Nina Hartley Interview with Dr Susan Block

Full transcript of Nina Hartley Interview with Dr Susan Block on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

Let's say hello to Nina Hartley. I love this, Nicholas. Thank you, you know one of my therapists gave that to me. That's lovely.

That hematite? It has these earrings too. Wow, lovely. Well hello Dr. Suzie, how are you?

I'm doing great. You know what? Because of the way your hat is, we should trade part. Nina, there we go.

It's so smart. She's the smartest porn star in the biz. You don't want me to watch me talk to a hat. You know your angles.

Right, right. It's true, it's true. And you look great. Thank you.

Good to see you. I saw you the other night at Howie Gordon's hindsight reading. Wasn't that awesome? It's an awesome book and he won Best Porn Star Memoir of 2013 on the Dr. Susan Block show.

Yay! The thing, the door stop of Man Is It Good. His stories, I've heard some of the stories before but it's nice to have it written down. And he has some wonderful stories about you.

Yeah. I mean, you guys, you know, he's like the most family guy man in porn. But you guys have your own kind of love story. We, you know what?

It started off, he was my first porno crush. We're talking about you. Yeah. She said, she confessed you're her first porno crush.

Right. But then that thing, you know, but you know, turned out that he was my first porno crush but he was married and he's very much in love with his wife. I love how slut he was.

I love sluts. I love sluts. Yay. Bye, Mr. Pacheco.

Tomorrow? Yay. So how are you enjoying the Hollywood show? Actually, I had a really fun time.

First, I'm seeing all my friends. All the people from the 80s. Mr. Pacheco, Jane. Not Jane Hamilton, Veronica Hart.

Chris Kit and Tivodod. Okay, Parker, me, Ginger Lynn, Amberlynn, Ronnie. Ronnie. Seika.

I mean, it's all the oldies. You've been so busy here. You haven't gone into the mainstream section. I heard there are mainstream people here.

There are quite a few and I'm sure a lot of them would like to meet you. Maybe you'll see some tomorrow. I doubt they're going to admit in public that they know who I am. That's not so, that's not.

You drink. Yeah, maybe. But what do you think? I mean, the Hollywood show has been around for 30 years

and now finally they're accepting that the porn industry is part of Hollywood. It's about time. I mean, they don't, you know, we used to, I know back in the 70s, we tried to join SAG

and I don't know whether they were judging us or we were judging them. I'm not quite sure how that would, but we didn't get to do it. So now there's legitimate cinema and illegitimate cinema. But it's all movies and it's all about

letting people escape for a couple of hours into a different world. And what we get, do we add, we add orgasms, yay. It's all about communicating feeling

and that's what you all do. Well, a good adult movie does communicate feelings and you know the bad ones just discommunicate behavior. There are no, you know, you've seen enough.

Well, they might communicate superficial feelings. They might communicate just an itch in your dick. One of my favorite books about sex I ever read was Ten Commandments of Pleasure.

How is that coming along? Oh, it's coming along great. And I've been selling copies of it here. Are they like 15 years old now?

It is, it is. It's been published in like 15 languages. Yay, it's set to go book or book. It's a wonderful book for any person having sex,

especially any person who hasn't yet had it. It'd be a great book for someone who has not yet started the dance. Can I give you a copy of the new edition? Please do.

I would like to hold this and you can be the host for a second. Oh, hi. Yes, so, yes, Dr. Susan, the one, the only Dr. Susan Block of the Dr. Susan Block Institute.

Yay. Who is an incredible asset and resource here in the greater LA area. I remember being a larger format book.

Well, it was. Okay, good, good. Okay, well, I'm not sure I wasn't forgetting, like, with I, what I really liked about Dr. Block

is that she was the first people to talk about a certain kind of hot monogamy and also talking about if you're going to open your relationship at all, you must know what your boundaries are.

And I liked how very clear she was with her boundaries with her partner whereas no fluid, meaning no kissing, but flirting and touching and dancing and flirting and touching and dancing.

That goes a long way. The flirting and touching and dancing goes a long way. You know, one of my favorite quotes about the book, and I use it all the time, is yours.

The best commandments to come along in the past 2,000 years. It just gives that biblical heft to it. It's great. It's like, for me, did you even want to take this back?

For me, it's... Yes, it is my job. No, it's just common sense. It's not like, you know, it's...

I'm glad you put it down there, but I'm sorry that it took 2,000 years for someone to write it down. You know, don't be a douche. Be nice.

Use your words. You know, if it feels good, do more of it. If it feels bad, do less of it. I mean, you shouldn't think you need to say that,

but you do. Well, you do, and your videos and your book also gives a lot of wonderful, helpful hints. And I've got a new book coming out soon,

The Bonobo Way. All about bonobos and... Yay. So for people out there who don't know,

if you're a Susan Block fan, you know about bonobos. But human primates and regular chimpanzees often use violence and the threat of violence to create social cohesion.

And bonobos and people like us, we use pleasure and the threat of pleasure to gain social cohesion much better way. Essentially, bonobos are swingers in every way.

And they're all poly... All poly by switches. It's awesome. They are.

They're awesome. And we need to save them from extinction. Well, you know, the part of the world where they live, of course, is having horrible conflict right now

and humans eat them. Yep, yep, yep, yep. There's a lot of tragedy there. But there's also a lot of good, good work being done

and cutting-edge work in the field of conservation in terms of involving people and helping to save the bonobos. And a lot of it is because the bonobos are so much like us, we just have to save them.

And I think ecotourism. So, wait, we can earn this money for 10 years and have no fourth, no bonobos, or we can earn this money forever

and have a fourth in bonobos. Absolutely. And I really would like to help the people of, you know, the porn world, the swingers' world

to understand that our behavior is, quote-unquote, natural. It is natural. And the bonobos help us understand that.

Well, you and I both understand that humans are, whoa, we're mammals, and we're designed to like to rub on things. You get naked mammals together.

Someone's gonna be humping someone's leg. It just happens. And I think a lot of people who make porn, as you are not,

they don't make a study of sexuality. They do porn for whatever reasons, but they don't understand human sexuality, physiology, anatomy, biology, anything like that.

And so they do think humans are separate, but we're an animal. We're a high-functioning primate, just like the Great Ape, like bonobos and chimps.

Gorillas, they're harem folk. And orangutans are solitary. So the only ones that live together in groups and have sex are chimps and bonobos.

All right. Well, you certainly know your bonobos. You must have read Sex at Dawn. Yes, of course.

Christopher Ryan's one of my favorite guests. You know, some people say, oh, my gosh, Nina, you guys are just like animals. Like, no, if we're like animals,

we would fuck for two weeks a year, and that's it. There'd be a mating season. And the rest of the time, like gibbons, we would not be interested.

They're monogamously pair-bound, bonded. But when it's not mating season, they don't engage in sex. You know, Christopher Ryan

really rehabilitated the word promiscuous by explaining that it's just about mixing. It's nothing negative. It's nothing about not caring

who you have sex with. A lot of people think... I know. They think we don't care.

It's like, no, no, I'm a choosy. I am choosy. I'm a discriminating slut. That's the new book.

Right? We have the discriminating slut. And we have Nina Hartley, the most discriminating slut there is.

You can follow me on Twitter at Nina Land, like Disneyland, or onlinenina.com. We love you, Nina, so much. Wait, now you're dating me.

I started 84. Oh, yeah, me. I wrote Advertising for Love in 84, my first book.

Wow, wow. And then I started doing counseling. It's true. And then I got my PhD in 91.

Okay. So, yeah, I guess in 84, I kind of started. 30 years.

Yay.