SEX POSITIONS 101

Full transcript of SEX POSITIONS 101 on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

Need to talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else? You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves, but my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy over the phone.

Anytime you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination, my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you, role-play for you, fantasize with you, no fantasy is too taboo, and help you with anything from impotence to

exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. For more information, call us at 213-291-9497. That's 213-291-9497 anytime you need to talk. You're listening to Radio Susie One on the World Wide Web. And now, here she is, Dr. Susan Block.

Brothers and sisters, lovers, masturbators, missionaries, doggy stylers, yogis, specialists,

hanging from the chandeliers, men and women and trans. All you children of sex, because we all are children of sex. We may or may not be children of God or the gods, or Jesus, or Allah. I don't know, I-

Rama, Rama, Dhamma, or the great Pastifarians. We are all children of sex with a capital X. Can I hear an amen? Amen. Amen. Hey, I want to welcome you to

Bonoboville. Dr. Susan Speaks Susie, in the womb room. This is the womb room.

It's spring when we have the Resurrection. Dr. Susie, are you on thecipian already? It's masturbation month also. I know it is. That's what it is.

And we've got a lot of things to do tonight. You know, we've got a lot of coverage. So I thought I'd start out celebrating the merry month of May.

Praise be to me. Praise be to me. Praise the Lord and the lady. And the maypole. Absolutely. The maypole. We love maypoles.

Whoops, our maypoles are clanking. This is my Buck Angel maypole. That looks scary. Well, you know. It is scary. Yeah. Whoops, just knocked my book down.

I got it. You are such a gentleman. Praise be to the book. The holy book. That's the holy book. I think I should get off mycipian for a minute.

I'm going to help be a proper guest. You know, I could do that. I mean, you could help me. This is Dayton Reigns, by the way, brothers and sisters. Bring the Reigns.

Bring the Reigns. How do I do you? Bring the Reigns. Bring the Reigns. It's good. Now, we're going to move it over to the side,

just in case I want to ride it again. Because it is comfortable. I just had it on a low rhythm. But it really did get me going in a good way.

I think I should do it every show. Well, there's also this tachi. I wouldn't want to ignore that. Yes, brothers and sisters. I am the irreverent Dr. Susan Block, your servant,

and your mistress of the airwaves. Now, we should push it over a little bit more, though. You see. Okay. Yeah. There. And Dayton Reigns is my lovely associate producer.

I love you the Reign. Bring forth the Reigns. We're going to have fun tonight. The first guest. I have several really exciting guests. I almost don't know what to do first.

But the one who has come many miles, and who I haven't seen in a long time, although I haven't seen another one in a long time. Okay. Ladies first, I'm going to have to say,

Mushumi Ghost. Come sit on the bed, girl. Hallelujah. She's so pretty.

You know, you kind of look like a darker-skinned Raylene. There you go. Don't you notice it? Look at her face. You've been categorized.

Yes, you do. The face, that's above the breast, right? And in fact, she should get a headset, because this is an author, and, you know, she wants to hear what's going on.

How long have you praised the headset? Oh, Unseen Abe. And here is Unseen Abe, who is being seen. Uh-oh.

There he is. And there, can you hear? Okay, so now you can hear that you can't be heard, so you need your microphone.

Hallelujah. Praise the microphone. The headset does not disqualify the microphone. All right. Hi.

Welcome back. Thanks for having me, Dr. Suzy. I'm so excited to be back. Now, I saw you win, like years ago.

I want to say 2010. Yeah, maybe so. Whoa. Yeah.

Whoa. Either that or 2011, when I started making the film. Time flies when you're having sex. You look like so much fun, though.

You seem like a real sexy, fun person. I can only imagine. We'll sing about that. Now, Shumi interviewed me, actually,

for a movie that you're still making. Yep. And it's called Temples. Mm.

Amen and Amen Women. And brothels. Oh, temples and brothels, right? Temples and brothels, yep.

So, what it's about? Well, we traveled to the state of Nevada, basically, and then we went to Utah. So, we...

They both, they exist side by side. So, one has a lot of brothels, and the other one has a lot of temples, but we focused on the polygamists,

which they're kind of disbanding now. So, the story keeps changing around that part. Well, they banned and disband. Like, polyamorous.

I love the polygamists, though. What do you love about them? I could be one. Only if we could all live in the same house.

You'd be a sister with... Oh, yeah! Of course. Right.

Yeah. As long as it was consenting adults, which is not always the case, is what we find.

I know. Only on those weird, whatever they do. Yeah, it gets weird. Raise the roofie.

Yeah. So, okay. So, now you're doing so many varied things. We could talk about any one of them.

I'll show. But, we're very excited. You are a sex therapist, and you just wrote a book.

I did. Called Classic Sex Positions. Re-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e. And this book is a great book.

It's got a lot of ideas. It's got a hundred sex positions. All different kinds. Ones you know and ones you don't know.

Praise be a hundred. I almost guarantee that. It'll give you ideas. And it'll also give you variations

on the ones that you know. And it's very clearly written. And it's got cute little illustrations and occasionally some real people.

With pictures by Holly Randall, who's also been against on this show. I love Holly Randall. I love her mother, actually.

There we go. Holly Randall. Holly Randall. Praise be to Susie.

Yeah, this is actually, what would this be? Reverse cowgirl. Looking very sexy.

Right? Lucky couple. Look at his face. I wish when I did porn

I could do reverse cowgirl like that, but it's never like that. It's never like this. Not in movies.

No, the faces are beautiful, but we never get that close contact. It's more uplifting. Praise be to the non-intimist.

Well, yeah, they look kind of intimate, but they also look very porny. I mean, they're pretty far away from each other. She is sitting on him.

Are they actually having sex? Do you know? No, they're not. They're not.

Makes sense. It is the proper way. Hail the proper way. That's the proper way to take photographs.

Hail proper way. Your eyes are closed. You don't actually have the sex. Just imagining something else.

If they were having sex, you would see his penis. I think I've been very improper many times. You can actually try that

and see if you actually see the penis. That's a good experiment. We can open it up. Open it up.

Yeah, you've got to open up for a camera. Sex joke. Can we do scratch and sniff? Oh, my God.

I like that. Oh, and another drum roll. A little belated. It's that new book smell.

Is it just the book? Smell no evil. Well, you know, I was kind of rubbing around with this book.

This is one of my favorites, of course, the easy chair. It's also kind of the lap dance. Rowe his boat.

Rowe his boat. Right? You've got some cute little names. This is part of the reinvention.

I've never heard Rowe his boat. So tell me how many of these did you try with your partner? All 110 of them.

Praise be 110. Praise be. Did you have any accidents? 110, 110, 110.

A few times, yep. Oh, yeah. I mean, sex is awkward. Let's be real.

I mean, sex is an always smooth entry. Sex-related entry. Praise be uncle Rick. Praise be uncle Rick.

I mean, it's a little awkward at times and that's part of the fun of it. That's how you discover some of the new positions, right? You do something accidentally and they're like,

oh wait, that's great. That's kind of cool. I know this is probably like the standard question, but do you have a favorite?

Oh, yeah, absolutely. What's yours? I think I like spoon and fork. Spoon and fork.

Can you find that please? I have no idea what the spoon is. I definitely know what the spoon is. Praise be the fork.

Praise be the fork. Okay. Oh, whoa. Yeah, that's fun.

This one is this. This is one you actually do for fun. I've never done that. I won't totally do it.

Yes, you have. I can't believe it. Not when it's over. Now that I've gotten the main guest introduced,

as well as her favorite position, which... I don't even think it's even possible. We should come back and try to do that position according to the book and see if it's even physically possible.

I think it is. Because somehow she has her leg up his ass. No, no, no. Her leg is...

It's invictures. It's a scissors, right? It's like holding his balls. It looks like it's the proper way to do a fork.

And now we know, praise be the fork, what the fork is. It depends on where his balls are. Okay. So the fork community is in the house.

Quiet class. I have to introduce some of the other speakers. Now, because we are hearing voices. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

My featured guest, who I know, is also a teacher. But let's quiet down. This is Mashubi Ghost. Perfect.

And this is Evan Stone. Woo! Cornography icon. Evan.

Look him up. Look him up. Okay. You already know him.

Of course you do. And you won't admit it. You're so fun. One day Ron Jeremy will be dead and I'll be the king.

Hey! Ron Jeremy is our mayor. Don't talk about it. Well, you know...

That is a true statement, though. No, it is true. I've been trying to kill him for years. Yeah.

Yeah. If I can guys... Do you do penis fencing? What's that?

Penis fencing. Penis fencing? Pinobos do that. Oh, god, no.

There's no way I'd beat him in a sword fight. Got experience. Got tenure. There's no way.

I know. I just try to poison him with bacon sandwiches and shit. Yeah. Yeah.

So Evan Stone is here. And I haven't seen you since... I was 12. Yeah.

In 2011. Right? Right. I said 12, but 2011 was close.

What do you think I said? When you were 12. Oh, no. That would be wrong.

Then you would be... Yeah, you wouldn't be able to be here. But... Here you are.

And it was when you were promoting your fabulous Charlie Sheen parody. Yes, I see it. And... I love you, Evan.

That was so much fun. It was. Oh, my goodness. It was.

Yeah, so much, so much drugs. Eric John was here. Eric John was here for our anniversary, our 24th wedding anniversary a few weeks ago.

And he was with a different lady then, Vicki Chase from the Chase Bank. Wow. People get around.

You came all over her shade. She was asking for it. Wear nice shades like those. Those are nice fucking shades.

You wear shades like that. You're looking for something to come on them. They look like a pineapple. Seriously.

They're polarized. I mean, come on. You want to fucking jack up on that polarized shit. Fucking shit's up.

Is that your favorite? The come actually looks good on a polarized lens. For video purposes. So, yeah, it does look good.

Polaroid with an E at the end. Not the real Polaroid. This is Polaroid A. The Polaroid lens.

Yeah, so if you're looking for copyright infringement, which we did not do. We did not do. Polaroid A.

So, you know, our subject tonight is positions. Yes. And you are CEO. Yes.

That's chief executive officer. You're the top position. And you should assume the position. All right.

I want to fork somebody. You want to do the fork? I was thinking you want to do the fork? I want to see if the, because like, I don't remember doing the fork.

You see how I do the fork? You show me video footage of the fork and I'll believe you. I think we've got a challenge here. I mean, I can do the...

You want to fork me? I'm going to fork you. Come on. You want to do the fork?

Well, you want a salad fork? I can do it. You want a fucking big fork? You want a big fork?

I think you guys can pick. Calm down. Oh, you calm down. You calm down.

I still have... I call ladies' choice. Ladies' choice. I still have someone to introduce.

Oh my goodness. My darling Missy Heaven. I have the fabulous little Lonnie Legend. Lonnie Legend.

Yeah! You! Lonnie's choice. Yeah.

That's one of my favorite porn stars. We love Lonnie Legend. And... That would help.

Yeah. She was here with Ron Jeremy the first time she was here. Yeah, you love Ron Jeremy so much. Why don't you marry him?

Too late. You're already married. She just happened to be here that night. Don't give a damn.

She's here for you, Evan. Just... Everybody just calm down. And calm.

Maybe you should get into the yogi position with someone. It's a guilty position. I can't stop giggling. I call it the yogi position.

All right, so I have pretty much introduced my main guests here. And we have some positions to get into, I think. Do we want to get into a position? Yeah?

I like to do the, you know, my favorite one. Okay. I like my own favorite one for me. Yes.

Which we discussed. The holding of the... That is called the... I believe it is.

Shoulder stand. No, in her book. Shoulder stand. Hold on.

Because you're on your shoulders. Kind of like the plow position. Oh, no. That's the plow position.

I mean, that's piledriver. But that's not... Piledriver. It's not called piledriver.

I'm piledriver. It's not... Yeah. It's the military position.

Piledriver. Piledriver. Don't drop your pants. Piledriver.

Okay, okay. We got to get these porn stars acting up positions. Us porn stars are so sweaty and sexy. We're ready to fuck.

And we can't stop it. We can't stop it. Jesus. You're an animal.

No, animal. Wait. Hold on. We want you to release your inner animal.

Okay. So what is the name of the position you like? I'm looking. I'm looking.

There's an index. Describe it. I'll tell you where it's at. It's the one where the guy holds you up because you're tiny and not...

Are you sitting? No, you're standing. No, you're standing. Yeah, the one...

Okay, so it's like the standing... I have it. I look at it. The sitting space.

Upright missionary, perhaps. Oh, okay. Upright missionary. That's my...

There's a standing missionary, too. Ted Cruz. Standing missionary. Ted Cruz position.

Starts with missionary. Ted Cruz. He's like... By the way, a lot of people disparage missionary.

Like, you know, it's for religious people. It's two vanilla or something like that. But bonobos do missionary. Missionary?

Oh, I know. We were at the zoo. Yeah, they were doing total missionary. Aw.

Even the girls together. And the boys and the girls. They like to look into each other's eyes when they fuck. Touch their face.

Right, right. And they're kissing each other. It's very intimate. It's a version of missionary.

It's definitely very intimate. Eye contact. Kissing. Yes.

Right, right. French tongue. In each other's faces. So...

I think it's right there. Is it... She thinks it's at the beginning. So maybe it's one in the beginning.

Oh. That's it. Well, this one is, you know, you're kind of lying down. No, not that.

That's not the one. You want to be sitting up? No, I want to be... The guy can hold me up with their hands under my ass cheeks.

So that's... And I wrap my legs around them and they penetrate me. Oh, look at this one. Wow.

You could do this one. I think it's standing missionary. It's standing missionary. You know where they hold you and you kind of right on their...

Bounce up and down on their cock. Is that the one? Well, that... This is now Reverse Cal Girl.

Look at all these positions. Okay, there's too many. There's too many. This is all Reverse Cal.

This is all Reverse. Oh. You like this one. I know you like this one.

We're getting... So this is close. We're getting really close. Well, that's just...

We're getting close. Okay. How about this one? Oh, well, nah.

But she wants to be held up facing. Hey, here's this one. Yeah, I like the whole... Ooh.

That's a scissor fork. And this is back to the scissor fork. Suspended scissor. There it is.

That's it. There it is. Carting. Carting.

Once we cart it around. Yeah, I want to be carting around. Although, it doesn't look very porno because you're very close. Unless you lean back.

If the camera's up your ass, it is. There you go. I think there's a model photo. The go anal pro.

You've got to get the underneath shot. Okay. Let's see. I think the models are doing the very same one, too.

Yeah, that one. Yeah. All right. That's sexy.

They're standing? Okay. Yeah. He's supposed to be holding her.

Okay. So this one is easier to kind of go by, though, right? I like that one. Here we go.

Would you like to assume the position? Well, what should I do? Take my clothes off? If you like.

I think you're supposed to stick your penis in me. Wait, I don't have a penis. I'm a sick. I'm a guy standing up.

Okay, I got it. There is no. I was awkward. Poor people.

There is no penis in this picture. So I don't know what your penis would be doing. Penis is optional. Penis is optional.

Oh, I just leave it here on the table then. Ladies' choice. Ladies' choice. Penis or no penis?

Penis. We can start without. If it turns to penis, we'll go with penis. The turns to penis?

That's true. You eat organic. But I was still in the womb. And then it turned into a penis.

Oh, no, you have one of those magical penises. Yeah, you might have a magical one. It looks like a vagina then turns into a penis. Yes, yes.

That's because the ball sack wraps around you. You can have a magic stick. I don't know. I'm just saying, like, let's just be organic about it.

Like, eco-sexuality. Just go with the flow. And love the earth. And maybe if it happens, it's great.

If not, hey. So that means your clothes will be off. You have ruby up here. Your clothes will be off.

Mine will definitely be off. Then we have some stripper music, please. Grab the stripper music. That's porn music.

That's that's porn music. That's good. That's the Sexy Face- took a bell. Yeah?

Strip of music. Strip of music? Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

And look at that body. Wow, I am always just so impressed. I never cease to get amazed by Dayton Reigns, brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners.

Please put your hands together. Give her a hand, it's masturbation mode, so. Give her a hand. Give her a hand.

Jumping jack. Give her a hand. Oh my God, I love you. She's amazing.

Wow, look at that, but yo, gorgeous, all right. You can just get into a position yourself. All right, oh. Oh, hold on.

Oh, stop dancing. Okay, so he has nothing but his dick now. Oh my God. Let's just take your other clothes off first.

Oh my God, I got so scared. All right, well, he is masturbating. It is masturbation mode. It's masturbation mode.

Yeah, okay, so they're kind of getting into some sort of position. It's mutual masturbation. It is mutual masturbation.

Let's talk about that. Let's talk about that. Let's talk about this. Mutual masturbation is a form of masturbation

that involves another person. Not titty fucking, just mutual masturbation. Mutual masturbation is more about hand. I think there's a hand involved.

It's safe sex too. Well, of course. Because there's no exchange of fluid necessarily. No, not necessarily.

Not unless you can't resist. That's the tough part, but really, it is not about a fluid exchange. It is about mutual masturbation.

Well, we're already going into other things, but it's okay. Go ahead. No, no.

Be yourself. It's a masturbation mode. Be yourself. Do what you like.

You said organic, so you're doing the right thing. Yes, organic. But I had to point out to the folks at home that this is actually not masturbation.

It's okay that it's not. Masturbation ends where you begin. Because some don't even know where the body parts are and this is okay.

A body part. Carding, they're about to do the carding. They're gonna do the carding. They're gonna do the carding.

And down go his, whoa. That's bi-act. Maybe. Whoa, this is exciting.

Well, I appreciate that. Okay, we'll keep that safe. Work it, work it. Okay, work it, yeah.

Oh. Oh yeah, that's the carding. Oh, the carding. Is that carding?

Right. Oh. Card it, card it around. Oh, yeah.

And this is outer-course, brothers and sisters. Because it's mutual masturbation mode. I don't know. I can't tell.

Is it outer-course? There's definitely a big dick flying around and a hot pussy. But somehow, I think it's all on the outer edges of those luscious baby-

Can you, Evan, can you hold her under her ass? Wait, let me get a microphone. There you go. Oh, yeah.

Masturbate this job. Yeah, what? Say that again. Masturbate this, masturbate this job.

It is masturbation mode. You guys open. Keep moving. Keep moving.

Yeah. You can involve masturbation in any aspect of sex, really. In fact, most guys do. Whoa.

Women should, too. And you know, in a way, when you pull your labia apart, even if it is just for show, you're masturbating. Say that again.

I am masturbating. Of course you are. I am masturbating. Aren't you excited to see Evan stone?

Aren't you excited? Yes, testify, sister date. Testify, brother. Brother Evan.

Masturbate. Say, I masturbate and I am not ashamed. I am not ashamed. Masturbation.

I am not ashamed, I am not ashamed. I am not ashamed. I thought you were going to have your pussy talk for a second. I am not ashamed.

I am not ashamed. I am not going to masturbate with you. We did it last week. Yes, we did.

Whoa, all right. So I don't want you to get a backache. How about that for a book for you? Can we have some applause for our couple of tonight

here? Couple number one. And this is Evan stone and Dayton Reigns. Wow.

That's that's beautiful. Bow was very coordinated, very balletic, I thought. Yeah, pull up a microphone. Do not try this at home is the trade professionals.

And these are authors and artists who have supervised this whole thing. If you try this at home, you will die. Or orgasm.

You might orgasm. Die of the best orgasm of your life. I mean, come on. Celebrity more.

Do many Christmas. The little death, as they say in French. Best orgasm ever. Yeah.

Well, so that was a good position. That was good. That was ladies choice. Maybe we should do that.

That was carding. Was that carding? Well, it was OK. How'd we do?

OK. I should make a note of that. You did great. I really wanted to see Evan kind of like hold her up by her ass.

Oh, we can do that. You want to hold me up by my ass? But let's do it with maybe another position. Yeah, I mean, yeah.

Why don't you take some more of your clothes off? Or extremely overdressed. Do it with my clothes. Your clothes.

All right. Your thighs are as big as my waist. So now he's in bondage to his pants. Oh, isn't there a position where the girl puts her hands

on the ground, Mushami? And her ass is kind of on his cock? A handstand position. Yeah, there are a few of those.

Would you? Yeah, that's fine. Direct. Why don't you direct me on what to do?

And I'll do it. You pick yours. Where is that director's thing? Do you have it over there?

The director's. It's called the standing wheelbarrow. Can I have that, Max, please? You can come forward with that.

Oh, yes. OK. I can bring it to you. Scene two.

OK. So you sit. I guess I'm going to straddle you. And can I have the director's?

We're now doing a scene. This is a parody of a scene. OK. It's coming in by one of those things that fly.

And you can wrap your legs around his waist. Oh, there's coal. Oh, yeah, it's coming in by coal. Oh, there we go.

Standing. Standing. Standing. But of course.

Of course. All right. Why are you sitting there? Do you see?

All right, this is a handstand position. Look how similar it looks. OK. And it's called the standing wheelbarrow.

Dayton Reigns is standing on her hands. And this takes some effort in the thighs, I think. And some effort in the arms. Whoa.

Oh, yeah. That's a good yoga pose right there. Whoa. Yeah.

That's pretty good. Wait. Whoa. Oh, wow.

Now, do not try this. Wait, wait, wait. This is actually in the book, too. It's called Flying Circus.

Flying Circus. This is in the book, too. It's Flying Circus. OK.

Careful now. Whoa. I'm looking for it. And this could be a threesome now.

Yeah, this could be a threesome. OK. All right. Getting creative with the Flying Circus.

Definitely. The Flying Circus is what we like here in Bonoboville. This is a favorite position here. Oh, yeah, the second vagina right here.

Very good. OK. That's a workout. Yeah, let's hear it for our Flying Circus,

brothers and sisters. Whoa. Oh, you're beautifully flushed. Turn around and bounce.

Yeah, in the bow. I'm still looking for it. Yeah, that was good. Wow, no, actually, that was a good one.

Flying Circus, you know? You're embarrassed? You did a beautiful job. I'm going to enter you in the Olympics.

Take your microphone. Assume the position. Don't talk into your dick. You must talk into your actual.

I hope someone else has to use this microphone after me. I've got to remember, which this is why we have to color coordinate them. We'll put tape on it.

It'll be my microphone. That's right. Oh, man. Whoops, oops, oops, oops.

Where is your microphone? Not only did she do the Flying Circus, but she ate vagina pussy while she was doing the Flying Circus.

I was like, what? At least nudged it with her nose. She sniffed it, right? Yeah, it was good.

Everybody sniffed good. It was a good scratch, and we had a good time. Yeah, you've got to do a part two where you involve threesomes and foursomes and morsomes.

30 foursomes. Multiple positions. 30 foursomes. 30 foursomes.

Exactly. That's very bonobo-esque. Hello, Captain Max. Good evening.

Did you like that Flying Circus? We're going to try that tonight. It was a highly educational, highly educational great theater. You know, this is one of the reasons

we're not on television. Well, yeah. Not that we want to be anymore. No, no, we can't.

We really have to do Flying Circuses. Equiver Books will go, oh, that's very nice review. Very interesting. Well, yeah, we're acting out their positions.

They'll be very happy. It's fun. Trust me, they're actually very excited. It's educational and fun.

I just had a great time. Well, good. For me. Oh, and we have Cherie.

Oh, are we going to pop her chair? I've been requested to do an outfit change. You're going to do an outfit change. Well, let me see that dress first, to stand up and see

that dress. Can you do it in front of us? Are you going to do it here? Oh, I know where it is.

I'll get it. Yeah, actually. I got it. Hold her microphone or something, or I'll hold her.

Your ass is so good. Yeah, I'll hold it. So precious. OK, so now you're going to change.

This is Lonnie Legend here. OK, here she is. And she's wearing an adorable dress. I love the dress.

Just so sexy. Not everyone can wear this dress. No, and not everybody can pull it off with the sexy boobs. I know a secret about that dress.

And a sexy butt like that. This is a quite sexy dress. It's beautiful. I want a sexy, sexy girl that gets sexier every time I see her.

You do. She is just. Yeah, you try. Well, a lot of people try.

Makes butt sweat. You succeed. All right, you are a legend already. And what are you?

You're not even 21 or? About two more months. Two more months and she's 21. She's not allowed to do bonobo go communion with alcohol.

Right. She is allowed to have sex, though. But now she has on a cherry top. And she have orange juice for communion?

She can. That's kind of sticky. She could have. Here, you can sit on my face.

I mean, laugh. There you go. All right. And so is this a ritual costume?

What is? I just got this today, actually. Oh, it's a new outfit. Everything, actually, I'm wearing today is new.

We love new outfits. Do you want me to tie the back? I thought you had something to do with it. And this actually goes upside down.

Cherry, cherry, cherry. It's always great when they put the top on wrong. Yeah. How come I didn't get this strip of music?

Because it took them a half hour to find it. I guess. We love you guys. Let's hear it for the Bonoboville crew.

And let me just say, we are short staffed tonight. We are short staffed. We're not going to tell you who the shorties are on the staff. I tied the top for you.

But those of us who can hang are here. You know what I mean? Here. You want me to help you stand up?

We're here. Yeah. Praise be to here. Praise be to here.

As opposed to there. It is masturbation month. It's the month of that. All month?

I can masturbate? All month. All month. You know, you can masturbate at any time.

But during masturbation month, you honor it. You celebrate it. She is tight. Get dressed harder.

Harder. Harder, harder. Harder, hit harder. Fuck yeah.

Faster, stronger. So we got masturbation going on right now. We also have a gargoyle behind you, masturbating. I'll fucking shit out of that, too.

Yeah. Yep. Cement. Cement.

Whatever. He could fuck cement. That's something we could say about Evan Stone. All right.

And now we have. That's why his last name's Stone. Have you ever fucked a rock? Really?

A rock, a rand, fucked every place. Cute. Well, here's Lonnie Legend in her little. Look at Lonnie.

Woo! I'll lose a legend. Jesus Christ. All right.

Well, you know, in an outfit like that, you should assume a position of some sort. Yeah. Which one?

Ladies' choice. What was the first one we talked about? That spoon and fork. Spoon and fork.

Spoon and fork. Evan's eyes are lighting up. Am I? Is he the lucky man, or is he excited?

Dr. Susan, her ass is amazing. I mean, look at this ass. He's not even 21. I mean, come on.

His ass. Oh, it is so nice. It's just nice, right? Like solid.

Yeah. You can't even shake. It's so tight it can't even shake. Well, it does shake.

It does. Twerk it, girl. Minimal. You can't twerk it.

She has too much. She's too tight. All right. Untwerkable.

So tight. Who doesn't like tight pussy and ass? I do. Oh, that's twerking.

That's definitely twerking. Yeah. Oh, our photographer, Ono's giving her instructions. Ono is instructing on twerking.

Oh, look at that. Did a class in the workshop the other day. Is that it? Yeah.

Yeah. She's doing it. She's doing it. Okay.

Yeah. Ono, can you give some instruction for the folks back up? That's totally it. That's totally it.

Yeah. But Nobo's do this. They do crotch to crotch. And then push yourself a little and then feel good in it though.

Yeah. Feel good in it. You want to feel that ass like moving around and that feels good, right? Yeah.

Like you just sort of go into it. It's a little bit of an exercise. Nobody is going to know when you're exercising though. Okay.

So just like sort of like, you know. Yeah. They'll make it sexy and hot. Do the dance.

Do the dance. No one knows this is an exercise and it's actually good for you. Yeah. They're doing it.

Was it? Sex is good for you, but don't tell anyone. Yeah, one, two. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Let's hear it for Lonnie. Woo. Oh, my God. And Ono for her instructions.

Yeah. Good job. Good job. Go up there, Ono and give her a hug.

Yeah. Hug. Yeah. You guys should make out.

I know she's a walking felony, right? She has to do a job. She's busy. Oh, she could take the under picture.

She could take the under pic. The under carriage or the under picture. So we are. So spoon and fork.

Do you need some help finding it? Yeah, she needs to find it. She has to find it somewhere. What page is this?

This is the next lesson. You're so cute. This is a long imagine. Oh, no, you were so cute.

Like, what is it? No, I thought it was a standing up one. This is it. Okay.

So it is. It is. No, no, no, no, no. What was the standing up one?

The standing up one. The one where your hand is on the ground. The one you like. The one where your hand is on the ground.

Oh, I know. Yeah, yeah. So I know one arm is going to be on the ground. One leg is going to go like this.

The toe pointed. And it's going to go in between and cup as balls, I think. It's a scissors. It's a scissors.

I mean, I. Yeah, I think so. Just saying from one professional to another. Maybe I'll know when they want that position.

Open up. Open up. Open up. I think it's at the beginning.

It's at the beginning. We're all confused. It's not at the beginning. You're going to just have to.

Where's the scissors? Just how about you tell us where you pick one. We're going to find it. We're going to find it.

But meanwhile, we have to establish our players. There's another. Do you want to be lubed up? Lube it up.

Meanwhile, lube it up. Lube it up with Astro Guy. Should I take something off? Well, you should take as much off as possible.

Okay. So I'm going to hold this. The bikini was. Oh, here.

Can I help take it off? Yeah. And here she is. We still have the stripper music going.

Holy smokes. There she goes. Lord. The beautiful Lonnie legend.

Is this a position or something? Having a small pussy is not a bad thing. Oh, no, I meant my bush. Mine's kind of small too, but it's there.

It's present. Yeah. There we go. And yes, bonobos do eat each other out just like humans.

And they do crotch to crotch twerking duets that are called Gigi rubbing, genitogenital rubbing, or hoka, hoka. That's what you're going. All hail basketball.

All hail. All hail. All right. And now look how pretty your pussy is though.

And look how pretty her boobies are. Rest therapy brothers and sisters. And let's have a hand for the beautiful naked Lonnie legend. All right.

And I've got the bazooka right here. Okay. We have the position right here. It's called suspended scissors.

Oh, that's the one. Suspended scissors. We could use some. This is the one, right?

I think I might have to take my heels off. I knew it was a scissors. Okay, so. Take them off slowly.

Yeah, you can slowly. Here, I can unzip them for you. No, take them off. Be comfortable.

I'll help you. You don't even have to. Take my slow. That's it.

We won her. Make it awkward. I like that. You know, and sometimes it's fun to have sex and heels.

And sometimes bare feet, bare foot. And then if she needs lube. We have lube. As a matter of fact, what kind of lube do we have?

What kind of lube is it? Astroglyde. Astroglyde. Astroglyde.

Astroglyde. Astroglyde. That's the best. How do you put that on your penis?

Did you just show me? Sure. Sure. Please show me.

How does it apply? Well, you put a dab smaller than a dime. Well, put a dime in your palm. It is masturbation month.

You could just put it on his penis if he likes it. I mean, with your hand. Is it all natural? I'm going to.

It's actually coconut oil and something else. We also have glide. Coconut oil? Vegan condoms.

Glide vegan condoms in extra large maxi size. Just in case. Wow. That is an amazing lube.

This could be called a form of mutual masturbation. Because, holy cow, I could masturbate all month with this. You've never tried astroglyde? It's called astroglyde.

Astroglyde. You heard about it first on the Dr. Susan Block show. This is amazing. It should be called super astroglyde.

Well, it's new and improved astroglyde. Like, it's classic astroglyde. Re-invented. Re-invented.

When they grab my penis. If Ron Jeremy guys haven't, you do deserve to get some. Here we go. Classic astroglyde.

Re-invented. So. Called diamond silicone gel. You can lie on your side.

I don't want to touch your hand. I don't blame you. In fact, you should use something. Thank you.

I'll kiss you. You know what? I eat my cock straw. Lie on your side.

Cock straw. And scoot yourself off the bed. And then keep scooting back until your hand reaches the floor. Hey, hey, hey.

Are we having penetration? No, no. I'm putting it under her. Oh, okay, okay, okay.

Because that would be weird. Okay. All right. So now.

I don't mean to be a school teacher about the whole thing. But okay. So now. Okay.

We have to sort of move over a little bit so there can be some visual. Oh, there we go. But that cock has certainly like sprouted. Like, like Jack in the Beanstalk or something.

Whoa. You love cherries. Okay. Wait, I'm going to get right behind you, darling.

Don't be intimidated by that. But here we go. Okay. The penis goes under.

Penis goes under. She supports herself with one arm and he holds her up from the waist. He steps behind her and holding one of her legs up enters her. Yes, this will happen while she's supporting herself.

It does take a little extra strength. Yow. From both partners. I think I got to get out of the line of fire here.

Okay. Whoa. Wait, you got to put your hand up. There you go.

There you go. Look at that. That's a total porno position. If ever I've seen one.

Yeah, let's show the position right here. And they are getting it totally. They got the position. Brothers and sisters, we have to have applause while they're doing it.

Hallelujah. They have assumed an amazing position. You should try this at home. That is amazing.

This is one of the hardest positions in the book. You said it's your favorite. This is so hard. I did?

No, I said they should try this one. I said they should try this one. Then I'm back in. They keep going.

Wow, they're enjoying it. Are you okay, Lonnie? Your arm. My arm is okay.

It's okay. She could switch arms too. Maybe she could switch arms. Do you want to switch arms?

Yeah. And then that way they can see the other side. Okay. And then we can see this side, which is quite a nice view.

I must say. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Whoa. Oh, this is a variation. I'm not sure we're in the same position. And what is this one called?

What is this? This is a variation of the suspendance. All right. I think we're going to just have to applaud.

The lady is falling. The lady is falling. That was lovely. Wow.

That was amazing. Okay. There's the mic. That's a workout for sure.

That is, you know, very gymnastic. Wow. Oh, hello. Oh, your microphone or maybe your dick reaches far enough.

You know, so, yeah. No, it's right under there. Yeah, there it is. The one that smells like your dick.

Oh, there it is. Right. Oh. It's that fresh dick smell.

You know. Oh. Right. So we didn't actually get to do a position you like.

You've been servicing the women. The women. Well, that would be masturbation over two girls in a hot 69 right here on the floor. That's what I'd like to see.

Girls making out, looking at each other. You sound like one of my clients. Jacking off on a. So even though you are so good at all these positions, you would rather just watch and

masturbate. Seriously? Yeah. Way fucked up.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well,

masturbation. When they're done fucking and I'm done masturbating, then I'm going to fuck them. Oh, right. But for them, it's all the ritual.

The ritual. Then ceremony. First ritual, then ceremony. Well, are any of these positions really good for girls together?

Yes. Actually, all of them. I think all of them. But shall we pick one for them?

Well. Evan, would you like to pick one for them? I will refer to the author of the book on this. Since I have not had the time to go through your book.

Oh, right. To find out all 110 perfect positions. I'm definitely getting a copy. You know, while you're doing that, I have something sad to say.

Speaking of, if you'd like to buy copies. Oh, no. There's somebody selling them. Well, you should give your little.

I'll sign them too if you want. Yeah. Give you a little advertisement. Okay.

So, yeah. Everybody should get. We are probably tweeting it a lot. Classic sex positions reinvented by Quiver Press.

Quiver Books. And it is authored by Mishima Ghosts. Yeah. And speaking of ghosts, I have to say goodbye to my snake Evie.

Evie. Because she's no longer with us. And she was here on the show last week. And she's been on the show every Saturday night.

And you remember Evie. I love Evie. And I just saw this, you know, stuffed snake. No.

Some people have told me I should have stuffed Evie, which I wouldn't do. I'm not into taxi turns. But anyway, just say goodbye.

I don't want people to get upset. Goodbye, Evie. Thank you. Goodbye.

She's in a better place. She lived 16 years. Good long life, right, Captain Max? And 14 years of, seven years of shows.

Yeah. Yeah. She was beautiful. But she's gone.

14 years of shows. And while we're talking about the ghosts of our love life, I want to say goodbye to Holly, who was in Holly, Holly, the clown. Oh, God.

Holly Hollywood. Holly Wood. Holly. Ginger.

Holly, Holly, Holly. Holly Wood. Holly Smith. Holly Stevens.

Holly Stevens. Because she was in that Charlie Sheen movie with you. Yes, she was. She was.

And so we had to say, you know, goodbye to her. She left us a while ago. Anyway, okay, you know, death is part of life just like sex. And a lot of our loved ones go.

And so, you know, this is our show. So we say goodbye, you know, and we keep them alive a little bit in our hearts when we talk about them. So also, yeah, Charles Gatewood got to say goodbye to him.

Charles Gatewood. Charles Gatewood. I published his first forgotten photographs. Yeah.

Published the first edition. And you know Annie Sprinkle. And it had a, nobody would touch it in New York. No publisher, no one.

Not all, not even the erotic publishers. Because it had a tattooed fetus. Ooh. It was one of the pictures in there.

Wow. And Charles wouldn't take it out. So we took it to the porno. To the porno printers.

Well, somebody. And I got it printed. Somebody tattooed a fetus. Like an abortion, I guess.

They tattooed it and they put it in a jar and they made it in an art piece. It was a fetus. I don't know. I don't know too much about it.

You're looking at me. Oh yeah. You know about it? Yes, it was tattooed by, they got the fetus.

I don't know where. And it was tattooed by a very famous, actually the tattooist that made tattoos in our spider web. So I believe the spider web did the tattoos on the fetus.

Yeah. And it was called Forbidden Photographs. And we published 1,000 copies. Yeah.

And we sold them in about 60 days. Yeah. And they were like $50 each. And it was great.

That's a beautiful thing. That's a beautiful thing. It's a beautiful book. Yeah.

And we're sorry to see him go, but everybody's going. And prints, of course. And you know, I think we should queue up Darling Nikki. Right?

Because what is Darling Nikki about? What is Darling Nikki about? Who knows, class? What is Darling?

Masterbation. Very good. Very good. Did you just guess that?

No. Okay, you know. I took my second. I was like, she's talking about the Prince song.

I knew a girl named Nikki. I can't remember the line. Anyway, yeah. Masterbating with a magazine.

Okay. Maybe we don't need to watch the video. So, yeah. So we're segueing from death to sex.

And I'm very impressed that Evan has been masturbating through that whole discussion about death. And I don't think he's a particular necrophilia. I will come while you are still alive and seeing this. I will come to your funeral and masturbate in your funeral.

You know, it's like life. It's life, you know. Spread the seed on the grave. And thus, they both have four letters.

But they're entirely different. That was an interesting one. That was God. That was my Van Goghville crew.

Darling, if it's okay to masturbate in funeral. Yeah, it's fine. Oh, I think this is Prince. Darling, Nikki.

Nice. Nice. Whoa. He practically masturbated on stage.

This song is so good. And had sex. I think he did have sex a few times on stage. And of course, he was very, very transparent.

We just saw transparent. Oh my God. Cool stuff. Well, we can see him again.

Let's look at Prince again. Yeah, there he is. Yes. Yeah, he kicked Kim Kardashian off the stage.

So we kind of have to love him for that. All right. And we have to cut ourselves. We're going to be taking a break.

And we're going to be coming back with more masturbation month. And more sex positions. Oh. We've got the shummy ghost.

I have the lesbian position already. Oh, we've got the lesbian. But we're not going to tell you what it is yet. You've got to just hang out.

And speaking of hanging out, we have Evan Stone here. And we have quite a hang there. And we have Lonnie Legend. And somewhere in the vicinity is Dayton Reigns.

And maybe some other people. So don't come yet. And don't go away. We'll be right back.

Yeah. See the clap sign. Hi, I'm Dr. Susan Block. And I've just written a new book called The Bonobo Way.

Inspired by my love for the make love, not war, great apes. You know, the ones who have a lot of sex and a bonobo sutra of positions, including face to face. But it's not just how bonobos have sex.

It's how they use sex to prevent murder and war. Really. They're the only great apes that have never been seen killing each other. They practice what I call peace through pleasure.

With the females gently dominating the very happy, very sexually satisfied males. Bonobos are special, partly because they just are. And partly because they're very, very close to us. Almost 99% genetically similar to us.

When it comes to being human, even being humane. Bonobos can teach us so much. Which brings me to us and more specifically to you. Is your inner bonobo longing to swing free?

Would you like to tap into the hot natural sex energy within you? Bet you would. So you can better enjoy the pleasures in life and cope with the pain.

You know, the pain. And have more orgasmic, organic, sustainable sex. Who doesn't want that? Greater lust, greater trust, and better anger management.

And who couldn't use a little bit of that these days? So get the book, learn the bonobo way. You'll be glad you did. Then you'll want to join Bonoboville,

a new global village for bonobo lovers and friends. And one last thing. The real bonobos are highly endangered. So a portion of all book sales go to bonobo conservation groups

working to save the wild bonobos from extinction. Read the bonobo way and learn why this could be the most important eco-sexual movement of our times. And improve your love life.

Sisters, we are going to have a Sybian ride for Masturbation Month. So you've never been on a Sybian before? No, I've never been on one before.

Okay. Now you are ready to ascend the throne. Mr. Tracy, you are going to ride God's machine. Put one leg right here, put the other right here,

and just position yourself comfortably. Put your clip right here. Okay, so here she goes. Uh-oh.

She's mounting the Sybian. Have you ever ridden a Sybian, by the way? Oh, I have, many a times. It's my favorite horse to ride.

Have Sybian yoga and experience it to the fullest. Go for the G-spot, go for the clip. Go for whatever works. Someone can come from their nipples.

We've got for Jim Rado, riding a Sybian. Whoa, holy shit. That does the job. Yeah, it's doing it.

Sybian strikes again. Yes, I do say that when it feels good. Live on DrSuzi.tv from the womb room in Bonoboville. Right on, cowboy.

Take a deep breath, deep breath. We never get tired of watching a pretty girl on the Sybian celebrate and masturbation month. Yes.

Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Yes, yes. Oh, yes, yes.

Yes, yes. A sister that comforts. That is a beautiful thing. Thank you, Dr. Susan Block, your wonderful human being.

Wonderful human being. Dr. Susan Block. Thank you, thank you. I think we have orgasm.

Houston, Atlanta. We have lift off. We have lift off. Dang it.

Go. Oh, my God. Eva, eject your leg. We, we, we, we.

OK. We're going to go. Testify, Sister Penny. Testify.

That you masturbate. And you are not ashamed. I'm not ashamed. How was it? What's your report?

My vagina's so tingly right now. It feels like pop rock. I'm just going to take this home. I'm going to take it.

I think it's bigger than your little body. That is the best product endorsement I've ever seen. Can I leave now? Like, I'm ready. I'm, I'm going.

I still think I could at least leave the husband. We're the husband family. We got the simian. You don't need the husband. Oh, my God.

Whoa, whoa. Don't let her fall over. Whoa. Whoa.

Hey, darling girl. I love you. I love you. That's my girl. We're listening to Radio Suzy One on the World Wide Web.

And we are back in front. Oh! And cowgirl and singers and everything. We are doing all the positions,

brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners. And we have a, a, a devotee who wants her book signed by our guest,

which provides my introduction back from the Evan Stone. Dayton Reigns.

Okay, we're signing all the people here. But this is Mashumi Ghost. And yes, that is Evan Stone. And yes, that is Dayton Reigns.

And that is Lonnie Legend. Rich. Rich. Rich. I love the how you shout that. Rich. Rich. Can we have some?

I mean, of your riches? You guys. Wow. My boobs are cold. Everybody, you should buy a book from my merch girl.

She's topless. Buy a book from the merch girl. And by the way, I am also a merch girl for myself.

Bonobos. Go bonobos. Bonobos masturbate. Go bonobos. They do. They masturbate in the wild with twigs and in captivity

with rubber balls. Twigs. I wasn't talking about you, Evan. Evan is totally an 8. Oh, look at this. Come on.

Merch girl is merch girl. Merch girl. Sassy. Don't hide.

Merch girl should do Bonoboville Communion. Let's do Bonoboville Communion before we do another position. I'm ready to do more positions.

What do you think? Let's see how this merch girl is. All right. Merch girl, get up here.

Come on. Merch girl. Merch girl. Merch girl.

Look at her nipples. Beautiful. Is your real name Merch girl? Yeah, really.

Mama girl gave you the name Merch. Good. Great. I'm glad you're feeling free. You guys are so much fun.

Absolutely. I just want to fuck you. Do you assume any of these positions? Do you have a favorite position?

Couple of merch girls. Would you like to get into a position with anyone? I'll get into a position with you. Let's get in a position.

All right. What is this? Miss Rains. Tell me what you like.

I have a position for you guys. This is fun. I chose one earlier. I thought it would be good for girls.

This is a good for girls position. You can move down and do a little fun. Do you want me to be on the back end? You guys pick.

You want to face down? I'm a more face or downer. I'm a super subby kind of person. You are?

Tell everybody what to do. She's just little. She's little so she needs to be on top. Do you want me to pick another one?

Get in the van. We'll do more. My man will show you a good time. We need a microphone.

You tell me what you want. It seems to me that... This is a bit dominant for me personally. I can do it if you want it.

You want to be on the top or the bottom? I'd rather be on the bottom. You'd rather be on the bottom? She's going to be the bottom.

You have to get a microphone. I kind of am a bottom. Would you like to be in the top position? Why not?

Would you? Do you want to take your pants off? No. I don't want to take my top off.

Your boobs are fabulous. You must have wanted to because no one stripped it off of you. Anyone strip it off of her? Can I get a feel in there?

She did it on her own. Do you want to be here with your top off? Because I don't want you to have... This has to be consensual.

The merch girl and the porno. Consent is a very important thing. Is this consensual merch girl? Is this consensual merch girl?

She said they didn't even want to take your top off. You could change positions if you don't want to be the top. So now... She's upside...

Do you want me to hold the mic in the wrong position? It doesn't matter. I don't know. It's a different position.

Please hold the book. Give it a peek. Would you bring him some master supplies? It's kind of like a tribalism.

Is this right? I don't know. Not exactly. It's a slightly different one.

Why don't we pull up the scissors? This is more of a doggy style. I'm sorry. Why don't we pull up the scissors? Manhandle me. I like it.

Something about this is like twister. Whoa. Honey. Honey, relax.

My foot's hitting Dr. Susan. Oh, and now I have lube on my vagina. I think lube is supposed to go under. We're supposed to go over there.

Yeah, right. It's okay. Cheese and rice! Cheese and rice.

I think that's what this position is called. Cheese and rice. There go the shoes. Blind shoes.

You're so pretty. I think the scissors. All right, so let's hear it for Merch Girl and Dayton Reigns.

Wow. And Lonnie is applying the Astroglyde to celebrate masturbation month

with Evan Stone. I think the girls should try this one. Okay. The scissors.

Oh, I love scissors. Yeah. One of you reclines.

Since Dayton's on the floor, let her recline. I'm recline. Kelly, Merch Girl. Merch Girl.

There you go. That's it. And now you just kind of grind. Kind of grind like this.

I can feel Merch. Wait, Merch Girl has on jeans. This is not good for the clitoris. That could rub the clitoris wrong.

It's only because it's television. Careful, Merch Girl. Merch Girl. Calm, calm.

Just like the porn stars, we all have to get excited when we're in, you know, half naked sexual positions. And there's a penis right there.

We got a big cock. That's quite a cock. So I think we should get in a position with this penis somewhere.

Okay. So this is quite. This is partial. Partial.

Mutual masturbation. Partial girl on girl. Partial. Can we just get this part of the shirt

off? I don't know why you don't want to show your massive chest. How about the chest?

Biceps are as big as my calf. Nipples are so erect. That's why you didn't want to take his shirt off. You didn't want to show

what erect nipples he had. Whoa. Oh, my gosh. We don't need a lot.

It's like a little dab will do you. A little dab will do you. Are you good?

You're lying on the book though. It's a new educational system. There's a lot of little hazards. It's like a cooking class.

No, this is getting a little more porny now. The show is winding down,

but you were a fresh exciting interlude. You were a merch girl. We don't have a mic for you.

What was that? You feeling good about that? You got into some positions. With a real live porn shot.

You're backing her up. That sounds like another position. I'll take it right back out of there.

This is quite threesome going on right in front of us as we discuss positions.

He's one of my favorite porn stars. He's one of Evan Stone's favorite porn stars. Now he made her from before.

Evan Stone is asking me to just put the tip of his dick in my asshole. Don't do it.

I don't think that's a good idea. Okay, then don't. I like the idea. I think it is a good idea,

but it isn't something you were going to do. Right, right there. Does that look like that's going to fit? Does that look like it's going to fit?

Right? It's tapered. Very small head. Small tapered penis. It's not going to fit.

Trust me. I don't know. She's expressing some lack of interest in it, even though her

ass is wide open for you. I know, right? Okay. You're funny.

So, I feel like I have to be a referee. Right, you're like at the fight. And this is where the masturbation ends.

This is the masturbation part. And by the way, it's good on good reconnaissance that she wants you to come all over her tits.

You want a titty fuck me? That is a position, I think. Or maybe first we should have a double dildo

play with Lonnie Legend and Dayton, maybe. You don't have to put it inside.

What dildo? She has a dildo. Sorry, it's going to be sticky. I have a special dildo.

I just bought it. It's brand new and unused. I would be honored to christen it on Dr. Sin's show. I love how she's cooking.

This is a double dildo. A church-like show. As long as something is in someone, I'm happy. Something is in someone.

Oh, we're going to have fun. Okay, where is that dildo? Get your dildo. Now, glass dildos are great because they are

quite clean. And this is brand new, of course. But you can't wash them. Unlike the rubber ones

that, you know, you have to use condoms with. It's glass. No, it's solid.

Is it Pyrex glass? It's good. It's good. No tricks. The point is

what position. All right. We have an expert in positions.

What is the position they should assume for a double dildo play?

Which end would you like? Maybe they should just do it and then we'll figure out what position it looks like. Which one? Whatever one.

Name that position. Name that position. Okay, this is a new show. Name that position.

For $100, Alex. Name that position. Girls, you just get into it and then we have to figure out what it is.

It's not up to you, it's up to us. We all have all this fabulous bit. You choose.

You can't get it. Go from the middle. We're going to have fun. I think we are already having fun.

Those of us who were here. And here comes a dildo. And it is penetrating.

Yes it is. And we have penetrations. This is still safe. I agree to do it.

I'm having so much fun. And there's no fluid exchange yet. Don't be jealous, Evan. Evan?

What position are we demonstrating? Can I please say this is a facsimile of a cuckold scene in which Evan is the husband.

My tits are in my mouth. And Lonnie is the bull. And yeah. Fuck my wife.

Fuck my wife please. Fuck her with your big cock. Yeah, oh wow. Did you ever play a big bowl before Lonnie?

Yeah, and Evan is usually probably Let me jack your cock, wife. She fucks me. You know you like to see her fuck me, don't you?

Isn't she a hot wife? This is the quintessential hot wife Dayton Reigns.

Evan the Unexpected cockle. Here, go ahead. Hold my leg.

And get the cock in the fuck me. Assume the porn position. What position is this? This is scissoring with a dildo.

Scissoring with a dildo. Scissoring with a dildo. Or the Catherine wheel. This is actually

the Catherine wheel. Very bonobo. Think about the way the bonobos did it although they didn't really open up for the camera.

But still they were doing this kind of thing. Rubbing their pussy together. And the penis kind of looks like their penis. It's orange.

And a carrot. But it feels really good. We're all masturbating and fucking together. This is masturbation.

And you know you can masturbate while you fuck. It seems obvious but I should say that. And there it is.

Saliva. Very good lube. By the way, one of our sponsors is Saliva.

The Catherine wheel ladies and gentlemen. Advertising. Oh yeah. There's the Catherine wheel.

We have an extra. We're doing it in a three way. How are you doing? I'm enjoying the fuck out of this.

Fuck, right. I don't mean you Lonnie. Yeah, there you go.

Lonnie Lonnie Lonnie. Oh wow. Sexy little girl you. Are you tweeting this?

Roberto Bonobo. And Chelsea Bonobo. Are you tweeting? We're in the Scissors Catherine wheel.

The Catherine wheel. Cuckold position. With Emma Stone. With mutual masturbation.

Lonnie as the bull. Fuck my wife. The hot wife. This is amazing.

And of course it's all inspired by Mashumi Ghosh's book. Oh fuck yeah. Classic sex positions reinvented.

And you know you can. Lonnie's fucking my pussy so good. It's also lots of mutual masturbation. Woo!

Dr. Suzie. Oh hell Dr. Suzie. Thank you. You guys are just amazing.

She had a giggle orgasm too. A giggle orgasm. Why is my... Now I'm gonna fuck you.

Okay I think... We're having a switch. Oh I gotta find the switch position. Oh that's a Catherine wheel in full effect.

This is the full Catherine wheel with the microphone in the middle. Right. It's supposed to fuck the dildo girls not the microphone. Okay.

If you straighten your legs. But I think that now Evan is still in the cuckold position. Yeah.

How do you like the cuckold position? That's a good one. Straight your legs. Straight your legs.

Whoa. The nubs on the dildo. The nubs. That's not even the right position.

It's okay they're not a sponsor. Is the wrong position? Okay well then tell us what the position is. We're just porno people.

We don't know any better. They need to be directed. Oh I got one for you. One more.

Okay. And now... Oh my. Here we go.

This is the spider. The spider. Oh yeah. Yeah Max.

This is like the scorpion in yours. Scorpio. Dayton is getting a little aggressive right here. Am I hurting you?

I don't know. Is that okay? Here comes the couple. It's an anal invasion.

Right there. You don't want this. No I'm afraid. You should be.

Trust me. I don't want to poop on your dick. Guys are... Oh here's a mic.

No that's your mic. Do you need a mic? This would be the spider position. This is an inversion of the spider position.

No I think... It's an invasion. Woman on top. That's the actual position.

Hold on. Hold please. Hold the position. Dot dot dot.

This is very yoga. When the guy has to hold his position. Am I the guy? I'm not really a guy.

Oh that feels good. Oh Lonnie is rubbing my clip. Lonnie is rubbing my clip. I feel like we're doing a multiple masturbation.

You are. All three of us. It's a very masturbatory. Yeah it's a combo.

You know this is taking a little long. I don't know if they can assume this position without moving much longer. They can do what they gotta do.

So you're allowed to go to the bathroom. And now come the boobs. The playing with the boobs. This looks like sort of a turtle position.

The little legs coming out. This is a three-way position though. It's like a three-way masturbation. It feels so good.

It's so masturbatory. And it is the month of May. And... Okay.

Yeah I guess. I don't know if we can find this position. So I might change. Oh we found it. Here we go.

What is this? It's double decker. That's only part of it though. Double decker plus another.

Plus another. Double decker. So now you... That's pretty obvious.

It's the McDouble decker. It's the McDouble decker. Mutual masturbation double decker. Okay. So we're doing the triple decker.

Right. Sort of a triple decker. Yeah. Look at Lonnie smile.

Yeah. So now you can... Action. I've been actioning.

Action. Alright. So let's have a big

hand for the double decker plus. And we have Evan Stone in the role of

the cuckold who got lucky. And Dayton Reigns as the hot wife in the middle and Lonnie the legend is the bull who brought the dick.

Alright. Yeah. Nice. And it is right there in

Mashumi Gosu's book. Classic sex positions reinvented. Although you do need to make one now for

the threesome's. Threesome's. Okay. So we're almost out of time brothers and sisters.

Doctor Susie do you want to sit on my face? Okay. It's about to go. We need to do any communion so at least you can sit on my face.

Yeah. Okay. Now it's a foursome. Alright. So I think

it's... This is how we're winding up the show here. Yeah. Okay brothers and sisters.

I am I am moving to San Francisco. I feel like I'm taking off.

Whoo. Spank that pussy. Yeah. Whoa.

Thank yours too. How about that. Whoa. Alright brothers and sisters. We're out of time.

Whoo. Let's have the half. That was only a few months ago. In August.

I'm glad it hasn't soured since August. And yes brothers and sisters

we are at our wind up time which reminds me of our wind up toy.

Our masturbating trans doll. Love it. Yes we went to transparent Mar and me

and loser, losers in transparent and we met the stars and it's on the blog. And it's a great TV show.

Really, really groundbreaking TV show. So let's see.

I want to hear from everybody and then maybe we can have a climax to the show.

Who's going to have the climax? I think Evan should come all over Lonnie and I's kids. And I can feel her when she laughs.

When she laughs when she giggles the cock gyrates more inside my pussy it feels really good.

So what position is the question? I think we should both be on our knees. So do it now and then we'll say goodbye. We'll do it now.

Evan you're now in the role of star. Does anybody want to suck this? Rock star. You're in the role of that Egyptian god

who, let's see, who is the Egyptian god? Can I sit here? The Egyptian god who created the universe, I think it was

Horus, of course. By masturbating he masturbated into the darkness

and the planets and the sun it makes as much sense as... That's why there's billions and billions of planets.

It's true, it's all that sperm. All that sperm. Alright. Okay, where's the microphone?

Where's the mic? Wow, you don't need that much. Does that loop? Am I supposed to suck this?

I have no idea what's going on, Adam's in the picture. Alright, so assume your positions. This is the masturbating man. Alright, we're ready.

And Lonnie is supposed to do what? Just sit with me. Sit with her. Put the microphone

in front of him, please. Okay, let me have this, sorry. Okay, what was that? So irritating.

They're supposed to... Good thing I got a big cock, I'd be useless. Okay, well we're doing the position. Dildo

together between them. Right, oh my god. This is a position of butt to butt. Do you have this?

This is really a lesbian position. I don't know if guys can do... How would a guy and a girl do this? Ow!

The two girls are actually butt to butt with the dildo between them. And it is a glass dildo.

Does it in? Now it's in, okay, you feel it? How about now? Those nubs are not that great.

You know, it's okay. Successor to Mayra Bonoboville, Ron Jeremy. No, we love Ron and he's

very much alive. Yes we are. But a lot of sperm are going to die. I think you're not really glad you're waiting

for him to die. Don't fuck with his erection right now. That's fine. That's right, he was

masturbating when we were talking about all the deaths. Yeah, it's alright. Evan is a masturbation machine and we are so happy

to celebrate. That's why I'm not doing it. Please don't fuck my pussy with those nubs so hard.

Ow! Okay, masturbation is healthy. You could use some of those others. Those are our flashcards, our masturbation flashcards.

Ah! Don't ruin my pussy. You have to... It's relaxing, aren't you relaxing?

You have to line up the dildo. The dildo is lined up. It's the nubs. The nubs.

That are poking my bone in my pussy skin. Okay, we'll change your position then. You don't have to be in this position.

It's uncomfortable. There's a hundred more positions. Yeah, let's do another one. I think I got one.

We don't want you to be uncomfortable, darling. Masturbation is relaxing. That's number two. And here's what's this one.

Masturbation is eco-sexual. Get that, please. Oh, here's a good one. Masturbation is...

Oh, there it is. Isn't it convenient? Aren't you having convenience right now? Don't you feel like a convenience store?

It's good. And I'll take a slurpee. Masturbation is educational. Absolutely. You learn from yourself

when you love yourself. I love myself. And we love everybody. I love you.

It is a comedy. Oh my God, Lonnie, that feels good. I'm glad I'm hearing some positive feelings here. I'm glad I'm hearing some positive feelings here.

Evan, do you want to come over my tips? I'm about to. Yeah, he's about to. Yeah, are you going to give me a really fabulous

wet white shirt? Yeah, okay. Your size as big as my waist. Somebody grab his balls, please.

There we go. Look at those fabulous balls. All about maneuvering. I think men, if they knew how to play with their balls, they might have a better experience.

Men, learn how to play with your balls. It's not a bad thing. Do it by masturbating first. Don't expect your girl to know what to do with those things.

And then you can tell her what you like because guys like tugging some and some like just caressing. Some like slapping.

Boom, if you want. There you go. Boom. Harder? Like that?

He's been yanking that. I can feel him. For a while. Oh my God, I have like a beautiful

ball sack. Asked just smacking my spot and I have a fabulous man with a big cloth jacking it off

on me. I couldn't ask for a better day. Hey, hey, hey, guys. Photographers, photographers. Yeah,

photographers, really, this is an important moment. Don't be talking to each other. Two of the photographers. Oh, Lonnie, fuck me.

Evan, come all over my tits. Oh, yes, Evan. Come all over her tits. Master Bate. Master Bate is educational.

Master Bate is convenient. Sit on my face, Dr. Susan. That's not Master Bate when I sit on your face.

It's a mutual Master Bate and I'm helping. That way maybe he's going to get some on me. Is that what it is? Here you go.

Just don't get it on the rug. Yeah, whoa. Stroke it. Yank it.

Jacking off. As the girls are playing with that dildo. Yes.

Playing with that dildo and we are enacting some kind of position. I'm not sure what, but it's a good one.

And Evan Stone is in the middle. Oh, yes. And those

balls are tightening up. I see it. I can see it with my eyes and... He's got a smile on his face.

He says one of the audience members Bonoboville member actually which is a very good observation. He does have a smile on his face

and there was a drop of pre-come or come or something that went flying. I saw it. I did.

I'm right there. This is a blow by blow without the blow job. It's a hand job brothers and sisters

and it's beautiful and it's coming everywhere. I can feel that hot-com all over me. Oh, you deserve that

masturbation month. Oh, fuck yeah. Oh, yes. Beautiful.

Can we have some applause? Give the man a hand. And the ladies. Hallelujah. Praise the lord and the ladies.

Whoa. There we go. And he did what you requested

like a gentleman. He acts like, you know, a bull in a china shop

but he's a good little cuckold and he came on her tits just like she told him to. And now he's flinging it everywhere in case you'd like to.

It's really not flinging, it's on me. I think the camera people would like to think it's flinging on them. Yeah, hallelujah.

Thank you so much, Evan. Would you like to say a few words to the your people? I'm coming for you, Ron Jeremy.

You just came. Oh, Ron. It's tough to be the alpha. And you got all these guys after you.

Evan is the new Ron Jeremy though, I will say. Ron is not dead yet. I'm like old now.

Okay, so, I think we're over time, brothers and sisters, but it was worth it. It was great.

Beautiful. There is a union. It is already here. It is not a myth that it belongs to the federal

government and you as the individual. If you want rights, sign up now. All right. You're talking about the porn stars union?

There is a porn stars union. There is a workers union. There is a tattoo union. There is an adult sexual workers union.

We have all of the union. We also have a skateboard union. We're unionized. Union made.

Please sign up for the free speech coalition. All right. This is a lot of pitching going on here. That is.

Hi, Jeffrey Douglas. Woo. I have come all over my tits. Yes, you do.

You can just leave it like that for a moment. Okay. Because I think it looks so fun. Evan, you ruined the stills.

Oh. I thought maybe he would run out of energy after he came. Evan, you ruined the stills. You ruined the stills.

All right. Okay. Okay. Okay.

If he's down boy. Assume the position. Sitting on the microphone. Right. Exactly.

I just got come rubbed in all over my whole body. We just got it rubbed into our microphone. So, okay. So, everybody, we are saying goodbye.

And pitching our pitches. Well, we have a little pitch sequence here. So, who should we start with? We're going to start with our author and sex therapist.

Thank you so much. Mashumi Ghost. Mashumi. Yeah. Thank you for inspiring all this insanity.

Thank you ladies and gentlemen for performing all of the positions. You're so pretty and fun.

Lots of positions. And some of your own as well. I know that hurts. Yeah, I heard it over the last.

Oh. No, no. We know our Dayton. And don't give her rug burns.

It's okay. All right. Are you back in LA now? I am.

You are back in LA. Okay, because you have a website that says LA sex therapist. I do. LA sex therapy or Los Angeles sex therapy.

And you are a member of ASECT, correct? Yes, that's correct. And I am a member of ASECT. Believe it or not, they haven't kicked me out yet.

I'm so amazed. They tried a couple of them. They mounted a campaign to kick me out. But then they decided I was okay.

And now I'm going to be speaking about the bonobo way. Woo! On June 11th at the

48th annual ASECT convention in Puerto Rico, San Juan. Very nice. Are you going?

No. Are you going to talk about the bonobo way at DomCon too? And actually, yes, Dayton,

speaking of the bonobo way, I am going to be speaking at DomCon. You ever go to DomCon? No, I haven't. That is in LA, and you should go to that.

You should go. That's super fun. The spin on DomCon's presentation of the bonobo way is that they are,

and they are, the most femdom apes on earth. Nice. Yes, they are. Praise the femguy. Woo!

And y'all are going to learn about bonobo BDSM. Yeah, we're going to dress up a bonobo in latex, and

no, we're not going to do that. I'm a bonobo, aren't you? Well, then there's the human bonobos. Then you're already dressed up as one.

Yes. Bonobo sapiens. You bet. And I want to shout out a happy birthday

to Gonzo. Happy birthday, Gonzo Bonobo! Happy birthday! Okay.

I'd say Dayton's tits could be your birthday cake, except someone came all over them. Sorry. Alrighty.

Okay, so let's see. So, your merch girl, did you want to say anything as a farewell? I'm just happy to be here.

She's selling your book? Selling her books. $20. $20.

So, and Lonnie Legend, where do we find you? Lonnie! Lonnie!

Lonnie! Lonnie! Lonnie! Lonnie!

Lonnie! Lonnie! Lonnie! Lonnie!

Hi. One day... Hey, we'll change my name to Ron Jeremy. Niggly.

When will we know? Telling us a putt. You'll have to get a nose job and dye your hair and take some of it out.

I'm going to get circumcised to be really Jewish. Wait, your cock's wonderful the way it is. Don't change anything.

It actually already is circumcised. It is circumcised. No worries. Well, you all know Evan Stone

and you all know Dayton Reigns who did a radio show today about her work at the institute. Really, just don't forget to

come visit me as a therapist at DrSyzenBlock.com Call me

310-568-0066 and don't forget to look at me up on dnsclandtv.com I'm here for you.

I love you guys. We're so fun. See, having sex is fun. Masturbating is fun. DrSyzen's fun.

Mushami's fun. Lonnie Legend's fun. Don't let anyone else tell you different. Yeah, we are in charge.

We're fun. It's fun. Are you having fun, Max? You want to say some words?

Today I went and I got some sushi. Yeah. Tasted like pussy? No, there's a wonderful little lady there.

And now so when she made this thing for me and then when I said goodbye

she said have a happy day. She didn't say have a good day. She said have a happy day. Nice.

So from now on the good day is gone. It's all have a happy day. That's what we want to do.

I don't have a good day. I like good. Surround yourself with good. Happy is fun. Happy day. I have a happy day.

My mother used to give me happy pills. Mine too. They were called Ritalin. Mine were Ritalin.

I got happy pills called Ritalin. Yours were Ritalin. Everyone gets a different kind. They weren't that happy. Eminems are not that good for you though.

Neither is Ritalin. All right brothers and sisters. It's a merry masturbation month indeed.

And we're out of time. You're coming to Domcon and you're coming to Asect. Well, that's a little expensive.

But if you're sex therapist you should learn how to help your clients to release their inner bonobo. And yeah.

It's masturbation month. Not that you shouldn't masturbate all the time. But this is the time to honor it and celebrate. Right.

Start a new practice. Start a new practice. And try some of these classic sex positions reinvented

by Mashumi Ghost. Do the bonobo way. You know you got a lot to do. But tonight it's all just relaxing.

Yeah right. So make love tonight. You know you could try the sex positions and make love in those. 110.

110 if you've got a partner. But you know you don't always have a partner. And that shouldn't make you crazy and violent.

And a mass murderer. Okay. Don't let not having a partner get you upset.

Even though all this fun is being had. There's no shame. There's nothing wrong with masturbating. Evan Stone.

Hey hey hey. Settle. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

You know you kiss, you make up. You separate. It always happens with other humans. It does.

But the longest term relationship you will ever have is the one that you have with yourself. Make it a good one.

So make love to someone you love tonight. Even if that someone is you. I love you.

I love you. Yeah. With someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else.

You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airways. But my day job is director

of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences. Specializing in sex therapy over the phone.

Anytime you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination.

My world renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you,

advise you, role play for you, fantasize with you. No fantasy is too taboo and help you with anything

from impotence to exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. For more information call us

at 2-1-3-2-9-1-9-4-9-7. That's 2-1-3-2-9-1-9-4-9-7. Anytime you need to talk. You're listening to Radio Suzy 1

on the World Wide Web.