Only 17.

Yeah. So, you know, it's bad in LA, it's worse in Seattle. I know, it's definitely worse in Seattle from what I hear. And worse, I just mean in terms of statistics.

I mean, if it's your loved one who dies or you who can't breathe, it doesn't really matter where you are. And it is happening everywhere, every continent, except Antarctica. So, yeah.

So, here we are, it's a bedside chat. And we're drinking Corona beers. Yep, doing our part to help out the beer industry. Woo!

Because... Don't blame the beer. Don't blame the beer. We don't want a boycott them.

I mean, not that I have any love lost for Anheuser-Busch, or any of these corporations that are losing some money. You can handle it, guys. You don't need the bailout.

The people do. The working people and the out-of-work people need the bailout. Not the billionaires and the corporations. Nevertheless, you know, it's not the beer's fault.

Do you know Scott Barry Kaufman? I do, I know Scott Barry Kaufman. What's with him? Because he went to Yale, like me.

I've got my For God country and Yale pillow that I'm leaning on for comfort. And my Yale bulldog, bulldog panties that I'm wearing, which are actually very comfortable. And Scott, yeah, Barry, Scott Barry Kaufman.

I met him at Sex Week at Yale years ago when we had Sex Week at Yale. And he's a psychology professor and author, best-selling author. And he talks about creativity. He interviewed me about the Bonobo way.

He's a very cool guy, so what's he got to say? Hi, Susan. Hope you're staying safe. Okay. Maybe he'll come on the show.

Yeah, Scott, Barry, Barry Scott. Come on the show. Come on the show. Call us. Okay, so the number is 626-461-5212.

Or just tell us how you're doing. You know, are you sheltering in place? And, like, is this psychologist having any psychological issues? How about sexual?

I mean, if you're not having sexual issues, there might be something wrong with you. You know, I think everyone, well, maybe not everyone. Actually, there are a lot of people who shelter in place all the time and only masturbate.

And so, you know, it's not that different. So you guys, we always make fun of you and we will continue to. But maybe you can help us out here with some tips if you want to call us, too, or comment on Facebook.

But I'm very proud of my Yale brethren and sistren who are very much in the front lines of helping out on all levels of this crisis, this war with no bombs. This is the kind of war I believe in.

And I also don't believe in some of these other crap wars, like the war on drugs, you know. Or even the war on terrorism since we, the United States, tend to be the biggest terrorists.

I mean, and terror is such a kind of vague thing. But COVID-19 is not vague. It is a germ, it is a virus that is killing a lot of people. And yeah, and right now we're showing a slide of the Trump virus,

which is funny, because of course, yeah, I don't blame Trump for the virus and I don't blame China and I don't blame anyone. I kind of blame humanity in general,

because we are doing so much damage to the earth and over-industrializing and so, of course, the earth is, in a way, mother earth, our mother, the earth is fighting back and kind of trying to sacrifice

her most deadly children for the sake of her other children, you know, the other animals and the trees and the oceans full of fish. And they're doing a lot better, you know, really.

Nature is kind of having an ecogasm right now with less anthropocene human activity. It's kind of marvelous, that is, if you don't give a damn about humans. But yeah, I do love nature and bonobos and I love dolphins and all that,

but I love humans and so I got to be part of the war against coronavirus. So this is a war I believe in, this is a war, even though I feel it is our fault we started it, that I, you know, want to win.

So I'm excited that a lot of my compadres from Yale are doing such a good job and that so many people out there, I mean, you know, the doctors, the nurses, and of course the grocery clerks.

Yeah, yeah. And people being crazy, people like, like stupid people like coughing on them because they think it's funny. Oh yeah, those are the boomer removers.

Yes, yes, yes, they think that it won't happen to young people, but it does, as you said, it's not happening as great numbers, but it is happening and it is, you know, really crazy for everybody, but at the same time, you know, some people feel very kind of invincible, yeah, yeah.

I know some of those people, I've talked to them, I talked to some of them today, but you know, and I try to convince them to take care, not just for themselves, but for everyone.

Right now, we definitely feel, some of us feel, that we are one humanity and we are connected, we are all interconnected and we always are. It's just that we don't usually feel it because capitalism makes us,

you know, it enhances our sense of competition and jealousy and envy and individualism. And hey, I'm kind of an individualist myself, so, you know, I try not to be jealous,

but this understanding that we're all in this together is very profound and makes some of us aware that, hey, wait a second, we're all in this together, but some of us have a billion dollars and some of us have nothing.

And so that's not terribly together. We need to rectify that. We really do, while we're aware, like now. I don't know if we can, but we should.

And we should also recognize how we got this, in a way, from Mother Earth, from how we made Mother Earth sick, in a way that we've made Mother Earth

and the whole atmosphere like a coronavirus patient, you know, feverish with global warming and hurricane sneezes and coughing fits that are like earthquakes or, you know, fires

and damaged lungs of the rainforest. You know, this is what we've wreaked upon the Earth. We've seen it, you know, quite vividly for the past few years and it's been happening for, you know, quite a while,

for a few thousand years, but really the past hundred years have been quite rapid. And the Earth is getting shortness of breath. Really.

So she's fighting back Mother Earth. And I sympathize, but I'm not on, I guess I'm on the side of humanity, being human. I want to live, I want my friends to live,

I want my family to live, I want you to live. And so we have to fight with all our might and we have to stop listening to the Trump virus because he's, it's, what did that other Cuomo say?

A combination of ignorance and arrogance. This is why we keep him gagged with an old St. Patty's Day balloon. That's right.

So he can't talk here because anything he says is either arrogant or ignorant or both. And will be held against him.

I hope so. I don't know, I don't know about that, but I hope so, but in any case we have to fight for our lives. So whether or not he has to pay in a personal way, we have to move ahead and I say this to all of us

and especially our governors and I don't know if any governors, I guess some governors are being kind of Trumpish, but I think most governors are doing the best they can and it's a hard, hard situation.

Yeah. So we don't have any guests in studio. We are going to have a guest, a couple of guests tonight. I'm excited.

I mean, not that we haven't done webcam before, but it's fun. It's a way to stay many more than six feet away and still be intimate.

You know, you can have a webcam sex. Oh, that's nice. It's fun. You know, the corona apocalypse deprives us

of our sense of touch totally, I mean other things as well, but really we're not allowed to touch and touch is so important.

I'm a sex therapist. I'm not going to deny that touch is super, super important, not just to sex, but to life. I mean, studies have shown that baby monkeys

just won't eat and get very sick and die when they're not touched. And they're primates like us. You know, human babies are no different.

Human people are no different. When we aren't touched, we go crazy and we are going crazy. So that's my problem.

Yeah. Well, you know, that's when you got to touch yourself. I mean, yeah, it's not maybe as good. I mean, no, I'm pretty good.

In some ways it's better. In some ways you are your best lover. You know, make love to someone you love, even if that someone is you.

Yes, indeed. And you know how to love yourself. You've probably been doing it a lot anyway. So now doing it makes you a good citizen,

not just a wanker. Now we're doing it for civic duty. That's right. For civic duty, touch your own booty.

That's a good one. So, are we ready for our first webcam guest? Yes. All right, so we're very excited to have

the lovely, kinky, sexy, adorable and spankable cox-loving Violet. Hi, Violet. I'm looking at Violet and she's looking at us

and waving. So you look adorable in your blue hair and red sort of top there. And Harry, right in front.

I have to be able to see Violet. Yeah, that's good. So I like your cleavage. Yeah, because that was going to stay down.

I was going to say, nice Gigi's lady. Yeah, you're looking good. And so how are you doing in the Corona apocalypse? Well, I'm an essential at my regular job.

So I'm keeping this in that part. Well, I wasn't going to talk about your regular job and you don't have to say what it is. Interesting.

You are an essential worker. I would say you're kind of essential as a porn star. But no, no, no, no, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

You are. But here's the thing. The essential aspects of you are on tape. They're preserved digitally so people can keep watching.

And of course you can also do webcam shows, I guess. That's true. Maybe you will. So anyway, but you're an essential worker.

So what is that experience like? I mean, I feel like it's like I'm on one hand I feel blessed to still have a job when a lot of my friends are out of work right now and wondering how they're going to pay their rent.

And on the other hand, I feel at risk going to work every day where I'm around a lot of people. You know. Well, yeah.

Do you have a mask or anything? My brother's girlfriend is actually sewing some right now. Okay. You know, these sewn masks are no nothing to joke about.

They're pretty good. You know, as you can use them. I mean, they're probably as good as the one I got here, which is a surgical mask, not the best, not that kind

that the doctors are supposed to be wearing anyway and the nurses. But, you know, you're not directly encountering someone you know has coronavirus and you're staying distances away, I guess, from the people you're working with. So basically just keeping this on is if somebody just, I choose you,

which nobody should do. But, you know, if you keep a little homemade mask or something like that on, it really, I think they say it kind of helps as long as they, you know, it's not too bad, you know.

And I don't think it would help the doctors very much because they get very, very close when they intubate you. Oh my God. That's about as intimate as you can get.

Talk about a forced blow job. But terrible. Not something you want to do. But in any case, okay.

So you should be wearing a mask, darling, for you and for the world. But of course, we don't like to hide that beautiful face. So I'm glad you're not wearing one now. So, okay.

So how are you doing, like, mentally? What should I say emotionally? How do you feel about this? You're so young and you're going through something.

Are you scared? That nobody who's alive, I don't think, except maybe really, really old people who lived through the influenza of 1918. I think nobody's lived through anything like this.

That was 1918. So like, we would need someone that's like 102. More than 102. Yeah, because they wouldn't remember 105.

So let's be safe and say like nobody's ever lived through anything like this. This is a reality show. If you're 110, please call the show and tell us about your Spanish flu experience. And we can compare and contrast notes.

But how do you feel to go through this kind of thing, Violet? I mean, I think it is scary, you know, and like, I think a lot. I'm like picking up on a lot of my friends as panic and stuff, you know, my friends even have symptoms, you know, and like that's scary.

They have symptoms. Yeah. But like a lot of my friends who have symptoms can't even get tested, you know, because the tests aren't readily available.

Are they trying to? Are they calling and saying, I have symptoms? They're supposed to come over with a test if you have symptoms. They're not, they're not, they're like, hey, I have symptoms.

Some of them they're like, well, unless you have like, know someone who's tested positive for coronavirus, you can't even get tested. Some of them are like, well, you don't have this symptom, so you can't get tested or like whatever it is.

Yeah. This is why it's spreading. And the Republicans are trying to thin out humanity a little bit. Well, yeah, that we think is a thing going on.

I mean, they're not responsible for the virus and neither are the Chinese. Don't make jokes about China virus. Nor corona beer. Nor corona beer.

But you know, I mean, the way that these Trump publicans are dealing with it, it does seem like they're trying to, you know, kind of get rid of some people, poor people, old people. They call that genocide in other countries.

And that's what they call it on Twitter right now. That's what that's actually called. It's actually trending Trump genocide. Because I guess the COVID test is only for celebrities.

I mean, basically that's what it seems like. That's the only people that are all these, oh, this celebrity tested positive for it. Only celebrities are getting tested. They're the only ones that they're giving the test to.

So I guess if you're rich, you can afford it. And if not, then just die yourself right now. And you know what? That sucks.

Big time. It really does. We have to somehow let it be known that we are not going to put up with that. And we are in our own way with our show.

I try to tweet stuff, you know. You can't go out and demonstrate right now because you can't get near people. Maybe we'll figure out some sort of a six feet apart demonstration. A six feet apart protest.

When the weather is warmer. Can we do a six feet apart? Why not? You can't protest.

You could. Well, no, you can't because now they're starting to actually kind of quasi-arrest people. Right. And so if you're just standing around, they're going to say you're not an essential worker.

So anyway, so you're an essential worker. So you can walk around with a little protest sign on your way back and forth to work. Tests should be more available. We need tests.

We do. Come on, folks. Test, test, test. That is the difference between South Korea and Italy.

Is it South Korea tested a whole bunch of people? And Italy, I mean, Italy is great. You know, I love the sing-alongs that they have on the balcony. They are amazing.

They're such good singers as opposed to some of the American attempts. Like, forget about that John Lennon Imagine thing, Gail Gadot. That should never have been done. But I mean, the problem is we're all going nuts from lack of touch, even celebrities.

Cabin fever. Yeah, yeah. But the Italians know how to sing and they're great musicians and they get out there. And they also have a very good health system.

I don't want people to think they don't because they do. And it's socialist and it usually takes care of everything. They've been in austerity. Everybody's doing austerity, you know, rap and it sucks.

We can't be doing this austerity thing. And we don't have to. We don't have to. We don't have to have this bloated military.

And we don't have to let billionaires just take all our money because that's basically what they do when we don't tax them. So anyway, back to you. Violet.

So you're going to make a little sign so you can protest. And so how about, you know, porn? I mean, you're a porn star and you're with gas mask girl. Of course, we love gas mask girl.

In fact, gas mask girl found you through us. And I always have to take credit because Manny doesn't always give me credit. Although we love Manny and he sometimes gives me credit. And we love gas mask girl.

And Ron Jeremy too, right? Oh, and Ron Jeremy is now, and they met Ron Jeremy through the Dr. Susan Block show. So, you know, where they're casting couch. Casting couch.

Casting couch. And unlike Matt Gaetz who wore this to make fun of the coronavirus, we're not really making fun of the coronavirus. This is actually a prop that gas mask girl uses and they left it here, I guess.

And so I gave gas mask girl an award, a Susie award for most timely fetish of 2019. And I usually am very happy when my predictions are prescient. But in this case, I'm very sad that I didn't know how timely it would be. I mean, we're not wearing this kind of mask, you know, unless we're Matt Gaetz or, you know, gas mask girl.

But we are wearing masks like crazy and we have to. And it's just all happening so fast. So how's Manny doing? Is he sheltering in place?

Last I heard he was traveling. Oh my God. You know, Manny's traveling? Yeah.

He said he was traveling in Europe, so I don't know where he is. Is he in Italy? Oh my God. Italy, France, Spain, England, actually everywhere.

Germany's doing fairly well with it, but everywhere is a problem. Did he start traveling before this or during it? I believe so. I don't know, but I mean, I think it was just when it first came to the U.S. that he was like, yeah, I've been traveling.

You know, people. I guess the plane tickets were supposed to be super cheap, but now they're not letting people do it. I had a friend who went to the Philippines right before Corona. She had no idea like this whole thing was going to happen.

She was in the Philippines and then like a weekend, it happened. And then like all these tourist things, they were like, nope, you can't come here, you can't come here. And she's like, what? She was not expecting this at all. Why can't I come here? And then they're like, oh well, Corona.

And then like eventually they told her you need to go back home because the Corona is too big. I don't know. Yeah, you know, I'm hearing this from all kinds of people that they're traveling or they're running around and they don't have essential jobs. Or whatever.

And I just don't think enough people are taking it seriously. That's my thought. And I know other people have other opinions. And yet from what I'm hearing and what I'm seeing as the death count rises,

it seems that now is the time to, as they say, flatten the curve and have those bedside chats preferably over the phone. You know, because you got to stay six feet apart unless you're significant others. So Violet, what are you doing?

I mean you're not doing porn, I'm guessing, like porn with other people. Do you make your own porn like just masturbating? You know, it's my next step. It's like especially in this quarantine, like having more extra times.

I'm not out socializing and stuff. It's like setting up an only pants and stuff is definitely like in the horizon for me. Oh yeah, you got to do that girl. Now's the time.

You got all this time to do it. Right. Yeah. Wow.

So I guess the porn industry is kind of shut down for now. Although I'm sure people are masturbating, making their little films at home. People, you know, couples that are committed or know each other well and kind of are sheltering together.

Why not make a porn together? And then there's the question of coronavirus porn. What about that? You ever think about that?

Like the hazmat suit put on some sort of, you know, strategically placed hole but it would have to be, I don't know. I don't know how you would do it. There's lots of videos and stuff.

You could do that. All the stripper sites I'm on, they have this one video where some hot girls in a hazmat suit but she cut her butt part out and she's like swinging on the pole, still trying to do tricks and stuff. So it's certainly not advisable, you know, for really protecting yourself

but it's kind of a funny, fun, porno, parody type thing to do. I think if this keeps up and it might well keep up. They might make real sex-friendly hazmat suits. I'm looking for that but not holding my breath, yuck yuck.

Yeah, because I don't know how soon they'll get to that. You got to take care of other things. But yeah, I mean, so hazmat suits for sex. I bought a plague doctor mask and I'm going to do a slutty plague doctor photo shoot.

It's going to be great. What kind of doctor? Play doctor. Okay, play doctor.

You hear that, Dr. Bonobo? There he is. Here's Dr. Bonobo. Now he is not a play doctor.

He actually took care of me. I just had sinus surgery. It's so weird. Right before the quarantine was declared.

By the way, a great nose doctor. A great nose doctor. I'm going to shout him out, Dr. Tong. And just wonderful.

And so, you know, my nose is still recovering. It's so strange because right before I got this surgery, I kind of had coronavirus-like symptoms, but I had it for two years and it was sinusitis.

And yeah, I had pneumonia a couple of times as those of you who know me know. And so, yeah, Dr. Tong was my main doctor, but Dr. Bonobo was also there and helped me and is still here, you know. Having a bedside chat, a little home visit.

So, yeah, how did I get off onto my surgery? I volunteered to be her victim patient for her to be a doctor. Oh, yeah, you're going to do a porno. Medical fetish.

I imagine medical fetish is going to be bigger than ever. It's already pretty big. Medical fetish. What do you see yourself doing in terms of the sex and the medical fetish pilot?

I don't know. I'm going to play around with it and like be really creative. I've been having a lot of time to think like by myself. So I've been thinking of like new ideas for like photo shoots and stuff

and just like things I'm going to do like once the quarantine's over. And I have a lot of good ideas. You have a lot of cosplay to shoot in when this is over. Yeah, and you could just dress up as a sexy nurse and just do it yourself.

You know, talk to the camera and say, I'm going to take your temperature rectally. Right. Yes. Spread those cheeks for the doctor or nurse as the case may be.

And then, you know, you could spread your own cheeks and say, maybe I'll take my temperature first just to make sure that thermometer is working. You know, and you could, yeah, you could do that. You could do it with somebody.

But you know, I would love to see you do more, you know, because you're just so dynamic and fun just by yourself. And so many of us have to be by ourselves, you know. Self, self everything.

Self isolation, selfies, right. So, okay. Well, we're going to let you go soon, but I was thinking maybe we would do a webcam like Bonoboville Communion, not really community,

but if we could just turn the Facebook camera away from everything. And for just a minute here, I don't know if your family is in another room or they're not in the same room, right. Can you just show your titties to us and we'll just, you know, kind of,

kind of, yeah, no Facebook. Who's got Facebook is going the other way. Okay. And here we go.

Bonoboville Communion. And oh, here comes sunshine for her Bonoboville Communion. And where, oh, you do. Oh, look at you.

Okay. Take one off. Yeah. There you go.

And free the nipple. You can't see this Facebook or YouTube, but you know, we have to get a little sexy. I can't hear you.

Uh-huh. This is what I was wearing the first time you came on the show with Robert Goldin. I remember this.

Oh, wow. Well, anyway, your titties look lovely, actually. And this feels like a little bit of communion. You know, if you can't be with the one you love,

love the one you're with, and if you can't touch, look, listen, and just feel, you know, sensory deprivation sometimes enhances your other senses. And this might enhance your sense of, you know,

looking and hearing. You know, we can't touch, but you're looking mighty fine, Miss Cox. Yeah.

Can you touch him for me? Can you touch him for me? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, baby. Nice. All right.

Well, that's a beautiful thing. We're going to sit back down. And Chi Chi's covered again. And now, what are we going to do?

Now we're going to, um, well, what is your parting words for your fans on the Dr. Susan Block Show, or listening and watching the Dr. Susan Block Show?

I hope that everyone's wanking them off as much as possible. You know, I think that's the best thing we could do to stay sane right now. That's my advice.

I totally and wholeheartedly agree. Make love to someone you love, even if that someone is you. And, uh, and yeah, um, hibernate, isolate, masturbate. It's the best thing to do.

You know, I mean, and, and it's fun. It, it, you know yourself better than anyone. And if you don't know what to masturbate to, uh, Violet Cox, I mean, her gas mask girl, uh, stuff is available online.

And she's also on the Dr. Susan Block Show. You can go to DrSusanBlock.tv and see her doing a lot, getting spanked, showing pretty much in different places, all her body parts.

Um, and Pussy asked if she's on labia day. And hot wax. And hot wax, getting the hot wax. You got the hot wax too.

Hot wax, Hanukkah. Oh yeah. And, uh, yeah. Shout out to, uh, Mistress Desaad.

Uh, Mina Desaad. You had the amazing wax. Yeah. And lots and lots of spanking.

Uh, Violet is the winner of the Susie Award for Most, or Best, Bonobo Way Book Spanking, as well as Best Submissive. Yep.

So, thank you, Violet. We'll hook up with you again. I mean, hopefully in person, but if not this way, you know, if the Coronapocalypse lasts as long as the scientists say

it's going to last, it's going to be a while. Right. Yeah. Trump wants to get us all back together at Easter

so we can all kill each other. Yeah. Yeah. He should do it on Good Friday.

Isn't that when Jesus was killed? Yeah. Anyway, I think he likes the concept of the resurrection, but, you know, it's more likely to be just a mask dying.

But anyway, we're so glad to see you looking healthy. Wear that mask. Uh, and tell Manny he should shelter in place somewhere. I mean, I don't know.

I guess it doesn't matter where at this point, except it should be somewhere, you know, going on planes is maybe the most dangerous thing, although I'm sure it's cheap.

Yeah. So, that's what everybody's saying. Like young people are like, oh man, I'm going to buy some cheap plane tickets

and go somewhere because this is my time. All right. Well, we're glad to see you being such a good citizen and a good pornographer.

Sophie is a sign of good citizenship, especially now when, you know, it aids you in isolation, hibernation, and masturbation.

Okay. Bye, Violet. Bye, Violet. Thank you so much, Violet.

Thank you. All right. And here we are in the Coron Apocalypse.

And, uh, I'm just going to give Trump an example. We have him choking

right now, choking, being gagged with a corona. That's right.

Yeah. It's a beer and it's not the beer's fault, but nevertheless, it's a little symbolic.

But it doesn't sound right to say my COVID-19, right? No, no, no. You have to, you know,

choose your names for the virus. Sometimes Trump virus is the thing to call it. Or Trump pandemic. It lends itself to all these names.

And God, just all the lion and crying. This governor wasn't nice to me. So I'm not going to give her any ventilators.

Now it's not her, you're not giving the ventilators to. It's the people of Michigan for goddess's sake,

the people you're killing. And you're trying to hold a grudge against this woman.

Very sexy, by the way, the governor of Michigan. I called her the woman, that woman.

I mean, if you can't remember her name, which I actually can at the moment, at least call her the governor of Michigan. Not that woman.

That man, that tomato head. That terrible tomato head. God. And for that, he holds it back.

Of course, I think you're right, Max. I think they have genocide in mind. All those people that said, don't compare Trump to Hitler.

I mean, come on. And I kind of was one of those people for a while. Listen, I'm offended

that there's a group of Republicans that want to kill me. Precisely. I'm useless.

Totally useless. And profit off of your debt also. And I cost money. I might cost money.

They're already profiting with that bill that they passed. You know, Bernie and Massey, this, I think he's a congressman,

Massey, got something for workers and regular people who might be out of work,

who mostly are at this point. But, you know, getting what? Just $1,200? And that's it?

And these airlines and cruise lines and, you know, casinos,

a lot of Trump businesses, hotels and places like that. They're getting a $2 trillion,

just bonus for having to go through this. Right. Well, anyway,

we are doing the best we can. And, you know, it's

always a challenge and the bonobos teach us how to take a challenge and swing through life

because they're swingers. They swing through the trees as well as with each other. And

the saddest thing is that bonobos can catch the coronavirus.

And I mean, they're deep in the jungle, the wild ones, and I guess the zoo ones are protected somehow.

But it's scary. Well, yeah, that's good. They're protecting them from us. But they have zookeepers

who go home and who knows. But here's the thing is if they get coronavirus, forget about it,

they can't keep six feet apart. Yeah, yeah. You know, they are all about hugging and touching, having sex,

but also grooming and they can't keep six feet apart. And it just goes to show

since we are so close to bonobos that it's very hard for us to keep apart,

to not touch. But we can do it, you know, we have willpower. And we understand

that we have to do it. It's our fault that we are in this position, kind of.

And so we have to do it. And it is a form of self-repression. And you know me, I'm the sex therapist

that tells you to touch as much as possible. And of course, consensual, only consensual touching.

But nevertheless, touch, touch, touch, but not now. I find myself doing a complete about face.

Wow. From everything I've always said about touching and how important it is.

It is important, but we can't do it now for the most part. You can touch

your significant other, you know, if you're sheltering in place and you trust them

and they're not cheating on you or they're, I mean, in this case, cheating is not just about

having sex. Cheating is about, you know, just shaking hands

or handling the same spat on fruit, you know. So, it's hard.

So it's better to just isolate, masturbate. Yeah.

And do we have our other guest ready? Shout out to Chef B. Live and Danielle Watts who were supposed to be

with us tonight. But they got busy, you know. Look at that. Hello.

Hi, loser. This is loser Tversky, winner of the Susie Award for Funniest Fundamentalist Refugee,

as well as other awards. I think a Best Actor Award is in there somewhere. And we're happy to see you, loser.

Oh, I'm happy to be here. Yeah. So how are you doing in the quarantine?

How are you doing live from the remote broadcasting center and,

you know, in the Bonobo Mobile on the Recreational Vehicle, Motorhome?

Right. You're in the Motorhome, which is... The media,

the media on the headquarters. The media, right. Correct. A very contained place.

The mobile unit. Yes. Our mobile unit. Which is not,

at the moment, mobile. It's just sitting there. Mobile. I can drive

and do an interview at the same time. Right, right. Well, that's good.

We're glad. We want you to be safe in all different ways. And so it's good

that you're, you know, just sitting there. And growing your beard in, I see.

Very good. A lot of people... There's a lot of talk among men about

hair growth these days. Yeah, yes. Either they're growing a beard because they're staying home

or they're shaving because when they wear the fitted masks, they work better

without hair. So... No, this beard is just, it's mostly a product

of laziness. Right. Right. So that is...

A product of like, yeah, I don't have anywhere to be. Nobody is going to see me.

Like, this is like, like, this doesn't bother me. It only, you know, kind of like changes

people's perception of me. And since right now, I don't need people to have any perception of me.

Or I'm not going to be in a position for people to be able to perceive me. There's absolutely no reason

for me to look anything remotely presentable. No webcam auditions for new films, nothing.

Well, if something happens, then, you know, of course, I will take some steps. Right.

But for mere interviews, forget about it. And how about like, like webcam dating

and sex and stuff? I mean, you're a single guy. You're going to like this. You're going to like this story.

So like, in the beginning of the lockdown, which was last week, I don't know,

like this week has been a really, really long year. So like, I don't really know

where we are anymore. Right, right, right. But at the beginning of the lockdown,

I matched with a girl on Bumble, right? Uh huh. We decided to go on a date,

but the bars are closed. Sure. We can't really get close to each other.

So, you know, how do we do a date? So, we agreed that we're going to go,

we're going to meet at the park. The park. In a park. And we're going to stay

three feet away from each other the whole time. Okay. Like three feet.

First date. And then if we feel like getting frisky, you know,

if there's like physical attraction, you know, we would just tell each other that we would like to touch.

Right. But then won't touch. We would just tell each other that we would like to touch.

Well, that's kind of sexy in a way. It could be. Yeah. That could be sexy.

I get it. And frustrating also. Yeah. This is sexy

for sexual frustration. I want to touch you. I want to touch you. Yeah.

But I can't. I'll just touch myself instead. But I want to touch you. No, but Dr. Susie,

the best part of the story is. Yeah. We went on a date, right? And at no point

did anyone say that they want to touch. Oh. Okay. Well, so much for romance.

Was she not attractive or you weren't into her? You didn't like talking to her? It just didn't happen.

Apparently it turns out that if you are in a position where you can't actually get close to another person

physically, it does affect, it does affect, it does affect the juices,

you know. It's awkward. It's definitely. It affects the chemistry.

I mean, I don't think. Strange. I don't think there are, I don't think

boners happen like that. I don't think that's how boners work. Well, they say across a crowded room, but there was no crowd.

Is that? Yeah. Crowd missing. Yeah, right, right.

It is awkward. It's, it's a kind of, yeah, puts you on the spot. So.

I love Max's new perch over there. Yeah. That's much better. I like that.

He's doing that. They're kind of keeping our, you know, six feet apart. Three feet is supposedly not enough,

but, but I understand, you know, I mean, that's better than, like,

flying around on planes like Manny's doing. So, it's okay.

So, what do you do now? I mean, you're, I believe a pretty sexually act,

I mean, you were sexually active. you have a normal sex drive. A player. So,

and I noticed you tweeted today, my line. Make love to someone you love, even if that's someone is you.

Yep. Yep. So, I guess that's your motto now.

Yeah. I tweeted that to my, you know, like me,

you're following on like, unlike you, Dr. Suzy. I did,

you know, I have a meager following and I, and I put it out, I put it out there in the universe.

You know, yeah, but that's what it is. You know, that's what you do.

Like if you're someone like me with a, with a, you know, and the pretty healthy sex drives.

I would say, you know, then, yeah,

you know, you got to, you got to take care of business yourself. You do.

Yeah. It's quicker. It's safer. I mean,

no one gets pregnant. No one gets an STD. No one's feelings get hurt. Yeah.

Yeah. You know what to do. Right. Right.

And how about an accompaniment though? I mean, for that intimacy element,

you know, that human element, how about like phone sex? That would be my preference.

Or sexting or webcam. I actually, I find,

I find phone sex. I'd be happy if he had any goes. Max wants to know, have you had any of those?

I liked sexting. Sexting. Oh, okay. Good.

Good. Then there's a paper trail. We can sext here at the Dr. Susan Block Institute. You can call a number.

You can. Yeah. Sexting. We'll text you.

Don't you worry about it. All right. Well, now see, I get a little,

I'm okay with it. I've done it. I do it, but it does leave,

you know, not a paper trail, but a digital trail. Okay.

But, you know, okay. So you're doing that.

That's, that helps. I'm not worried about, I'm not worried about like,

what? Like I don't, I'm not worried about someone leaking a text where I, that I said,

wait a minute, when you become famous and you know, millions of dollars,

saying I want to come on your, there's nothing wrong with sexting. It's like someone, it's like,

Oh, what if I get famous and someone says that they, that we had sex and like, okay, yeah,

we had sex. So what's the big deal? Well, it depends what you said.

I mean, these are anyway, the body parts. How about bringing it?

They're not supposed to that in real life. According to the New York public health department.

No, rimming, no, I don't know,

but I, I'm not embarrassed by it. Yeah,

Like if you're a certain age, if you're 30 or 40 or like even 20, like everybody assumes, okay, at some point you had sex, right? To act like, oh no, not me, don't see, I did it, you know, it's like. Hey, it made Paris Hilton's career to have a sex tape. Oh, I'm like, I would be embarrassed if like someone leaked the texts or anything that like, that compromises my integrity,

that made me seem like an indecent person or like an asshole. Oh, you text like that? Oh, okay. Those are mixed in, though, probably. She said those are mixed in, though, probably. I mean, at some point, maybe most guys do come across as an asshole.

And no rimming that asshole. Yeah, I sneak in and murder text between every day. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Great. Now you sound like Trump. So how are you doing, like emotionally?

Emotionally, I'm doing okay. I'm a. Because you're a pretty social guy. I mean, you know, I don't like to call this social distancing, exactly, because we're not. I mean, here we are socializing. So we can socialize. It's physical distancing. We have to, you know, the droplets that contain COVID-19

are in our saliva. It's lots of fun to swap saliva, I know, but don't do it right now. And yeah, so I mean, but you date, you go to meetings, you go to acting classes, you act in films and parties, and now you're not. Yeah, but I'm also like something that something that a lot of people don't know about me. And I think

that it's it's one of those like discoveries that people make once they get to know me. Like it's a big issue in, you know, to talk about sex again in my dating life, is that people meet me in social settings and they assume that I'm that I'm a social person. And then they get very surprised that I'm actually quite a, you know, what do you call it?

I like I like solitude a lot. All right. So since you're by yourself, you're working on like a personal projects by yourself, personal like goals and writing a script or something?

No, no, what's the word I was looking for? What's a solitude person? What do you call it? A hermit? No, a loner. An introvert side.

You know, we'll seem like such an extrovert, but you have your introspective side. So I'm introverted. So people are surprised to learn, you know, once they got to know me, to live with me and they're like, well, like, why don't you go out and do something? I thought you were such a social person like, well, you never lived with me.

I'm actually don't go out that much. But yeah, but you were asking, sorry, sunshine was asking me something about. Well, yeah, just like we're all isolated to ourself, you know, and so like, so have you been like any personal stuff you've been working on, like, I want to write a script or I want to

any personal no pressure. I don't know what you want to know. You know, most people know your secrets. Any personal things you worked on.

What most people call procrastinating, I call thinking. Okay, okay, okay. He's working on it. He's working on it.

Next interview we'll find out. So I had a bad break up a couple of months ago. It got me a little depressed, but I'll be all right. So are the other Hollywoodites really isolating?

I mean, we were just talking to someone in porn, Violet Cox that told us that someone else is on a plane running around. But what about other Hollywoodites, you know, are they running around? The people I know, my friends are isolating.

They're home. They're not leaving as far as I know. And they're masturbating, as far as you know, or you don't know. Well, some of them are masturbating with their wives or girlfriends.

Oh, okay. But what I know, they're following the rules. They get to follow them in the nicer place than me. Um, but, but, but still.

Give a nice interview, but it's not exactly like David Geffen's yacht. Yeah. You know what they say, money, money can buy you happiness, but it can buy you a really nice place to be saddened.

Yeah, I know. It buys you the things that make you happy, like healthiness and all that stuff. And good food to eat and all that stuff. But you have to wonder, you know, a lot of these guys have like 12 houses

and they can only stay in one. So yeah. And they can't leave it, you know, and now they're quarantined, the world, world quarantined.

Wow. But some of them are quarantined in different, different, different situations, you know, in different circumstances. So what about, you know, you, of course, are the winner of the Susie Award

for funniest fundamentalist refugee because you are a refugee from the Satmar Orthodox Jewish kind of community. And I used to be very involved with that community and you're still in touch with people.

Are they self-isolate? Well, they're always kind of isolating as a community, but how about the self-isolating? So there was a big, there was a big issue in the beginning of this

because of, because of, there's obviously a lack of information in that community. There's a disconnect technologically and, you know, as far as access to media and all that. So there was a big issue and they also have a profound distrust of science and authority and, you know, how certain Jews from a certain place in the world

feel about the government telling them whether they can leave the house or not. And that is true of all kinds of religious people. Yeah, but especially the Jews, you know, we just went through that not, not that long ago, 70 years ago.

I feel funny about the government telling me I can't leave the house, except I kind of agree with the reasoning. Right. And these are people who grew up in the shadow of the Holocaust. So this is a very difficult thing for them to accept.

So in the beginning, there was a lot of issues. The people were not socially distancing. They did that, they had big forum parties. They still go to the mikveh and all that.

And they were still going to mikveh. The synagogues were open. The schools were open. The stores were open because it's before Passover

and there's a lot of shopping happening for Passover. So there was a bit of a delay. And Passover is like a week or two, a couple of weeks. Yes. They were about a week behind.

And the Safmar Rebbe contracted coronavirus. What? Oh, I didn't know that. The Safmar Rebbe contracted coronavirus. Yes. And then there was like, there would be like five calls an hour,

all of a sudden coming into the local volunteer organization, the local ambulance. So there were just so many calls coming in and people started dropping.

And all of a sudden it hit them. They started accepting it and they shot all the, first time in history that as far as I know, where they shot, voluntarily shot all the synagogues,

all the schools, they're not praying in quorums anymore. It's like, it's never happened before in the history of Judaism, as far as I know, to have sanctioned social distancing, like a physical distancing like this.

So they were late and there have been many deaths over the last couple of days, over Shabbat, over the Sabbath. And there have been a couple of people who've died. I know what you know.

These 30s, 40s and 50s. People you know? People I know peripherally and one of my neighbors, my childhood neighbors, just died.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah, he was older, but yeah. Wow. It was very serious.

In that community, it's hitting very, very hard. In all of New York, but especially that community. All of New York, yeah. Yeah, they say New York's king here.

It's a hot spot. They were behind the rest of New York in terms of distancing. They were behind the rest of New York as well. Well, I'm glad they're on board.

I hope the Rebbe gets better. I guess he's still alive and fighting, or is he over it? No, he's alive. He's alive.

I think he's, I think he'll pull through. He'll be all right. I don't think he's hospitalized either. Okay.

Well, good. I mean, we all have to do this. And you have your differences with them. I certainly have my differences with all kinds of religious people.

Yeah, but nobody should die. Nobody should die over this, you know. But people are, and we should minimize that as much as we can. And we are all in this together.

And we all do interact. And one, you know, we're six degrees of separation. So, okay. Well, loser, good to talk with you.

Good to be on. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited that you're finally, you know, with the self-love program.

I mean, you know, everybody is sometimes, but now you're really doing the advanced study, you know. And it's so cool. And hats off, by the way, to my mentor,

the godmother of masturbation, Betty Dodson, Dr. Betty Dodson, who is getting quite a bit of recognition right now, including from authorities that in the previous years had, you know,

laughed at masturbation or said it was dirty or even wrong. And Bill Clinton fired Dr. Joyce Lynn Elders over it. But really now the authorities are realizing how wonderful

a pastime it is, how it's safe sex. Now that they need her, they recognize her. And wash your hands anyway, though, you know. By the way, semen and vaginal fluid has been shown

not to have the coronavirus, they think. But still wash, you should always wash your hands before you touch yourself. You know, your hands are dirty and it's clean down there.

That's what my mother always said. And she did. And my hands were probably dirty. She'd see me stick my hands in my panties

when I was a little kid and say, stop that, Susan. Wash your hands, go in your room. Anyway, yeah, it's a great thing to see

masturbation being accepted as an important integral part of human activity. Of course, bonobos love to masturbate. And that shows how natural it is.

A lot of animals, non-human animals, do. But still, still and all, even though there are some silver linings to this mess, it is a mess. It's horrifying.

We have to try to minimize it. And I hate the loss of freedom, really. And it's quite scary to think that it could continue beyond the pandemic.

But hopefully it won't. And hopefully there'll be enough of us, regular people. Hopefully they won't clear the world of regular people so billionaires can just, you know, run around.

And we'll be able to get our freedom back. But for now, stay the fuck at home. And thank you for encouraging everyone, Loser Tversky.

Orange, thank you. Personal projects. Love you, bye. I love you, thank you.

Okay, so, you know, it's funny that it's almost time to go, you know. And we hope we've at least kept you as entertained as we've felt during this hour and a half. I mean, I have felt very entertained by, you know,

just interacting with people in this way. And I usually love to touch my guests, you know, do Bonoboville Communion, play with them on the motor bunny. But, you know, you got to adapt.

Is it possible to do Bonoboville Communion all by yourself? I can try. Just look around to it, yeah. Where is the, do we have it over there?

Well, you can, but I think we're running out of time. We're out of time. We're almost out of time. We got to do that next time.

We're going to have you do, we'll do Bonoboville Communion by ourselves. Yeah, I can even lick my own titty, even though they're not as big as yours. Yeah, you can do that. You can try doing that.

We're going to do that next time. We're going to continue these bedside chats, because I think it's important that we help you to stay home and help ourselves to stay home by doing things we love.

And the show is something I love. And so this is our, you know, changed, adapted version of the show. The bedside chat with guests on webcam. And you guys calling and, well, tonight people did write on our Facebook live.

And that's fine. And, you know, some good stuff, you know, including from the first Sheena about the governor. The governor who needs a lot more, you know, of everything.

And, and of course the Trump virus would like us to die for the Dow. Right. Or kill grandma so that the stock markets can rise. You know, it's not about Jesus rising.

I wouldn't mind if it was grandma. They're trying to get rid of me. Right. Well, grandpa, right.

Feel the burn. I know he's not winning the nomination, but he understands what it's about. That this, the people of this country are important.

So, yeah, I still feel the burn. I do. I will vote for blue no matter who, just like as blue as my thing here, my mask.

But at the same time, I'm not going to mention anybody by name, but Bernie's got the right idea. So, yeah, we got to get rid of this guy though. I mean, I'd rather have a senile guy, really,

than this narcissistic nincompoop, you know. And, and yeah, he wants the stock markets to rise like Jesus, you know, on Easter. He doesn't care that we're going to stay in the ground,

you know, if they put us in the ground, probably cremating most of these bodies. Terrible way to go when you can't even touch your loved ones as you go.

Just very sad. I mean, touch is so important in sex and in death. And to have to die with no touch is really sad. But it's the way it is.

It's what we're going through right now, brothers and sisters. And what we hope to minimize. We can't stop it.

There's a lot of death before us. And it's Thanatos, the opposite of Eros. It's, it's sort of, yeah. But nevertheless, it can be minimized.

And we will minimize it. And meantime, read a good book. The Bonobo Way. The Bonobos masturbate, so they can teach you about that.

Don't just skip the part where I talk about how they touch all the time. But they do teach us about sharing. Sharing and caring.

And we need to share more, all you billionaires. And everybody else needs to keep at it on Twitter, on Facebook, on whatever you're on to encourage people to share,

encourage those rich people, let them know. They care about what you think they do. That's one thing they care about is what the people think.

I mean, they care more about their money. And so really, we have to just take it by taxing them. I'm not saying eat the rich, okay? Although they probably are pretty tasty.

But yeah, no ribbing though. But anyway, follow the Bonobo Way. Make like Bonobos, not baboons. Make love, not war.

Make love to someone you love. Even if that someone is you. Actually, especially if that someone is you right about now in the Corona apocalypse.

I love you. Yeah! You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves.

But my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy over the phone. Anytime you need to talk,

whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination, my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away.

Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you, role play for you, fantasize with you. No fantasy is too taboo.

And help you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. For more information, call us at 213-291-9497. That's 213-291-9497 anytime you need to talk.

You're listening to Radio Suzy 1 on the World Wide Web. Need to talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else? You can talk with us.

I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves, but my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences,

specializing in sex therapy over the phone. Anytime you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination,

my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you,

role-play for you, and fantasize with you. And no fantasy is too taboo. And we help you with anything, from impotence to exhibitionism, fears to desires,

fetishes to marriages. If you've never called before, don't be embarrassed. We all need help with sex at one time or another, even world leaders do.

Maybe especially world leaders do, but I'm not going to tell you which ones. So, when you need to ask a question or play out a fantasy or just talk with someone about something

you can't talk about with anyone else, call us at 213-291-9497 anytime you need to talk. Hi, I'm Dr. Susan Block, and I've just written a new book called

The Bonobo Way, inspired by my love for the make love, not war, great apes. You know, the ones who have a lot of sex in a bonobo sutra of positions,

including face to face. But it's not just how bonobos have sex. It's how they use sex to prevent murder and war, really. They're the only great apes

that have never been seen killing each other. They practice what I call peace through pleasure, with the females gently dominating the very happy, very sexually satisfied males.

Bonobos are special, partly because they just are, and partly because they're very, very close to us, almost 99% genetically similar to us. When it comes to being human, even being humane,

bonobos can teach us so much, which brings me to us, and more specifically to you. Is your inner bonobo longing to swing free? Would you like to tap into the hot,

natural sex energy within you? Bet you would. So you can better enjoy the pleasures in life, and cope with the pain.

You know, the pain. And have more orgasmic, organic, sustainable sex. Who doesn't want that? Greater lust, greater trust, and better anger management.

And who couldn't use a little bit of that these days? So get the book, Learn the Bonobo Way. You'll be glad you did. Then you'll want to join Bonoboville,

a new global village for bonobo lovers and friends. And one last thing. The real bonobos are highly endangered, so a portion of all book sales go to

bonobo conservation groups, working to save the wild bonobos from extinction. Read the bonobo way, and learn why this could be the most important

eco-sexual movement of our times. And improve your love life.