XXXmas Eve Orgasm for Peace

Full transcript of XXXmas Eve Orgasm for Peace on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

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That's 213-291-9497 anytime you need to talk. You're listening to Radio Suzy One on the World Wide Web. And now, here she is, Dr. Susan Block. Brothers and sisters, lovers at centers, naughty and nicers.

Mmm. Hanukkah elves, triple X-mas. Reindeer. Mmm.

All you children is sex. And we are all children of sex. Yes, whether we celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah or Bodhi Day, we are all until we start cloning ourselves children of sex with a capital.

Can I hear an amen? Amen. Can I hear an amen? Amen.

Tonight is a family show. Mmm. It's Christmas Eve. If you're listening to us live on Radio Suzy One.

And the fifth night of Hanukkah. Oh, there. Mmm. Hagsameach.

Mmm. And, you know, most people are busy with their families tonight. Even the porn stars have families. And we have a family too.

A family of sorts. Well, I don't know. It's kind of a family of perversion. This is the speakeasy family.

And we are here to pervert your holiday in a nice way. And a naughty way too. We love holidays ever since the 99 cent store came around. Well, you know, you just find all this holiday stuff that you just have to get.

And then you have to celebrate, have some agwa shots, some sex. Yes. Holiday sex. Very important.

Actually, it is considered a mitzvah. Which means a good deed in the Jewish religion to have sex with your spouse. Of course, whatever your spouse may mean, you know, in the larger meaning of things. On holidays.

So this is a good thing, holiday sex. And of course, mmm, Christmas, triple X-mas. Well, that's all about a baby of sex with God. Or something like that is what she told Joseph and his family when she was all knocked up.

Aww. We never had sex. Well, Christmas, Hanukkah, just full of stories. And that's what this show is tonight.

It's holiday storytelling time, holiday sex storytelling time with the cast and characters that bring you the Dr. Susan Block show every Saturday night. And we're here celebrating. Starting with Captain Max.

Hello, Doc. Hello. How you doing? Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Hanukkah. Yeah.

Good night. And happy, I think Bodhi Day is sometime around now. Yeah. Bodhi Day, Kwanzaa.

And what Kinky Kwanzaa and Winter Solstice, of course. And I think it's like national or international orgasms for peace day or something like that. Yeah. Sounds good.

Yeah. So, here we are. With the family. Just a family.

So, we have our manager. Hello. I'm not sure what to call you tonight, which, why don't you introduce yourself? Just Helen.

Helen, okay. Just Helen. Helen, Helen. You have another name, of course, which is interesting too.

Are you talking about my therapy name or my Chinese name? Well, actually, you have many names, don't you? I do. And many characters that you play.

Yes. But primarily you are our manager right now. You manage the family. As of this moment?

Right. Although, I don't know if we should call ourselves a family because that sounds a little like a cult. Well, it sounds less culty than community.

I think of you guys as my family. Me too. All right. And I love you all.

You know, I love some of you. There's a lot in a word. You didn't love me when I was feeding you up there. Okay, we should make introductions and then we're going to light the candles.

We have all these rituals and then we're going to play with the dildos. The danger. But plus. The nativity scene of divine interventions, dildos.

Bus. Six, six, six of me, sex mist. We have Helen and we have Johnny Lynch, who's actually a porn star. I said all the porn stars were busy tonight, but that's not quite true.

I'm busy doing this. Okay. Yeah, that's what I'm busy doing. And you're tweeting tonight?

Tweeting. On Radio Sizi One. Everyone follow us on Twitter. No, she's watching porn.

Because tonight no one's listening, so it's a good night for you to try it out. Get all the information. So happy Christmas, Mary Hanukkah. Yup.

And we have Bear. That's not part of the family. Bear. Now technically I'm going by Johnny Napalm.

Johnny Napalm. It works. Okay. This is Christmas.

We're going by real names. Okay, then Bear works. This is Christmas. We're going by real names.

Yeah. Is that how it goes? We're really going to let people get to know us. I see.

So this is Teja, by the way. Teja Souter. Yes. Whose mother lives where?

I mean, where should we get down? Astoria Organ. Okay. And sister, should we get down?

My sister is in Frisco and she's perfect in every way and I love her. Wow. Aw. Oh, my little brother's 10 years younger than me and he rules.

I get like at least 30% of my jokes from him. Okay. We're all in headdresses of some sort tonight to celebrate Christmas and you are a reindeer. Candy cane reindeer.

Very good. And now we have an elf. This is, of course, LaRotique, who's shooting our photos. Hello.

He's our family photographer this evening. You look like they do this. And has shot many of our wonderful photos. You should be embarrassed.

What a bitch. No, that's who's back there. Todd. Todd is back there.

He's not part of the family. Yeah, he is. We're wearing a Santa. That's why he's wearing a purple Santa hat.

Hey, what's up? He's sort of in the extended family. It's a tinkerbell. Yeah.

And Justine is there taking notes. We have many scribes in the family here. Justine doesn't want to be here. Already?

She wants to be here. This is so family-like. Isn't that what you say in a family gathering about your siblings to get them in trouble? I do.

And I Photoshopped my sister's head onto Jose's body and she got pissed about it when she didn't come to Christmas last year. Oh, wow. Well, we're very grateful that Justine is here with both flowers and a Santa hat on her

head. And a ruffly socks. And ruffly socks. Look at those.

Very sexy socks. These are little orphan Annie socks. Oh, wow. We have to see those with the hula hoop.

My mom likes those. Okay. And Nori is somewhere. I saw.

He's got a Santa hat. He's running around. He's running around. He's doing everything.

Just ignoring you. So who's got a light? Such a bitch. I need a light.

Oh, here. Yes. Right. Okay.

So now some people know the prayer, Johnny. Fuck. You're another one of those. You're not supposed to tell anybody that I'm a Jew.

Jewish porn stars. Very popular. You know, Nina Hartley, Ron Jeremy. All right.

Joanna Angel. It's a fine heritage, be a Jewish porn star. I'm in denial. I don't think they're really Jewish.

They're porn stars, right? What? It's like the Christian ones aren't really Christian. Yeah.

But they are. Exactly. No there? Well, okay.

We'll debate that after the candle's child. Should we explain what candle racing is and everything? No. I think we're doing this.

Do you, nobody else is a Jew. They don't know what this is about. Well, wait. This is traditional.

We want to get them lit though, because they take a while. We need a race and it needs to end during the show. Okay. So I think we should explain as we're lighting.

Well, after we light them, but first, you know, we're going to do the prayer. I have to go. Oh, right. That's right.

Right. She doesn't approve of prayer. So we allow, this is not a cult, and, okay, here she goes. She's going to leave because it's, you know, it offends her Nazi heritage.

Here is Jewish prayer. So we respect that. Yeah, she'd rather not see it. Right.

I understand. I understand. You know, burning bodies is one thing, but burning candles is very offensive. Yeah, absolutely.

How about burning crosses on a lawn? You know, that's also, I don't know. Anyway, everybody, people can be offended by different things. And we respect all offenses.

We are equal opportunity. Here comes Ivy. Ivy, come on in. Hey.

Hey. Look at her tits. Holy shit. Oh, wow.

She's got a great look at this. I need to go to sleep. I know what I'm doing. Jesus, tonight.

I have to go to sleep with those. Yeah, this is nice red and black corset. Hi, Ivy. Hi.

This is Miss Ivy Thornton with her red flower and her tits. I can't wait to touch them with my mouth. Right. Well, you know, there's the whole agua shot thing.

It's going to happen. But first, the candles. So sing along. And there's an amen and an amen moment.

I'll try. Okay. Here we go. So.

You know, Days. And Christmas Eve. We're going to do another prayer and also because I haven't finished

the candles here and they're taking a while. what the fuck I know huh this is how you know are you watching yeah yeah he's watching okay Baruch Hahtadunai Eloheinu melech olam sheikh gianu

v'ki imanu v'hi gianu lazman hazeh um main uh women so we only believe in women here apparently I love this Santa outfit and uh

I believe strongly actually handles okay so now we have the races we're off to the races and uh pick our candles this is a tradition in my family I thought it was a tradition in every

Hanukkah celebrating family but I found out that we were weird in more ways than one but uh but in this way we we uh you know everybody lights the the candles of course the menorah for Hanukkah but uh we would uh compete by placing bets of our Hanukkah gelt on um which candle would last the longest that's right it's not about who finishes first

in Hanukkah or sex it's about who lasts the longest so this one you know sometimes they all start out even these these they were lighting really weird huh you know because they're made in the factory and unevenly so now and they've been making them the same way since I was a kid so now everybody is going to get some gelt here we're going to give you uh let's see well Helen

of course all this bitch she was the winner of uh of let's see so you start out with two and you would get two more and two more she was the winner twice twice in a row twice in a row i'm the reigning champion she is the reigning champion uh and everyone gets a bar of gold as well here and because it's christmas you get a green thing and a red thing uh you're so generous well

I mean I'm gonna put the bowl in the center anyway uh so let's see so there are lots of candy here okay and uh here we go and okay so take two coins and a green thing well you know until it moves around yeah and it's a christmas thing and then a christmas thing here okay and then justine you have to take your two coins okay can I trade candy with people I was going to say it is anyone

but the idea is to win okay you're also gonna you're part of the family here even though you're just the photographer okay so everybody gets another coin okay here we go did you get coins you get three coins okay how many did you get here get another coin there uh yeah money money money it's all about the money they always say that about did you get your three are you ready here okay have you

examined them yeah I mean here's the point is you're supposed to put them in the center you you bet your uh your gelt on the on the candles as you choose your candles so since you're the reigning champion and you chose the winning candle twice in a row the last two nights uh you get to choose the first candle I'll take the orange one in the middle

listen to the emotion already in the room everybody just have to deal with it the orange one yes whatever we can get on the same one no no we're now teams johnny has has been close oh so close twice because he's been really close and I can hear the bitterness in her voice I'm just angry now does one of you did you have candle races when you were growing up no we never we didn't even

have an or we had like a half broken an electric menorah we would forget to turn the bold uh poor child whatever we had christmas though so that was dope um okay I have to usually I'm on team death squeal but nori is abandoning me once again so I'm gonna pick the the blue the the blue candle I'm just gonna say it the blue one the blue one yes well it certainly is blue okay uh

and uh it's a it's a good choice it's on the end and air currents you know it's not being infected by the the candles on either side okay so now bear yes no talking during the show when you're on the show unless you're talking on the microphone you have to share with us what were you two giggling about putting things in my mouth putting things in your mouth it's a it's a really

good that's when the christmas presents come out okay okay you want to bet on it on a candle I'm gonna put everything on this blue one on the end okay right on the blue one we're not on the same team motherfucker whoa I'm allowed to bet all right uh what does how does this work well you know I don't know if there's actually uh how many candles how many people mathematically

maybe some people could double up so we have to split the earnings with the winnings yeah you would have to split the earnings so you could claim your candle you but you didn't so I did what I did claim now let's not you know this is like a family night right away hey hi lisa here you're gonna get some coins to take a candle that's not Sabrina hat all right I picked the white candle I'm the

youngest one so I get to be a brat let me get you you can do whatever just don't wait a fucking candle thought she said put mine on the uh the white one okay here it's a family event fuck off here you go oh and you you get a camera too somewhere or maybe okay so you've chosen the white is that right that's correct always pure ivy um I'll go with the uh did somebody pick the orange one already yes

the asian oh that's kind of typical there's actually more than one asian here I'll take the pink one okay I like pink things pink is a good choice it's on the end that's true it was lit for all right there are teak I think I'm on Helen's team I'm gonna vote on orange I don't want to split my winnings what a dick why aren't you on my team I want all the earnings I try to do that that didn't work

you what you didn't want him yeah but I want all the earnings not half the earnings okay all right uh who's what candles are left now yellow yellow red red okay who wants red and who wants yellow I'm gonna just ask the nori pick nori I'll go with uh the yellow candle nori's yellow okay red who wants red I guess justine justine poor justine she doesn't care she was ratted on by her

sister and now she has to get the the runt candle it might end up winning though that's the funny thing about Hanukkah okay so uh so now you can double up on candles okay did you want to double up on a candle you you want to you want to choose the orange you're going with the uh you're going to double up on me but she doesn't want you to oh you can't do it unless the person allows you to

but she said you just won't you know what you know what I I feel charitable so okay why not I'm gonna get in the family spirit no one can double up with me okay okay that's incest and uh and and Teja did you did you I mean are you boycotting the candle she's a nazi I well I'm just asking if she wanted to bet her bet you could get coins these are not these are not Jewish coins actually these are

American American quarters I already broke this you already broke your thing we're gonna get into that later do you want to do you want to vote on a candle no candles no she doesn't believe in candles okay no I don't believe in gambling all right yeah gambling Lisa what candle blue holla with a ch okay so you you're willing to share Lisa's my girl she can have it I see how

it goes I just want to piss you off so you hit me harder I see this is a work for you this family brothers and sisters you'll you'll get the double yay oh no one likes the double everyone is arguing so so sweetly so uh so yeah so we're celebrating Christmas Eve and uh and it's uh it's also the fifth night of Hanukkah here did you vote on a candle did you want to double up on a candle

you want to bet oh I okay here you go I don't need money hey put your put your you have to bet with some salami down there I don't want to bet on anything and you have all those winnings you have to put some in the middle you know what I'll bet the shitty ass Reese's cup I'll bet these guys here wait did you don't take my two no this is a quarter you know what I

want no somebody eat your quarter all right I put in two quarters and all right this is a good-looking menorah with money all around it you see this is what gets the Jews in trouble right but we at least have some Christmas stuff we should have what speaking of Jews I want to say hola to Shlomo and Daniel I love you hola Shlomo and Daniel who's that her little brother said what's a Shlomo yeah

sounds like when slow motion in Jewish okay I think we'll put a couple more Christmas-y things here uh so reindeer wait I don't think it's Agwa shot's time yet she's preparing because she knows it's Christmas Eve it's it's always no we have to we have to discuss the manger we have a nativity

scene here brothers and sisters look at this I would like everyone to sit in awe of our our lovely Christmas nativity scene with divine interventions dildos as well as a bonobo well he's kind of a common ship he's got big ears but he is yeah yeah you have to wind him up though it does the candles are right in the middle of can't see that the uh well I'm major

we'll have to move the manger okay because the candles it's kind of tough to if you move the candles it counts as cheating because you're giving fire more oxygen well right in the middle of no the candles are still in the way well

yeah go to the okay here we go here we go okay there is our manger that's really offensive this is offensive you there's a Buddha there's a no that's very there's a first of all in the center of everything we should say yes is the baby jesus butt plug yeah i think you need a mic you want to get the microphone if you're going to make reindeer sounds okay here we go bones ringing

dug that you're that's uh the pope what's the bitch's name okay jesus actually the pink woman thank you ladies bitch this is this is this is mary this is mary this is the in fact she's sort of she should be next to jesus i think what is going on in the trunk yeah what is uh what is such big balls there that's her ass oh this is this is it it doubles you know it's it's balls when it

plays a cock and balls you see and then when it's mary she's got one of those big you know kind of black girl booties yeah yeah right junk in the trunk after all she said you know a big proud african woman but she's pink here so she's going to sit next to jesus because actually this is death yeah that's sure so that's a little scary but death is always with us and and was always with jesus right uh so

there he is ready to take jesus at the age of 33 although i guess he comes back but that's another holiday this is a zombie jesus holiday okay so this is a lovely uh specular from antiseptic fashions antiseptic fashions and marlo marquise is so beautiful by um uh a stock room a doctor yeah doctor stock room and uh and i don't know what this is really doing here actually i oh it was on

mary's head i think i really you know it doesn't mean there's certain things just don't go that was like two weeks ago right okay so now this is paul mccartney who's still alive he is yeah he's got a big head he does he's losing a little hair up here a little chemo why is why is paul mccartney in there because he's like this well no i mean why is he in the manger because uh don't you remember

john lennon said that they were more the beetles were more popular than jesus and walruses and so uh so paul is there to bear witness and speaking of bears oh he's okay oh there you go we have a bear bear oh i was there i was there right i was there because you got a little weenie like that oh yeah a little tiny one a little tiny one that's uh that that spits cotton it does it does he has

a glow stick in the back if you look it's like a reef actually this was given to me by a client who shall remain anonymous to protect his perversion a robert mcqueen is on from kandace robert mcqueen i suppose he's alone it would be charitable talk to him and we must be charitable i thought it was dug mm okay thank you okay you're definitely doing the reindeer walk there

and and this is batista okay robert is on robert hi how you're doing doctor i'm doing very well robert merry christmas eve to you i'm merry christmas eve to you and have i have a question hanukkah i have a question for you wait a minute this is an appropriate question for christmas eve or is this something this is a family show tonight remember that robert might be a perverted family

nevertheless oh you mean i can't ask you about uh you being a picture of playboy me being a picture for playboy do you want a softball team a lesbian wow maybe i should sign up when you ever do a nude photo shoot for playboy photo shoot for playboy well i'd have to ask my manager if that's in my contract because playboy

playboy uh and if you agree with it was uh was you going to post nude or seminars robert why aren't you with your family tonight because i don't have no do you have a sister robert where's your sister my sister is in kansas babysitting a lady that that uh broker hip doing what babysitting a lady that broke her hip oh okay i see and my parents are dead i only have a girlfriend nice you don't have

a girlfriend no oh i'll be your girlfriend johnny will be a girlfriend tonight for a few minutes she's a point star it's all it'll take you a few minutes exactly how you're doing tonight i'm seeing you forgot all about me and played wow you already forgot oh i thought you were all right yeah so you're going to be his girlfriend doctor did you uh i thought you were

going to do girlfriend talk with johnny now oh you already dumped me wow that was quick how long have you been a porn star i just did my first porn um it came out about a month ago you can she's a virgin porn yeah i'm a little baby porn star oh starlet he's probably a better word all right see yeah you should watch it jerk off to it please i have a question for you robert

this max would you send me for christmas i don't send you nothing we didn't send me anything no i don't send you nothing is that any way to treat your father well you didn't send me anything either i will cut this guy no i don't know your address doctor oh 8306 wilshire boulevard beverly hills uh 902 1 1 sweet 10 47 and i didn't get anything

either and i always write down his calls okay you should send a bunch of stuff yeah you gotta send a bunch of stuff because you know we take care of you we put up with you you know we're trying to help you right what do you guys want from robert robert i'd like a Cadillac please actually that's great then that can carry everything else oh yeah yeah if you send a

Cadillac we can all get in it's fine Cadillac limo robert yeah stretch please please definitely limo black with silver trim don't you feel like you're with your family now robert yes i feel a family yeah i feel like the family now okay good all right well robert you have a very nice christmas did santa come to your house yet no no no well what time is it i didn't come to the house yet

one of these christmas is i never heard the answer from dr block yet one of these christmas is santa just might bring you a copy of playboy with dr susie in it and myself i saw you in that issue actually how about that it was you know it keeps me up and by the way bring johnny in there too because i like to see your neck too all right all right we're gonna have a

family picture in playboy with santa hats yeah we're gonna do it i think they're gonna go for it you never know regardless yeah well they they keep courting us about various things so maybe that'll be it all right darlin we gotta get back to ourselves you have a nice holiday say hi to your sister for us you have a merry ex miss you know how are you gonna send that car are you gonna have a driver bring it

over you know i'll come out there and i'll go pick it up you'll go pick it up i don't know if you should do that that could be a wild goose taste this can's what would you say robert i said i don't bring me one i got i i can give you the address i mean do you have to bring it can you have to send somebody else i'm just teasing you okay robert we can't wait to see you you have a really

nice nice christmas do you have a chimney uh no i live in an apartment oh well that's why santa didn't come no he'll he'll come out of an apartment like talk yeah he doesn't go to apartments he only goes to the one percent what are you gonna do tomorrow robert what are you gonna do tomorrow well i'll think about you and johnny and and and a playboy nude and uh i'm bringing you guys

bringing me the playboy yes you promise you're not gonna dream about me fucking you just the playboy that's easy hey robert robert i hope that your your heat is out in your house so that you can use up all the coal you're going to get tonight but you didn't get that's her boyfriend we're so naughty and nice tonight with poor robert

see that's what you get robert we're just playing with you robert we are part of the family we love robert yeah and since you're our only listener you know we're talking to you all right well you have a wonderful holiday all right what are we talking to you uh probably again on November on uh on new york's day was that right you're gonna be talking to me no i'm gonna be asleep

on new york's day recovering from our big new york's eve party party we're having oh so there's me no show on new york's eve right oh there is a show on new york's eve yeah we're gonna have a big party big party i don't know if we'll be able to hear you it's gonna be too loud it's going to be too loud don't call no no no no no not on new york's eve there was all the firecrackers

going off and stuff and the sparklers and girls screaming girls screaming yeah you know we'll hang into the poles champagne popping yeah it's going to be noisy too noisy too noisy tonight's a quiet night okay all right you take care of yourself robert and have a happy new year and we'll talk to you very soon and uh and we'll see you in your dreams we'll see you all right

you take care robert thank you for calling no problem and don't forget what you promised dr black we're gonna see robert don't you worry and don't you forget about the catlack yeah the catlack is trying to hold it remember i hope you remember it's black tinted windows with silver trim on there yeah that's robert so where were we now robert has been calling for years

we haven't gotten the given out the phone number which is one eight six six two eight nine seven oh six say it slowly and if you're home alone on christmas eve that's one eight six six two eight nine seven oh six eight and what is my skype number i don't have a number nobody knows i should write it down for me and yes it's agua time yeah all right see we're talking about

holidays we got green days and i think we all have to get ready for the emotion of the candles talking about also i think there's going to be christmas presents but i think we should have some agua first so everyone is sure to enjoy their christmas presents which are coming to us from adultplayparlor.com there are santa this christmas eve oh thank you we can't hear you uh you have to

talk on the microphone when you squeal we love you in that way in that way okay here we go agua shots all around and uh this is imperative this is like the kool aid in our cult really yes because the final days are coming the final days are coming they're upon us we have to do a christmas we only have a few more days and then and then this is our prescription drug

okay so now uh are we familiar with the process now i know i have a bunch of prudes that work for me on the staff here hey nobody's looking nothing and i want to and that is uh you know max max you you took my christmas wish away so so i guess we have to allow for risks but where tits can happen today's i doctor susie i'd like to volunteer my tits for this operation uh let me this guy was born

defective dude i was born perverted this what it was yeah look his right tit it like doesn't it goes away he was stabbed wow oh oh burned born defective by jesus no no jesus jesus fucked me one day with this this is a scarf from him he's going to heaven is that the baby jesus butt plug let's just yes all right here we go this is the agua shot time and oh okay um what do you want i know i'm not going

to get her tits so whatever my back oh yeah your back is open give me that that's good oh there you go where's the salt where's the salt okay salt we now have porn star johnny lynch who moonlight for us occasionally uh and she is now going to lick the back of her manager this must this is like the um the feast of fools day which is another christmas tradition

where the the staff licks the back of the manager and the manager giggles like a baby right okay here we go okay and down the hatch very good all right and now the manager okay what do you want what do you want let's see the most kosher part of your body the most kosher i don't think there's any kosher

parts of her body it's not like she has a pretty tainted okay well whichever part of your body you like for my mouth to be on uh-oh if you should really open it up is this really a really good idea you should let her take a shot off this part right here well what's the last thing you took a shower everyone's all excited after my shift Helen gets us really excited let me just break it on down

this is a confession show because i wasn't done praising Helen when we started the show and they moved on to Sabrina i was like hell no that's wrong Helen figured out that they weren't supposed to go to court a month ago saved them saved them from a day in court okay and also has been the winner of the candle races for that doesn't matter what matters no candle racing is for real

she doesn't know Helen rigs it oh don't breathe on it us white people don't do that don't breathe on the candle are you done with the praising no i'm not because i'm just can she lick me okay here's the thing about Helen she wants her drink is that she's good well off me i don't know is that she seems so crude and so i'm so perfect and she's just like totally false advertising because she says some of

the dirtiest shit oh my god she like oh she gets me all riled up i want to do like a snail trail down her thigh but i'm not into asian so i'm not i'm not into nazis either i thought you guys were oh no no that was japanese that's where can y'all go home right but and then you play piano for me and she lets me sing my disney songs and my phantom of the opera and she lets me do my

beautiful ballet modern dances aren't they are you still talking i read i'm almost done because i'm really i'm really cute you all should see me at the piano dancing room okay and she's pretty good okay yeah shots sounds like a good idea i wanted to tell her you could dance a little later you're going to dance or actually that's a good thing well everyone has their shots why can't i

we should announce what they're doing well i'm going to tell the joke now remember the joke two peanuts we're walking okay Helen tell the joke what's the difference between a lady on a tight rope and a woman's spread eagle one's a cunning display of a stunt the other's a stunning display of a cunt thank you thank you that Helen thank you uh would i like to know i like to say to the other

tampon i'm over it okay so where are we licking butthole what what yes i heard butthole that's what i said no ifs ands are but what part what i meant you choose no articles i will lick your nose okay nose that's so weird will someone will someone do my feet please is there a foundation i'm wearing make-up yes i'll take the foundation as is okay there is salvation

salvation it's coming soon but you gotta lick some spots to get salvation okay here we go Helen is now this did she do it already first yeah she's supposed to lick the nose to lick the salt lick the salt okay licked it right off of her nose i'm getting a little turned off that was adorable oh it's all over the top of her nose jesus frosty the snowman it went up my nose it's definitely not

cocaine okay i'm glad that we established that because a lot of people have accused us so i think she messed a little yeah there's a there's a slot of salt all over the okay here's another good Helen joke all right so we were looking for Batista and she's like is he coming riding a horse because there was all these horses like a gate right i don't know what it was but

there's a bunch of mexicans on horses riding down alameda tons of them remember yeah and i was like a horse what do you mean a horse a horse like a horse she's like not like your mom's friends like a horse now speaking of Batista what's he doing in the activity he's brought the king a crown isn't that nice it's a little barrette yeah isn't that beautiful that's very very

Batista just got a hundred thousand twitter followers wow and he announced his universal contract for i know what it's called a scorpion king okay anyways he's doing one in the iron fist everyone see it and everyone love Batista and don't burp at him whoa there's some tits happening here wait a second hold on hold on let's get some

shots here i i can't believe we're we're talking about Batista okay no no let's let's shoot the tits doctor says i saw tits and i just no no this is good this is good yeah right right here we go ivy is now lending her boobs to the agua licking ritual of christmas eve oh yes a very good get a good lots of salt on lots of salt yeah more of the boom ivy likes tank girl

she has a tank girl cigarette and now bear is opening those lips wide and sucking up which salt which lips he's not a he doesn't really has one set okay that's a tasty shot that is yeah cockadoodle do yeah you can't leave any salt or else she'll get a rash he's very thorough he's really licking it up but your flowers fell out of your hair that's not

oh christmas it's the time you're supposed to look silly in some sort of where's your fucking best put that fucking best on an act all smug go look now he's got the flowers on his nipples for those of you that's actually better that's way better i don't have to look at those hard and nipples picture of this the uh you know birth defects there we go his mom drink agua now

this could start a fashion here yeah i could i think it just did and i'm gonna have the bows on my nipples later the big bows you have to give him credit for that hey you know what you got some style man we have the same hairdo so uh so let's see so i have to have my shot in the middle of the show because usually i don't okay max so max do you want a shot shot shot shot a shot a shot i haven't

had enough shots this year nobody no okay you want us to be lesbians should we be lesbians i don't have we ever done this by the way i want to apologize for our staff okay and for you know the host now i'm about to lose it right okay here we go family show dr sissy that's right it's a family show and you know at these family get-togethers doesn't

aunt susie always get schnockered i called my mom in a story and told her to listen i wonder if she is yeah i get to the children with her from the green pull the children away from the radio all right now where's where are we putting the salt on your nipples now put some butt plugs in the years that the children your nipples are all shown in everything just don't fuck them children can't

hear this yeah i don't know they can't leave them out there there you go now salt you little fucking pervert where's the salt that's a good one okay here we go this is the reindeer's nipples did you know reindeer's have very sensitive nipples watch this i must be a reindeer and they respond to salt i see a lot more than that nose getting red

should be on the animal channel this is not a real reindeer okay if you're listening it's not a real reindeer for those interested in bc outing i'm sorry okay now should i try to get you get your microphone it's fucked up what okay get your microphone up up pants down pants down there they are down they're pretty down i know this is my little outfit i got

from adult play parlor this is what they call one size fits all it does not fit us well the thing is the stockings pull it down but you know okay that's how it is i think i think that's the idea this is the whole bend over thing okay maybe maybe like this okay okay right now somebody is licking salt off of no i was just licking just licking just licking

lick the spot and then salt it preparing the spot salting the spot right get away from the radio kid it's a moving target nice okay okay well rudolf you are now commandeered for doing such a good job to lead the sleigh tonight i still need to take my shot oh well get the sleigh ready right rudolf

okay uh you're you're allowed to get that shot i think this is the first time i see one mistake oh my god i can't wait to see it this is great especially looking at it through the hanukkah candles i like it what is going on here just talking actually at the family dinner darlings clock sucking on christmas eve i really want to apologize i think we have to read about this

that's a chub that's uh yeah that's a family is that a half heart or is that just a limp that's i gotta know is he a show or a grower that was as big as a ghetto oh no it gets a lot bigger no that was that was christmas that was in deference to jesus right you know the not had their shot i think we just justine justine's been justine's drinking bloody mary's all night

and todd and todd and larotique okay you guys organize that what i mean uh i'm tweeting what's going on over here children are there's more shots happening i have yes i i haven't had my second no she's driving because she's going to get on driving the sleigh not to go catch a point remember she's going to filly um but it's worth your time having another shot we haven't had everybody

hasn't had their shots oh are you asking for body parts what's happening uh it's more fun when you drive drunk everybody else has to drink you know that right okay so justine who's who you don't do it off of voodoo girl why don't you put your shirt on you have to come here though i'm not moving uh you know can you take that off here she come that i can do oh why does it keep taking on

this off i don't you know i try to put it back on i don't get this i try to keep it on and it just doesn't work okay here's justine in her santa hat and her flower and she's taking uh johnny's arm the licked and the liquors actually the wrist and licking up up that wrist okay and now here we go okay now where's the shot she needs a shot where's the shot

tasia just till the rain deer where's the shot and we're i think santa's in the elevator shot lick it and then drink it lick it and stick it lick it drink it this is liquors liquors anonymous liquor okay liquors lick and liquor there's like a trail of slobber and salt okay so now we know justine is a slobber all right justine

all right should we make nori do a shot yes we uh nori of course team desk will do a shot nori should do a squat off of bears dick helen is the manager so i want to apologize for uh justine if she got your keyboard wet noria please do it off his dick a shot off your cock i'm not asking for that i'm not game for it i'll trade

you i'll trade you what is he trading no what are you trading cocks now they're gonna look at their dicks oh do it for god ah talk on the microphone tasia's throwing things i mean then who's not gonna want to do a shot off of what oh this is like sort of like you know helen did one off my how come i'm the only one that took a shot off a titties

okay so brina so i'm gonna do a shot off of uh your ball gag i have to take off like i can't just take it out well then keep keep this is a logistics nightmare so can you help me i will help you oh you're taking your tits i can't see this well it's your fault for wearing that why do you wear something that's not tiddly that way she does it from the bottom up bottom up i see okay so she's

lifting up her dress and now pulling her boob out of her bra there it is there's the boob and helen is looking very very carefully at this very carefully i don't want to do the other why'd you make such a big deal when i felt you up today at the desk i didn't know you were trying to i was like wait is wait do you want Christmas and not being a part-time bartender is pouring his own

august wait wait do you want a dual asian boob shot because my ball gag is broken oh my god sure okay let's do that let's do a dual asian boob shot okay wait wait come around here lure a teak this is a big deal hold it what's going on i don't think anyone i need a shot of something actually a shot of something okay where is the uh agua where's the agua agua please

agua there did you did you sit on the jesus butt plug right there all right oh you've got to find out again there right i think that half a shot was too much okay here we go we got johnny lynch aka fatty fatal all is providing her tits for her coworkers this is not required of the job by the way we're

yeah this is a real boob job right here all right okay here we go one two and one two three to the two asians this is the asian specific breast suck oh my god this is this is a christmas shot okay here all right that's santa's wife yeah all right have you converted to christianity now what's it like okay i'm who's the better titty sucker nori i'm sorry i would normally say helen

just to be like yay ladies but hey nori high five really really okay well he was like all upon it like for real for real well he's probably wasn't for real for real okay so now we have the gifts have come in okay the reindeer let's let's see the reindeer reindeer is bringing in a slave the people that stayed on christmas eve at the speakeasy and all the other people

don't get their gifts mother tony ma nor does nor do you don't get it and i hope they're cold and they don't get the bonus checks then they who said that somebody said there's an extra gift there's no thank you oh look at this that's very nice that's like a real gift look at this look at this look at that look at the ass on that candle you gotta see what i did is that a candle

mine's made from my heart it was a candle now it's a sex object look at that wow what isn't i'm gonna hollow that out it might get flesh light this is very pretty what do you guys want to do to my oh thank you you have candles some of us are getting pretty down to the bottom we don't have to let's stress about them we're well the update is that oh look at that

howling you can't in this economy look at the white one yeah i thought the pink one yeah look at the white one that's right whatever fuck this excessive and ridiculous what are you the pink one is also doing well may i say ivy's is doing well i think your main competitor is ivy do not breathe on the candles children i'm gonna enter soon okay okay okay just before we before we do that i want to remind

all catholics that midnight mass is in 30 minutes on the west coast right okay we'll end for mass okay here we come here comes the reindeer should we sing something rudolf the red nose reindeer had a very bloody nose this is a sexual song about the shiny nose oh the shiny nose he was sticking his nose in a pussy i thought he had a bloody nose i'm sorry

i'm sorry no it's not a bloody nose it's a shiny nose from from eating pussy that's my yeah feeling yeah anyway i love was it eating his mrs claus's pussy no rudolf rudolf was drunk what do we say off the red nose had a very shiny nose and if you ever know you might even say it goes

oh then one foggy christmas the reindeer loved him this is ridiculous i'm always shocked every day down on dr susie

because you'll go down on dr susie you know that's why she's the manager rudolf and santa santa claus had a drunk driver that's what he had with a red well she's been drinking some agua and you notice she came in santa is stuck in the elevator shaft fell out of the elephant fell off the slate so she was slaying under the influence okay slaying under the

where is your microphone rudolf you can't talk without a microphone and by the way i want to give us a little example wait the white candle died i want a present yeah she gets cain she gets paid and goes to hawaii to get her well i don't think we're gonna pay her enough to be able to really come in at the

last beat how can we get presents we're gonna get presents come in at the first person guys whoever has the white candle it's dying whatever your candle's dying get out my candle's dying for someone that thought it was who finished it you never know you never know don't don't really we got to hand out the presents take that i got a present i'm making

an announcement i made this i made this i thought i thought being i'm awesome it's why bother them just dance present are we having present envy here this is very pretty you got dreidel day dr susie what does that say juicy juicy juicy juzi dr susie juzi you haven't heard that one before you know yes oh look at that it opens pop up look at that you made that

yeah it's beautiful i went to preschool you must have an x in that day my savior look okay my savior dr susie's like and look she's got me with nice tits and evie and evie oh we have to free evie and you're crucified on a penis see and it's jizzing see that oh yes i am crucified on a penis this is very special can we zoom in on this

zoom in on this lyric and we have this guy is well i don't know what see i like how there's no hands by the way you're pretty you're pretty much but no hands wow it's always good this is this is a major major sale it is okay have a merry six six six sex miss my beautiful savior you are the most amazing being you have saved me from oppression and depression oppression and depressions how about

repression what about that reproductive help you buy this and then you made all my fondest dreams come true but he's done that he's done being in girls and corpses and i'm getting laid all and my new reindeer and getting to be me and everyone loves it okay i need to talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else you can talk to us i'm dr susan block your mistress of the

airwaves but my day job is director of the dr susan block institute for the erotic arts and sciences specializing in sex therapy over the phone anytime you need to talk whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away totally private absolutely confidential we listen talk with you advise you

role play for you fantasize with you no fantasy is too taboo and help you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism fears to desires fetishes to marriages for more information call us at 213 291 9497 that's 213 291 9497 anytime you need to talk you're listening to radio suzi one on the world wide web