Masturbation Month ClimaxXx

Full transcript of Masturbation Month ClimaxXx on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

You're listening to Radio Susie One on the World Wide Web, and now here she is, Dr. Susan Block. Brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, artists and exhibitionists, voyeurs and connoisseurs, sex birds and sex pots, masturbators and memorialists,

wankers and spankers, husbands and wives. All you children is sex, and we are all children of sex. That's right, brothers and sisters, we may or may not be children of God,

but we are all children of sex with a capital X. Can I hear an amen? Amen. Can I hear an A-women?

Amen. I want to welcome you to my womb room, here at Dr. Susie Speakeasy in the soul of downtown LA. I am the irreverent Dr. Susan Block, your servant,

and this is my familiar Eve. If you're listening to me on Radio Susie One, I am holding my pet Akita Corn Snake here in the Garden of Eden, and yeah, baby, don't tread on me.

It's Memorial Day weekend, if you're listening to us live, and the last Saturday night of masturbation month. Yes, brothers and sisters, yes indeed. We have had a very masturbatory month here on the Dr. Susan Block show,

and, wow, started with masturbation Demio, with Charlotte Stokely, and Melana Morgan, and Kayla Jane Danger. Woo, hot. And moved into the myth of sex addiction,

the book by Dr. David Lay with, well, a bunch of sex addicts, and it turned into a sex addicts orgy. Yeah, for sure. And let's see.

Then last week we had kink survivors. Yeah, our friend Jack Hammer, survivors of the big sea, and kinky ones. And now tonight is our masturbation climax,

featuring sex spurts and sex pots from all over the world. It's also Memorial Day, Saturday night, and so, of course, I'm very patriotic. Oops, I dropped the flag.

Well, it's not burning the flag exactly, but, you know, I have a lot of flags. You're bound to drop one, okay? And this one, I think, is, I don't know, kind of phallic,

you know, the flag pole part, right? Okay, that could insert somewhere. I love my country. I do.

Sometimes it embarrasses me, which just makes it kind of kinky. Like when, you know, we're still at war in a place that we have no reason to be at war.

Yeah, well, that's been the case for God. Like years, decades, I think. America is kind of in a state of permawore. We used to go to war every once in a while,

you know, for some reason or other. And now it's like, yeah. Is it war, though, or occupation? Hey, baby.

What's tonight's slogan? Masterbation, not occupation! Woo! Yes, ma'am and sir.

Uh-huh, we salute. What is this, the single-handed salute or something? Okay, there's some kind of salute involved with masturbation. Two fingers, I think.

There you go, two fingers salute. Thank you, Chris Gore. You're welcome. A surprise guest this evening.

Well, I had to fill a hole, because one of your guests didn't show up, so I'm happy to fill that hole. A hole, yes.

Fill a hole in the womb room, baby. Yeah, yeah, we did have a last-minute cancellation, and I won't name names yet. Although, those of you who follow the show

and know who we've been promoting all week, well, you know what little black mark. Anyway, I won't talk anymore. We'll just see you in court.

No. Well, anyway, one cancellation, and you're given another chance. So, but you know, because I had one cancellation,

I have all these interesting surprises here tonight for our masturbation climax memorial day weekend show. Here comes Mickey the Wizard. Yes, that's my producer, Tasia Souter.

It's all her fault. Yeah, okay, and she's ready to do some magic. Mm-hmm. We do have some really exciting guests

that actually did manage to show up tonight, and I'm really excited to see Yazi again. Yasaman, and I do have to get my notes to pronounce her last name, Yasaman Madanikia.

Yes, or it's not Yasaman. Yasaman. It looks like Yasaman. It looks like Yasaman.

It's much more sensuous and modern than Yasaman. It sounds like some old man or something. Right, Yasaman sounds like Yasaman.

It's the Persian name for Yasaman in Farsi, so that's how they write it. So you guys can call me Yasaman. And you are Persian?

Yes, I'm from Iran. Right, and what's the difference tell me between Persian and Iranian? Oh, no difference.

We just don't want to get you confused, so Persian sounds easier, so. Hmm, Persian sounds sexier kind of. I mean, at least to us, you know,

Americans on Memorial Day. I don't know. Maybe some might find Iranian sexier, you know, in a revolutionary way.

Right, but Persian. First of all, it sounds like you're purring. Yeah. I actually have a t-shirt that says

I prayer for Persians, so we like to play with us. Yeah, you prayer for Persians. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's just got that kind of ancient harem-y kind of feeling to it. Was there a harem time in Persia? I think there was.

What? Sorry. Was there a time when there were harems in Persia? Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. But that's way before, right now, there are kind of enforced underground, but there is always lots there.

It's just it's forced underground with a new regime. But guess, you guys might not think so, but people of Iran do have sex, and there are very sexy things happening there.

You just don't see it in TV. Oh, right. Yes. No, I didn't not think so.

Matter of fact, when I used to do, I used to do shows on Skype, and I used to hear from people in Iraq and Iran, and it was fascinating the different types

of sexual issues that they have. Some very similar to us, but some very different. And I remember this one man calling up, and he was from, I think, Iraq,

but it might have been Iran. And he said that he was kind of upset because, well, his wife and he, they weren't having sex, and I had some sex birds on,

and we all gave him ideas for how to get the sex spark back with his wife. And he listened politely and then said, well, but I don't really want to have sex with my wife,

and she doesn't want to have sex with me. And so he said, oh, well, you don't want to have sex? Well, no, I do want to have sex, but not with my wife. Okay, so do you want to have an affair?

Well, no, I would never have an affair. Do you want to get a divorce? Well, no, I wouldn't divorce her. She's the mother of five of my children.

So, well, what are you going to do? What do you want to do? I want to get a new wife, a second wife. They're allowed to have up to four wives, so...

So, we were kind of shocked, but at the same time, hey, it's a form of polyamory, I guess. Yes, it is. You know, their way ahead there, I applaud that.

I think we should all just give it up for that. Except I think the women should be able to have a few husbands if they want. I agree completely.

This is Tracy Sweet speaking now, agreeing completely about the women getting to have a few husbands. That's only fair, right?

Tracy Sweet is another surprise guest tonight. We're very excited to have you back, Tracy. I don't know if that's fair. What do you mean it's not fair?

That would be Captain Max appearing in his Chairman Mao gown for Memorial Day. No, I have just joined the Chinese Navy. And they've made me captain.

Well, on Memorial Day. I have an old woman crew. Well, very nice. That's a form of harem.

Very nice. You practically do here at the Speakeasy. Not quite, though. Why do you think I stay here?

Right. Yes. Well, you know, there's no doubt that groups are fun sometimes.

It's been married for 20 years. Anyway, yeah, Tracy, Yazzie, and Chris, and there's Hernando Chavez,

Dr. Hernando Chavez. Welcome back. Dr. Suzy, thank you for having me. Thank you for filling another hole,

or maybe it's the same hole, actually. I don't know if you want to fill this. We're both filling holes, I think. You know, it's the night of DP.

Get those cameras in there. Right. So I feel like some of us were all together just a short while ago

for Quad S. Even Tracy was here. I thought it was last night. Oh, yeah, that was a different group.

That was your harem of Navy girls. But I'm excited to have us back here. Quad S, of course, is the society for the scientific study of sexuality.

Ooh, you got it. You know, I messed it up on some LinkedIn posting, and I went, oh, God, you know. But it's tough.

Okay, Quad S, four Ss, and it's a cool organization if you're into sex and science. And actually, we have on the line

another Quad S member who presented a poster on of all subjects masturbation. And I'm going to talk with Yazi

about her masturbation research in a little while, but right now I have Kristen Bowman on the line. And Kristen is from, let's see, what is this?

University of, is it New York University Graduate Center? It's the City University of New York. City University of New York. Close, you know.

Right. Okay, City University of New York Graduate Center. I thought there was a Graduate Center somewhere in there. But you are a researcher in masturbation,

specifically female masturbation. Yes. So, Mary Masturbation Month to you. Well, Mary Masturbation Month to you.

Thanks for having me. Well, you're welcome. So, have you been masturbating? Oh, of course.

Oh, good. Good, good, good. And your research in masturbation, why do women masturbate?

What did you find out? Oh, I found out some very interesting stuff. I was a day before I talked about my research, but I haven't published it yet.

I'm hoping to put the paper out in the next month or so, but I did present it at 4S, and I presented it here in New York. So, you know, I'm sort of preliminary here,

but I have found in my data, I was able to pinpoint pretty much five main reasons why women masturbate. Five main reasons.

Let's see if you've got one of mine. It's fun for you to try to guess some. Try to guess? Oh, my clever panel might try to guess.

Is one through five to come? Because that would be my guess. One of them. Off the top of my bag.

To have an orgasm. Right, have an orgasm. Yeah, sexual pleasure is definitely a big one. So, we got that one.

Sexual pleasure is one. Only one. I should get a... Well, yeah.

Okay, Chris gets one point. I have a guess. Okay. I think I have a guess.

Okay, go ahead. Tracy. Okay, so, could women masturbate because it's empowering

because they get to control their orgasm. Ooh, she got the magic word, empowering, right? Oh, empowering?

Oh, yeah, I could talk about that all night. Oh, yeah. Let's just masturbate for empowerment. Oh, hey.

Yeah, that wasn't one of my five reasons, though. Oh. I'm sorry. It is a benefit of masturbation,

of female masturbation, is you feel empowered because you realize, I know my first orgasm

was through masturbation. And when I had that orgasm, I kind of realized that, you know, I mean, I liked guys.

I didn't know I liked girls at the time. I started liking girls later. But actually, I realized I liked a girl. My first girl was me.

I went, wow. You know, I can give myself this orgasm and I realized I could do it with my boyfriend who hadn't been able to make me come.

And then I had this power right at my fingertips. It wasn't the reason that I started doing it, but it was definitely a benefit. So Tracy should get some sort of side benefit point

or something. But anyway, okay, so we still have four reasons to go. I think whatever Tracy says, she'd still get a star.

Yeah. I agree. She should get a star. She has a whole bunch of stars in her cupcakes as well.

Okay, so we need another reason. Another reason. I would say for stress relief. Stress relief.

Okay. So one of my main reasons was for like a release, like a catharsis, a release of sexual tension. Isn't that an orgasm though?

Well, you know, you could classify an orgasm either as sexual pleasure or as a release or both. How about just to kind of get to sleep at night? How about as a sleeping pill?

I put that, to help sleep, I put that under release. Okay, that's in the release category. And let's see, masturbation. And this is all masturbation by yourself?

Yes. Not with a part, not mutual masturbation. That's right. And so, I don't know, what's another reason?

To try out your new vibrator. I mean, I could put that with, one of my reasons I have here is to learn more about your own pleasure and to learn more about your own body.

Oh, yes. We are into learning, we ladies, aren't we? Mm-hmm. That's a seminar I'd like to take.

Okay, so that's how many? Four reasons? So that's three. And then the other two are both partner related.

So one, yeah, one is as a substitute for a partner who's not available. Oh, yeah, right, of course. And the other is as a substitute

because there's some sort of problem with the partner sex that you are having. Of course. Right, go off and masturbate.

Go to your corners. Mm-hmm. So, okay, well, some of these are, I mean, they're all kind of good reasons,

but some of them are a little bit, you know, like a problem in the relationship. Mm-hmm. So why did you decide you wanted to do research

on masturbation? Well, a couple of reasons, I guess. I used to be a high school science teacher, and I taught nice great biology,

and so I taught sex ed, but I kind of had to come up with my own curriculum. And so I came up with it myself and was looking at what was out there to use,

and I realized that masturbation was never taught in sex ed, and I knew that my kids had, even though I'm sure more than half of them were already having sex,

they didn't know anything about sex or sexuality. They didn't know anything about masturbation or their own bodies, and they just thought it was a crime

that they weren't being taught about this. Mm-hmm. Especially when all we hear about is, they sex, they sex,

and like the safest sex ever is masturbation. It is, as Dr. Joyce Lynette Elders tried to say. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Elders. And of course, our beloved President Bill should have taken her advice. I'm curious.

It would have gotten into a lot less trouble if he's just been wanking. But I'm just curious, what prison are you calling us from?

Uh-huh. Because with the... Aw. I couldn't hear.

I was just trying to be funny. He was trying. I was trying. Dr. Sude, that is so true, actually,

because I also work in schools and children do not, like, do not get complete sex ed. Even the teachers that I talk to,

they're English teachers and science teachers and other sorts of teachers, and they usually tell me that they end up teaching sex ed,

even though they're not sex ed educators, because there is this lack of knowledge about sexual education and just kids do not know.

And maybe they'll... I asked my sister what they told her, and they just tell her one line that masturbation is okay

and everyone does it, but that ends there for Canadians, I guess. But people...

What did they tell them in Iran? Oh. And in Iran, see, the funny thing is for guys

they tell them that you're going to have hairy arms and hairy chest and you're going to go blind. That's what they used to tell westerners.

I mean, they don't get away with that now, but now they just tell you that you're alone. What do you mean you're going to have hairy arms and hairy arms?

Hairy arms. I mean, you have on your palms. I think she meant hair on her palms. Oh, palms.

Oh, I see. No, no, no. Hairy arms. Everything.

They do pop out of the womb for you already. But that's the one thing with kids today. I mean, look, if you've got access to the internet, if you're in fifth grade,

you know what a DP is, right? I mean, let's be honest. If you just, in two clicks, you can find out any piece of information.

So if you're a kid and you go to an internet access, you're going to find this stuff out. Well, you are. But, you know, I mean,

it's a secret dirty world when it's just on the internet. Yeah, but the internet takes a little while to grow. But that only makes it more exciting

making it, you know, secret and dirty, right? That's true. That's true. It's a question of how much we're going to do it in the school.

I mean, well, not do it. I mean, when Joyce Lynn Elders said, you know, she wanted to teach masturbation and really mean everybody masturbating in class,

she meant teach it as an alternative. Yeah. But I don't know, do we want to have more of that in school?

I think so. But some people would rather just learn it on the internet. I agree completely because the high school I actually went to,

sadly, people were so uneducated to the point that they were like, oh, porn stars, they always have STDs. I was like, actually, you don't.

And most STDs, well, and I'm like giving them all this information and they're like, what? Wow.

Can you imagine teaching in the schools that porn stars don't get so many STDs? I don't know. Well, I mean,

some colleges do have porn stars that come in and give talks. You know, so. I mean, we're doing much more

sex education, I think, than we used to. Thanks to people like you, Christine, and thank you so much for joining us and sharing

your masturbation research. What's the conclusion? Is there a conclusion? We should masturbate more or what?

Well, you know, it would be my ultimate activist goal to get masturbation taught in sex education.