Sex in China, Love in LA

Featuring:Imtiaz Waris, Jello Shots LA aka Bonoboville Jello Shots, Lucky Starr, Pappy, Richard Burger, Shay Golden, Tom Quinn, Victor Muh, Zhang

Nee hao! From the ancient TAO to Chairman MAO to what’s happening NOW, this show explores the changing faces of sex in hitherto mysterious China. Though many of us in the West stereotype the Chinese as a robotic army of androgynous sexophobes, the facts are a lot more complex—and sexy! Bottom line: There are 1.5 billion people in the PRC (People’s Republic of China) and (like us) they are all Children of Sex, so some of them must be doing it.

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Please wait...

Full transcript of Sex in China, Love in LA on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

You're listening to Radio Susie 1 on the World Wide Web and now here she is, Dr. Susan Block. Brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, artists and exhibitionists, lawyers and connoisseurs, those of you who are easy and those of you who are Chinesey. It's tough to find things to rhyme with Chinese that aren't like Javanese or Japanese or Koreanese.

But yeah, Taoists or Maoists, all you children of sex and we are all children of sex. We may or may not be children of God. We may or may not be children of all love or Buddha. I love this Buddha. He's got his balls in his hands.

We may or may not be children of Confucius or we may or may not be children of Jesus. We don't know, but one thing we do know, whether we're easy or Chinesey, we know we are all children of sex with a capital X. Can I hear an amen?

Can I hear an A-women? I want to welcome you to the womb room of Dr. Susie Speakeasy in the soul of downtown LA. This is Bonoboville, brothers and sisters, where we practice the Bonobo way of peace through pleasure. Yes, and this is the Garden of Eden.

And my co-host Eve is here to greet you. And she's all excited because she's getting ready for her year. That's right. It's coming up on the year of the snake Chinese New Year.

And we're very excited to celebrate. And in the meantime, we are doing a show tonight on a very special subject. That's right, behind the red door. Not the green one, okay?

But hey, sex is sex. We are all children of sex, whether our doors are green or red. Behind the red door, sex in China. I bet some of you didn't think they did that.

Except how else would they have all those 1.5 million, I thought, a billion, excuse me, billion people that even though the Chinese are very clever, all these children come from sex. I mean, even if it's a test tube, you still got to get the sperm and the egg together so far. So there is sex in China.

There's no sound in my headphones, but there is sex in China. And this book that is really the only book that is about sex in China from history, from ancient times to very, very current, up to the minute. We happen to be lucky enough to have the author, Richard Berger.

Let's welcome Richard, author of Behind the Red Door, Sex in China. And welcome. Nice to meet you. Nice to be here. Thank you. Well, my pleasure to have you. And I actually hear Richard very well in my headphones.

Okay, well, that's the important thing, because you're my guest. Yeah, and I really appreciate you, you know, kind of jumping the great firewall of China to be here, because I'm sure that, you know, the great firewall would prevent us from being heard in actual China. It would.

Yes. But as I understand it, your book isn't even available in China yet. No, it will probably never be available in Chinese. The government would object. It touches on taboo topics, so it would almost certainly be censored there.

It is available in English. They don't care what you say in English, as long as you're not saying it in Chinese to the masses. Right. Censorship is alive and well in China. I mean, it is in every country. There's some level of censorship that the government doesn't.

And, of course, always self-censorship that people do, but in China it's pretty high-level censorship. Yeah. But it's changed so much. It's amazing. And you go through all of this in your book from the ancient Chinese attitude towards sex, which was really kind of liberal, especially when you consider, you know,

what the West was going through in the Middle Ages when, you know, China was open to sex as a path to enlightenment. So let me ask you. You're a writer, a blogger. Your blog is Peking Duck. Yes.

And you're a PR guy, right? I am. I'm an author. Yeah. Yeah. Well, we know that. But I'm saying, I guess I'm asking, what made you want to write a book about sex in China? The sex part?

Sure. There's a big gap. The only books about sex in China that are now available are written by academics, for academics. They're hard to read. They're shockingly expensive. Most of them are out of print, so they'll cost over $100 to $150.

So I saw a need for a book that was written from a journalistic perspective with lots of anecdotes and interviews that moved along at a rapid pace that told the entire panoramic history of sex in China from the very ancient days of 5,000 years ago until today.

And I hope behind the red door, sex in China achieved that goal. Well, it definitely did with me. And, I mean, you didn't believe that I read it. I guess because I'm blonde, you know. But I did. I just finished it today, actually. And it is really readable. I mean, it's funny. It's entertaining.

It's incisive. You can see why they wouldn't allow it translated into Chinese because it's very critical. But, you know, also very compassionate and understanding of what China is going through. I mean, it's a good, great read. And there's some really sexy parts, too.

Like, I mean, like that I even got, like, pornographized by. So, and most of that is from ancient or maybe Victorian time writings. Yeah, that's what that mostly is. Well, I want to ask you more about this book,

and yet I want to introduce some of my other guests here, starting with the China-born Zhang. Ni Hao. Ni Hao.

Ni Hao. And how? I'm a product of sex in China, but I've never done it in China myself. You're made in China? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And how long were you there? Eight years. So, still to the end at the time. Wow. But eight years, that's enough to really sort of absorb something. I was eight years old.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, what's your... Do you have any memories of China? Erotic memories? Erotic memories?

Well, let's say sensuous. I know that sounds like an oxymoron. Erotic memories. Although, there's some erotic stuff in here.

We're going to get to that. Well, when I was three or four years old, I had a huge crush on a boy in my kindergarten. Ah, there you go.

And so I thought the logical thing to do was to rub myself and lift my finger up to his nose. Oh, you did? Yes, and also I convinced my fellow classmates to do the same thing.

Yes. Wow. This is intense. And what year was this? This was...

I was four, so that was 1990. 1990. So, Deng, how do you pronounce that? Deng, right? He was in charge? Deng Chaoping.

Deng Chaoping, right, okay. So, things were getting liberalized from Maoist times. I've got my little Mao-Sac here. I'm very excited about that.

I actually got that in China. Yes, you got this when you were eight? No, no, no, I went back for about two weeks in 2004. And I found that in the street.

This is a really cool thing. Yeah, I mean, and this is kind of considered like a souvenir type thing at this point. Because people don't have to carry these anymore. Or is this a...

It's a novelty now. It's a novelty. Maoist, Taoist, there's all kinds now. Yeah.

So, we'll welcome Sex in China. I mean, this is a subject that interests you? Definitely. Like, if you ever go back?

If I ever go back, I hope to have Sex in China. So, you haven't done that yet? No, not yet. Not even when you got the Rucksack?

No, I was with my parents. Oh, right, right, right, okay. All right, so we'll welcome, and we're going to talk more to you and to Richard,

but I want to introduce Lucky Star. Hello. Welcome back. Hello, how are you?

On your third time. Third time, yes. On the Dr. Susan Block show. So, Three's the Charm.

Yep. It's going to be a lucky time. Yeah. Yeah, so...

Now, what... I mean, you look great, by the way. What kind of a dress do we call this? Oh, this is just my Asian friend left this in my closet,

and I decide to wear it. Asian friend left this in my closet, and I decide to wear it dress. Yes.

Yes, well, it's very, you know, Susie Wongie. Right. You know, it's cute and sort of tropical. A little bit.

Yeah, yeah, very nice. So, now, are you... I don't even know. Are you like...

Chinese? Part Chinese? No. No.

Well, the rumor is that my grandmother was a quarter Chinese, which I guess would make me one-sixteenth, but I don't know how true that is. I think it's something my sister made up, but who knows?

Right, right, okay. Well, that's Chinese enough for us. Right. Because your guy here, whose name is Wang, right?

I mean, is that a Chinese name? Well, actually, my real last name is Wanger, so... Wanger. Yeah.

Does that have something to do with sex? No, I mean, it's a Swiss name. Oh, yes. Mm.

I hear people speaking Chinese. There's a lot of Swiss Wangers. Was that you? Yes.

Zang, we're trying to figure out how to say make love in Chinese. Oh, okay. Well, I got...

Joie? Duo. Duo? Duo.

I cannot say this word. Like, you have your tongue at the tip of your... Yes. Duo.

Duo. Duo. I. Duo.

I. Yes. Right. So, if you want to say to somebody you want to have sex,

what do you say? Well, I do feel like I'm a French kiss in the air when I say that, in a way. If you want to have sex with somebody...

Duo. I. Bye. Well, anyway, you guys are now an item, right?

I'm trying to find out Susie. Dr. Susie. Right. Wow.

Dr. Susie, can you hear me? Thank you. I can't really hear you. Oh, you can't hear me?

You can't hear me, though. Okay. I hear you like you're out there in the room. But not in my headphones.

I just want to find out before I go to China how you ask somebody if they want to have sex. I can't hear you. Geez, why can't she hear me? Okay.

Somehow you guys can hear him? We can hear him. They can hear him? Yeah.

What? Say that? Do you want to make love with me? Wow.

Well, I'm not going to get very far there. Okay. Yeah. Well, I don't know if that's okay with my husband.

You were looking right at him. Oh, no. I guess we're nervous. Sure.

And hello, Shay. Hi. Hey, I like how you got the chopsticks in your hair. Very, you know, Chinese or Chinesey or easy.

You're a little bit of both. Yeah, easy. At least with Brock. Hey, here's Brock.

You guys have been tweeting pictures of your love. Yes. It's very inspiring. Okay.

You like Chinese food? Yes. Actually, I had some last night. Who doesn't?

I think it was Chinese. You thought fortune cookies were Chinese, but we just found out they're not. Right. So it may not have been Chinese food.

We're going to learn a lot about that. And do I have Victor on the line? Yeah. Is he there?

This is going to be the real test of my headphones if I can hear. Ah, I'm now hearing my voice. Hey, it's because you had Victor turned down. You also had my voice turned down.

Now I'm hearing myself. Can you hear me? And that's the important thing. There is Victor live from Beijing.

Yes. Wow. Victor's an old friend of ours, Ni Hao, and he's a filmmaker and a DJ, right? I'm DJing now, yeah.

Cool. And you're DJing in Beijing? I DJ in Beijing and in Shanghai when I get out of Shanghai, like once every couple of months. Wow.

I'm now able to pronounce this word. Jua. Jua. Jua.

Jua. Jua. Jua. I'm not coming on to you, Victor, or maybe I am.

Yeah. So we've got this fantastic book here, Behind the Red Door, Sex in China, by Richard Berger, who's here. And I mean, I think it's fantastic.

I don't know. Have you had a chance to look at it on the web? Anybody have a chance to? No.

Mmm. You were supposed to do your homework. I didn't have a book. Ah, but you can look at it on the web.

I mean, they always give you a few pages. I saw the front cover. That's important. It's got red in it and a couple.

And okay, well, you all have to read this book if you want to know anything about China. Now, I think if you want to know anything about sex, you got to read this book because, you know, there's 1.5 billion people in China, you know, and they're opening up gradually. Right?

So we got to know about this, you know? And I mean, they're almost like from another planet in a way. But yet, they're just like us. Right?

I mean, what do you think, Victor? Yeah, I think you're absolutely right. They're absolutely like us, but they think a little differently. And they have cultural differences.

Mmm. And sexual. Sexual? I haven't noticed anything that different.

Well, maybe not the body parts. They're added. Yeah, I guess socio-sexual, I'd have to say. Okay.

You know, I mean, we're all children of sex. So we're kind of all humans. And homo sapiens doesn't have to do with homosexual just being human. And yet, you know, society has such a big influence on our sexuality,

on what we think is normal, on how we have sex, on when we have sex, on whom we have sex with, you know, our parents influence us, our society, censorship influences us because we can't see certain things. You know, religion, of course, and tradition, all these things.

And China has had this great wall, and now this great firewall, that has kind of kept it a little bit different. And yet, so big, you know. So that's why we're here tonight, other than to have a good time.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you've got to have a look at my fabulous producer walking around with a lampshade on her head. And a pipe dream products, a geisha girl outfit here.

I mean, not geisha, that's Japanese, right? That's not Chinese. What is... Okay, so this is something we need to learn.

What's a Chinese hooker? How do you say this? I mean, because you've got a whole chapter on all the different forms of Chinese prostitutes.

There are quite a few. Not that Teja is one. She's my producer. But I doubt that even the Chinese prostitutes can dress like this.

And she's even got the brawn to be a little conservative in the beginning. But nice butt, yeah. Right, and the dog. She's not going to eat the dog.

I mean, China is very, very restrictive. Right, right. Some people might think so. Just clarifying that.

Chinese people don't eat dogs? I think that's more Korean. Well, Southern China in Guangzhou, they'll eat anything that moves, whether it's dogs or big cockroaches, cats.

Really? They'll eat just about anything. They're famous for that. And why do they do that?

It's just part of Chinese culture. One of their favorite things is there's an animal called a civet cat. And it eats coffee beans, and then it excretes them. They take those coffee beans and turn it into civet cat tea,

which to me is quite repulsive. But that's quite normal in China. I mean, are they really hungry? It's a delicacy.

Wow. Okay. They don't eat snake, do they? They certainly do.

Oh, poor Eve. Now, we're coming up on the year of the snake, aren't we? I've had snake. Yeah, you have had snake.

Okay, don't talk about that in front of Eve. Okay. It's her year. I haven't.

In Chinese New Year terms. And the snake is a sexy kind of animal. I mean, does China consider snakes to be sexy? Like human?

Like, I was going to say like humans. See, here I am thinking China is like this alien race. But they're humans like us, of course. In fact, Victor's right there, right now.

And Helen was born there. You're human, aren't you? Although I sometimes wonder. Yeah, quasi.

I feel human. Zang. I'm sorry. I used the wrong name there.

Yeah, okay. So, yeah. We were going to talk about when we saw that gorgeous pipe dream products outfit that Teja is wearing.

The different types of Chinese professional women. Yeah. Well, there are seven different tiers of Chinese prostitutes. It's quite fascinating.

The police have actually identified these seven tiers. At the very, very top is what's called the second wife, which is just the equivalent of a concubine. These are kept women who rich men put up in hotels

and pay a salary to. And they're theirs all the time. And you also have women who work in massage parlors and in karaoke bars where they offer special services to men.

And the common technique there is you start with the regular massage, then you slowly start to stimulate the man, then start to stimulate him some more, and then when he's getting really hot for it,

you'll say, wait a minute, that'll be 500 extra quai if you want me to take it to the next step. Right. Very, very skilled.

I'm not going to ask how you got such a descriptive, you know. I did my research. Yeah. Why are you laughing so much, Lucky?

It's just funny to me. Karaoke. Karaoke. And then it's just like, oh, it's like, shit, I should do that

at porn star karaoke every Tuesday. Like, oh, I sing you a song? Suck your dick? Oh, okay.

Well, you know, it's kind of like that without being so graphic, I guess. That's just me. Well, I don't know.

Yeah. Victor. Karaoke's in China are like the Chinese favorite pastime for going out at night.

So we go to bars. We go to night clubs. They go to karaoke. And there are karaoke's all over every city.

And if you leave the first tier cities and go to like the second tier cities, I was just in Inner Mongolia, there's nothing to do at night except go to a KTV or a karaoke.

They call them KTV's here. And I mean, you could pick up professional sex workers, let's say. Well, I've had, I have a government friend in China.

And what we do for fun is we go to his specific KTV and there's no, there's no like games. You just walk in and you sit down about 12 girls walk in front of you and you pick your girl.

Whoa. All right. That's what I call a Chinese harem. Yeah.

I mean, I don't know if there's a word for the Chinese harem, but I mean, they used to have harems in Imperial China. The Taoists were really into like having sex with lots of women in order to, you know, improve your key

and chi and all that stuff. Right. Yeah. I've even got a pair of Chinese Benoit balls right here.

I don't know if they actually use these. They're kind of big. Right. They use their big ones, but they've got pandas on them.

How do you use them? Well, you stuff these up you and hope that they don't, they don't stay up you because otherwise you got to go to the Chinese emergency room because we don't know

how to take them out. But they're, they're amazing. They're, they're heavy. They're, they're major things, but you know,

I guess it's a form of sex tour. And China, a lot of sex toys are made in China. Not so much sold there, but a little bit, you know, but a lot are made there.

Almost all are made there. Yeah. Oh, I have a question. I have a question for Richard about this.

Okay. Because there are sex shops selling sex toys on virtually every street corner in China. Yes.

Why would they, why would the Chinese government allow these sex shops but not allow, for example, pornography? Good questions. And to ban your, and to ban your book.

It's a wonderful question. Yeah. I was going to get to that, but I'm glad the guy in Beijing asked that question.

Okay. Watch out if his, if his line is cut suddenly. Right. Okay.

Let me go for it. There's 200,000 sex shops in China. Wow. 2000 in Beijing alone.

The very first one opened in 1993 in Beijing. But sex shops there are different than sex shops here. You'll never see pornography.

Pornography is considered a form of western spiritual pollution. Now sex shops have a unique purpose. They are all sanctioned by the government.

Every sex shopping China. If you look in the corner or behind the shelf, there'll be a certificate from the China Sexology Association certifying them as

healthcare professionals who were there to help people solve their sexual problems. You go in there and you tell them, I'm having problems with premature

ejaculation. My wife is coming too soon. Whatever. And they're there to actually help guide you.

We have herbs for that. Yeah, exactly. They have herbs for that. We do too, actually.

They have sex toys for that. They have all these techniques. They're actually teachers. They're healthcare professionals.

That's how they see themselves. And the government endorses this. The government wants those shops to be there because in their minds,

when you have a sexually satisfied population, they're less likely to worry about government and protest about it.

Yeah, probably that is true. They want to keep the people happy. But the people also like a little porn or erotica or maybe to read your book.

Yeah. You know, I don't know. I mean, I wonder about that. I mean, even the ancient texts

that you've got in here that originated in China and art that originated in China that's erotic, you're not allowed to look at now.

It's all suppressed. Unless you just get past the firewall and look at it online, which everybody can do.

Yeah, the government is still very, very uptight about sex and porn. I don't think we'll ever see it legal. But anyone with a Wi-Fi connection

can download porn in China. So youth today are all exposed to it. Yeah, yeah. So that's why I might disagree with you

that, you know, you don't think they'll ever open up because that's, you know, ever is a long time. So I think it will open up,

but it will open up in a Chinese way somehow. It'll be like a Chinese puzzle and your fingers will get stuck as you're looking at porn.

And so what about, I mean, Victor, I mean, you're not a big porn watcher, although I know you've edited a little bit of it.

That's right. I mean, do you feel like you're censored in terms of what you can access literature, art-wise, I mean,

film-wise? I gotta tell you, basically, if you're educated and you have a little bit of money in China,

you can easily get over the firewall. I'm actually talking to you right now using a VPN. Probably any kid in China.

Tunnels me through the firewall, encrypts my transmission, and I'm good to go. So I have no problem accessing

anything I want in the world using a VPN. Yeah, well, you know, there's always a way.

But yet, there's this censorship that exists in this huge country and it's gotta have the power. Well, I'm sorry, censorship exists

in this huge country. I've been to prison in this country. That's right. So I don't want to hear about no Chinese people going to prison

because it's all over the world whenever you decide to talk against the government in certain ways, you're going to prison.

So can we hear him because I can't hear Max in my headphones? People can hear me. I agree with you.

I think that China is one of the great nations of the world when it broke loose from the British who were selling drugs down there.

Okay? And I think that the Chinese people have done a miracle and have taken millions and millions of people

out of poverty. And we want to call them communists and socialists and all of these things here. Censorship is no different in China

than it is here. And now speaking of sex in the other way, the gender way, I've got somebody

fooling with my headphones. You know, Mao, I mean, he was a big puritanical leader

and certainly censored sex a lot. But he did make women much more equal in society.

I mean, women just suddenly got a lot of rights under Mao. So that's pro-sex in a way. And keep in mind

that Mao Zedong's little red book was banned in this country. Okay? It had to be imported.

Right. So censorship is nothing new in China. Censorship is the weapon

and the tool of all governments to stay in power. So I want to equalize that. It's true, but there's political censorship

and there's pornography censorship. Well, there's political censorship here too. Because if I'm a communist and I go to work

at some company and I bring the communist manifesto with me, I'm not going to last long in that company. I can tell you that.

Especially if I try to organize the workers and say, hey, communism is the way to go. But at least we can get on Facebook and YouTube and Twitter here.

China is terrified of letting the people participate. I'm a little bit in agreement with them that it's pollution, though. But, yeah,

I mean, each country, each land, each religion has its erotic side

and its censorious side. I mean, we all do. I remember when I was in France promoting my book and I thought, France is the most

sexually liberal country on Earth. And all the French were going, oh, we don't talk about sex like you Americans. No, we just do it.

So everybody's got their uptightness and everybody's got their openness. And I mean,

what is it what I wanted to know and I wasn't sure if I could tell from your book, what do the Chinese

generally find really sexy? I mean, they used to find, like, bound feet sexy. That was like

a Chinese fetish. I don't think that is anymore since Mao. No. Right. And that's probably a good thing, although I kind of think westerners

find bound feet sexy because we all wear these high heels that destroy our feet. But, I mean, you know, the Japanese are into

little white panties and stuff. And, I mean, is there a national kind of sexual fetish? I guess Americans are into

big boobs. Big, big boobs. And lately butts a little more, yeah. Butts. Yeah, that's tough. But

one of the things they love is western influence. Women are getting plastic surgery to make their eyes

round. I saw that. They're getting plastic surgery to make the bridge of their nose higher.

In America, when we get a nose job, it's to do just the opposite. Right. We want it to be shorter and nice and little. What, do they want to have a broken nose?

Yeah. They want to get their jaw made more square. So to them, western things, western brands,

women who dress and look like westerners are very, very sexy. They're also in love with sex toys. Now they sell like mad.

There was just an article in one of the big Beijing newspapers a few weeks ago about the rising number of men going into

hospitals with dildos stuck up inside of them. Oh, wow. They're experimenting. Rising is a good word for that. Rising.

The gentle rising of the dildo inside of you. But on the other hand, they're still very traditional. And the

men like their women, most men like their women to be rather demure to play the weaker role to be dominated.

And that really goes back all the way 5,000 years ago. And they've got a ways to go before the women's equal.

Right. Well, that's why Zhang left when she was eight years old, right? Couldn't take that. Yes, to be equal. Yeah. And now she's become a dom.

Ooh. You see. So, what do you guys think is the big difference

between like I've dated many guys that for some reason, like they think I'm a traditional Asian person and they think I'm going to be

demure and submissive and I smack that stereotype out of their heads right away. Yeah. Or like I can't

date guys with Asian fetishes anymore because they have a tendency to just assume I am a certain way. What is an Asian fetish? An Asian fetish is guys that

only go for just going for Asian girls. It's turned on just by Asian girls and low. And that's a big fetish

in and of itself, whether you're Chinese or anything. Asian porn is looked up more than any other porn. Right. Right. Because I think we're demure

and I'll play the part because that's what I do. I have a different view of that in China though. Yeah.

It seems like the women, especially once they're married or they have you in a long-term relationship, they start to wear

the pants in the relationship. Oh, Chinese. Or at least one of those little mouse suits. Right. Yeah. Well, I mean

I would think I just think that nature seeks a balance. There is the Yin and the Yang. Yeah. You know. Yeah.

And sometimes women I guess, you know, because they know that the men want a demure woman, will

act demure until they get married. And don't we do that here in America too? I don't. Well, some of us don't. That's true. Some of us

lay our cards on the table. But then again you know, this is the womb room, baby. So I think

we've got some outgoing women here. Some sexually unafraid women in here. Majority rules. But speaking of majority

you know, I mean there are so many men in China now. So many like males because of this one child policy

and you know, all these Chinese people who think that, I mean I don't want to say well, they think women are inferior

but maybe they do. I mean they don't want to have daughters. They want to have sons. Or at least in the past when they had this one child policy, they didn't

want to have daughters. They wanted to have sons. So they have all these sons and now what is this statistics? It's a mess. By

2020 there's going to be 24 million surplus men. That's the size of a big country

in Europe. These men who will never have a wife their only alternative is to have a sex life is to buy prostitutes or maybe

turn to homosexuality. That's one of the theories that's going to happen. And nothing wrong with any of that in our opinion but you know, I mean it would be nice

to be able to get a girl. We're out of women. Let's go for a guy. Well you know, people do that. I mean that is sometimes

So you're saying the prostitution industry is going to boom in 2020? It really might. Zhang might go back. No. That also

means VD is going to boom. It's got all these terrible implications for Chinese society. Yeah. And I don't know if it's really a good

thing for women. Because I mean ultimately there's women are in demand but women get kidnapped and stuff

and taken to these weird places because women are so in demand. It's like you know, you know, I mean you can get ganged up on and

I don't know. Oh yeah. Well, no, no, no. I mean it is hot to fantasize about and if it's all

consensual it's hot. I agree. I love it. It's the non consensual part that's a little worrisome. So what do we got here? These

don't look Chinese. They look kind of Balinese but it rhymes with Chinese so that's cool. Yeah. Oh little Balinese things here.

So did you want to play with my snake? Oh, that's all right. Oh, I thought you like snake. I'm enjoying watching him. Oh,

her. She says as a female. Right. Okay. Well, I'm probably going to like put her away soon. Oh, you want to hold her? Don't let her go.

No. I had a python for like seven eight years. Don't put it by me. She moves a lot faster than a python. I don't know if you should. Well, okay.

A little bit because I don't want you scaring your girl like that. Yeah. So you're the snake. What does that mean? Snakes are very

sexy. Are they in western culture? They're scary but they're sexy. Are they sexy in Chinese culture? I actually don't know that answer.

I say yes. Victor will know. I don't know. It wasn't in the Bible.

Jesus was seduced by a snake. Serpent. Serpent. I mean, yeah, I mean, that's western though. But yeah, we certainly

think of the snake. It's not just Jesus. It's Adam in the Garden of Eden. But you know, that's okay. You were brought up with

were you brought up with Confucius or what? I was brought up with capitalism. Capitalism.

My family wanted to make more money in the U.S. than in China. And they had very liberal views. A lot of my family members

were academics. So during the time of the revolution, a lot of them were imprisoned because of their intellectual abilities.

Oh, wow. You know, I actually think that China was one of the great capitalist countries of the world. They've been sailing to seas and dealing

with wheeling and dealing for centuries. For capitalists, I have no empathy for capitalists. I'm a communist in essence.

But you're right in that respect. China is so capitalist. It's amazing. I don't see any communist about this country.

It might not be democratic, but it's capitalist. Very. So, you know, I mean, people are making money. And that's why there are prostitutes.

These people sailed around the world. I mean, they actually mapped probably what Christopher Columbus used to find a new world.

And they're the ones that invented the noodles. Long before Christopher Columbus. Marco Polo. Who invented those noodles? Was it Marco Polo or the Chinese?

What, the maps? Or the noodles? The Italians invented noodles. Don't listen. Don't listen to no Chinese people.

Well, if there's a fight between the Italians and the Chinese as to who invented the noodles and whether Marco Polo brought the noodles

to China or whether Marco brought the noodles from China to Italy. Which noodles are we talking about now?

I keep thinking of chow mein. Yeah, well, that is Chinese. Is that Chinese? But then eventually it became spaghetti

over in Italy. Unless you want to defend your country, Max. You know,

it's all very strange. But we had a lot of the noodles also, but probably the Chinese

invented it. Thank you, Max. Probably. Yes. So, Chinese girls. You like them?

Victor? Richard? Oh, yeah. Yeah, Victor. He's over there, right? What do you think he's doing at night?

Fucking Western girls? I mean, I know you've got some Chinese blood. Where were you born? Like, Hawaii or something? Me? Yeah, I was born in Hawaii,

but all my grandparents are from China. So, and they actually fled Well, on my mother's side, they fled

during the Communist Revolution. And on that side of the family, they lost a lot of family members as well because they were rather bourgeois.

And then on my father's side of the family, they left because of economic circumstances and they fled to Korea and then

to Hawaii. So, Chinese women like foreign men is what your books is.

Many of them do. Many of them love to date foreign men because it means financial security. It might mean

US citizenship, a ticket to a better life. A lot of them are seriously just very sincerely attracted to them,

but that's still probably a minority less than 10 percent of Chinese women. The odd thing is

Western women in China have a very hard time finding a Chinese man who will date them because they're intimidated by

Western women who might have a higher level of education or come from a wealthier family. The Chinese men are so uptight if you put them in a room with foreign women,

they'll tend to stand together at the other side of the room. Wow. But these Chinese women are all trying to look like foreign women.

True. Where's that going to go? I don't know. What do you think, Victor?

Are you more with the Chinese guys? You don't like foreign women so much now? No, I love foreign women. I didn't start dating Chinese girls

until I moved to China. That being said, I currently have a Chinese girlfriend. Do you have sex with her?

Yes. I know you had to hesitate and I was afraid you would get cut off at that. Okay, you have sex with her

and you're not married, right? She's a girlfriend, right? So there is premarital sex. Are you going to get married?

Well, it's a bit early to how I've only been with her for about three months. Wow. And already having sex.

So, you know, Chinese do this. You know, they... Well, somebody's having sex in China. There's billions of them.

The myth is that they only do it in marriage. Yeah, that's the myth. That's the myth now. That's the ideal versus the real, you know?

They do it in a brief way. Ah, yes. Well... Very liberal about sex.

Do her... Say that again? They're very liberal about sex. At least the girls I've met.

And do her parents know that she's having sex with you? Probably not. Well, now they do.

It's okay. I mean, but you might get kind of a little bit, you know, nudged towards marriage now.

Your grandparents would probably like that, right? You know, she's already... Listen to me, I sound like an old Chinese bitty trying to get him married.

You know, I mean, hey, it's a sexual revolution now in China. It's not just like ours, but it does exist. Very different.

By the way, Dr. Suzie, we have a nice Muslim man on the phone. Right. So, you know, we're halfway through the show. Yeah, so let's talk...

MTRs is on there. We're going to put you on hold for a second, Richard. Richard's right here. Oh, no, Richard's right there.

Victor. Victor. It's been great talking to you. I don't know if you can hang out on hold. Yeah.

Oh, you will hang out. Okay, so we're going to put you on hold and we're going to talk to MTRs. MTRs.

Hello, MTRs. Ni Hao. Hi, MTRs. How did you know what I was saying? Hey, MTRs.

I heard Susan speaking in Mandarin. Oh, you knew Mandarin? Wow. Have you been to China?

Yes, twice. And what do you think of Sex in China? Yes, yes. Did you go behind the red door for real?

Yes. And actually, speaking of Jane Hamilton, aka Veronica Hart, there's going to be a whole

They're all going to China. of people from the Erotic Heritage Museum which you visited at ABN last week.

And they're all going to China. Dr. Ted McElvain and Kiwi and I don't know, a bunch of them.

I think Dorian is going, the curator. And I'm not sure what they're going to do. They have sex toys. I know what they're going to do.

They're going to do what they did in the motor home. They're going to have sex. Oh, is that like a euphemism

for sex? Whoops. That was the Chinese government just sort of interfering

with our broadcast. Sorry about that. Yeah, go on. These sex salons, which are called beauty salons and of course sex makes you beautiful

and orgasm a day keeps the wrinkle cream away. And so they're ordering a bunch of sex toys that are probably made in China

that Dr. Ted is getting them. It's a very circuitous route. Something like that? Yeah, and also they're ordering

sex butter. Oh, I bet they like that. Right, right. They are.

We're hearing about that. It is, but at one point that I want to make, Chinese are still obsessed with virginity.

Even though 50 to 60% of them are having premarital sex, the men, the stupid men still want

their wives to be virgin. So they want their girlfriends to screw around with them. Then they expect the woman they marry

to be a virgin. So every year you have tens, if not hundreds of thousands of women getting restorative surgery

to restore their hymens. Ouch, how do you do that? It's a very simple, it's like a 20 minute operation. It costs between $400

and $700. All the hospitals in China do it. And your other alternatives... Lucky and Zhang don't look like they want to do it.

Somehow, they're both furrowing their brows like, oh, I don't think I want to get this over with. You feel like a needle, a thread, and a maraschino cherry, and boom, you're done?

Okay, good. Or you can buy an artificial hymen online or in one of the sex shops. I love the cherry inside here.

That'd be very funny. Instead of the blood, hey, honey, pop my cherry. It's so sexist, it's so unfair

to women, it's terrible. There's so much unfair to women. You've got to point there, India's, there's a lot of tribal patriarchy

all over the world that are just, you know, getting their yayas by keeping women under foot. Yeah.

So these women don't demand proof of virginity on men, part of the guys? That's the unfairness. The guys can boast about having sex,

they can do what they want. It's a male-centric society women, second-class citizens. In the old days, all the marriages were arranged.

You'd only meet your wedding, your partner that night. So Chinese men have gotten this custom of deflowering, they'd be the first

man ever to sleep with that woman. That is so joyous. Yes, we are deflowering. It's in their culture.

Well, it's unfortunate, but at the same time it is changing. We just talked to Victor about that. He's there.

He was born in Hawaii, but his, you know, grandparent. I mean, I'm sure there's just a lot of people like him who are there,

who might have some Chinese part to them, and they're influencing the culture. They are. And opening it up.

So, MTAs, you were at AVN last week, right? Of course.

I'm big everywhere except China. You know. I'm about to break down the Great Firewall.

You know, one way or the other. Yeah, so you met a lot of people. And of course,

yeah, I mean, did you have a good time? Did you go to any orgies? Yeah, that's the way they do it in Vegas so that you will spend money on their

machines somewhere. You'll stop. And you had me on your name tag. But let me ask you, I mean,

aside from the crowds and everything, I mean, we're talking about culture and sex. You know, what was it like for a somewhat moderately

devout Muslim man to attend a porn star conference? And they're listening right now.

We were there. And to me, it was not a negative experience last time. All right, well, thank you for your report. And Lucky was there, too.

Did you see Lucky? Both of us were there. Yeah, you were there. Did you have a good time? Great time, yeah. Did you go to an orgie? No, I didn't. We went to the tribe party. We did, yeah.

We went to the tribe party. Oh my gosh, that was interesting. Was it, was it an orgie? Well, I mean, it could be if you wanted to be. In certain rooms, yeah.

It was like all over different rooms. It's what you wanted to be. You could just sit back and watch. You could participate if you wanted to. Well, those are the best kinds of orgies. You don't want to have it like imperative

that you participate. Right. I mean, that's kind of, you know, I had a nomination. Hey, hey, what were you nominated for?

Best non-Gonzo scene. It was with Sophie and Christian for Seymour Butts. Wow, good for you.

But I didn't go. And you, of course, have an award-winning butt. Yeah, but you won a Dr. Suzy.TV award. Yes. You did, which is, of course, much more prestigious

than anything. Oscars, AVNs, Emmys, forget it. Dr. Suzy.TV, you got Best Blowjob, I think.

I forget exactly what it was, but... I think it was Longest Marathon. Oh, yeah. Something like that. Something like Eight Hours.

It was an Andy Warhol blowjob this was. This was great. Literally hours upon hours. Right.

And it was effective, because then, of course, your boyfriend won the best male ejaculation. Exactly.

You must have killer jaw muscles. Oh, you know, the next... They didn't hurt that night. It's like the next day. All right, we're having porn star talk now.

This is all being censored in Beijing. I won an ex-biz award a couple weeks ago. Yay! What'd you win?

Best scene in a couple's feature. And what'd you do for that? It was just a boy-girl scene. Was this with your boy?

No, with another male talent. I didn't know him at the time, actually. But it was just one of those romantic couple's features.

With Xander Corvus. Oh, we love Xander. So, Imtiaz. Well...

Are you going back to China anytime soon? I might go to Beijing sometime this year, yes. Well, first of all, you should hook up with Victor. Because, you know, if you like AVNs,

wait till you go to his club in Beijing. No, it's probably a really nice place. But, you know, you can meet some hot Chinese women there.

And you should read this book behind the red door. Yeah, I just found out of you. Yeah, well, I appreciate that. You know, this is a homework.

This is school. Okay? This is the College of Carnal Knowledge. You know, and we learn about all

aspects of sex here on the show. So, thanks, Imtiaz. I hope we see you next week when we go to the Zephyr.

We're going to go to the Zephyr next week, by the way, if you're listening to us live. And we're going to broadcast live from Deep Throat Sex Scandal,

the play. Okay, there's a play about Deep Throat. It's very kind of political and, you know, historical.

And our friends are in it, you know, so we're excited, including, of course, Jane Hamilton. So, we're excited to go there.

And if you want to join us, just call up to Zephyr Theater in West Hollywood. And we will be there with all kinds of interesting people

like Bruce Valanche. If they say lovely. Oh, lovelace. Right.

The password is lovelace, okay. Okay, so there'll be all kinds of people doing that now. Millions.

All 1.5 billion Chinese are going to call up and say, love, love race, no. That's a terrible thing for me to say.

The only reason I said that, okay, okay, wait a second. I said it because today Richard tweeted that he was going on the Dr. Susan Brock

show, so I thought I could say. I'm sorry. Yeah, that's right. Okay. It's okay, Dr. Susan. I blame him.

It's okay, I still rike you. She likes you a lot. And I want to schwa you.

I know. I don't know. Okay, MTS, we'll talk to you later. Peace through pleasure.

In every country, gosh, MTS and I are going back and forth about all these terrors happening in Muslim lands.

So, you know, we got to do a lot of slut walks all over the world, right?

And there goes the phone. Okay, so yeah, Victor can come back. Okay, so fortune cookies are not

Chinese, but we have them anyway, so you should open up your fortunes. And we also have these Chinese aphrodisiacs

that were introduced to me by Dr. Mel Gordon, Professor Mel Gordon, who wrote a book

actually about Weimar Berlin, but somehow he has these Chinese aphrodisiacs. And he first told me

that they are made of dog, dick, antelope, dick, and deer dick,

which, you know, I was a little bit like, no. I mean, but I believed him and then they had a pretty strong effect and we'll let people try them

here. But Is there a tradition on how to eat and open the... Yeah, I mean, I think you can do that

anyway. These though, yeah, you can't eat the whole box. You've got to open the box. These are really cute little boxes, though. Now, it does taste a little like dog dick.

I want to just warn you, although these are say, oh gosh, what are these?

Sapien, I think. Sapien. And anyway, when we went to the Chinese pharmacy, they said that they were

herbs. But in your book, you say they really are some dog dick, antelope dick things. They are. Their thought is if you're having

erection problems, you eat penis. If you're having muscle problem, you eat beef tendons. So whatever the problem is,

the corresponding animal part will heal that problem. Yes. Would you like to heal your animal part? I'll look at it

right. Susie, I'm just imagining there's a dog and antelope walking around without dicks. Uh-huh. Or do they have to kill them and then get their dicks?

Well, I, you know, I mean, there's a lot of killing that goes on in China just to eat lunch. So I guess they, you know,

it's sad, but I don't know, it's too easy to be a vegetarian in China. Especially if you want your dick to work. Balls

or something. There are little balls. Now what you do is you pop that ball, right? See, this is very Chinese. They hold up their balls. Okay.

So you take, take out the ball. Take out the ball? Take out the ball. And, uh, yep, and pop it open.

Just kind of squeeze it, squeeze it. I'm afraid. Okay, don't eat that. Yeah. It's not like it's, yeah, okay.

I don't get it. It's not, it's, it's really hard. It's a job rigger. Put it in your mouth. Put it in your mouth. Put it in your mouth. You heard her.

She's, yeah, she's very aggressive. Yeah. Okay. Here you want me to do this for you, I think. Uh-huh.

Do we need to let her get a hammer? Got one of these things. It's a dinosaur egg. Now you can, there is a way to do this.

That's easy. Did you do yours? Mine was already open. Somebody ate mine. Oh, yours, yours is open. Oh, here we go. Okay. Here, here it is.

There. See? This is the product. Now you do eat this stuff here.

Okay. Okay. It's like inside like a little bag or something. Yeah, it's, it's like this. And you can eat this little piece here.

You want to, you want to, you want to eat the whole thing? And then you might want to take a bite. Is it safe? It's, it's totally safe. Dog dick, antelope dick? What's, what's unsafe about that?

Very organic. It's Chinese. These people lived to, you know, a billion. Okay? I mean.

Fortune said there's gold in my future, so. All right. And it's an aphrodisiac, by the way. I'm just warning you. This is a Chinese aphrodisiac.

And these are poop? Um, no. It's not poop. No, no. They don't need poop.

That would be bad for you. It looks like rabbit fur. I mean, I know dog, yeah, it does look a little like poop. And it, it kind of tastes like dirt. Should I eat?

But, uh, just, you know, just eat it. Just take a bite. Yeah. It's a little, it's, it's like chocolate dirt

is what it tastes like to me. So it's like, it's like dried up dick. Something like that. It's a dick jerky.

Dick jerky. That's a good one. Is it, you see? Did you get the whole thing in there?

You just had a bite. Right? Okay. Oh, you took three bites. Oh, you're eating it like this.

Mmm. But you should eat it like that. This kind of makes it a little bit more. Yeah, it does look a little like poop. Um, but it's not.

It's not. They wouldn't, they wouldn't sell poop, right? It's supposed to swallow it, the whole thing? Yeah. Like the paper and all.

You, you are supposed to swallow the paper. That's some fear factor stuff right there. Right, right. You want to try it? Oh gosh, no.

I'll look at it for educational purposes. No, you said you try everything for educational purposes. I didn't say everything. Would you like to try it?

I ain't that. No. He won't even have regular Chinese food. No, you don't taste it unless you chew for a long time. Mmm.

Swallow it, swallow it before. Mmm. Well, it's very gritty. I mean, did you try it? I'll try one. Try one.

They're strong. They are. How do you know which animal you're getting? I think it's a combo. Let's get like an app.

I'll look at it. Yeah, you could look at it. It's not bad. I broke the ice.

Actually, I think it's kind of good. It's like Chinese. Well, I don't know if it tastes Chinese. It tastes chocolatey with like, do you want to try some?

It tastes like a Chinese herb shop. No? You had some. I got a black licorice at first and then it got dull, dull, dull.

It's a little shocking to the system, but now you've adjusted. Now I just left over my teeth. Oh, yummy.

I almost wish you had fed them to me and then told me what it was afterwards because then I probably would have eaten it. Oh, really? I don't think I was fully there. What was that again?

Dog, dick. Okay, penis. Let's see if that gets us through the sensors. Dog, penis, antelope, penis, and deer penis

mixed together to create some kind of... aphrodisiac.

I guess, you know, yeah, Chinese feel that if you've got trouble with your dick, you eat the dick of an animal, and then you'll, you know,

have an animal dick. I don't have a dick. I hope I don't have it. So girls, I have mums with a vajayjay.

Do they eat vajayjay? You know, Professor? I just don't know.

No, you don't know about that. I mean, there's a lot of herbs. They do have, like, huge amounts of herbs, and a lot of them are

for sexual things. I mean, they've got herbs for everything. So, you know... I'm Filipino. We're not that...

Oh! We're not that... I don't know. Well, your grandmother's... great-grandmother or something.

Something like that. All right, so, you know, I think I need my producer here.

Right? Because, okay, here we go. Do you do this? You should try some dog dick.

Do people do the praying thing? No, they don't do this anymore. They shake hands, actually, like Westerners? Yeah, really. But no kissing in public.

No, really. Rare. Yeah, my girlfriend doesn't like PDA. Oh!

I don't think anybody likes PDA. It's very shameful. I like it. You like it.

Well, that's because you're a Filipino. We have no shame. Well, a little bit like that. I mean, I don't know.

I hate to stereotype. We're all children of sex. We all are similar, especially in the melting pot of America.

But, we are talking about sex in China and we are identifying certain cultural things. So, yeah,

Filipinas are very sexual. We are extremely sexual. Into nursing and sex. And Catholicism.

Porn's illegal in the Philippines, too. But, man, you get a Filipino behind closed doors. The sheets are in the air, man. Oh, yeah. I don't even know if you have to close the door.

No. Just as long as your mom is not nowhere. Oh, yeah, the mom. I don't want my mom married.

My mom doesn't know what I do for a living. Oh, really? Wow. Is that the one related to the Chinese grandmother? Does she live in where she lives?

She lives in Chicago. I have a question for Richard. Yeah. How does the fact that there is typically no religion

in China affect the mentalities of the Chinese population when it comes to sex? I think it's a wonderful thing.

Religion has made us so close-minded and looking on things as sins. Moralistic. Moralistic. And the Chinese aren't like that.

Their attitudes towards gays, for example. It's a taboo subject. They're not that comfortable with it. But there are some symbolic gay marriages

being held. And crowds of people will come and cheer them on. And the newspapers will splash photos of the men

in a passionate embrace. They don't have that religious... There's no such thing as gay bashing. They might not feel comfortable if someone's gay

in their immediate family. But they're tolerant enough. Their attitude kind of is let people do their own thing.

There's no religious stigma about it. So I think their attitudes towards sex are in some ways healthier than ours. It's those hats.

Yeah. Well, in some ways they are because they don't have these victims that say, you're going to go to hell if you do this.

That I think is kind of poisonous. Although it seems to do the Philippines some good. Yep. I mean, that's the funny thing about sex.

Sex is about friction. So sometimes when something is forbidden, that makes it more exciting. That is the crazy thing about sex.

You know? And I mean, I'm all for opening up all the channels. I'm all for freedom. Not so much to turn us on more,

because the turn on often has to do with things being forbidden. But just because I believe in freedom. You know?

And also this Chinese aphrodisiac is starting to affect me. I like to ask the author a question.

There's no question. Did you have really good sex in China while you lived there? Notice how she framed that.

She's assuming you had some. Put me on the spot. You don't have to answer. Yes, he does.

You asked him, did he have really good sex? Really good sex. I was in greater China for eight years. He had sex.

Yes. Once or twice. Once or twice? In a day.

Right. But you know what? If you fuck any girl hard enough, she can look Chinese, because she'll be like,

I'm glad you said that. Sorry, I had to go there. Oh, wow. You know, I tried to make my eyes look like that.

I mean, I think that the Chinese look is just it's so, it's like, let's just say that it's the most

it's the cutest look. It's like, it's like, every Chinese looks like a child in a way. Happy and peaceful kind of.

You know, us Caucasians or whatever. We look mean. Yeah.

Yeah, we don't have this. I don't know. I guess we all are jealous that we don't have and that's where the plastic surgery business comes in.

There you go. And then they're fake. Well, you know,

Papi, have you ever been to China? You go to China every year. Papi, say something about,

you know what, I got to get my hot chicks up on the stage and if you feel you're a hot chick, please come up on the stage or I will select you.

And, you know, a guy could also come up a hot guy. Hotness. Hotness on the stage.

We also have more palatable aphrodisiacs. So Papi and Tom should get on because you guys are,

you've been to China. Yeah. Yeah. Papi's going to sit there.

Yeah. Oh, and as a matter of fact, Tom, not only went to China, look at this.

Okay. I need a close up here. Close up. Here we go.

Here I am at the Great Wall with Tom. Okay. I thought of Dr. Susie while on the Great Wall. He did.

He had a little sign there for her. Let me come up here. It says, hi, Dr. Susie. It does.

Actually, he spelled it wrong to begin with. But that's the wonders of Photoshop. The miracles of Photoshop. Yeah.

So did you have sex in China? I did inadvertently, yes. Indinvertently? Yeah. You were raped.

Well, what happened was I was in this desert city of Turpan and it was about three in the afternoon and I was by myself

I just finished riding around on the camels in the desert. And I asked for a massage. Wow.

But I just thought it was like, you know, it was like a really swank hotel. So I thought it was like I've heard Chinese massages really good. So I thought it was just going to be a regular massage.

It was really good, I guess. It was really good, but it had an unexpected ending. Happy. Right.

And then she hit me up for 300 bucks. Hey. That makes her happy. And I said, sorry, I only got 30

and she seemed happy with that. She was happy. Okay, well, that's happy. And for 30 bucks you can't beat, you know, Chinese massage was well worth it every time.

Right. So speaking of massages, right now if you're watching live you are seeing

our lovely one 16th Filipina porn star, Lucky Star is now riding the Sybian

speaking. Yeah, last time I wrote a Sybian I was here. I just hopped right on again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Could you explain what that is for those who don't know?

Oh, a Sybian is a big massive vibrator that you ride. Oh, like a saddle. Yeah, it's kind of like a saddle that vibrates.

You can come up here too if you like. Oh, very sweet. Mystery of life. And last I found you. Oh my God. Holy fuck. Yeah, yeah.

It's strong stuff. Yeah. Yeah. That's a loud mic. Yeah, I'm shy.

I'm free to have an orgasm. You're not shy. The thing is I can control. Oh my God. Holy shit.

You're controlling the speed there. So you're bringing it way up there. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm not sure whether this is made in China, the Sybian but I wouldn't be surprised. I just hopped on because it just seemed natural. No, it does seem natural but you know what would be

even more natural if you took your dress off. Oh, okay. And here she goes. This is

stripping off the Chinese style dress to reveal a lovely bronze panty ensemble.

And, yeah, black bronze panty ensemble. Here, Lucky Star is riding the Sybian. There we go. Just to relax herself.

She was nervous to begin with. I had a nervous guess. People get nervous here. I don't know what they get nervous about.

They get nervous. Find the happy place. I can hold this. That reminds me of happy endings.

Someone say sexy thoughts. I need to take my bra off. I'm so embarrassed. I have no boobies. You have beautiful boobies.

They're very Chinese. Show her yours so she feels comfortable. Underneath the heart of the ocean. Right.

Beautiful. This is actually what I understand. America is influencing everybody so that everybody around the world

thinks that big boobs are the best. But, you know, Chinese, I believe, tradition

is that smaller boobs are very attractive and in fact more desirable. I agree with that.

Well, there you go. See you're Chinese. I'm Chinese. Actually, centuries ago there was this war,

I don't remember the names or anything, but the Italian soldiers, of course, ran away because they had to fight Italians, you know. So they ran away

and they ran to China. Oh, my God. There you go. Here she goes. Lucky star. Riding the Sybian.

All the way to China. Right into China. Break down that wall. Stephanie.

Yeah. Amen and amen women. Can we have a hand, brothers and sisters? Beautiful.

Yeah, that's beautiful. Your turn. Oh, my gosh. There she is.

All right. That was beautiful. I think I hate them. Yeah.

That was an interesting interlude. We didn't mean to interrupt you, Tom. Oh, no, that's okay. Or maybe we did.

That's a lot better reaction than I received when I was over there. I'll tell you that. What she did. Because I got it.

And I just said, oh, this is not going to work here. When you rode the Sybian or when you were in China? When I was in China. Oh, when you were in China.

What did you do in China? Well, the funny thing about it is I met a guy on my tour bus who happened to be in the government

and he invited me over to China in 2006 and I've been going on over there every year since then. Well, the first two years

that I went over there, I was introduced to a lady that the politicians happened to have their own little private club

and they just said go home with him. She went home with me and it didn't go anywhere.

It didn't go anywhere. That's your fault. Well, I don't think it was my fault. It was just the reaction of it.

I wasn't accustomed to the reaction. The reaction when they saw how big you are. Yeah, well, just It made me laugh more

so than anything. Obviously you've never seen Hentai. Yeah. Wow.

Wow. Do you know what they're talking about? Hentai is Japanese animated porn. Japanese.

I thought it was a kind of porn but I didn't think it was. Is there a Chinese animated porn? No.

Do they think that... There's a lot of Chinese but there is actually a lot of Chinese

erotic art. It's from centuries ago. Yeah, from centuries. But even now modern

Chinese artists who are making really incredible art I found a site

with 3,500 pages of pornography from all over the world and much of it is from China.

You won't see it for sale in China? No, it's not for sale in China. It's the ancient stuff and stuff that was being made

during our dark ages. Modern stuff? Yes. And as Victor pointed out

the elite in any country have privileges that the peasants don't and that's the way it is. See, the thing is when we hear about this

we always fancy that if we lived in China we'd be the elite but we don't know because there's 1.5 billion people there

and we're elite when we go over there as foreigners. It's sort of an elite, I guess. You could be a 1 in a million person

and still there's a thousand of you. Right. There's a thousand Susies in China? How many millionaires are there in China?

I think I'll go lots. There's a lot. Yeah, there's about 150 million

millionaires in China. 150 million? Yeah, you're talking about billions of people.

No, absolutely. Look it up. No, no, no, look it up. It's the miracle.

It's the miracle of the Chinese Revolution. They have brought never in the history of humankind

never in the history of humankind has a government uplifted millions and millions of people out of poverty.

If we could do that we'd be one of the great nations in the world. Well, we are one of the great nations in the world.

There's also their definition of middle class is different than our definition of middle class, I think. What's their definition?

Well, we have a much more materially wealthy sense of middle class. The houses are much bigger, cars.

Yeah, that's the middle, that's the peasants. We don't want to have a lot of millionaires. We've got to have a lot of peasants to become millionaires

and billionaires. And you've got to tell a lot of lies to the peasants in order to get money from them so that you can become

a billionaire. They have little work dorms that they live in. If you could have the same wages

that they pay there employed. Listen, I can work cheaper than any Chinese kid.

I work here 24 hours a day and maybe make a couple of cents an hour. Literally, literally.

And that's why I actually exist. I'm getting sort of funny because there is static everywhere. Yeah, it sounds really weird.

You're hearing the static? You're getting static? Anyway, go ahead. I'm just defending my Chinese friends.

Thank you, Matt. All right, well, so are those Chinese aphrodisiacs taking a...whoops. Do you remember I brought you a condom

made of seaweed when I came back from China? I ate the whole thing. I still don't feel anything. I think that's the essence of the condom broke.

Seaweed? Yeah, it was supposedly made of seaweed, yeah. Well, I guess that's for having your one child.

I guess not. Sex and a hot tub or something. He must have ate a lot of the aphrodisiac. He's holding a snake.

Oh, yeah, you still got the snake. Well, okay, now I understand that not everyone

wants to have the Chinese aphrodisiac. And because we are almost out of time here, I think it's time for the

Western aphrodisiac. Which one? Agua cocolif liquor. Yes.

Nectar. So you think we should have your guy come up here for this? He doesn't drink unless you want to try it. Well,

oh, you don't have to drink, actually. All you have to do is lick salt off your nipples. Oh, I did it last time. I highly recommend it.

I mean, you can drink. It's a body shot. A body shot off the boobs. Just come up and lick my nipple, please.

With the snake. Aw, that's so sweet. With the snake. Now, is this going to scare you?

We should maybe put the snake away for a moment. I don't want you to get all weirded out. Who's going to put the snake away?

Where's Brock Hardt? Where's Brock Hardt? Let's see, where is... Okay, do you know how to do this?

Vanessa is putting away the snake. And be sure to lock the cage, okay? It's the year of the snake

coming up on the year of the snake. It's actually been the year of the dragon. When is Chinese New Year's this year? Like soon.

February 10th. All right, so here we go. Been to many of those. Yeah.

Okay, so now you get one. Okay. And what are you going to lick off of? Her nipples.

Here we go. And here's yours. You get one. And yeah, here we go.

Okay. And these are beautiful breasts in the Chinese fashion. I mean, I'm assuming.

I didn't hear that the Chinese have any kind of particular fetish. But I think we're going to...

What about piercings? Is it getting piercings in China? Young people are. What about the bagel head saline injection?

I heard that was something. The bagel head saline injection. What about the tram stamp

at the bottom of the back there? Do they get tattoos? Yeah, young people. All right, and she is now...

This is our ritual. I like the Chinese music to go with the ritual licking of the salt. So I like the salt and I take a shot, right?

Yeah, you like the salt. Shouldn't you be using soy sauce? This is Agua Coco Leaf, the fur. And massage the feet, too.

Right. Massage the feet. All the foot massages over there. They're very good.

Even if you don't have bounds. I see little green monsters. What ever Dijak is that, in particular?

That's the dog dick. I think it's the dog dick mixed with the Agua Coco Leaf, the curve.

Oh! Woo! Okay. Is she licking me?

I think she's licking you. Here we go. Really? Sweet and sour sauce.

I think you should really. We should. I neglected that. I have the margarita sauce here.

Soy sauce on titties, though. I don't know if that would be so good. No, no, no. I think I'm going to stick with the margarita salt.

I remember your foot fetish party. We did a lot of sucking salt off the toes. We did. None of these were bound feet.

I'm not into bound feet, but sometimes I read about this bound feet fetish that the Chinese used to have.

I think it could have been sexy. It's just the problem is walking. You can't walk. But the way they would massage them

and kind of... They have a great foot massage. You got a foot massage. Yes, every day that I was there.

Every day. They have shops that are along the street. Now, what kind of massage? That's not shiatsu, that's Japanese.

More acupressure. Acupressure, I love that. And it will put you to sleep. And it makes you scream.

You're having an orgasm, but you're really just getting your foot rubbed. Right. Here goes the boyfriend.

Don't you think he should take his... He took the salt. He thought I said shot. No, no, you shouldn't be drinking.

You're the one that doesn't drink. He tried it for education purposes. For educational purposes. Now that I don't drink,

it's just a lot of taste for alcohol. Why did you do that? Or did you just get too drunk? I used to own a club.

And it was like party all the time. Party all the time. We don't do it all the time. I can't tell.

Is that static going on where everybody hears it? It seems like if I get near anybody, I can't do that.

I can't get near these people. I've got to have a great wall between me and them. Where is your shot?

Where is my shot? It's not full. Did you do it? No, no, I'm holding this. This I think was...

was luckiest. You have a Buddha penis. I do have a Buddha penis. This, by the way, is made by divine interventions.

And we did have... You remember Tom? Tom wrote a book, by the way, called What Do You Do With a Chocolate Jesus

An Irreverent History Of Christianity. And we... We had, in honor of that,

because it was around Christmas time, a divine interventions manger scene,

a nativity scene, which is actually right over there. And we have a baby Jesus butt plug and a mother Mary dildo

hovering over the baby Jesus butt plug as well as... You had a chocolate Jesus. And we had chocolate Jesus as well,

but we ate all of those. But anyway, divine interventions, in addition to making those, as well as the Jesus

jackhammer dildo, they make this Buddha dildo, which I think it would be a little large for most Chinese

vaginas, or even any size vagina. This is a big Buddha. You'll be coming back to it again

and again and again. It's like the end of cycles of life. Reincarnation. Yeah, you think it's nice?

Oh, what's going on back there? Oh, yeah. Oh, she's getting hit with a Chinese fan. A little spanking. Are they into spanking

and BDSM at all? You said yes. What is the sound of one-hand spanking? Actually, a large number of Chinese

accounts on FetLife. A large number of Chinese accounts on FetLife. FetLife.

But they don't allow FetLife. I'm sure. Oh, you go to any college and they will change your proxy

on there real quick. On your computer. Oh, well, okay then. All the kids over there know how to change your proxy.

Okay. You can get Facebook, you can get YouTube, you can get anything you want in China. And you're getting a spanking right here in LA.

I am. That's the name of this show, by the way. Ah, thank you, sir. Love in LA.

Are you guys in love? I don't know. Are we? That put us on the spot?

Oh, I don't know. I put everybody on the spot. You said the L word, uh. Uh. Hmm.

Well, where's your love? You're in love? Where's your guy? Okay. And you're laying down to...

No, no, you should lay down. Okay. Bennett's friend, Jen, used to work at Sam's

and will pole dance for closing. Well, we're getting towards closing. Where is Bennett's friend, Jen? Oh, hello, Bennett's friend, Jen.

Yeah, come on up here. Yeah, come on up. Let's have a little Chinese music for her to walk up to the, um,

the platform here. Wow, for once I'm not pole dancing. Yeah, well... Because it's usually me on that pole.

By the way, this is Speaking of Snakes. This is a special Thai whisk here, if you all want to have some. It's got two snakes in it.

You want to try this? No, no. You want to try this? All right. It's kind of terrible, but it's, uh, it's kind of interesting.

Okay, here she goes. This is Jen. And, uh, I think somehow Max thought this was Chinese. I'm not sure what.

Hmm. And she's got her... her malice boots. This is Jen here.

I think you need to take the shirt off. Yeah. Whoa. So nice.

Yeah. Right on the animal stick. You help... Take the shirt off.

Yeah, whoa. Here we go. We're in the room room. You don't want to step to the army.

Yeah, baby. Now you can take your bra off. We got Chinese. We got Korean.

We got it all, right? They don't have pole dancing in China. Do they? They're trying to dance in Poland?

Yeah. Got to get out of the way. Right. Brothers and sisters, let's hear it for Jen.

Thank you, sister Jen. All right. I'm sure you're just making all the circuits blow out in China

right now. Very good. And let's hear it for Sam's, because Jen apparently dances at Sam's, right?

Downstairs. Right? We love Sam's. Okay, so I have a...

This isn't really Chinese, but it's from... Where's it from? It's from Cal Exotics. It's probably made in China though.

But it's sold by Cal Exotics. It's Buddhist. Well, Buddhists are in China, right? But not really Tantric Buddhists, or are they?

Are they Tantric Buddhists in China? That's more Indian. It's more Indian and Nepalese, Tibetan.

The Chinese and the Tibetans have a little problem there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So in support of the Tibetans,

but we do support the Chinese as well. We support everybody. So who wants to put these on? What are they?

These are like Chinese handcuffs. No, they're not Chinese. They have red in them, so they're a little Chinese.

Red means happiness, right? And... What? They're handcuffs, basically.

Oh, handcuffs. They're very comfortable handcuffs. Oh, okay. Like satin hair comes in.

Very nice. Okay, so now, if you're watching us, you would be seeing Shea Golden

tying up... Yeah, Lucky Star. Yeah.

But I mean, she can get out of that really easy. I think she's got to tie it around like this. Something like that.

Anyway, she looks good like that, right? Yeah. I mean, there's a whole art of bondage,

but that's mainly Japanese, right? More Japanese, yeah. You know, the more I'm learning, I'm realizing how different Japanese culture

is from Chinese culture, which I think a lot of us Americans mix it up. And they don't like each other. There's a lot of animosity

from World War II. Right, still that. Yeah, yeah. Japanese have an attitude towards the Chinese

and vice versa. I don't want to get in the middle of that either. And don't even bring up the Koreans. Right, and the Tibetans.

The Japanese have offended a lot of people around them, geographically speaking. Right, we know a Japanese guy that's responsible for all that.

Yeah. All right, so now, I think we're just about out of time. And you're all tied up.

I am. Yeah, you look good like that. Right? You're not the first person to say that. So, right now, I want to have everybody

say a little farewell and where you can find your stuff. Hey, is Victor still there?

Hey, Victor. I'm still here. You know, we've been sort of getting orgiastic. So, we didn't forget

about you, though. Yeah, I'm using my imagination to imagine what's going on there. Oh, yeah. We've been having

Sybian rides and titty licking, and now we have a beautiful one-sixteenth Chinese

girl all tied up in Hal Exotics handcuffs. Lots of perfect skin. Yes, yes.

Beautiful. And there's a lot of red. We're lucky. Me, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a good thing.

Okay, so Victor, where can we find you? I mean, now we're going to kind of wind things up. Where do we find you on?

I mean, you're on Twitter. I know that. I'm on Twitter. I have a LinkedIn page and I have a website

victormu.com b-e-t-o-r-m-u-h.com Can people see your website in China? Yes, I think so.

Yeah, they can see my website. They can't see my Facebook page or anything like that. Right, right, right. They can't see anybody's Facebook page.

Yeah, I am DB, Facebook, and Twitter. They cannot see. Oh, and my YouTube page. I am DB, really? Okay, well, you know,

let's do this again sometime when we have our next Sex in China show. Yeah, I would love to help bring some other guests in as well.

Oh, all right, cool. I mean, bring them in on your side? On my side, yeah. Oh, okay, okay. That's cool. All right.

So, and I want to thank our author, Richard Burger, author of Behind the Red Door, Sex in China.

Thank you so much for joining us. This is a really good read, Brothers and Sisters. You got to read it.

I mean, if you're interested at all in China or sex. And where do we find it? You can buy the book on Amazon.

You can find me on Twitter at the Peking Duck, one word. The Peking Duck, you can find my blog, peekingduck.org

If you Google Peking Duck, I'm the number two hit on Google. Wow, Peking Duck. Rhymes with, I'm not going to say.

Okay, and Zhang. They'll just have to call here and ask for my information. Ask for Charlie, right?

Checkpoint Charlie. Okay, and who's got microphone here? You really are active,

even when you're all tied up. Just an active cutie pie, aren't you? Kind of like my life. This is Lucky Star. Hi.

Twitter.com slash club Lucky Star to ours. You must be my Lucky Star. Oh, yes.

You must be. You're adorable. You have a good city and ride tonight. I did. That was fun. Good. And now you got the boyfriend. I do.

Can you get his clothes off with your hands all tied up? I'll try. Yeah, you try. Okay. Give it a try. And while she's doing that,

let's hear from Shay and Brock. Okay, thank you for having us once again, always. And Lucky Star, supposedly

my fortune is gold is in my future. So, yeah. Anyways, you can reach me at

ShayGold and triple X7 on Twitter. Okay, yeah. I'm feeding you. And you can find me at BrockhartXXX on Twitter as well.

There you go. And who else is here? Oh, Tom. Yeah. Where do we find you? You can find my, what do you do with the

Chocolate Jesus book on Amazon? You can hear the audio book version on audible.com. And my website is trquin.com.

Okay. And Pappy, what do you got going? Oh, myself. You can find me at pappyandsunfetlife.com. Everybody's on the web.

Right. We are connected. We are. Okay. So, I just

want to tell you where you find the bonobos, though, because they are our mascots. The make love, not war chimpanzee. You know, it's funny, before I fell in love with bonobos,

I used to be a panda freak. And... You like pandas? Whoops, where's your mic? Gorillas.

Gorillas. You like gorillas? Now, it's bonobos. But pandas are the Chinese animal. One of the Chinese animals.

And the sad thing is about pandas, it's kind of tough to get them to have sex. Very. A little bit like Chinese, right?

Yes. But they're so cute. They are. Okay. And bonobos are cute, too.

And bonobos are closer to us than pandas. You know, they're 98 point something percent

genetically similar to humans. And they have a lot of sex. And they have never been seen killing each other in the wild

or captivity. So, they're really impressive. They're the make love, not war chimpanzee. They make peace through pleasure.

I'm writing a book about them called the bonobo way. Yep, yep, yep. You're going to have to read it. Absolutely.

I might have to make you read it, too. I will. You know about bonobos? Very little.

Okay, you got to learn. All right, I learned all about sex in China. Yeah, Tang Dynasty, baby. Yeah, that's when I want to live.

So bonobos, though, they show us the way of peace through pleasure. They show us that there can be a world without war and a world without too much shame about sex.

Right? Oh, yeah, here you go. They're doing a samurai sword. And they're highly endangered,

so we have to help them to survive they're native to the Congo. So make like bonobos, not baboons, right?

And if you're going to fight with swords, make sure they're plastic like these. Okay? Although I will say this.

You know, the Chinese kind of have it right, and I know Victor's gone now, I think, but he's really not... Oh, yeah, I know you love guns.

But I just want to say that, you know, we just had this big shooting here in Connecticut.

And at the same time, there was a guy that went in China and tried to... Cutting up kids.

But he couldn't kill enough. It was a knife. So that's a critical thing there, brothers and sisters. And it's why I believe we need

a little bit of gun control here. Even though I will be so crushed to have to give up my semi-automatic weapon. Whoa!

See, these girls are getting... These girls are getting violent. That's why I give them plastic stuff, because if I gave them guns,

they'd be hurting each other. This will hurt worse. All right. Oh, yeah.

Naughty, naughty. Wow. Yeah. Oh, I see you got your shirt off.

All right, and here's my husband. You're ending the show? I'm ending the show. Okay, so I'm a great Mao Zedong,

an anti-bush kind of guy, and I'm also a communist, basically. I live in the dorms here, you know? It's a more capitalist communism.

Just like China. It's a more capitalist communism, but... Don't say that to Beijing. Oh, no, no, no.

Absolutely not. You just be a communist. Don't worry about it. Just sail your ships with silk around the world and make panties for the rest of the world.

But I am a big supporter of the Chinese people, literally, and I have been, because Mao Zedong was one of the revolutionaries that touched my heart when I got his little red book

many, many years ago, and that man said, Revolution. And he killed a lot of people. We killed a lot of Indians.

It doesn't matter whether we kill one person or a million people. It's human lives that are lost. So I just want to say this.

I want to reach out and I want to say that we have to have peace and that we have to care and we have to give away material things because material things are things that enslave us

in our political views and our personal views and as human beings. We are destroying the world as capitalist.

China, listen to that too. We are destroying the world as capitalist. We need very few things in life. Very few things to be happy.

We have to get this pollution thing under control and I'm not talking about porn. Right. Anyway, I just want to say that

and I love what I do and I love to come into your homes. I don't have to break down the door. You actually invite me in.

Actually, you got to figure out how to see me if you're in China. Just like you have to figure out in America how you can watch Russian television

because you can't watch it here. Look at Lucky. She looks really scary now. Right. So we're talking about massive censorship by billionaires that have no interest

whatsoever in your life. You're just a peasant. God is blessed you. From my house to yours, thank you for having us.

Amen. Amen and amen. Can I have an oi, babe? Alright, so I think we've thanked

mostly everybody here that's been here and we're starting to get a little violent. So I just want to... We're going to wind up the formal part of the show

but we're going to have our after party. So we're going to keep filming so you all that are watching, if you're just listening,

you might want to pony up and watch right now. Because we've got this amazing butt of Shay Golden just being whacked

from all angles. Yeah. And you got to see this. That's all I can say. Nice to hear.

Right? Okay. So in the meantime, make like bonobos, not baboons, make friends

with the Chinese and with the Javanese and with the Iraqis and with the Afghanis

and with the Saudis and with the Pakistanis and with the French. And then the Hebrides.

Oh, I forgot about them. We got to make friends with the Aborigines. All of us have got to be friends now because it's global.

Because we're all in this together as, you know, for better or for worse, the guy who just became president again

said, we're all in this together and we're getting closer. We're all getting closer. This great land that was so mysterious

is opening up. Oh, you're bored. Take your top off then. You know, we're just without the...

You know. Okay. Yeah. Right. There you go. Ah, there she is. Okay.

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you're listening to Radio Suzy 1 on the World Wide Web. Thank you for watching. Thank you for watching.

Thank you for watching. Thank you for watching. Thank you for watching. Thank you for watching.

Thank you for watching.

Featuring:

Imtiaz Waris (1),

Jello Shots LA aka Bonoboville Jello Shots (4),

Categories: anal, Episodes, PhotosAdded: 10/23/13

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Sex in China, Love in LA

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