Master D’s SchoolGirl 40th Birthday

Full transcript of Master D’s SchoolGirl 40th Birthday on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

Need to talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else? You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves, but my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy over the phone.

Anytime you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination, my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you, role-play for you, fantasize with you, no fantasy is too taboo, and help you with anything from impotence to

exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. For more information, call us at 213-291-9497. That's 213-291-9497, anytime you need to talk. You're listening to Radio Susie One on the World Wide Web, and now here she is, Dr. Susan Block.

Brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, artists and exhibitionists, lawyers and connoisseurs,

professors and pornographers, students and teachers, masters, slaves.

All you children of sex, and we are all children of sex. Isn't that right? This is a test. Are we children of sex or are we children of God? Who knows?

We may or may not be children of God, and it depends on which God, but one thing we do know, brothers and sisters, and this is what we learn in the College of Carnal Knowledge, is we are all

children of sex. Can I hear an amen? Amen. Can I hear an A? Women. I want to welcome you

to Master D's School Girl Lap Dance Spectacular. Dr. Susan Block Speakeasy, also known as

the College of Carnal Knowledge. Also known as Bonoboville, where we

learn how to make love not war, how to express our sexual cells, rather than shoot up the movie theater. Yeah, we learn.

We get educated. We get masturbated. We get stimulated. And I am the irreverent Dr. Susan Block, your servant, your mistress of the airwaves, and your head, mistress.

That means I'm gonna learn you how to What do you think? Oh my God. Give head? Very good. She gets to give the first lap dance. Oh

Hey, there she is, brothers and sisters. She is a good girl. Bad girls get spanked. Of course, good girls can be bad girls as well. Tonight, we are celebrating

the 40th birthday of our good friend and colleague, Master Dee. How does it feel? Well, it feels pretty good, actually. To be surrounded by your

fantasy. It will only get worse once the first one starts. School girls all around you, your headmistress waiting

to punish somebody or something. And also to encourage you

to express your lap dancing selves to reveal your inner slut. By the way, this is school girls and school boys. Yes, anyone can dance. And everyone in between, right?

School trannies, I guess. Yes, school trannies. And I see you have the school nurse here. My nurse, yes. Right. You pet your nurse. That's the teacher's pet and a nurse combined in one. So sweet. The school nurse is blushing. Okay.

Well, we're definitely going to need to get examined and the school nurse, I think, should have this speculum, don't you think? I do, yes, ma'am. That's a good speculum. Very medical. Okay, we'll just keep that over here with the other supplies when you need it. Or would you like to

play with it? Yeah. Not for anal insertion. We have other things for anal insertion. I'm getting ahead of myself. But I am the headmistress. Oh, baby. So

tonight we are being tested in the fine art of school girl lap dancing. This chair is really comfortable for them. Good. That is a throne. A throne. Yes, that is actually a throne to satisfy. I like it. Your other fantasies. But actually, Master D, just in case you don't know,

is actually of an Australian dynasty. So a throne befits him. And you should Google him. Because you might be tested on his dynastic origins during the course of the evening. But first, that would be my human name, not the Master D persona.

Right. Which is David Saffron. Ah, well, I'm glad you know that. They would have to search. They would have to search that. Get a gold star for knowing your name. David Saffron, as in Saffron, right?

And look at Australia, Saffron, Abe. Few hundred thousand entries. Oh, yes. And because you will be tested. I see there's already some smoking in school that gets a spanking already.

You've already proven yourself to be the good girl and the bad girl. I'll spank her. I like to be a little bit of both. I see. Well, first, I'm going to ask for volunteers. Should I take these off? Ah, Master D would request to remove his his pants.

I'm asking if it's necessary. It is necessary, actually, because this is school and school boys should be in short pants. Well, I got underwear on the red. So red underwear. OK, well, whatever. School boy, red underwear.

OK, can we have a little stripping music? I don't want stripping music. Stripping music is necessary. Yes, stripping music is very necessary, I think.

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh. There you go. All right, very nice. All right. Glad you washed them. And and so now you look ready for your lap dance.

So students, who wants some some people are shifting around, who wants to be the first lap dancer? She's in trouble. She has to get spanked. I thought I'd ask for volunteers.

But since I have none, young lady, I haven't finished my cigarette. Actually, get all the more reason, all the more. I someone should just grab that cigarette out of her hand. Yeah, like, like, yeah, there you go.

School monitor and come right up here, young lady. Oh, yes. Well, at least she's smoking it for you. It's not going to waste. Here she is. This is Fay. Yes.

And Fay is a member of Bonoboville pretty much. She's here quite a bit and we love her. And now she is quite appropriately dressed, really. I mean, the tie, the white shirt, the plaid skirt, the boobs.

I mean, right. OK, that deserves a little spank. Oh, and this is panty this, right? Panty this. Who thought of that?

OK, you were not allowed to wear pants. That's that's perfect. OK, good man. All right. That would be Exeter Lorde, Exeter Hernandez,

Mondra, he has so many names. Mont, Exeter. We just call it mon, just mon. It's easier to sum it all up.

And I think I might need another microphone up here because I have one in front of Master. Oh, mon, mon, mon, mon, mon. Maybe I should take this one.

Maybe somebody could get me that one. OK, so we are we are going to speak with Fay in just a moment here. Are you getting ready for your lap dance?

You're going to watch this. Yes, you have to watch this and study it. Pay attention or you get spanking detention. Maybe you should move to that chair so you can watch.

No, no, I insist you move over there. Oh, you're making a little mess. That's so cute. OK, so here you are.

Here I am. And have you practiced? Have you studied for this test? I've actually never given a lap dance before.

This should be fun, then. You didn't study at all. I didn't study. Oh, my.

Well, OK, I'm going to watch porn and I end my dance. Pop quiz time, pop quiz time. All right, well, you'll just have to wing it. I guess.

This is a standardized lap dance test. Oh, jeez. Let's have some music, maestro. OK, this is lap dance number one

from Bay for birthday boy, Matt Gardner. A conservative tie, a crisp white shirt, no rock, no panty. No article of clothing should be removed. One article of clothing, any article you want.

I would prefer the shirt. Can I hear some encouragement? The shirt. Take it off.

You think he's hitting payback. I need your tie off. You'll get a spanking for knocking his ruler down. For student K, girl number one.

Now, I'm not actually sure of the criteria here. And we have one judge, I understand? Yes. Can you introduce the judge, please?

Judge Sage. Sage. What a good name for a judge. Hey, hey, come back up here.

Schoolgirl, you have not been sort of measured yet. Ranker from one to 10. You have to be ranked. Give her a rank.

OK, there's a one to 10 ranking. And of course, this is the first one. So I can't imagine she's going to give you a one or a 10. So it's sort of like what?

What does she get? What is the number? Maybe you should. Oh, no, you can't get up to a microphone.

OK, so I need a translator here. Just with your hands. What number? Seven.

Seven. Seven is a lucky number. Seven's good. And I mean, that's about a C, right?

70%. I'm going to just do a no. No, no, a C would be a five. Yes, a five.

A five would be C. I would say a seven is a B minus. It depends what ranking you're going on, the American or the Japanese.

Well, is this? Yeah. I mean, in Japan it would be like B's and A's. Let me just ask the judge is what would you say?

Would you say she's a C? And maybe we should give it like scores like in school. ABC or D. ABC or D or E or F.

Yeah, because that way it does seem more like school. Well, she gets a definite A for her outfit. But I want to go with a C for. Okay, right, right.

Well, she's new and I agree. And that was what gave you, well, it was your first time here. Can I have the microphone here? We should get a boy to come up here and do one.

Cry for us, would you? Oh, no, you know, that's what school is for. Learning to learn how to lap dance. Okay, my next lap dance will be a will be at least a B

to lap dance. Yeah, right, right, at least a B. Okay, so we have to have another volunteer now. Maybe I wasn't drunk enough for it.

Probably not. Okay, would somebody get her a drink? I mean, it's like pencil and paper in this school. You know, you gotta have it.

Maybe we should get Mon to give me a dance. Yes. So she, is it proceeding? I think he's gonna need a drink for that.

No, we should go with the sandwich idea that we came up with. The sandwich idea. The sandwich idea.

I sit on his lap. Is he hiding? So much is on his lap. And then he gets a lap dance on top of that girl.

So he doesn't have to actually touch Mr. D. Oh, I like that idea. Yes, yeah. Yes, I like that idea.

We came up with that idea. Like a buffa. All right, all right. Where did, I think Mon has disappeared.

No, he's a child. No, there he is. He's smiling, he's smiling, he's smiling. He's smiling, he's smiling, he's smiling.

All right, are you ready for this? Or do you need like, no, okay. He needs a couple more drinks before you even. Okay, I think you should give him

a couple more drinks off of your ass and tits. Okay. And I need a new volunteer. And then we're gonna do this after this one.

So you have time to get ready. See, I'm not as wicked and had mistress as I am rumored to be. I'm giving you some time, okay? See, he's much more evil than me.

Are you crying? But I am actually more evil than him because now you have no excuse. So it's time to prepare.

Do I have permission to be excused? Yes, you do. Thank you. It's after a spank though.

Present your ass. And whack. Ooh, what a great ass. No, no, no, I didn't say you could go.

Actually, I think the hand stamp is, yeah, I'm gonna do a hand stamp for you. Yeah, so you get this. Just because, yeah, well that's what I've got.

This is from Chris Gore. He's a nice little good student. He gave me this to present to, there we go. Good girl, huh?

Turn around. Maybe come over here so I can spank you. Oh, it makes it so much more desirable now that it's got a label on it, huh?

Did you smear my stuff here? He smeared it. He's a spoiled birthday boy. This is a panel she made herself.

This is a panel. Oh, that's much better. Whoa. Okay, the serious stuff.

See, I told you he was more wicked than me and Mawn here is more wicked than both of us and he is gonna get it soon because your lap dance is soon.

Okay, here we go. Whack. Oh, that's pretty firm, isn't it? You made this?

Oh, yes, I made it. Oh, this is nice. So you like this? Ow, ow.

Is it hurt? That's excellent. That's really good. No, no, does it really hurt?

Yes, it really hurts. That's great. Okay, it's working then. Okay, this is gonna be really hurtful, okay?

I'm gonna really go like a long one. Wow. This is really gonna be painful. Just relax.

Just try to breathe. Just focus on something. Just focus. Corporal punishment. Okay, just count to three and it will be on four.

We can't hear her though. Where's Teja? Teja? I have to count to three.

Yeah, count to three. It's probably gonna be on four or five. I don't know, I'll randomly change it. Oh my goodness.

You always do this. You always do this. It just depends. You're so cruel.

You're so cruel. It's what my mood is. I don't know. I can't predict it.

Are you in a three? I don't make the rule. Just go to three, okay. Okay, one.

Don't look at me. Don't look at the cameras. Two. Look at Mon.

Three. That was a cute sound. Okay, you are allowed to get him ready now. All right.

I like it. Let's hear it for... Get Mon ready for his lap dance. Yes.

Yeah. Mon's getting ready for his lap dance. All right, whatever it takes. And yes, we have another lap dancer ready.

Who's ready? Who is ready? Who is ready for a lap dance? Stare at her, this one here.

Yes, she's never done it before. What? No, are you're being naughty and okay. You're obviously...

Just because you're holding the ruler and I really want to be spanked by you. Oh, okay. Whatever the reason.

Proper school girl attire is required. Honestly, I think you should spank it with this. It's really good. Starry Night is wearing proper school girl attire.

And she is being a good girl, but she was so reluctant to do her lap dance that she's going to have to start with a spanking. Do you want to use this?

Over my knee. Susan? Oh. This is really good.

I'm going to save that for the birthday boy. Oh, good. Okay, so she is wearing some very nice black panties. Don't need this anymore.

Down, get that ass down, girl. On my lap, on my lap, I'm little. You have to remember that. Be a good girl.

Naughty, naughty, naughty girl. Where's the microphone? Okay, I think I'm sitting on it. Yeah.

There it is. Okay, and Starry Night gets a spanky. She's a naughty girl. That's kind of like noises.

Ooh, ow. It doesn't sound really convincing. Okay. Hey, let me try.

Let me just try something. Let me just try something. Only that one. He's so cruel.

I'll just do a bunch of them with the metal one on here. Okay, lap dance time. Oh, God, no. I mean, oh, geez, yes.

Here she is, Starry Night. She's definitely got more technique. Takes her whack. Nice.

How's she do this? How is this a lap dance? Her head is doing the lap part. Make your own rolls, Master D, it's your birthday.

Okay, so what is the score, Sage? I give her a seven also. I think he's gonna be okay. Definitely technique there.

Lucky sevens. Hey, explain. I'm the judge. Okay, I totally.

Here comes the judge. Her technique is awesome. She can stretch in a very stretchy ways. Wow.

Wow. Hey. And I definitely a B plus for original outfit. I mean, how many girls will wear leather?

Don't talk, don't talk. We can't hear you. Bed mic, doctor. So, okay.

Or you get spanked again? Okay, so, but you got a seven. She, how come she got a seven? Well, you know what, let's just do letters.

Letters please, yes. Oh yeah, letters. Okay, so I'll give her a B for technique. Okay.

Actually a B plus. All right. And a B for outfit. It's very nice.

Very nice. All right, this is a tough teacher, but you know, hey, B is pretty good. You'll get into college that way.

At least the College of Cardinal knowledge. This judge is tough. Okay, let's have the microphone now, please. Can I have the mic?

Okay. And let's give a mic to her back there, I guess. Where did Starrie go? Starrie, Starrie.

You also, now you used to live with Master D. Yes, Ma'am, drink up Ma'am, please. That's what made it kind of weird. Tell us something personal about Master D.

Okay, he likes to sing in the shower. I've heard it. What does he like to sing? Oh, what was it?

Oh, God. Can you, can you do an impression of him? Come on. He wants to hear him do an impression of him in the shower.

Yeah. We all do. Yes, he has his own mic, it's okay. It's so, oh.

But it's so cute. It's like the cutest thing you'll ever hear. We're waiting. I'll do it with you.

No, no, I can do it myself. I can do it myself. Okay, he's got to do it. Oh, I can do it.

Do you want to start it? I've heard it. I swear to God. Okay, start it, okay.

Oh, God almighty. Okay, it's sort of like, it's a child's voice because I, all right. How's it going?

Okay, that's the voice. And it goes on like that. Aw. Like, it's seriously the cutest thing you'll ever hear.

You'll hear, shower, shower, and you're like, what the hell is going on in here? And you'd be like, walk up to his room and you're like, okay, Mastery's taking a shower.

But at least he had clean laundry. Somebody should sing that during the next lap dance. They should. I bet you went.

It's my one time to relax in the whole day. Oh, I don't have to think about anything. All right, you say so. Well, thank you so much, Starry Night,

for introducing us to that very extremely important tidbit about Master D. Happy birthday, we're celebrating tonight. Now that you're over the hill.

I'm not over the hill yet. You're 40, oh my God. I think 40 qualifies as over the hill for schoolgirls. But you know what?

You know, this is about schoolgirls here, Master D. You'll never, ever, ever, ever look as good as this one. It's just not gonna happen.

I'm over many hills and dales and mountains. You could be over my hill anything. Oh, thank you, baby. All right, thank you, Starry Night.

Let's hear it. She's a teacher's pet, that's for sure. All right, how about the schoolboy now? Master Mon.

Not master, he's just a- What is he? Lord? Monmon.

He's a lord. Tronmon? Is that a lord? Come here, baby.

You know you wanna. Just sit on my lap. I'm not going to force anything here. Don't force this, you don't know.

He's gonna do this because he wants to. It's adjusting my outfit. No peer pressure at all. Okay, well, I guess he's doing this at his own free will.

I'm not sure. It's his own free will, yes. No, you love me. Oh, I wanna hear that on microphone, please.

Yes, I do. Where's my mic? Here we go. Mon, can you please-

Can you say what you said to everyone on the microphone? Yes, please. For the record, I hate you. Thank you, thank you very much.

Well, this is time to act like a schoolboy, isn't it? Right, and say things like I hate you. This is especially kinda fitting and ironic since he is my mentor, so.

Right, and it is fitting and ironic to hate your mentor. Yeah, it is. I'm hating the sexual harassment I'm getting from my mentor.

Yes, I think this is sexual harassment. See, buffer. Buffer, oh, okay. You're dancing.

It's quite a nice buffer. See, right here. Why do I have a feeling that somehow or another you're gonna manage to-

No, no. There's even more of a buffer. Never, never. We would never do anything that you don't want.

Yeah, I highly doubt that coming from you. Okay. Some people just like to resist. Anyway.

This is Mon's first time. Mon's first time lap dancing. Lap dance for him. Mon is an excellent dominant of Faye,

having learned at the knee of Master D. And now he is here as a schoolboy with his schoolboy hat and suspenders. Properly attired, that is the requirement here.

And now the lap dance begins. Yeah, Mon. Woo! So aggressive.

I like it. Yes, he's filming the suspenders. Oh, sexy. Yeah, take it off, yo.

He's got good skin. Maybe somebody's gonna mark it up. Flexing under the clouds. Woo!

It's like a smothering massage. My Asian fantasies were coming true then. Now C-Class, next time you experience sexual harassment at school,

give your teacher that kind of lap dance or something. Or maybe you have to- Thank you very much.

To the board, to get them to side with you and your sexual harassment claims. Okay, he managed to do that. Yes, that was very nice.

I have no idea how I was subjected to this. Oh, you didn't even touch him. You used a shirt, you used a buffer. That was-

You smothered me with it, it was great. I liked it. I mean that was practically a Christian lap dance there. I mean, no, but you survived, okay?

It was proper, it was done. Oh, look at you, you're ready for a lap dance, aren't you? Okay, well first we have to get a grade though. Definitely get a name for getting up there

and spreading your stuff. At all. Unfortunately, I have to give you two Ds because, well, you really didn't seem like you were into it.

Oh, it just didn't seem like it. I wasn't. Yeah, you were just very uncomfortable. I actually-

But I was more into it than I expected actually. Yeah, I mean yeah. But she's the judge, so I mean I would have disagreed with that. I thought he should have gotten a better grade.

But you know, that's school for you. You cannot question the judge even when they're wrong. That's how school is, right? You get these teachers who don't, they're half insane.

That's why they're teaching, not doing, right? And then they're grading you and deciding on the rest of your life. Okay, well you're not gonna be a lap dancer.

Forget that as a career. That actually gives me a little bit of a sigh of relief. All right, so now, young lady. Here she is, the mystery woman.

Do I know her name? Do you know her name? Woo! She volunteers.

She looks good. She volunteers. She's got her little skirt on here. And what is she wearing?

Oh, panties for panty boy. Look at the, keep them on for a moment. Just keep them on for a moment. Because these are great schoolgirl panties.

She's got on blue and white polka dot panties. Yes, I should show these a little bit, yeah, here we go. And now, of course, these panties deserve a spanking. Over my knee.

I am the headmistress in Master D's school of lap dancing spectacles. Right up that tush, we go. Get your pussy down on my knees here

so I can get off. I'm sexually harassing you, right? And there. And whack, whack, whack, whack.

Where is that microphone? Where is the mic? Somebody bring me the mic. Yes.

Ah, here's the teacher's pet. Come on, get the mic. OK, well, then I'll just spank you and no one will hear your screams.

Oh! Harder, please. I think she's going to break me. Oh my goodness.

Are you now having amnesia? Oh! Well, thank you. OK.

Well, I just gave you the warm-up spanking. Do you like superstar Molly Shannon? Can you do a superstar? What is your name, first of all?

Lovely. Lovely. Yes. Lovely.

Well, lovely. What a name. Thank you. That's a good name for a school.

OK, and you have a very lovely little outfit on, and now you may remove your panties. Oh, absolutely. Thank you.

Yes, OK. OK, a little panty removal music, please. Susie! We have to stop singing you happy birthday.

Now the birthday boy. Birthday boy. Here's lovely. Another pair of panties on under the first pair.

That's very ingenious. I think you get an A for ingenuity. Yeah. But here, here, you've got the mic on.

How are you feeling? I feel good. I feel great. OK.

I feel energized, and I feel like a good, classy slut. A good classy slut. Well, this is the school of classy sluttery,

that's for sure. OK, judge. Do we have a microphone? Yes, you do.

So what's the verdict? Wow. That was a wow. She's looking for extra credit.

Well, definitely an A for enthusiasm and technique, and I have to give her an A for her uniform, or lack thereof. Wow.

I've got her keys and her credit card, so that's all good for me. You know, hey, that's one way to become the teacher's pet. Give me a hard credit card.

OK, no. You were great, I think. I don't know. So you've got an A.

I mean, how's someone going to beat that, then? You gave her the best mark? Wow. OK.

All right. Hey, by the way, are there prizes for these school dance girls? I don't know.

School girls? Maybe. Maybe. OK.

What? Thank you. Probably. Probably?

That's better than a no. You know, Master D, since you are so kind of on the fence about the prizes. I don't know what's going on.

We're going to give a prize. The College of College of Knowledge here at Dr. Susie Speakeasy will give you prizes for the winner, when we determine the winner.

Yeah, OK. OK. So thank you. I can't really breathe.

You don't know Master D? No, just met him. OK. I met him with my tutor and my breasts.

And we shook hands with his dick. Wow. Amazing. How was his dick?

Oh, you know, it's a dicklicious. Hey. Is it a firm handshake? Yes, we had a dick vagina handshake going on there.

It was pretty intense. All right. So dick vagina handshake. With the panties on and everything.

Oh, wow. Where did your other panties go? What? Oh, good catch, girl.

Thank you. Yeah, very good. OK. Well, you know, I'm going to give you a new pair of panties

since you seem to like panties so much. I love panties. Yes. And I get more panties.

Two pair of panties for you. And you're going to put them on for us, right? Oh, absolutely. OK, here we go.

There she goes. And in the meantime, while she's putting on panties, you're next, right? Yes, yes, she's next.

She's never done it before. I'm just here to look pretty. Well, you can look pretty up here. Can you come up here and look pretty?

You can just come up here and model. How about modeling? Yeah, she likes modeling. Modeling.

Come up, stand and look modeling. Model a little bit. Stand up and model. Stand up where you are.

OK. Why did you come here? You didn't come to learn, obviously. You only learned by doing, young lady.

OK, who wants to volunteer? Ah, that's an interesting outfit for school, kitty. This is kitty twinkle toes. Is that what you wore to school?

Maybe spirit week. I didn't know we were going to be at school. Oh, that's what they always say when they don't come properly attired for school events.

They say, I didn't know. My cat ate my homework. That deserves a spanking. But first, a lap dance for Monsieur Master D.

Birthday boy extraordinaire. And here she is, kitty twinkle toe. Who's becoming a regular here at the Speak Easy? OK, she's going to take the headdress off.

That's probably good. That's probably a good idea, right? And she's going to also take the boots off. Yeah, here she is.

This is kitty twinkle toes, who was actually a former ballet dancer with the Joffrey Ballet. So you have to judge her a little more harshly than the others because she has had quite a bit of experience this one.

So I haven't been dancing for 10 years. Although she has plenty of excuses. That's for sure. The cat ate my homework.

I didn't know. I haven't been dancing for 10 years. She's amazing, brothers and sisters. How do you not know it's schoolgirl spectacular in the title?

It's schoolgirl. You know, how do you let your cat eat your homework? It's weird. OK, here we go.

And she is. What is she going to do now? Are you going to do more? Oh, you're going to start up there.

OK, here she is. Kitty twinkle toes, brothers and sisters. Judge, let's hear the news. Wow.

Well, unfortunately, you didn't dress the part. OK. So I'm going to have to give you a D for your appearance. And definitely an A for technique.

OK. Another whack. I like A for technique. A for technique is good.

Yeah. All right. But not wearing the uniform. So, D, that's definitely.

Student attire is required. All right. Well, you've been chastised. But this is Kitty's.

Even though I don't win or whatever, I loved it. I enjoyed it. It doesn't matter. We love you, Kitty.

It's not about the winning. That's the school spirit. All right. Who's next?

Yeah, who's next? You the one boy. Oh, here's a boy. Here's a boy.

Bring the boy up. OK. Eric? Give him some boy-appropriate music.

OK. We have a couple of calls. So have a seat. Just sit down with me.

Let's see. Who do we want? Line one is? Sit there for a second.

Eric? Do schoolgirls like to have their feet worshipped? Yes. OK.

I answered that. Mike in Miami, can he see schoolgirls bend over while he jacks off? No. Can he see schoolgirls bend over while he jacks off?

Well, I guess he could. I'm sure he could, yeah. But it's my birthday, so I'd say probably no. Well, how about while you jerk off?

No. We got his shorts off, but not the jerk off. OK. Who do we got?

Line one. Hello. Hi. Is this Eric?

OK. So Eric, you want to know if schoolgirls like to have their feet worshipped? Only dominate tricks, schoolgirls, actually. Some submissive schoolgirls could have their feet worshipped.

Or switch. Or switch, maybe. They could give you a foot job, anyway. Foot finishes.

I mean, do you like schoolgirl feet with little white socks? Not me, no. I like the uniform. I just like the uniform.

The uniform, right. It's the uniform itself, not the actual. You're into the feet, huh, Eric? Eric, we can't hear you.

Sorry, we've got a lot of people here, so I don't know if calls make sense. We have a bunch of calls wishing you a happy birthday, Master D, but we can't hear any of these people. So, next.

OK. You are? I'm Jeremy. Jeremy.

OK. And do you know Master D already? Yes, I've been to his parties. Ah, I see.

And are you a submissive or dominant? I came as a teacher, but I've decided to be a schoolboy. You've decided to be a schoolboy. OK.

Well, I don't think schoolboys wear long pants like that. This one does. Naughty schoolboy. All right.

All right. This is a naughty schoolboy. I can see that. OK.

So, do your darnedest schoolboy. Here we go. Yay. Oh, go Jeremy.

Giving Master D a lot of that. Oh, what is it? Jeremy. Jeremy.

Excuse me. OK. Schoolboy Jeremy. Schoolboy Jeremy.

Yeah. Let's hear it for Schoolboy Jeremy. OK. And he gets a handshake.

All right. So, let's get the microphone back to you. OK. How do you feel?

Yeah. I feel great. Yeah. OK.

Did you ever do that before? I've never done that before. Laugh dance for a teacher? Never ever.

OK. And you feel like you learned something? Oh, definitely. What?

That it's awesome? Best lesson. I don't know. I need to teach my students to speak in more clear,

declarative sentences. I think you need to bend over her knee. Go over my knee. Need another word than awesome.

Over the knee. Yes, teacher. Here we go. And whack, whack, whack.

OK. Can I have another word than awesome? Spectacular. OK.

At least that is on the program. Thank you. All right. All right.

Any other lap dance volunteers? You're welcome. We keep pointing to this one. I know she doesn't want to do it.

She doesn't stand up. She's crippled. And that's politically incorrect to say. She has a disability.

OK. She cannot walk. She has no legs. Oh, my God.

That's what I said. Amputee lap dance. Yeah. Amputee lap dance.

She has arms. Amputee lap dance. Exactly. That could be actually quite fun.

You know, I forgot to do this on somebody else. Who wants a stamp on their butt? How about that? Would you like a stamp on your butt?

You can get at least a stamp. Yeah, you can stand up for a second. Stamp on the butt, stamp on the butt. Standing up would be nice.

I assure you, it's quite fun. You'll appreciate the stamp on the butt. Let's just give her a lot of peer pressure. Stamp on the butt.

Get it, Mark. Stamp on the butt. Yeah! Here she comes.

What's her name? Lindsay. Right, Lindsay. Look how tall she is.

I mean, she should be in front of the camera. Lindsay. OK, let's give her a microphone. Hey, Lindsay.

Thank you so much for joining us. You're Master D's school girl fantasy. Yes, definitely. 100%.

Can you speak to that master? 100%. Yes. OK.

Tall, beautiful. And how do you know him? I just met him. This is my first experience ever doing anything like this.

Are you his Facebook friend? Yes. I see. Beware of going to these Facebook parties.

They can be dangerous. Through my boyfriend. So we're not going to make you do a lap dance unless you change your mind.

No, no. But we are going to give you a stamp. So you need to just go across my hand. But no spanking.

No, I'm not giving you a spanking. No, it's giving you a stamp. It's a stamp. It's a stamp.

It's a stamp. OK. Right over my hand. So scared.

Here she is. Lindsay. She's such a good girl. There she goes.

There she goes. I'm not going to lie and tell her I'm not going to spank her and then spank her. Give her a stamp.

I do have a little bit of spank. You're fidgeting. I'm going to spank you if you don't stop fidgeting. OK.

There we go. No. Wait, another one here. That one didn't really work.

Yeah. It's supposed to say bitch. But it says... Beesh.

Beesh. Beesh. Beesh. Beesh.

Beesh is kind of sexy actually. Yes, ma'am. The stamp. Oh, I'm stamping her whole ass up.

What is that about? OK. Here we go. OK.

And now one more for the H. OK. There. There we go.

Is it a separate H? OK. Let's hear it for Lindsay. Yay.

Just stand there for a little bit. OK. And turn around. Turn around.

Show your booty. Show your booty. Yeah. A little higher.

Oh. Actually a student somewhere? Yes, I am. Where are you student?

El Camino College. OK. And what are you studying? Photography.

Oh. Very good. Well, next time bring your camera. OK.

OK. Then we won't harass you so much. You'll be a photographer. Thank you.

OK. Let's hear it for Lindsay. Woo. I don't know.

Do we judge her? That's sort of a... No. She didn't do a dance.

She didn't do a dance. No. OK. She can't win.

All right. Thank you very much. Who else wants to do a dance? How about Celine?

Do you want to do a dance? How about a dance? A lap dance for the birthday boy. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Let's hear it for Celine. Here she comes.

Well, technically she's got a uniform on so it's OK. She does. She does. I mean, I don't know if you wear those stockings to school, young lady.

That's a bad girl wears stockings like that. Yeah. Stockings like that get you a spanking right off the bat. And I was tardy.

And what is your relationship to Master D? We have met on many occasions. There's no actual relationship. I just know him.

And what do you have to say for his birthday? Happy birthday. Thank you. And what is your lap dance experience?

Have you gone to college for this? Hmm. And I took one class, but I skipped about half of it. And what do you really study?

Anthropology and gender studies. OK. Well, that's very appropriate. I think you need to develop your lap dance ability for gender studies for sure.

OK. And we have music coming right now. Here we go. Lap dance for Master D by Siren Selene.

Thanks a self. Microphone. Did you enjoy that? Yes.

I'm not very experienced, but I did my best. All right, Judge. How do you feel about her best? Hey, teachers pet.

How about some agua shots? All right. OK. Judge.

It's not about the experience. Give her a D for her outfit. A for outfit. OK.

Even though the socks should not be worn in school, these are really not. No, those are gnarly. I like them. I went to clown school.

Oh, OK. Clown school, actually. That's not bad. Those are gnarly.

Good answer. Definitely a B for technique. B for technique. OK.

That's not bad for a beginner. OK. All right. For an anthropology major.

Most anthropology majors would get a D, really. Lap dancing, huh? So, OK. Go ahead.

More lap dance volunteers. You know, people are abandoning us. It's weird, isn't it? Where are my lap dance volunteers?

Lap dance volunteers. How about this young lady is all dressed up like a schoolgirl. You could just, you want a hand stamp? No, no, nothing.

Your schoolboy master makes you a stamp. He's trying to convince her. OK. Oh, Dr. Susan.

Yes. She wants a stamp. Oh, you want a stamp? Yes.

You should get a stamp. Oh, yes. Definitely an anthropology major should have a bitch stamp. OK.

Thank you for bitching. OK. And now I have to get the H. Make sure I get it all.

OK, here we go. Now, maybe I'll do this again. One thing you don't want to have is too little ink on your ass. Make sure it says bitch, not beesh.

Beesh? OK, here we go. Yeah, beesh is really not perfect. OK.

Do it. Do it. I think I should do it right side here. So I'm bending down for this.

Pretty none of them. Pretty none of them. How's that? Yeah, bitch.

Here we go. Bitch, itch. Now it looks like itch. Bitch.

Thank you, Chris Gore. All right. Here's somebody that went to school. He's got a mortar board on his head.

Do you want to do a lap dance? Whoa, we've got the graduate. Yeah, yeah, definitely. You should come up here with that outfit.

OK. All right. So we are now going to have the school drink. Some schools have cupcakes at the end of class.

I don't know what's going on here. Oh, I know, right? It's not milk. Well, we have a couple coming up here.

Come on. Come on. OK. And here you go.

OK. All right. You can... You want to help her with that, Kitty?

Help her distribute. OK. We... Well...

Have a seat. He's a headmaster, right? Thank you. And so who are you?

Yes, school master. Oh, you've got the cane. Think Pink Floyd video. Oh, OK.

Remember? I like it. We can't get no education. No, right, right.

Educate. We only get masturbation and stimulation and titillation. We can't get no education. Well, you look very educated or...

I am a little bit educated. Yeah? We're given educated. In America, I've always relied on the kindness of American universities.

And they let you in because of that accent, right? Yes, basically. Yeah, actually, yeah. They think you're smart.

UVM, OU, UW. And what do we call you, professor? You can call me Alistair. Alistair.

Alistair. What an appropriate name for a professorial type. And who are you here with? Michelle.

Michelle. Is she your pupil? She is tonight. And what is she learning?

I will see, but I'm sure it will be a painful lesson that will last for a while. Now, the test in our College of Cardinal Knowledge is in lap dancing.

School girl lap dancing. School girl attire is required. And your pupil has dressed appropriately. Very good.

Now, lap dancing. Is a lap dance possible? I'm not an expert. No.

Okay. No lap dance. You get a spanking. You have to get a spanking.

All right. I'm going to let your professors spank you, although I'll be here to help in case you get it. Okay.

We'll happily do some spankings, but the student lady can't spank on camera, unfortunately. Oh, she can't spank on camera. All right.

Maybe we should just get her liquored up, and then she'll change her mind. No. Never mind.

No, I didn't. Never mind. Never mind. Is your mouth warm in here?

I don't know if they can drink. Can you drink on camera? You're now very much on camera. Listen, if you don't want to be on camera,

you should leave now, the stage. Seriously. I'm fine. Are you up for an award somewhere?

Like at a university, or are you going to get like a merit scholarship, and you're afraid that if you get a spanking, you'll lose it?

Yeah. I just don't want anyone I work with to see. Ah! Are they here?

But they could see you just looking like a slutty schoolgirl anyway. That's fine. Okay. Not the work, though.

There's someone here. All right. Here we go. Okay, so this is now the ritual.

Who wants to partake in our agua drinking ritual? Come forward. I can't hear you. When you speak like...

I'm putting my pants on. All right. So... No, no, don't put your pants on.

The show's not over yet. No, we're going to have a group picture. You should keep your pants off for that. Okay, would you like a drink?

No one's giving you a drink. I don't drink alcohol. Oh, that's right. Of course.

Well. Okay, here's what you do. You lick a body part, and then you put the salt on the body part.

Yes. And then... Yes, right. Cleavage is okay.

Nipple would be better, but maybe the people at work would be too excited. Oh, that's huge. Yes.

Here we go. Okay, here she goes. Kitty twinkle toes, and her twinkle tongue is about to link my boobs.

Okay, don't get lipstick on my bra. Okay. Beautiful. Thank you.

Is it salt first, is it? Salt first, and then your reward is the drink for having licked the salt. Yeah.

There you go. Very good. Very good, professor. Perfect.

Falls up. Yep. You lost your hat. Hats off.

Hats off. Well, you're supposed to throw it in the air, but that's okay. All right.

And you got a good lick? Yes, I did. Good. Gentle.

Okay. Very gentle. Very gentle. At no lipstick.

Let's hear it for Kitty twinkle toes. Okay, you could lick a part of him now for your drink. No.

Oh, maybe something a little more exciting like the back of his neck at least. How about that? Yeah.

Or the ear. You could put salt in his ear. Put salt in my ear. Okay.

Will you go up there and take a shot? I want you to take off that fishnet thing so I can lick your ass. Oh, you look like you're getting a spanking right now.

Wow. Okay. Relax. Relax, professor.

Yes. We don't do that. Okay. Okay, very good.

Okay, here she goes. And now, licking up the salt of the arugula. Yummy. Okay.

Hold the microphone and tell us, school us in something or other. Okay. So maybe you should bend over Master D.

And as she bends over Master D, right? Like that. Yeah. Very good.

That's a nice ass. No? Yes. Okay.

And there's the salt. Woo. And balls up is the way we do it around here. Nice.

Okay. One day I will taste what this is, maybe. So Master D, now that we're here and we have a few more minutes only left of the show,

I want you to tell us how you feel to be here tonight. Celebrating your 40th birthday. I took my glasses off because I get a little euphoric when school girls are around.

It's better that I don't see them. I'm feeling good. Thank you for asking. And do you have any more requests for your birthday?

Oh, just have a great time. Yeah. And do we have a winner of the lap dance spectacular? The winner is lovely.

The winner is lovely. Where is lovely now? Lovely here. Lovely.

Come on up here and do a final lap dance. Oh. Oh, yes. Oh, well, I think, yes.

You want to drink before your lap dance? Oh, you don't need one. She doesn't need to do another lap dance. She's won.

Oh, she's won. I'll do a victory dance. She'll do a victory dance. There she goes.

Right up there. This is very interesting. OK. OK.

Lovely. And you win a t-shirt. OK. Take off your bra and put on your t-shirt.

OK. Right now. There she goes. A screaming O t-shirt.

Pretty panties. And another pair of panties. Yes. Here she is.

The official screaming O girl. The winner of the Master D. Schoolgirl lap dance spectacular for his 40th birthday.

Brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners. All right, we only have a few more minutes. Is there any testimonials for Master D on this night of his birthday?

Who wants to tell me some secrets or give me a happy birthday message? Where are all your friends, Master D? I think they're all inside celebrating.

OK. We should go and probably join them. Well, we will. OK, you can go.

But I have a show that I have to finish, which has 10 more minutes, actually. So I have a responsibility to my lovely viewers. Why don't you get those two to come up and talk?

Which two? Those two there. You look great. Look at you.

You look fantastic. They look like schoolgirls, totally like schoolgirls. Well, you look fantastic.

What is your name? Tori. Kira. Kira.

Excuse me, brothers and sisters, students, can we have a hand for these outfits, please, and these lovely ladies? Yes, look at this.

This is just a fantastic outfit. And somehow, I don't think you know Master D. No. You're just me.

I actually came up. Talking on the microphone. Sorry. We actually came up just to wish you

a happy, happy birthday. Thank you. Thank you. I hope you enjoy the rest of your night.

Wow. Now, are you like real schoolgirls? I wish. I wish I could wear this every day.

Oh, what do you usually wear? I mean, what do you do? What kind of work do you do? I'm aspiring to be a makeup artist

and a preschool teacher, so I don't get to wear these things. You could also be a costume designer. I would love to.

You could be. Thank you. You're very good. Okay, and what about you?

Are you a schoolgirl? You know, yeah, I'm actually a schoolgirl. What's your subject? Subject marketing, actually.

Marketing. Marketing major. Yeah. And a little style.

I'm actually going to study style. Yeah, talking to the microphone right up here. That's right. That's part of marketing.

You got to get your voice very nice and clear right there. To the mouth. Uh-huh. Have you ever dressed?

Is this how you dress for school? You are a schoolgirl. Yes, actually. Yeah, you dress like this.

At least Apollo shirt and pearls. At least. Apollo shirt and pearls. Interesting combination.

And the skirt, though, you don't wear that to schoolgirls. Well, the skirt, maybe not so high up. Okay.

You got panties on right now? Yeah, thank you. Let's show the panties for Panty Boy. Could you, here?

Let me hold the microphone. I can't show my panties. You can't show your panties? Okay, how about yours?

Can we see your panties? Mine? Yeah. Oh, look at those pretty white panties.

This is a costume designer in the making. She knows she's going to be showing her ass. And she gets it covered with pretty pure white panties. Okay, what's your names again, girls?

Kira. Kira. And Tori. And Tori.

You got that. You got Twitter accounts? No. You got to get Twitter accounts.

Okay, happy birthday. Yeah. I want to hear from the school nurse. School nurse, come on, put forward, please.

All right. Hi, there. Well, you do have a voice just like my school nurse from junior high. Well, yeah.

This nurse is really good. Does a job. I remember my school nurse from junior high. You actually kind of look like her, too.

That's a little disturbing. I don't think I'm that person. No, no, no, no. That was years ago.

But you do look, you know, like a nurse. So, explained, I saw you before. You looked very different a few months ago when you were here with Starry Knight. Right.

And you were kind of like her master. Yeah. And now tonight, you're a little bit... A little bit on the other side of that.

Yeah, absolutely. Tell me about that. Well, I mean... School, school, my students.

Well, we have a tendency to kind of switch things up every once in a while, you know. Yeah. It keeps things fresh, you know. Uh-huh.

A lot of spice here when you play both sides of the fence. Right. So you thought in honor of Master D's birthday, you would dress as... Well, it's particularly disturbing because last year is a school girl.

I was. Yeah, and... Oh, last year you dressed as a school girl. I did.

And is my former roommate. Uh-huh. And a former roommate of about a year, yeah. Yeah, so it's particularly disturbing.

So last year it was lap dance on top of me with Sir Shindi, which was a crushing sort of incredible experience in torture. And now, and now she's a nurse. Well, I figured, you know, there's going to be a lot of school girls here

and there's a lot of competition in that, but there obviously is not going to be much for the other administrative effects that exist in, you know, the school-astic environment. That's why I went for the headmistress.

Absolutely, absolutely. You know, there is one other nurse here this evening as well. There is. Yeah, so I came with my friend John.

Somehow I...Oh, another guy. No, no, no, it's a female. John? No, came with a friend.

Oh, oh, okay, okay. Okay, okay. Can we get her over here? I'd like to have the two nurses on the stage.

I have no clue where she's walked off to. Fellow nurse, come up to the stage. Everyone is pottying in there. It's just crazy.

They're just pottying away. Well, you are here. I know. And...

I like being here. I would like to have... I'm very comfy. I'm glad you survived.

I did. I was quite concerned about your ticker there. Oh, were you taking his pulse? I took his pulse a couple of times,

but I'll tell you... Can you check him in front of us, please? I could. Yeah, I'd like you to check him.

Oh, Lord. Oh, yes, because after all, he has had a lot of lap dances. Okay, check.

Oh, yes. Yes, check it, check it. I got boobies. You know, all I feel is moob here.

Just a lot of moob. Oh... Nurse, my heart... I think I might be finding your heart.

My heart isn't down there. How about down there? How about down there? Down there?

Okay. That could be because you're scaring him, Nurse. My heart is definitely not down there. That probably has a lot to do with it.

Yeah, well, a creepy factor is what I look for. And, you know, I definitely deliver it to him every year, and I hope to deliver it to him again next year, so be looking out for it because it's going to be worse.

It's not going to get any better. I don't know how it could be worse than this. Well, I don't know either, but what I do know is I've got five minutes left,

so I think in those five minutes, we're going to do the group shot. Okay. Yes, so I want everybody...

Teja, round them up. Everybody that was on the show, come on up onto the stage. That's Yufei, Yuman, and Professor Celine.

Everybody up here. Everybody up here. Let's do it. Okay.

All right, everybody who was on the show, including our winner, Lovely, and anyone who is a schoolgirl, in schoolgirl attire,

but who does not have a boss or coworkers that they don't want to see. And by the way, follow the bonobo way of peace through pleasure.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, come on up here, schoolgirls.

Okay, everybody. And Teja, we're going to do the group shot a little early. Yeah, sit down.

Get onto the bed. Get onto the bed. Get onto the bed. Yeah.

Oh, there you go. You can get over there. Yeah. Yeah, Mon, come on the other leg.

Just on the other leg, Mon. And who else was here? Yeah. Come on up here.

Come on. Yep. Yep. Oh, there's a nun.

Is that a nun here? No, no, it's just a girl with a headband. I thought maybe we were in Catholic school and nuns were teaching or something.

She looks like a nun. Maybe you are a nun. Are you a nun? Or you're just a schoolgirl with a headband.

Hey, schoolgirls. Come on up here. Come on up here. If you can be in a picture,

we're going to do a group picture. Okay. I'm getting smoke in my face. Okay.

And Master Liam, please come to the principal's office. Headmistress is calling you. Master Liam and Teja.

Master Liam and Teja. Here, come sit down. Come sit down. Yeah.

I do. Oh, you look great. Where's my microphone? Who's got my microphone?

Yeah, there it is. Oh, God, oh, God. And who are you? Can I have some sound, please, on this one?

Let's click. Yeah. Here we go. No, you're not crystal yet.

Okay. I know. What do you need? Oh, he's a sound.

Okay. Here we go. Who are you? No, we don't hear anything.

What did you do? Okay. And now turn the sound down. Right.

There we go. Okay. I'm crystal. She's crystal.

Okay. Do you want to do a lap dance? Maybe later. Maybe later.

Okay. Well, we're all up here. We're just about done with the show. You guys should all pile up back there.

You're going to be sitting down. And we're going to do a group shot in a moment. Hold this. Oh.

But I just want to wind up the evening by saying, thank you all for joining us and celebrating the 40th birthday of our good friend, colleague, and the birthday boy,

Master D. And we want to thank all of you who dressed up as school girls and school boys. And we want you to practice the bonobo way.

This is the College of Carnal Knowledge in Bonoboville, brothers and sisters. And look it up. Okay.

This is your homework. Bonobos have just had their genome sequenced. And they are our closest relatives, our kiss and cousins.

Get sex educated. Get stimulated. Watch a little animal sex. Don't have sex with the animals,

but just watch the animal sex. Okay. And yeah, you'll see that the Bonobos use sex to diffuse violent tension,

and they have never been seen killing each other in the wild or captivity. Yeah, that's the Agua speaking. And yeah, sex week at Yale, brothers and sisters.

It's going through changes. So make like Bonobos, not baboons. Okay. Make love, not war.

Yeah. All right. Shoot the gun between your legs. Okay.

Drop bras, not bombs. Right. Shoot films, not people. Right.

Make like Bonobos, not baboons. Make love, not war. Make love to someone you love tonight, even if that someone is you.

I love you. We need to talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else. Okay.

You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Black, your mistress of the airwaves. But my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Black Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences,

specializing in sex therapy over the phone. Anytime you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination,

my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you,

role play for you, fantasize with you, no fantasy is too taboo, and help you with anything, from impotence to exhibitionism,

fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. For more information, call us at 213-291-9497. That's 213-291-9497 anytime you need to talk. You're listening to Radio Suzy 1 on the World Wide Web.