Blonde Island [Photos]

Featuring:Bethany Sweet, Lisa Ann Davis, Lola Ya Bonobo, Orgasmical, Vicky Vette

Welcome to Blonde Island, our late-summer variation on Pleasure Island, featuring Dr. Suzy’s bedful of platinum, honey-haired beauties, one beached blonde more beautiful, buxom and bodacious than the next. But why compare? Each is a golden revelation of long-legged, large-busted, tanned, toned, stark naked blondeness, athletic sexuality and lusty unbridled political opinion, all of them kissing, caressing and dancing the hoka-hoka* with Dr. Suzy and each other. First Blonde on the Bed is Bethany Sweet, and she is indeed the sugar in Seattle’s famous coffee, a religious Christian ballet dancer turned proud and perky Porn Star. Next up is Vicky Vett, the Viking Vixen, “Born for Porn,” a Norwegian horny housewife turned swinger turned…Porn Star! A bevy of beauties from other fields of erotica follow: kinky Russian fetish model Victoria Lane (another leggy blonde), pretty little model Ania Vargas, thoughtful TS Herotica 4 author Christine Beatty, and the dramatic return of smoking hot Spanish Blonde Orgasmical–with her band!–singing “Funk Me Like An Animal,” and driving all the other blondes into funky, animalistic, orgasmical, cunny-licking, nipple-sucking, snake-handling heat! One of the great revelations of the night was not a blonde but a brunette with big brown-eyes and a slim, lithe, perfectly-muscled, all-natural body that looked as if it had been carved by Rodin. Indeed, Lisa Ann Davis is an artist’s model, as well as one of the wondrous, ethereal nymphs that danced naked around Zorbacchus, aka. the late, legendary Altadena Artist/Rancher Jirayr Zorthian (Yale ’36) at several of his bacchannalian primaveras. Lisa wowed the crowd, especially Dr. Suzy’s paparazzi, as her supple naked form struck one graceful, eloquent pose after another, radiating harmony and emotion, like a living sculpture, something of the Old Masters unearthed by erotic archeologists on Blonde Island. Then suddenly, the winds changed, and a very lucky shipwrecked sailor found his way from the Sea of Pain we call the Regular World to that Island of Pleasure at Dr. Suzy’s Speakeasy that we christened Blonde Island for this sultry late-summer night: Seasoned CBS Newsman and War Correspondent Rob Milford, just back from reporting on Bush’s War in Iraq, came onto Dr. Suzy’s bed to talk about Sex on the Front (and also from behind). But when his Hawaiin-shirted body was cast ashore upon this naked paradise of nymphs and blondes, he lost his train of thought (wouldn’t you?) . Welcome to Pleasure Island, Rob… Forget CBS, you’re on RadioSuzy1TV now… You were embedded with 1000 smelly marines in the very unfriendly desert. Now get in bed with a harem of gorgeous, mostly naked blondes and one very supple brunette nymph. It’s Midnight at the Oasis…or some kind of twisted American variant on Islamist Martyr’s Heaven where the dead hero is serviced by numerous gorgeous “houris” in a garden of sensuous delights. Ah, if only we could send all our beloved troops (you too, Charlie!) to Blonde Island instead of extending their tours of duty in Hell, to satisfy George II’s murderous vision of redemption. Speaking of Skull & Boners, also in attendence are several Yale alumni (whose names shall not be mentioned to protect their legacies) with their dates, in addition to our hardworking Y Annex interns, as well as the Artist Mario Saucedo and a bunch of other lucky happy hustlers, friends and lovers drinking, smoking, dancing, discussing politics, religion, booze, bonobos and ethical hedonism and saying “wow.” Even with all the blondes, nymphs, broadcasters and philosophers, we manage to take a few good calls, including one from Jen, a strong, middle-aged sexual woman who just wants a nice guy to throw her on the bed and funk her like an animal. All the blondes, even the nymph and some of the Yalies emphathize. And the CBS War Correspondent just shrugs and smiles a shipwrecked, shit-eating grin at his crazy good fortune to have survived the Horror of Iraq and made it to the Blonde Island Block Party. We Support Our Troops! We Support Bringing Them On HOME to Pleasure Island…