Sex and Death

Full transcript of Sex and Death on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

And now, here she is, Dr. Susan Block. Brothers and sisters, lovers at sinners, and exhibitionists, voyeurs and connoisseurs, hmm, porn stars, and rock stars, and horror stars,

mm, golfers and mistresses, husbands and wives. All you children of sex, and we are all children of sex. With a capital X. I mean, we may or may not be children of God.

We may or may not be children of Jesus. We may or may not be children of Allah, Brahma, Ramadhamma, Buddha, Wicca goddess, the great flying saucer in the sky,

or Dr. Patty, until we start cloning ourselves. One thing we know, we gotta do it. One way or another, even if it's in a test tube, there's a sperm in the egg kind of a thing.

We are all children of sex. Can I hear an amen? Amen. Can I hear an amen?

Amen. I wanna welcome you to the womb room of Dr. Susie Speakeasy in the soul of downtown LA. I am the irreverent Dr. Susan Block, your servant,

and your mistress of the airwaves. And tonight, we are riding those waves. Ahoy there. We're headed into oceans of fun and waves of trouble.

That's right, brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners. Mmm. We are joining tonight with our brethren and sister in of the girls and the corpses, as you can see by

all of these skeletons and dead, scary things in my bed, which is usually full of beauty and sex. Sex, sex, now juxtaposed against death. Yes, all roiling together in this ocean of life.

It's the ocean that gives birth to us, isn't it? The cells, the mermaids, the amoeba, the amphibians, and Venus rising from the half-shell, up from the stormy sea. She was born beauty herself.

Sex, love, and beauty. Venus, Aphrodite, born of the sea, the shining sea. And yet, the sea is dangerous. Shipwrecks, tsunamis, and plastic.

You know how much plastic is in our oceans nowadays? Just tons and tons. Poison, toxin, just roiling in that beautiful shining sea we love to vacation by.

And have sex in, oh yeah, sex in the ocean. Sex on the beach! Corpses on the beach. All right, we're sexing and deathin' tonight.

Here at Dr. Susan Block's show on Radio Susie One on the World Wide Web. We are cruisin' those airwaves. Hey, snakes in the Garden of Eden, absolutely. This is the Garden of Eden.

And you may eat of the Tree of Knowledge. Yes, there are many types of apples here that you may bite and chew and enjoy. So, welcome to my garden.

It's got some corpses in it. But, hey, at least it's a dry place. It's a safe place. Well, actually, dry is not good.

It's a womb room, so it's wet. Last week was so wet, we had squirting everywhere. Just crazy, crazy squirting. That's another kind of tsunami.

But this week we've got this crazy guy, Corpsy, we call him. He's got another name, but we're going to just call him Corpsy. Hey, Corpsy.

Hey, good to see you. Welcome back. I love it here. I'm getting wet in all the tsunami of your love.

You are back from the dead, aren't you? I am. Death is the lifeblood that flows through my dead arteries. Oh, yes, that sounds so appealing.

Well, here we are celebrating your new issue. Yes, yes, the liquidity issue. Liquity, liquidity, squirting, ocean. That's right.

And sharks, there's danger. Actually, yes, and squirting is another name for squirting, is nectar of Aphrodite. That's right.

Because it is Aphrodite just squirting up from the sea. Yes. Yes. But you can die at sea.

You can't. And you can be squirted to death. People have drowned, I think, here. No, no, no.

You can't be squirted to death. I would have been last week was to May, if anyone could have been. There was a flood here.

If you can make a corpse squirt, then I'll be very impressed. You know, it's funny, this friend of mine, he just wrote a book Rise Again About Zombies.

Yes. And it's a whole other kind of squirting that's really gross. I just hope none of these guys start animating

and squirting like that. That's all I can say. They won't be moving much tonight. Yes.

Ben Tripp, by the way, pick it up. Rise Again. Not a sexy book, but riveting. So, there's a sexy lady sitting next to you.

Yes, yes. Who's also quite riveting. Yes, yes, absolutely. I understand she scores on the golf course.

Pretty well. She does. She's also a girls and corpses girl. And she is a cover girl.

Cover girl of girls and corpses magazine. Yes. This is Jocelyn. Yes.

Jane. With a, with a famous, looks like a famous golfer who was actually playing today.

Didn't do very well. You know. Hate to bring that up, but. Is it because you're not in his life?

Jocelyn, can you move your mic up a little bit? Yeah. Like that. Yeah.

Thank you. You're welcome. Yes. Yes.

So, Jocelyn James, welcome to the world. Thank you. Yeah. It's nice to have you here.

Well, you have a very sexy voice. It's nice to be in your church of. Wetness. Yeah.

You're making it wetter. Definitely. I'm good at that. You are.

You are. You have oral skills. I'm an oral, I'm an oral lyrical genius. Plus a nipple sucking professional.

Yes. In other seconds. But you know. Well, sexting.

I know about your sexting skills. That is me. Well, actually. I don't know about what you sexted.

I just know the response. And the response was very painful. Well, do you want me to sext you? Yeah.

Okay. Sext me, baby. I'll sext you whenever you want. Do you want video?

Well, that's, yeah, I'll take it all. All right. Yeah. Do you like dark meat or white meat?

Oh. Which do you prefer? I like variety. Me too.

Yeah? You do. You like variety. Okay.

Or kablanasian or something? Is there a sort of kablanasian meat? A copulation of penises and vaginas of all colors is what I prefer. A compilation.

Yeah. A copulation. A copulation. Yes.

Here it's a copulation. Well, Tiger Woods. Okay. Yes.

Can we say that name? Are we allowed? Did we? We didn't.

Did we? Tiger Wormwood actually. Wormwood is this one here. Back here.

But he's a compilation, right? I mean. He's a copulation too, actually. That's, I think, what happened to his game.

Yeah. Well, I mean, you are just quite something. I've seen YouTube videos of you and your wonderful entertainer, but you burst into, like, international fame on a golf course.

Well, it didn't necessarily partake on a golf course. Oh, damn. Oh, I was disappointed. I wanted to hear about the hole in one.

There was a hole in one, but it didn't happen on the course. Oh. In one of those hotel rooms with the key. Yeah.

You know, God gave women three holes for a reason. There you go. There you go. The Soded Aphrodite.

Mmm. Yes. Yeah. So, how do you feel about your, the kind of fame that you've got?

Well, I wouldn't necessarily call it fame. I would call it some kind of twisted, not fun stuff. But. Well, this is a sex and death show.

We're talking about some not fun stuff. Yeah. It was definitely not my idea of a good time. Mmm.

Chased down by paparazzi after you and trying to destroy the beauties. Sort of like the zombie thing. That's why I say married men and married women run. You don't want them.

And is this something you learned from your experience? Because, you know, you knew he was married. Yeah. And I think he forgot.

Because I tried to break up with him. That's right. He's not a sex addict. He was just an amnesia.

I'm not really quite sure. But, you know. Ambien, I believe. Ambien.

You know. I mean, I don't know if Ambien can make you be like that. But, um, yeah. But was he good in bed?

Duh. Do you think I would have stayed for three years if it wasn't good? Well, I just was checking and, you know, we like to hear. I love my vagina and I love what it does to me.

And I'm not going to disrespect my vagina like that by giving it something that's not good. Damn. I prove. Or my butthole.

Or my mouth. Or my hands or my feet. Well, that's very good to hear. Because, you know, some people upon reading the sexting might not think that.

And I mean, I'm glad you hear that. Well, there is a positive thing that did come out of all that. I didn't know that I liked being choked. But I love it.

Really? Yes. The choking. Tigers choking now, but in a different way.

Yeah, exactly. But, you know, I find that a lot of like sweet young ladies like yourself really like choking. How do you know I'm sweet? Well, you sound sweet.

You look sweet. You seem sweet. I'm a nice person, but I know how to be nice and I know how to be a filthy nasty whore. Yeah.

It's that dark side. I wouldn't say it's dark. I'd say it's pink. Pink.

But the choking is dangerous. Don't try this at home. If it's done right. Like, and I just realized recently when I was in Florida with two of my girlfriends,

because I have two female lovers. And I realized that I like being scratched. Like I like, I've always liked being bitten and my hair pulled and kind of smacked around a little bit, but I like being scratched while I'm being choked and my legs pinned down

and my hair being pulled and being bit. It takes like a group. Okay guys, let's beat her up. It takes a village or a group.

Well, it just don't come in my eye. That's all. No, coming in your eye. Okay.

Yeah. Because the sperm attack the eye like it's an egg because they try to get in it because it's, you know, it's not fun. It doesn't feel good.

Right. Right. I understand. That's very scientific of you.

I didn't know like I just. The sperm attack the eye like it's an egg. It does. I just learned that like about a year and a half ago it hurts.

I learned that from Johnny sins. Thank you, Johnny sins. We love you. But the scratching and the biting and the choking is okay.

Yeah. But choking, you know, speaking of sex and death, I have to say to my, to my new listeners and viewers that don't know about it and might just think it's just something to try for fun.

And I'm definitely not going to try it by myself with a belt alone. I do consult consulting and expert witnessing for the LA public defender's office and some people are accidentally killed that way. And when that happens, the perpetrator who didn't mean it is often charged

with extra charges like torture. So I have to kind of explain that. No, they were just trying to have some fun. Yeah.

Actually, I put that in my will if I die by that way. It's because that's how I want to go out. Wow. That's really sweet of you for your partners.

It is. That's actually how I want to go. I want to die fucking. Oh shit.

That's how I actually got. No, that's actually how I got to die in the ghostbuster parody. They're like, you get to die fucking. I'm like, awesome.

Do I squirt all over them? They're like, yes. That's a great issue. Are you a squirter?

Yes. Wonderful. Yeah. Milf squirters number seven.

Yeah. Wow. Do you squirt like naturally or did you have to teach yourself? Actually, I learned by accident.

The funny story is about it is I never really was able to come like a lot from the bottom. But the guy had my legs behind my head holding me down and I just like, blushed it everywhere.

I was like, was that you? He goes, no. I was like, I just came like a man. Yeah.

And I had to call somebody. So I called my. So you hit somebody in the eye with that. Yeah.

But it wouldn't attack. It's not the same. No, no, no. It's different.

It's mostly water. Yeah. Not as much ammonia. Yeah.

Well, great. Well, I don't know, you know, if we're going to scratch you and bite you, but maybe, but we are going to do a casting of your.

Of my cookie. Of your pussy, of your VJJ, whatever you like to call it. It's, I'm looking, it's, it's alive though, but we're going to like make it a cast of it.

And it's somehow related to all this corpse thing stuff. I think it'll survive you. Maybe. I mean, even after you're gone, there will be, you know,

like a death mask. It's like a pussy mask. Instead of doing a bust, there's a must. A must.

Yeah. We must. Yes. All right.

And so we're going to do that in a minute, but I want to introduce my other guests and chat a little. And then we're going to do that. I think up here, right?

Yeah. Okay. If you want to, baby. Oh God.

Listen to that sweet voice hiding a kinky woman. Yeah. Tiger. Yeah.

Oh, what are you missing? No wonder he's not doing well. I know. You don't talk to him anymore.

Not at all. Okay. We're moving on to Terra Patrick. Yay.

Adult superstar. Back on the Dr. Susan Block show after time flies. 11 years. 2000.

I remember that. Right. You had just done penthouse and you came to talk to me and hang out and get your titties painted.

I remember that. I thought I got whipped. Didn't I get tied up? I think you got tied up.

Yeah. On a wheel. Right. Started with your titties painted.

I'm on a wheel. Right. Yeah. First things first.

I got my tits painted. And then. And then you got whipped. And then I got whipped.

I remember that. Remember the pain. I didn't remember the pleasure. Do you see that great picture of you out there?

Oh, we have a picture of you. Yeah. Not there, but out in the. Yeah.

My shoes. Different. By Ed Fox. Oh, okay.

Yep. Ed Fox, you're kind of climbing something. Anyway, it's beautiful. You're beautiful.

You look better than ever. Thank you. How's everything? Good.

Really good. So you've been doing horror speaking of, you know, sex and death. Yep. Actually, it was a week ago.

Well, it was a year ago today that I flew to Jakarta, Indonesia. And that's, we filmed for two weeks. Jakarta, Indonesia. What's that like?

It was smack in the middle of summer. It was during Ramadan, which is the holy holiday, Muslim holy holidays. Which it is now. Yeah.

Right. So it was during this time. I've made some people break Ramadan because they've watched the show by accident. I don't know.

They went, oh my God, you forced me to break Ramadan. My fault. Yeah. No, they had to sneak me.

Well, I don't necessarily sneak me into the country, but I went through privately, security, everything, because they didn't want any media to know. They didn't want to bring the attention there. Yeah.

So that's why we actually had to shoot. Because you have a lot of fans there. Yeah. Yeah.

But it was, it was, it was a holy, we were trying to be respectful. You know, it was their holiday. They didn't want to cause a riot. We did when we left.

We did? Because I left probably. No. Yeah.

They didn't want you to go. Because I left. They're like, no, you can't go. But yeah.

No, it was exciting, but we did have to shoot outside Jakarta. Oh. So it's a horror movie. Are there any sex scenes?

No. It's called The Moning of the Virgin Ghost. And actually. That sounds like a zombie.

I actually play a girl who gets roofied, if I can say that word. And then I get raped. Say whatever you want. Yeah.

So you do get, there's sex, but it's not good sex. Well, yeah, it's not good for me. It's good for them, I guess. But no, then I.

I wonder if it's good for the viewer. I don't know. Some people aren't. You know, it depends.

Yeah, a lot of people. Unfortunately. We've seen some like Japanese, there's specific types of pornography in different countries. It's a little more violent than, you know, sensual.

I mean, it's everyone to each his own. But no, so I get, I get killed. And then I come back as a zombie and I execute all the guys. So it's a lust murder.

Yeah. They, they rape you and they kill you. This is, do not try this at home. Okay.

Yeah. This is even worse than the choking thing. Yeah. No, this is really horrible, but okay.

No, it was good. You know, this is entertainment in this world. It was good for me because I have never played like a killer. So it was a lot of like, I got to kill a guy with a screwdriver.

Nice. Chainsaw. Is that fun? Like wearing a strap on, but different?

I'm not the strap on wearer. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

But knife wielding. Yeah, exactly. That's you. I channeled my inner serial killer, I guess.

Cause I'm obsessed with serial killers. You are. Yeah. I have been since.

Don't tell me you want to be one when you grow up. No. I got into porn instead. Made my parents happier.

Porn actually creates peace. Yeah. Otherwise you'd be a serial killer. Right.

Well, I have a copy of my memoir for you, Center Takes All. Let me see. I don't have it on me. Oh, you don't have it on?

Here, but because I just got off a plane. But I talk about in the early beginning of the book that I was really into serial killers when I was a kid. I think you got this guy.

Got a lot of guys, but no. Yeah, so no, the movies, it's screened. It's all over Asia. So I own the rights actually to distribute it in North America.

So how do you feel about doing porn versus horror? It's the same. It's the same. One is more wear and tear on your, on your pussy, I guess.

You know, I didn't have, I will say, I actually, I stopped filming in 06. Yeah. I haven't filmed since 06. So I did, I really liked my work.

I did. I had very good working experiences in the industry. I had one, I talk about it in Center Takes All. I had one bad scene and I stopped it in mid-scene, but I never put up with any

type of, you know, abuse or degradation. I always thought that, you know, for me, I was in it because I just, I like to fuck. And, you know, even though I'm submissive.

It's better than serial killing. I would, I don't know how good I would do in prison. Right. You know, I could, I could run it, you know, but I just don't think I would be

submissive enough. Right. Yeah. No, well, we're glad you got into porn.

I mean, and, and that we have so many wonderful images of you that are still on your website as though you're still doing it. Yeah. Well, no, I do shoot for terrapoucher.com.

I just shoot by myself. Yeah. Oh, you do shoot. So you do that just to keep things going?

Oh, absolutely. Yeah. I love modeling. That's always my first love.

I started when I was 13 in Japan. I started modeling and, you know, penthouse, playboy. I just shot two covers for FHM throughout this month. Picture.

So what turns you on more in your personal self? Doing a porn movie or doing a horror movie? I mean, do you, do you get turned on more by the horror or the porn? Now the horror because porn wasn't challenging for me anymore.

That's why I retired. Yeah, the horrors is. It's something new. It's something, you, you reach a peak at, at some point.

I did anyway creatively for me. I didn't, I filmed for about five years and did what I wanted to do and did who I wanted to do except for one guy. There was only one guy.

One guy you didn't get to do. Who was that? David Hasselhoff actually. Wasn't he?

I did him. You can, you see in the magazine. He was dead. He was dead.

Was he dead when you did him? Yeah. He's on the cover. He's dead.

Well, I know in there, but. He wasn't dead till Natasha did him. No. He was dead.

That's Natasha Marley. She was the one that shot girls and corpses with her. Lovely girl. So you're on, on the cover of the current girls and corpses right here.

There she is. And the, and the back cover too. She's sitting, sitting there. That's David Hassel corpse with Natasha Marley.

And, and she was a great mind. She had a blast doing this. Really. Very sexy little.

Beautiful. Well, this is somewhere between, I don't know. What is modeling for girls and corpses like? Is it horror?

Is it, is it like being in a slapstick? We, I had never met, met Natasha when actually how I met Robert was he interviewed me on the red carpet and I had kept his card. And I had actually the idea I had for girls and corpses was I wanted to, I had another

idea, but he pitched the Bay rot. So Natasha and I ended up doing it. And actually we, we had, it was, it was comedy. And it was kind of weird because there was like a dead body and we're like, ha, ha, ha.

So anyway, you know, like it was, it was funny. Like, you know, it is true, right? Cause you're like laughing because the body all poking it. With me with some of the photos, like I couldn't stop laughing.

I was like, I'm a giggler. And when I, like sex, whatever, I'm giggling cause it's good. But like they captured like some really funny photos of just me laughing. You gotta, you gotta get these to be scratch and sniff.

They won't be laughing. They smell like corpses. Well, it was funnier because she was so freaked out. So I'm kind of laughing at her cause she was all freaked out.

I was like, she's all freaked out. I mean, ha, ha, ha. She's got to kiss it. I don't.

If it was real, I don't know. Or maybe you would find that a challenge. Well, I worked as a nurse. So when I was in school, I remember I wanted to be a corner cause people don't

talk to you. Like when you're a nurse. Yeah. People are like, I need water.

I need morphine. My toe hurts. You know, you're like, oh, you know, I have 10 more patients. I mean, it is just but a corner.

I love nurses though. I almost as much as porn stars. I feel like nurses are the porn stars of the hospital. The hospital.

Don't go in the supply room. Actually, I had a fun experience in the supply room with my fellow nurse. I'm like, but I didn't mean it. It just happened on accident.

His cock just fell out of his pants. I know the scrubs. He fell on his penis. So sweet.

Don't nurses give you a little. Speaking of sweet, I want to introduce my next guest. Please. Good transition.

Nicely done. Nicely done. That's good. You're good.

Miss sweet. Hello. Sasha, welcome back. Thank you so much.

Sasha looks great as a champion. Look at that outfit. Oh, that is beautiful. Get him girl.

Hot, hot, hot. Yeah. So what are you up to? I've been shooting a lot.

And I've also been working as a dominatrix. Is that right? Another sweet one that's whacking people, you know? Yes.

I love it. Yeah. What is that about? Yeah.

It's fun. I really actually look forward to doing it because I feel like every time I go to work, it's like a page out of psychopathia sexualis. There you go.

You never know what you're going to see or what you're going to hear. It's really intriguing. What's your most interesting client so far? I had a client come in last week that wanted to fuck my shoe.

There you go. A shoe fetishist. He wasn't even interested in you. You could have gone for a smoke break.

Exactly. He was like... Infatuated with shoes. But he wanted a beautiful girl to have been in the shoes.

Yes, and he wanted to smell it. Or else he could just go to Neiman's and get some shoes. I mean, you know, or somewhere. Were you wearing the shoe at the time?

I was wearing it before I took it off. That's the thing. She had to take it off. Did you have one on and just kind of dangle it?

He wanted both of them. He wanted to rub one and then fuck one. Did he want you to encourage him to coach him? Yes.

That was important too, the coaching of how to hump the pump. Hump the pump. Yes. Very nice.

Or you could say he wanted to get into your shoes. He did. He definitely got into your shoes. Wow.

Well, okay. Well, welcome back. Thank you. Sasha's been here a few times, but you introduced us to Sasha.

Yes, she's another corp set. Another corp set, right? Is she in the magazine? She is in the magazine.

We're doing a shoot with her in the next issue. She's sort of a fixture of girls and corpses. A fixture. That sounds dead.

Okay. She's very much alive. And she was at my birthday. She was great.

It was so fun. She helped me spank everybody. I made sure everyone got spankings for my birthday. You did too.

Yeah. So now I'm going to introduce this hard corp's rock star mime, Kim Fowler. Hello, Fowley. Fowley.

Yes. You're the Fowler. He's the Fowler. I got fouled up.

I'm sorry. I have other names. Kim Fowley. I have other names.

I'm Lance Romance. I'm Dollboy the movie. I'm Master of Disaster and a couple of other things. You sure are.

Wow. I mean, that looks like war paint on your face. If you're listening on the radio, you don't see this. But this is some kiss-like makeup.

I have two songs with Kiss. Do You Love Me and King of the Nighttime World. Yeah. 35 separate kiss albums.

And I also write songs for Alice Cooper. You are an icon in Rock'n'Roll, right? Yes. Right?

And the discoverer of the Runaways, the putter-togetherer. Yes. Runaways, right? Woo!

The arranger of the Runaways, which, you know, it was the first real girl, girl, girl. Under 18. Band. Ow!

Under 16, right? I don't know about that. One was so 15 and a half. As long as they're not on my show.

Okay. And this was in the 70s, you know, when, I mean, that didn't happen. You weren't even born. Right.

Right. How do you know about this? So, you've been, you're back. I was a sex worker first.

Really? I used to fuck burn victims in high school from big money. Burn victims? Mm-hmm.

This was... The shrink was the pin. Charity? I know.

I was paid by their orgasm. When you get a burn victim to come like a dog, you are Superman. Are we talking about nurses again? Yeah.

I didn't know. That ties in. Yeah. I was in high school so they had a Lord Byron situation because I have a cane, which is a large dildo, too.

Really? Apparently. Ah, and you could spank with the other end. It was inserted for the right lady.

Nice. Mm-hmm. Wow. So, you've just been through so much.

A lot of charred meat. There go those zombies again. But this wasn't a movie. This was real life.

This was in real time. No airbrushing or Photoshop. Right. Right.

That was reality, reality. Mm-hmm. Not this reality. This is very pleasant.

So far. We just got started. You could get gory. Hopefully.

Kim is a future cover. I don't know if we can explain it. Maybe you can tell. It's a chance Kim will be on our cover.

Well, I'm a cancer survivor and he has the right to come to the hospital and have sex with my body. Well, not myself. Can we clarify?

No. Thank you. We have designated girls who are in a band called Black Room Doom who take charge of that and the songs and the tracks already written and everything.

All right. So, he's going to cease to exist and then he wants to be on the cover of the magazine. This is where people start turning the channel. But this is very exciting.

I'm very excited. Well, it's sex and death that are together. Well, we have, yeah. We have, I mean, there's tigers.

There's half one with the cover of one of these things. Robert. Kim's in the cover. I'm in the same issue.

Right. We don't even have to use a dummy for you. No, no. I'm already horrifying enough.

Great. Thank you. Well, you know, I'm happy to have you all here. I feel like we're going to continue this discussion.

Yes. But I want to get the art process going now. Yes. Because we're almost halfway through the show.

Yes. Let me just mention, because James Spinner, let me just take over your show for a moment, which I do so well. James Spinner.

James Spinner, FX art. He is a sculptor, a molder. He is famous for doing, he worked on the Iron Man, you know, molding of the pieces of the costume.

Yes. The guy is amazing, and he works for us not only with some of the corpses, but he also does molding. With live people.

He takes women and he does a pussy casting. Right. He did that with me earlier. He cast your pussy.

I mean, not like a casting. It wasn't like you got a job. But he actually put stuff on your vagina. I thought I got the job.

No, and you got it. Of course you have the job. And by the way, you have a lovely, you have a lovely labia. I really had no idea.

Thank you. Your husband was there watching. Give him another drink. Not me.

That's what I'm doing it for. Now we're going to have James mold Jocelyn James on your bed while you continue your show. I think you should do that right here.

Right on the corner here, right over here. We're going to mold Jocelyn James. It's going to be historic. It's going to be historic.

Right. And then she'll be selling her, they actually make soap out of these vagina molds. We call them cookie soaps.

Cookie soaps. And we're going to, they're going to be a Dr. Susan Block soap. Is that correct?

Yes. I believe it's going to be soap or a magnet, but I like the idea of soap. Can't do a magnet.

I have the pussy magnet. I like the idea of people cleaning themselves with my pussy. They'll be washing themselves. Have you ever done a soap tarot?

I mean that seems like a real tarot. Tarot should have a soap. Actually, I did, when I was first with Playboy, when I did the magazine, they made tarot Patrick candles.

Candles. No, but I guess it burned down someone's house or something. So they discontinued them.

They discontinued them. So they were like, it was a candle scandal. That's so hot. Candle scandal.

So James, this is your cue. Let's get your tarp over here. James, come on up here with the tarp. And we're going to mold.

Get it going on. Jocelyn James is going to, your audience is going to be one of the few people that saw what Tiger Woods saw while we unmold her.

Well, if you've seen The Eleventh Hole, you saw what he saw. Yeah. I can't see what he did.

There's a movie called The Eleventh Hole. We're going to see it very well for a moment. We're going to see it very well. Feel free to squirt, you know.

That'll ruin the room. That'll ruin it. Yeah. Jocelyn's going to get into it.

It'll be worth it though. She's going to go and meditate. I'm going to go tinkle here. She's going to tinkle.

Oh, you're going to go tinkle. Okay, go tinkle. Yeah. She's going to go tinkle.

You're going to be immobilized for a minute here. You get it ready. He's going to prepare. If you talk quietly, I can't hear you.

Okay. Yeah, we're going to do it right here. We're going to just put the tarp up here. The vibrator will not be used.

Can I get a microphone towards the bed there? Yeah. So, actually, while we're doing that, I just want to welcome here the students of Dr. Patty Britton, my friend and colleague.

I'm very excited to have you all here. I'm just so excited to have you here. And they're all learning to be sex coaches. And we are definitely perverting them.

And then they're going to go on to pervert others. And it's just such a beautiful thing. And I also want to welcome Swedish TV Channel 5. Yeah.

And I'm very excited about that. Malin is here. And Malin, actually, you could come up and take Jocelyn's chair because she just vacated it because she's going to come up here and get her.

I wanted to mold her. She wouldn't be molded for some reason. Well, we'll see. We'll see.

The Swedish women are very conservative. We are? Yeah. Maybe not.

Well, maybe she'll feel a little competitive. Malin, raise your microphone a little bit. Is this better? Yeah.

While Jocelyn's not here, we'll just say she's from the same country as Tiger's ex-wife. Yes. Let's bring that up.

We're actually from the same city. The same city. Wow. See, this is a real-life soap opera we got going on.

There goes Jocelyn right out the back door. Okay. No, no, no. We got a tarp for her.

She can't go anywhere. Okay. Actually, we should start talking about that. Well, you know, while he's doing that, you should mention you're

in Girls and Corps. I am. In this issue. Where's the new issue?

You're in it. You can find it. Okay. Actually, there's a Emory board in it.

It's already hooked up for you. I'm a marketer like you. I'm always prepared. With the Emory board, in case I break a nail.

Yeah. In case you break a nail, opening the magazine. Okay. There's Tara Patrick, by the way, in here.

There's Tara. Yeah. Tara's book, which can all be bought on Amazon.com. Hey.

Wonderful book. Wonderful book. Squirtology. Squirtology 101.

And then there's a big picture of you standing there with a tsunami. Well, it's actually, it's like Niagara. You know, the funny thing is it kind of looked like you were pissing there, but it's not you.

No, and it's not pissing. No, it's squirting. It's squirting. It's not.

And it's Dumé. It's Dumé who's got her legs spread and she's doing it right in front of me, but it's coming up in my face like a geyser.

Explain the difference, because a lot of people still think it's pissing. I've seen it, it really is squirting, but there are people that, how do you distinguish, because there are

women that fake this too? Well, the best way to distinguish is to have Taste it. The lady in question, pee first.

And then get all the piss out of her. And then you stimulate and you do the squirting and it is different. You know, it looks different.

It does taste different if you want to do the taste test. It certainly smells different. And if you do a chemical analysis, it is different. Squirt has about 2% urine in it.

So it does have some urine, but it's got a lot of water and prostatic fluid. Prostatic fluid. God, that doesn't sound sexy.

Well, you asked. No, no, it's good. You wanted a chemical composition. I do.

I want the report. So that's it. Okay. Yes, it was lovely to have you in the issue.

Yes, yes. It's very lovely. So we're going to get, oh, where's Jocelyn? She's getting prepared.

She's peeing. She's getting prepared. I want to know more about Sweden. Oh, Sweden, yes.

Yeah. What do you want to know about Sweden? Well, how's your sex life in Sweden? Oh, I think sex life in Sweden is great.

Yeah. I mean, because, you know, we go back and forth with it here in America what we think of Swedish sex life.

You know, because, of course, it was introduced to us in the 60s with I am curious yellow. And we thought all Swedes were hot and kinky and wild.

Yeah, that's what it is actually. It's true. But then like recently our like, our like friend and you know, our hero of WikiLeaks, Julian Assange,

he's been like accused of sex by surprise. Yeah. We don't know what happened, but it just makes us think, you know, what's with you Swedes?

You don't like surprises? Or maybe what's with him? Maybe. Well, maybe, maybe, maybe he doesn't know how

to spring a surprise. Okay. Well, surprise. Saved by the porn star.

Yeah. Okay. So take these off. All right.

Here we go. And no panties. It's panty boys anniversary tonight. Aw.

But she's not wearing panties. She's got pants on. I wore panties. She's got invisible panties.

And lovely shoes. Yeah, great shoes. Levered panties. Great pumps.

Okay, we're going to see those in a minute, but right now we're exactly. Could I borrow your pumps for a few minutes? This vulva.

Now there is some, you know, pubic hair there, which is lovely. But it, I don't know if it's okay. We're going to Vaseline it.

Yep. Okay, and now we need to get a microphone here. For the show. They put it on the bed there.

Dr. Susie is right behind you. Can I mention something here, Susie? You know, because I never taken a moment to not take over your show. James, what he does is he molds porn stars.

And you can buy bars of your favorite porn stars. What is your site, Jamesfxart.com? No. Okay, wait, wait.

You can interview him. I'll shut up. Porn stars art. Porn stars art.

And you can buy Jocelyn's soap and things like that. Now by porn stars art, does that mean you have porn stars vulvas, or this is art for porn stars to put on their walls? It's vulvas as artwork.

Okay, okay. And so these are all different porn stars that have their vulvas done. And you could have a porn star vulva on your wall. Correct.

Or if you're a porn star, you could have one made. James is the Picasso of Pussy. All right. Or you could have one of my cookie, my butt, and Cropsey's hands.

Okay, that's true. Thanks for bringing that up. Well, very nice. New Year's Eve.

Happy New Year's to me. Okay, so now she wants to hold on to her drink, I think. Nice shoes. Okay, and you can rest in the gorilla there.

Yeah. And definitely you can lay back against the gorilla. Let's see here. James will explain what he's doing.

To most people it looks like he's just... There's a microphone in the bed. If you can't understand what he's doing. Yeah, and you need to keep your cold, right?

You need to keep this shirt on? Really? Yes. Wow.

Is that because you can't show nipples here or what? No, no, no. I never know. But you haven't...

You never know in this country where you can show your nipples. You don't mind showing your vagina. Yeah, that's what I thought. Show the vagina but no nipples.

Can you explain that to my audience? I have a funny sunburn and some people might think it's hot, but I think it's not cute. There you go.

And since I'm showing my cookie, I don't think I need to show the top part. Oh, I agree. Let's give her a round of applause for her vagina. Okay.

I think that's fair enough. By the movie. By the movie. Okay, so here we go.

James is a professional, by the way. He's getting no pleasure out of this whatsoever. It is just, he's a professional. I'm trying to move over this corpse here.

You're, by the way, right near your friend here. He's dead but this is your man or it was anyway. It's like so two years ago. It's so two years ago.

Right, but you know, we never forget. I know because everybody still sends me stuff about, I guess apparently he just lost the watch deal endorsement. He did today.

He did today. I don't know. I don't care. You don't know and care.

But yeah, I mean, people are wondering if it's because he lost you, that he lost the endorsement. Well, maybe he should choose a different girlfriend than the one he has now.

Who's his girlfriend now? Oh, I don't know who. I see I don't keep track of him. Who's his girlfriend now?

Somebody, I'm not going to say her name. Research department. Okay. Well, yeah.

So he's so two years ago. Who's right now for you? I'm not going to say. Okay.

Well then let's talk about him. Corpse. Excuse me. Something was in my throat.

Okay. Yep. There it is. That is the hole in one that Tiger scored into.

This is, this is the one. This is the one that he, you know, he couldn't have just once. Had to have it over and over again.

And can you blame him? No. Okay. No.

All right. And now you can't. Now you see it. Now you don't.

Okay. You should. It's getting ooze. This is the horror part.

That's actually Tiger's semen. He's putting on here right now. That is how it dries. Wow.

Okay. Tiger can come like a whale. Does anybody getting turned on by this in particular? I just want to know, does someone have a fetish?

James does. Okay. Yeah. He's smiling.

He must be. He hates his job. Kids, when you go to school and you're trying to pick a profession.

Pussy molder. There's a, it would be way up there. Because there is a job for everybody. Yeah.

And he does this all day long. I've seen it. Oh, this is your pants. Yeah.

It's my romper. Your romper. Yeah, I got you. I'm just trying to avoid the corpse,

but I don't know. Tiger. Is that a hat? I can't avoid Tiger.

Yes, it is a hat. There are genitals, by the way, that are made to. Yeah, actually it's not plugged in.

But you know what? It probably isn't a good idea to turn it on while you're doing it. Yeah, probably not.

No, but we can do that later as a reward. Yeah. Sort of talk like this, but. Can we, uh...

You're just making me laugh. Oh, okay. Well, that too. Are we gonna mold Kim Fowley after this?

What, uh, are we gonna mold Kim Fowley? Uh, we could. Kim, would you like to be molded? No, I'm trying to be grotesque with this

young innocent girl at the moment. We'll let you know in a few moments what's gonna happen. But she's over 14, so it's gonna be a bad night.

Yeah. But it's called clit hard on, isn't it? And she's a dominatrix. Oh, I'm...

But she likes to switch. Oh. I didn't tell you that. But I can see it in your face

on the shape of your mouth and how the saliva sticks to your soul. Wow. Wow.

That's very poetic, huh? It is. It is. Her ass has potential.

I haven't seen it, but I can smell. All right, so we're, we're definitely creating art here, pussy art. I think Kim was gonna be in silence

at the lambs originally, but the part was already taken. Okay, so, uh, so this is called vulva casting. James will tell you what this is.

This is actually, James, so what is that material you're using? Really? Material I'm using is dental halogenet.

Dental, this is what they make your teeth out of. Yes. You know, when they do the dental formations, right. Makes sense.

All right. Well, um, well nice. Well, this is gonna take a little while. I had this done to me earlier today

without quite as many cameras, but there was a few. And how do you feel now? Do you feel different about yourself?

I, I feel renewed, yes. Do you? It's like a trip to the spa. This is what they do at the spa.

They, they throw all this crap all over you. Did it pull any hair or anything? No, no, I shaved. Oh, I told you to shave.

That's right. Yeah. I gave you the, the note. No, I was all, I was all.

Hey, you forgot to tell me that he looks like Ian. Whoops, whoops, whoops. You notice this fits in with the theme of the show because water, liquid, it looks like ocean.

I don't know, I'm trying to. It looks like ooze. Like ooze. Which is kind of gross, which is the theme of the show.

Yeah. Okay. Oh, by the way. Oh, yes.

Now, I have to say it is Panty Boy's anniversary. Oh, right. Right. Panty Boy.

So, uh, I, I need to see some panties here for Panty Boy. Yes. Right. So Sasha loves panties.

Kim's wearing panties. No, no. So Sasha, can we see your panties? Of course.

Okay. I wear special ones today that are. She's wearing special panties. A little different than my regular.

But. Sasha's been molded too, by the way. Oh, yeah. I have this bush that's just like popping out of the side.

Yes, the bush popping out of the side is very charming. And this is your little, uh. My leopard. Leopard panties.

Leopard panties. Leopard song. Yes. But you have to give those up for Panty Boy, you know.

So you have to take them all. I know. I just got them today. I'm kind of attached to them.

It's his anniversary. Yeah. And he's so sweet. We'll give you plenty of panties.

We have all kinds of panties. Yeah, I get them. I love these leopard though. But I think he's, I think Panty Boy's pretty special.

You think Panty Boy's special? Yeah. Why do you, why do you like him so much? He always leaves very sweet messages on my Twitter.

And it makes me very happy. Because a lot of times you get like jerks on Twitter. And he always has nice things to say. He does always have nice things to say.

But he's going to complain that you didn't give up your panties. You know. I know. Maybe Tara, maybe Tara will sign.

And Jocelyn will sign a pair and donate it tonight. I'll sign too. What? Any other panties?

We can see. Tara, are you wearing showable panties? Showable panties. Showable.

It's a new word. No pressure. Cannot show panties. You can't.

It's a new, it's a new outlook. But I did have a question for you. Do you have deals with your vagina? I mean, not that your vagina made the deal.

Someone owns my vagina. But seriously there, because there's toys and things that are made. Did you ever have a molding made? Oh yeah.

Yes. That's actually how I met my boyfriend. Because he's a molder too. He knows James.

Can we talk? Can we mention him or not? Does he not want to? Yeah, no.

That's actually where I just came from. He's a superman. So he just did the whole casting for his body. So that's how we met.

He molded my pussy. So he's a prop creator? Yeah. Well he does molding and sculpting and painting.

I think James may know. What's his name again? Tony Acosta. James, you know Tony Acosta?

He molded my pussy. Wow. It's kind of sensuous. In my mouth.

Nice. No big deal. Nice. Can we buy your vagina somewhere?

Can your pussy be bought? Yeah. Well the line of novelties is called flesh light. Correct.

Yeah, that's huge. Have you ever seen the flesh light before? You know what that is? Sure.

Of course it's making, they're making them. Why am I plugging them? I don't know. Should I get some free something?

I don't know. Why haven't they molded you? Well I just got molded. Yeah, but this isn't really for a sex toy.

This is more like we're going to make soap. People can rub. They can rub you all over them. But they can't penetrate it.

They can't penetrate it. Okay. Well, you know, I mean that's okay. That's cool.

So how are you doing there? Good. Yeah? No, Robert, you can't have my flesh light.

You can't have sex with my flesh light. Yeah, I'm going to tell you something honestly. You're one of the biggest porn stars ever and I've never seen one of your movies.

And it's kind of good. It's kind of good because I have this special relationship. You don't look at me that way. I can't.

Like you have. I haven't. I know you're a nasty little thing back in the past. This is back a few years, but I haven't seen any of your movies.

But you obviously were tremendously successful. So are you less sexual now? No. Are you more sexual than ever but you just don't do it as much?

No, no, no, no. I just don't do it on film. Well, I do. I just don't distribute it worldwide.

Ah, you film your boyfriend's film as you do still? Yeah. Yeah. So you think of yourself as an exhibitionist

or another kind of sexualist? No, I love being an exhibitionist. I got into porn because it's funny. I'd never even seen a porn before I got into porn.

But I always used to have fantasies about being in porn. And I did magazines for a while before I did movies. And I remember getting approached to do my first scene. And there was an agent named Jim South when I started in 1999.

And he said, Tara, you know, you can start real easy, like doing girl, girl. And I said, give me a guy. I don't like girls.

I just want to fuck. And he was like, I'm booking you all week. Because the girls only wanted to do girl, girl. They did not want to do boy, girl.

And I only wanted to do boy, girl. I didn't even do girl, girl until like four years after I had already done like 70 movies. And what really turns you on now these days?

Just, you know, I... What's the latest sexual horizon for Tara Patrick? I'm at Crafilia. Maybe.

Because the horror movies turns you on. Dr. Suzy, we've got lines going on and off here. But there is a caller who wants to ask Tara a question. Okay.

But I want to know what turns her on right now. I think that's his question. At this moment. Yeah.

Hello. No, I want to know. I want to know. Oh, I thought it was answering the caller.

I'm sorry. You know, now that I'm... Now that I'm in, I think for me is now that I have one partner and I've just been with him for a while,

I find myself so much more uninhibited with him because there's trust there. So I've been able to do like everything with him. What have you been able to do with him

that you couldn't do before? Well, anal was a big thing with me. I'd only actually had anal sex on camera with my then ex-husband and with one other partner before.

But I'd always like, when I'd masturbate, you know, I'd like to finger my ass or I'd like toys there. I've made myself squirt. I really wouldn't trust.

The trust wasn't there with other partners or my on-screen partners to do that. So now I'm... I've got a lucky guy that likes to play a lot and experiment.

So it's nice. It's nice when you're with someone and you can just give them like your complete body and just let them do whatever to you.

So that's the new friend here, intimacy. I think so, because I think it's... Okay, let's take a call. You want to take the call?

Yeah. Hey, Tara. This is Robert and Ken City. How you doing?

That's Robert and Ken City. How are you doing? Tara Patrick is my favorite superstar. My question is, Tara, Patrick,

when you did... Put the headsets on. You have to wear a headset. Oh, is it this one?

Hold on. It's my father. Hold on. No.

There's nothing here. No, you've got to turn it on. You have to turn it on. There's a switch on there.

Somebody help her with that, please? There we go. Okay. My question was...

Can you hear now? Oh, I can hear you now. My question is, when you did your first anal in your movie, was you uncomfortable?

Hell yeah, of course. Of course. That's part of the pleasure is the pain. That's...

For me, anyway, that's why I liked anal sex because when... I can only speak for myself, but anal sex is about submission.

It's about trusting. For me, it's about trusting someone enough to violate you that way. And absolutely, it's painful.

But then comes the pleasure. I mean, I... I like pain. I like pain a lot, so...

Amen. So Robert was a pain... And a women. Was it painful for you, Robert,

when you had your first anal? He's like, no. You've never had anal in your... Oh, Robert.

In Kansas City? Come on. What, are you joking? No.

I'm not joking. I do. I know, I know. I'm gonna tell you this, though.

I do masturbate when I watch a movie, though. Is that right? I do. You better be.

You wouldn't... What would you be doing if you weren't masturbating to my movies? Thing about you.

Wish I had you. Aww. How does that make you feel? Well, I'm there with you.

I'm there with you. Sounds like George Bush or something, doesn't it? I know. It's from nearby, you know.

Is it Texas? Not Texas, but Kansas. Oh. Kansas City, here he comes.

No, we are there together. I'm just a little further away. I'm just kind of... Did you ever wonder about all the sperm

you've pumped out in America? Just the amount? I never thought about it that way, but I remember my first trade show I ever did.

This couple came and they wanted me to sign their baby. And I... Was it alive? Of course.

Yes, yes, yes. And they said, we had our baby. You know, we had our baby. We watched her baby.

Yeah, we had... This is our... And I took a photo with the baby and signed the baby.

So you did sign the baby? I did sign the baby, yeah. I thought, you know, that was their wish.

So wait, how did that relate to the question? So he was having... Well, some sperm pumped out and created this.

Oh, I got it. So that was when I first really realized, oh, wow, people are watching my porn. She was part of the conception.

So it really made me realize, wow, there's a huge... When you do it when... We are all children of sex

and some of us are children of terror. Yeah. But when you do a signing... I love you.

You know, but when you do a signing, when you're signing for hours and there's droves of fans, you're realizing, wow,

all these people have seen me fuck. Suck. Like, they've seen me naked. Like, you're realizing that

and you're going, wow, how many are there? Like, there's a lot of people. So...

Yeah. Well, Robert's one of them. Okay, Robert. Thank you, Robert.

Now you've got the answer to your question. Tell her to come back into our lake because I would like to talk to her again. I will make sure I get to L.A. sometime.

Yeah. We'll send our security team to your house. We know where you live, Robert. You know?

Yeah, that's funny with your story, Tara. I had, when I was feature dancing in The Walking of Wisconsin... I'll talk to you later, Robert.

I had a fan come up to me. He's like, yeah, you were watching one of your movies and we named our daughter, Jocelyn. I'm like, I'm sorry, what?

Yeah. I'm like, on the stage, he's like, it's saying this stuff to me. I'm like, I'm sorry.

I can't help you. You can't hear anything. I'm like, what? You named your daughter, Jocelyn.

You were watching one of my movies and she was going to say, I'm like, I'm sorry. I can't talk to you right now.

Aww. But it's like, he told me the story and it was very sweet because she was there. Back to nursing or midwifing.

Like, his wife was there. Like, his wife was there. It was a really sweet story. Okay.

But it's now time for Agua Shots. I have a question. Agua Shots. Tara.

Tara, I have a question from a porn star fan. Oh, Pant Boy. That's Pant Boy. Yeah, Pant Boy.

He wants to know, what is your favorite Mexican food and favorite type of panties? My favorite.

Okay. My favorite Mexican food. Why? I have him every night.

Oh, here we go. I live with a Mexican. Sausage, maybe. Chorizo.

But panties, you know, honestly, I don't wear panties most of the time. We need a warm cloth, a warm wet cloth. Warm wet towel.

Who's going to get me a warm wet towel? There's so many people standing around here. Did you say tongue or towel? Well, it's kind of...

She's already cleaning herself up. She's like, forget it. Can I ask Jocelyn a question? Can I send this?

Jocelyn? Yeah. Did Tiger talk dirty in bed? And what did he say?

Did it relate to golf? What did he say? It never related to golf. You're going to have to stop running my show for a moment.

I know. I can't help it. You're going to have to stop. You have to because we're going to do...

Oh, shots. Okay, I'm done. Right. Is it cocaine?

Sasha has done it before. Okay. She knows how it's done. Oh, yes.

The ritual of the agua. So, the ritual of the agua is that you take the salt, which is in the little vials, although it looks like cocaine.

It is simple lime salt. Do not snort it or, you know, you'll have a face like Kim's. It'll explode right in your eyes.

So, what you have to do is just put it on a body part and lick it off of that body part. And then you take your shot. And it is agua coca leaf liqueur.

Here we go. The delicious... We're doing it on the hand here. We're very conservative.

Is it conservative night, I guess? A little bit, yeah. You don't do it off of your own hand. No.

No way. It's not going to work. If you do it off of somebody else's hand at least, or boob, or...

You can do it on my boob, because I'm not going to do the shot. How's that? Yeah.

Yeah. Do it on Tara's boob. I love it. You can do it on my boob,

because I can't do the shot. Hold on. Hold on. We have to take the boob out.

Hold on. Boob is coming out. It's a big boob. Drum roll, please.

Yay. They're sponges. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Nice, wow. Wow.

Take the whole thing off. I know. Yeah. Yeah.

Agua shot. This is why I took over my own shot. Yeah, you're doing good. Oh, yeah.

Run of applause. Yeah. Yeah, let's hear some applause for the beautiful Mamma Rea.

Maria she's pepping girls that want some so you might have to have two different yeah I was gonna okay okay here we go to Katie wants the other side okay yeah assisting her there we go it's like meet the press here yeah here we go this is it my position

moment you're in a perfect position actually just right back there is she in perfect position good position or should we do it on the bed yeah let's do it on the bed it's good right here she's fine let's do it let's do it okay but you girls pull your tops down

freezing now I'm like really warm yeah yeah it's hot in here everyone's got some great tips here yeah okay and now they're licking the skin to put the salt on the skin so that it sticks okay and they are definitely relishing this moment of Tara Patrick she's getting a physical memorial intimacy with the soul yes

beautiful cheers cheers cheers I was at school as they say in school school good school school school yeah well that was that was that was very lovely I think Tara Patrick and Sasha sweet and Katie Kim yeah all right so y'all got your shots you don't want a shot you're she doesn't drink anymore are you like

a no not in that cult no your own cult yeah yeah okay do you want a shot after all that yeah okay so who's boobs do you want to lick them off or butt or whatever she's gonna lick it off my ass Sasha Sasha can we get Sasha Sasha you're gonna owe me girl you're gonna owe me for this okay here we go this is

notice how there's a black penis in front what what's the questions are there actually what are the odds of that I also have death here it's a woman it's a nun and that is a nun yes and we have these are made by divine interventions beautiful dildos I like that death yeah fuck yourself with death you could snort it right off her

purebic hair okay what a terrible thing to say how dare I lick that right up get it nice and wet and now on the double hair okay so I'm licking and then yeah you lick and that's a lot of salt you're gonna have to drink a lot too she's gonna take her time with that yes yeah she's really licking it up lime salt yeah this

is the longest drink ever so that's just even started the drink yeah okay here we go now we got the drink down the hatch this is what we do in the ocean with the mermaids I would bring that theme back is it working what do you think I don't know the liquid of the alcohol that's the saliva is wet wow so Tara we have a

request from from a visiting foreign dignitary yeah you have to put your heads well I don't know if you have to put your heads on actually no it's not on the phone actually so it's okay but visiting foreign dignitary that being Malin where's Malin Malin she would like to take her salt off your bountiful

memories now Malin Malin Malin Malin is this is this surprise sex this is not surprise surprise to Tara she didn't know about this but she might like it you surprise sex works okay all right let's do that this is a very important translation we're doing here for the folks at home do try this at home by the

way there's no harm to this it's not like choking any of that other stuff I really easy and here here drink yeah if you don't mind it's corpsies we're all friends here okay so this is Agua coca leaf liquor and this is the process is you get serious it's serious it sounds like a commercial like I do

you are a lucky sweet right no pun intended or no putt intended see it's the green stuff it taught has me all like funny like sometimes surprise sex works in Sweden yeah she's not going back to Sweden I must say Tara Patrick has the nicest boobs I've ever seen up close like honestly I've seen lots of I mean

Sasha's boobs I mean hers are like epic no I said to I said to my girlfriend the day I said I was walking by a mirror and she goes in your boobs entered a full minute before you I mean I told her it's crazy like Taylor Wayne's porn star Taylor yeah you still always have she goes oh y'all tits away bigger than mine

I'm like yours are bigger but they are but I think because she's tinier what I'm a 34 double D and she's the same size but I think because she's like my boobs look miniature compared to yours I think in my head well I'm a double D cup I'm just really small I'm narrow around I got bigger but she I think because she's

5'1 and I'm 5'9 I don't know maybe it just looks bigger on her but her boobs are really like they look big illusion of boobery you know I don't know they look like like 47 triple F mind you yeah that's how it looked to me but I and I haven't even had any agua well no but when I went shopping and I think it's

Argent provocateur I was a double G yeah so I think it's like each cup sizes you know that's why I say in Victoria's Secret I'm a 36 double D yeah let's talk about I love and hate you at the same time but I'm more love have you guys network you know it's every club I've ever featured at you're on the wall

my there's like there's seven pictures of you I'm like I love that page my land my land all in where is she my land all in she's getting over her you know agua shot I gotta where she she's probably just this is give her a maybe have some questions

since corpses taken over my show I know you're wild girl I'm Swedish school school yes yeah except I want to see this couple do agua shots yeah me too right is that Eric and Brittany right we can do that well while you guys are right okay you want to do some agua shots yeah let's

do it okay you go for it and we need some some shot glass here's somebody gets a shot here and Eric is in the band right Eric is in the band okay so we're actually tell me that we're gonna sinister mass Kim what's the band sinister mass dark and dangerous intimate discussion there about whether they

and she's like should I show my boobs yes yes yes make it hot what kind of rock band is that okay we're having some boob action right over here yes such as showing her boobs yeah hello Katie's having her second agua shot here now Katie's here with her fiance here we go we're gonna do a little school moment here

over there okay right there she's school all right go school school well that was very conservative so now you can do it off of his dick yes to make up for it now all right so Katie how where's your fiancée okay well he's getting a girl's phone number right now so Marlon do you have any questions for

us America oh god yeah I have a lot of questions a couple of questions do you have questions for me yeah what's your phone number my phone number oh god no sorry I cannot say that or should I what kind of experience have you had today at the Institute if I should be honest I had no idea what kind of show this would be

and I think it's it's great fun I mean it's it's really a lot of fun yeah yeah would they like it in Sweden probably yeah it's a lot of sex and we love sex so yeah I have a question for you corpse yes I'm right here these corpse what are they made of human flesh of course sorry I have a question for you plastic like

the rest of the toxins in this I have a question for the speed okay question for this week what do Swedish men do different in bed than American men actually I only had one American man let's not talk about that I'm embarrassed to I don't want to go there how about are you ever been with a Swedish woman oh that's yes

thank you thanks for playing thanks for playing that's great thank you thank you for that look when the eyes roll up when the eyes roll you're done what do you like about vagina what do you like about vagina what do I like with a vagina no what do you like about a vagina you've seen a couple of them tonight and then

there's your own believe me I've seen a lot that's kind of my job and it's kind of my job as well I think you're beautiful and there are yeah I think they're cool like you want to hang out like they're cool like you want to hang out and get a drink with it or what do you mean how to cool how a drink with my vagina yeah but

well cool how cool cuz you like you look at it Jimmy use a mirror I'm taking over a show again I'm gonna shut up my my guest Jocelyn James has been wonderful and and I love sweet great I love everyone getting her pussy done but I mean when when tiger was exposed for and let me set the record straight I

didn't tell on me right somebody told on me right and there were lots of lies in my hoe ass sister that fucked my husband that gave me chlamydia when I was pregnant with our second child okay just let you all know that's only sexually transmitted disease I ever had was from my husband who got it from

my sister yeah right so let me understand it was the wife of Tiger Woods the only sweet okay the only sexually transmitted disease was the kid no was the chlamydia that my ex-husband got from my sister wait your ex-husband had sex with your sister married sister get it from well okay see like let me tell

y'all the story okay she was in the military well she came out to you know to Washington State and Seattle whatever and she had it partaked in some extracurricular activities with what she could remember as 37 people I'm like she was there for less than 30 days like really how could you do that and you

back to Tiger Woods but yeah I was pregnant and yeah and so you are from Sweden and did you identify do you hate me actually yes I did actually but I mean he had so many women right it wasn't no no but yeah but what did you think I mean you knew he had a wife oh well I knew he had a wife like I said I don't think he

remembered he had a wife and I tried to get away from him but he kept on showing up at my job showing up at my house finding out my phone number because okay I didn't say it but you did maybe he was just like this is the best vagina I couldn't get enough champion goes for what he wants and that was obviously what he

wanted he wanted the cookie right it's a pretty cookie you can't have a lot of trophies when he was with me actually have you talked to Eileen after actually she showed we have her here Eileen say it right Eileen Eileen I'm sorry but she actually showed up when I was feature dancing at the pink pony in Atlanta

and I didn't found out if like she came in right when I was getting on the stage and what did she do I do I don't know like I didn't find out about him till about it like a month later that she had showed up and wanted to talk to me was this like she had gone to two she had caught she had gone to two other two or

three other strip clubs before she found that I was at the pink pony but you never talked no Susan so do you want to say something for now you know I've said you know I've always kept my line of communication open if there was ever anything that she wanted to know because you know you know she should

say to her now because this is going to play in Sweden and she might be watching well I believe that she is happily divorced like I am okay I concur sister to sister I will be celebrating my five-year anniversary of my divorce on November 26 good for you and I mean there's not much she can complain about

in the divorce I mean the woman she made some books I wouldn't even say that like honestly like sad it's a sad thing to have to go through but I mean what you know what did she lose out of it she was actually completely disrespected and lied to and I feel really sorry for her if I was strong enough at the time I

would have never done what I did well I really wish that she would have you it wouldn't have made a difference because there was so many other women gained wealth and she lost a lying betraying honestly like if you've never been married and you don't have children you don't really understand that money can't

buy money can't fix it money can't fix it money can't fit the disrespect the public this has become an episode of Mori honestly I wish that none of that I honestly I wish that none of that would have happened but for me for me and him to stop officially stop that's what had to happen but I'm extremely

apologetic to her and I wish that and for her and Sam and Charlie that it never happened did you know about all the other women no cuz he told me I was the only one besides his wife how about the men there's a rumor there's a rumor that he he likes a good six iron hey you know when you like a lot of say she's

not a comment okay no comment it's very interesting that's a good one though you know when you like variety you like variety and I mean I'm one that never has thought that he was a sex addict I think he's just a guy that likes to have a lot of sex and and doesn't know how to stop his motto was just fuck it

actually that's what I sign on the golf balls when people bring me golf balls are like just fuck it tiger day too bad he just couldn't be an ethical hedonist you know and try to be honest about it she if he had just you know that there's lots of polyamorous relationships if he had maybe opened up

and said hey you know what this is something that I'm interested in she still hit him with the golf club the thing is like some husbands and wives they don't feel that they can come to their wife and say like this is what I want to do to you because they feel that it'll be disrespecting the mother of

their children I don't really get it because I'm kind of a girl that's like I want my man to be satisfied and I'll do whatever my man wants me to so that he stays home I'm gonna take all the come out of him so he can't go anywhere else I heard about that in that yeah yeah yeah and you suck as cock after he comes or

he's gonna choke you or something like that that's beautiful right so after we we're we're gonna close up pretty soon of the talking part of the show and we're gonna have a band and Kim Wow is going to introduce this band yes I am let us know a little bit about this band the girl who discovered the band is Brianna

in the blonde hair Brianna yeah in the blonde hair I produce her records and I met her at the gay parade with a lesbian camera crew and I was in mommy makeup that day and she called me and she sang over the phone and she became a radio actress on Sirius XM 21 Saturday and Sundays which we're on you have an

eye and an ear yes and then she told me about dangerous cock from Florida and then there was the Hollywood sexual underground opened up and all of a sudden these guys leaped out of a vulva called a furniture built of blood and pus it was right on a dance floor it was kind of interesting and they slid out and said

we are product male a cock ready to come on the face of the world and guys were biased beer so I said where are you from or from alligator alley in Florida what do you stand for pain and suffering joy and happiness in salvation and the affection of dream and illusion I said fine you have any good songs and they did

we put them in the studio they sound good of course they're on Facebook as name the group yell it out when you're 50 years old where you'll be bald and stupid or you'll still be God they're good guys they're they have brains and they inflict entertainment don't do

an Amy Winehouse on us oh my god well you know a lot of brilliant people do one thing because I'm one more thing very important all these wonderful people are going to be at meltdown comics we're having a huge Friday night Friday August 12th Jocelyn James and Tara Patrick and Kim of Fowley also we have William

Lustig William Lustig who did maniac the movie and we have all these sex and metal and urban death and and hers is and it's gonna be crazy Dr. Susan Block is going to be there you can meet her in person in a amazing motor coach Obama used to be Obama's campaign bus

an amazing motor coach that we are riding in which is sitting down Dwayne is here Dwayne is here we're gonna go look at it later in the after party but it's it's just so elegant and amazing you could die in it and be happy it's to die for so you're all gonna be there and it's from 7 10 and it's I think 7 5 5 2 Sunset

Boulevard Friday August 12th meltdown comics be there and meet all these people Susan Block will squirt on your magazine for you 75 22 meltdown comics on Sunset Boulevard by Gardner and Sunset 75 22 Sunset just be there it's no cover there's fun it'll be crazy and Tara Patrick and Jocelyn James Wow

incredible night thank you okay so before we end this portion of the evening we want to hear from everybody we basically have heard enough girls and corpses calm I'm done yeah okay girls and corpses calm and that's spelling out the end you've got to get on Twitter though I know and and now we want to hear where

we can find you on the internet well I don't have a membership site but you can find all the naughty Texas at Sexton Jocelyn James calm right which I'm getting ready to change but you can find me on Twitter which I can be like as naughty as I can be without showing my parts at Jocelyn underscore James JOS

LYN underscore James harder and you can find me on Facebook even though there are a lot of stuff it there's a lot of fake ones but I'm the one on the laptop with my afro white girl afro nice like I'm being naughty the nice girl naughty white girl wasted okay so and thank you for sharing your lovely Volvo with us and

getting my cookie I had mine done James has my if I would have known I would have shaved I would have been appropriate he ran away with your cookie never vagina can you bring Dr. Blocker vagina bring me my vagina please on a silver platter with it with a apple in it with a twist put an apple in its mouth here it comes

ladies and gentlemen the vagina forever mortalized by James Spinner show that up wow that's beautiful that's nice very small and and lovely could you pass that over to me a second pass that around it's like Passover we're each gonna pass it all right so so thank you very much so Tara Patrick that's where we find your

porn now where do we find your horror well I'll be releasing the movie probably around December in North America so but I'm going to bring you a copy of my memoirs and her takes all okay some Tara clothing and shirts and lingerie awesome can we see it in Europe wow yes yes you can yes that's great and well Katie how

did you slide in there she had to run off but I believe her Twitter is Sasha sweet triple X like three X's behind it you can see me in a movie with Johnny Depp and Keanu Reeves at Sundance it's called Sunset Strip it's a documentary about Hollywood Paris Hilton Sharon Stone Mickey Rourke and me drop those names right

and yeah that'll be January at Sundance and you can hear me on the radio Saturday 9 to 1 on Sirius XM 21 12 to 3 on Sunday going into Monday and I'm Kim k.i.m. f o w l a y on Facebook all right where can we find where can we find canal 5 and oh canal 5 yeah you will find it on canal 5 or 5 dot s e and the documentary is

called Fråga Olle and you're you're the on-air personality right yes yeah you get dirty notes in the show oh no they're more like okay put on your clothes well we're here we're like take off your clothes sorry but my son burn is stop it that's my story it's true though drop trial then it's time

I drop trial let's see the cookie how do you say pussy in Swedish it depends I would say fifty fifty feet but I think the word you're looking for it's pizza pizza great it's not a nice word though show your feet the exactly that you kiss they all you very oh thank you I say show your feet that that

sounds like your feet feet feet I was like Peta it's like the order in In Italian, it's figa. Oh, like a muff. Wait, how do you say anal sex?

Anal sex. Anal sex? The Swedish and English dirty talk lessons will continue after the program. I feel like it's just got violated by a word.

You and me in the bar, I think. Okay, I could do that. Yeah. You can have a vicarious feeling like you're meeting with Aline.

And you're really, you know... Elin. Elin. Elin.

Okay, I'll get it. If you say it three times, she appears. Be very careful. I'm not scared.

All right, well, I just want to wind it up here for the talking portion of the show. We're going to then dissipate into craziness. But I want you to be good,

those of you who are listening or watching in your home, your mansion on a hill, or your cardboard box, wherever you are. I want you to make like bonobos, not baboons, okay?

Right, the make love, not war, chimpanzee. Make love, not war, okay? I mean, sex and death, it's all very erotic. But drop bras, not bombs, okay?

Or panties. Or drop panties. Or trowel. Or trowel, you know, whatever you can drop to give yourself a thrill.

You know, whatever, it's like Tara Patrick, who got into porn so that she wouldn't be a serial killer. You know, I mean, you know, I mean... We got to use the sex we got to channel our violent natures.

We are violent, crazy people, we humans. And we got to get inspired by the bonobos to practice ethical hedonism and the bonobo way and channel that crazy, destructive, mad, choking side of us

into love and pleasure and choking for some people. But, okay, obviously for John. But for everyone, I want you to make love, not war, make love to someone you love tonight.

Even if that someone is you. Or dead. I love you. Or dead.

Oh, yeah, baby. Not it. That's what I'm talking about. And you've been listening to Radio Suzy 1 on the World Wide Web.

Yummy. And we are the forefront of the revolution. We are the revolution because we're going to have an American spring just like the Arab spring.

And we're going to spring out and we're going to take them all down and create a new world of sex. From our house to your house, thank you for having us. Yeah.