ZOOM DiCK BROOMSTiCK (Bedside Chat 24)

Full transcript of ZOOM DiCK BROOMSTiCK (Bedside Chat 24) on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

Need to talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else? You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves. But my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy over the phone.

Anytime you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination, my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you, role-play for you, fantasize with you, no fantasy is too taboo, and help you with anything from impotence to

exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. For more information call us at 213-291-9497. That's 213-291-9497 anytime you need to talk. You're listening to Radio Susie One on the World Wide Web, and now here she is, Dr. Susan Block.

Brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, artists and exhibitionists, voyeurs and cardisers, witches and bitches,

vamps and tramps, masked men of mystery, and role-playful women through history. Belladonna's and erotic personas, as nights grow long from the witches' hex,

let us enter the realm of scary sex. There, there darling, don't be afraid. Tis the season of masquerade.

So come all ye witches, ye dark brides and grooms. Tis the time to hop on your broom, fly past your fears, and over the years of oppression, repression, being burned at the stake, or stoned by the shake, or drowned in the lake.

Time to rise up, ye sexual renegades. Join the erotic insurgent masquerade. Woo!

Straddle your phallic strap-on flying brooms. Fly high in the sky to that wild domain where the witches reign as goddesses and

protestors, femdoms and love doctors. Time to put on your party mask as you keep along your daily mask.

Mmm. Time to reveal what you so often conceal, your erotic persona, your inner Belladonna, your secret identity, your scary sex entity, your evil twin, the wizard within.

Time to awaken, stirred, and shaken, your heart beating like a bongo, your blood rushing like the Congo. Maybe you meet someone who looks kind of scary.

A witch, a bitch, a cop, a fairy, went out of the clear with a flick of the tongue. Those shivers of fear turn to passion and

fun. See, mixing fear and sex creates special effects. See, what turns us on isn't always the nicest. So we're often afraid of just what excites us. Or are we excited by that

witch we fear? Both, my dear, it's biological, it's neurological, and it can be pathological. So be careful, consensual, practice safe sex, and

don't overdo. And stir this recipe into your witch's brew. Mmm. A pinch of fear.

Gets your mojo in gear, like heat in your mesquite, but too much burns the meat. So stick that in your bag of trick or treat. Don't get zoomed at confusion. Don't be a Jeffrey Tubin.

But this Halloween, or sometime soon, take a trip to the moon on your vibrating broom.

Join the erotic, insurgent masquerade. Don't be afraid.

Your inner witch won't hurt you. Unless you really want me to, boo. And happy Halloween, season's beatings.

From Boone O'Booville. It's my 24th bedside chat of the Corona Apocalypse. Inspired by FDR's fireside chats here to comfort, inform,

eroticize, and incite you to seize the day. In a bonobo way. Maybe in a kinky way, because it's kinktober.

Yes, indeed. Talk about kinky, scary sex, though. Mmm. As the Corona Apocalypse continues, the American death

count is rising over 224,000 and counting. Well, there's a new affliction in the land of the free to be foolish. And its name is

Zoom Dick. Yes, indeed, brothers and sisters. Forget blue balls, orange head.

Forget erectile dysfunction. Forget priapism, premature ejaculation, peewees, peepee, wiener briefs, peeping toms, and liar, liar, pants on fire.

Zoom Dick is America's number one penis problem. Yes, indeed. And that's the way it is right now. At least on Twitter, you know.

Just in case you've been looking at porn or cute pictures of Pomeranians or something instead of the news, well, allow me the honor of spilling it. Esteemed bestselling author, New York writer and CNN legal

analyst, Jeffrey Tubin was caught the other day with his pants down, literally. Yep, masturbating as so many of us do these days and really every day except most of us don't do it on a New Yorker

staff meeting Zoom call, which is what apparently Mr. Tubin was doing. I don't think too many of us wank on work calls, but then again, I don't know.

Maybe lots of folks are kind of savvy enough these days to kind of turn their cameras off and bop the bishop or polish the pearl while, you know, the team talks strategy. Yeah, Tubin was not that savvy.

No, no, no, no. Now the work call did involve electoral simulation. Which some have said poor Tubin misinterpreted as erectile simulation.

It's an honest mistake. Call it Tubin confusion or you could say it's a lawsuit stimulating case of sexual harassment, depending on your point of view.

Now the call, just so you know, set the scene. It involved several New Yorker luminaries role playing. See, right there, you know, it's kind of getting a little kinky, right?

But no, it wasn't sexual role play. It was political role play, you could say. And like, for instance, my Yale classmate, best selling author of Dark Money, Jane Mayer.

She was role playing establishment Republicans. And Jelani Cobb was role playing establishment Democrats. And Tubin, he was role playing the court. Okay.

So when everyone went into their respective rooms to conspire, Tubin, being the court, he, you know, he took a real break and went on another video call. My guess is this other call was with a virtual

lover or a dominatrix who was commanding him to fap for her. And then everybody came back from the break to see Tubin's camera lowered to a bird's eye view of his

crotch. Yeah. And, well, what did they see? But, well, you could call it packing the court.

Yeah. People on the call said that Tubin was touching his package. And apparently no one said, whoa, Jeffrey, hey, wait,

wait, your briefs, not your legal briefs, your underwear. Put it on. Put that subpoena, I mean subpar penis.

In your pants. Because, yeah, I mean Tubin just hung out for a little while masturbating. And then he left the call.

And then he came back on the call acting as if nothing happened. And, yeah, maybe he didn't know actually. We're not sure.

It's a spooky time of year, after all, witches and bitches and tramps and vamps are flying all through the Corona apocalypse. And ghouls like Rudy Giuliani are, well,

undoing their flies. And then Mike Pence's hair is full of flies. And, well, the very air that they fly in, is toxic.

It's killing us. Plus, we're all flying into a very scary election. And, yeah, some people's response to stress

and pressure is self-pleasure. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's actually a good thing. But, yeah, not during a work call.

Unless you really want to say, take this New Yorker job and shove it. I'm a free masturbating man. And I am not ashamed.

Now, if Tubin had said that, I'd see at least he's got balls in addition to a Zoom dick. But he didn't say that, you know.

He didn't show wanker pride. He wailed like a baby, actually, in an abject maya culpa. Ah, quote, I made an embarrassing,

stupid mistake believing I was off camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends and coworkers. I believed I was not visible on Zoom.

I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I had muted the Zoom video. Well, you thought wrong, Jeffrey. And, yeah, it's possible that while

on break from the New Yorker call, he figured that, you know, he could just squeeze in a quickie with the DOM, or whoever he was fapping to.

Anyway, you know, he didn't realize maybe that the New Yorker camera was on. Gotta put a sock on that thing, Jeffrey. No, not that thing, the other thing.

Right. And then again, there's another possibility that Jeffrey Tubin is just a risk-loving, danger and dopamine-craving exhibitionist who flirted with the

fantasy of getting caught, you know? Caught in the act. So, you know, that could be it. Many, many guys love the fantasy.

Maybe some females, maybe all kinds of people, but mostly guys love the fantasy of getting caught. And so maybe he almost did it a few times. That's my sexilogical conjecture

that he just kept Willie out of the work cam, you know, while playing to the other cam. But then this one time, oops, there it is, on the work cam.

Zoom dick. Ooh, scary. Anyway, yeah, you know, when it gets real, then the scary sex fantasy of getting caught

kind of devolves into grim reality. So, execution was swift. Shortly after the call, Tubin was suspended from the New Yorker, not fired, he might be back.

And he took a leave of absence from CNN, where he has another important job. And Twitter exploded into an orgy of mockery, as they say in the fetish world,

public disgrace. Yes. See, the Zoom dick is one thing, and then the Zoom dick outrage.

That's quite another thing. They're related, but they're things in and of themselves. And I get the Zoom dick outrage, of course. Hey, it's more fun to laugh and point

at somebody else's erection than to worry about a very scary election. And yeah, I mean, people on all sides, liberal, conservative, Trump or blue wave,

everybody just seems to love humiliating the elite exhibitionist white male. And I got to say, in a way, he asked for it. Many of my exhibitionistic sex therapy clients

just love the idea of exposing their beloved shlongs in parking lots, locker rooms, neighbors' window cells, on balconies, coming out of the shower.

That's a classic. Maybe just laying there in bed as a desirable but forbidden family member just happens to walk into the room

which you have conveniently left unlocked. Then there's driving, of course, kind of dangerous. Yeah, very dangerous. Don't do that. Don't do any of this, actually.

You know, there's being in a hotel room, fapping away, waiting for the housekeeper to come in, right? And doing it on a train.

I've seen that. Have you seen that on the train? Have you done that? Okay. And Zoom calls, of course. There is doing it on Zoom calls,

surreptitiously, usually. You got to know your cameras. And yeah, a lot of people are aroused by risk. The dopamine, baby.

And I got to say, it's the ultimate fetish of the privileged person. Risk, danger. You see, regular people face risk and danger every day.

They don't have to go after it. It's part of life. But privileged people, they, like, live in a very sheltered kind of bubble. And everything is protected and given to them.

And so they often fetishize risk. So do other people, but especially the privileged. And I try to teach my risk-loving sex therapy clients to, you know, enjoy their scary sex fantasies

in the erotic theater of the mind and practice impulse control. Because in reality, unless you're at a bonobo-esque nudist swinger resort,

something that's getting to be more and more rare these days. Anybody know of any bonobo-esque nudist swinger resorts that are open? Call me, okay? But, yeah, if you're not in a place like that,

you got to keep Wonder Weenie in your pants. And even in those places, you can't be running around with an erection. Yeah. I know.

It's kind of disturbing that we, the people, are more collectively outraged by public exhibitionism than we are by citizens being publicly gassed or clobbered or killed by police.

And yet, that is our society right now. That is what we have to live with. And some of my exhibitionistic clients are quite disciplined, actually, I have to say, you know?

Sometimes with my help, sometimes they're just, you know, innately disciplined. And sometimes they're just kind of compassionate. They care that even though it's not like a horrible thing,

it's not a rape, it's still non-consensual to, like, whip out your dick in front of somebody that didn't ask for it, doesn't want it. So, yeah.

Tubin doesn't appear to be either very impulse-controlled or compassionate, got to say. I even find myself agreeing with the odious OJ Simpson. Who might have a beef with this guy who wrote

The People vs. OJ. And he said, Dan, Jeffrey Tubin, at least Pee Wee Herban did it in an X-rated movie theater. Yeah.

I love Pee Wee. I do. And back in 1991, when Pee Wee was busted in an adult movie theater for Fappin' Away,

it was so unfair. And Max and I were doing the show, and I just decided I would masturbate right there in the studio.

And this was when I was on real radio in solidarity with Pee Wee Herman. Yes, indeed. My first time masturbating live on the air.

And no, I am not going to masturbate in solidarity with Jeffrey Tubin. Sorry. But in his defense,

I will say there are no more X-rated movie theaters that you can go to, you know, if you want some company when you're fapping. You know, certainly not in the Corona apocalypse

when a lot of folks are going kind of crazy. I mean, a lot of folks are certainly committing crimes that are far, far worse than Zoom Dick. So then Me Tubin, hashtag Me Tubin,

you know, came out on Twitter, which did upset a lot of Me Tube people, I guess. I can understand. They said Tubin, Zoom Dick, sexualized the workplace.

And what that means, I guess, depends on your dopamine levels. But what about Zoom Clit? Is that a thing? Zoom Clit? I mean, is that as bad as Zoom Dick, I wonder?

Anyway, speaking of the female, meanwhile, Tubin's long-suffering wife of 35 years, Amy McIntosh, well, she hasn't yet weighed in on her husband's dick. Now they met when they were students at Harvard,

and I guess they didn't have sex week at Harvard like we had sex week at Yale, or they'd have learned to put his dick in a box like Justin Timberlake, right?

Anyway, Tubin's no virgin to sexual peccadillos. Apparently he cheated and, yeah, he has a love child. And at first he denied the love child, right? Oh, I don't know if I like this guy.

And he's been accused of harassing at least one woman following her from a party to her door and saying, you know you really want it. You know, exhibitionists love to imagine

that women really want what they've got and just won't admit it. I don't know. Now some say Tubin should declare himself a sex addict

and seek treatment. Now I agree that he should get some sex therapy and a lot of people should. Maybe you.

You know, you got Zoom dick? You got Zoom clit? I don't know. Before you find yourself displaying it

to your coworkers, trick or treat, losing your job and your entire reputation as a serious human, well, you might want to call the therapist

without borders of the Dr. Susan Block Institute. We can help. But still, I wouldn't label it sex addiction. I wouldn't say that Jeffrey Tubin or you are a sex addict.

I know some people get off on saying they're a sex addict. Okay, it's kind of like saying, I'm a pervert. I'm a sex addict. But seriously, you're not, okay?

I mean, like, take Tubin. He may be an overprivileged spoiled brat, have lousy impulse control, exhibitionist tendencies, scary sex fantasies.

He might have job burnout. Maybe this was really an effort to get out of this job that we think is so great, working for the New Yorker.

He may have a death wish. He may have depression. The possibilities are quite extensive. But sex is not an addiction.

Like alcohol can be an addiction. Or opioids, an addiction, you know? Sex is the essence of life. And by the way, that is the name of a great podcast

I just did on Sex and the Puse. So check it out. But too often, we pretend that we don't need sex. And that sex is not important.

That it's not the essence of life. That it's the side thing. And, you know, something that, you know, we'll handle it tomorrow or maybe next week

or maybe next month. Or that maybe, you know, we can just ignore our partner's need for sex. That's a classic one, right?

You can ignore your partner, can't you? Well, you can and you have every right to. You should never have sex you don't want to have. But what does it lead to sometimes?

Not all the time. Sometimes it leads to zoom dick. Now, at least Jeffrey Tubin can thank Rudy Gugliani. He doesn't even need a costume for Halloween.

For momentarily taking the heat off of him by putting his own sweaty hand down his pants in front of that cumbly young lady playing Borat's daughter in his new movie.

I think it's men touching their dicks in public week. Maybe. Or maybe it's just that men just touch their dicks a lot. Not all men and not all the time.

But a lot of men touch their dicks a lot of the time. And yeah, I mean, it's just true. I mean, I know. I live with one.

And I mean, yeah, he's laughing. But hey, touching of the dick is a common action. For most men. I talk to a lot of men and grant.

I grant you I am a sex therapist. Of course, we talk about touching of the dick, but it's amazing how much men love to touch their dicks. And you know, you combine that with the fact

that a lot of what we used to think of as private is now public. That's right. The Corona apocalypse has made us physically distant,

but not socially distant. I don't like that term social distancing because that's not what we're doing. We're physical distancing.

Yes. And actually, when we are doing the zoom, we're not socially distant at all. And in fact, we're very close visually up close.

You can see everything, every little pimple and hair out of place. And of course, a dick out of place. You see it.

You might not see it in a big meeting room where somebody's got it under the table, but you're doing zoom meeting. Yeah, you see it.

So this is something that we're dealing with and we have yet to wrap our heads around it. Certainly not the little head. Now, some tips for dealing with the zoom dick head, okay?

First of all, look down every once in a while, right? Make sure you've got, you know, things covered. And check it hasn't fallen out or maybe creeped up over the belt, you know?

Or maybe if you're wearing shorts, you know, go out the side. Or speaking of flies, is yours open? Check. Check.

Especially when you just come back from the bathroom. It can happen. And if you must pull out your dick, and believe me, I am a dick doctor.

I'm a sex therapist. I understand. You got to pull out your dick. Just make sure the camera is turned off

or you put something over it, right? Cover it. See? You don't just cover your cock now and your face.

You got to cover your camera. Things have to be covered. Unless you're making porn. And, you know, maybe Jeffrey Tubin was making porn.

I don't know. Actually, if any of the offending parties took an evidentiary screenshot of Jeffrey Tubin's Zoom dick, well, then we the people would like to see it.

Which reminds me, I'm still waiting to see Jeff Bezos' dick pic, right? I mean, we were all expecting we were going to see it, and then we never saw it. I don't know if it exists.

Maybe he doesn't have a dick. Come on, Jeff. Where is it? I realize many people don't want to see any of these dicks.

And I'm not blaming them. So just preface the picture. You know, whether it's Tubin or Bezos. Please, not Gulliani, okay?

Just, no. Just preface it with a trigger warning. Like a trick or tree. Yes, trick or treat.

And it's definitely a treat to be here with you, brothers and sisters, in our Halloween foreplay show, riding my magic dildonic vibrating broom with a vibrator in the middle and a nice dildo on the end

and a broom to give you a good spanking. Halloween season's beatings. And I'm excited to talk to my guests. I'm not sure how many guests I have tonight.

I'm supposed to have two, but maybe I don't. I don't know. We'll see. But I know I have one.

And her name is Lady Erica Dawson. Ah, there she is. Erica. Hey.

Hi. Happy Halloween. Hi. Oh, you have a pumpkin.

And I have Trumpkin. So, of course, we're going to smash the Trumpkin. It's almost as angry as he is. Oh, yes.

Yes. It's almost as angry as he is. Well, one thing we have found with Zoom, other than it catches your dick if you're showing it,

so be careful. No, well, we wouldn't mind seeing a little Zoom clit, actually. But yeah, you got to keep talking, and then eventually we can hear you better.

Here's my Trumpkin, which is made by Miguel, the great artist. And he's got a mouth. Oh, it's kind of gross in here.

But that's kind of like the real thing. Right. So, you have a cute pumpkin pillow. You need to apply a little bit, you know?

I need to open his mouth more, force it, like maybe with my magic dildonic vibrating broom. Oh, his teeth are going to fall out this way. Yeah.

You can break his teeth. So, Lady Erica, welcome to the Dr. Susan Block show. And why are you Lady Erica? Well, you know, it became my handle on Instagram and on Twitter.

And I think it's fun to play with, you know, I like to be seen as royalty. Yeah. Why not?

Why not? I myself am the queen of the witches. Right? Join my coven.

Exactly. Yeah. So, you're also a comedian and a cook or a chef, a kooky cook.

And... Same. Yeah. Yeah.

And how do you like to trick or treat? I love to do a little trick and a treat with comedy, you know, like play little jokes on people. But, you know, the treat is to bring some joy,

make a fun little magical kooky experience. I also love to treat people with food. As you said, I'm a little chef. I got a little web series that is...

It's comedy and it's cooking all in one. So, I just want people to be able to give themselves an oral pleasure and in the process, they can have a little giggle pleasure, too, you know.

Yeah. Food and sex is a nice combination. A lot of people enjoy that. I mean, whether you're talking about dinner in a movie

or you're talking about splosh. You ever do splosh? Let's say that again. I'm sorry.

Splosh. Are you into splosh? Do you know about splosh? I'm unfamiliar.

Splosh is the combination of food and erotic activity. And usually the food goes all over somebody. Like you bake a cake and you sit in it, you know. Or you spray whipped cream all over your body.

Yeah. Yeah. We have a whole magazine on splosh, featuring Danielle Watts and Chef Be live

and Gypsy Bonobo. And, yeah, I mean, I kind of am a chef in this. But, you know, you could try that sometime where you make something that is for sploshing.

Yeah. Creamy things are good. Unless you're into BDSM, in which case you might want to use hot sauce.

I definitely go for the sweeter out of myself. But, you know, I respect that. I make some hot sauce for some people to really just scorch all their sensitive parts, you know.

Yes. So what is your specialty? Yeah. Cooking wise.

Cooking wise. You know, my first episode of Cookie Cookin' is a mac and cheese. And mac and cheese is, you know,

she's an American sweetheart, you know. She speaks to everyone's, you know, soul. So I just love cheese, love dairy, and I love to bring some soulful love

into my life and into people's lives. So that's the thing I can do. Hand tied behind my back. Eyes closed, you know.

Right. Yeah. It's a classic American, completely vitamin free food. So, almost.

I mean, absolutely, you know. It can really be very creative, you know. And that too. So do you make Halloween candy?

You know, I've never made Halloween candy, but I've made some homemade chocolate bars before. So I could, you know, make it into like little Halloween and make it into like little chocolate, like tiny pasties, you know.

I kind of have it like melt on or someone could like lick it off. That could be fun, right? Okay.

So I am being told by my tech team that we got to call you back. Yeah. Because we see your Zoom clip.

No, we don't. But we got to call you back. I'm not sure why. I guess the sound.

Log in to Zoom again. Log in to Zoom again. Log in again to Zoom. It's very copied.

Can I have my drink, my water, please? Okay. So I guess we're going to wait a little while. We're trying to reconnect.

We will reconnect. And I guess... So can I ask you a question? You can ask me anything.

So how come people are so freaked out by this event? The Zoom dick, you mean? Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I guess... I don't think a lot of people are freaked out. I just think they like talking about it. I think it's, like I said,

more fun to talk about somebody's erection than a scary election. And I think, too, it's, you know, you can kind of relate it to sexual harassment.

So our guest is back. Bring the camera down farther down. Don't have it so high up. Yes, yes.

I'd rather see more of my below. And... Yeah. Oh, okay.

No, I was talking to Gideon. But now I'm talking to Erica. Hi, Erica. Hey, how are you?

This show is full of tricks and maybe some treats. So we're talking here about Zoom dick, right? Say that again.

I'm sorry. Zoom dick. Yes, Zoom dick. Jeffrey Tubin, right.

So I'm sure you saw, you know, the Twitter orgy of recriminations. And I'm sure you've read the news because you seem like you would.

So what is your assessment of the Zoom dick phenomenon? You know, it's just, as you were saying earlier, you know, we're seeing another very privileged man who clearly, you know,

feels like he needs to take out his dick upon people without their consent. You know, to get off. That's my take.

Because it's like this is all we have been seen since, you know, this orange monster got elected. It's just he has encouraged, you know, all white men in power to be able to just whip out their dicks

at any moment. May it be a professional moment, you know, in front of truly any woman. And I'm sick of it.

You know, there are so many ways where he could show his dick in a consentful way. You know, make an Oli fans page. It's 2020.

Do your thing, honey. You know, like, we will support you if you're honest. Why can't we just be honest? Well, do you feel, can you get not so close up here?

Do you feel that he was doing it on purpose then? That it wasn't an accident? Yeah. Yeah.

He's been doing Zoom for eight months. You know, eight, nine months. Well, you know, I have a hard time leaving. Yeah.

I kind of feel like he didn't exactly do it on purpose. I do feel like he's the kind of guy that I talk to a lot as a sex therapist, which is someone who is edging, so to speak,

and trying to get very close to exposing themselves but not quite. So he's got, you know, the Zoom call going on with his coworkers at the New Yorker,

and then he's probably got a lover, because, you know, the guy has had lovers. And I think maybe a dom or somebody like that's saying, fat for me now.

And then he does it and doesn't realize, oh, the camera's on. Yeah. Or doesn't realize that it shows he thinks,

okay, you know, I'm safe, because probably he has been doing it for a few months. And he got caught this time. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, it's arrogant. And I certainly counsel men to be careful and not do it and try to control themselves.

On the other hand, I'm just amazed that people are more upset about this than they are about all the people being killed of COVID, by police, by, you know, all kinds of situations.

But it's, people like to talk about sex. You should go to a cop dog in France, the Naked City. You know, that's what I was saying. You know, if you go to a nudist resort, it's great.

If you go to a swingers resort, fantastic. Yeah. The problem is these places aren't open right now. That's true.

This is no place to go when you're, you know, a privileged pervert. I mean, yeah. Okay. I got all the technical issues.

And the money and internet resources, you know, I feel like there's a lot of adventurous people out there in communities that would, he could so be welcomed into, you know, but yeah.

And how does it get any better for him now when he's like, he got so close to the end, like he was exposed, you know, that is the thing that ultimately would get him off the idea of being exposed to people.

It's not going to get much better than that. You know, kind of like ultimate. Yeah, he really did it. He really exposed that dick.

I don't think he meant to. I mean, I'm not sure, but you know, if he really meant to then, yeah, he would say, I'm a masturbator and I'm proud. And now I'm going to have a new career as a sepio sexual

sexpert. But no, he tried to apologize kind of, you know, bad. It's hard to apologize for something like that. And so, yeah, you know, a lot of these guys,

they don't, they don't get it. They get so close to the edge. And then if they do get caught, it's like such a come down.

It's like coming down from drugs. Yeah. It's very, very hard. But no, I mean, I'm not like on Jeffrey Tubin's team.

Like I was really on Pee Wee Herman's team when Pee Wee was just, you know, wanking away and he was in a movie theater, you know, where you're supposed to do that.

And somebody, an undercover cop caught him and, you know, he had, he went, got arrested. I don't know if he spent any time in jail, but I masturbated in solidarity with him.

I was, you know, right there with Pee Wee Herman. I'm not so in solidarity with Jeffrey Tubin. I mean, he wants to smash Trumpkin too. So I appreciate that.

But on the other hand, I just can't get behind the guy, so to speak. So, yeah. So do you get on work calls?

Have you ever been on a work call or a multi-comedian call where somebody's done something sexual? Oh, no, I haven't.

I haven't. I honestly have not. I haven't done any stand-up Zoom shows this whole time just because it's hard to get the same, you know,

feedback that you would normally get in person. I'm sure you very much understand that. But I, in my work Zoom calls, I've mostly been on work Zoom calls with females

and it's been very tame. Very tame. No Zoom clip. No Zoom clip, unfortunately.

Unfortunately. It would be exciting. Are you bisexual? Yeah.

I am not really sure. I have, for the last couple of years, kind of been curious about my sexuality. I have not had any sexual experiences with women

or, like, non-binary trans or anything, but it's definitely something that I would be open to. I'm currently in a relationship with a heterosexual man. But it's definitely something that is...

I have voiced in my relationship in something that I'm going to need to explore in some realm, you know? So are you living together with your heterosexual man?

No. I live alone in a tiny studio. I like my space. I like to have my own kind of private din

to be creative and just... I'm someone who needs time to kind of decompress from other people's energy and just, like, you know, have a long time, independent.

Well, you must have a lot of alone time now. How are you managing in the corona apocalypse being all alone like that? Or do you just go out?

What's going on here? I'm doing okay. I have seen my boyfriend a lot. He lives very close by, so I'm fortunate in that.

But I have just taken the time to focus on all of writing. I love to write. I like to write a lot of, like, comedy scripts. I also write music and just stand up.

So I've stayed very creative during this time, which I'm very thankful for. Do you write about sex? Yes, I do.

Yes, I do. A lot of my music is very, like, comedic and musical. And I have a song called Tiny,

but a lot of people refer to it as the Butthole song. Tiny? At first I was thinking you were talking about Tubin's Zoom dick.

It's tiny Tubin. That's right. Yeah, but it's a song. I play the ukulele and I sing.

And it's all about how I have a very tiny Butthole. And how I terrified of butt sex and I just, I can never have butt sex. It's like a pin-trick back there, you know what I'm saying?

Well, you haven't worked it open, I guess. You haven't, like, done, you know, first a little finger with flube and maybe some anilingus or, as they say, rimming.

Have you gotten a tongue back there or anything? Uh-oh. Yes, I have. Do you like a tongue back there?

Yeah, it's fun. It's tickly, you know. It's silly. I wouldn't say it makes me super wet, but it's fun.

I'm really open to it. A lot of people love butt sex, as they say. I think men maybe are more enthusiastic about it. If they're into it than women.

Because that's their only hope. I think women kind of feel like, well, you know, I got another one. I don't need to use that one so much.

They'll use it sometimes. And some women are totally into it. But lots of women are not. And you're one of the best now.

Yeah, exactly. So, I guess that's not a very erotic song. Do you have any songs about sex that you like? Like a positive about sex.

Yeah. Yeah. Songs that I've written are just like songs in general. I don't know.

A song you can sing. A song I can sing right now. Yeah. Oh, shit.

I could sing some of my butt songs if you'd like. Well, I guess so. I heard it. It's very kind of, I don't know.

It's very cute. It's funny. Okay, you sing it. It's not going to make anybody want to have butthole sex or any kind of sex.

But that's okay. We can just laugh along. So, yeah, I sing that one. I thought maybe you had a sex positive song.

But that's a cute song. Okay. It's something that I need to get off my chest. And no, I ain't talking about my itty bitty grass.

No, it's my tiny baby. And yes, I am talking about my tightest blood. For every time I meet a sexual man, he asks to put a stick in my man's shirt.

And with a voice so big, they say it'll surely fit. Then I have to explain my anus is smaller than my click. Because I got a big old butt.

And a tiny butt home. Don't even think about asking me to do ain't a fuck off with a bottle so tight. Y'all know I just ain't right.

Don't try to stick it in. I'll scream and roar through the night. Thank you. Yay.

That's great. That's very funny. Very funny. And you know, I was saying that it's, you know, it's not sex positive really.

However, in a weird perverse way, I'm sure it turns on a lot of people that might want to get in that butthole. It does. They hear that it's too small.

And then that makes them want to get in it. It's like I'm talking about, you know, the Zoom dick, the whole doing something you're not supposed to do. And it's sad in a way that we have that in our society

because we want to be more consensual. And we want to have sex that everybody enjoys. But I think because we say that so many different types of sex are wrong.

No. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that.

So it's like, okay, well, then I might as well just do something that's really wrong. I might as well just do something really out there like show my dick to people that don't want to see it

or fuck that girl in the ass even though she says no. And that's not cool. And I would blame the guy who does that. Sometimes it's a girl, but usually it's a guy.

But I also blame our society for being sex-negative about so many things. Like where can you show your penis? I mean, yes, nudist place, but very few places.

Can you be nude? Very few places. Can you show your beautiful breasts? Yes.

I mean, there's just, you know, no place to do it. So some people just figure it's wrong no matter which way I go. I might as well do something really wrong. Yeah.

Yeah. It's not right. Yeah, it's not. No.

And I like, you know, I have a song about my fear of butt sex, but I in no way am like think butt sex is wrong. Like it's just like my own personal belief. I am very sex positive.

I like, I'm very aware of like, you know, not trying to kink shame anyone. Everyone's into their own thing. And I actually, my kind of like fetish door was opened wide

a few years ago when I had, I posted a little song I did on Instagram online. And I had interrupted myself with a belch because I, I have kind of like a chronic belching problem.

Wow. Last, last show I had a woman who had a chronic farting problem and she became the fart queen of the fetish world. Yes.

That's right. So yeah. And like an accidental way. Shout out to me and Valencia, by the way.

Hi, man. Okay. Fart queen. Fart queen.

Yeah. So you became kind of a belch queen, at least for one person. Yes. Well, for quite a few people.

Because I got a lot of response and a lot of direct messages asking me if I make belch videos as content. And I didn't even know it was a fetish. So I was like, oh my gosh, this is a whole market.

And I am, you know, I'm a freelance artist. And I started making these belch videos. I would make just some generic ones and then custom ones. And just, you know, found this very niche community.

But there's so many people that, you know, are into belching and gas in so many different ways. So it was, it opened up my eyes and opened up my throat. Yeah.

I had no idea you made fetish videos. I mean, I knew your comedian. You know, so many people nowadays are doing their only fans or some kind of little fetish thing.

And so yours is belching. And you know what? That is appropriate for a chef. Right?

Talk about kooky cooking. Right. Right. It's true.

I actually added a lot of belching into my series, my kooky cooking web series, to like kind of honor that like following in the fans that have helped and that helped made the show possible

because I self-produced it and raised money for it. And a lot of them contributed money because I sold belch videos to raise money to fund my art. Of course.

Absolutely. That's what we do. So can you just belch for us? Yeah, yeah.

I'm less of an on-command belcher. Right. And I'm more of a need a drink, but... Okay.

Well, maybe you can start drinking. You didn't know you'd be belching for this show. Whoa! Wow.

And honestly for me, that's pretty small. Okay. I interrupted you, actually. Can you take another sip and try it again?

And I won't interrupt. Let's try. Let's try. I just should have saved that coconut.

Okay. Here she goes. I don't know whether I should... I shouldn't talk.

Wow! Pretty good. That was substantial. Let's do it, you know?

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I heard that one. That had a lot of the bubbles in it, you know,

the carbonation. Yeah. Yeah. So these are mostly guys that are getting your belching videos?

Yeah. They've all been men. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. No ladies so far. Not yet. Well, I don't know if a lady's going to have a belching fetish.

There's a point of paying to hear you belch. Maybe. I'd be interested. But I can imagine that guys do.

And yeah, certainly they like the farting. But the belching, hey, it comes out of a different orifice, but it's still the emission. They just...

A lot of guys just love body functions. Yeah. And there's probably different personal reasons why they like that particular thing. Have you gotten to know any of your belching fetish fans?

To know... Sorry. Sorry. I felt it coming.

I had to let it out. No, you did. You did. Does it feel good?

Yeah. Oh, it would... They're so big it would be very painful. Oh.

Did someone... Was that you, Max? Oh, he nodded. Say yes.

Yes. Don't be shy. I don't have to be the only belcher in the room. I mean, I can belch too, but not on command.

I don't think I can do it right now. I'm not drinking anything. Yeah. I can do small ones on command.

The soda really helps. When I make videos, I usually get soda or sometimes beer from having a fun day. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Gotcha. And how does your boyfriend feel about the belching? He's honestly very supportive about it. He understands that it's a community.

It's also like my body, my life, and has been very supportive about it. But it's not a turn on for him. No, no. He thinks it's really cute, but I don't think it makes him...

It doesn't quite make him like horny. It wouldn't make him horny at all. Yeah. So what is the thing that makes the two of you hot, hard, wet?

What is your favorite sexual activity or aphrodisiac? For me, I personally really need my partner to go down on me, and I need teasing happening to my clit. Okay.

Very soft, kind of like a laughing... Like a soft laughing motion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But even softer, you know?

So I really love that. I also... We are just very... I'm very silly and weird.

He's very silly and weird. So we like to just... I will start kind of just dancing goofily and shaking my tits at him. I know this isn't like generically sexy,

but for us, to have like a playful energy between us is like very necessary. I think that's very generically sexy. Shaking your tits, first of all.

Generically sexy. Yeah. Yeah, go ahead girl. Shake them.

Yeah. And also play. Play is sexy. It's very bonobo.

And yeah. For sure. That's what we like. So, okay.

And what about speaking of play, role play? Do you have... What do you want to be for Halloween? Oh, that's a good question.

I really want to be Austin Powers. Okay. Baby. Yeah.

I love to dress up and drag. I love to dress up and drag. Really? I love to see a boy.

Yeah. I have a quite like dominance and there's a lot of... I feel like I can tap into my masculine energy very well. And it's just like something that I've always felt like in like my

comedy and in my life, I like to do. I like to experience like all sides of like my femininity and my masculinity. And I loved Austin Powers growing up.

And I just think he's so silly. And I like his raw sexual energy. And yeah, so I think I'm going to make you horny, baby. Yeah.

Wow. So have you dressed up as Austin Powers or that's just a fantasy? This is just a fantasy. Yeah.

And is that something your boyfriend, does he like that? You dressing as a guy? Well, you know, two years ago for Halloween, we were... We both dressed in drag and got very turned on by one another.

There was like a heated making out, but not quite sex. Right. We've had more like, honestly, we have like are more turned on by, I like to wear a lot of wigs, but like as a woman,

usually as like playing as my own gender and his own gender. But in this case, you were a guy and he was a gal? Yes. Yes.

Wow. Yeah. That's exciting. Did you take pictures?

Yeah, we did. We did. Yeah. Oh, I got to see those.

Yeah. Wow. Does he look good as a girl, your boyfriend? He does.

He has these gorgeous cheekbones that just, oh my goodness, little makeup. Oh, beautiful bone structure. Oh, okay.

Yeah. So maybe you'll be Austin Powers this Halloween. Yeah. Or, you know, just dresses a guy and he can dress as a girl

and you can see if you can have sex. I mean, you can pretend that he's pegging you when he's just, you know, having sex with you. Exactly.

Exactly. Yeah. I think it would be really fun. You can pretend you're a guy and that your pussy is

actually your butthole. Exactly. Maybe that's not a good idea. For that, that whole, you know, just very high light.

Just kind of like play with that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. Wow. I still haven't given up on that butthole. You know, everybody's butthole is tiny,

unless they're already having lots of anal sex. Yeah. Yeah. They've really like prepared, experienced, understandable.

Yeah. I think anybody that sings a whole song about a butthole would probably be interested. I don't know.

I'm not completely close off to the idea, you know. Oh, so to speak. Right. Yeah.

So, what was that, Max? Or you're pointing. Oh, okay. Well, we have got to go.

But it's been just such a pleasure to chat with you, Lady Erica Dawson. Thank you so much. Yeah.

Thank you. And good luck with your comedy, with your writing. You have a beautiful voice. Thank you.

Good luck with your relationship, your sex life, and your tiny little butthole. Thank you. Good luck with all things tricky,

treaty, and sexy. And thank you for having me on. Happy Halloween. Season.

Happy Halloween. Meetings. All right, brothers and sisters. Well, that was fun.

It's comedian Erica Dawson. And we did have another guest tonight. I'm not going to say who, but she's she's just lost in the sky,

flying around on her magic dildonic vibrating broom. One hour before the show. Oh. Oh.

Well, it happens. So, I think what we're going to do is show some some fun clips from past Halloween's where we had some sexy stuff going on.

From Girl Scouts to JLB to Clowns. I mean, I feel like I'm at the romper room, but everybody is over 18, right? Oh, yes.

Oh, yummy. Oh, yummy. You are yummy. So tonight's theme is come as your erotic persona.

Yes. And of course, you are kind of always an erotic persona. Well, your name is Daryl Hunt-Pana, spelled H-A-N-A-H.

And you look remarkably like another Daryl Hannah, spelled H-A-N-N-A-H. No, she's just, yeah, she is. Yes, really?

Yeah, I got that. I did my research. And I'm going to turn on my vibrator. Oh, I'm going to share.

Yes. Mmm. That works, girl. Oh, yeah.

Now, fight over it, girls. I was going to say you share. Oh, yeah. Mmm.

What about me? Oh, that's beautiful. A girl scout at jail bay, sucking my broom. You're jealous, tell me.

Or are you excited by seeing another dick? Come on, Jay Basseter? I mean, I don't have the real thing here. It's not me.

Mmm, very nice. I've got all over there, huh? Yeah, yeah. That's okay.

Mmm, you're doing a very good job, girl. Beautiful. Oh, and, you know, like I said, Harry Potter eats your heart out.

Oh, that feels good. Yes, I've been doing more playing here with like three different vibrators, and she is ready for her partner in crime.

Oh, yeah. Darrell Hanna and Jack Fountain and a Puss the Fountain. Oh, yeah.

Go for it, girl. And to all a good evening. You're such a pretty guy. Yeah, get right in there.

Oh, yeah. Doggy style. That's because we're getting in touch with our animal nature.

We are part animal, part angel. We are human. We are hot. And we love to feel each other close inside.

Oh, yeah. Give it to her, girls. This is Jack Fountain and Darrell Hanna. Oh, yeah.

Jail babe, girl. Oh, look at this beautiful tattoo, too. Eye of Morris. Yes, good girl.

That looks really nice, yeah. Looks beautiful going in there. So smooth. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Fuck that wife. Yeah, this is what you call the horny housewife

and a horny husband. Yeah, go for it. Jack Fountain and Darrell Hanna. Couple of the year.

Surely. This is the porn star couple. Just to show you how hot married sex can be.

See? Don't be afraid to get married. Sometimes you can stay hot even though it is kind of scary for most people

because mostly they lose it. But some couples manage to stay hot just like this couple. We have a new site.

It's Dr. Bloch's Pleasure Shop. Right? Dr. Bloch's Pleasure Shop. So that's the URL, Dr. Bloch's

No Apostrophe Pleasure Shop. And you can get books and fashion and sex toys

and accessories and all kinds of fun things. So anything else that we have there? And maybe you could even get

my magic dildonic vibrating broom which one day we're going to mass produce. And, yeah, this coming Saturday I want to say

if you have questions for me you should sign up for DomCon. DomCon is going to be going on virtually this coming Saturday.

It's DomCon New Orleans and we did DomCon LA a few months ago. It was really great. And now we're going to do DomCon New Orleans.

And it's very appropriate that it's going to be on Halloween because, of course, FEMDOMs are the modern witches.

And New Orleans is kind of the home of the voodoo witches. And these witches go back to Marie LeVoe

who was the voodoo queen of New Orleans. And no, you're not supposed to say New Orleans, you're supposed to say New Orleans, but it rhymes with queen.

And, yes, New Orleans is a great witchy, Halloweeny place. All those above ground graves and, of course, Anne Rice

is from New Orleans. I interviewed Anne Rice so long ago. She was the wife of one of my poetry teachers at San Francisco State.

And she did an interview with me before, interview with a vampire. I was not the vampire, but she was writing that book

and ready to come out and become a big, big star. And I don't know if you know this, but if you like Anne Rice's

interview with a vampire, check out her beauty books, the erotic series, very, very kinky.

And she writes it under the pseudonym, the nom de plume of A.R. Rochelaire. And, yeah, amazing kinky stuff.

So at Damkhan, New Orleans, I will be hosting a room in the Damkhanosphere

called Dr. Suzy. Speak easy where you can ask Dr. Suzy whatever you like.

Hopefully it won't be such an open-ended question as this about mommy fetish, panty fetish, smell fetish, role play.

So many things. Okay. It's okay if you have a lot of things. And in this case, it's going to be back and forth with people

actually talking to me about their questions, asking me. So if you want to ask me questions or tell me a story

and get my take on it, you should sign up for Damkhan and go to the Damkhan.com website.

And then you can be there and it will be on Saturday since they're doing it central time.

It's going to be in the late afternoon. And then there's going to be a fetish party and yes, all the witches

are going to gather for Damkhan. It's going to be a lot of crazy magic fun.

And I'm going to, of course, have my magic dildonic vibrating broom. You can get your own

on Dr. Blocks Pleasure Shop. And so much more, lots of fun things that you can get

for your sweetheart. The Bonobo Way Splosh and art, if you like that

food and sex. If you're more into spanking, well here we have that. yes,

we've got it all. And of course the best thing to give your sweetheart, if you're into peace through pleasure

is the Bonobo Way. Speaking of Bonobos, the book that I'm reading right now is Survival

of the Friendliest. That's right. So it's very exciting because it just shows you

that the way to success in the world through evolution is not

through power and pushing people around but through being friendly like Bonobos

like dogs and like some humans. So we have that friendly side. Anyway, I'm in the midst of reading it

oops, I didn't realize it was falling out. Oh, I have my voter thing. Yeah, don't forget to vote. Don't forget to vote.

Okay, so Survival of the Friendliest. Okay, so I think

we're about ready to go and it's been kind of one of those spooky shows

with lots of various issues, but yeah, we've had fun so we hope you have

a happy Halloween whenever you're watching this anytime. You can always dress up

and you should always mask up at this point in the Corona apocalypse.

Certainly if you are trick-or-treating you gotta mask up and make like Bonobos

not baboons make love not war. Make love to someone you love tonight

even if that someone is you I love you. We need to talk with someone about

something you can't talk about with anyone else. You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block,

your mistress of the airwaves but my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences

specializing in sex therapy over the phone. Anytime you need to talk whether you need serious psychotherapy

or a hot phone sex experience or a combination my world renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away

totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen talk with you, advise you role play for you, fantasize with you

no fantasy is too taboo and help you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism fears to desires

fetishes to marriages for more information call us at 2-1-3-2-9-1-9-4-9-7 that's 2-1-3-2-9-1-9-4-9-7

anytime you need to talk. You're listening to Radio Suzy 1 on the World Wide Web.