Sex, Toys & Rock ‘n Roll

Full transcript of Sex, Toys & Rock ‘n Roll on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

Need to talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else? You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves, but my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy over the phone.

Anytime you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination, my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you, role-play for you, fantasize with you, no fantasy is too taboo, and help you with anything from impotence to

exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. For more information, call us at 213-291-9497. That's 213-291-9497 anytime you need to talk. You're listening to Radio Susie One on the World Wide Web, and now here she is, Dr. Susan Block.

Brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, artists and exhibitionists,

lawyers and connoisseurs, rock stars and porn stars, playboys and playgirls, and playmates, and play dates. No one under 18, though.

All you children of sex, all you adults children of sex, and we all are children of sex. We may or may not be children of God. We don't know. We may or may not be children of Jesus.

We may or may not be children of, I don't know I alohano, I don't know I ahad. Allah, Brahma, Ramadhamma,

Buddha, the goddess. We don't know, but until we start cloning ourselves, we are all children of sex with a capital X. Can I hear an amen? Can I hear an A-women? I want to welcome you

to the womb room of Dr. Susie Speakeasy in the soul of downtown LA. And the irreverent Dr. Susan Block, your servant and your mistress. Of the airwaves,

where we are broadcasting live right now on the World Wide Web, World Wide Revolution! World Wide sexual

revelation. And tonight's revelation is sex toys. Can I hear an amen? Amen. For the groupies. Oh, they're female rock and rollers.

But it's a lot of boys playing for girls. Oh, yeah, baby. Which is really kind of appropriate this time of year. Rock and roll appropriate?

Well, it is the autumnal equinox, if you're listening to us live, or if you've sprung from membership, you could be watching. And it is the autumnal equinox.

Fall equinox and the yeah, the moon is falling sooner and the sun is coming up later.

The nights are growing longer. And we need to comfort ourselves because it's scary. And you know, fear is a great acrodisiac. So we comfort ourselves with sex.

And sometimes if you don't have a partner with sex toys, or even if you do have a partner, sex toys are such a comfort. And rock and roll.

Yeah. Very comforting. Right here. And

it's all very ancient, you know. Pre-ancient, prehistoric, pre-human, in fact. Yeah. Pre-human. Well, sex, of course, is pre-human. I mean, sex is pre-animal, pre-vegetable. I mean, it's like cellular, you know, it's that splitting off thing and merging.

It's very basic. So sex is like as basic as you can get. Maybe right next to eating and breathing. And then toys. Well, we might think we invented toys, we humans.

And I must admit, we're pretty clever with the toys. I mean, we've made some pretty amazing toys that our fellow animals probably aren't that interested in. Well, they might be actually. Actually, you know what? They do like these toys and they invent their own. I mean, bonobos.

You know, they'll just if they're lonely or maybe as just an aide, they might just rub against a tree branch or leaves. And I've seen them in the zoo rub up against a big rubber ball and go bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce right up against the big, big

vulva that they have, that big pink vulva. So they're playing with sex toys. Uh, you know, I don't know if anybody's ever given a vibrator to a bonobo. I'm so evil. Yeah, but I can. I would think they would like it.

I don't know. But, you know, when I saw Lana actually years ago at the San Diego Zoo, she was bouncing the ball right up against her big pink vulva. And it was definitely a sex toy, right?

Just like these drumsticks. Oh, which reminds me of music. Yeah, these aren't real drumsticks. These are vibrators, but real drumsticks.

You think humans invented those? I don't know. I don't know. I've seen bonobos, common chimps, even monkeys go bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, you know, on like a hollow log that makes a sound.

And of course, if you know, Kanzi, the genius bonobo that Sue Savage Rumball works with, he plays with Peter Gabriel. Now, he does. He plays music with Peter Gabriel.

And, you know, where does he get that rhythm? I mean, I think a lot of animals have rhythm. I think music is one of those basic things. And what did Darwin say about music?

Does anybody know? Theistic pansexual, pan-loving. And pan, of course, played an instrument, flutes. And, yeah, Darwin said, what is the purpose of music?

What is the purpose? What do we have music for? You think it's to, you know, stir the soul? I don't know.

That's kind of airy, fairy stuff. How about march into war? I think that's Republican stuff, actually. I don't think we invented war that early on.

I think music came before war. So what did we invent music for? Why music? Well, Darwin said for sex.

It's not me. I know I'm, I got a dirty mind. But Darwin said that music is for courtship. It's to let us see how fit you are,

whether you're fit enough to play for us, and whether you can seduce us with the right rhythms. So, you know, sex, toys, and rock and roll. They really hit you deep in your reptile brain.

This is my co-host, Evie, and she always responds to music and sex. I don't know. She doesn't like vibrators too much. This is not on.

But she loves to ride around, and she responds to rhythms. So, speaking of music and toys, sex, toys, and rock and roll, my featured guest tonight is, well, you could say, Mr. Sex, Toys, and Rock and Roll. And he is Phil Varone.

So, welcome him, brothers and sisters. Hey. Hey. Thank you.

Well, here you are. I'm here. You are. And I'm so excited because you are such a multifaceted man.

My goodness. Hmm. Hmm. Well, I mean, drummer, okay?

Yes. That's why we have the drumsticks. And these are vibrators, which leads us to the other thing. They are.

You're a sex toy king now. Well, I don't know about king. I'm just starting. But I'm trying to be.

You've got a whole line. I do. We have a good, it's actually called the Sex, Toy, and Rock and Roll collection. Hmm.

So. And just in case, you know, you people don't have your Rock and Roll background, our Phil Varone here, he was a drummer with Skid Row and Saigon Kick. Right.

And I hear there might be some news. Yes. We're actually reuniting Saigon Kick after 20 years of hating each other. Wow.

So we're doing that. That's the other side of love. Yeah. No, we've had some differences to say the least.

And I think we become wiser with age. Some of us. Yeah. So with that, we decided that the fans have spoke and we want to play and we're going to do it.

So we're going to start at the end of November of this year. So we're pretty excited about that. I think they're after your Sex, Toys, Myself. Oh, yeah.

I don't know. Sex, Toy, King, you know. I think they're kind of dissing themselves from that. That often happens with sex.

Yeah. I've always been the one to kind of, you know, jump into the fire and take chances. I don't regret and I don't apologize. I have fun.

Yeah. Do they have fun too? But they just don't want to publicize? I guess they have fun in their own way.

You know, I'm more of like the bucket list guy. Yeah. So it's like doing Playgirl, doing a celebrity sex tape, doing a toy line, and now a Swinger series.

It's, you know, I'm having fun. You know, there's nothing wrong with it. Now your celebrity sex tape. Yeah.

Tell me about that. Well, it was originally presented as some of my, you know, antics on the road, but it ended up turning into kind of like a look into my life because I've been in the lifestyle for 20 plus years.

The lifestyle meaning. Swinging, you know, open relationships. Now is that the rock and roll lifestyle? It's people's fantasy of it, but it isn't really.

It's just, I don't know. Well, with music, you have opportunity. And opportunity. Groupies.

Yes. If you want to call, I don't even call them groupies because I think they groupies such a, like a bad word in some case. Yeah, maybe it is.

And I think it's, I just call them girls having fun because if I can have sex with famous people, I would too. And I wouldn't be a groupie technically because I'm a man. I would be more of a slut in that sense.

Okay. They call men sluts that have sex with a lot of people. Well, we could call them sluts and then we could have a walk for them,

but I don't know if that's any better than groupies. I just think that there's nothing bad about having sex. I mean, if you're doing it in a safe way and you're not doing anything weird or illegal in a sense,

then have sex and have fun. Girls having fun is a little bit, you know, like not really there. I think we should reform the word groupie just like we've done with slut, right?

I mean, we're doing, it's still in process. Well, I mean, groupie to me is, if you're going to use it, I use it in a good way. I think the world needs groupies if you want to use groupies

because as a kid growing up, that was our fantasy, sex, drugs, and rock and roll. So I had the opportunity to do it and especially coming from a childhood

where I wasn't popular in high school. How dumb! Well, because I had feathered hair and a bad mustache. So maybe it was my fault.

Yeah, you made that. But I could tell you this. After my first reunion, my first 10-year reunion, I actually went in with the number one video on MTV

and the middle fingers were up and I got to fuck whoever I wanted. So that was pretty good, including the prom queen. And your fantasy girls, like cheerleaders, prom queens.

Exactly. That's what happened. So it took me 10 years, but I got everyone back. But again, I don't apologize.

I'm just having fun. I think that in the United States we're a little uptight with sex. But didn't you apologize?

Not apologize, but let's just say you changed the sex drugs and rock and roll to sex toys and rock and roll. And so the drug thing,

I mean you went on that reality show, Dr. Drew, rehab. What is it? What's it called?

Rehab? Is that what it's called? Celebrity rehab. Celebrity rehab.

Not just any rehab. Celebrity rehab. Celebrity rehab. Because everything is so real in reality.

Oh my God. So tell me about that. Do your bandmates, how do they feel about that as opposed to the sex toys?

I don't care how they feel about it because if they're going to judge me about on that I have no interest in speaking to them. People who know me as a person,

as you know in this business, the show business, the first word is show. It's a big show. It's smoke and mirrors.

You give them what they want to see and what they want to hear. And especially with social media, so many famous people are famous for nothing.

Like I just saw something in the news about Cato Kalen again, being famous for being a servant and doing nothing.

And that's how America kind of perceives people because they're on television. I was a little bit blank when you said Cato Kalen. Now I remember OJ's roommate or something.

His whatever, assistant. So only in America can you get famous for doing nothing. Kardashians, the people who do these reality shows. They got some hips.

And they have a celebrity sex tape. Is that nothing? Which is a snooze fest. If you've ever seen it, it's awful.

I didn't think anybody can have worse sex than Paris Hilton until I saw Kim Kardashian's. You know, it's not fair when they just have a camera on in the corner of a room

as our presidential candidate from the Republican Party could also attest to. It's too bad they didn't do a celebrity sex tape with him instead of that. Oh my God.

It would be like a mannequin having sex. Yeah, well that's probably true. It'd be awful. Then again, it could not.

Maybe he dresses up as a woman and she follows him around and bangs him in the ass but it's too good a deal though.

Or maybe they bear those Mormon dresses and it's very ritualistic and you know, eerie and stuff. The prophet told me to put this in your ass.

That kind of thing. Yeah. That's cool. Hey man, whatever works for people.

Whatever does. Well, you know, we have a lot more to talk about but I want to introduce some of my other guests so they can share in the unveiling of the dick.

So Dong, excuse me. So Kylie is here. Kylie Johnson. Yeah, right.

Yes, yes, Kylie Johnson. I got it right. And she is the Playboy Centerfold from February 2011.

So we're very excited to have you here, Kylie. Thanks. I'm excited to be here. Yeah, we've heard a lot of good things about you.

You have a lot of very enthusiastic, or actually one in particular, enthusiastic Twitter fan that just is pumping you up.

Which one? I don't remember his name but you know who you are, guy. L.A. California male or something.

You know, something maybe like that. Yeah, you got some good fans or groupies maybe. Any of them groupies?

I wouldn't call them groupies. No, no. You ever have sex with a fan? I have not, actually.

That would make them a groupie. I think that would be the crossover from fan to groupie. Right, none that I know of.

I mean they could be undercover. Yeah, that's true. Well, I would hope that some of the people you've had sex with are actual fans of yours.

Oh, of course. I'm a huge fan, by the way. Oh, here's a groupie, a potential groupie. I'll be a groupie.

He would be a groupie. I'll be a groupie, too. That's role play. Rockstar groupie, I'll be the groupie.

Yeah, of course. I'm more of like the groupie because I like the music. You play the music.

Yeah, that's a no brainer. You dance to the music? Yeah, of course. Right, of course.

I'm going to the Manson Rob Zombie Concert this weekend. Oh, okay, except they're not here right now. Yeah, probably nothing like this guy, right? Well, it's a similar genre, I guess.

Yeah, okay. So where are you from? New York, upstate New York, right outside Buffalo. And what brought you to the Playboy family?

I actually went to a casting call. That was a couple hours away. Well, how organized of you? Yeah, and they just took a liking and flew me out to LA

and I shot my centerfolds. Wow. Well, we have two centerfolds next to each other. I'm not sure what that's about.

And he's also going to do a Playboy radio show, Phil, is, right? Yeah. And I'm going to be on, and I think you're going to be on the first show.

I hope so. Right? October 5th. I'm going to call him.

It's going to premiere on Playboy radio. Yeah. And so what's life after Playboy like? Are you still working with Playboy?

Yes, I am actually going to the Dominican Republic for a photo shoot. The Dominican Republic? Yeah. I've heard about all kinds of crazy sex over there.

Yeah, I'm sure there is. It's very romantic. Is it? Yeah.

Punta Cana? Yeah. Well, I'm sure you're going to take pictures. Oh, of course.

Okay. So you model and do photo shoots and do porn? No, I haven't. Modeling.

Nude modeling. Nude modeling. I can't stand how it goes. What do you want to be when you grow up?

That's a hard one. I guess at the end of the day, maybe a nurse, but... That's right. Yes.

A nurse. You're actually taking some nursing classes, aren't you? Yeah. I'm about a semester away.

Whether you become a nurse or not, you know, who knows? I mean, you never know what's going to happen, but it's hot. Just to think of you becoming a nurse. Of course.

Because, I mean, nurses are just so important and they touch you and they feel you and they nurture you. They take care of you. They take care of you and they save your friggin' life.

Yes. They're great people, nurses. And they're usually very sexual people, too. Yes.

Well, I'm very sexual, so... Are you? Yeah. Of course.

How sexual are you? I don't know. Is there a scale? Think about that.

I'm going to now introduce my girlfriend, Tara. She's at the stripper pole table. How many radio stations have a stripper pole in the middle of the station? Can I get on that?

You can. You can. Later. Later.

Later. Later. I just... You should say hello.

Tara Lynn Fox Brothers and Sisters is back in the Speakeasy Cathedral. Can we have some applause for my girl? Yeah. Yeah.

And, boy, you were here a couple years ago? It looks completely different. We were out there. Yeah.

We were over there and it was completely different. I think this place was filled with boxes. You know, we just kind of moved in here a couple years ago. So, and here we are now.

You know, we've got the stage, the stripper pole, you know, and everything. And you've got the monkey bars. You're Miss Monkey Bars now. Oh, I don't know about Miss Monkey Bars, but I am a monkey bars model, so it's fun.

It's exciting. Do you like to use the monkey bars? I've used them a couple of times now, and I wish I could shoot every single scene with them. Really?

But I can't. Well, you, I mean, why? What is it about the monkey bars that turns you on? I mean, does it turn you on?

Are you just like the way they look on you? Have you used them yet? I have. I have my own reasons for liking them or not.

I like them because the constriction that they have on me and how it pushes down on my G-spot and the better grip that you get. And also the different positions.

I just like the thing. Oh, that was interesting. It pushes down on your G-spot. Yeah, I was there.

I think of it as more like a corset. It kind of pulls your stomach in, which has its benefits. Yeah, I like that too. You know, it's like...

You can't see like if I'm, you know, doggie or something, your stomach lays down a little bit. Right, right. You got it, you know, it pulls you right in there.

No, but it's an amazing product, and I'm glad to be on the team now. Yeah, yeah, it brings people together, for sure. We love monkey bars.

I've got like two of them here. I know, I see that, that's awesome. I do. I have one set with my name here.

Whoa. I have my snake here. I like that. You do.

Do you want a holder? Can I? You're not... Have you held reptiles before?

Yeah. Right. Do you like snakes? No.

Okay, did you hold her just for a minute? I'm just going to let you hold her for a minute, so maybe somebody can take a picture of you holding my beautiful snake,

Eve, in the Garden of Eden, near now. Can I? Yeah, yeah, put her around your neck.

She's very... She loves that. Oh, this is all... Yeah, okay.

So... Oh, cool. She is, isn't she? So besides monkey bars,

you're also going to Germany, aren't you? Yay! First time I... Well, okay, I went to the Bahamas before,

but that doesn't really count. So I'm going overseas with monkey bars to the Venus show in Berlin. The Venus show?

Yeah. Ooh. Now, that's like a sex film show or a toy show?

It's kind of, um... Where are you going? I don't think she likes me. Here.

Come to Mama, baby. No, she likes the monkey bars. Well, you know, a lot of girls do. So, okay.

Look at her. Yeah, here she goes. Come on. She wants to climb the stripper pole now.

She is... Whoa, okay, here we go. Come to Mama, baby. There we go.

So you're going to the Venus show, which is like a sex toy show. Yeah, it's a fan show as well for people out on that side of the world.

It's kind of our equivalent to AVN. But I think it's a lot bigger. Wow. I've never been.

We'll find out. Okay. That is exciting. Well, welcome back to the show.

Thanks for having me back. Thank you. Beautiful. And here's Kim.

Kim Candy is back. Hi. And she's sucking on candy, of course. Yeah.

And you dyed your hair. Looks good. Thank you. Got a new color.

Thank you. Yeah. Very fall. Fall season, you know.

The autumnal equinox, yes. And your friend, C... D... D...

D... Okay, DD. I know it was something like CCDD. Yeah.

ABCD. Right. Well, you are a pitch hitter guest. Yeah.

Right. And welcome back. Thank you. Okay.

You like sex toys? We love sex toys. I love sex toys. I don't know about her.

You don't know about her, even though she's your best friend. I mean, I don't know what she does on her. Sex time? No, but we got you a little closer last time.

Did you continue that? No. Do you remember that? I don't even remember that.

Yeah. Yeah. You did some titty licking between friends. Right.

Right. I mean, and you just ignored that since then, huh? You haven't even brought it up. No.

No? Okay. That's cool. Yeah.

Not because it's awkward, but I mean, we just never had a chance to talk about it. I'm just going to... It was fun. We had a good time here last time.

Yeah. Yeah. I saw that. I know I encouraged it a little bit.

You went beyond my encouragement. And that's cool. That's great. You know?

And it's also great that you don't do it or you do do it, whatever you want to do. Yeah. Yeah. Keep sucking on that lollipop though.

All right. So I think I'm going to get, put Evie away because she's starting to get a little rambunctious. And who wants to put her away? Where is one of my Evie people?

You can put her away. You know how to put her away. This is Beasley the snake handler. Yes.

He handles all kinds of snakes. Now speaking of snakes, there is another kind of snake we call the trouser snake. And yes, we have an assortment of sex toys. I've introduced my first round of guests.

I have some other guests that are going to come up once they've gotten a few drinks into them or something a little later. But right now, these are my guests. And Phil has a whole line of sex toys from California Novelties, which is run by women. Yes.

Right. Yeah, Susan. Yeah. It's kind of cool.

And so, you know, we got the drumsticks here, which is a kind of a nice, whoops, no. Yeah. It's a vibration. Feels good.

Yeah. Nice. You know, it's like playing me like an instrument or playing me with an instrument. You know, it works.

And then we have, are you ready? Get a drum roll. Get a drum roll. The drum roll.

Oh, it's a plastic though. Let me try to get it out of the plastic. I want to bring it. It's sort of like it's in a condom or something.

But okay. Safe packaging. Yes, exactly. You know it hasn't been anywhere.

Okay. Here it comes. Here it comes. This is the Phil Verone Dong.

Come on. I got to get a round of applause for this. Jesus. It took years to grow that.

Look at this and it sticks. Listen, I was having a bad ball day. I'm telling you right now. Okay.

I'm sorry about that. Right? Is that really it? That's really it.

Yeah. Well, this one is actually ours. But it's modeled on his. Yes.

So I hear. It's an odd. Tell us about how you did this. Well, it's, you basically work up a hard on.

Especially can. I guess so. And you put it in this tube and it's very embarrassing. And they put this dental type of stuff on it that hardens in three minutes.

So you kind of sit there with the guy that's molding and just have really awkward conversations. Right. And that's about it. And then you go home and they give you all these different measurements to take.

And you just measure it from all different angles and hardnesses and diameters. And you send the measurements in and then they put it together for you. They sculpt it. They sculpt it.

It's not like you do one, a sort of a cast. No, it's as funny as it is. These guys are like artists because they sculpt it out of clay. It's called a clay.

So they called me in and I checked out the clay. Because one of the things I wanted to make sure is that it looks like that. Because the last thing I wanted to do is have sex with someone. And they're like, you're dildos bigger than you.

So, yeah. You know. Right. It's very intimidating.

And what's cool about it is I finally got to see what the girl's view is of this thing coming at them. Which is frightening. It's a very frightening view. But yeah, I wanted to make sure that it was.

But here can be an aphrodisiac. And I also didn't realize I went to the left so much. Is it the left or is it the right? You got to look at it head on.

It goes to the left from your point of view. Yeah, it's a little weird. And you got this vein. I do.

And unfortunately, I have the, as what everyone calls it, you're trying to put a coke can in me. I have that action. What is the measurement?

I don't know what they have. What that one is exactly. I don't know. But it's six and three quarters around is the thickest part.

Yep. Which is the center. Like if you went up and I think this seems thinner than down here. Yeah.

And from the suction cup to the top is nine and three and a quarter. But they add because of the balls. So these are some balls. Yeah.

Ladies, right. I mean, speaking of a women's eye view, I mean, what do you ladies think? So from the balls up is really where you're at.

Is this your usual partner or different? That's pretty big. That'd probably kill me. I hit everything going in.

Everything. That's what's great about girth. You just push it through and everything gets hit. Like a missile.

Yeah. It's like a snow plow. Basically. There's no room.

Wow. And you have a ring like this. I do. Can we see?

Sure. Right now? The ring? Yeah.

Yeah. Well, all right. You know, I love it when my guests are so forward and. Well, I mean, I'm not hard, but I could show the ring.

Sure. Well, you should come up here though. Okay. Okay.

And we have a microphone. All right, ladies. You ladies are very just demanding. And I like that.

I like that. Yeah. We're going to interview your penis now. Holding on for dear life.

Oh, here we go. Oh, you are a grower. That's for sure. You're definitely a grower.

Yeah. Wow. So that's the ring though. Yeah.

Did that hurt? I see. But you know what? That looks like it wouldn't hurt.

So this one seems like it should. She looks like it hurts so she broke it. Yeah. Because I have a hoop in mind now and they put this kind of horseshoe

thing in. Oh, okay. Yeah. So you just got to screw it back on.

You're the screw. That's very true. I mean, just it really is for parties, honestly. And when I got this thing pierced, it's not that practical

because when you. Oh, I think this comes because so you take it off. You could take it off like that. Because it comes off easy.

Or put it around like that, which might. Yeah, that would hurt. That would hurt more. But like really when you're having sex with it and it's

into condom, it kind of hurts. So it's not really that practical. However, Right.

When I did get it, I was out on the road and I tried to lift 10 pounds of apples with my cock. Wow. The piercing.

And that did not work. In a bag? You had. Yeah, like we had a, we had a bust full of fans and there's

like a door to the back room. So I just hooked it up to my dick and I like that. I just ripped it out. So that wasn't smart either.

So. How do you feel when you watch people do things to your dick? It's very strange when I do, when I do like appearances

at sex stores and the girls are like doing what you're doing. It's, it is a little weird, you know? Cause I mean.

It's almost like it's your double. It's like, do you feel like it's like your twin? Or do you feel a little something? Well, and it's weird cause I'm standing right here.

So technically you can have the real thing, but you want to play with that. But it's also weird signing your own cock. I mean, I've spent years signing records.

And you know, posters or whatever, but never like, can you sign your cock to my mom? I want you to sign this cock actually. Yeah.

Yeah. I didn't know you signed cock. Well, on the drumsticks, I'm such a narcissist that I actually have my signature on the drumsticks.

Yeah. So we can go in and out of it. You can see my signature. But yeah.

Okay. You should definitely sign the cock. Right. Do you have to use indelible ink, I guess?

We should get a sharpie. Yeah. Yeah. Would you still use it though?

My name on it? Yeah. Maybe you could sign the balls. The balls.

I was just thinking sign the balls. Like right around here. No. You don't want to sign that hard.

That's what I was saying. It's like a frightening. Or you could sign back here. That's coming at you at all times.

Well, this was a vibrating one. I have the non-vibrating one as well. So whatever. Oh, the vibrating one is great.

Yeah. I like versatility. Yeah. What are you girls?

Do you like vibrators or just dildos? Vibrators. Vibrators. Vibrators.

I don't personally vibrate. However. Only when I come. Well, if you wear any one of those cock rings that vibrate.

Now you have a cock ring here but it doesn't vibrate. And you have this. What else do we have? You have this little black heart.

Now, this is for a girl to wear, right? Yeah, you wear it. It doesn't have the remote. But you wear this and you can basically just put it on,

put your underwear on and go to, did I say underwear? God, I'm so old. Your panties.

And you can go to work and just come all day and no one will ever know. Which is very cool. Have you ever had one of these? No, I actually haven't.

Yeah. Have you ever had one of these? No. Really?

Yes. Well, I'm just going to ask. Fine. Who would put it on?

I'll give it to you. It has like a vibrating bullet in it. Yeah. And it's made out of rubber and you put it on like a pair of panties

and then it would just go right over your, you know, right over the clit area. And it would just vibrate. So you could set the vibration.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. But no one sees it, which is cool. So while you're like grocery shopping, you could be coming down the hole, you know, milk aisle or whatever.

I vote her. You think you're voting? You want to do it? We're voting.

But he said it doesn't have a remote. So how's it going to vibrate? Well, and again, some of them have remotes, but you kind of do it.

It's like you do it yourself. So you are in control. It's your dirty secret. Can I see it?

You know, it's your dirty secret. Get it to me. Go, go, go. Come on.

Put it on. What do you got to lose? What do I got to lose? Right.

It's going to look great on you. And you'll get to do a strip tease to a Saigon kick song. Yeah. And you could be coming the whole time.

I heard about those people on Twitter. You what? And you could put monkey bars on. You do what?

Monkey bars. Yeah, let's do it. Here we go. All right.

So I heard about them. You heard about them on Twitter? Yeah. So the first Saigon kick song we're going to hear,

I have to say, is a little bit like narcissistic for me. I mean, I'm sure you wrote it for me. I did. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. And you even spelled my name right. You see that?

It's definitely for you. It's called Susie. So here we go. And we're going to see Tarlyn Fox.

What am I doing? She's going to get up. She's going to stand up. She's going, she wanted to get up after the dessert.

Yeah. And what's the song? She had a dream of what she could not tell. She only guarantees it'll take you straight to hell.

Woo-hoo. Saigon kick, brothers and sisters. And now we have Phil Varone from Saigon kick, who is trying to figure out how to work his own sex toy.

He is, he's never, oh, he's never worn it. Okay. Teja's very good at these things. She's very mechanically oriented.

And meanwhile, Tarlyn Fox is looking very sexy. I think she'd look sexier without the T-shirt though, huh? What do you think? The monkey bars I'm interested in.

The monkey bars are great. I've never seen those before. No, those are great. Yeah.

Can we get a demonstration on those? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here we go.

Okay. Is this on? Yes. I talk very quiet.

So, obviously the most obvious position would be doggie, right? Right. Well, yeah, you hold it. Oh yeah, you hold it.

So it's to keep track of your partner so you can hold on to her. Right. Just in case she tries to wriggle away from that big dong of yours. You have to talk on to the microphone.

When I try anal on girls, I usually kind of climb up the wall. So I can hold you back then. Right. Oh, that's cool.

Yeah, there you go. Which is questionable too. If I'm forcing an anal on you, which is not what I want to do, I'm just saying. Yeah, that's right.

You're not trying to do that. Yeah. We didn't hear what she said though. Oh.

I don't know if you should say that out loud. I mean, so another position, you know, like ladies when you're on top and you're freaking legs get tired, you're like, oh my God, okay, switch. Yeah.

Well, now you can be up there longer, like look. Ah, the woman on top position. So you can hold them. You can lift me with them.

You know, this needs to be tighter. I just like to wear it low for different body shapes. It's going to be different. Oh, okay.

I like it extremely tight because it gives me that extra feeling of like pushing down on my G. Oh, yeah. So now go.

Really? Have your way with me. Okay. You can rock me back and forth.

Grinding. Or if I'm bouncing. Grinding, grinding, grinding. Or.

Here, I'll hold this. Okay. And now this is the Chinese cowgirl, not to be, you know. I'm not going to move.

You do it. Yeah. Right. You see how much you're helping me.

Do you? Of course, it's harder for the guy now. He's got to lift it like weightlifting. It's good for the abs.

Yeah. Okay. Stand up. It seems to be more of a workout for guys.

Depends. I guess. I mean, this belt seems to have many qualities. Like I found out the other day, if you take this off and you go like that right here,

it's a little. Oh, a little spanker. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. Here we go. This is a test. Weightlifting.

We didn't know we were doing this, brothers and sisters. Okay. Whoa. Okay.

Oh. Does that make holding a girl up above you easier? It's definitely a workout. However, I am growing, but.

I don't know if that's because of the monkey bars, but. On the, the, what about like, I mean, that's cool, but I like to like grab the S when you're on top too. Well, you can always let go of the monkey.

Yeah. I mean, I start out and then we're like, wait, go grab the monkey bars. You know, and then you bring it in and it keeps it going a little longer, but there's just a lot of different positions that you can do with them.

And it gives you that extra grip because there's only so much grip. Your hips are going to give you. So I don't know. I love them.

It's amazing. It's pretty cool. I haven't seen a pussy get turned around and do like a world wrestling federation. Like you won the belt.

They didn't have that quality, that belt quality. Like you can hold the belt up and that whole thing. You know, sometimes your arms get tired and you just sort of hang out. I walk around, I walk around with them like over my shoulder.

So does half the monkey bars, monkey mic, all of us. Okay. So Teja has the vibrator. Now I kind of think you should take the panties off to have the full feel.

Okay. I mean, just my opinion, you know. Do we figure this out? It already busted.

It busted? What happened? So I fixed it. Oh, okay.

Oh, she fixed it. Oh, because it's all like. So it didn't really bust. But wait, do you want to take your panties off?

Yeah. Yeah. Crowd. We'll put it, you get whatever.

You know, because you're going to keep them. Well, Well, you're going to keep this thing. Because it's busted anyway.

No. No, it's, it looks like. All right. Well,

Okay. Here we go. Everyone on the panties or under the pan. Well, I think the vibrator is good enough.

Crank it up. Okay. I see. How's that working?

Wow. So you got to tie a knot once in a while. But how's the effect? It's very strong.

Right. Nice, strong effect for a little tiny thing. Yeah. Turn it back to 11.

11. These go to 11. But you know, Again,

when you talk about Cal Exotic and Susan, who owns the company and, you know, one of the, It's a different Susan.

Yeah. I wish it was me. I'd like to own that company. One of the first females to own a sex toy company

and she basically based it on women. And everything's waterproof as well. Because, you know, sometimes you like to go in the bath and have some fun

or in the water. So it's waterproof. And actually my dong is dishwasher safe. As well.

And it really is. We've put it in the dishwasher a few times. Now we like to put our dongs into the washing machine. Really?

Yeah. That's what we do. Well, we don't have a dishwasher. So we do the washing machine.

So that's one of Tasia's favorite jobs. How do you feel? I had to hold on to you for a second. Okay.

Uh-huh. Are you coming? It's good. She can't even talk.

So it's good. It's good. I would, if I had an office job, because that sucks,

I would totally wear this. Right. You can wear it and just walk around and be like the naughty one of the bunch.

I would. Yeah. And you don't really hear it. That's the cool thing.

Right? It's very quiet. Wait, let's see. Oh, yeah.

But that's with the microphone right next to it. I mean... It's not loud. I mean, I can't hear you.

If you're walking by, I couldn't hear that. Okay. Everyone shh.

I'll even put the mic down. I didn't hear anything. No, no, no. We don't hear it.

Yeah. It's very, very... See? So...

Yeah, but how often do you have a beautiful woman on her hands and knees pouring drinks? I mean... Well...

Well, on tour pretty much every day. You and I have really great lives. We have awesome, crazy, cool sex adventures. I mean, adventures.

Yeah, I don't do the sex thing. I've never done that ever. You don't do the sex thing, right? No, no.

How many girls have you had in one night the most? Seven. Seven? And it was exhausting.

It's no fun. No? It's too much pleasing. Well, by the sixth, I guess,

but maybe the first was okay. Yeah. Or were they seven at once? Seven at once.

And it was only because of an Elvis story I heard where he got... I think it was 12 or 13 girls and dressed them up like Priscilla

and he bent them over and he went down the line and whoever made him come got the bonus. So I said, well, I have to do my Elvis moment and that's exactly what I did.

Sorry. All right. Because I could. How much was the bonus?

I didn't give him a bonus. Yeah, I just wanted to try the Elvis thing and they just happened to be fans that wanted to have sex with me.

So I got my load. What's the most guys you've had in one night? Or day? Day?

Day or night? Well, let's say one period of time without sleeping. I'm actually going to do my first gang bang for Kingston.

Round of applause. Round of applause. I haven't done a gang bang yet. I haven't done a gang bang yet.

Ah. Is it Bukaki or just a gang bang? I've done a gang... Not a gang bang.

Bukaki like a blow bang or something where there's been a lot of guys I'm sucking up. I did like a blow races or something for... How many?

There was too many. I'm embarrassed. How many? No, I'm not.

There was like 15 guys on each side and we had to go down the line. So 30? Yeah.

Well, there was 30 all together but only 15 on my team. Wow. Only 15.

But I only got down like three and then freaking something happened and the rules like... This is a blow bang.

This is where you're sucking. Like sucking for any of them as big as this. I'm just curious one question. Something went wrong with the rules.

What could have possibly gone wrong after sucking three cocks? Okay, so there's like these stupid rules, right? Where you go and you have like two people

that you can pass and come back to later if they're not coming fast enough because it's either whoever comes fast or whoever gets done fastest

or whatever. I don't know, there's stupid rules. But the guy that fucking couldn't come, I passed him.

And then my second guy that I passed, he fucking left and then they wouldn't get me another guy. So, I don't know.

This is complicated. Can I ask one thing? I'm curious. I don't know, I don't know.

I can't talk right now. No, no, no. You can't ask anything else. This thing is like...

I would just like to see a little bit of a demonstration on this. For who?

For her? No. Well... Can you deep throw?

No, I mean she's already there so why not you do it? Why am I the one up here? Well, you don't have to be.

I could be somebody else. Can you deep throw? You want to try? No, I don't think so.

Not on that one. Well, I mean... I think that's too... Why?

Yeah, because I can. That's one of my themes. You don't have to get the whole thing in. So try.

Alright, she doesn't want to try. Him wants to try. I'm going to tell you I'm not going to be able to do it.

You don't have to deep throw it. I'm not asking for deep throw. What are you asking for? I'm just asking for

I love making of the dog. That thing is huge. I think she should do it. What?

No way. That thing is going to kill me. Just... Why do they think this would kill them?

That thing is huge. Ladies, I think I'm going to show you how it doesn't kill you because I'm surprised that you...

I don't think they understand what I mean. No, I don't want to have to bend over. Why? Because I'm lazy.

I'm going to take my dick like a kill bossa. See, I'm not asking you to... He's asking to deep throw,

but it's my show, see? You could just make love to it. But you guys have to talk because my mouth is full.

Ladies and gentlemen, she's taking the dog in right now. Do commentary. That's pretty good.

This is where the faking comes in. You use your hand to pretend your mouth is taking it all the way in. Of course, you're not usually

using a microphone while you're doing this. That's the problem here. I don't know if this is spoiling it for you with other girls

who might do this, but that's what you have to do with a don. You can't take it all the way into your mouth. There was only one girl,

but she was a bulimic, and she had no... Right. She had no gag reflex.

I'm dead serious. Wow. What is it? What's that?

Puk as lube. No, that's something that Max Hardcore talked about. Oh, puk as lube.

I thought you said puker's lube. No, but the one girl that actually deep throw to me was bulimic,

and she killed her gag reflex from making herself throw up so much. So there you go. No, but she actually could deep throw me.

Don't talk off the microphone. I'm not condoning being bulimic, but it really worked. I want to take the positive out of it.

Right. Which is what I'm trying to do here. That's what Max Hardcore is totally into. He says this is the best way to die at girls.

We're not recommending that, by the way. Not at all. No. I'm totally against it.

We're recommending deep-throating. Well, if you can do it. Deep-throating is great. Oh, my microphone got sloppy

because of that sloppy blow job. I mean, really, girls can't, most girls can't deep-throat this whole thing. So if they just do it with love

and lots of hands and lots of saliva, which I didn't have just now, then doesn't that do the trick? Yeah, and also too.

I'm old school. I like making out and getting hand jobs, which is kind of like the lost art. Because it kind of reminds me of the old days when...

So how about one of you girls could do a hand job on this? I'm down. You're down. I just got nails done today, so...

Okay, all right, here we go. Hand job. You can get close-up shots, it's okay. Okay.

Close-up shots. Here she is. Tara, those shorts are just not... No, no, no.

The shorts, really, they... Keep your thing on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This looks like you should be going on safari or something.

Here I am. Yeah. And can we take off the t-shirt? It's kind of...

Yeah. Beautiful. Okay, and now... Can we take off the bra?

Yeah. Yeah, hand job. Can we do that? Can we do the bra?

I know. Every time I come here, she wants to get your butt ass naked. No, you're not going to be naked.

You wouldn't take the panties off. But, you know, topless. How about topless? What are you guys saying?

Topless. Topless. Here she goes. I'm always blamed.

Beautiful. Beautiful. Yes. Very nice.

Let's have some applause. Come on, those are boobies. Come on. We love titties.

Here she is. Tarlin Fox. Thank you, girl. Does the ring hurt the girls?

Does the ring hurt the girls? I would think it does, and that's why I kind of take it out for sex. So, what were you thinking when you got it?

Like, this would feel good to her? Well, in all honesty, I did it just for the bit, but what it's done for me is extended orgasm.

So, when I come, it's like for five minutes long. Oh, here she goes with the loop. And she's got lovely French nails.

And let's see, what do you call this technique you're using right now? Okay, I like the balls, so I always try to grab them and rub on them.

But also, when you're getting a cock hard, I like to pinch the base of it, get the blood rushing, and then get the top.

I don't know, each guy's different. You always got to find their little spot. Is she finding her little spot? Yeah, I like the bottom of my cock

squeeze as hard as possible, and the top pulled far. Why don't you do exactly what he's saying? And do you, I mean,

do you feel it when looking at her? Yeah, I mean, absolutely. Do you feel like she's doing just what you like? It's like voodoo.

It is kind of like a voodoo thing, huh? Yeah. It's like that's your cock, but not. I just thought of something,

like if you're like with a girl and you really like her and you don't want to share her with your friends or whatever, pass her around, or if she's, you know, like, do you do that with groupies?

Do you like pass her off? No, yeah. That's hot. Okay, but like, you're like,

she's like, baby, I want a threesome, and you're like, I don't want to bring another guy home, like whatever, fuck yeah. Well, I technically can DP girls by myself.

Yeah, she could be like sucking it. You could be behind with the monkey bars, you know. It was funny, I was just thinking that while you were actually jerking that off,

I thought getting behind you with monkey bars would be cool. Well, you could get behind her right now. While she's jerking off your own dick.

Woo! Yeah. Now, this is a little cereal, right? This works.

This is cool. I mean, here she is stroking your dick. We have the same stars, too. Oh yeah, you've got exactly the same stars.

Wow. You are totally connected. I don't want to grow too much right now because then I'm going to have her do that.

Bust out of your pants? Maybe. Well, you know. I'm going to need a fluffer for that.

You've got a lot of pants, so maybe they're groupies. He goes, who's anyone? I am not subsiding to peer pressure.

Too much, right? I mean, you're hot and everything, but I don't want to give you sloppy seconds. I just work today, so.

Sloppy seconds? This is the hot, that's what's so hot about it. Yeah, yeah, that didn't work quite right. You have to think of another excuse, I think.

He likes sloppy seconds. This is the guy who's used to, you know, the pass around with the rock and roll buddies. One of my fetishes is that when the girl comes home dirty,

so you can take the pussy back. Really? Yeah, yeah. And do you do cream pies?

You know, I have. But that's actually one of my fetishes. I like when they go out, get fucking pounded. And where did he come on you?

He likes that. Did he come on you? Yeah. Where?

Oh, put my phone up towards you. All over. Because that's where I would come on you, so I can cover his come and I win.

Ooh, that's so hot. That's a man thing. Well, I think some women like that, too. That's how we do it.

The woman is the magnet, you know. It's sperm wars with the woman as, you know, the prize. And the sperm is fighting each other. It's a whole evolutionary thing.

It's one of the reasons that guys do get turned on by women who are slutty. Because, you know, if you've got a woman and you know she's never been with anyone else

or she's never gonna be with anyone else, it's like, so what? You've got her. And your balls are just not gonna make as much sperm

as when you feel she could be with someone else. There she goes. See that? Where's she going?

Oh, she's going over here. Maybe she's gonna do... I don't know what she's doing. She's just hanging out.

She just wants to lay around. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe she's getting in the mood.

So we... It looks like we have one of our favorite drinks now. You don't drink, right? Or you can drink, right?

You just can't do cocaine. Bullshit, I can't do cocaine. Who says I can't do cocaine? I don't know.

I thought there was some thing you signed with Dr. Drew. Yeah. I didn't sign... I signed a contract to get paid on television.

I didn't say I wasn't gonna do it. It caught cocaine, Jesus. Oh, okay. I don't know.

I thought that you had some... Something you had to not do. Like some fun thing you're not allowed to do. Yeah, we weren't allowed...

We weren't allowed to masturbate for three weeks on television. Really? Yeah. Oh, wow.

Oh, yeah, because this was sex addicts. Right. Right, you're a sex addict. I forgot.

I didn't think there were any sex addicts, but he's one. No, I'm not. I just played one on television.

Well, you know, that's what most people do, who call themselves sex addicts. They're just playing.

So we weren't allowed... So they don't have to call themselves a cheater. Right. See, I called myself a cheater

because I did that in the old days, but now that I'm a swinger, there's really no cheating involved. Right, that's convenient

to be able to be in the lifestyle. Right. You know, and it's just all up front. Exactly.

All right. So, okay, so we have this fabulous drink called absinthe, absente absinthe.

Would you like one? I would. Okay. I hear it's a little wacky.

It's a little wacky. I don't know if you want to get wacky. What do you think? Do you want to get wacky?

I've never tried it. Kylie's never tried it. We're just all going to try it. What's there?

Okay. She wants to get wacky. Okay. Kim, you want to get wacky?

Sure. Kim is ready to get wacky like that. Even Kylie's might get a little wacky. Now, by the way,

this is made with some kind of wormwood that's legal. We're supposed to hallucinate with this? Like rolling?

It's an aphrodisiac. Is it all alcohol? No, but it's got a little something extra. Actually, that's made with wormwood.

Wormwood, yes. Southern wormwood? Northern wormwood? It's wherever the wormwood is.

I know. It sounds kind of gross wormwood. There's no worms. Trust me.

I've had worse in my mouth for less. Yeah. Yeah, it's very licorice. Do you drink it fast?

Or you kind of sip it? What's the idea? Sip it. If you drink it too fast,

you'll be passed out somewhere. Oh, like the old days. Well, I mean, you know this...