Kinky Krampus

Full transcript of Kinky Krampus on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

You need to talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else? You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves, but my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy

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all you children of sex, and we are all children of sex. With a capital X, can I hear an amen? Can I hear an A-women? A-women.

Thank you, Captain Max for being in that call and response there. Yes indeed, it's the holidays and the holy days. Is it not? And if you are tuned into the Dr. Susan Block show, live from Bonoboville right now,

well it is Krampus. That's right, brothers and sisters, the holy, a holly day of the dark side of Santa. And a Hollywood movie, you know, which is how come I kind of know about it. And Gonzo told me about it.

And it's all over the internet, right? It's a crazy holiday, holy days. It's actually quite ancient. Yes indeed, brothers and sisters, rather pagan, has to do with the devil,

which is a dildo, of course, here on the Dr. Susan Block show, the devil is a dildo. Also, Jesus is a dildo. And honestly, whose drink is this? Somebody get this drink, please.

And honestly, the baby Jesus is a butt plug. So we are equal opportunity, I guess, offenders. And we apologize for all offense that we have given, except tonight is the night, catch the horns. Yes, some of my horns are provided by Agua Coco-Leaf Lecker.

And then these are just my horny horns. They are the devil horns, originally the horns of quite a good guy named Pan. Pan, the god of the wild. And aren't we all kind of wild?

You know? Oh, see you hear that wild sound. Yes indeed we are. And Pan is the original god of the wild who the church turned into the devil with the hooves.

And yeah, he likes the goats. And, you know, he likes the nymphs. He likes everybody, Pan. And he's a little pushy.

You gotta run away from Pan sometimes or turn yourself into a tree. But, you know, he's not a murderer. No, he doesn't bomb anybody also. And the church just made him into the devil, the worst.

Absolute worst. And then he kind of came up in a way as Krampus around, oh, I guess, a thousand years ago. You know, Santa was just beginning to, you know, kind of ply his trade. And, you know, I guess there weren't very many shopping centers, but he would bring gifts.

And somebody would have to get them. And in Germany, if you were a bad girl or boy, a naughty girl or boy, then you wouldn't get any gifts. And it wasn't like America where you got gifts anyway. You did not get gifts.

You got Krampus whacking you with a bunch of things like this, like a collection of branches, and would whack you and hard and then bring you down to hell. It was terrible. It is.

And it kept coming up through cultures in Germany and Austria. The church despised Krampus because people kind of worshiped Krampus in a way, because after all, he was the latest manifestation of Pan. And there's something kind of kinky about him, you know, and whacking all these naughty people.

And anyway, the Nazis really outlawed him. And you drew Krampus or talked about Krampus. Concentration camp, which is, you know, beyond Krampus. Until after World War II, when Krampus came up as a punisher of not naughty children,

but their mothers, naughty, sexy, mommies, milfs. I mean, hot, voluptuous women that you'd see these cartoons of. Look it up. It's all over the internet.

Anyway, now, yes, it is all over the internet as well as in, let's see, Austria, Germany, Italy, Max, Slovenia, young men run through the streets, dressed as Krampus with horns and other, you know, sort of, I don't know, kind of furry things. I didn't wear the whole furry outfit.

But I guess they're trying to look like actual goats. And they run through the streets causing mischief of sorts. And that is Krampus knocked. So we are celebrating it tonight here on the Doctor Susan Block Show for the first time in Bonoboville.

Well, I'm glad you're excited. But before we do any celebrations of seasons beatings with our amazing guests, Captain Max, it's the holidays. Yes, Doc.

And the mass murders keep coming. And they're coming and coming. You know, Krampus is not about murder. It's just about a little whipping.

So you're not supposed to be like shooting people. That's not part of the folklore, you know. But it's happening. It's happening.

It's happening more and more. And last week it was a Planned Parenthood Clinic. We talked about that. We did.

And we can barely recover from that. Not that there weren't some other little mass murder, little, I say, in between. But then we have, oh, and of course the week before it was Paris. And then this week it's right in our own backyard.

It's one of the few wars where no soldiers are dying, only civilians. Exactly. It's the civilians that are dying in this war. It's a military industrial complex.

The war has come home, my fellow Southern Californians. It has. See, this guy, he worked for like some sort of health department or something. Or, I don't know.

He's an inspector. Something. I never trusted those inspectors. Anyway, it's always easy to talk about that in hindsight.

But he got radicalized. He fell in love, I guess, got married. This is a romance. This is a Bonnie and Clyde story, which makes a double triple sick.

And she swore allegiance to ISIS. Okay. And then they went to war. They armed themselves to the teeth, of course, which you can do here in America.

Yeah, you can do that. Wearing horns is considered weird. But having, you know, a whole bunch of machine guns in your closet is like normal. So they had that.

And then they brought them to his place of work and, you know, went to war with America. Or San Bernardino. I mean, I don't get it. I mean, I get it.

Yeah. There's this war, as you say, Max, that civilians are dying in. And not so much the actual military that we, you know, have all this support for the troops. The troops are all amongst us.

We are the troops. The draftees, we weren't even volunteers. No, this is a mercenary army. Only 1% of the population in this country is fighting in this war.

They're mostly poor people. And it's tragic. So what's next? The U.S. bomb ISIS again and again, I guess, is that what's next?

And then they behead us or shoot us some more. Is that what's next? Or maybe we could shoot them with a bacon wrapped gun. Like Ted Cruz and then have breakfast afterwards.

Yeah, it's not a machine gun, Ted. It's just a gun. But machine gun is what these guys had. That's why they could take down so many people so quickly.

You know, there's got to be another way. There's got to be another way. Shooting, bombing, shooting, bombing, beheading, making bacon, you know. I mean, making bacon.

Jesus, this guy. I can't look at bacon. I like bacon, but you know, yuck. I keep wondering if it's cooked with a gun barrel.

Anyway, there's got to be another way to say it in shorthand. It's the bonobo way. You know, I mean, it's complicated, you know. But we got to make like bonobos, not baboons.

I think that's my view. My view is, yes, you do have to take sides in this war. You want to be inside of guns or bonobos? I don't know.

I'm on the side of bonobos. I can't pick with all these people. I'm not on any of these people's sides with the guns and the bombs. I don't know.

I can't. I don't, because I don't think it works, honestly. Maybe if it worked, you know, but it doesn't. And it just grows, you know, when you bomb them and little terrorists grow and they infiltrate

because that's the way the world is now. We are very small. We are family, you know. So the family is here at Thanksgiving, at Christmas dinner.

Krampus is here at Christmas. And if we don't, you know, honor the evil fairy at the table, then the evil fairy will put us all under spell. Except it's not that romantic.

It's just about shooting and bombing. Anyway, I think there is another way. I think there is. I've been hearing people talk about it.

I heard that guy, Mandy Potenkin, talk about it, right? The guy that's in, what's it called? The Homeland. He's in Homeland.

Right. He doesn't know about bonobos yet. But he is, he's all about this. He's all about sharing, getting to know each other, you know, sharing.

I guess it's about sharing. Bonobos share sex. They share pleasure, hugs. Hugs, you know, I'm not saying we should have sex with everybody.

Although, ultimately, that is the answer. Good idea. The enemy is sexy anyway. Come on.

It's just that we hate them. Or is it that they're sexy because we hate them? Anyway, let's emphasize the positive. Otherwise, it's all fight, fight, fight.

And, you know, I don't know if America's might, might, might is working the same way anymore. I mean, that kind of firepower, that kind of military industrial complex does not work. In San Bernardino, in a center. If you're an honest working person there, which any of us could be, you know, it doesn't work there.

Listen, we can't defeat people in flip-flops, okay? Literally. For years we're bombing them, bombing them, bombing them. You know, where's Saddam Hussein when we need him?

Anyway, the odd... Where's Colonel Gaddafi when we need him? I don't know. I think the other advocate is that these were two people, kind of in love, I guess, or married at least,

and a girl and a guy. I mean, a male and a female, you know. And I'm always surprised to see female murderers. And, yeah, you know, maybe he was doing it...

Maybe she was doing it because of him, but it seemed more like he was doing it because of her. I mean, she was the one that was swearing allegiance to the ISIS, you know, whatever, grand mufti, you know, on Facebook. And anyway, it's like it made me realize there's a romance to this. And, yeah, there is a romance to evil, you know.

And so what are we going to combat that with? Well, I think there's a different kind of romance. I got a different kind of romance, you know. We're the Bonnie and Clyde of the Bonobo Revolution.

My captain and I. And I do think it's important to have romance. And I do think that that's part of it somehow. I mean, you know, that these people found each other and this cause and then shot up San Bernardino.

We got to understand what's going on here. We got to try. We got to try. Maybe we'll never understand and we'll all be blown to queendom come with all these Bonnie and Clydes. But I think it's worth a try.

It's worth studying our Kiss and Cousins, the Bonobos. And I know I seem freaky talking about that all the time, like I've been saying it's the year of the Bonobo, you know. And I wrote this book, right? And I spank everybody with it if they've read it or not.

And of course, on Crumpus Nut, it's a good time for spankings. But I think that the Bonobos are going to make a breakthrough in less than 24 hours. Actually, if you're tuned in to me live because Anderson Cooper, the Santa Claus of 60 Minutes, is going to the Super Bonoboville of Lola. Yeah, Bonobo. No, not this Bonoboville, but the one where actual wild Bonobos are raised

because they're orphans who were orphaned by hunters who shot their mothers in the Congolese rainforest. And Lola Bonobo picks up these babies who are sometimes left by the roadside or they try to sell them and it doesn't really work and they're very sick and traumatized because their mothers were shot for bushmeat. And Lola Bonobo nurses them and brings them back to health and sometimes releases them into the wild.

And so Anderson Cooper is visiting them and getting Bonobo love. And I mean, I don't know how much they're going to talk about the Bonobo sex acts and how that creates peace amongst them, but they do call them the make love, not war chimpanzees. So it's going to be a breakthrough. So tune in tomorrow night, 60 minutes, right?

Okay, I think that's CBS or is it right? Is that CBS anyway? So what else do I have to announce? Yes, a shout out to Serena and Erlene for joining me in declaring 2015 to be the Year of the Bonobo because I really think it kind of is. And that doesn't mean that, you know, next year isn't Year of the Bonobo too.

Right. So let's see. Krampus Nacht is here. The dark side, the horned and horny side of Santa. And yes, I brought out Eve because she just seemed to be Krampus-y tonight. In fact, if she was a human woman, I'd say she has crumps because she's shedding, which is kind of like having your period when you're a snake.

And so I think I'm going to put her away because it's like, you know, she has dandruff. Although it is kind of nasty like Krampus Nacht, but I wouldn't want to get nasty snakeskin all over my beautiful guest that I am going to invite into my broadcast bed. Could you open that please?

And yes, say good night, Evee. Yeah. All right. Did you get a shot of Evee? You naughty girl. Okay. Bye-bye, Evee. And yes, I think that was St. Patrick that hung out with snakes.

Or no, he chased away the snakes. I'm sure that Krampus was a snake man with a forked one. Anyway, my guest, my featured guest, is someone that I really missed. Yeah. She hasn't even been in the new Bonoboville, but here she comes.

Odette. Oh, actually, I'm going to put you on this side because my microphone's on that side. Odette Delacroix, come here and let's have some applause. Yes, yes, yes, bring that. Yes. Look at you. It's so nice to be back here.

Back in... Back in Bonoboville. But new Bonoboville. It is new Bonoboville to you.

Yes. Yes, we're out on the west side. And I love it so far. You love it? Yes.

Yeah, it's nice. We like it. We love it. It is nice. What a great space. We have a garden, you know. A courtyard.

Garden of Eden and balconies. Very romantic. It is. And now it's kind of Christmasy, Krampusy. Yeah, I wore my Christmas dress and everything.

Yes, you look very holly dazed. I'm sure you're dazing all the holy people out there with your beauty. And you're more beautiful than ever. Oh, well...

Well, you are. Well, okay. We age like wine, don't we? Yeah.

So, you are sparkling wine now. Definitely. So, you know, I mean, a lot of our regular viewers and listeners know Odette Delacroix from, you know, various shows that we did back at the old speakeasy downtown. And, gosh, you were in the masturbation show,

Riding the Sybian, which we're going to play during the break time we are, because it's... What is this? Oh, that's my collar.

Oh, fell off. Oh, well, I have another one. And you were... I think you were at the second-to-last show we did at the speakeasy with the cacophony society.

And you were at my birthday where you got fire. Now, the picture looks like it's coming out her ass. Yeah, that was not from something I ate. That was from a professional fire breather.

Important to note that difference because some of your fans think you had some hot sauce. Right, I noticed that. Oh, but that, I mean, it probably made me some money because that's a thing. And you are quite the entrepreneur.

And it's been quite the journey since the last time I've been on here. I've started a brand new site. It turns one in January. So, that's an exciting point for it.

Well, congratulations. Thank you. So, you're almost one year old. That, yes, that business?

And what is the site? It's pateteversusplump.com. Patete versus plump. I'm trying to guess which one you are.

It might take me as long as it took the police to call it a terrorist attack. No. Yeah. Yes, speaking of heavy news, that's my heavy news with the heavy woman.

Now, you kind of, do you have a personal lust or fetish yourself, or is this an entrepreneurial kind of niche for you or both? You know, speaking about making love, not war, I was brought up in a really petite French-Canadian family in Maine.

And my parents used to pretty much make my sisters and I work out, like six days a week with them. They were both fitness enthusiasts. And they used to see larger women and make these terrible comments

and try to ingrain that in us. Then I moved to LA and that's tucked away somewhere in my head. And when I got a custom video request maybe four years ago from a fan, he said, I want you to do a lesbian scene full on hardcore

with the largest performer you can find. And there was a part of me that almost didn't want to do it because of how I was brought up. But I said, you know what, that's a challenge for me.

And maybe I'll have a breakthrough. And we bonded, her and I bonded and continued to shoot together until I got enough content with her, her other large friends and myself. I felt comfortable making a whole website.

So not only did it challenge my perception of what beauty even means and make me accept every kind of body type, but I have lifelong friends. I have my most successful business to date from them.

And they just changed my life in such a positive way. So the site kind of represents that for me. That's awesome. So you are now like a large woman, what would you say, a lover?

A large woman lover? Yeah, lover, enthusiast, supporter, partner. But it doesn't make you want to be large. It never made me want to change who I am.

But what I saw in them, which is regardless of body size or height or weight is their confidence. They could go on camera and take off their clothes and had more confidence than anyone else in the room.

And that's what I really liked about these. They call them BBW and for those who don't know, that's Big Beautiful Woman models. And they love how they look, how they feel.

They have a lot of great life energy. So do we have one here? I would love to bring some on the show. Oh, okay. I thought you might have brought one, but I wasn't sure.

Hopefully in the future. Okay, that's fine. I have two flying and unfortunately they're coming tomorrow. Because you're just so descriptive that it's great for the radio people,

but the video people are going, well, let me see all this fabulous jiggling flesh. I mean, Dayton is quite heavy up top, but nowhere else. Oh, I have two big men on the site.

Uh-huh. Big men. You like them too. I love, like they have the same kind of attitude. Do you like it partly because, I mean, you're different. Do you like the difference?

I mean, because that is, in a way, a very bonobo thing. Bonobos like strangers. And it's part of that, I think, the bonobo way, that idea that you don't just like a creature that's just like you.

Now, I'm not saying they go across species because, or that anyone should do that. No. But just within the human framework, just like bonobos within the bonobo framework,

like strange bonobos. They like bonobos they don't know. Oh, well, definitely Dayton is a very bonobo-esque lady who likes new women.

Hello. I like big girls too. And how come her microphone isn't working? I don't know.

Oh, there it is. Okay. Is it on? It's good. It's good. It's looking good.

All right. And she has her horns on. Do you have any horns? Yes, indeed. And you glittered up your horns. I did.

Very creative. Very nice. Well, I'm a fan of Mr. Crumpus. I like a good spanking.

Mr. Crumpus. I'm scared of the whip, though. That is a switch. It's a switch because...

In the south, they call that a switch. This is what he would carry. It's scary. You know, I might just give a book spanking,

but I might... I'll take a spanking with that. I've been naughty this year. You have.

You have. Do you want to do one Crumpus spanking? I will do one Crumpus spanking. I'll take it.

I'm going to... I feel like there might even be more than one. Do you want one? I might need one.

You might. Guys, behind you, could you fetch me? Sure. I'd be happy to fetch you anything.

I think we should be wearing this, actually. With the naughty side facing. Yes, I will hold this for you to put that on. Look at that.

Very appropriate for the evening. Yes, we are getting into the holiday spirit and Crumpus. Now, do you know about Crumpus? Yes, I know a little bit about the history of it.

And I was fascinated by some of the postcards people would send others. Especially, like you mentioned, pre-World War II, pre-Nazi regime postcards are amazing. They were so dark.

And the children in them. They're almost like child abuse, really. I mean, just the visual is a child abuse in and of itself. I love how dark people were back in those days.

They weren't afraid to get into the nitty-gritty about what happens when you're naughty. The nitty-gritty of naughty. Exactly. Who doesn't like to be called naughty, though?

You're so naughty. Well, naughty doesn't sound too bad in English. I'm not sure how it would work in the alpine languages, especially the ones they used to speak.

I think they took it a lot more seriously. I think they got, you know, the switch. Ouch. The naughty ones.

That's what you get in the south is a switch. Well, maybe so. I was raised in the northeast where we were lonely punished by being sent to our room without television.

That was the worst. You're so fortunate. I had to shovel the driveway. But look at what a pervert I've become.

You know, you can get there in many, many ways. But now we should say that where did you go to school? Loyola Marymount University. Loyola Marymount University.

A wonderful Jesuit institution here. What did you major in? Right down the road. English.

English. So I need a book spanking. Yes. Yes.

You might get a book and a book spanking. You get the spanking because you haven't yet read the book because you haven't been here yet to get the book. Okay.

Fair enough. Fair enough. Okay. So you get the spanking also because it is crampus.

Yes. You're going to love it. But I don't know if I want to spank you in this outfit because it's so pretty.

And I wouldn't want to knock the sequins off. Yes. Can I take it off for you? I might need some assistance.

Yay. I will hold your microphone. And here she is. Odette.

Delacroix. A beautiful Catholic college graduate. And a tiny little cute butt there. She makes me look huge.

And look at this. Look at this cute little butt that needs a book spanking. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

And now I think she needs more help with her dress. Halfway there. Like Eve's shedding her skin right now. It is except with less flakes.

Yes. And here is your little head set. And because I would love to. Because you need to hear yourself.

I can tell. Oh okay. I'm back. You are back.

I'm back. I'm in a much better situation now. Wardrobe wise. Yes.

You look really ready for crampus knock. Really fabulous. Absolutely. I just have to say.

Yes. You have great nipples. Lovely nipples. They're like erasers.

Let me make them very taekwondo roga pencil. Number two pencils for you. Thank you. Such a good girl.

They're top shelf pencil erasers. But you know what? I think we need the naughty hat on you. Gotta have the naughty hat.

It's that time of year. I need to constantly remind everyone that I'm naughty. Oh exactly. Because I need a fair excuse for this books banking.

Whoa. Absolutely. You're so cute. You are adorable.

My gosh. Where'd you come from? The woods of Maine. Eight years ago.

Maine. Yes. And you came out to Loyola Marymount University. When I was 18.

And now I'm 26. Still here. Still love LA. Right.

And you know maybe I'll stay for another eight more years. At least we need you. So now you were brought up a nice little Catholic girl. Right.

Yes. My parents especially before they had teenagers as kids. Because that challenged their faith. And more than one way.

They were devout Catholics. Church every Sunday. No excuse. We would have flu season pretty badly in Maine.

About every other year. That didn't matter. Flu week. When I get passed around the house we still would go to church.

And still shake everyone's hand. Which in hindsight seems like a terrible idea. But did you get spanked as a child? I didn't.

They but they had their own forms. They gave us manual labor. Well good for them. I think that's better.

I do. I do. I did wood chopping. That's actually manual labor.

That's also better than the way I was punished. Which was just sent to your room. You know. Which was.

Susie I got spanked and manual labor. My father had two daughters before he had any sons. Well he just covered all the bases didn't he. He had matched us and made us work.

We best have a job or he'll find one. All right. Well. Well.

I think we have to have the first spanking of the night from. Doctors Susie. Mrs. Krampus. Yes.

Where's my Krampus? Oh he's at the bar. No no there he is. I was just saying I am Mrs. Krampus.

So you must be Mr. Krampus. Me? Or are you Mr. Krampus? I'm just grumpy.

Crumpy grumpy. You're one of the seven dwarves. Okay. No this looks like one of the seven dwarves actually with tits.

And this is a healed Odette. Healed Odette. Yes. Absolutely.

But not platforms. No. You are discreet. You keep yourself tiny.

It's so cute. I'm small and proud. Hanging out with all the large big beautiful women. And I mean did you have dinner with them and stuff?

Yes. I actually have lived with them. They have a BBW cam house in Baltimore. And do you eat a lot less than them or do you eat the same amount?

I eat less than them. But I'm a pretty good eater for my size. It's ingrained in me that I need to finish my plate because growing up that was what we get in the most trouble for is we didn't clean our plates.

So I'm good with that. So that's why you like hanging out with BBWs because they'll clean your plate if you don't. Yes they will. Nothing goes to waste in that house.

That was great. And with that we must commence the spanking. Okay. Alright.

Whoops. A book's spanking. Yes. I got one too.

Yeah. How do I assume the position? I think you're going to help me with this. I would love to.

Oh is it going to be a double OTK? Yes. I think a double OTK. What's a OTK?

Not complete knockout. OTK is... No, no, no. It's not a knockout.

It's over the knee. Or in this case knees. So you get close to me. Can you help her out of her bra please?

Oh yes. Where is this zipper? Although this is quite a gorgeous corset. Thank you.

Christmasy or Krampusy is the case maybe. It looks a little Krampusy actually. And it looks better off. Yeah a little Krampy.

Right. Exactly. And we just slide that over. Don't forget your horns.

Ooh. Oh yeah. And by the way I want to give a shout out to Bill from Iraq who was a big fan of yours. Oh well hello Bill.

He's been tweeting about you all I don't know. For the past all week really. We can have friends from the Middle East as well. Yes.

Yes. We can all be friends. We can all be more than friends. Well he's actually not from the Middle East.

I think he was there serving there for a few years. And he's back. He's quite back. Maybe in spirit I don't know.

Across the knee young lady. Oh so tiny. I'll have to. Yeah.

She's gonna really have to stretch. Here she goes. And down. Oh my gosh.

Look at her little laugh. Look at this. Yes. And let's move your naughty here so that it's quite visible.

This is a look at how beautiful this is. And look at how beautiful this butt is. I almost hate to spank it. But you know.

I have to. Because it's Krampus night. It's Krampus. And you will pay for not reading the bonobo way yet.

You naughty little school girl. Okay where's her microphone? I want to hear her yelps. Where is it?

Everywhere. It's a bit. And here is Krampus' assistant. We're falling apart now.

Okay. It has quickly become a Shibara scene. Okay. All right.

And this goes right here. There we go. Not that kind of Shibari. Okay.

And Krampus' knot is here. And the little Odette has been a naughty girl. She said so herself. And no she's nice.

Well she is very nice. This hat goes both ways. I see. As do you I guess.

Or you only like girls. You seem to go both ways. I go both ways. You like guys too.

Yes. All right. So let's get back to that book spanking. Because you have been a naughty girl.

And the blood really comes to your surface. Oh yes. I get nice rosy cheeks pretty fast. Yes you do.

When did you have your first spanking since you weren't spanked as a child? Oh probably. Ken Marcus' studio. Ken Marcus.

Shout out to Ken Marcus. I love Ken Marcus. He is a princess. He doesn't love Ken Marcus.

We do. He's taken a lot of nice pictures of him. Oh my gosh. Of so many wonderful people.

He has. And you have to lean back a little so I can even her up. There we go. But your tits stay up on their own.

They're very good that way. You're fake. They feel real but look fake. Let's hear it for Daytona and Odette Delacroix.

And reach around and give me the ring. I won't give you a reach around. It's a little bit of after care from Mrs. Krampus. Wonderful.

And you may rise. Unlike the real Krampus I am not carrying you down to hell. Because you're already there. You're in Bonoboville.

Yes indeed. And I hope you can't sit down. That makes you think about your sins for a second. Did you ever think about your sins?

I did confession once and I took it very seriously. I was quite young probably 11 years old when I did it for the first time. And I had spent a good amount of time in that booth with Father Rice. I still remember his name.

What did you confess? At that time it was interesting because I actually talked a lot about masturbating because my parents had always said that was a bad thing to do. And so I felt particularly ashamed about that.

And there were a couple other things. I used to like to steal things from the grocery store if my parents took me grocery shopping because I needed a way to entertain myself. Well that's another reason for me to spank you.

Because that's wrong of course. Do not shout, not steal. I guess I kind of agree with that. Although the redistribution of wealth needs to be done somehow or another.

But not that way exactly. But the masturbation, we want to get back to that. I just had a question. Was there a screen like the old days?

No, we were face to face. He couldn't masturbate anymore. Because I was wondering if he was masturbating. Well yeah, in the old days that's what they did.

See, Father Rice was about 80 when this all happened. He could be taking Viagra and then taking Confessions. What did he tell you? He told me to do a number of prayers.

That was really about it. He had zero comments about anything. I thought I was going to get feedback on something. I didn't know really how it worked.

He's like, okay, well, you know. And what were you doing? It doesn't count if you were in the shower. Okay, you were in the shower.

What I used to do, once I discovered that if you stuck something in there, it felt good. I was always looking for phallic objects. I can remember at my parents' house. And I hope they're not watching this right now.

Because I did tell my mom that I'd be going on tonight. But they had this little flower vase. Oh, nothing like this. No, I had no access to that, living in the woods in Maine.

But they had this very phallic ribbed flower vase. And I used to take the fake flowers out of it every night, rinse it out, masturbate with it, and then return it before they woke up the next morning and put the flowers back in.

So on the table was literally my dildo for about two years. Well, now that's not really safe, because it's glass, but it's very ingenious. And yes, we must applaud your ingenuity. And then you kept that going for two years.

And then finally, I remember the day I came home from school and my mom's like, oh, wait, look what I bought. And she bought a new centerpiece for the table. And I was like...

Not my size, mom. Yeah, it was like a big globe. But you know, that was your first dildo, a flower vase. Now I have a whole room full of them.

Right. So have you ever ridden a mad ex-bike? A mad... No.

I'm just going to take this little... Well, someone at the bar wants to know why... I think that's handsome Hollywood Jake. He said, why not?

Why haven't you ridden a mad ex-bike? Uh, I will in time. I'm waiting for that opportunity. Okay.

I think. Well, perhaps tonight will be the night. It's Krampus night. Now, we only have ten more minutes before break.

So, you know, the bike is over there, by the way. You can kind of see it. And it's a holiday. And that's a pimped out.

Maybe it is time. It's going to be, but... I've saved myself for 26 years. First, because you are...

Were you an altar girl, by the way? No. Okay, but you did communion. Yes, I did the communion.

And did you do communion with us? Bonoboville communion? The Jell-O shots? Well, I guess in those days we were doing Jell-O shots.

We do all different things. It always involves salt and an alcoholic beverage. And I do believe the beverage tonight would be appropriately because of our horned masks.

The Agua. Have you tried Agua? I have. Cocoa leaf liquor?

No. Sounds lovely. May I have one of my lovely helpers? Elves of Krampus here is the fabulous

Biz Bonobo, Dr. Susan Block Show producer, aka Elizabeth Aston. Can I hear an A-Women? A-Women.

She looks dangerous. Like a military thing going on in that... Krampus is from the Alpine. Yes, it's very Alpine and Nazi,

sort of, without... No, Nazi. It's Lederhosen. Why do I think that's Nazi?

Like Heidi or something, right? Okay, so... I was going for the military thing. See, all these women on the stage here...

It's all kinds of things. I'm full of holiday cheer. I'm about to be. Yeah, and the horns of Agua.

All these guys on stage, all these women on stage here have been radicalized. Absolutely. There are answers to revolution.

And where's my salt? Jakey is going to get it. Oh! Jakey, or Dayton, or someone,

we need the body of Santa. That's right. Fantastic. Fantastic.

All right, so in the meantime, also the glasses. Yes, they're right. It seems like...

Agua glasses are right here. They're in a different state of being here. All right? And I got a good gift from Dayton today.

A good gift, all right. You did, and it was a coincidence. All right, but we need the glasses before we get the gift, the glasses,

and perhaps the filling of the glasses as well. And then the gift, perhaps, and the salt is in an orange cup. You know what?

It's not my fault. I said it needed to be crystal. No, it's your fault, and you're going to be punished.

It's true. It is definitely your fault. Can I just not get the switch? I hear it.

Put it in here. Okay, yeah. It needs to be clear. Yeah, it does.

We don't want to have it. Orange sort of clashes with our outfits. No clashing allowed. All right, so now we have the salt.

And now you are, of course, going to be in demand as an altar. But I will ask you if you would like to take your communion off of any of these lovely altars here,

like me or Dayton here and her nipples. Dayton has quite the plentiful altar. She does. I think how it's in my pussy, too.

All right, Dayton, present yourself as an altar. What do you know? She's very happy to be able to serve you in a spiritual way. This is her holy mission.

And strangers no more after this. Actually, the holy mission is down below. But this is the booby mission. How would you like me?

Let's just have you kind of here before her. You can bend down and take a lick. Yeah, you can lean down. Bend down.

And she takes a lick from the altar. And she must remain naughty. She is so naughty. The little altar girl.

Well, she wasn't an altar girl, but she did take communion and confessed her sin of masturbation. Wow, she's really good at it. Odette is good at whatever she does, I think.

I think she was good in college. And she's good in the college of carnal knowledge. And since you licked both, I will sprinkle the holy salt on both. And now you will drink or you will actually lick.

No, lick, lick, lick first time. Jumping the gun. And now she licks from the lovely mounds. And, whoop.

Dayton likes this. This is the Dayton twist to Bonoboville communion. You have to be really thirsty for this. Here she goes.

Good girl. Yummy, yummy. Let's have a man and a woman. Except I think one nipple still has salt on it.

Lick that. Leave no salt behind. Lick, lick, lick. Yum.

Give more. All right. So now, who wants to take communion? I suppose you're often.

I don't want to, I suppose because we have to get consensuality very clear nowadays or any day really. Yes. Would you like to offer up your titties as communion?

Of course. Oh, okay. How about your vagina? Yeah, it's mostly tit.

Would you like to offer your vagina? I would like to offer my vagina. Me too. A kiss.

How about both? Yeah, that's fine. Wonderful. Well, we only have three minutes.

We have to do it in a jiffy. Ooh, we're gonna hustle. I could hustle. You can do it twice.

And here she goes. Fizz, you go ahead. Wow. Brilliant and beautiful.

Oh, dead. Oh, she's dead. Oh, my God. You're so cute.

What a girl. I saw her. She had a big push. Wait, we have to turn.

Whoa, beautiful. We have to turn. We have to turn her head around to say nice. No, we don't.

She's still naughty. We know she's naughty. Look at her little pussy. So cute.

You have a very pretty pussy there. Krampus will part your legs now. That's where I'll hold you. Oh, it's nice.

Let me arrange. The gift comes. You know the whole idea of Krampus doing this to little children, I really, really don't approve of any of that,

except she looks like, I don't know, I don't want to say. But, you know, there's something, but how old are you? Let's just say it.

I'm 26. 26. All right. She looks 13 years old.

This is me, you know, with the look I call Rating My Mom's Closet look, because that's always how, what I feel like when I dress up and put on lipstick,

it looks like when I was 10 years old. All right. The Nobleville Communion. Yes.

Okay. May I lick your vagina? Yes, you may. Thank you.

Go around front. There she goes. The Krampus Fairy. Dayton Reigns.

Why are we doing this on the rug? I don't know. Because she got rid of her rug. Get up on the bed.

You're right. You're right. It's kind of dirty on the rug. I mean, not dirty, but people have been walking on the rug.

It's true. We cleaned the rug. Thank you, Miss Krampus. She got rid of hers.

Miss Krampus. We were a little distracted. Yes, yes, yes, indeed. Okay.

How about this? All right. Lean up against the bonobo. Wonderful.

Okay. Now we're in business. Now we're in business. There you go.

And beautiful. Oh, yes. Oh, salt, please. Right up there.

I can't reach it. Okay. This will be a first. I'm not going to put salt on my vagina.

I am not going to put it on the actual vagina. I don't know. I'm going to put it on the mound of Venus. Right there.

It might preserve it, though. Well, okay. You want a pickled pussy? You got a pickled pussy.

And Dayton does a very good job of looking it all up. She does. She leaves no grain of salt on lift. She's very enthusiastic about this.

Librication, lubrication, lubrication is the key to good sex as location, location, location. It's the key to real estate, you know. Look at this real estate brothers and sisters. She found the location.

It is a tiny plot of land. It's gone, but the lipstick is on your collar. I'll wear it with pride. Oh, yeah.

She did a good job. And now, whoa, you can pour it all over her. No. Okay.

Somebody should pour it down her throat because she likes to. Do you want it to do the honors? Yeah. And down the throat of Dayton Reigns goes Agua.

Cocoa leaf liquor. Makes your butt sweat. Wow. Wow.

Okay. So I think it might be time for the break now. And then maybe we'll have a Krampus-driven, mad ex-biker. We'll be right back.

But we're going to be right back with Odette Delacroix and Dayton Reigns and Elizabeth Ashton. So don't come yet and don't go away or Krampus going to get you. Hi, I'm Dr. Susan Block and I've just written a new book called

The Bonobo Way, inspired by my love for the make love not war great apes. You know, the ones who have a lot of sex in a bonobo sutra of positions, including face to face.

But it's not just how bonobos have sex. It's how they use sex to prevent murder and war, really. They're the only great apes that have never been seen killing each other. They practice what I call peace through pleasure.

With the females gently dominating the very happy, very sexually satisfied males. Bonobos are special, partly because they just are and partly because they're very, very close to us. Almost 99% genetically similar to us.

When it comes to being human, even being humane, bonobos can teach us so much, which brings me to us and more specifically to you. Is your inner bonobo longing to swing free?

Would you like to tap into the hot natural sex energy within you that you would? So you can better enjoy the pleasures in life and cope with the pain.

You know, the pain. And have more orgasmic, organic, sustainable sex. Who doesn't want that? Greater lust, greater trust, and better anger management.

And who couldn't use a little bit of that these days? So get the book, Learn the Bonobo Way. You'll be glad you did. Then you'll want to join Bonoboville,

a new global village for bonobo lovers and friends. And one last thing. The real bonobos are highly endangered, so a portion of all book sales go to

bonobo conservation groups working to save the wild bonobos from extinction. Read the bonobo way and learn why this could be the most important eco-sexual movement of our times.

And improve your love life. Others and sisters, we are going to have a Sybian ride for Masturbation Month. Woohoo!

So you've never been on a Sybian before? No, I've never been on one before. Okay. Now you are ready to ascend the throne.

Mr. Tracy, you are going to ride God's machine now. Put one leg right here, put the other right here,

and just position yourself comfortably. Put your clip right here. Okay, so here she goes. Uh-oh.

It's mounting the Sybian. Have you ever ridden a Sybian, by the way? Oh, I have. Many a times.

My favorite horse to ride. Have Sybian yoga, and experience it to the fullest. Go for the G-spot, go for the clip,

go for whatever works. Someone can come from their nipples. We've got for Jim Rado. Right in the Sybian.

Whoa! Holy shit. Yeah. That does the job.

Yeah, it's doing it, baby. Sybian strikes again. Yes, I do say that when it feels good. Live on DrSuzi.tv

from the womb room in Bonoboville. Ride on, cowboy. Take a deep breath. Deep breath.

Now relax. We never get tired of watching a pretty girl on the Sybian celebrate and masturbation month. Hallelujah!

That is a beautiful thing. Thank you, Dr. Susan Block, your wonderful human being. Wonderful human being, Dr. Susan Block.

Thank you, thank you. I think we have orgasm, Houston, and let's have a hand. We have lift-off, we have lift-off.

Bye, Sister Kenny. Testify that you masturbate, and you are not ashamed. I am not ashamed.

How was it? What's your report? My vagina is so tingly right now. It feels like pop rock. I'm just gonna take this home.

Take it off. I think it's bigger than your little body. That is the best product endorsement I've ever seen. Can I leave now?

Like, I'm ready. I'm... I don't think I can leave this room. Where's the husband?

You got the Sybian. You don't need the husband. Oh, my God! Whoa, whoa!

No matter, fall over. Hey, darling girl. I love you. I love you.

I think I have mine on my knee. And now... That's my girl. Here we are in the Garden of Canobis.

And it's Krampus Noct. And it's a time when the dark side of Santa, and Mrs. Santa, gets its horns on.

Horned and horny we are. And we go after the naughty boys and girls. Here on the Dr. Susan Block Show, it's only the naughty adult boys and girls.

Although we happen to have a naughty adult woman who looks... Like a little girl. I didn't say it, but...

I said it. Anyway. I have youthful features. She does.

And by the way, y'all who are out there who have this issue, which is a horrible issue to have, and I feel for you,

and you should worship someone like... 26-year-olds like me. A 26-year-old who looks like that thing you like. So, yeah.

She's here. She's here. She's 26 and college graduate. Loyola Marama. And naughty.

And she's the quintessential naughty girl that Krampus goes after. Ooh. Yes.

So I want to give a shout out to Wooty, Marcy Diamond. She is a big girl. She actually has quite a figure.

I mean, somehow it is quite... I don't know what to say. She has a fabulous booty. She has a fabulous booty.

Yeah. And it's very toned. Let's just say she works out. It's toned.

She is not... I don't mean to say anything politically incorrect, but she's not sloppy. Well, Donald Trump thinks it's okay to be...

He's tired of being politically... He's tired of being politically correct. I don't identify with Donald Trump. I know you don't.

But I... We're both entertainers, I know, except... And we both have run for president. They should have picked you.

Yeah, I know. Okay, so Wooty Marcy. We love you, Marcy Diamond, and we're excited about the future with the Institute.

Yay, Marcy! Yes, and maybe also with Odette, because she is a big girl lover. Yes.

Love the thick, the plump, the BBWs, everything in between and beyond. She is really... I wouldn't call...

I don't know. I guess the thing I would call her is Wooty, in the sense that she's got some booty. And she's a white girl with booty.

Wooty with the booty. Let's see. And who else do I want to shout out to here? Um...

I don't know. But Crampus Night, it's what it is. And I think... Is it time for my maiden voyage?

I was just thinking Crampus sort of rides a sleigh, like Santa, in a way. And so this is your sleigh, which is the Mad Ex Bike.

Finally, this is Odette first. And this is provided by Nick Salazar. Well, thank you, Nick. And it is...

Saint Nick? It is quite a bike. It doesn't actually get you anywhere, except in the erotic theater of the mind and the heart.

And so here she goes. I'm going somewhere. We do need to get a condom on here. So we have...

Yeah, because I don't want to have little babies of these. Glide... America. Speaking of America,

this has something to do with America. I guess this is to show that America does... America... Get my horns here.

America does make things other than guns and bombs. We make condoms, actually. And these are even vegan condoms, so there. So here.

And what are you doing, lying on the floor? Holding the mic for Fizz. I was holding the mic for Fizz. She wants the up skirt view of my head.

Oh, we have the condom. Okay. It is a pink condom in honor of something. Okay.

And, oh, so Dayton is licking the condom. Lubrication. Lubrication. And we are putting it on the Hitachi magic wand.

Oh, it's... Oh, and it broke. Sorry. Yeah.

Well, it's vegetarian, you know. Okay. We have another. All right.

Well, you know, when in doubt. All right. Ecor. Yes.

Ecor is from the Green Cross. We have a bonobo in the Green Cross, but he's a little drunkard right now. Ecor, would you like to have a better seat, like over here?

Yeah? Okay. Front row. This is Ecor, brothers and sisters.

He represents the medicinal corporation of the Green Cross. The doctors and the huts. So let's say an amen and an a-women, because the women love Ecor.

All right. And he's finally pronouncing it right. The wolf. All right.

The wolf. The wolf. Oh. Yeah.

Okay. So now we have a condom on there that actually works. See when the condom breaks? What do you do?

Use another one. Exactly. There you go. Yeah.

Okay. Would you like a microphone? Because he's an interesting rapper this guy. He did a rap for us.

You can have a little, uh, really inspirational. Yeah. So anyway, I like how it's covered with Ivy.

We also need someone very strong to stabilize the bike. Now first, It's slowly being redesigned. Before you sit on the bike, stand up.

Okay. Oh, this way. Wait, wait, wait. This way.

All right. I'm next. Okay. That was her.

Long time coming. Like you give to the racer that's about to run the race. Okay. So she's going to get on the Mad X-Bike now.

Naked as a J-Bird except for her little cap. Naughty. And her, and her high heels.

She's even shorter than this, brothers and sisters. So here we go. Okay. Now who's turning on the bike?

Who's actually turning on the bike. That would be biz Krampus. Wow. And okay.

Here we go. This blonde hair. She looks very alpine. Hold on.

This is alpine fantasy right here. Krampus. I have it. All right.

And the bonobo away. And here she goes. Riding the bike. Riding the Mad X-Bike.

Oh, yes. She goes. I'm going straight deep into bonoboville right now. Open it up there.

Reven it up. Oh, yes. Uh-oh. The handlebars are coming.

Don't let the handlebars go. That's it. Here you go. I'm with Dick.

I said handsome Hollywood Dick. It's handsome Hollywood. It's a pretty good one. H-H-D.

How can you focus? Except you should take your shirt off for this. Just relax. Going the bonobo zone.

There is so much stimuli right now. Going the bonobo zone. You're a naughty girl. You're a totally naughty girl.

Thank you, Dayton Reigns. Whoa. Yes. Oh, yes.

You're a naughty girl. Oh, yes. Oh, God, yeah. You notice this isn't an electric bike.

Yes. It's eco-friendly. Oh, yeah. No fossil fuel.

Oh, debt. De la croix. Oh, God. Such a naughty girl.

And all they made you do when you were naughty is work. We're making you ride the bike to hell. Yes, little crampus victim. It's going to work.

Oh, it's going to work. It's going to work. Oh, yeah. Grind down on it.

We're going to make you come at the gates of hell, little crampus girl. Oh, yes. Happy crampus.

Seasons beatings. Woo-hoo. Yes, indeed. Oh, debt in bonobo.

Bill, yes. Yes. I don't know where I am right now. Somewhere good.

Somewhere good. I think she's in crampus space. Oh, my gosh. I'm getting pretty close.

Pretty close. I think she needs someone to squeeze those nipples. Yes. Ooh.

Dayton, get on that. Those big eraser nipples on the little lady. Oh, beautiful. Do it for Ticonderoga.

Yes. Yes. Endorsement. Here you go.

Oh, my God. She might be coming in a minute. Oh, yeah. She might be coming in a minute.

Oh, my God. Yeah. She's going to come. She's going to come.

Oh, my God. Yeah, baby. Yeah. Yeah.

Let's go. Yay. Oh, Odette. Woo-hoo.

Yeah. How about that? Merry Christmas. Let's have a merry crampus.

Yeah. Three cheers for Odette. Beautiful. That was so cute.

And the crampus elves. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Hallelujah. And we need a little...

Oh. I think you need to bend over here and show your butt. Can we move this, please?

Yes. It's a little rosy right now. Rosy. It's a little rosy cheeks.

Seasons beatings, brothers. You are there. We're good. Well, you are naughty.

Still. I'm still naughty. I don't think I've learned my lesson, but now I have a whole another year

until I have to learn it again. Yeah. The refresher course. That's the fun, the refresher course.

Yeah. So do you like being naughty? I mean, you were brought up to be nice. I think that's one of the reasons

why I revel in being naughty so much is because I was such a good girl all the way through... Thank you.

I'm just taking a little... Shedding some more. Yeah, I don't want to... Go ahead.

You were a good girl. All the way through school, through Maine. I moved to LA, and it wasn't until I discovered

really the kink scene here that I realized I had been missing out on a large chunk of what I really needed to express myself.

And now that I've found it, and in so many places and in so many people, being naughty was the nicest thing

to have happened to me in a long time. You know, a lot of women find the porn industry kind of difficult to, you know, kind of keep their boundaries,

respect themselves. I mean, I would say it's probably easier than some industries, like maybe working for McDonald's.

But still, it's... I mean, there's some tough times that women have to go through, but you seem to be

just very in charge of yourself, this tiny little kind of... I don't know, just powerhouse. What's your secret?

My secret is to know when to say no. I think in this business, people see, because there's less work now, every paycheck as an obligation to take.

And I see it more as just another opportunity that you can pass up because there will always be another one.

And I think that's an important thing to remember. There will always be jobs. There will always be people consuming adult content.

You can be selective about the jobs you take, and everybody has their favorite people to work with,

and that's really all I work with is the people I love and trust and can confide in and call my friends. And then it never really feels like I actually work.

So you're kind of your own manager, or do you have a manager? I am completely my own manager. And you're smart enough to do it.

I mean, a lot of girls need a manager, can't afford a manager, and then wind up doing work that they shouldn't be doing,

that it's not cut out for them and working with people that are not in tune with them. And you kind of suss that out.

I see it as a very personal experience on set. And if I don't feel a connection with the team or the talent, then it's, you know,

there will always be another job. And then in the meantime, it's just being crafty about how else you can make money

and still keep the enthusiasm. And you've kept the enthusiasm. I do. I love my job. And I know so many amazing people

who also love it. But I think the one thing we have in common is we are selective. And we see it.

Because porn is a huge, huge industry. More than an industry, it's a phenomenon. And there's so many aspects to it. And yeah, if you take every little job,

then you're going to take wrong jobs that aren't really for you. Test. Test.

Yes, you are there, Max. Sorry, I'm just testing my testings. Okay, did you want to say, did your testings want to testify?

No, no, no. Actually, I want to ask a question. Yeah, go ahead. Oh, yes.

What's a nice girl like you from Maine? By the way, I don't agree. I think it's much worse to work at McDonald's for 30 years.

Well, I did say that was worse. Yeah. But, you know, sometimes porn can be confusing for some girls.

Maybe I missed it. How did you actually get into the business? Well, I was actually an art replicator when I was in Maine.

So I did a copy of famous artwork I painted. Wow. Wow, do you still paint?

Yes. Ooh, we would love to hang one of your paintings, anyone you would select

in our art gallery. I would love to donate one. Yes. Great.

I mean, you know, we have some porn star art in there. And yeah, we totally would love to. One more is always a good idea.

But when I moved to California, I was living the first year in a dorm. And there was no way I could paint. So that job was pretty much over.

The company actually said, well, if you can't produce something, because I was working for a company that would sell it internationally to people.

And they said, if you can't produce something in a couple of months, you're out. So I went to my college's art department

and they said, well, the only thing, the only job we really need right now that will give you access to a studio is being a life model.

I had no clue what that was. So I said, yeah, I'll take it. A life model. Yeah.

I was like, I'll take anything. I'll clean paint brushes. We know what that is. Yes.

And so I showed up. That's a euphemism for what you're doing right now. Nude art modeling. Nude model.

And so I showed up and they were like, okay, here's your robe. You know, you have 20 minutes before you need to go into the session.

And I was like, my robe. And they're like, yeah, because to cover up when you walk over, I'm like, oh, okay.

And I found out right. Oh, yes. Pretty much. Did you feel scared or did you feel excited or both?

I so desperately wanted to keep that artist's job and I needed the studio space. So I said, you know what? This is for art.

I'm going to do it. But you're so selective. I have to think you wanted to do it in a way. I wanted the thrill.

I was like, I'm in LA. This is like LA initiation. Take one. Okay.

Here's your robe. Here's your robe. Yes. Take it off.

From there, I actually learned that I loved it and started booking work as a nude model. And then it kind of progressed from there over the years. And here you are.

And you are fabulous. Absolutely. And what do you want to be when you grow up? Myself.

Yeah. I mean, you're constantly evolving. So I heard you at the bar, you were making wine? Yes.

I actually bought a house this year in the Temecula wine country. And I got very involved in their wine community. You bought a house? Yes, I did.

Wait, we have to stop there for a second. With your earnings from your work? From Petite versus Plump, bought the house. Petite versus Plump, you got girls.

It bought me a house. It bought me my dream home. That's amazing. That's so awesome.

Mary Krampus. Yes. Mary Krampus. All right.

Except you'll be kind of far from us. You're going to live there? I actually have kept my place in Los Angeles as well. So I spend weekends there.

And I stay here in town where the action is. You have anything in Rome or Paris? It's just the first house. All right.

Awesome. Well, Temecula is fun. We like to get out there. And you say you grow grapes in your...

The house is in Vineyards. But I volunteered quite a bit this year at the local wineries there. And I did everything from picking to crushing and just donated about 30 hours of my time. Oh, I can just imagine you naked stomping on grapes.

I would love... I have like a sort of a wine making fetish now. Yeah. Well, I had a whole foot fetish film in which they're stomping on grapes.

I would love... Sexy. We've got to bring some grapes next time. Some skin wine.

Stomp on them for us. Okay. Nice. Nice.

And how about your... I don't know, spirituality? I mean, you grew up Catholic. Here you are.

You took Bonoboville Communion. Do you still believe in God the same way, in a different way? Honestly, I am not someone who believes in God. And I kind of felt that at a young age.

But I liked the rituals of the Catholic traditions. She's a girl after my pagan heart. So I never felt really connected to it the way I think my parents did. Or one of my sisters did.

But I liked the whole traditional stuff and kind of playing along. I thought it was really heartwarming and brought the family together. So I can appreciate it. But I don't really pray or anything like that.

I do notice though that almost every time I have sex, I do say, oh my God, a bunch. So I actually do pray quite a lot. I don't know if that's a sign of religion. It's something from deep down.

Now we have a pan fan. Did you want to say something about pan? No. But we have pan fans in the womb room tonight.

Oh, wow. Yeah. Yay pan. There he is again.

Yes. A little demon. And by the way, you know the Latin name for bonobos is pan paniscus. They are the creatures of pan.

Because yeah, they like to have sex and they're mischievous and fun. And they might rife rough house a bit, but they don't kill each other. You know, like pan. So I think we're winding it up, Captain Max.

All right. Do you have some comments on these holidays, which are erupting? You know, Krampus is much worse than ever. Yeah.

Well, Mr. Bush went and poked the beehive. Meaning invaded Iraq. Invaded two countries that were totally stable. He went to save humanity and we've killed more people than Saddam and Gaddafi together.

And I think that it's time we find a new way to live in a new way. We can't teach our children that when we don't agree, we fucking shoot you or bomb you. That's what we've been teaching our children in an eternal perma war. Yes.

That's not even about the oil. Because anybody will sell us oil. We could get the oil. And it's limited, of course.

It's not going to last forever. They sell it if you've got the money. It's about a military industrial complex that Dwight D. Eisenhower told us about. Yes, indeed.

And he said, this is our enemy. This is the enemy of the future. And that's what we have today. Our armies are no longer on the ground.

We send a few people. Our armies are in Arizona with drones. And San Bernardino is where the action is. And the terrorists are here.

And we don't know where they are. But it could be three generations from now. A boy, a young girl hears a story about what happened and radicalizes them. So it's time that we change the way we deal not only with ourselves,

but the world, our communities. One of the things about this place here is that it is a community. It's got nothing to do with money except trying to pay the rent. But it has to do with revolution to try and reach out to people,

try to change the way we see the world. And sex is the common denominator among terrorists, the wealthy, the poor. And so it's like Montessori. We teach with a little bit of sugar to make the medicine go down.

And sugar right here. Odette is such sugar, I bet. We're different kind of educators. Absolutely.

But the message is peace. The message is peace through pleasure. And yeah, you can get a lot of pleasure from watching Odette and having sex and all kinds of sexual possibilities.

But pleasure also means sharing resources. That's what bonobos do. And we need to share the resources that we have left because hey, look, Mother Nature is going to be fine.

Right. It's just humanity. It's us that's going to get fucked up. And probably all the other mammals.

The big mammals will, the cockroaches will survive. But yeah, we have to see if we can survive. You know, and maybe that means putting some horns on and taking some guns away.

It certainly means shooting the gun between your legs instead of those other guns. And speaking of which, there's a guy named Avid Master, or masturbation superstar.

Yes. Yeah. He's a masturbation superstar. He's a big fan of yours.

And he would like you to tell him to masturbate. Talk 30 to him. Oh, well, he better already have his cock out because if it's not out by now,

I don't know what he's been missing the whole time. Is he on the line? He's actually in Bonoboville. I don't know if he's on the line,

but he's been in Bonoboville. He's in Bonoboville. Yes. Oh, I see him.

Yes, I see him. Is his cock out? No, it's not. It's not out.

He says, I hope she talks dirty to me on the air. Is that what he said? Oh, well, then let us fill the air of dirty for the superstar.

But hey, as a superstar, do you know how to use a fucking phone? You got a call. Yeah.

And then we can talk to you on the phone. Yeah, well. Well, for now, he's just going to have to listen and watch. I think Dayton wants a chance at talking dirty.

Yes. He can call us any time. Oh. She's telling him to call us.

He actually used to. Honestly, no, I got to say, he used to call, but lately he's, I guess he's had some tough times or whatever.

He used to call. I don't know. But yeah, he likes to now call the show and try to make it happen. We should call us.

We care. Which is okay. You know, if you are broke, you can always call the show. If you have, you know, a couple of dimes,

then give us a call at the institute and we can help you out. And a portion of those dimes goes to help save the Wild Bonobos, Lollia Bonobos and Bonobo Conservation Initiative. And it's also for the future of the world.

Peace through pleasure. Peace through pleasure. Absolutely. You know, and that's what we're about.

Yeah. And we also like shrimps and champagne. Got to pay for that champagne. You betcha.

Okay. So masturbation superstar. So tell them what to do assuming he has this cock out. Well, I want you to get right to business.

You had to use both hands and make sure they're all nice. Why don't you use like bomb illusions, like explode? Oh yes. But first you just stroke it faster.

Faster. Faster. And your cock is one of those grenades. And I just pulled that thing out of it.

It's going to get ready to detonate. Oh yeah. So you better go really fast because. We're going to cook some bacon now.

The clock is ticking. And when I count down from 20, if you're not spewing your own little grenade explosion by one. We're going to getcha.

Then it might, you know, then who knows what will happen. Then something else is going to explode. We're going to take you straight to hell. 20.

Stroke faster and faster. Like that masturbation superstar that you are. Go, go. 19, 18, 17, both hands, 16, 15, 14.

Oh, the caller's on the line. He's on the line. All right. Whoa now.

Get him on the line. Yes, let's hear it. Let's see. Hello masturbation superstar.

Where is my superstar? Here is Odette Delacroix. Here you are. Are you there?

Yeah. Speak up. Turn up the caller. Masturbation superstar.

You get a free call. Here you are. Oh yes. You're hard at work.

Good because I already started that countdown. That's right. And we're actually going into overtime tonight. So the pressure is on.

We're in overtime. We want to hear you come. I have 15 whole seconds. We want to hear the bomb explosion.

And now it's 14, 13. Imagine my tiny little hands gripping that cock so hard going so fast. You can barely see it. 12, 11, 10, 9 faster.

8, 7, 6, 5, 4. And he said Odette. Oh Max. Say my name too.

Yes it again. Come for me. Come for me like a superstar. Come on.

I want to see all those white strings of com going everywhere. Oh yeah. All right. Masturbation superstar.

He's become quite the entertainer. Did we get his credit card? No, no. He didn't give that anymore.

He just entertains us with his bomb. That's the kind of bombs we like brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners. He's still breathing heavy. That was quite sad.

I think he's been holding back since you were here last. I know how long has it been, Mr. Well, the horns are on. All right.

Thank you, Masturbation superstar. And Merry Krampus to you. Merry, Merry Krampus. Pinky Krampus indeed.

I think he's now been knocked out by Krampus and dragged down to hell with the naughty, naughty girls and boys. Okay, so I think that's it. I think we ended with an explosion of the good kind. And you know, it's a Merry Krampus indeed.

Yes it is. Thank you, Captain Max. Krampus. Thank you, Odette Delacroix.

Thank you. Oh wait, let me get the, where did my, I can't find my, no, no, no, I wanted the mistletoe. Okay, I can't find the mistletoe. Okay, here we go.

There's the mistletoe. There's the mistletoe. You are just adorable and wonderful and smart and naughty. That's the only way to be.

Yeah, okay. And we find you at Odette Delacroix on Twitter. You're not that active on Facebook, I noticed. No, but it's at O-D-E-T-T-E-D-E-L-A-C-R-O-I-X.

You have to join Bonoboville and share some of your clips and, you know, make money and get new friends and spread the Bonobo way. We'll talk to you about that. You can do a MILF scene with... Mwah.

I do have so many offers, darling. Ideas, ideas, ideas. Here for you, of course. Alright.

And Dayton Reigns is one of the fabulous therapists at the Dr. Susan Block Institute as well as a porn star. Yay, thank you. And Ecor, the wolf, is here representing the Green Cross, which is an important thing around the holly days. And let's see.

And where's Biz Bonobo? Watch your chair. Alright. And we want to thank our favorite alcohols.

Let's see. Here's Agua and Rhonda Jeremy. Rumb, rumb, rumb. Sexy biz. Yeah, absolutely.

Next time you'll have to have Rhonda on your throat. Yes. For sure. Okay, and let's see.

Next week we're actually going to celebrate Hanukkah and learn about the art of seduction from Ross Jeffries and have porn stars. And the fabulous Helene will be here as well. So we're excited about everything.

And then the week after that we're going to have a Christmas party. And then it's the Dr. Susie.TV Awards. You've won awards before, and now you're here. I think she's stacking the vote.

So, okay. So, brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners. These holly days, it seems like every year around this time there is more violence. But now there's like crazy violence.

So just please, please, please look at the Bonobo way. Try to make like Bonobos, not baboons. Make love, not war. Celebrate Krampus, do some spankings.

Play safe BDSM games if you need to get your violent energies out in a safe, consensual way. And yeah, make love, not war. Make love to someone you love tonight. Even if that someone is you, I love you.

Kinky Krampus! All right. Okay, we're going to do a group pic. You can talk to us.

I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the Airways. But my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences. Specializing in sex therapy over the phone. Anytime you need to talk, whether it's serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience,

or a combination, my world renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you, role play for you, fantasize with you. No fantasy is too taboo and help you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism,

fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. For more information, call us at 213-291-9497. That's 213-291-9497 anytime you need to talk. You're listening to Radios 101 on World Wide Web.