by Dr. Susan Block.<\/p>\n
Funny how the last Saturday of Masturbation Month always falls in the middle of Memorial Day Weekend. How can such strange bedfellows coexist? Manhandle those hot dogs, boys! Mash those potatoes, ladies!
\nMemorial Day signifies the start of summer, heating up with sexy fun and the sizzling smell of fresh barbeque. Of course, Memorial Day is also a requiem for the dead\u2014the people who have been barbequed in America\u2019s Perma-Wars. The American dead, that is. The other dead can get their own goddamn holiday, right? Memorial Day is for America\u2019s dead soldiers. We are the Masturbation Nation serving the multi-nation corporations. And so, on this solemn sunny weekend, we salute the troops who have given the ultimate gift\u2014their precious lives\u2014for this corporation we call our nation. We appreciate their service, that is, the risk they take in the lottery known as the U.S. Armed Forces; join up and spin the roulette wheel to see if you wind up with veterans\u2019 benefits or your head blown off!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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