Bastille Day in BonoboVille

Full transcript of Bastille Day in BonoboVille on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

Need to talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else? You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves. But my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy over the phone.

Anytime you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination, my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you, role-play for you, fantasize with you, no fantasy is too taboo, and help you with anything from impotence to

exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. For more information call us at 213-291-9497. That's 213-291-9497 anytime you need to talk. You're listening to Radio Susie One on the World Wide Web and now here she is, Dr. Susan Block.

And the connoisseurs, I will les enfants des sexes, and nous sommes tous l'enfant du sexe. Nous pouvons ou pouvoir n'est pas être des enfants de Dieu ou des enfants de Jésus ou des enfants de Allah, mais nous sommes tous les enfants de sexe.

Oui j'entendre, amen. Oui j'entendre, ah women. Happy Bastille Day. That's enough making you put up with my badly pronounced French of France. French bread, French fries, which aren't really French. French toast, I think that's French. French revolution, French kissing, and French sex.

Say bon, what is French sex, qu'est-ce que c'est? French kissing down below. Yes, yes, that's what's French, you know, and you know what Greek is. The touche, right. But it's really about what, the French revolution, the storming of the Bastille, isn't that sexual? Penetration of the gates of France to protect the precious French from the

British, that's why it was built in the first place in the 1300s. And then it became a prison and you know how we feel about prisons. Storm them! So we love Bastille Day, even though they only released like seven prisoners I think, there weren't very many in there. They say that Marquis de Sade was in there but he wasn't in there. He had just been transferred just a

while before Bastille Day, which was on the 14th of July in 1789. Right around the time of the French Revolution, I mean it was all part of the French Revolution. And it was very violent, I can't say I proved they did, they lynched the governor of the Bastille. But they were doing that with a lot of people, including the beautiful Marie Antoinette. Oh well, we're not going to lynch or

guillotine anybody here but we might spank you with a baguette or something else. But anyway, it was a rebellion against royalty of course, a revolution, more than a rebellion, against the royal prerogative, I mean poor Marie Antoinette. She never said let them eat cake. No. She did spend a lot of money on theatrical kind of presentations, which I have to say I

have to have lots of sympathy for her with that because I like my theatrical presentations too. But I guess there was too much government spending, probably on other things. I have a feeling those theatrical things weren't all that expensive. So the people revolted, kind of like now maybe, I mean occupy that sort of thing, except they really revolted. They really, they

off with their heads, gone, you know, and no more royalty for France. I mean and France was inspired by the United States. I mean it's very fashionable for Americans to hate the French. We're going to talk about that in a little while. But the French were actually our supporters in the revolution, in our revolution, and then we supported them in their revolution

against the British, but how soon we forget. They gave us the Statue of Liberty too, and baguettes and French kissing. And so they, and they got rid of their royalty, unlike the British, whose royalty, you know, still does a lot of drug deals, but and more. But the French royalty's gone pretty much. Of course I have a thing for royalty being

a princess. But Italian, not French, not French. Your people escaped France. But that's another story. We want to talk about France. And things French. And the overthrowing of royalty, except for one very special princess. My first guest. Princess Felicity Jade returns to Mademoiselle.

Vous êtes très jolie, or tu es très jolie, I should say. That's the familiar. I always get confused when you use the familiar and the formal. But you, you look lovely, beautiful, and you're a lovely princess. And I'm not going to guillotine you. I hope not. So what's going on, princess?

Having fun, coming out to LA, shooting some scenes for girlfriends films. Girlfriends. Yes, you are the princess of girlfriends films who love Dan and all those nice people. And so you did some hot lesbian scenes. Yes, I've done two already. I tried to bring India here tonight, but she was getting a brand new car.

You're a fiance. Yes. India summer. India summer would be the season. But she's getting a car for you to have sex in. I get to break it in with her. A push. No. What do you, how do you feel about French stuff? I want to visit France one day. You want to go to France? Yes.

Yes. What do you think when you think of France? Good question. French fries, French champagne. I'd say French kissing. French kissing. Okay. Which you're very good at. Love it. Yes. And, uh, and so right next to you is the lovely, this is an Italian name, but

I feel like I got a guitar here. But hey, you know, we're mixing it up. Bella Luciano. Welcome to France. Thank you. Speak right into the microphone. Get close to it like you're giving it head. I will. Okay. Let's see. Open your mouth. Happy best deal day. Thank you. So I understand you were just with our good friend Eric John.

I was, yes. Yes. Oh, and he said he left you satisfied. Yeah, you know, it's weird. I never would have thought, but it happens. He never would have thought. Just like, yeah, it's just, you have to expect. Because he's such an intellectual. He, you know, he graduated from MIT. He probably speaks French. Probably. I would imagine. Yeah. And so he, he really

gave it to you. Yeah, he did. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. How many times did you come? Twice. Oh, wow. How many times did he come? Twice. Twice. Oh, that's impressive. He's always bragging about how many come shots he can do in one. Exactly. And where was his lovely wife, Vicki Chase, during the Oh, I don't know.

She was getting. I love her. She's so sweet. I've never met her before. Oh, no. Just the hubby. Eric just brings her around when Vicki's gone. Well, he's saving the dessert for later. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm glad he got you over here anyway. Yeah, definitely. Okay. And so are you Italian? I am. You are both sides? I am Italian and

Puerto Rican. Uh-huh. Spicy Nick. No French. No French. No. Unfortunately. Unfortunately. Yeah. For tonight or in general? Both. Yeah. Yeah. You ever celebrate Bastille Day? I haven't, no. No. Yeah. Well, you're going to tonight. Yeah. I got a bigger baguette than Eric right here. Yeah, that's like Eric and a half right there. Yeah. You're looking at it hungrily.

And now the ballerina. Ah, we. Kitty. Kitty twinkle toes. Twinkle toes. Twinkle toes in a twinkle. The little toes. This is for the foot fetishes out there. Yes. Yes, the little toes. Yes. Look at that arch. Yes. Wow. We have kitty twinkle toes pointing and flexing. Ten little lesbians in shoes. Yes, they are lesbians because they're always rubbing

up against each other. And when you get sweaty, they're French kissing. So some of you may recognize Kitty from last week, but I sure didn't. Or not. Because she doesn't look the same. You're now blonde. I didn't recognize her either. Right. Last week she was like dark haired and she had a big bird headdress on like a mohawk bird. And now you're just, you know, going like Marie Antoinette

with long hair. I don't know. I feel white, I guess. French, you know, sort of Caucasian, I guess. Yeah. So you, what's your French background? I'm actually, I do have French in me. My grandpa Well, pretty much my last name, I'm Bettencourt. Or Bettencourt. Grandpère Bettencourt. And have you been to France? Yes, I have. Very briefly though, unfortunately. Paris. I've been to

Paris. Briefly saw the Eiffel Tower and briefly saw the Louvre, unfortunately, and then took on to England. So when was this? Oh, wow. This is 11 years ago. 10, 11. Yeah. Uh-huh. So you didn't have sex in France? Unfortunately, no. So sad. I imagined it. I did. Right. You imagined the Eiffel Tower penetrating the Louvre. Okay.

Okay. Yeah. That sounds awesome. France is just full of sex symbols, all sorts. Brigitte Bardot. I actually think Princess looks a little like Brigitte Bardot, right? Doesn't Princess look like Brigitte Bardot? A little bit. You know, like a slimmer Floridian Brigitte Bardot. She looks very French.

Right. Yeah. Yes. She was a big sex symbol. You know, she is. Brigitte Bardot, you don't? I'm not sure. Oh, it's okay. She was like the Marilyn Monroe of France. She's still alive. Yes. She's into animals now. I mean, she was always into animals, I guess, but before it was human male animals. So this is Susie Brahimi. Oui. Oui. And that's, of course, a French name,

you all know. Yeah, French. Actually, my grandparents and parents actually were in France, so, but I was born and raised in France. Yes. Born and raised. And which part? North of Paris. Leel. Leel. That's like a suburb of Paris. No, actually, it's a big, near actually, Belgium and England. It's a city. Yeah, it's a big city. One million people.

What did you do on Bastille Day? We killed real people. Oh, no, no. Sorry, that's bad training. Actually, it's like 4th of July for you. It's a big fireworks celebration, you know, day off, because like, you know, French people, we don't work too much. Right. Two weeks out of the year. All the days off you can. Yeah, so. You need another one for, but you do. Yeah, we do.

Yeah. You need a lot of them. It's a big celebration. I mean, it's like grilling, celebrating fireworks. The colors, like the same colors, you know, the blue, white and red. But do you talk about politics like we do here on the 4th of July? We often do. Yeah, but it's taboo to talk about politics in France. Really? Yeah. It's very bad.

Oh, okay. I mean, if you want to talk to politics right now, I mean, we can, but it's just going to be a lot of French kissing. We are raised and trained to do only French kissing. Sorry for the Italian, but yeah, we do French kissings. Yeah. Is there a kind of Italian kissing? There's not. I mean.

Sorry, there is not. No, I mean, is there a kind of German kissing? Yeah, with a big sausage. Uh huh. Well, I have a big bread here. All right. Well, you are also representing Bastille Day in LA. Yes, BastilleDayLosAngeles.com. If you want to have more information, it's

tomorrow. Sunday, it's always a good day to celebrate Bastille Day. It's a good day because it's going to be cabaret, French con con. Con con. Yeah. We say can can, you say con con. Okay, we're going to do a little con con in a little while.

Yeah, so some practicing. I'm just excited. But so how do people sign up to go to? Yeah, actually, it's on Kenneth's hand. It's a park called Flacenegas, South Flacenegas. It's going to be from noon till 8 p.m. It's everybody will enjoy it because it's outdoor.

It's for all ages. Yeah, exactly. Unlike this show. Well, I mean, the parents was listening to your show tonight, can bring the kids tomorrow, no problem. Are these the pamphlets? Yeah, actually, yeah, we have, I mean, on the website BastilleDayLosAngeles.com,

you have all the information. It's going to be very, very French, but also French lovers because we have a lot of French lovers in America. We do. I'm one, but there's a lot of French haters. I was hearing from them on my website, as I, you know, on Twitter and stuff,

as I was tweeting about it, like some of my fans, I mean, well, you know, I just hate everything French. Why is that? I mean, France was our ally. It's still, you know, is still our ally and doesn't have royalty. And, you know, is a lot like us and gives us all this great phallic bread.

So why, why is it so fashionable for Americans to hate the French? And for that matter, for French to hate Americans a little bit? I mean, there's a little bit of a French arrogance, I will say. Yeah. But I mean, it's like everybody else, you know,

you just are pride of who you are or where you're coming from. But I mean, we don't take crap from anybody. I think that's the problem. Well, you know, my biggest problem is that in most countries, people speak English. But in France, you guys insist on speaking French, except in Paris,

where you won't let us speak French. You know, it hurts too much. But I mean, America becomes actually my second country. So I mean, I'm in love with you people. So I'm in love with France. And, you know, I mean, I mean, there was just a movement in this country

a while ago to change French fries to freedom fries. You know, that was kind of crazy. Politics again. Yes, politics, right? That was during the war, though. That's the idiot. That was Bush years.

Idiots, right? Idiots. Idiots. Idiots. Yeah, in Washington. There was a second Gulf War, I think, because we French, we didn't believe that it was necessary to go back over there.

Right. And who was right? Yeah, there was a fried people. Okay, let's give it up to Belgium. They created French fries. Okay, I was raised next to Belgium. I can tell you the best.

Nobody's you notice no one's giving it up to Belgium. Well, because people don't care about. Yeah, Marco Polo brought it over from China again. Yeah. So I want to introduce Minette Chocolat.

Minette Chocolat. Chocolat. Ah, bonsoir. Joyeux qu'à tous jouir.

Merci. Ah, so tu parles français très bien. No, I heard her. She's by the way, Minette is one of our therapists, okay,

at the Dr. Susan Block Institute. Just in case you need some therapy, bone sex, webcam therapy. We got it all.

And we're starting sex therapy. How about that? You know what that is? Sexting.

Yeah, texting. The question is, Minette, can you do it in French? Yes, she can. I heard her.

I listened to it. So all the French speaking people, Canada, French Canadians, French people, everywhere in the world, they can text you

and talk to you. Yeah, she knows dirty words too. In French? A few.

A few, yeah. Looking forward for those words. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

We got to get there. We have some absinthe to help that along. So from France. Yeah, from France.

Right, right, right, right. And, well, is it made in France? I think it's. It's made in France.

It is. Oh, awesome. Absente absinthe. Absente.

Absente absente. Something like that. Anyway, it's the elixir of French creativity. Toulouse-le-trec, who we have represented over to my left,

was, didn't he drink a lot of absinthe? He was going crazy by drinking it, actually. He had a little too much. A little bit of anything bad is good.

But you see what he painted, huh? Yeah. So it wasn't all that bad. And he was also like a dwarf, crippled, or something,

and in a lot of pain. And ugly. He had a lot of problems. He was an ugly Frenchman.

Yeah. You know? So, hey, let the guy drown his sorrows in absinthe. Why not?

All right. So we're going to have a look. Maybe we should can can before absinthe. Just in case.

We're going to do a little can can. Teja is my lovely producer. And she looks very French tonight. And she's prepared a can can in the traditional fashion,

which I understand with all due respect, well, one aspect of the traditional fashion that I don't think you will be representing at the Bastille Day in LA tomorrow.

And that is that the can can dancers don't wear panties. No. They don't wear panties. Your girls are going to wear panties.

They're going to wear panties and they have layers. Of course, the dress is layers, you know. Yeah. Well, they always had the layers of dress.

Yes. But if you were an eagle eye voyeur, you could catch a glimpse of something more shocking than stocking. Yeah.

I mean, this was a big deal. And, you know, like, well, I mean, not that you'd see very much because the French are very hairy. And they didn't shave back then.

So I'm sure you just saw this big, like, like a beaver. And as the lady's going, wow, it must have been, it was revolutionary. And when did the can can get going?

Like, oh, it's a late 19th century. 19th century. Yeah. And it was actually forbidden, actually.

A lot of women get in jail for that. That's well, because they're, you know, revealing their beavers right there. Right.

And you know anything about can can? We should know. Anybody know any can can trivia? Can can can can can can.

But it was part of the did the cabaret. Yeah, I was going to say like the Mulan Rouge. And the first one was the chanoir. Yes.

There was the first cabaret ever, you know, in Paris. The black cat. And then that's how sort of the crazy horse paris also kind of derived from that can can. Yeah.

And we have actually in France, if you go into Paris, and maybe for princess, make sure you go to the red discreet. It's called the Pigale. The Pigale, right.

Exactly. It's it's our red discreet. And you will have actually all the initial original French cabaret, Mulan Rouge, crazy horse, you know.

And you will enjoy it. It's it's not only beautiful, but it's also entertaining. Well, they have the original French cabaret and they have a lot of just hot strippers.

I will say this. I do remember this from France. Ready? I'm so excited.

They're girls dancing like if you go with, you know, like if you go to a retail fashion show here in the US, you have the mannequin posing. But in France, instead of having mannequins,

they actually have live girls just topless, just, you know, just kind of exotic dancing. I can't don't remember where, but I do remember that. I want to see that.

That's pretty awesome. Yeah, we do we do a lot of topless. We're not afraid to show any pose. Right. All over the beach.

Yeah. Everything. Yeah. It's totally cool.

It's French nudity. Right. There is. Is there a phrase for that?

It's just French topless. I mean, you can translate. Yeah. French bathing suit.

Is that like a topless bathing suit? Mon mon mon mon monokini. Monokini. Monokini.

Instead of bikini, you get two pieces. Monokini. You have only one pieces. It's the bottom one monokini.

Okay. Yeah. Monokini. Without the top.

Now I just saw a flash of a very French looking teja. Back there. Teja, we're ready for our con con. Con con.

Maybe she doesn't know what con con. Can can. Okay. And she's wearing a beret that actually I got in France.

When Max was hiding out in France. Look at look at this here. Can we?

Who's shooting now? Nobody. Ah, here you go. There she is.

Très jolie. Actually, yeah, she looks like the girl on the on the Bastille day for tomorrow. She does. Yeah.

Did you get inspired by that? Actually, we get inspired by you now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

All right. So I think we're ready for our con con. I don't know if you want to grab a microphone for a sec here and just explain that this is completely spontaneous.

Yeah, I just had the girls take their panties off and get ready to kick. Okay. Everybody's going to kick. All right.

So so everybody can come up here. I guess all the can can girls. All the can can. Rise.

That would be Princess Felicity Jade and Bella. Luciano Bella and Kitty twinkle toes. Oh, she's putting on her toe shoes for this. And I'm going to just sit back and and observe this amazing experience of.

Is he going to be over over French con con music? Of course. Yes, yes, we have a complete orchestra here on con. Coming all the way from France.

They're sitting in the orchestra pit over there. They look very French, by the way. Yes. Yes.

There's a lot of Frenchness going on here. And okay. So now he's just putting on a skirt because you got to have a skirt, I guess, to do the can can. Yeah, but built in panties over is going to have to fold inside.

Oh, you have panties. That's no fun. That's not French twinkle toes. It's not very French.

You don't want to use my that other little skirt I gave you that that white one. We're going to get the white one. So now who's got who else has panties? Oh, you have panties.

That's not very French. Well, we're trying to be authentic. You're exactly all we're going to chop some heads. You know, right?

Your teen style or at least whack you with a baguette. Like your style. Yeah. Yeah.

So where are your where's your family? I'd like to give them a baguette. My grandparents were Algeria. Algeria was a French colony.

Oh, of course, until 1962. Right, right. And what is that wonderful movie that was made about Algiers and old. But old Algiers?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a really great movie. I don't remember anything about it, except that it was great. And black and white.

Like in one Italian director. Oh, here we go. Princess. Oh, yeah.

Play with my baguette. Oh, you want to see my titties? It's very French to show your nipples. Monochini.

Yeah. Well, not quite. But yeah, can I see yours? Oh, very nice.

Look at that. Princess. Beautiful. Wee-wee.

Wee-wee. Wee-wee. Bon bon. Hold on.

Wee-wee means something different in US, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, wee-wee, right. Well, it's very French to be topless.

Where's the microphone? Where did that go? It's over there. Can I have that mic?

So, Princess, I have you on my website now. It's one of the most beautiful women in the world. Oh, definitely. Thank you.

That's right. You're one of the best. Not many women are on that website with that title. Top women.

Not even Brigitte Bardot. Yes, Brigitte Bardot is the other one. This one. Yeah, she does.

You do look like Brigitte Bardot. Very like Brigitte Bardot. You've got to have a look at her. Yeah.

I'll have to go with that. Yes. Oh, definitely. And so, now, here we go.

Yeah. Well, all right, all right. So, we're all set. We've got our little skirts on.

So, ladies, I think you're going to participate. Are you ready? Have you ever can-can before? I know, I have.

You've never can-can. Okay, you seem like you have the shoes. And have you ever can-can? No, I haven't.

Okay. Well. No, I don't want to be a king for a bit. Oh, off they go.

Oh, look at these lovely shoes. Wow, the shoe fetishists are going to be excited about these. All right. So, you've never can-can?

It's just kicking out, I think. Looks easy, isn't it? Okay. Right there.

You're looking great. All right, here they go. Music? Where's the music?

Wow. All right. Somebody's going to get hurt. Go girls, can-can.

That's what I'm talking about. Here we are. At Dr. Susan Block speaking in the room room. Prading Bastille Day.

Shwaya Khattur Juiye. Shwaya George Bastille. They fire a L.A.B.R. can cannon in the traditional fashion without panties. Let's hear it from you, Susan.

Wow, let's hear it. They fire a desu. Well, I thought that was great. That was fun.

I mean, I only saw it from behind, but I thought it was not. How did it look from in front? Amazing. I think we're going to create a real French con con here in L.A.

Right, right. This is a French con con. Yeah. This is true French con con.

How did you like that? It was fun. It was fun. I'm awake now.

Okay. Good. All right, so now I think we're going to have the ritual drink of Bastille Day. Right?

I mean, this is the French. Bastille Day is just supposed to do all the French things at all the different periods of France. It doesn't really matter.

So this is from, you know, the times of Toulouse La Trek and Boz Lerman. No, that's that director. What did he do?

He did that. Moulin Rouge. Moulin Rouge, yeah. Yeah, he did that movie.

And didn't it have a lot of absent? Have you ever had absent? I believe I tried it once a couple of years ago. You did.

I mean, it's not required. I can't force you. I don't want you to feel you have to drink anything. But would you like to try it?

I'll try it. Yes. Well, you sound very eager. Okay.

Have you had absent? I'm drinking some. Oh, you're already having your absent. How's it affecting you?

It feels good. It just really mellows you and you're calm, right? You're calm. All right.

Except when you're dancing. Well, not right now. My heart's beating really fast. Yeah, yeah.

So how'd you like the can can? Con con con con. I can do it again. It reminds me.

I spent a lot of time in France at Cannes. Cannes, yeah. I just came back. I just came back from Cannes.

You don't say con because the British say con. And Cannes is what the Americans say. And that's not right either. You have to say Cannes, which is a challenge in Cannes.

Well, you... Cannes. Very good. You could go.

And that's where they have a wonderful film festival. Yeah, I just came back from there. But also it used to be the spot where they used to do the hot door. Hot door?

Right. Remember? Which is the the the porn film festival. The porn awards, yeah.

Right. No, actually, there was a big conflict because they were doing that during the Cannes Film Festival. And those pretty people from Cannes Film Festival

they say, we don't want porn people. You know, sometimes those people at the Cannes Film Festival can be full of their con cons. You know.

We actually started the press club. We did the Cannes Press Club. Cannes Press Club, right. Well, that's okay.

You have the Avian Award now. Well, yeah. Well, do they go to France? No, they in Vegas.

Right. Well, no, I know that. But they have a Paris Las Vegas. So they may be going through there. Yeah.

You're up for an Avian Award. Or you were, right? I have been up for three or four. Three or four.

For French kissing? Well... What a French curve. Partly Best Lesbian Sex Scene.

So it involves a lot of French kissing. Oh, there's a lot of French kissing there. Both the top and the bottom. And the back.

Have you ever rid the Sybian? Yes, I have. You have. When did you do that?

I did it for azionni.com and as well as Howard Stern. And did you come? I did. How do you feel about a Sybian as opposed to...

I prefer my little mini bullets. But a Sybian works. Okay. Have you ever tried a Sybian?

I haven't. Maybe you will tonight. That's the only act that can follow Eric Jawa. Okay, so we have some absinthe here.

And look at the way she's doing. Could somebody take a picture of her making the absinthe here? Hang on. Let me just...

And that's the real original way. This is a little cooking show now. So how are we making this here? We pour in absinthe in the cup and then I pour cold water over the ice cube

into the absinthe and it turns from a see-through green to the opaque... Or maybe not opaque. And does drinking it make you talk like that? And then you set it on fire.

Oh, wow. You just set it on fire. See all the elements. Okay, so who's going to be the first?

This is quite a bit of absinthe here. No, it's mostly water. It's mostly water. I can't drink it straight otherwise.

All right. You'll die. The absinthe that is made with warm wood. Petite warm wood.

Yeah. So it is slightly hallucinogenic. You're going to try. She's very gay.

All right. No, you're not allowed until you take your outfit off. Well, I mean, how much... Get naked.

Naked. Naked is the word. Thank you. But you did it the real way and I appreciate that.

It's the old-fashioned way. I love absinthe. You're a very classy man. I bumped into the legendary backpack of AJ.

Oh my God. I think I'm cursed. Okay, who's next? Now these...

Am I giving this to you now? Yeah, it's also made with the anise. Anise? Anise.

Anise. Anise. Anise. Anise.

Does that have something to do with anise? Yeah, it could be. Well, you drink enough of it. Okay, so who wants to try?

Would you like to try? So it has a slight licorice or a sambuco, ouzo... Anise. And we have the pastis.

Yeah, it's exactly the same flavor. Did you taste yours? No, I was waiting for the ladies. Oh, we're gonna toast together?

In my country, we do. We all have. We have enough for everyone. Ladies first.

Or actually, maybe I'm supposed to have the one that has the words on it. That's the one. That's the one. You got the right one.

Here's yours. You got yours. Stir your sugar in there. Okay.

And one's mine? No, no. Okay, so, you know, they say the French are the inventors of French toast. No.

Sorry, no. No, no. Who is? The Belgium.

The Belgium's also? I think it's Swedish. Yeah, but you know what we... Okay, now you want to hear the story about the French toast.

No, no, I don't. I want to make a toast so that we can start drinking. So can we have a toast in French from one of the French speakers? To the horses, to the stairs, to the women, and everything that can jump on it.

Wow. Is that lovely? That's amazing. It's nice.

Isn't that great? It tastes good. Where's the microphone? Merci.

Where did the microphone go? Even in France, they won't allow you to drink more than three drinks in a club. Toulouse de la Trac, who was always drinking it. Yeah, but they changed the formula.

The one that Toulouse de la Trac used to drink was very, very dangerous. Now the way we drink it now, it's more settled. Right, they brought down the amount of wormwood that's in there. The Swiss still make it the old way, and it's terrible.

And they see painkillers funds everywhere. It's Swiss. This is real... This is real.

This is real. Absence. This is real absence, right? It's...

Can you tell by how it tastes? Not... Yes. Well, they actually do make it in different flavors.

There's cinnamon. The Germans use cinnamon and wintergreen in spearmint. It's almost like different flavors because of different... And France, though, actually makes one out of like a coffee liqueur.

It's called black cat. Black cat. Yeah, so it's like... Le chinois.

Le chinois because of the first cabaret. Ah, the chinois, the black cat. All right. So how do you say Sibion in French?

Sibion. Sibion. And orgasm is just orgasm. Orgasm.

I mean, all the good words are really the same. How do you say fuck? Bezé. Bezé.

Oh, right. You know, I used to sign... Bezé is also kiss, right? That's so confusing.

Because I would sign emails like kisses, I thought. Bezé kissing, and then people would laugh and go, Oh, you want to fuck me? If you do Bezu, it's kisses.

Right. But Bezé, it's the same for fuck. What can I say about the vowel? I mean, excuse my French, yeah.

Oh, excuse your French. Right, right. Bezé, fuck it. Why are the French considered the experts in love?

You're asking me the question. Or you are, I don't know, you tell me. Is it the language? It's the language.

Is it? I think it's the accent, the language. If you're going to hold the microphone, can you hold it for her? I think it's because they take their time.

French take their time? Are you kidding? I can't even wait. No, no, no, no.

They're doing it in a second. They will drop their drawers in two seconds. They're very quick. But they're quick.

They take their time, pleasuring others. Well, I mean... They have the time. But they spend so much time at dinner and lunch, you know?

I mean, they spend hours eating. So they really have to have a lot of quick sex. No, so you can't get a check when you go... No, no, you know.

So they're spending so much time eating. Not very much time working. But they're eating and some sex, you know, lots of time. But I think you mentioned a very good point.

We like to take our time for everything, and including making love. Oh, well. Merci beaucoup.

Thank you. I don't know about that. All I know is we had this wonderful French girl who's kind of my daughter, but not really.

Well, she's really Eman. Eman, yeah, Eman. She's French. Well, she's a sporting friend.

She's Moroccan. Moroccan. Yeah, but she's French. Yeah, she's French.

And she was very, very sexual. And she was a beautiful girl, and she would have sex just instantly if she liked how a guy looked.

She would just have sex with him. At the drop of a bucket. And once, really, really. She's very French.

She'd be down on that baguette. There she was on. Suck in that Eiffel Tower. I'll tell you.

And so one day, I think, I don't know, who asked her, but why do you do this? And she says, for the pleasure. French toast.

Yeah, for the pleasure. And I mean, but instantly. Oh, the other way. Sorry, she's playing with the baguette.

Yeah, play with the baguette. You look good with that baguette. Yeah, well, everyone can have a baguette. We have enough.

And I think they're too dry to eat anyway. So play with it. So you might as well moisten them up with your pussies. It's called the French juice.

Right. The French juice. The French juice. They're so dry, you know.

But yeah. OK, so I think now we're all going to. Is it legal to have sex with a baguette? It's cooking show now.

It's a French cooking show. Yeah. OK, everybody stroke their baguette now. Ah.

Oh, wow. You're doing the French way, yeah. Oh, the French way is like up here. No, it's two hands.

Isn't the French way to have one hand with upset? And the other one with a cigarette. But then how do you stroke if you have it? You get a girl to do that for you.

It's called the hand job. The hand job. So Derek in Florida wants to know how do I not feel ashamed about having a foot fetish? Who's this?

Don't. And that reminds me, we have a webcam guest. That's hot. That's good advice.

Where is she? OK. Who is she? What?

Never got a hold of her. She didn't. We called no response. Really?

All right. OK, well, who was it? Aiden Aspen. Hi.

She's been tweeting and retweeting about doing it. So I don't know. But Aiden, if you're there, you know, Skype into us. But in the meantime, Derek.

She was worried about all those baguettes that were here. Oh, yeah. Derek, is he on the line? Can we hear from him?

Don't be afraid of foot fetish. Oh, my God. Here, you have a microphone? Because you have a French pedicure.

Can we hear Derek? It might be. I don't know if you can hear it close up, but I have like rattlesnakes.

You have the greatest feet. Everyone shows feet. Oh, yeah. French pedicure everywhere.

Look at those toes. Oh, my God. Look at it. So why are you calling the French pedicure and French manicure?

French pedicure. Right. Well, none of us seem to have it. Oh, do you have a French pedicure?

Nobody has it. Because it's, you know, very... Let's make Derek call. Hey, Nori.

We can't get the... Here, soles of the feet now. Oh, yeah. Okay.

And point. Relivate. Why is ballet French? Ballet is this whole French thing.

Ballet, the terminology is all in folk. I guess they invented ballet. Or did the Belgians do that? No, not all.

It's a French one. Petit jeté, grand jeté. Call us back. And you were going to jeté, you know, the ballet.

Yes. Joffrey ballet. They're kind of French. You know what we call the male ballet?

French by way of New York, right? The man ballet, you know, it's le rat, le petit rat. Yes.

The rat. What does that mean? The French rat. I mean, it's a little rat.

A little rat. A male dancer. Varashlikov was a rat. I know.

I'm... Here we call faggots. It's tiny, you know. Varashlikov is a rat.

He is, because he's tiny, but he's fucking awesome. No, I can't say I'm a dream. I was thinking he was a rat.

Supporter of all of it. It would show me its sense, because there's a need for direction. But jokes are jokes.

No, it's on the ballerina sense, yeah. On the ballerina sense. For the ballerini. In the ballet.

Oh, the prima ballerina, or, but in his term, he would be a prima ballerino. Primo.

Primo. It's Italian. Boo. And you know, there's a lot of guys

that have a fetish for ballet dance. Si, davvero. Yes. But no.

It's French. It's French, but it's Italian. It's a perigoroso. Perigoroso.

Uh-oh, we're going into the wrong language. Oh, sorry. That's for Columbus. I guess having high arches,

or, you know, kind of... And the pain. I think there are some... We have some cameras on these toes here.

I love that. Some sadistic fetishes. Yes, rub yourself. Rub yourself.

Think about how you're hurting that. And it's just beautiful, actually. You know? It's just a very beautiful thing.

Are we getting? Yeah. Yeah, look at that. Are you holding your bag?

I think the whole sheet... Oh, I like how you're holding your bag. Stroking your bag. Struck.

Subconsciously. I love the ass crack, too. Oh, where's that? That's really awesome.

That was Greek. That was a great act. That's a little Greek thing. You know, we speak a little Italian.

We have a little Greek accent. That's a little Greek in her. It's all part of... European community.

No, it is. The European community. Right, right, right, right. We're all kind of melding into a global village.

All right. So back to the Sybian. Sybian? The Sybian.

Sybian, Sybian. So we have two Sybian veterans here. And one... Now you squirted on the Sybian last week.

Last week, yeah. You did. That was quite an experience. Yes.

Do you care to relate that, to describe that experience? Pretty much the bunny next to me, I just told her I highly, highly recommend

you get out of my way, because it's going to get messy. And she's like, no, no, no. It's okay.

She was a bunny, a playboy bunny. Yes. But she seemed a little timid, and I'm like, really, really,

I'm highly suggesting get out of the way, because it's going to get dirty, but in a good way, or bad way. Oh, it's very clean.

It was just female ejaculation. How do you say that in French? It's not dirty. Ejaculation feminine.

Ejaculation feminine. Or squirting. How would you say squirting? How do you say d?

There is. Actually, we're using the American one, the English word for squirting, even in French.

You say squirting. Or you say also ejaculation. No, ejaculation, but we say squirting. Squirting.

Oh, see yourself. Ejaculation. We copy each other, you know. Okay.

So are you ready to, you don't have to squirt. Or do you ever squirt? I don't know.

You don't know. Oh. She brings the umbrella. How long have you been in the porno world?

Almost a year. Oh, that's it. Okay. Well, you have much to learn and discover.

So now you're, you know, Eric, John wore you out. So he said. So the only thing to revive you

is a Sybian. And that might mean that he just, as Teja said, warmed you up. So here we go.

Are you ready to ride? Okay, ladies. You can help her out here. Do you want a baguette?

You want a baguette to insert? Choose your French baguette wisely. You want it? Besides, it doesn't matter.

Okay. Give it in France. And you should just take off your, oh, look, I love the way you've got the baguette

against the dildos. Where is this? Emphasizing the phallic thing, you know. Every culture has their phallic symbols.

Yeah. And France certainly has an abundance. Because it was about power. Yes.

Well, isn't it still? Teja. Princess. Oh, princess.

Princess. Oh, my God. Princess. She's going to choose her baguette.

Princess. Just looking at princess, looking at dildos is just fine. I'm going to go to the bathroom.

I'll be back. Ryan. Okay. So, uh, so I think we need

a little more French music for, for Bella to strip off her slip. All right. Okay.

So a little more, anything French, anything. Do you want me to sing in French, too? Okay, you can sing.

Oh, God. I think the upset is kicking in. You got it. Mademoiselle, un amour.

Yeah, I'm cute. She's going to have an attachment. Très belle musique. De ma première communion.

Mademoiselle, mon bonheur. Une étrange commune de fleurs. Don't on ne saurait pas le nom. Mademoiselle, mon avenir.

Do we need a condom? Do we need a condom for that? Do we need a condom for that? Oh, si joli.

Yes, condom, please. I'll put it on. Oh, princess. Put it on, put it on with the French,

put it on with the French kids. Yes, yes, yes. You're supposed to be doing a strip tease right now. Right over here.

A French one. If you didn't know, your job. Relax. Mademoiselle, mon avenir.

Do we need a condom for that? Do we need a condom for that? Mademoiselle, mon avenir. Mademoiselle, mon bonheur.

Do we need a condom for that? Do we need a condom for that? Very beautiful. Bravo.

Let's hear it for Mademoiselle. Mademoiselle. Luciano. All right, and she'll go over here.

Let's open up the baguettes. The baguettes. Actually, you don't need this. All right.

You wanted an attachment. You got an attachment. All right, so are you going to hold the microphone for her? I will be holding it.

You will be the microphone holder, and you are now going to ascend the Sybian. Yes, yes.

She wants you to ride with her. Oh, but then you're... Okay. You're going to both try at the same time?

Well, yeah. The only thing is when you do that, we can't see because everybody is squished against each other.

Look at those pretty faces. Well, when I did it on Howard Stern, like one of us was riding it, and the other one was just behind...

Oh, you could get behind her. Whatever Howard Sperm does, you know... Whatever Howard Sperm did,

it's what we were doing. Whatever he does, we do better, right? It really doesn't matter since he won't have us on his program.

All right. She just wants to come from watching. Okay, so... And the lovely Kitty

has taken off her clothing. It's the double pleasure. And it's being inserted. Yes, it's good.

It's very good. I feel overdressed. Yes, you are. I am going to pull out my beautiful...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And here we go. Brothers and sisters. Oh, okay. We are going to turn it on now.

Princess, my heart. Here we go. Operating. Yes.

Oh, that's intense. There she goes. Oh, my God. You take that, Howard.

Exactly. We double it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

I love it. I'm singing. Yeah. Okay. Tweet about this, Minette.

Friends, friends. It's a Marseillean. Marseillean, yes, we... Sing for us, please.

This is so intense. Beautiful. I can feel it, right? And I'm just kneeling beside them.

No, yeah. Wow, what's going on? Oh, you're sweating. Sweating.

Sweating. Get her face. Beautiful. Beautiful.

She was sweating. She wasn't even on it. Whoa. Okay.

That was great. Your ride got aborted. Oh, I missed it. Okay.

Let's do it again. Actually, her home Bella's ride got aborted. Oh, no. We need to get a new condom.

Please, explode the condom. Whoo. The hood. Well, let's hear it for Bella.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. She's sweating. I didn't have my umbrella.

Sweating. I don't want to like... It sounds like a French weather. It's raining.

She's just irrepressible. It's too much fun. It's just ejaculate. There was a feminine ejaculation.

Sweating. That's what was going on here. We didn't see it from here. It was slight.

It was sort of a... It was a feminine ejaculation. No, I don't know if it was timid. It was pretty brazen.

But it wasn't too timid. But it was not... It was like a bubbling brook. As opposed to a geyser.

A bubbling brook. It was a bubbling brook. You put it very nicely. Very Frenchly.

Very Frenchly. Okay. So we did not get to have Bella experience the full...

experience here. But now... Okay, so we need a... She's very good at this.

Who's controlling the cibion? Well... Ah. Ah.

I'm the controller. Right. So right now I think we do have a caller on the line, do we?

Is he there? Do we drop him? While we're switching the... We have a little female ejaculation folks.

Nothing that can be cleaned up with a few baby wipes. There you go. Be very French about it.

The French maid. Wipe your crotch. Wipe your crotch. It's the French way.

The French way. The douche. The douche. The douche.

The douche. I think you need a French maid to clean that mess. You need a French maid to clean that mess.

Well, we have a French maid except she doesn't have a French maid's outfit on. But, okay. So do we have Derek?

Derek or Mike? Who is it? Derek or Mike? Derek. Now you were talking about a foot fetish

and now we have a lot of naked people. But we had a bunch of feet out before and so we're totally into foot fetish.

You too. You too. Very well said. Do you have a question or something?

How do I get over being embarrassed? How do you get over being embarrassed? Well, like the hottest women in the world like foot fetishes

because we all need a foot rub because we all wear high heels. Right. We all have feet.

And also they're all cute little girls. And we're running around and we're dancing. We're doing the can-can. And so after a good can-can

you need a good foot rub and after a good foot rub you do it the French way and you give...

you suck on the toes. I would say that is French foot sex. Sucking on toes. Is that what you like to do? Just guessing.

Yeah. Yeah, I thought so. You don't have to be ashamed, brother Derek. Don't be ashamed.

Say I am a foot fetishist and I am not ashamed. Say that. Say it.

Say that. I am a foot fetishist and I am not ashamed. Yes!

Brother Derek. Yeah, joyeux. Joyeux, joyeux, bravo. Don't cry.

That's great, Derek. That's the first step, just say that every day. It's like an affirmation. And it's true, there is nothing to be ashamed.

Don't say that at the office. You're not a murderer, you're not a war criminal. You're not even one of those Wall Street guys that's stealing all our money.

You're just a foot fetishist and I don't mean just, I just mean you're not doing anything wrong. Be French.

Be French, what does that mean? It means do whatever you want, whenever you want. All right. Do whatever you want, whenever you want.

That was French. Say French accent in a beret and a baguette and then you can have all the foot you want. It's a beautiful thing in France.

Beautiful, all those beautiful feet. Yes. I like the princess feet. I should be showing my feet.

Do you like bare feet, stocking feet? What kind of feet do you like? What do you like? After he took the pledge, he left.

Exactly. I think he embraced the French. He did, he took the pledge and he freaked out. But it is a step forward, brother Derek.

It is, even though you're a rude dude. Excuse his French. Step forward. Whoa, whoa, okay.

So now we are ready. Oh, look at this. That's French fitty. We've got a real representation

of foot fetish going on right here. That's right. We've got Kitty. Twinkle toes.

Sucking on her twinkle toes. Kitty twinkle toes. After squirting all over the Sybian is now sucking her twinkle toes

for Derek, even though he hung up. Full circle. So Derek, you know, we got your foot in mind. Okay.

Okay, everybody's in on the picture. Let's do one more foot sucking picture. I think everybody should, French keys, that's feet now.

Yes, okay. And now we have a Sybian ride to attend to. Who's riding next?

You can be near her, but don't push her off again. Okay. Okay. You can touch her.

Let her experience the Sybian. I know, I know, I know. You can't talk without the microphone.

She's got the microphone here. Don't be so French. See? There's nothing wrong with being French, man.

I know, and it's a French who said that to you. Yes. So now, Bella, the Sybian awaits you

for its second date. And this time, what is this? Round number two. What is this? A bunch of paper towels or napkins?

Second party. Second party. All right, here we go. So now Bella is going to

ascend the Sybian one more time. And this time, you're just going to have Sybian yoga and experience it

to the fullest. Here we go. Egalité. Fraternité.

Sex. Sex? I like sex. I like sex.

We are all children of sex. We are all children of sex. That's what Jackie Gleeson would say. Can you speak French when you do that now?

Oh, that's your nipples. Inspire her. And speak French. I wish I could.

I think we have to have another Marseille or some other French. Frère Jacques. Frère Jacques.

Dormez-vous. Dormez-vous. Sonne les matines. Sonne les matines.

Ding ding dong. Ding ding dong. Frère Jacques. Frère Jacques.

Dormez-vous. Dormez-vous. Sonne les matines. Sonne les matines.

Ding ding dong. Ding ding dong. I think she's going to come because we're singing French. Stop singing for one minute.

Beautiful. Are they spanking with a French back kit? Thank you. That's the best.

Une fécée avec la baguette française. Ah oui. It's spanking. Avec la baguette française.

You know what time is in France, by the way. It's early enough so French people can watch it and look at it and listen to it. Oui, oui.

Belle Jacques. Frère Jacques. Dormez-vous. Dormez-vous.

Sonne les matines. Sonne les matines. Ding ding dong. Ding ding dong.

Dormez-vous. Elle va éjaculer. Oui, oui, oui, oui. Oui.

Oh my God. Oui. Oui, c'est oui. Oui, oui, oui.

Vive la pastille. Vive la pollution. Oh, oui, oui, oui. Go, Sibyain.

Oh, I better turn this down. Sibyain a fait son travail. Sibyain did its work. Oh, nice.

Well, trust me. Show that booty. It's pink. Yeah, look at how it's spanked with the baguette.

C'est très français. C'est le Bastille Day, right? Your Bastille. Okay, we're celebrating.

That's French fetish. There's always a fetishistic way to celebrate any holiday. Okay, and you can find it out here

on the Dr. Susan Block Show. Woo. Do it. Do it.

All right. Well, we've had our Sybian rides unless Princess wants to ride. Yes, she does. Le Sybian, le Sybian, le Sybian.

Natasha. With a cigarette. Right, with a cigarette. Natasha is on the phone in Miami.

Hello, Natasha. Let's say hello to Natasha. She wants to know why there's so much controversy over there being proof

of the G-spot and squirting, which is true. There keep being these studies done to say there is no G-spot.

And yet, all these women have a G-spot. We have to be inspired by Bastille Day and the Revolution

and assert the existence of our G-spots. That's my opinion. The price of the G-spot.

I told you it was good political. Right. Okay, so Natasha, are you there? I'm here. Hi.

Natasha is in Florida. Isn't Princess from Florida? I do live in Florida. Miami Beach.

That's like two hours from me. Well, good. You guys should get together. Okay.

We should meet up at Hall of the Beach. Why is it that they are still debating this when it clearly exists? Thank you.

Merci beaucoup. The G-spot. We have one. I have one. You have one. Obviously.

Well, not every woman knows how to find it. And maybe not every woman has one, I guess. Princess.

We got some G-spot going on here. We got Princess just taking off her clothes. Wow. Look at this beauty here.

Wow, look at her. You're right. There is a G-spot and they just want to say it doesn't exist just like, you know, I mean,

they used to call women nymphomaniacs. They just want to say that women just aren't as sexual as we really are.

And I think they like to say, hey honey, just don't worry about finding your G-spot. It doesn't even exist.

It's just the invention of porn stars and sex therapists. That's what those studies say and they're ridiculous.

They're stupid studies, don't believe them and just keep asserting your G-spot and write letters to the editor. Do you think girls with bigger clits

have more clit or G-spots accumulation? Well, certainly if you have a big clit. There's more on the outside.

Yeah, but you know, here's the thing. The clit is the outside of the G-spot. It's all one organ. Which is, the clit

is on the outside and then the underside of the clit inside of the vagina is the G-spot. So really, some people,

some women, come from clit stimulation in their G-spot. And that's what you experience, right?

Yeah, that's mine. Well, some women come from clitorial, vaginally and amily because they're just so sensitive.

Well, we come all cons a ways, baby. But yeah, I mean, there's certainly an inner part of the clitoris

that is the G-spot that not everyone's is going to be as big as everyone else is. Just like you say, Princess, sometimes you have a big clit or big labia

and not everyone has big clit, big labia and not everyone has a big G-spot. I don't think size has to do with it or the tiniest clit you've ever seen.

But this is what I want to know. Have you found that once a woman has squirted that her

pussy now becomes more receptive and she can come more easily and continue to squirt more easily from the beginning of her life? Yes, Sister Natasha.

And that might be one reason you're so into your G-spot is because your clit is not that big. So you go more for the G-spot

because your G-spot might be bigger. Maybe the body of your clitoral G-spot structure there is inside.

So that's why you're more G-spot oriented. I think we all have G-spots just like we all have clits and we all have labia. It's just like some people

some women don't have big labia. Some women don't have big G-spots. Some women don't have big clits. So wherever you got the most

area is probably the area to stimulate the most. You know, just because it's easier. You got more area there.

I guess. But Natasha, thank you for calling. Have you ever ridden a Sybian? I have never ridden a Sybian.

Well, it can get your G-spot baby. Princess is going to ride it without the... Oh, Princess is going to ride the Sybian.

Oh, God. It's going to be dirty. It's going to be good. Can I handle the controls?

I'm a little on the sensitive side. Well, you're a control freak. You can. You're an experienced Sybianite.

So I'll just I'll just enjoy the ride and play with my baguette. But you're going to have to say all the French

expression you know. Oh, look at that. French toes, French keys. So Natasha, thank you.

I'm going to watch Princess ride the Sybian now. Thank you and keep in touch. And keep on...

Do you squirt, by the way? We'll have to find that out next week. All right. Yeah, go for the G-spot, go for the clip.

Go for whatever works. Some women come from their nipples. You have no power. We have power, baby.

You just have to turn us on. Allons enfants de la patrie. Princess Felicite. Oh, she's going to talk.

She's sighing. The French side. I want French moaning. Spank me with your breadstick.

But in French. How do you say spank me with breadstick. Spank me with your breadstick.

Spank me with your breadstick. No. Don't say it slow, I'm trying to copy it. Don't do it with the baguette.

There's no way in how I'm going to pull that off. Exactly, that's why I'm here. Don't do it with the baguette. You don't do it with the baguette.

I'm doing the talk. Okay, say it slow and I'll try to copy you. Don't do it with the baguette. Okay, we're going to make it easy.

Done. Face me. Face me. Face me.

Face me. All right, Princess said, spank me in French. Yeah. Woohoo.

Don't do it with the baguette. Make it easy with the baguette. And what was the last part? Baguette, baguette.

Baguette. You know the baguette, you know that one, the one that's spanking you right now. Okay, let's turn this off.

Or if you want to go even more fetish, it's puni moi. It's punish me. Puni moi.

Puni moi. Puni moi. Puni moi. Avec la baguette.

I think we're going to have some color from France soon. I'm telling you. We've got Brigitte Bardot.

Right in the Sybian. Right now. He's on a Sybian, trying to get a baguette broken.

You broke the bread. You broke the baguette. How do you say broke the bread? Broke the baguette.

Don't worry about it. You broke the baguette on your butt. We have another baguette for you. Oh, I remember that we cannot do

the same show tomorrow, the Bastille Day. Tomorrow. No, no, no, no. Oh, look at her.

Ah, les princesses. Ah, les princesses. Ah, oui. Ah, oui.

Look at her. Don't worry. Allez, une fessée à princesse. Princess.

Allez, une fessée a princesse. Plus forte, princesses. Plus forte. Ah, plus forte.

She saw her. Plus forte, princesses. La fessée est à princesse. Oh, yes.

Oui, oui, oui. That was great. Princess. Wee.

Yes! Wee. Wee. Wee.

Oh no. Oh wow. Let's hear it for a princess! We will keep our royalty here on The Doctor Who's Lockdown!

I think it's because we spoke French to you, princess. The Sybian wins again. How was that? It's still going. Look at that big lip.

It's spinning. It's pulsating. Do you want to know how we say Pussy in French? Pussy, Pussy.

Ah, a chat. A chat. Yes, a chat. Miley's chat is happy.

How do you say that again? A chat. The female cat. A chat.

That's cat. That's cat. La chat. La chat de princesse.

Yes, princess. Look at this princess. I speak French now. I'm just in love with her.

She's beautiful. Her big fat clit. Le gros clitoris. Sweet spelt little princess has a big fat clitty.

Oh, yes. Look at that. I'm surprised nobody French keys that clit. Oh, my goodness.

French keys. Permission. Permission. Oui, oui.

I'll give you a French kiss. The French kiss, the clitoris. I give you a French kiss. This is French.

The French kiss, the clitoris. Yes, bravo. Yeah, princess. Yeah, big hand.

Big hand. Bravo. The baguette with princess and her clitoris. Beautiful.

Delicious. Bravo, princess. Bravo, princess. You know why you didn't smoke a cigarette at the same time.

Oh, we have... Electronic cigarettes. Oh, look. Teja, do we have a cigarette for princess?

Le tour Eiffel? Eiffel? Le tour Eiffel. Le tour Eiffel.

Now... Who's going to jump on the tour Eiffel? Le tour Eiffel. Princess, that's going to be sexy with a cigarette.

Ah, and a baguette. La baguette et la cigarette. La baguette et la cigarette. No, the baguette...

Did you put it in your Greek way and a French way? Multicultural. I think the baguette should be in the chat.

This is from Fresh and Easy. The baguette in the chat? They could get very crummy though. I think it's French and easy.

French and easy. Where did that microphone go? French and easy. This is going to be French and easy.

Have you ever had a baguette that way? No, I haven't. I'm multitasking here. Oh, and you've got a cigarette.

That's very French. I guess we could light it. Oh, you don't smoke? She's doing stuff with the baguette.

Now we have baguettes. We could light it. It would be hot. That would in a way kind of be a sex act.

I'm stroking the baguette while feeding someone else a cigarette. After making love, we smoke a cigarette.

That's what French people do. A Gaulois. A Gaulois. The Boudoir?

The Gaulois. The terrible blue cigarettes with no filters. You know what a Gaulois means? A Gaulois, G-A-U-L-O-I-N.

It's the gypsy. Gaulois. Not a Gaulois, it's from Gaul. It's the old French.

Max, do you want to say something about France? Well, first of all, I'm Italian. I hate Italians.

When I became a fugitive from American law for publishing sex things, I ran off to France.

I lived in Caen, France. Nice place. Caen. On the very, very tippy top on the...

Caes. In actually a former prison? A former prison. So I served my time.

But then I was constantly moving because I thought I was the greatest fugitive in the world I'd ever known. Nobody gave a shit that I was a fugitive.

So... I moved to Paris. We love you. I moved to Paris and I went to an internet café.

And they had these gates and stuff. And I thought it was a place where you change money. And the guy spoke English and goes,

no, I actually have a radio station. This was right after 9-11. So he said, would you like to do a show?

I said, well, I don't speak any French whatsoever. I wouldn't want to offend my French host plus, you know, I'm a fugitive.

So I said, no, go ahead and do the show. So I went on the air and I said,

Bonsoir. Moi, I'm an American idiot. You want me to dress like that one?

No, I said that just like that. I said I don't speak French. I speak some English. And the phones lit up.

The phones lit up. And for the first time in France, everybody was talking English. And they're going, what do you think

about this war? And we did a whole exhibit. Yeah, we did an exhibit there. Art bombs.

Right. Against the war. We felt that it was important for us

to maintain the friendship of the US and France when our president was basically calling, you know,

French fries, freedom fries. And I mean, if you called him Belgian fries, okay, he's going for accuracy,

but freedom fries is just stupid, right? But you know it's about making love not the war. We know that here.

They asked me, what do Americans want? And I said, we want all your candy in your baguettes.

That's cute. Yeah, we want everything. And then the next call says, what should we do?

I said, you have to be very careful, very careful, because George Bush has seen the oil well that you have in the center

of Paris. We don't have an oil well. We have a tower, the Eiffel Tower.

I said, yeah, but George thinks that's an oil well. He's going to bomb France tomorrow.

Or this invaded France and Paris. And they went crazy. I lived in Cannes and I lived

down the road there. And I went to this restaurant every night for six months. And the girl was beautiful.

The waitress was beautiful. And one night she never spoke to me, not a word. Were you taking my Eiffel Tower?

Friends don't ask you nothing. You could be a fugitive, a terrorist. It doesn't really matter. And so

after about six months I said, it's very bold. Everything is bold.

I speak English. And now we have the ballerina.

The ballet. The French ballet with nudity. The naked ballet.

The naked ballet. With kitty twinkle toes. Big hand. And we have a French song.

You guys getting those French songs? We have a French song. And then we're going to

say au revoir. Wow. That was great. That was great. The beauty.

We have the beautiful view. The twinkle toes on her twinkle toes is going to

after squirting all over the Sybian. The French music. Dance around.

Oh, it's Édith Piaf. Édith Piaf. Édith Piaf. Oui, oui.

And she thinks of a Paris. Wow. Oui, oui. It's Paul Amour.

And the ballerina. And the pole. And the pinus. Oh, oui, oui.

And the push-up. And the chat. You know, the can-can started with, you know, picking up the skirt

showing the pussy. Under the slips, under the crinolines, under the lace. And now we do away with the crinolines

and we just have a pussy. The shot. Kitty. Kitty. Twinkle toes. Oui, oui, oui.

With Édith Piaf. Bonnie. Hi, hi. Bravo.

Bravo, Kitty. Twinkle toes. Oh. My brothers and sisters.

My brothers and sisters. Oh, oui, oui. Now, I want to thank

the Bonobos. Thank you. That was great. Do you know the Saint Bonobos?

The Saint, oui. Yes, yes. The Saint Bonobos is to make love

to Paul Laguerre. To make love to Paul Laguerre. To make love to Paul Laguerre. To make love to Paul Laguerre.

But, what? To make love to Paul Laguerre. Oh, well. Not mine.

Oh, well. Honey, that's a whole other show. It's next week's show. Yeah.

Well, LaMour can be like Laguerre. Because, okay, if you have a little absent, that makes it all go away.

Okay, not too much though, or you'll end up like to lose the track. Although, he was already with problems. Yeah, look at this.

That's power for the Eiffel Tower. Eiffel Tower. Eiffel Tower power. That's that oil well that George was talking about.

I recognize it. You bet. Okay, so, let's have everybody say good night.

Let's have a microphone. Can we have a microphone? Where's the microphone? We lost our microphone. It's up somebody's shop.

Pussy. Where's that microphone? Here we go. Someone is sitting on the table.

There it is. You need help? Yeah, the new girl in town. Okay, it's Bella.

Bella was fucking the microphone. Okay, I want to hear you say that. Wait a second. I'm sorry for fucking the microphone.

We're going to guillotine you with baguettes. Okay, so we're going to say good night now. So, princess, how did you enjoy the show tonight? Did you have a good time?

I enjoyed it. I was mostly a voyeur. No, you wrote the simian. I did, but... We voyeur you.

We all voyeur you. I was the voyeur. Anyways, you can check out my website. Felicityjade.com

Felicityjade.com That would be Felicity the change. And princess is spelled P-R-I-N-Z-Z-E-S. You can come to my pages

and I'll send you right over to her. She's beautiful. We should do that during the group shot. We should have some bubbles.

We love princess. We love you princess. This is time number three. Princess has been on the show three times.

And we love her. She's one of our favorite. I try to bring India summer every time. Maybe next time.

We'll take whatever you bring, princess. We'll take anything you bring. You could come dress like a bag lady. Like an old lady.

It doesn't matter. You are just perfection no matter what. Is she perfection? Parfait.

Parfait. I love you guys. You look her up. Brigitte Bardot.

Brigitte and God created woman. Amazing movie. The duo. Create a princess.

Yeah. Wee-wee. Wee-wee. Thank you for letting her come out here.

And now we have Hot newbie. The virgin in town. At least Eric didn't wear you out.

Yeah. Here she is. Luciano. How did you enjoy your first time on the Dr. Susan Block channel?

I like that. I definitely want to come on again. All right. And how about your first time on the city?

Oh my God. Nothing is a monster. And how about your first Bastille Day? Wee-wee.

Revolution. How about your first absent? Yeah, I love it. This is a lot of first tonight.

Popping a lot of cherries tonight. Popping a lot of cherries. Chin-chin. What do they say?

Santé bonheur. It always sounds like you're talking about a boner. Santé bonheur. We always say Santé bonheur.

I could just get a boner saying that. Santé bonheur. I got a boner right now. And quitté.

Quitté. The petit chat. The petit chat with the ballet Twinkle Toes. Yeah.

Wee-wee. The one that squirt. And squirt. To ejaculate.

Ejaculation feminine. Ejaculation feminine. I would like to say I am very happy I made Princess and Bea come.

Wee-wee. She said she made. Wee-wee. Didn't have anything to do with the Sybian.

I spanked you bitches. I love you. Did you say that in French? I remember how to say that in French.

I know I was on the left cheek. Go ahead. How did you enjoy tonight's show? Well, this is my second time after

just last week. Hell, I'd fucking love to come again. Oh yeah. Come again.

Arrivé. Ejaculation. Ejaculation feminine. Wee-wee.

You, come on. Thank you for celebrating Bastille Day. You just put actually another actually, I think the highest

top of the Eiffel Tower level of Bastille Day. BastilleDayLosangeles.com tomorrow in LA.

It's the Kenneth Hand Park in Santa La Cinega. Thank you very, very much. I think I'm going home just happy with the boner.

Happy and boner. With the boner. Wee-wee. Something healthy about that. Okay, and

chocolate. Minet. Minet. Chocolate.

By the way, I hope to all see you tomorrow. Please come. I'm going to in my sleet. No, no, come, please.

Doctor, before I forget, I have some message. Message. I bring message from Ken Marcus. Ken Marcus.

Old friend. And he says hello, hello. It's been a long time. My friend, Ken Marcus, hello. Okay.

Message has a message. I love you, Ken Marcus. I was just thinking about you the other day. We all love Ken Marcus.

This Ken Marcus. I have known this guy for 35 years. He's not that old. We haven't seen him lately.

He says hi, Dr. Susan. How about lately? He says hi to the Max.

And he says yes. And to you, Sir Captain. Sir Captain. I don't know his name. I just know him by Captain.

Oh, that's Max. Captain Max. I know he's your husband. I just didn't know his name.

I just knew him by Captain. He was a fugitive in France for like three years. Exactly. You remember the story?

Ken got your berries. He was courting. Yes. But Ken Marcus says hello, hello.

Don't be a stranger. I love Ken. Ken, I love you. Peace, revolution.

Celebrating Charlie's birthday. Bob Guccione, who really fucked with all the magazines back then in the 70s.

And Bob is the party. Oh, right. And Ken shot for Bob. We're going to talk about Penthouse some other time.

Yeah. Although, Princess is a Penthouse pet. Yeah. Susie has soft skin.

Oh, Princess. You know what? That is going to stay with me until next week. That is another year.

So we'll be back here. You will stay with me forever. Oh, man. You don't say that.

Oh, and Princess just feels like ambrosia. Okay. We didn't get to hear from Minette.

Minette is one of our therapists. Minette is also our editor of the blog and blah, blah, blah. And it's a nice show with Helen.

Oh, yes. Helen. We have our new... Oh, and before we speak to Minette,

I won't forget Minette, but I just want to take a moment to say rest in peace. Who? Holly.

Holly died. Holly Stevens. Hollywood. Beautiful girl.

Such a beautiful girl. Such a wonderful spirit. And she passed away of breast cancer just a few days ago, really.

And gosh, she came to us in 2004. She was on a Christmas show with Mistress Genevieve. It was one of her first shows.

It was one of her first shows, one of her first times out in the great, wonderful world of sex entertainment

and sex education. And Holly was a star from the beginning. Yeah, she was wonderful. She was so beautiful, this tall,

beautiful girl, all-natural blonde and she just... Mistress Genevieve

tied her up in red for Christmas and then she peed in a glass for a sissy maid to drink. And everybody just

loved her and she's been on the show several times. Clown porn, also on with Vicki Chase and Eric John

when she was part of that Charlie Sheen spoof. Yeah. And she's been on with Corpse.

She's just been such a wonderful part of our life. And up till her dying days, she was shooting.

She was. She was always, always getting herself out there. She was a beautiful, sexual,

crazy woman. A clown and a great French performer. I don't know

what's French about her except you know, it's like I'm sure, yeah. So it's something good enough to her.

And let us do a toast, a French toast to Holly, Holly Stevens, Holly Wood, the beautiful spirit, the spirit of clown porn,

the spirit of love. Holly, we love you. We'll be joining you someday. In the meantime, we drink to you.

We fuck to you. We love to you. Holly, Holly. Holly. In a few minutes, we're going to take

shots of everybody, not with shots. After-show kind of stuff. I'm like crying.

I love you guys. It's Bastille Day. I also want to say this. I also want to say this.

These women, these are the foot soldiers. These are the people that are changing the world.

Revolution. Yeah, George Bush would like to take credit. But you know what?

George Bush is dead. He's no more president. The Revolution. He's on that.

The Revolution in the Arab world is the part of the women

and opening of the curtains and changing the world. Because we

discover Pussy Land, and we discover the kitty that comes out of the bag and once that kitty leaves that bag, it ain't never going back.

No. The pussycat is out of the bag and women are sexual beings. Hallelujah.

We have made our Revolution and not every guy and not every gal can deal with it and you can always

call the Dr. Susan Block Institute of the Erotic Arts and Sciences for Telephone Sex Therapy 2-1-3-6-7-0-0-0-6-6

if you have a problem with this. The best part is as Charlie Sheen would say

and one of our guests who is now with Charlie Charlie Sheen would say we're winning.

We are winning and it's a tough fight. Holly, we are winning. Holly, thanks to you and that you dedicated your life

to this Revolution, Holly and we appreciate it. She did. She died young.

She died pretty young. It had nothing to do with sex because you get breast cancer from God knows what.

Deodorant. I don't know what you get breast cancer from. It's got nothing to do with sex though but

thank you. Thank you for more absent. God bless us.

Wait a second, I want to hear from Minette because she speaks really good French. Say something in French about yourself. Oh, okay.

We'll see the thing in. Wait, that's English. My mother never taught me how to speak

French in French because she wanted me to be a woman who is

a woman. But you see what you do now through the captain mask. Very exciting.

I don't know what you're saying. Just the French. Okay, continue. I do know how to say

sign up. Sign up. It's a slot. It's slot in French.

Slut. That means slot in French. What is that? Salope.

Yes. Salope. Salope. That means slot.

Welcome to the world of French. Salope. Wait, wait, encore.

So if you call me, I can be a little salope. La la. I think Minette,

everybody from France is going to call you right now. Vas-y. Wait, wait, wait.

Okay, 2-1-3-6-7-0-0-0-6-6. Okay. We got Minette. We got Francaise.

We got Anglais. Italian. Max will talk Italian to you if you want to talk to an old man.

Espanol. Hey, you should be one of her therapists. I speak Spanish. Oh, my God.

Sounds like the United Nation of sex. All right. So you know what, now I'm going to end the show

because we're going to have an after party and the absent is sinking in. Okay. Hey, you know, the bonobos

lead the way. We are here in Bonoboville. This is Bastille Day in Bonoboville.

Joyeux. Joyeux. Bastille. Joyeux.

Bastille. I like the French. I like Bonobo. Bonobo,

I was just sequenced and we are very close to the Bonobos. They are the Fair L'Amour,

Pallaguer, Saint-Chimpanzee and they inspire us. They inspire us and we love them.

So I want to say to all you French. Fair L'Amour, Pallaguer. Fair L'Amour, Pallaguer.

Make like the Bonobos, not baboons. Make love, not war. Make love to someone you love

tonight, even if that someone is you. I love you. Je t'aime. Need to talk with someone about something

you can't talk about with anyone. See the clap sign. Everybody clap. Dr. Susan Blanc.

Yes. But my great job is director of the Dr. Susan Blanc Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences.

Specializing in sex therapy over the phone. Anytime you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy

or a hot phone sex experience or a combination, my world renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away.

Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you, role play for you, fantasize with you, no fantasy is too taboo

and help you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages.

For more information call us at 213 291 9497 That's 213 291

9497 Anytime you need to talk. You're listening to Radio Suzy 1 on the World Wide Web.