It’s funny how the last Saturday of Masturbation Month always falls in the middle of Memorial Day Weekend. How are we to conjoin such odd bedfellows? Manhandle those hot dogs, boys! Mash those potatoes, ladies! Memorial Day signals the start of summer, heating up with sexy fun and the sizzling smell of fresh barbeque. Of course, Memorial Day is also a requiem for the dead—the people who have been barbequed in America’s Perma-Wars. The American dead, that is. The other dead can get their own holiday, right? Memorial Day is for America’s dead soldiers. We are the Masturbation Nation serving the Multi-National Corporations of America (even if they’re based in Hong Kong).

It’s funny how the last Saturday of Masturbation Month always falls in the middle of Memorial Day Weekend. How are we to conjoin such odd bedfellows? Manhandle those hot dogs, boys! Mash those potatoes, ladies! Memorial Day signals the start of summer, heating up with sexy fun and the sizzling smell of fresh barbeque. Of course, Memorial Day is also a requiem for the dead—the people who have been barbequed in America’s Perma-Wars. The American dead, that is. The other dead can get their own holiday, right? Memorial Day is for America’s dead soldiers. We are the Masturbation Nation serving the Multi-National Corporations of America (even if they’re based in Hong Kong).