Funny Bunny XXXmas

Full transcript of Funny Bunny XXXmas on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

Need to talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else? You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves. But my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy over the phone.

Anytime you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination, my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you, role play for you, fantasize with you.

No fantasy is too taboo and help you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. For more information, call us at 213-291-9497. That's 213-291-9497 anytime you need to talk.

You're listening to Radio Suzy 1 on the World Wide Web. And now, here she is, Dr. Susan Block. Brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, artists and exhibitionists, lawyers and connoisseurs,

comedians and cam girls, all you children of sex. And yes, we are all children of sex, are we not? We may or may not be children of God, Jesus, Santa, or Allah, or Brahma, Ramadhamma,

or the great corporate chairman of the board in the sky. We don't know, we do know, until we start cloning ourselves, we are all children of sex with a capital X. Can I hear an amen?

Amen. Can I hear an A, women? Amen. Hey, women!

Yahoo! I am the irreverent Dr. Susan Block, your servant, and your mistress of the airwaves. And I want to welcome you to the Bonoboville Cathedral,

aka the Church of Bonoboville. That's right. And it is, or as they say, is the holiday season. So, here's wishing you one that's merry and bright,

with good cheer, and good works, and good play, and good sex, and not too much in the way of holiday blues. Or at least you could have some great sex to chase those blues away, right?

And, yes, I must say, mistletoe has its thorns. And, yeah, there are quite a few reasons these days to have the holiday blues. I mean, wow.

How about those fires? Whoa! I mean, it's a rough world out there. It's sort of like Hollywood is burning.

It's one of those disaster movies. I mean, right literally, I got to say, around the corner from Bonoboville. It's amazing and scary and, you know,

climate change, brothers and sisters. It's happening. I mean, yeah, it's nature. We have fires.

It's true in California. This is a desert. And, of course, part of the climate change just simply happened when a bunch of Europeans moved here

and started planting a lot of foliage that really wasn't natural to the area. That was the first human engineering. Well, I guess there was some others before that.

But, you know, then it's gone from there into fossil fuels and all kinds of crazy stuff that is wreaking havoc. Hurricanes here and fires here.

Oh, my God. Bros and sisters. It really, I was starting to pack. I was.

It was like the LA Apocalypse. Right? Getty Museum. Whoa.

Bel Air. Huh. LA Apocalypse. And then there's the Trump Apocalypse.

Right? Fuck Trump. The devil he is. Right?

Fire and fury and Nazis and KKK and the Ecoside and tax cuts for the corporations and the billionaires and just tearing the country apart. I mean, you know, we've been torn up before

and in some sense he's just the class clown that is part of the class, the billionaire class, that is, that has been calling the shots for quite a while and now it's just the mask is off.

Looks like it's on, but it's really off. The big dick with a little penis and he needs to be gagged at least on the Dr. Susan Block show. He will remain under gag order with a penis pacifier.

Ugh. We're going to spank him later. He's wearing a Puerto Rico t-shirt because that is just a, I mean, it's just one of the many awful things that he's done

is to mistreat the people of Puerto Rico. And then just to skip around away from Trump for just a second. Just a second. Look at, back to you, you naughty bastard.

Me too, right? Me too movement. It's great. You know, very bonobo in a lot of ways.

And yet, you know, it's complicated, right? It's complicated. And today it seemed like the Me Too movement was kind of tearing each other apart because there was some, okay,

I got to make sure I got my names right here. Can we turn the music down please? Yes. Turn the music down, yep.

So A-List Harvey Weinstein, accuser Rose McGowan, Twitter attacked A-List Me Too leader and fellow charmed co-star, Alyssa Milano. And she, Alyssa Milano has said, she hasn't said who she was

harassed by, but that she was harassed more times than she can count. But she said some positive things in People Magazine about Georgina Chapman, who is the ex-wife.

She's the ex-wife of Harvey Weinstein, who divorced him basically when all of these accusations just kept coming. And at first she kind of stood by him or he said she did, but then, eh, she had enough.

She left. Anyway, she's been friends with Alyssa Milano for a long time. So Alyssa said, she's a great gal. You know, she's just trying to take care of her kids.

I mean, I'm not on anybody's side here, really. Not at all. But she basically said that she was trying to be a good person and she defended her.

And Rose McGowan, who was harassed by Harvey Weinstein, so she says he denies it, but I don't know. I think she has witnesses. So she said, you make me want to vomit.

You actually gave me a body flashback Well done, fake one. Wow. Intense.

I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I can't take a side here and I really don't want to. I just, I'm talking about it because it's like an example

of the craziness that's just rippling through all of us and the anger and the hurt. And I'm not casting blame, but just observing. It's kind of like the fire coming down the freeway.

It's a wake-up call and it's really confusing, I have to say. You know, what side does a good sex-positive bonobo take? I mean, really, I'm feminist too, okay? And I'm not sure.

I mean, I think it's great that so many women are standing up to their harassers and are speaking their truth. And I think that's a beautiful thing

and that is the bonobo way. The bonobo way is female empowerment. The bonobos are the one species of great apes that is pretty much gender equal.

Every other species of great apes, including humans, is pretty patriarchal and pretty male dominant. And bonobos show us, since they are our closest cousins, that, you know, we could be that way too.

That's what I think. I don't know if that's true, but I think it's true. I think maybe, in fact, maybe, we were kind of that way when we were hunter-gatherers.

Bonobos are hunter-gatherers and we were like that too. Over 12,000 years ago, most of us were. All of us were, actually. Now there's hardly any, if any, hunter-gatherers left.

And so, you know, it's hard to say what they were like. But I think they might have been a little more egalitarian than certainly corporatized democracy is in human civilization. In any case, bonobos show us the way.

They show us female empowerment in action. And there's very little rape in Bonoboville. And I'm talking about among the real bonobos. And actually the human ones too.

There's no rape. We haven't had a rape reported here. But in the Bonobo-Bonoboville, no, well, there's a little rape. And the females punish the rapists.

I mean, it happens all the time among common chimps. It happens all the time really among gorillas. And it happens all the time among humans. But it happens very rarely among bonobos.

The females get together. They have female solidarity. And they stop the guy. And they might even hurt him, but they don't kill him.

And they usually follow it up with a little sex. Okay, I mean, I know. That's weird, right? To us.

That's weird. But it's what they do. And it might be sex. It's not sex with a female that doesn't want to have sex.

It's not non-consensual. I know that's a double negative, but you can stay with me, right? Okay, so it's consensual. And maybe it's one of the older females, you know, Milf's rule,

Bonoboville. And so, you know, I've seen the Bonobos, they kick, kick, kick. Stop that. Stop that.

Don't harass her. And then, okay, now I'll fuck you. And I mean, okay, or one of the boys. I mean, Bonobos are bisexual.

So there's different options. And they're very, very polyamorous. So there's a lot of options. Humans, we don't provide ourselves so many options.

So it's very difficult. And I'm not excusing the guys at all. You shouldn't harass. You shouldn't, you know, do this stuff.

You shouldn't certainly rape. And also, the non-consensual butt squeezing is not acceptable either, although that's not as bad as rape. I know I can get smashed for saying that,

but non-consensual butt squeezing. I've had that so many times. And I've had rape a couple of times. And they're not the same.

They're not, they're not, okay. So anyway, that's not acceptable. But, you know, sex is not just acceptable. I think it's essential.

It's necessary. And, you know, we all have different ways of going about it. And we need it. And the Bonobos, you know, they're very female-empowered.

But they also take care of the males, you know. The community takes care of the male sex drive, as well as the female sex drive. By the way, when females are empowered,

their sex drive seems to go up more. Ah-ha-ha. I can do this. You know?

I can be hot. So it is good to, it's great to empower the females and stand by the females, although I don't think that necessarily means

I believe every woman any more than I believe every man. I support females. I support my fellow women. I believe in female solidarity.

But I don't know. I'm too much of a, I guess I look at evidence, you know. I try. Anyway, it's a complicated situation.

But, yeah, one reason that harassment and rape are relatively rare among bonobos and murder and war are non-existent is that bonobo males get laid.

A lot. A lot. A lot. They get laid a lot.

Yay! And yay! Right, right. Okay.

So we all can acknowledge that that's a good thing. I even think that, you know, all those Me Too people would acknowledge that that's good, that that's okay.

But then what is, the question is how? How does this happen? What do you do? I mean, you know, obviously these guys have wives

who probably don't want to have sex with them. And you can't blame some of them. I mean, and you don't want to make any woman have sex with any man.

Even if they're, well, no matter if they're married. It doesn't matter. Nobody who, nobody should be having non-consensual sex. So where does that leave these guys?

They're usually workaholics. So they're working all the time. And you know, it's not like they get to meet somebody outside of work and outside of their family

that they can just have sex with. No. No. So what's, what's the solution?

Well, I don't know. Maybe you guys have a solution. I have a solution and that is decriminalize and destigmatize sex work.

Here, here. Yeah. And. Hooray for the hookers.

Hooray for the hookers. You know, we need to have hookers just like, I was talking to a guy the other day, they send masseuses in, they rub your back.

Okay, that's cool. That's great to the corporations. You know, I think that's fantastic, actually. Why shouldn't you also send in sex workers

to take care of that sort of thing? Happy endings. Happy endings. Happy beginnings.

You know, all of it. Yes, absolutely. We should decriminalize sex work. Now, by the way, I am not a madam.

LAPD. You check me out a couple of times, right? And you, and I sued you and I won. Oh, Dr. Suzy.

Yeah. I know. I do believe though. I can say a lot of my friends are hookers though.

Okay. I have friends. And I, I just really believe that sex work. And by the way, that includes all types of sex work

from actual prostitution where you're actually fucking to phone sex to, hey, just hiring a girl to come in and watch the guy masturbate. You know, no big deal for a woman that wants to do it

that's maybe getting paid. Now you say, maybe these guys don't want to pay. Why don't they want to pay? Because they think it makes them less of a man.

Because it's stigmatized. And because it's illegal mostly. They don't want to get arrested for that. You know, it's illegal.

And it's, you know, we, we look down on it. We say, oh, you had to go to a hooker. Oh, hookers. Oh, we got to change that girls.

I mean, I'm all for no harassment. No non-consensual sex. But this is the Me Too Next. Me Too Next.

What is next? Do we just like, just say you guys just got to stuff it? I mean, all right. I guess that'll work for a little while.

It may be a few months. But no, it's not going to work forever. And you know who's going to take advantage of this moment who is already taking advantage of this moment?

The right wing. Of course, the right wing. Who doesn't give a fuck when their people are accused? Roy Moore's, he's not a pedophile, by the way.

He's in a FIBA file. He goes after teenagers, which isn't very good, but it's not a pedophile. So, okay.

But he's still an asshole in every way. The whole Ten Commandments thing. The whole thing, you know, and they don't care. They don't care.

Trump, hey, this guy, the pussy grabber-in-chief. Where's your devil horns? You should be wearing them because you are the devil. And this is the pussy grabber-in-chief

who not only has grabbed a bunch of pussies, and 19 have accused him, but also is grabbing all of our pussies reproductive rights. So it goes way beyond the 19.

But I would like to know, Time Magazine, please. Time Magazine. Oh, God. You have this cover.

Do you have the cover of Time? Can we show? Okay, there they are. A bunch of ladies.

Oh, it's cool. They've got a good mix here. But why couldn't they have accused one of, why couldn't they have included one of Trump's accusers,

one of his 19 accusers? They don't include any of them. Anyway, he's not just grabbing pussies. He's grabbing our pussies rights.

And, you know, while he's still there, guess who got fired or resigned or, I don't know, it's a combination. Well, of course.

Yeah, John Conyers. Civil rights hero, which reminds me, you know, the eventual result of this could be, we separate the men from the women.

We keep the men over here, because the men can't keep their hands to themselves, so the women have to be over here where they're not harassed. And, you know, separate but equal,

we know that doesn't work. So we got to get along. We got to get along. We got to get along.

And that doesn't mean tolerating harassment, but it might mean opening up another sexual channel. That's work. Okay, and then, so I just got to say one more thing before,

well, maybe two more things, before I introduce my amazing guest. Okay, so also Al Franken resigned. I am not a huge fan of Al Franken's

because he supports the military-industrial complex like in a big way, and he has, even when he was a comedian, which is what got him into trouble, I guess,

with this Leanne Tweedon, who, yeah, we're sort of finding out that she is a birther and, you know, may have been coached

by some Trump supporters. I mean, obviously the picture of him pretending to grab her boobs, you know, you can't argue with that. It's very visceral.

There's the picture. There he is doing the act in the, you know, the USO show for the military there in Afghanistan and, you know, supporting our wars

and using sex to support the war, which that's what I have a big problem with, using sexual excitement and beauty and fun to support killing people.

Yuck. Anyway, other people have more of a problem with how far his fingers are from her flak vest. So, okay.

And then we have some pictures of her that just came out, I guess, where she's having some fun. There she is.

Okay, that guy looks kind of surprised. Maybe he likes it. I don't know if she asked. I think she's just kind of doing it.

Okay, you know, I don't know what... I'm just looking at pictures. Anyway, yeah, yeah, she's in some photos. So, okay.

We're arguing about Dustin Hoffman and, meanwhile, the orange swindler and his cruel cabinet of hugely unqualified, hugely, not just unbonobo to a few people,

but to everybody, billionaires, you know, and butt licking Congress of ecocidal corporate sissy maids are stealing our money, ruining our resources

and extending our perma wars and arming our police with military weapons. And I could go on, but, you know, grabbing our pussies reproductive rights.

So, anyway, we're going to give them a spanking. Yeah, we're going to do more of that in a little while. Spank them with the bonobo way. And, yeah, he probably likes it,

but you know what, it's okay as long as he remains gagged and helpless. And so, yeah, we need to... I mean, we're all about love.

We're not about assassination. We've been spanking with some mistletoe. Yeah. You know?

So there's a lot to be blue about, but tis the holiday season, yes. So if Trump can say Merry Christmas, I can say Merry Triple X-mas.

And that's what we're going to celebrate tonight. So, we are very excited to... I got to get his horns on. We are very excited to welcome

porn starlet, Camgirl, cosplayer, Santa's Little Helper,

Lexi Mansfield, aka, Lexi Girl. Yay! And we have some Trump toy paper.

Thank you very much. Where did I get this from? Oh, thank you. Oh, okay.

It's very cute. Very nice. Oh, thank you, Jux. Yay.

Trump toilet paper. It's almost like, you know, you don't want to use it, but you do want to use it. You definitely do.

Yeah, okay. I will use this. It's not like the kind of toilet paper where it's so pretty, you don't want to use it.

No. Anyway, I will definitely use that. So, I also would like to introduce my guest comedian,

Shawn Michael Bow. Hey, hey! Welcome, welcome. And thank you, Clemi, for introducing us.

Yeah, thanks, Clemi. Thanks for having me. This is great. What's going on? This place is awesome.

I loved your monologue about bonobos. Thank you. They seem so amazing. You think we can run one in 2020? Ah, that would be great.

I think it could be Trump. Someone bonobo-esque, maybe. Exactly, there we go. An actual bonobo would certainly be smarter.

Yeah. And have better diplomacy. Actually, you know, bonobos are the masters and the mistresses of diplomacy.

They're really good with each other and with traveling bonobos and with humans. So like Elizabeth Warren kind of bonobo vice president ticket would be great.

There you go. Yes, so, okay. Well, and I'd also like to reintroduce my lovely Santa helper

right here, Phoenix Dawn. Yeah. You hear that crowd out there? I know, it's really loud. It's amazing.

Wow. Bigger than Trump's inauguration. It's because I'm Puerto Rican, that's why. Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. Well, he threw paper towels at Puerto Rico. That's why. We can throw toilet paper at him.

Yeah. So gosh, everybody. Happy holidays, Merry Christmas. We got a tree, we got socks, everything.

So, how you doing, Lexie? I'm feeling great. So you've got these two identities. You have to explain.

You've got Lexie Girl and Lexie Mansfield. Correct. We are talking about men tonight and women. And so you are a Mansfield.

Is that what you are? Mansfield, like a field of men. Oh, a field of men. Not a man's field.

I thought a man might like to plow your field. That too, absolutely. I wouldn't mind that. Or many men.

Many men plowing your field. Wow. Have you been gang banged? No. Maybe one day.

On my bucket list. Did you say bucket or fuck it? Bucket, fuck it, same thing. Bucket or fuck it.

All right. And you are from... I am from... I'm Chinese.

Were you made in China or were you made here? I was made in China. You were made in China? Absolutely original.

So is most of our furniture. You know, those Christmas toys. Yeah, toys. Are you a Trump or Ivanka product?

Which one? Are you the Asian persuasion basically? I am, absolutely. I'm like your girl in the store, but when I'm on camera, not so much.

When did you come over here? So I came here not so long ago. Six years. Really? Six years.

How come you don't have an accent? Well, I spoke English. It was... Chinese and English were kind of my first languages.

It's not like America. They actually teach you how to read and write in other countries. Right. Can you speak Chinese?

Can you speak Chinese? Yes, I speak three dialects. Who say something dirty in Chinese? About me.

About the way we have a Me Too team over here. This is recorded, right? I can get a video of this later. Can you...

Let's do it. I like... Oh my gosh, I know. I don't...

What did you just say? I like... You like? So this is not exactly dirty, but it is romantic.

Okay, that's nice. That's good. Let's be romantic. Can you say you can suck his dick from the back? Can you say you can suck his dick from the back?

Oh wow. Wow, that might be a little... You see, she... After she said that, can you explain what you mean by that?

Yeah, from the back. From the back. Okay. Maybe I can say something like...

I want you from the back. Let's see. Okay, well, our Chinese viewers and listeners are getting very excited.

Oh, I hope so, if they understand what I'm saying. Yeah. Okay, so the guy on Twitter who says he's your twin and is Korean, he's not really your twin.

Does everyone know about this twin guy? Yeah, well, he tags all of us, I think. Yeah, every day. I don't know how this really started,

but because our birthdays are very close, like a day apart. Yeah. But I am the older twin because I was born first.

I see. Okay. Because twins can be a day apart. And, you know, I try to be nice to him

because I feel like, you know, being in this business, like, there's two sides. Yeah. You are...

One more size. And, you know, one is you have, you know, the respectful guys that, you know, really appreciate you for who you are.

I find you attractive. And there's the twin guy. Yeah. And he's not a bad guy, right?

But he probably is a little annoying to most girls, you know, in there. But I actually feel for him, people like that that are lonely,

that, you know, just need someone to give them attention. And maybe most won't, but I don't talk to him like in great lengths, right?

Right. I didn't notice you responding to him at all. But I did notice he worships you. And, you know, it's, I mean,

it's erotic interaction. And Twitter is a place for that. Yeah. Twitter surprised me.

You know, before being in this industry, I never saw Twitter that way. I didn't even know that such a huge part of, you know, Twitter in our industry

with sex workers, and it's kind of crazy. Well, you're quite the little tweeter now. You really are.

So now you're a cam girl, as well as you do porn, as well as cosplay. Oh, I love cosplay.

I'm Asian, you know. I grew up. Is this a cosplay outfit? Not exactly, but why don't you show it off?

Stand up. New York City. New York City. Yeah.

Yeah, she's all about New York City. Well, I do have a connection there. I spend a lot of time there. And you too, right?

Come over and sit next to me. I'm from the U.R. too. See, I wore this for a reason. I knew.

Premonition. Yeah. Oh, I have a little elf next to me. How nice.

So how I started. Yes, I started as a cam girl. And that was kind of scary for me. I've kind of been in front of the lens.

That's not the part that I'm fearful of. I've been modeling since 13. Yeah. And so, you know, I'm actually more comfortable

from the lens than everyone else. That all of you are looking at me. I prefer to look at the camera or something. You can look into that.

I like that one. That's a good one. That's our paparazzi of the noble. Yeah.

So I started as a cam girl. And, you know, just talking to guys and doing your thing.

Every show is different for me. How long ago did you start? A year. A year. You've only been doing this for a year?

Yes, a year. Right now. And the funny thing was, you know, I get very anxious before going on camera.

Like, when I came here, I was nervous and anxious. But I think once, you know, the camera goes on, I'm like a different persona. It almost like, you know,

makes me come alive. I can say that. You were pretty lively when you walked in here. But then again, the cameras were already kind of

starting up a little bit. Okay. Well, you know, a lot of people are like that. A lot of performers were shy as kids.

You know, I was shy as a kid. Or introverts. Something like that. I'm actually very introverted.

You know, but I don't know. Along the way, I mean, I wasn't always sexual. Definitely.

I think that with time and getting older and feeling like, and especially my culture, Asians aren't exactly

open about sex, you know. We don't talk about it like here and we're brought up thinking sex is dirty or bad.

So are we. But I mean, everybody has different taboos. Slightly different forms of repression.

I think all human so-called civilized societies are repressed about sex in some way.

But yeah, of course, some of us think oh, the Asians, they're so geisha girl, they're more liberal than we are.

They're not kind of under the gun of monotheism. Or like Japanese porn. Yeah, exactly.

Wow, hello. I do think there's a nation that is kind of shy about sex.

You have a lot of kids. They are like the tankiest. The shit that they do, I'm like,

wow. I'm in shock, but then part of me is like, I really want to fucking feel what that feels like.

What does that feel like? You know what I mean? It's like taboo. Yes, it is part of it and the curiosity

and wanting to feel that, of course. And of course it is natural. We all kind of want to feel it.

And we all have different forms of repression. And thank goodness for that, or I wouldn't be in business as a sex therapist.

But yeah, I'm always of two minds. At the same time, I'm trying to rip away the repression. I also

thrive on it in a way most of my clients come from the most repressed areas. Including Asia and Connecticut.

Connecticut, yeah. Yeah, Connecticut. I was going to say Alabama. But not that Connecticut is much more repressed

than Alabama. Yeah, I know, right? Yeah, because Alabama, they don't mind being hypocrites.

Connecticut hides it. Everything's good here. We're good people. We're nice, we're very nice.

Yeah, I'm feeling the butt. And anyway, yeah, so when you're a cosplayer, what do you dress up as?

Wow. I guess I'm more into the Japanese, like hentai kind of culture. And of course it's fun being a schoolgirl

and you know, I like a lot of the you know, the anime, the cartoons that like Sailor Moon. Oh, I could see you as Sailor Moon.

Yeah, definitely. So do you ever do like a cosplay sex show? Well, it's been a recent interest of mine

I've been tweeting more about that kind of stuff like, you know, when I started this I'm like, what would my niche kind of be? You know, and it's like

you kind of find out along the way what you like or don't like. One of my shocking things was washing hentai, you know, normal,

then I realized, wow, have you seen the ones with the tentacles? Oh, yeah. And then I realized, I love it.

They like tentacles. Many tentacles. Many, many. Yes, of course. Really, you guys are, you like the tentacles stuff?

It's just no fun. It's a lot. Yes, yes. How are you doing? Your whole body is stimulated.

That's a good point. What human can do that? Exactly. You know, that brings us to a point about

one small difference between most men and most women, although there's a lot of crossover. But most women do like to have

their whole body stimulated or different parts of the body. And most men, hey, touch my cock, please. Can I show you my cock?

If you won't touch it, I'll just show it. You know, there's like this cock thing going on, which is great. Hey, we love you guys in your cocks.

Oh, and the balls. Don't forget the balls. They just hang around though. They hang around.

They're like hanging around with the stars. The sidekick. Yeah, I just think like, I'm not religious, but I do believe in nature

and I think that nature in its way was really smart when it created reproductive organs because it gave women a vagina, which is a complex,

beautiful kind of thing. And it gave us. It goes inside. It gave guys, like,

just give them a penis, put it on the outside because these motherfuckers may lose it because they're idiots. Well, that reminds me, we have a teaching tool here.

The vulva puppet. And so this is the vulva. Actually, I have some religious dildos in here right now.

This is the Jackhammer Jesus made by Divine Intervention. Where did you even find this?

It's made by the sex toy company that makes religious dildos. And they actually, there's a Buddha over there in case you want to have an Asian character

right under the tree. Yeah, you want to grab him so that you have you know, you can represent the Buddha or, you know...

My own kind. So, you know, the Buddha is very big, of course.

And Jesus, I mean, this is why a lot of people are eroticized by Jesus on the cross is because it is in the shape of a dick.

As you see. And I'm sorry about being sacrilegious to some people if I'm offending you.

You can change the channel. You know... But they offend me. Right. And it's not even the right holiday though.

This is really more for Easter. So what we have here for Christmas specifically is the

Baby Jesus Buddha. If you don't have one of these during the holidays, you'll be damned forever. This is actually a great stocking

stuffer. And I mean that in more ways than one. It can stuff you after it stuffs your stocking.

And... It's a good size, I guess. It's a good size. Smaller.

Nothing too crazy. It's actually for a beginner, I would say. And, you know, I mean, you could start someone out.

I'm not saying a virgin. I'm saying a beginner. But that would be kind of a hot idea. If you want to...

I think if you want to hit the religious right market with that, you're going to have to make Baby Jesus white. I think it comes...

He comes in different colors. No, I know. I would make it totally controversial. I like blue.

Mix it up, right? Yeah. They're just things that are on the outside.

But this is the vulva puppet because we do have stuff on the outside. But most of the... I guess the reproductive stuff

is on the inside. But funnily enough, most of our nerve endings that really enjoy being touched are on the outside

like you are. See, we're almost like you. In that sense. We do like the outside being touched a lot.

You just ram, ram, ram. We don't usually come. That's not fun for me either. But I learned that later in life. Like in my 20s, I was like,

As I got older, I was like it's more fun if I slow this down. And skill comes with age though. The weird thing about being a woman is we have the mix.

We have outside and inside. We do. We have different types of orgasms. Guys have inside too. Oh no!

Baby Jesus. Right? Okay, so you were saying you didn't like Trump too much. You want to give him a spanking? That would.

Could you take your New York City off? Yeah, do you want to hear it? I'll hold the microphone for you. We could have a little music

for maybe the kingster for the striptease here. Carmina Formosa's The Kingster.

And here we have Lexi Girl AKA Lexi

Mansfield Woo! And she's got to field a man after her

and she could also be a lucky man's field if you know how to plot. Okay, turn the music down.

Music down. Just cut it. Thank you. Well, don't you have

the sexiest, prettiest feminist lingerie? I mean, this is really hot.

Just quite a combination. Where should I... So you wore it all. Everything, I just mixed it all up.

Let's try this. That's cute. Get your Santa hat. Okay.

Yeah, very cute. Well, I think you are now properly attired because we don't really...

We want him to be happy as our prisoner because we're bonobo

and we just feel that he needs to be punished and also restrained and also

gagged. That's smart. Okay, so those are the big balls and, of course, did you see the little tiny dick?

The tiny, tiny dick he has? We can't even find it. There it is. There it is. I think that's the smallest dick I've seen.

I'm over here. Before we go into that, I just want to do a news update. Rupert Murdoch's house mansion

is on fire. Now? I thought it was before. No, now.

It's happening right now. I stopped there on my way over. I just took care of it. The best part,

the Republicans are now going to repeal any write-off. If your house is burned down, whether there's a weather storm or a hurricane,

you cannot write off your house. Spank him for that. Thank you. Spank him with the book here.

Here we go. Throw the book at him. Ready? I've been waiting to do this.

I feel that maybe Rupert Murdoch will turn against him, I hope. But you know, these billionaires, you can't trust any of them.

The gag? Penis gag. Penis gag is in here. Pat, I think we need your help.

Here, put it on. There you go. Okay. And now,

Lexi Girl, can I call you Lexi Girl? Is going to punish

Drumpf with the bonobo way. And the small penis. You can look at that too.

See the dental floss around there? I do. Okay. Whack.

Girl, yeah. Yeah, you got a good arm there. Yeah, good. You can get the dick too.

It's like just there. Given another wallet. Like three of them. What are you especially mad at him for?

Oh, everything. Nothing special. Just everything. Pussy-grabbing,

egocidal, miserable, KKK Nazi thing. Okay. Oh, I actually met him before.

You did? I did. So I met him in Atlantic City. Really?

When I was really young. And he wanted to take a picture with me. So I was like, oh, it's true. He wanted to take a picture with you?

Like every normal grown man. A picture with a little girl? I think I was like 16.

Wow. Yeah, I was with my parents. It's so weird. And he did take the picture with you?

Yeah. And it was his picture? Yeah, we both have it. But I didn't know much about him.

So now I'm like, wow. Maybe I should tweet that sometime. Yeah, you should. Tag me.

I do. I want to see that picture. Okay, well we've got 10 more minutes. Hey, why don't you sit over there and you sit over here

so that we're all a little closer. Whoa, she's stuck. Oh, this is kind of sexy. Oh, look at this.

Okay, that could be considered harassment somewhere. Careful, make sure. Wait, you have to show off your outfit. This is an amazing outfit.

Excuse me, look at this. Whoa. Such a spankable bottom. Phoenix Dawn.

Whoa. Yo, yo, yo. So, uh... Very excited.

We had some action going before the kiss. I saw that. I walked in on that. I didn't mean to interrupt. We were trying to keep it on the low,

but she was like... Hi, hi, hi. Hi, hi, hi. Don't stop on my account.

We're trying to make you join us. Well, now... Oh, look who's here. Well, hello.

Hey. You're on the show now, you know. Is that cool? Do you mind being on the show? Do you want to be on the show?

You can be on the show. He can be on the show. Sit down, doc. You can be on the show.

It's good. Yeah, it's fine. Do you have a name? Brandon. Oh, that's right, I met you.

Hey, Brandon, welcome to the womb room. Yeah, he's got the best seat in the house. Okay. So where were we? Oh, yeah.

You guys were telling me about how you got together a little earlier. So I don't know if you had any... There's mistletoe over there.

Uh-oh. You might have to... What does that mean? Get me, like, extra excited now. Okay. Look at that.

Beautiful. Wow. Oh. Some pretty kissing under the mistletoe. For the holidays, we're starting

to beat those holiday blues, huh? We're getting in the pink. Mm. For sure.

So, uh... So we have a little ritual that we do here. What is that? It's called Bonoboville Communion.

I think everything we do is somewhat religious. It's weird. I got a whole religion thing going. Amen and amen. You're doing it right.

You're doing it better than the Catholic Church. Were you brought up Buddhist or Confucian? I am actually Roman Catholic. You're Roman Catholic? Perfect.

Okay. Are you still Roman Catholic? No. You're lapsed. I've gone away from that. Okay. Did you ever do...

Communion. I went through all of that. I was brought up pretty strict. You were strict?

Yeah, my parents were pretty strict. Okay, did you... I prayed with a rosary. Yeah, like every night.

It's quite a sex toy. It can be. Definitely. I could use it like...

maybe anal beads or something. Exactly, beads. Or it could be bondage. Oh, that too.

Were you just joking? So you're over 21, right? Yes, I am. See, I hope you considered a compliment

that I didn't know. But I'm glad you are. So you could be a part of our communion service here.

What is that? Well, it involves a drink. And you could either be the altar girl or the drinker.

I want to be the drinker. Poor Phoenix. Phoenix. We're drafted last week.

And I'm going to draft you again. Yay! All right, so you can sit in between us here, Phoenix.

Or you can sit over there. Sit over here, actually. And I will get the

implements of the communion trade. And this is... Yeah, it's kind of our

holiday spirit. You know? The holiday spirit

of Bonoboville is Agua Cocoa leaf liqueur. And it's the perfect color for Christmas.

So, y'all get yourself some Agua Cocoa leaf liqueur. It's herbal. Put it under your tree.

Isn't everything herbal or organic? No. My penis is. Well, that makes it more attractive.

Certified. Did I hear penis? A little bit more interesting. I know.

Yes. Penises hold up half the world. No, that's an outside tongue saying, right? Women hold up half the world.

yes. So now, Phoenix is going to be the altar girl. Now, when you took communion

as a young Roman Catholic girl, you probably ate a wafer of some sort. And you also drank some grape juice.

Or did they give you wine? Wine. All right. Well, that's happened. It's not bad.

Really? Getting the little kids drunk there in the Catholic church. Did they also molest you? No, and I don't want to know.

Yeah, do I? That's nice. Oh, no. I'm in the mood here.

Anyway, this is a different kind of communion. First of all, we're all over 21. What if I wasn't 21?

Well, you could be an altar girl. That's the funny thing, but you couldn't be a drinker. You could be, you know, if you were over 18.

You have to be over 18. Unlike Trump, we don't take pictures with 16-year-olds. Oh. And unlike World War II, we don't date a woman.

Okay. Maybe I should tag him on that photo, too. Here we go. Perhaps I will hold the microphone

just in case. Let's keep it here. And now the altar girl. Phoenix Dawn will reveal her beautiful

natural altar. God and the goddess's gift to us all. Merry Christmas!

Did you lick the altar? Very nice. You did that even without being taught. It's a good Catholic girl.

Very good. You knew all about what it was all about. Okay, so now you licked it and now I put the salt

on it. Salt, salt, salt. Salt, salt, salt. And now you lick the salt.

Wait, let's get the mistletoe over your head. And now lick the salt. Get every grain of salt. Salt.

Beautiful. Mmm. That's a hungry little elf. Yes. Okay.

And now for your waterboarding bonobo style. You didn't know you were a prisoner of war in Bonoboville. Well, you get right between

her legs. You sit right down there. You're going to look gorgeous. In fact, you'd look even better if I took your microphone away

and held it. In case you have something to say. Whoops, you're stepping on it. Okay. And then maybe

you could just pull those little bra things aside. Yay. Okay. Beautiful. And now lean back.

Lean back. Keep your hat on. That's right. Very good. Down we go.

Waterboarding bonobo style. Hey, man. With Lexi Mansfield. Okay.

Lexi girl and Phoenix Dawn, the altar girl. All right. Well, that is

beautiful beginning to Yeah, I don't even know what I drank. You drank Agua Coco Leif LeCurre.

And thank you for not knowing because that gave me another reason to announce their name. Okay. Very good. And yeah. Beautiful.

You are beautiful. You are beautiful. You're a pretty good looking yourself. And so are you. And ah, my crew is gorgeous.

Let me just say, I got to say, you're beautiful. And Captain Max. You are the handsomest man on earth. I've been married

25 years to this fabulous clapping for Captain Prince Maximilian Rudolph. D.

Lovekivitz, D. Killen Jerry. My prime mate. Hi darling girl.

Hi darling boy. How are you doing there? Okay, Merry Christmas. I like to say Merry Triple X-mas.

Yeah. Absolutely. Every holiday should be an excuse to celebrate.

To celebrate, you know. And I know that bunnies go with Easter. Not Christmas, but I think we might have a motor bunny ride later.

Oh, that sounds fun. Yeah, sounds like fun. It does. Christmas thing to do even if it is with an Easter bunny.

So, all kinds of fun things are in store. And Sean Michael Bowles has got more

to bowl us over with. Yeah, absolutely. And so we're going to be back

in just a little while. So don't come yet and don't go away. We'll be right back. Hi.

I'm Doctor Susan Block and I've just written a new book called The Bonobo Way, inspired by my love for the make love,

not war, great apes. You know, the ones who have a lot of sex in a bonobo sutra of positions including face to face.

But it's not just how bonobos have sex. It's how they use sex to prevent murder and war.

Really. They're the only great apes that have never been seen killing each other. They practice what I call

peace through pleasure. With the females gently dominating the very happy, very sexually satisfied males.

Bonobos are special partly because they just are. And partly because they're very, very close to us.

Almost 99% genetically similar to us when it comes to being human. Even being humane. Bonobos can teach us so much.

Which brings me to us and more specifically to you. Is your inner bonobo longing to swing free?

Would you like to tap into the hot natural sex energy within you? Bet you would. So you can better enjoy the pleasures

in life and cope with the pain. You know, the pain. And have more orgasmic, organic, sustainable

sex. Who doesn't want that? Greater lust, greater trust and better anger management. And who couldn't use a little bit

of that these days? So get the book, learn the bonobo way. You'll be glad you did. Then you'll want to join Bonoboville,

a new global village for bonobo lovers and friends. And one last thing, the real bonobos are highly endangered.

So a portion of all book sales go to bonobo conservation groups working to save the wild bonobos from extinction. Read the bonobo way and learn why

this could be the most important eco-sexual movement of our times. And improve your love life. Listen sisters, we are going to have

a Sybian ride for Massimei Mons. So you've never been on a Sybian before? No, I've never been on one before.

Okay. Now you are ready to ascend the throne. Mr. Tracy, you are going to ride

God's machine now. Put one leg right here. Put the other right here. And just position yourself comfortably.

Put your clip right here. So here she goes. Have you ever ridden a Sybian by the way? Oh I have, many a times.

My favorite horse to ride. Have Sybian yoga and experience it to the fullest.

Oh Go for the G-spot, go for the clip. Go for whatever works. We did Sibadu.

Holy shit. That does the job. Sybian strikes again. Yes, I do say that when it feels good.

Live on DrSuzi.TV from the womb room in Bonobo ville.

Ride on cowboy. Take a deep breath. Deep breath. Relax.

We never get tired of watching a pretty girl on the Sybian celebrate and masturbation month. Hallelujah.

Hallelujah. A sister that comforts us. Look at that face. That is a beautiful thing.

Thank you Dr. Susan Block. You're a wonderful human being. Wonderful human being Dr. Susan Block. Thank you.

I think that was an orgasm. I think we have orgasm Houston and let's have a hand. We have lift off.

We have lift off. Okay, we're going to go. Goodbye sister Penny. Testify.

That you masturbate. And you are not ashamed. How was it? What's your report? My vagina is so tingly right now.

It feels like pop rock. I'm just going to take this home. Take it. I think it's bigger than your little body.

That is the best product endorsement I've ever seen. Can I leave now? I'm ready. Come on.

Where's the husband? We got the Sybian. You don't need the husband. Oh my God.

Don't let her fall over. Oh my God. Hey darling girl. I love you.

That's my girl. And now, here she is. Dr. Susan Block. Merry Christmas.

We are tuned to the Dr. Susan Block show. Live from Bonoboville. Yay. And we are having some fun.

Can I get an amen? Can I get an A? Women. It's funny we got the boys over here and the girls over here.

It's already starting. I'm telling you it's a problem. Okay we got to all understand. We're males and females.

We're not the opposite sex. We're both. We're all in this together. And so, we're going to mix it up

and get a machine involved. Yeah. Because hey, there's some good forms

of artificial intelligence out there. AI. And there always have been. I have this mixed feeling

about civilization. Like a love-hate thing. But one thing I love about human civilization

is motorized sex toys. Yeah. I do. I love that.

And we're going to be exploring one in just a short time. It's true. It's not Easter.

It's called a motor bunny. But it's Christmas. Happy holiday. Have a fun time.

And so we're having a fun time with Lexi Girl. Where's your microphone, Lexi? Here.

Talking to the Buddha. Talk to the Buddha. Lexi Girl, all the way from China, made in China.

Wow, that's really exciting. Two Chinese parents? Yes, absolutely. That's not authentic.

Oh, wow. Awesome. And so she's now here. And she's original.

And she speaks English better than we do. Hard to understand that. But anyway, under the other side of the mistletoe

is Phoenix Dawn. And always rising. Over here is

Shawn Michael Bow. What? And he's the funny guy. He said some funny things tonight.

But we're not letting you have a microphone. We're mixing it up, right? I'm just going off of you. You're hilarious.

Well, we're all pretty funny. Do you find... Are you fighting over the mic? I know.

Maybe in a deep throat. You know. Well, let's first introduce E.Core. E.Core.

Okay, E.Core the Wolf. Come out there. And all of his wolfish sounds.

He's going to be hip-hopping for us later. Speaking of bunnies. We'll be hip-hopping.

Twerking. You know, Bonobos twerk. That is actually how the girls... The girls have sex

and that's how they get along. They get it from the back? Well, they kind of more do it from the front. But their genitals

are a little different. Their genitals are very big. And they rub them against each other.

They do it a little from the back. But mostly really from the front. They're doing this thing. It's like the

Bonobo twerk. And it gets them close so that that creates female solidarity. So they do stand up for each other.

Now this is a picture of a Bonobo playing with a sex toy. In the zoo. That's a red rubber ball.

And she's masturbating on a sex toy. It just shows that sex toys are not only human. That Bonobos like them too.

How are you doing? Do Bonobos do only one or do they have three sons or orgies or anything?

They have all of the above. I mean really more often I guess it's three, four, five.

But sometimes it's like this whole orgy. They love to combine food and sex. You like Bonobos? I do too.

You do? So Bonobos are like the Costco of sex. They just do it all.

I got everything. It's always an orgy with them. Any given time a Bonobo just keeps going down.

Anywhere. Sex is their life. It's just going down. Some children come over here doing it.

They keep giving you yellow things. That's yours. We should compete. Okay.

We're already having a competition. No, that's cool. It's good for girls to compete. Meanwhile, I'm going to also introduce

while you unwrap that penile-looking thing. Whoa.

Over here is Maurice and Brandon. We're going to talk with them more later. Just for now.

You ready? Who's judging this? I will. God wasn't quick enough.

Jesus. Really quick on that. God damn. Here we go.

We have a machine to handle. Go for it. Bonobo girl banana suck. Whoa.

Game over. Game over. New York, New York big city dreams. But you were very cute.

Adorable. Don't choke. Don't choke because you're going to have to do a lot of suits.

That was really... Okay. You want to give it to her for what? There we go.

She's got very unique methods. Right. That's called the stuff method. That's the get it done method.

The banana kiss. But I do also appreciate the slow taking the time and there's something to that too.

Right. But the instructions were do it quick. You're right. Winning.

That was the instruction for this. We should have a sex olympics here. Really I agree. And then there should be a contest.

Like a marathon. Like who can suck the banana the longest without it falling apart. Who can ride the motor bunny alone?

Who can ride the motor bunny alone? Absolutely. Speaking of the motor bunny. Are you ready?

Oh wait. You're a winner so you can take her. I was the winner. You're the winner.

The winner should always be generous. Billionaires. You fucking billionaires. When you're the winner you should be generous.

True. You steal enough from everybody. Just give us back a little bit. Just a little.

Just a little. So we can live with honor and beauty. And live with the pursuit of happiness. So actually

down down down down. We're going to do now a little promotional moment. Maurice actually told me on the break

that he knew of the doctor season block down. I think you're awesome.

You're an inspiration to others. You really care. And that means a lot to a lot of us. Thank you.

Carrying means more than anything. And I think we need more of it. Thank you for that. Wow. You're even more eloquent.

Well spoken Maurice. I'm just so tired. Thank you. That's really sweet.

You're the serviceman right? Harry. I really appreciate that. Yeah.

I've been around for a while. Still kicking and twerking. Still awesome.

Thank you. Thank you for finally coming around. So you used to watch the TV show? Yes.

I'm actually a long time. The HBO or the cable in LA? Well I tried it.

It was on and off thing because of the kind of jumping around a little bit. Trying to be promotional. No, it's cool.

I didn't have the HBO but I did have the cable part. Yeah. Well every once in a while they still show a rerun

of the HBO. So tune in. Yeah. And meanwhile

this show of course is much crazier than anything I did on HBO. First of all, they wouldn't let me get political. I mean they were

for a little bit of sex. Yeah, they were. A lot of titillation. Titillation.

They didn't want a titillation. Real sex. Titillation. Was that actually like

conversations you had with them? They were like, you can do anything you want with sex but nothing about politics. They didn't say I could do anything I wanted

with sex. No. No. It was funny because they wanted me to

talk about female ejaculation but not actually show it. But they did like

to see titties and a flash of pussy and no dicks. No dicks. Although they liked the dildos a lot.

They loved the dildos. The dildos are like party favors at a circus or something. Sounds like my cam show.

Yeah. No dicks. But I think there's a place for dicks. I'm not sure.

All these guys are getting in so much trouble for showing their dicks. You shouldn't do it

non-consensually. Are you about to show your dick? I don't know. You know the cam girls get all offended

when they get like sent dick pics. You know what? I understand both sides.

I totally get offended. I don't get offended but it's like come on guy who's sending me just a picture of your dick

alone. Okay. Unless we're in love or in an affair

of some sort. Unless I say hey let me put you on a dick. Oh and then they would instantly.

Of course. But I don't. If you're invited. It's the consensuality that's key.

How's the lighting on those dicks usually? You know some varies. Totally varies.

You guys pay attention to that with the lighting and the angle and shit like that. Is there a right way or wrong?

There isn't. It's like porn. Some are raw and some make it artistic. And I have to make it do that.

Because my clients do send me pictures of their dicks. My sex therapy clients

do send me pictures of their penises. They're all types. The good, the bad, the ugly.

You need a microphone if you're going to type. That's why you like this therapy. When I'm ready for it I'm happy

and sometimes excited. And if I'm not excited I'm at least empathetic like aww. I feel good.

It's a happy feeling. It's a good feeling. Maybe a compassionate feeling. But it's all about consent.

That's where that comes in. We welcome the dicks. I want to let the dicks out there know that.

There's all this anti-dick talk. There's a lot of anti-dick talk going on. And I can appreciate that.

If you show your dick and I haven't asked for it it's like aww. Dick lives matter too. Dick lives matter.

Dick lives matter. They should do that. They should do that. That is so good.

I'm going to have to use that one. I was like the best one ever. Okay. Hashtag back.

Yeah. Okay guys. You don't have to show your dick. Don't pull it out.

I know we don't have porn stars here or I would insist. But I back to the pornography

okay. So you want to recognize the motor bunny? I do.

I've seen it on the Howard Stern show and the The Symbian and now the motor bunny I'm like I need to show. Yeah exactly.

You know this is like even better. Okay. Okay. Well I think we should do that

before you do the Bonobovo communion and water board Phoenix because she now has to do a very important

task which is to wrap the motor bunny in sarant wrap.

Because this is the hygienic ritual. The hygienic ritual. And did you want to use an attachment or just ride it

like a plane? Like a horse? Try it like naturally. Okay.

I'm just getting the option. I know. It does come with attachment. I know it's a tough decision.

No I understand. And that's fine. So let's have some this is what you guys are really good for

besides your dicks that upper body. We're good at reaching for things.

I know there's a few other things. Top shelves. Okay so here we go. Here we go.

And so you're going to put that right there. And I'll get over here. I've got all these

dildonic deities. I know. How does this work? Okay we're going to show you how it works.

You are going to stand there and look beautiful and you may speak also but now you are going

to wrap the motor bunny. Phoenix isn't like this but I feel that she's very capable and she's going

to wrap the motor bunny in the saran wrap. Yes this is where it goes. Around we go once around

and that should do it. Maybe Harry can help with the heavy lifting. There's that.

Upper body strength. This is a big machine girl. Take your time. We're all doing good up here.

They're enjoying it. You want to make sure it's nice and wrapped. Do it. What time is it now?

Two doesn't hurt. Four cheeks doesn't hurt. I'm doing just fine. It's a recent thing.

It's a recent thing. You've tapped into another source. Should we get towel? I've never done it in an audience way.

So what you have to do is Is that okay? Or do you want to get on this time? Alright so now

you are going to ascend the throne of the motor bunny. You know what

I think it should be turned around though because this is the controls. Wait.

This is the way you ride it. This is the way. Now you are going to take off a few unnecessary items.

Gentlemen please sit in your seats. Your signed seats.

Please behave yourselves. We will have a striptease to the kingster.

She better. The kingster. Here she is. Lexi girl.

Live from Bonoboville on the Dr. Susan Block show. I

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