Full transcript of Bisexual Monogamy on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

Alex and Mark. I have a couple. Hello. Hello. Hello. Wow. Alex is the one with the little girl voice.

Yes. Are you a little girl? No. Oh, good.

How old are you? Yes, it is a very high voice. You sound about seven. No.

Okay. I think I said all the time. Twenty-one? Twenty-two.

Twenty-two. Okay. That's a good age. That's a very good age. That's a good hedonism. I like that.

Thank you. So do I. Yes. Do you think of yourself as an ethical hedonist?

I don't know. Ethical sometimes, unethical other times, but yes, the hedonist always. Okay.

Well, hedonist always. Now how are you unethical? I should know about this. Oh, that's a long story.

We actually called with a specific issue because Alex and I, we've lived together for about two years now and I've given up seeing men

and to be totally monogamous to her. But she would like to do the same except she cannot have orgasms during straight sex. She can only have orgasms during gay sex.

Oh my goodness. This is all mix and match and multiple sexual attitudes. Wow.

So you're both bisexual, I guess. I would guess that I am. I mean, I never like to, you know, try and give myself some identity of body.

Okay. Okay. Let's not label you. God and goddess forbid that we label you, Mark.

Okay. Well, I wouldn't do that, but I would like to know you like people, whether they're male or female.

Oh, I love people. You could be attracted to a male or a female. I love people and I love Alex. And you love Alex.

And you want to be monogamous with Alex. It happens that Alex is a woman and you love her dearly. And I love him.

And you love Mark. Oh, very good, Alex. Okay. Well, everybody loves each other.

And Alex, you are, okay, you probably don't want me to label you as bisexual either. No, I'm bisexual. Okay.

That's a cheerful attitude. She aims to please here. Do you aim to please Alex? Yes, I do.

You do, you do. But somehow you're not being pleased, am I right? I'm incapable of climaxing when I'm with a guy. Ah.

And tell me a little more about this. We tried, we tried. And it just, he doesn't, like, he doesn't please me that way. It gets to be like an exercise in futility,

if you know what I mean. Yes. I come and then I lose my strength, my heart on, if you know what I mean.

Yes, I do know what you mean. I have one too. I can relate. Well, okay, I understand.

So, Alex, let me ask you a couple of questions and see if I can help out. Do you orgasm for masturbation? Yeah.

Have you ever masturbated with Mark? Yeah. Okay. Have you orgasmed when you've masturbated?

In front of him. Yeah. Not when he does it to me. Well, can he touch you while you're masturbating?

Can he kind of join in the event? Have we done that? Yeah, we have done that. And it, it, it works sometimes, but,

but it's very inconsistent, you know? It, it can't be a good thing. Okay. Well, I just want Alex to feel comfortable about touching herself.

Because sex is, is a team sport or, you know, endeavor, if you don't like the word sport. And, and, you know, I think sometimes people who have difficulty orgasming with a partner can resolve that difficulty by just touching themselves, you know?

Where you know that it feels good. And he might not be doing it right. And that, that's sort of an expedient thing to do while you are teaching him. Since you are going to be teaching him.

I'm not going to let him off the hook. Don't worry, Alex. I'm just, this is something to do, you know, so that each of your events is not, you know,

not something in orgasmic for you. Okay? So you're going to do that. You're going to, you're going to get yourself off if nothing else.

Now, let me ask you, Alex. What is it that women do when you're, when you've been with women that really gets you off? They, they just touch me, you know?

They touch me in the right places. Get, get a little specific without getting vulgar, if you can possibly do that. I think, you know, we know each other's bodies,

and they just, they just do it for me. Well, that is kind of a, of a, of a saying that is said about why women prefer each other sometimes, is that we know each other's bodies.

Also why some guys say guys like guys is that guys understand what it feels like to be pleasured, and so they know exactly what to do. And there is something to that.

However, there's nothing wrong with learning. I mean, Mark sounds like he's very willing to learn, even though he's a little unethical. I don't know how he's unethical.

That worries me, the unethical part. You didn't, oh right, does that worry you too? Well, I want, I want to have a threesome. I want to bring another girl into it, but he won't let me.

Well, I don't know. I just like, I feel like I, once we, we start being, not, you know, once we start bringing other people into it, then, then for instance, she might want to bring another guy into it,

and then, and then like suddenly we have totally broken down the monogamous aspect of our relationship, and that really scares me because she's the first real, I hate to say it on the air like this,

but she's the first real love of my life, and I, and she's the first person, whether she be a guy or a girl who I really felt like I wanted to be with and be monogamous with,

and it's for the first time I've really believed in the whole concept of monogamy when I've been with her. So it's just like it's a hard spot to be in for me because I...

Alex, Alex, do you hear what Mark is saying? He feels very passionately about you. Do you feel that way about him? I do. I love him so much.

But you have this, you know, you kind of have this want to involve your friends attitude. You don't believe in monogamy? No, I do believe in monogamy,

but I also believe in, you know, physical attraction and physical pleasure, and it's just... Well, let me not be so heavy-duty about it instead of saying you believe in monogamy.

Do you want to be monogamous with Mark? It doesn't sound like it. I want to be with him, but monogamy has always been a problem for me in the past.

You know, I just... I love him so much, but it's not... I think... I don't know, I think about it.

I'm not ready to just settle down and be with one person. And that could be something that's holding you back from climaxing with Mark.

Is that you kind of feel a little smothered by him and you love him and care about him and you two have a certain kind of chemistry that I can hear that gets you either, you know,

rockin' or rollin' with each other. I mean, you can fight, I can hear that. But I think you're holding back from him because you feel that he's pushing you

into this monogamy thing. Yeah, that makes sense, because honestly, when we first met, do you remember how you used to orgasm during sex

when we were not monogamous and when I was with men and you were with women and I was with other girls and you were with other guys? This isn't a thing where it's because he's a guy.

It's because he's Mark and he wants to be monogamous with you. And you're very... Part of you wants to and part of you is saying, I'm 22, not only am I 22, I sound like I'm 7.

And I have so much to do in life and so many people to be with. Oh my God, I don't want to close myself down. I don't want to close off my options.

And so you close off your orgasm. Right. Yeah, this makes sense. So now that you know that, what are you going to do?

I don't know, try harder. Try? Yeah, try now over. That would be great.

So you two kind of are on opposite ends of a pole here, so to speak, in terms of your views as to how a relationship should go or how this relationship should go.

You want to be monogamous, Mark. Alex, you want to... It sounds like have Mark as your main man. I want to be monogamous with him eventually.

I want to marry him right now because I'm so young. I just want to experience other people while I can. Yes, I understand.

I guess I could live with that. It's the orgasm thing that gets to me. It's like I so wish to please her because if I could please her,

I feel like eventually she would really just feel no need to go elsewhere. So it's like... You're onto something there, Mark.

Let me tell you something. Although I'm a big fan of monogamy, in fact, me and my husband, Max, are monogamous in a way.

That's very important. We don't have sexual intercourse with other people, but we do have a lot of fun with people. I've seen you spanked on TV

if you don't mind me spanking you. If I don't mind you saying, I don't mind doing it, so I must not mind you saying. No, spanking is a form of non-intercourse sex

that I enjoy with other people. But in any case, I'm a big fan of monogamy, but, Mark, you said to me just now, I want to give her pleasure.

And what would give her pleasure, it sounds to me like, is you giving her the freedom to be with other people. And it might be...

I mean, you're taking a risk here, a big risk, but I don't know whether you have any choice if you really want to please her. You might just be the man of her dreams, you know.

If you give her that freedom, she might not even really take it. She just needs to know that you are giving it to her. And if she doesn't know that,

obviously she's not coming with you. And you know it's not because you're a guy and the girl thing, you know. Although that's sometimes the case,

but you guys are pansexual. I mean, you're into people. That's not holding you back. What's holding back, Alex,

is just your desire to have her all to yourself, Mark. And I understand if I... I mean, she sounds real cute. I'd want her all to myself if I were you.

I am, I really care. Listen to that, you know, she teases you about it too. I'm really cute, yeah. And you can't have me altogether.

I mean, you can have me, but I want to be... have my options open. And I understand she's 22. How are you going to hold the 22-year-old down?

I don't know. Unless you do live on a farm. She's holding me down and I'm only 21. But...

You're 21? Uh-huh. Oh, okay. Well, you know, people mature at different rates

and want different things, and that is interesting. I didn't realize you were 21. But Alex is obviously interested in exploring new sexual adventures,

or at least having the freedom to do that. Yeah, and I want to do it with him, but he... You know what it is? It's that, like, with so many other people,

I'm just so able to detach emotionally. But, like, Alex is such a big part of my life in general. Like, all of my emotions have to do with her in some way. So, the area of sex and sexuality

is just so hard to think of, you know, doing it any other way. Well, wait a second. Why don't you try something like what Max and I do?

Why don't you just have a certain kind of limit on the kind of sex that you'll have with other people? That is an excellent idea. Thank you.

Well, Alex is near the doctor. Well, so, I don't know whether Alex sees, though. Alex, what do you think about that? Sorry, I'm sorry.

My apologies. No, you know, it's a doctor. It's just I'm not going to, you know, use a stethoscope on you. But I will probe into your psyche

and take you apart and put you back together the way I think you ought to be. Okay. So, Alex, what do you think about that? What do you think about sort of restricting yourselves

to not having full-blown intercourse with other people? I'm open to that. Okay. See, he was, I didn't want him to give up, guys.

He was the one who wanted that, because he wanted to be with me. You didn't want him to give up, guys? I didn't want him to, but he... You mean you actually would like to see him with a guy?

Yeah. Ooh. Yeah. You are a kinky little thing.

That would be perfectly fine with me. I just wouldn't want it to lead to a full-blown, I don't know, what's, you know, polygamous, I guess is the word, relationship. You know what I mean?

All right. I do know what you mean. And what I have to go, I have a lot of other callers. Oh, yes.

You're not the only people in my life. You're not my only couple. But I do want to say that you guys, you're very articulate. And therefore I would advise you to talk more about this to work out some kind of a compromise

where Alex feels she has her options open and can explore other people just in case, you know, you're not the man of her dreams. And even if you are the man of her dreams, Mark, she wants to have adventures now so that when she settles down with you, she doesn't feel like she missed anything.

Okay. There you go. Okay. And so, Alex, you have to be sensitive to Mark's very real fear that he could lose you.

Right. And you also have to practice safe sex. And if you do what I'm saying, if you don't have inner full-blown oner course with people, then you don't have to worry about all those diseases that are out there.

Right. Well, you have to maybe worry about a few, like catching a cold, but not AIDS. No body fluid exchange with other people, okay? Okay.

Okay. Thank you. Okay. Keep in touch with me.

Okay. Okay. Okay. And spank each other.

Okay. You're listening to Radio Suzy One on the World Wide Web.