LUPERCALIA 2019

Full transcript of LUPERCALIA 2019 on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

Want to talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else? You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves, but my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy over the phone.

Anytime you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination, my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you, role-play for you, fantasize with you. No fantasy is too taboo and help

you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. For more information call us at 213-291-9497. That's 213-291-9497 anytime you need to talk. You're listening to Radio Susie One on the World Wide Web and now here she is, Dr. Susan Block.

Brothers and sisters and sinners, artists and exhibitionists, voyeurs and connoisseurs, femme-doms and friends, pagans, panpaniscous and pan-banobo sapiens, whippers and snappers, floggers and floggies, heart-shaped butts and ancient history, nuts. You know, you're not the ones, Romans, countrywomen, lend me your ears. I come to bury Valentine's Day, not to

praise it. Sorry to mangle Shakespeare but hear me out. Valentine's Day is fake news, totally concocted by the early Catholic Church. Enhanced by Hallmark and C's candies and just spread everywhere by Bezos, sanitizing and commercializing. This original primal pagan holiday of the heart. Yeah, it is the heart, but very

different. And yes, tonight we celebrate in the little church of the Bonobo Way in the village of Bonoboville on the Dr. Susan Block show. We celebrate Luper Calia, a heartfelt feast for all the senses, including your sense of history. So and yes, he is the God of horniness. That's right. The great horned horny God of

the Greco-Roman pantheon. God of the wild. Pan is also the patron saint of the Bonobos. Isn't that a coincidence? I don't know if it is. I think it makes sense, but they are called their Latin name is Panpaniscus. Right? Oh, here's a cute one with horns. All right. Yeah, so Bonobos are really like the animals of Pan. And

and that's why we could say the spirits of Pan. And that's only one of a million reasons I love them. And now of course Valentine's Day is World Bonobo Day. So, you know, I love Bonobos and a lot of my peeps love Bonobos, but the church, you know, especially the early church, or maybe any time, not very Bonobo-esque, let's just

say. And the early church turned poor Pan into the devil. Yeah, Satan and the rest is satanic history. They took all the fun and they turned it into evil. You know? But on this show, well, Pan is making a comeback. He's also Faunus to the Romans and Lupricus, the shepherd God, and the shepherd God is of course in that form

of Pan, the Lord of Lupricalia, the goat God. And tonight Pan in many forms will rule Bonoboville just as he ruled ancient Rome for so many years until he got turned into the devil. So tonight, if you use your imagination, you know, if it hasn't been cyber vaporized, you know, by your cell phones, I mean, if you use that

imagination, that spirit, then our cave like womb room here in Bonoboville will become the womb like cave of the Lupercow, just as it was in ancient Rome. Actually, it was kind of outside of ancient Rome. And we do this through the erotic theater of the mind. But we're also going to do it through, you know, real

theater. Erotic theater therapy is what I call it because I am a sex therapist, you know, not an actress. Okay. And that's why I have notes. I didn't memorize this and I don't know it all. But anyway, one thing is I want to say just a little advertising. Since the original Lupercalia included a lot of flogging and spanking.

Well, we decided that we would launch our brand new fabulous speakeasy journal spank and art at our Lupercalia celebration. And yeah, I mean, we have some copies. They are proof copies. There actually is not in the real copy going to be a band across my tits, hopefully. But, you know, we sent it all in way on time and didn't

realize there was going to be all these little caveats, you know, such as we had to produce all the releases. And we're going to show some more of it. But one thing is there's a lot of people. This is going back to like the 1990s. And it does show a Lupercalia. It's got quite a few of our guests tonight. And we'll

be showing that more maybe. Yeah. I mean, maybe I'll just pass it around to my guests right now. Or you can just take. Yeah, you can just show the magazines. So I can't find the Lupercalia section. Maybe you can. But anyway, there's a whole Lupercalia section. And there's a whole Spanksgiving section. And there's

just fabulous spanking. DomCon is well represented. It's got spanking that goes all the way back. And a lot of history and a lot of therapy. And anyway, we had to get all these releases. We finally did. And then they said, okay, we need five days to, you know, jack off to these pictures before we can, you know, give

you, well, hello, Mr. Bezos. We're very grateful that you are perhaps publishing our fabulous magazine. And we understand that you have dick pics to send. He's busy. And he also, he's into withdrawal. Anyway, Bezos pecker. Be sure to check out my fabulous essay, which is on Counterpunch. And in my blog, it's a tale of two

peckers, really. It's Bezos exposes Trump's pecker, meaning David, the guy at the National Enquirer. Then you wrote the other piece. And then I wrote the other piece. We'll get into that later. That's a little more complicated. You know, that one was very controversial. The one I didn't actually write it.

It was an interview in salon. But the Bezos piece is funny. And you can all enjoy it. So back to us. So where am I? I lost, okay. Oh, yeah. We're gonna tell you the story of lupercalia. So the namesake of lupercalia is the lupur. The lupur. Oh, look, we have fairy music now. And the lupur is a word in Latin that

means she wolf. It also, interestingly, means something to the effect of whore. So, you know, there's a little bit of connection to the great whore goddess, the great wolf goddess who nurtures ancient realm. And there she is. If you're looking on the screen, the founders of ancient realm. So I want to

introduce you to the lupur. The lupur is right here. She is played by Rhiannon Arons, who is, I could say, a speakeasy regular. And also the winner for the second time of most well-rounded kinkster, Susie Award. And I mean, you can take pictures holding the award with your wolf mask, I don't know. And you also

won something about Stormy Daniels, Best Stormy Daniels. Anyway, you do get a pin. And you may speak. Maybe you should take the mask off when you're gonna speak and just be a person. Anyway, we are playing these roles, but we are people, we are wonderful people. And I think that everyone here has

been here before. So I'm very excited to have everyone back. So this is Rhiannon. Her hair is red for Valentine's Day, which is the color of lupur calia. Indeed. The color of goats blood. We don't have any goats blood, but I use lipstick. So anyway, welcome back, Rhiannon. Thank

you. Congratulations on your award. I am so thrilled to have won multiple Susie's. I had to rewrite my CV to accommodate them accordingly. Yes, I'm so glad. I'm sure, you know, all your students are very interested when they look you up. I saved that lecture for closer to the end of the

semester. Yes, you do teach something or other, don't you? Art or something like that? I do. I teach a thesis development class for artists. Thesis development? Wow. That's exciting. So you're gonna do a thesis about the lupur? I might. I was thinking about actually doing a

thesis about extreme performance art. Maybe I'll have to do a thesis about lupur calia. This is my thesis. All right, welcome back, put on your mask. We're so happy to have you back. Now, we actually have a few wolves tonight. It's kind of wolf night.

Yeah, Rianna and Aaron, she's amazing. You are going to see more of her. I see Johnny. Johnny, I gotta, I gotta get my other guests involved. She's gonna be very involved, believe me. Okay, that's her, her, her biggest fan. I don't know. She's got a lot of big

fans. So yeah, we've got a lot of wolves. The other two main characters of our lupur calia story are really two brothers. But we don't have a lot of guys here tonight. But we have, that's blossom, my kitty cat assistant. And she's going to help me

maneuver everybody. So that's why she can't be a main character get lost in her role. So these two guys are the founders of ancient Rome. Well, one of them is but the other one is until something happens. Their names are you may remember this from

your ancient Rome classes, Romulus and Remus. So Romulus is going to be played by she got Claire. Here she is. And she got Claire is also a winner of a Susie award. Oops, that's an impeached Trump button. Here. And you get a button, you don't

get to keep the award, which by the way has a glide vegan condom on it. Somebody questioned me about what made it vegan. And all I can say is I don't know. But they say it's vegan. And they're very nice people. And they're very

good condoms. So that means it's not made out of the sacrificial goat? No, or the sacrificial lamb. You know, neither. It's made out of the sacrificial carrot. So, so anyway, Romulus Romulus kind of the more dominant, maybe older of the

two brothers. And the other brother is Remus, you know, and in our reenactment tonight, Remus will be played by Braddy Wolfie, who also won a Susie award. Amazing. I've got all these Susie award winners who are this one is for best

submissive, which is good because you're gonna have a trouble tonight. And last show, she was amazing as a wolf come a wolf. And did I say what you want for? No, I was I think hottest humiliating. That's right. Hot as humiliating. That's

her specialty. We have all kinds of femdoms here. I did print it and frame it in my office. Oh, of course, I asked you. And you know, you might actually use some of that tonight. So anyway, these are the two boys, but the girls. And

and now this is a real girl, a real woman, actually, a queen, and kind of a goddess, you know, kind of one of those human manifestations of the goddess that really way before ancient Rome was, you know, the main character in the pantheon. And

this woman is the mother of these two twins. And her name is Queen Rea Sylvia. And she is the daughter of King Numenor of Albelonga. And her lover that helped her to produce these hot boys was Mars, the god of war. And I know I'm very make love,

not war, but hey, there's a force in the world. And certainly Rome is a very much what was a kind of a warrior culture. So our queen is very appropriately played by the amazing queenly goddess, her name is goddess, Phoenix. And

oh, I just want you to stand up and show that outfit, please. She came totally prepared to be a Greek or Roman goddess. This is a total, like, really gorgeous rendition of a toga or one of these kind of, you know, Egyptian outfits or something.

But Rome was very influenced by the Egyptians. And so Rea Sylvia, you know what? I think that your children should be by you right now. I think maybe you could switch. Maybe Bradie Wolfie should be on the floor. And you can be, you

know, I mean, you're very tender with your children, but you might do a little whipping of them just to show them who's boss, that you're their mama. And they should be, you know, they're babies, basically. And yeah. All right. So this is goddess

Phoenix. And she is the hostess of the Dom Con. What is it? The opening night party, the red carpet, the red carpet that is absolutely correct. And she won once again for most dazzling Dom just because, you know, there's no Dom or dazzling in

her outfits, in her sense of humor, everything. We find her dazzling. And that's goddess Phoenix. And she also won another award for, what was it, like sort of best gift or something. Because she gave me this fabulous fiber optic

vlogger. And it makes me feel dazzling, which I must feel as often as possible. So she, goddess Phoenix is Queen Rea Sylvia. Do you want to say hello? And I will give you, did I give you your award? Look at that. Look at

how good that looks. You should. Whoa. Yeah, it looks beautiful. Cameras, if you need an angle. That's an angle. This is it. This is a good angle. That's true. Yeah, you can stay at that

angle. I just want goddess Phoenix to, you know, say anything about herself before she gets into her character too much. You know, like what her latest things are. Let's see. Well, I have Dom School starting

on March 24th, 23rd and 24th. It's actually educated. It's an educational program where you can come and learn to be a professional dominatrix by people who have been in this industry for years. I've

been in it for 25 years. So now I want to teach and educate. Come and make people come. Hey, nobody better to learn from in terms of attitude and flogging styles and so much more. Thank you so much.

Thank you. Thank you. And I have my new goddess experience and that's teaching kinksters and people around the world about kink and BDSM and a very unique way. I'm doing it all in white. So my classes,

everything is done in white. Wow. The first dominatrix ever to do everything in white. And that is so opposite of what people usually think of dominatrix. Absolutely. And you always do that.

You're a glamazon. You all, you know, the typical idea of a dominatrix is leather, leather, leather, which is nice. That's right. But you know, it's nice to have variety and certainly a goddess

like this. Thank you. It's fabulous. And I want to say that I won my fitness competition for women 50 and over. Wow. I wouldn't know you're over 50. Okay.

Now let's get to the real show. Okay. That was a little commercial. All right. Okay. So now we could record your moans. Yeah. You could be moaning like a little baby.

But she's not a baby. Obviously she's a grown woman. And she's getting a little whipping. I just act like a baby. Okay. So now, you know, Goddess Phoenix as Queen Rea Sylvia

just enjoys her two children, Romulus and Remus so much. Don't show that to Facebook, please. Yeah. Be careful. Be careful of Facebook. Well, you could show part of it like the

upper part, not the close-up of the tush. By the way, Facebook, you can always watch us on... How about the candy? Yeah, baby.

So Romulus and Remus are having a great time. I mean, they're little infants with their mommy. Thank you, mommy. And yet, lurking in the background of their lives

in our Belonga is... Who is it? It's evil. Great Uncle Amulius. He's very evil.

And he doesn't like foreign children much. Like some people. He sees those children. He figures, you know, they must be invading... Little brats.

You know, so he... Well, he doesn't just put them in a children's concentration camp where they might die, but he does do something kind of similar,

which is he throws them or just leaves them to die on the shores of the Tiber River. All right. Now, Captain Max, because he is from Rome,

is going to take on the part in the beginning of evil Uncle Amulius. Are you ready, Captain Max? And where's my tide? We have to have the river.

Okay, so let's get the river going. Okay, and you're going to... You're there, right. Okay, so there's the river.

You're not actually in the river yet. Have the river kind of over here by the wolf. You're with your mom. You're with your mom. You could even be over there where you were.

You just... He's going... Because you're not in the river yet. Max is going to come forward,

and he is going to throw you, or what are you going to do? Put them into the cold. The Bambini, right?

The Bambini. There are so many of these Bambini that we can't eat. This is very, you know, authentic.

I understand. So we have these four Bambini. We have to... We throw them...

We throw them in the water, right? After all, he murdered King Numitor. Okay, I got one of them. Okay, oh.

All right, kid. Oh, this is mine. He's throwing. Okay, so now you guys can kind of...

Like modern dance thing. You could go with the river. Go with the river. And it wouldn't be bad if you got kind of topless at this part,

because I can't imagine you keep your baby clothes on. Yeah, that would be nice. Oh, yeah. Right.

And you're sort of flowing in the river. Hey, river people. No, you're not supposed to be doing the river. You do the river.

There's river people. I thought... Miss Lusty Lady for Life. Give her a piece of river.

Now the river is through... Okay, here we go with the river. Take that river. That's it.

Now, kind of go forward, go forward. You're in the river. You're going to die, maybe. You're swimming.

You can't breathe. It's like something I was feeling the other day. Anyway, but here you are. Oh, they're laughing a lot.

But you can imagine. This is very rough for these children. And, of course, their mother, the queen of Abelonga, Queen Rea Sylvia, is very, very disturbed.

She's very upset, very upset. And we're going to have another person play the part of the king, Amulius, because she is going to punish him

for taking away her children. And since he did something very similar to someone we all know, the Trumpas come here

and take your walking bridge. And now you... Okay, so ladies, you move over this way now. You are going to move this way.

And the queen is going to take her sorrow out on King Amulius's ass or back. And then there's the Nancy Pelosi paddle. Hold that the other way, yeah.

Okay, the river, okay, you're by the river. Now, the river should be over here. Don't have the river in front of the Nancy Pelosi paddle. In fact, we don't necessarily need the river

because as he's going to get whipped by his sorrowing wife, Romulus and Remus, are miraculously rescued

by the she-wolf, played by Rhiannon, this wolf, the milf goddess. Oh, I like that wolf.

I mean, like wolf. She rescues Romulus and Remus from drowning or just dying from exposure in the river. Like King Trump.

I mean, King Amulius wanted them to do because he was afraid of them because they were children of Mars. Anyway, he should be afraid now

because of what he did. His wife will first... Well, actually, she's not his wife. I think she's like his stepdaughter.

She will take revenge on him now by smacking him, possibly with the Nancy Pelosi paddle. And then later, we'll see what happens.

All right. So the wolf has rescued Romulus and Remus. And here we are. Let's get a good view.

Maybe the wolf should be up front and the wolf is all furry, of course, but she's going to remove her fur or open it or something.

Open your fur, Looper. Yes. And the wolf has, of course, beautiful teats, otherwise known as tits.

And so does Rhiannon Arons. So here, Romulus and Remus miraculously rescued from drowning in the Tiber, you know, which was, I guess, a form of birth control

or, I guess, infanticide. You mean two survived? They both survived. They both survived.

Yes. I thought I threw four in there. No, no. You only threw two in.

You completely failed. It's like Trump and his wall. You didn't get nothing. The wall will reappear in this story, by the way.

So pay attention. Anyway, Romulus and Remus are miraculously rescued by the wolf who suckles them in this cave. The womb-like cave they call the Looper Cow,

which is, of course, in the cave-like womb room of the Church of the Bonobo Way. That's why you hear that angel music. And there they are, suckling.

And she has strong milk. She's a wolf. And she nurtures them. And they do grow strong.

And, yeah, I said Loopa is also Latin slang for prostitute, which I think explains a lot, especially all the suckling, you know? I think she was the original sex worker or something.

It's just all about sex workers were goddesses in ancient times. I'm talking earlier than ancient times. It's primeval times.

That's where this myth is from, before ancient Rome. So, and you know what? I don't think it's so far-fetched. You know, not like immaculate conception.

I mean, that's far-fetched. But haven't you heard of children being raised by wolves? Right? It is, there's something to that.

I'm not recommending it, but at the same time. Don't leave your children to the wolves, folks. I don't want people to misunderstand me, like in the salon interview.

Everyone jumps, jumps, jumps to such conclusions. So, please, I'm just saying, there have been children raised by wolves. This is a little, anyway, it is a myth,

but there's some possibility to it. So, use a microphone. If you're going to speak, use a microphone. I appreciate it.

There are feral children. Look up feral children. Mowgli from the Jungle Book was raised by wolves, too. That's a fictional feral kid,

but there's totally for real feral kids. Look up feral children. I kind of feel like some of these animals, so-called animals,

might be even more nurturing than human parents. Wait, yes. Some human parents, you know. Humans?

We're not that superior. We're not that superior. Animals, so-called non-human animals, have a lot of interesting qualities.

They don't even have to speak to communicate. And I think that the ancients, the primeval people, were more in touch with that. Now, we're only in touch with our dogs,

which we've turned into humans. Braddy humans. So, okay, so Romulus and Remus, more oral passion than passionate oratory.

You know, they become, they are our heroes, and Blossom, I just dropped my notes. Please come over here.

I need to crawl over there. Yes, you need to crawl over there. There's Braddy Wolf, which is very good. Thank you, Remus.

She's part of the wolf pack. She's like, yes. I also kind of think of the she-wolf as the classic cougar,

the sacred whore of Valentine's Day. And we have lost the sacred whore in this hallmark, Bezos, artificial, fattening, stupid Valentine's Day,

which I always try to celebrate. Yeah, I had sex, but it was actually a really weird Valentine's Day. But lubricalia, I don't know.

There's something, something more real about it. Because the ideal is the enemy of the real. And Valentine's Day is an ideal of romance that most people can't achieve on one day.

They might achieve it in a lifetime, but this one day of romance. I mean, it's cool. It works sometimes.

I've had some great Valentine's Days. But you know, better to have your butt beaten on lubricalia than your heart broken on Valentine's Day.

So anyway, the great wolf milf of H. Rowan. I'm not sure what this says about Romans and animals, but I bet that some of those Tuscan shepherds got their calcium straight from the teeth.

Absolutely. So Romulus and Remus grow up. They become big men with tits. And they become strong.

And you know, they love the wolf, but I mean, they can't spend their whole life with a wolf. So they want to, you know, take revenge on their dad. Not their dad.

They're kind of step-granddad. This King Emilius now being played by Donnie. And so they stand up, get strong, and maybe one of you should take the Nancy Pelosi paddle.

Maybe Romulus. Now don't hit him too hard because he was just in a car accident. I'm not talking about Trump. I'm talking about Tim who's playing Trump.

So anyway, they come back to Alba Longa and they find Uncle Emilius and they get revenge for him leaving them to die.

And they, well, they murder him, but we're not going to do that. It wasn't me. I didn't do it.

Right. Okay. I mean, no. I didn't throw this at the defense.

It wasn't me. We taught you red-handed. It wasn't me. That's the shaggy defense.

You can hit him a little more. It takes more to kill him. But not too hard. But yeah, that's good.

Okay, he's dead. He is dead. And now you come to your mother who greets you with open arms.

She is so delighted. Mama. And she gets in a few more flogs herself on that bastard.

Mama. That's right. Queen Goddess Phoenix. What is her name?

Rea Sylvia, the daughter of King Nubidor of Alba Longa. And now she becomes Queen of Alba Longa once more. That's right. And actually her granddad, he didn't die,

but he now becomes King again of Alba Longa. So, you know, Romulus and Remus are like born. Wow. Because now, I mean, they did that.

And they're ready for something else. And these were the days when you could actually do a lot of things without a lot of money. But maybe they did have money after all.

They're sons of kings. And Mars, for God's sake. But anyway, I don't know how much money they had, but they had a lot of energy.

And they went out, look energetic. Like, yes, I'm going to go out and found a new city. A new city. And I don't know what I'm going to call it yet,

but it's going to be fabulous and it's going to be on seven hills. And we're going to build a fence or a wall or maybe some steel slats. Well, they didn't have steel back then.

But yes, this is true. This is, well, part of the story that they were going to, they built a wall and they were building sort of act like you're building a wall.

Okay. They're building a wall and they argue over the wall. They get really mad at each other. And these guys are really, really, they love each other.

But anger takes hold. And Romulus, in a fit of anger, kills Remus. Really. Okay, so we're not actually going to kill Remus.

Killing by spanking. Killing by spanking. Yes. Okay. This looks like so much fun.

Remus is getting killed. Yes. Bad, bad wolf. All right.

The dying wolf. Oh, Remus is now dead. Remus, you're dead. And now, Romulus suddenly feels regret.

He loves his brother. Oh, no. Well, it's seriously not too much regret because he goes on to found the city

that Romulus and Remus started and he calls it not Rem. Obviously. He calls it Rome after himself.

What a guy. I think he was just pretending to be sad so people wouldn't be suspicious. I don't know.

He probably had mixed feelings. But anyway, we don't know. It's kind of a myth. They say he was sad.

They say he was sad. Yeah. All these dead bodies, yeah. And this is...

No one was harmed in the making of this shot. Yeah. Everyone is. This is a, you know, it's sort of like the rivalry

between Cain and Abel. Cain kills Abel. But I don't think they loved each other. They didn't have that.

They didn't have that nuance thing. Only guilt. Only guilt, exactly. The Judeo-Christian Bible is more black and white.

Greek Roman mythology is very full of nuance. Like real life. It's not about total good or total bad. It's like a lot of these people are,

I mean, they're gods and goddesses, but they're not the one god who's always right. And they're not the devil who's always bad. You know, they're kind of nuanced.

Like life. They go with the, you know, the waves. They're just like what happens. So, but nevertheless, whether you say it's good or bad,

or somewhere in between, fratricide seems to be a running theme in all kinds of mythologies. Both Pagans and Monotheus. So, Romulus founds Rome.

You got a 10 hard. But Remus isn't completely gone. I get it. He rises from the dead.

Rise. And show your boobs. Yes. And he's half wolf now.

And this is Braddy Wolfie. He rises. And in fact, now the story becomes history. That all part, I don't know.

It's kind of what we call mythology. And to me, it's just as real as the Bible. Although parts of the Bible, I think, have some history like the story of Esther.

But this now takes a turn into history that we have real evidence of. Which is there was a cave. There was a cave. In ancient Rome.

Or outside of ancient Rome. And this was a cave that the followers of Remus and the followers of Romulus. Who were sometimes rivals.

But often friends would gather together. And have orgies. Pretty much. But they were a little more detailed.

And we're going to get everybody a little more involved now. So what they would do is they would gather together and they would, they were like fraternities. So that's why I'm wearing my Yale panties.

Because, of course, I am a, I wasn't in a fraternity. But, or even a sorority. But I did speak at fraternities. And Porn and Chicken at Yale.

Porn and Chicken. When I, of course, was a big part of Sex Week at Yale. Did you say Porn and Chicken? Yeah, it was called Porn.

It was a group that would watch porn. And eat chicken? And eat chicken. Fried chicken?

No. That's beautiful. I think it was fried chicken, yeah. Mostly.

They were eating fried chicken when I was there. Bad food. I didn't eat any of the food. Fried chicken.

Anyway, so it's like colleges started. And these were all guys. It's true. And we're kind of girl-friendly.

Girl-boy. Girl-boy. Hi, Chintilly. We're Romulus.

Luperkai Fabai. We're Remus. And as time passed, these two fraternities populated by near-naked. So anybody who wants to get near-naked, feel free.

Sort of Roman frat boys would gather together in this womb-like cave of the Luperkau where the she-wolf, or maybe the whore, I mean they might have had some sex workers come. Or, I don't know. You know, maybe they had some real wolves.

But anyway, it was the cave of the Luper where they believed or they said that their great-great-great-great-granddaddy, Romulus and Remus, had been suckled by the Luperkali. And so they would get together in the ancient cave, these naked young frat boys and their priestly leaders, and they would sacrifice a goat.

Okay, goat! Okay, you gotta take the t-shirt off and show your fabulous breasts. You're gonna wear a fur coat as well. Oh, please.

I just took my bra off, okay? Come on. Let me go get the fur. I just stopped wearing a bra on the show because it was just one more thing to take off.

All right, so now, I think Trump should, well, King Amulus, you're gonna come back, you're not rising from the dead. No, he's just permanently dead. But he might come back in some other form.

So he should crawl off in a very abject way. Okay, here we go. This is Sunshine McWayne. And, well, at least take that t-shirt off.

Yeah, the t-shirt and the bra. You know, we're going for ancient Rome. They didn't wear sports bras. Well, they probably did.

I think they did have tattoos. You know, sure, Mary Magdalene, you know, they haven't just seen those Mel Gibson movies. They've all got this henna stuff going on.

These are Sunshine McWayne's fabulous tits. And by the way, she won a Susie Award, her funniest comedian. And she can't pin that on her boobs, though, because it would hurt. I don't think she's into that much pain.

But she is a very funny comedian. She has done stand-up here, but we don't have time for that. But you're gonna play the sacrificial goat. And, you know, the sacrificial goat should be on her knees.

And people that would like to lightly flog. Well, I'm not gonna actually kill you. Again, this is, there's a lot of death and murder and, you know, stuff like that in the Lupercalius story.

And we just can't do that. So we have to do a lot of flogging, which there's also a lot of. So we're going to flog her as a representation of sacrificing her. And of course she is.

We should put some horns on her. I'll hear you here. Horns. Well, those are kitty horns.

Can you get one of these? All right. Yeah, you can use those. I'm a grown-up goat.

Thank you. Put those horns on. That's good. Get horny.

Until it comes to getting a grown-up. And you even have a tail. Okay. Your ponytail.

Okay. So it's not on your ass. Okay. So you could sort of, well, you can stand,

you can sort of sit like that, but you could also be on your hands and knees. And... Come on, bend it back, girl.

Come on. Okay. Show me a good view. There you go.

And... To our kids. And in the cave of the Lupercal, they would sacrifice this goat.

And when they sacrifice the goat, they would... Also drink a lot of wine. They'd get very, very drunk.

Has everybody got the drink of choice? I mean, we have... She's like, okay, now I'm ready. We have Magellan Gin.

We don't have wine over here, but we do at the bar. We have Rumbar Bancourt. We have Agua Cocoa Leaf Lecour.

We have Belle Poir. We have Pango Rock. And you have three minutes. Okay.

Oh my goodness. We're going to have to continue. I don't think we have time to go much farther. We also have Absinthe.

Absinthe. So what we're going to do on the break is we're going to figure out what drinks people want. And we're going to continue our scene

in the Lupercal, the cave. And it's going to involve lots more flogging with strips that are cut from the skin of the sacrificial goat.

And we are also going to take the blood of the goat, but not really. We're going to use lipstick to mark our foreheads, consensually, I hope.

And so then we are reenacting the Lupercal experience in the cave. And then, of course, what would happen was be that they would cut these strips

and these strips are made by Jux Leather. Jux Lee of Jux Leather. And they would run into town and flog or whip.

Anybody that wanted to be flogged or whipped, it was pretty consensual. And they even thought that it would make them fertile. I don't know.

It was as effective as an IVF clinic because often the whipping would lead to lots of sex. So anyway, we're going to tell more of the story and we're going to reenact some of it when we come back.

So don't come yet and don't go away. We'll be right back. I've just written a new book called The Bonobo Way inspired by my love for the make love, not war, great apes.

You know, the ones who have a lot of sex and a bonobo sutra of positions, including face to face. But it's not just how bonobos have sex. It's how they use sex to prevent murder and war, really.

They're the only great apes that have never been seen killing each other. They practice what I call peace through pleasure with the females gently dominating the very happy,

very sexually satisfied males. Bonobos are special, partly because they just are and partly because they're very, very close to us, almost 99% genetically similar to us

when it comes to being human, even being humane. Bonobos can teach us so much, which brings me to us and more specifically to you. Is your inner bonobo longing to swing free?

Would you like to tap into the hot, natural sex energy within you that you would so you can better enjoy the pleasures in life and cope with the pain, you know, the pain

and have more orgasmic, organic, sustainable sex. Who doesn't want that? Greater lust, greater trust and better anger management.

And who couldn't use a little bit of that these days? So get the book, Learn the Bonobo Way. You'll be glad you did. Then you'll want to join Bonoboville,

a new global village for Bonobo lovers and friends. And one last thing. The real Bonobos are highly endangered, so a portion of all book sales go to

Bonobo conservation groups working to save the wild Bonobos from extinction. Read the Bonobo Way and learn why this could be the most important

and eco-sexual movement of our times. And improve your love life. We're listening to Radio Suzy One on the World Wide Web. And now, here she is, Dr. Susan Block.

Loupercalia from the Love Church of the Bonobo Way in the village of Bonoboville. And we are gathered around all of us Suzy Award winners to celebrate the original Valentine's Day.

Loupercalia, the ancient pagan festival of vlogging, as well as many other things, Pam, Wolves. And we've got a bunch of Suzy Award winners here. And I didn't give the Suzy Award button,

and I don't know where the award itself went. Did somebody steal it? Oh, okay. Blossom!

People should, like, hold the award. Like, you know, they're at the Academy Awards. There you go. And straighten out the condom on the head.

The condom is now suffocating the... Oh, that's pretty good, though. It's like a rebreathe. That is good.

That's good balance there, kitty cat. Yep, you got it. Wow! All right.

But give it to her. That meaning Casey T. Girl, who... Thank you. ...is the winner.

What did you win? Best... Most congenial sex worker, which is very appropriate for Lupercalia

because Lupercalia is all about the Luper, which is the wolf, who is also the sex worker, the sacred sex worker.

So this is an important holiday for sex workers, I think. Because even though the boys were taken over, as you can tell,

here's your button. Yeah, they still had respect for the female energy, the goddess energy, and the sex worker.

They, you know... Of course they wanted to keep it on the slide because marriage was all about, you know, your property being passed on.

But they also honored the sex worker, and it's exemplified in Lupercalia, where the word Luper means both the wolf that nurtured the founders of ancient Rome,

and it also means sex worker. So maybe we can take a lesson from the, you know, the pre-ancients, really. Although the ancient Romans kept doing it,

they kept celebrating, until the church outlawed Lupercalia, and the people rebelled. They couldn't live without their festival.

So they said, all right, well we'll give you Valentine's Day. So you can drink, I guess, you know, and you can fall in love.

But of course the representative of Valentine's Day is St. Valentine, who not only isn't very real, I mean certainly no more real

than Romulus and Remus, but more than that, what he represents, he represents celibate love, you know.

He cures a blind, his jailer's blind daughters blindness just before he's executed for being a Christian.

And then she can read the little note that he sent her, which said something like, I love you, Valentine.

Aww, very, just so ideal. And the ideal is the enemy of the real. You know, as Captain Max has often said, as well as gergief in another form.

But yeah, the real is more lubricalia. That's kind of made up too, but a lot of real. And one real thing, as we were saying,

is that they had these ritual gatherings in caves, in a cave, a big cave, that was on the edge of Rome. Maybe they had them in some other caves too,

as it grew. But it became pretty big to the point where in that play, Julius Caesar that Shakespeare wrote,

yes, Mark Antony, who was a big fan of lubricalia, he presented Caesar with the crown and Caesar refused it like three times and then he finally took it.

And of course that was his demise. He was dead by the eyes of March. Right. They didn't like their, you know, kings.

I don't know how long Jeff Bezos would have survived. But anyway, Mark Antony was a great theatrical and he loved the lubricalia.

And so they kept practicing it, you know, into our written history. And so they would gather in this cave where the wolf was said to have suckled

Romulus and Remus. And they would put the symbol of lubricalia, which they never say what that is. I'm not sure if it's a heart.

I put a heart on my head and yet sometimes people want me to draw like an X or like a penis or something.

Or a V, like the V of the Crotch or a cross. Some people have asked me to do that. So it's not a tattoo, it's nothing.

It's just lipstick. In fact, thank you Gypsy for leaving your lipstick with Anna. And here we have Gypsy's lipstick

and I'm also wearing her snake bracelet. So who would like to be the first to be marked with blood of the goat? Come forth, she-god Claire.

Hotest Humiliatrix. And you must, I'm sorry, but bend down so that I can draw this. And can I have a microphone please

for she-god Humiliatrix. She-god Claire. Hotest Humiliatrix. You've got to get all the action here.

So, what symbol would you like me to draw on your head? And I'm not guaranteeing it's going to be perfect because the idea is the idea is not real.

But you can wash it off. Anything but a penis. Anything but a penis. No, really.

You want a heart? Yeah, sure. Do like a flower vagina. A flower vagina.

You want a flower? The two are two. I'll take a flower. You want a flower?

Yeah, a flower flower, blossom green. In a way, a flower is a little easier than a heart.

You can mess it up a lot. But it's nice. And a flower is certainly a symbol of Lupercali as well as Valentine's Day.

Can you put like a heart in the center? I can put a little heart in the center. Yeah, it almost looks like a butterfly actually. She's supposed to be a flower.

I'll take a flower. That's too complicated to put a heart in the middle. This is lipstick. This is not fine art paint.

Okay. Thank you. Thank you very much. You have been inducted

and you may pick a Jux Leather Flogger to run through the city, flogging. You can spank me with it.

I mean, you can spank yourself, you know. They probably did self-flagellation. Sounds fabulous. You can spank me with it.

But mainly they would run through the city and do this. So, okay, who's next? Who's next?

You, yes. Now you are no longer masked. What do you want? I would like an X.

An X. Okay, that is easy. By the way, please while you're waiting and you don't have to get one of these,

but I'll tell you, you look kind of weird with everybody with them and you're not and they're going to go, why isn't she wearing one?

You know, and besides, we're going to get real messed up now. We're going to get real messed up. Y'all look perfect before.

Okay, so you want an X. Yes, I'm asking for the X because it is the ruin that Norse sex workers wore on their...

Yes. You know, I've worn Xs myself for Lupercalia quite a bit. I like the X.

I just thought maybe the heart, you know. But anyway, the X is good. So... They believe that being marked with the X

ruin protected you from STDs. And also, the people in the south of France that Max is related to.

Here she is, Rhianna and Erin. I just think back in the day, when you had sex and they put an X on your doll,

there was... All right. You can use your fancy floggers. Don't worry, but you should...

These are the... Okay. What are these? These things...

They're bondage. They could be bondage, but really what they were... These are february.

You tie someone up with this. You whip them with it. Anyway, that's history. I'm not saying you can't be creative.

And you could tie people up with it. But this is what... Because it wasn't probably in all these colors. I don't think they dyed them.

But they would cut the skin of the goat. And... Yeah. The skin of the goat.

Did they dry it first? No, it's nice and juicy as well. They did it all in like one or two days. They were hanging out in the cave.

I don't think they stayed there that long. There was no sunlight. There was not... They were drinking.

They were eating goat meat. And drinking goat milk. And then they started flogging each other with the goat skin.

Who's next? Well, Romans know how to delegate. You are next. You are next.

You are next. All right. Here's our actual goat. Okay.

So what do you want? What do you want? Oh, whatever I want. How about a penis?

How about a penis? Okay. You want a penis? I don't want a penis.

She'll take the penis. I don't want to do something you really don't want. Although you are the funniest comedian. Make it a cute penis.

Make it a cute penis. Can you draw sunshine? Sunshine. Draw sun?

With rays? Yeah, yeah. Just draw sun. So let me...

The rays... That's gonna be too much. It's so good on you. Be careful.

Well, I mean, a sun just looks like a circle. Be careful. The rays. The rays are the thing.

Sunshine on a cloudy day. I think that's pretty good. All right. She's like, I'm satisfied.

Oh, you gotta show your... It's very cute. Aw, that's... Open your fur coat.

Oh, come on. It's an old fur coat. Beautiful self, sunshine. Come on.

You know you're a light. Just light up. You're beautiful. Whoo-hoo!

Sunshine! She brings sunshine. That was a good one. On a cloudy day.

Oh, and you didn't get a vlogger. Although I think you're gonna get vlogged. But you can have one anyway to do with your whatever. So pick a color.

It's your butterfly. Is there a yellow one? Is there a yellow one? Yep.

I don't know. Juxley made them. Is there a yellow one? Here you go.

There's some sunshine on a cloudy day. There's a glittery red one. Goddess, would you like to be marked? She's like, I'll take the glittery red one though.

It's a glittery red one. Well, here's the glittery red one. Maybe a little hard. And what would you like?

A little tiny hard. I'll make it very discreet or not. Depending on what you want. Three dots.

Three dots. Horizontal? Horizontal. Horizontal.

Okay, it's tribal. It's tribal shit here. Okay, we get tribal. Restitution tribe, isn't it?

Two dots? No, I'm serious. I can't remember what the tribe is. Let me even out the dots.

It's a prostitution tribe. Three dots. Because it's polyamorous. It's three, just not two.

Okay, three. Three dots. All right. Goddess Phoenix is a member of the Luper Kai.

And who else? Anybody else? Where's my kitty? Oh, how about Casey?

The most congenial sex worker. What symbol would you like on your head? A star. Here, let me have a microphone for Casey.

How you doing, Casey? Just wonderful. A star would be wonderful. A star, like a regular five-pointed star.

That's very good. A pentacle. That would be, I think, a symbol of a sex worker for a while. You know.

Okay. I mean, it sort of is, right? A symbol of a sex worker. Like a pentacle, yeah.

There she is. Show your boobs. Show your boobs. Show your boobs.

Show your boobs. That's why she's a star. A star has a lot of qualities. I like that.

All right. So, is anybody else? Blossom. Did Facebook actually see something?

You need to get one. What do you want? Talk on a microphone, young lady. You're going to get flocking.

I'll do. A crescent, like a moon? A crescent, like... Like a moon.

Just like... Like points going which way? Draw a flower. Do a flower.

A flower. Like a blossom. A small flower? Yeah, just like...

Awesome blossom. They call me awesome blossom. I'm whining all the time. This is not a very precise lipstick I have tonight.

But there she is. Awesome blossom. Beautiful. It's absolutely gorgeous.

It's absolutely perfect. All right. I saw somebody in the corner. It looked like Anna.

Anna, she wants to get lost. Did I do bratty wolfie? No. How could I leave out bratty wolfie?

Remus. My hot brother. Remus. Aren't you upset that he named her Rome?

Give her a microphone. How do you feel about that? I mean, you work just as hard. I'm very rude.

Very rude. All right, well... I'm sorry. That's the break sometimes.

All right. What do you want on your head? May I get a heart, too? Oh, yeah.

Or is that your signature one? No, no, no, no, no. I don't want to impede. Let's see.

You got the heart. You just got a flower. But yeah, you're going to get a heart. But that was his choice, you know?

So Remus is remembered with a certain... certain love and sympathy. Fawnness. And Romulus is like the power guy.

Last year when I was on the show, I got an upside down heart. And everyone asked me if it was a ball sack. Oh, yeah.

You know, a heart is really... It looks... I mean, a heart. Let me just get down on your knees, please.

The other way. Back down. The other way, please. Beautiful.

I just want to show where the heart comes from. The Valentine heart is nothing to do with the cardiac organ in our chest. It is to do with a heart-shaped ass. And this ass hasn't even been whipped very much yet.

But it will soon be read as a Valentine. And that is part of the meaning of lubricalia in this way. You know, that a lot of people would call kinky and just... I don't know, just perverted.

But that really releases a spirit, an animal spirit that needs to be released or else, if it's not, we get cyber madness. Look at Anna.

You want a heart? Oh, now you started a trend. Where did my lipstick go? Oh, there it is.

Okay, this... Come on over here. Oh, Anna looks beautiful. And she sacrificed this lipstick.

Not that you don't always look beautiful, but you know, you got makeup on. You're not going to get on your knees? Okay, it does make it easier.

I'm not trying to do a power trip. Well, maybe I am. Okay. So she is getting a heart and she deserves my heart.

Really. Anna. Love you. Love you.

Happy lubricalia. Look sexy. Hi, Miguel. You want one too?

For you. Okay. What do you want? Miguel here builds a...

What does he want? Does he want a heart? He'll get a heart. We vote for penis.

Everybody's getting a penis. You guys... No, I don't know if he wants a penis on his head. I'm just saying we vote for penis.

Ask him what he wants. Anna, can you add... I mean, this is Spanish speaking. Okay.

Okay. Condor. Condor. What is that?

A bird? A big bird? A condom? Yeah, the guy with the wings.

A condor. So like the seagull trick from grade school. Oh, like a carrot? I don't know if I could do that with lipstick.

All right, I'm going to try. I believe in you, Dr. Seagull. Don't they come and eat you when you're dead? Condors, like pigs.

If you die in their pen, they eat you. I don't know if that's a condor, but it's something with wings. It's something like that.

It's on the Mariposa. Okay. Oh, and you all get a piece of februa, which is where February comes from,

created by Juxley. Well, he didn't do them back in the Lupercalian days, but he's doing them for Bonoboville. Maybe in a past life.

Which is bringing back the Lupercalian. Yeah, maybe in a past life. You think you did it in a past life? Yeah.

He says yes. He seems like he would be a member of the Lupercalian. I'm not sure which brother. Yeah, so they had these different teams.

So now I think we need, now that we are appropriately decorated with the blood of the goat, and since the goat isn't really dead,

we're going to kind of practice for running out into the village. And we could have more than one goat. Okay.

I don't want all the whipping to go on one goat. So, but you are a goat, sunshine. Look at that. I did a good job on you.

Okay. So, you should get down on your knees, and then who else wants to be a sacrificial animal of some sort?

Any animal you could be. Oh, Braddy Wolfie. Well, you should put your headdress on. And maybe you should both face different directions.

And would you like to be a sacrificial something or other? Yeah. Why not? Get on your knees.

Why not? Let's do it. What the heck? So, maybe you could be in the back here, Casey.

And we can have Braddy Wolfie up there. And sunshine. Okay. But you're, you could, you could put.

And now, I mean, really, we should be using the february law. I will be a purist and use my february law. But I completely understand if you'd rather use

your exciting whips that you've got. So, I'm going to, now I wouldn't get my face too close to somebody else's ass. Because there's stuff flying.

So, I know it's not a lot of room. You might want to, okay, take a microphone if you want to talk. Here's a microphone.

And you should repeat that because nobody heard. Obviously, you never watch Centipede. Okay. All right.

And so, maybe we can have a little music of the kinkster at this point. Because the kinkster is inspired by the bonobo way. And it's by.

15 minutes. Carmina Formosa. Oh, 15 minutes. And then I got to be done.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Okay. Can we give me a little more time?

No? That's what he said. I'm not getting an answer. What are we doing?

That's what she said. Right. Well, I was just wondering if I could have a little more time.

Uh, we have to talk to the engineering department. Okay, would you talk to the engineering department? How much time? I don't know.

Maybe, um, two 15 minutes. Maybe half hour. Half hour. That would be ideal.

Ideal. Or more, but not. You're listening. Are you all listening to this?

Who's listening? The engineers. Oh, of course. They're not listening.

They're not listening? No, no. That's right. I have to go tell them.

Yeah, probably. Hey, engineer, come on out here. Can we take a little more time? They're arguing about it.

Maybe they are listening. In meantime, we should be whipping sacrificial goats. Right now. Hurry.

Hello. Yes. Yes, we have 15 more minutes. Well, I mean, can we have a half hour?

Less than a half hour, but more than 15 minutes. Let's make a deal here. More than 15 minutes, but less than half an hour. More than 15 minutes and less than a half an hour.

Boy, I'm going to have to take my frustrations out on the sacrificial goat. That's it. You naughty sacrificial goat. Bang, bang, bang.

I like the way Goddess Phoenix tied her february around her paddle because the february, you know, they're just light things. Anyway, moving right along the, you can keep flogging though. I'm going to sit down.

Although I'll keep flogging Casey. But you know, these Luperkai would be very drunk. And after all, you can only flog goats so long. So they would run out into the countryside flailing their february.

Really, there's, there's paintings of this. We can all, can we all do this? Can we like, even if you're subby or whatever, just, uh, lay all, you know, they, they'd be running through the streets or they didn't have streets, but, you know, the countryside

and they would flog, consensually of course, any people, usually women, you know, little sexist, but there were some men that would also get flogged. They would present their ass or their hands. And if they presented, look who's presenting.

Wow. Well, even the Trumpis is allowed to get some luck from the Luperkalia. Make sure he doesn't fall. Don't fall off the stage.

So they would run through the streets, flailing their Luperkalia, their february, and whipping the populace. And of course they would also go into Rome. The city that was founded by their great, great, great grandfathers.

Get out of my way, Trump. You're not only in my light. He's in Wacken. All right.

So did I tell you everything yet? Yes. You should keep up the whipping because this is basically what they did, you know, for maybe days.

It was around February 16th actually, which it is tonight if you're watching us live. And they would whip people and then they would have sex. At the party. And then there was usually a baby boom around harvest time, you know.

It was pretty much as effective as an IVF clinic. And everybody loved it. It was ruled by pan. It was crazy.

I mean, I'm not saying that sometimes bad things wouldn't happen. Like carnival is like weird things that happen. And yeah, people, people get into trouble, you know, and there is a lot of murdering in the story.

But let's face it, there's more murdering than ever. Speaking of which now every Valentine's Day, I think what I'm going to think about the mass murder in Florida, the Marjorie Stoneman high kids who are so inspiring that they stand against,

you know, the gun may have the Ammo sexuals. Oh, everybody got upset with me for saying Ammo sexual in that salon interview. When I said some men are using their guns as to substitute for their nonworking penises. They went nuts.

And I guess I can see why. But I thought it was, you know, funny and true. Why shouldn't you say things that are funny and true? It's funny and true.

You hit a chord and that's why people freak out. I hit a chord, right? I know, but it's freaky to me. I don't know.

I don't intend to harm people, but I do. You know, I want them to lay down their guns and pick up dildos and vibrators and februah, you know. And so I have lupacalia and I love to celebrate.

So, yeah, the Valentine's Day is massacre, I think of it as. And Trump didn't even mention it, of course. I don't think so. No, he's totally into Nile about that.

No, he just talked about his national emergency for a wall. The wall that caused Romulus to murder Remus, something he regretted. I believe he regretted it.

I think that's true. I did. I miss my hot brother. Yeah.

But you know, you felt like, hey, I'm the one that's living. I might as well name the city after me. Why not? Why not?

And probably you had to do a lot more work. No, well, I guess that. Yes. It looks like Remus has become a little slave girl

to her mother, really. I guess that is her mother. We like to call her mommy. Queen Rea Sylvia played by Goddess Phoenix,

and she's beautifully balancing the glass of ambrosia. What a good girl this is. On her paddle. She is a very good girl.

She won Best Subby, and you can see why. Not only is she got a heart-shaped ass that's very spankable, but, you know, she's a good girl. She can hold that thing.

So, okay. So anyway, have I said anything? I think we're going to have a soul. Right?

Right? I think we're going to just try to see if I can lift anything up. Can I solicit some assistance for our next project? Absolutely.

Go right ahead. So I am producing and acting in a short film written by Dana Hammer, who's over there on the couch. Hi, Dana.

And executive produced by Tim Zool. Tim Zool, who just played Trump. Yeah. But it is a short horror comedy.

And I have asked Ron Jeremy to wear a spider suit for us. You can go to the GoFundMe at thespidermovie.com, and we have some limited edition posters and some other stuff left.

Okay. Yes. Speak. Hi.

I'm the writer of the story. Wow. And what she just said, yeah. So if you go to our GoFundMe and contribute,

that would be fantastic. It's going to be a really funny, awesome movie. You have a really funny, awesome voice. It sounds like you're a cartoon character.

Right? Am I wrong? I didn't mean that. Your voice is really cute.

Well, thank you. Yeah. You're not cute to look at. Thank you.

Okay. Well, good. Okay. GoFundMe.

Explain that again. You can go to thespidermovie.com, and it will take you to the GoFundMe. It's possible that some of it will be filmed in Bonoboville?

Yes. We have asked Bonoboville to do a cameo, and so I have these scripts to... A cameo.

Well, it's a seven-minute film, so a cameo is actually quite a large portion of this movie. All right. That's pretty good.

We're not going to be the stars of the film. Okay. It's okay. We love to be cameos.

So I don't want to leave you out. Do you want a heart on your head? Or something? Sure.

An X? Yeah. Come on over here. Do you mind kneeling?

The story of this movie is based on... Okay. And what would you like? An X?

Or a heart? X. X. That's easier, actually.

Boom and bum. Yeah. Done. All right.

Boom, done. I'm Ron Jeremy. Ron Jeremy. The story this movie is based on is truly terrifying.

Won't you help these ladies make their movie? It also stars me as the spider. Check this out. I also do weddings by messengers and funerals.

Absolutely. And... Either way, I bring money. All right.

Spider is a short film based on my original short story, also called Spider. It's about Roxanne, a woman who comes home after having too much to drink and has to battle a giant spider. She tries to call for help, but nobody feels sorry for a drunk woman who's scared of a spider.

Rianna plays drunk very well. Thank you. Lisa, there's a giant spider in my apartment. No.

No, a giant spider. It's like a great, dame-sized spider. I need more of a quirky-sized spider. It's a quirky-sized spider.

Hi, I'm Rianna Narens. And I'm Dana Hammer. We'd like you to help us with our short film, Spider, directed by Dulce and Esther Selle. Give us money.

Go right to it. Dana, yes, is an excellent fundraiser because she's very direct. That's great. Yes.

Very direct. There's no guesswork there. All right. Very good.

All right. Now I've lost more of my time, though. But that's all right. This is Wolf Knight.

That's great. And I think we're going to continue the flogging into the village. We maybe should move the chairs so that people, unless people want to flog from the chair, if there are lazy floggers, but you know, you could also do it from the bed.

And I am now going to move my clipboard if someone would be so kind as to move it for me. Do you know where my clipboard is? You know, I know people are whispering helplessly. Where is my assistance?

My help. All right. Okay. But I don't know if she knows where to put it.

I guess you have to put it over there. Not this. Let's just put that here. Eight minutes.

Just take this away. Eight minutes. And Ecor the Wolf should come forward. You have eight minutes.

And we can have other villagers also come forward, such as Jack Nice is here. Jack Nice was a bonobo, is a bonobo. I mean, he used to be like in the Bonoboville village.

He used to watch the show when he was a little kid. And then there's that. And he and Tim became brilliant. Defended me against the Trumpers.

So do you want to come up here? Are you ready to be a villager? Yeah, sure. So now, I mean, you guys that are sitting,

it would be nice if you would either be kneeling or vlogging. Preferably standing. And so we should move the chairs.

Who is good at moving chairs away? Oh, you're wearing a red shirt. Very Valentine. We've only got about four minutes.

Well, he's going to do the short version. All right. The short version. Yeah.

I don't know. I'm going to do my usual thing. That one's very heavy. Well, not my usual thing,

but I started doing it last week and I thought it seemed like a good idea where I get up on the bed without my high heels on.

Whoa. And I am going to... Oh, here's Bezos, right? Does everybody get a Bezos picture?

That's his pecker. And so here's E.Core the Wolf because this is a holiday of wolves. Okay, but we should move this chair too

because people will have more room. Dr. Suzy, we're almost out. Well, okay. He's coming in.

I need the mic. Hey, the mic. Look, look. Go on, let it go, A.

Everybody step in Nobleville. Come on, I can't hear y'all. Everybody step in Nobleville. In Nobleville.

Y'all off beat. Come on, A, let's go. Look, look how she shaped that thing. Yeah.

Come on, give me some volume. Yeah, that girl can go. Come on, look how she shaped that thing. Look how she moved that thing.

Look how she make it bounce. Yeah, that girl can go. She got me watching, like when stalking within a smooth way.

She made me say, damn, kick like damn, ten times on me. Set it up, give a dollar, baby. I don't know what I'm doing.

That's to make my friends know and I'm gonna walk off wrong. But now I'm in your home. Hey, hit Jack.

I'm going by the way he moved that thing. Shake that thing. Make it bang. The whole room shake from the half wing.

Damn, baby, you got that pop. That's still the show. Get low. Everybody on the bro.

Get it back, that thing. Up, man. She bad. Look how she shaped that thing.

Come on, look how she make it bounce. Look how she drop it low. Shake it, hey. That girl can go.

Come on, look how she shaped that thing. Look how she moved that thing. Look how she make it bounce. Bang.

Everybody stop. Look at them pop. Some things. Bang.

God, I'm ready to spin some dope. Oh, yeah. We up the bonobo. Uh-huh.

It's showing me love. Dr. Dr. Dr. With a freaky lap. 10-slap.

10s with the bands. I don't even know. But this night the show. That deal.

She ill. She said to keep your bills and strap on. Hold on real tight. Two B stars and ride this deal.

I made it for the whole night. So give it to me. Let me have it no static. I got this one in the car.

Right shit. Yes, sir. I ain't lying. I'm fine.

She got it like that. She bad. She bad. Look how she say that bed.

Look how she make even bang. From surprise . That girl go chill. She bad.

Look how she say that day. She bad. Look how she move thatiche. Look how she make it bang.

That girl can go. Don't stop. But she got me turned by the way she Die. Party away C.

Popping out me. Yea. How so though. And stop.

Go work that bywork a party. On her own body. Cause everybody watcheshao. You doing well.

Thanks. Okay. That thing make it bang, bang, bang I'm so messin' ride, so hypnotized

By the way she shake her ass and thighs Gave me a ride, so I had to buy One round, she put it down But she kept me up all night

This chick, she bang She the palm, yes She dyin' over Mike Look how she shake that thing

Look how she make it bang Look how she drop it, look Ooh, yeah Guy this is gonna lose

Be takin' it, watch She shakin' it, back that thing up like she bang

Look how she shake that thing Look how she make it bang Look how she drop it, look Yeah, that girl, girl

Look how she shake that thing Look how she move that thing Look how she make it bang Yeah, that girl, girl

Dabi he's bad She bad, yeah She's bad, yeah Rihanna, she back

Woo! Yes, Bino Bozu! It's Bino Bozu! Bopla!

Night of the Wolf. Lupercalia in Bino Bozu. I'm Roddy Wolfie. Wow.

Okay, we're celebrating Lupercalia. And it's a lot of fun and we could keep going. Careful, careful. But we have no more time.

And so now, we're going to say farewell. Well, do we have time for people to say goodbye? I don't even actually know. Can we find these things out?

You have two minutes. Two minutes, too hard. Two minutes on this. OK.

Two minutes. Does anybody really have something they've got to say that they haven't said? Otherwise, I'll just introduce you

if you would give me one of those waters. You have two minutes. I'm sure one of them is from last week. Hopefully, I've got the one from this week.

I don't think so. There's more in there. Yeah, more. OK.

So now, anybody have to say something that they would feel really bad if they were getting there? I love the Bonoboville show. I love Dr. Black Susan Black's show.

I don't have time. I'll do it in the after party. OK. What are we down to?

One. And don't talk off the mic. Or you didn't even spew it here in the fogging ceremony. So you didn't even say that.

OK, one minute, one minute. Goddess Phoenix and Queen Reya Sylvia, really punishing her child, Remus, played by Braddy Wolfie. Who was raided by a wolf, so she knows the part.

No, you have to use the mic. Come visit me at Sanctuary. OK. Professional submissive.

OK. Come speak. She's amazing. Come see her at Sanctuary.

Should they come see you too? You can come see me too. I'm Goddess Phoenix. OK.

You can find me on the internet. All right. And we have E.Core the Wolf. Did I already talk about you?

Yeah, well, anyway, he's like the rap star of Bonoboville. And he has a show called E.Core the Wolf. Yeah, I have the Wolf's Day and every first Friday of the month.

Marijuana just every Friday at 4 p.m. All right. 2NN, vibrationfrequency.com, vibrationfrequency.com. And we got she got Claire there, hottest humiliatrix,

playing Romulus, the founder of Rome. And Tim is here without his Trump mask. And by the way, we should say thank you to Tim, as well as thank you to Dominatrix's against Donald

Trump, because they brought, well, I don't know. Yeah, kind of brought Tim, or yeah, I didn't brought Tim. But anyway, we miss them. They haven't been here for a while.

Mistress Tara, and hopefully they'll be back. They won something. Best political dominatrixes. Most Bonobo resistance movement.

See, I was thinking straighter then. Yeah, most Bonobo resistance movement. So Mistress Tara and Dominatrix's against Donald Trump are an amazing group.

We've got a few videos with them. Yes, especially the Russian hooker parties. Pea parties, I should say. Russian hooker pee parties.

Yeah, there's the kind of fun. If you're integral to showers. Anyway, who else? Oh, KCT girl, who is KCT day on Twitter.

Do you want to say something? Stuff? Thank you, Dr. Sheezy. I love him in there.

Thank you for joining us and playing the river. All right, and we have Rhianna and Aaron. I kind of already talked about you, but you get another round of applause.

And you should all grow money at her, because she said to. And that's a funny movie, and Ron Jeremy, don't you want to support Ron Jeremy? Well, maybe you don't, but if you do,

you should throw money at this movie, because it could help his career, which needs a little help right now. But I mean, he's a very funny guy,

in addition to being a schlung. And another schlung, who didn't show a schlung tonight, is Jack Nice. So, we're so happy that you celebrated

Luper Calia with us. And soon, we're going to have this spank magazine. It's got many of the people in this room, but also people from all over our lives,

through the years, through a few decades. And we're very proud of it. And it's wild. It's full of wildness.

It's kind of a little wilder than splosh. My boobs are in it at least six times. For, yeah, you saw that. Well, wouldn't you put your boobs in a lot?

I mean, it's 12 times. And then spanking one, yeah. Yeah. So check it out.

She's on the other side. And soon, it will be available on Bezosan. Anyway, the best thing about him is he showed his dick, and then he went after the fucking national inquirer,

Trump's pecker. But, you know, he's kind of a bastard. He just backed out on New York. I mean, he played him.

And then he went, oh, I can't stand the protests. Why don't you try to do something for the people? They're protesting because you have bad labor practices. So anyway, I don't know.

But he did write a great letter. And my god, he trumped Trump's pecker. Like telly Savalas on that one. Yeah, he is like telly Savalas.

His face looks like a dickhead, right? OK. Anyway, I got to end. I'm just recording here with all the Facebookers.

OK, where are my shoes? What are you looking for, your shoes? Yeah, my shoes. Lost your shoes.

This is a high class operation. Thank you. We got going. Yeah.

Can you give me one of those books so I can? Where's the microphone? No, where's my shoes? So there's a reason.

To find both of them. That, well, there's many reasons I love Lupercalia. But one of the things that really hit home. Pull up your mic a little.

Thank you. Now you have your mic. My mic, I saw my hat. I think juxtapes cookies are taking effect.

Oh, that's what's going on. That's what's happening. I am a victim of not just Trump, but the whole capitalist craziness that has polluted our heirs

and created many respiratory problems. And I have some more than one. But you know, I'm here. And a lot of people, I guess I'm connecting with people

with these respiratory problems right now. Because the air is so bad from the fires to the pollution to the dogs barking. Anyway, we got to get back to nature.

I love those kids that protested in England or wherever they were and took a day off of school and, you know, they said, oh, that's so bad. They said, you did bad for 30 years.

You had a chance. Anyway, follow the bonobo way. They are the original eco-sexuals. They are kiss and cousins.

They make love, not war. And they empower the females. But the males are happy. And they are the creatures of Pan, Panpaniscus, the Lupercalians.

Support the bonobos. They are actually now Valentine's Day is World Bonobo Day. So, you know, that's good. That helps.

That helps with this sick, just fake romance, sugar riddled, pressure fake holiday that's really not the real thing. The real thing is Lupercalia at the bonobo. So follow the bonobo way.

Make love, not war. Make love to someone you love tonight, even if that someone is you. Yeah, you can be your own Lupercalian lover.

I love you. Woo! If you want to talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else, you can talk to us.

I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airway. But my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy over the phone.

Any time you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination, my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away.

Totally private, absolutely confidential. Listen, talk with you, advise you. Role play for you, fantasize with you. No fantasy is too taboo and help you with anything

from impotence to exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. The more information, call us at 213-291-9497. Yeah, now I know.

That's 213-291-9497 anytime you need to talk. Okay, now get to whatever you have to do. You're listening to Radio Suzy 1 on the World Wide Web. Need to talk with someone about something

you can't talk about with anyone else? You can talk with us. I'm Dr. Susan Block, your mistress of the airwaves, but my day job is director of the Dr. Susan Block Institute

for the Erotic Arts and Sciences, specializing in sex therapy over the phone. Any time you need to talk, whether you need serious psychotherapy or a hot phone sex experience or a combination,

my world-renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away. Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you, role play for you,

and fantasize with you, and no fantasy is too taboo. And we help you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism, fears to desires, fetishes to marriages. If you've never called before, don't be embarrassed.

We all need help with sex at one time or another. Even world leaders do. Maybe especially world leaders do, but I'm not going to tell you which ones.

So, when you need to ask a question or play out a fantasy or just talk with someone about something you can't talk about with anyone else, call us at 213-291-9497 anytime you need to talk.

Hi, I'm Dr. Susan Block, and I've just written a new book called The Bonobo Way, inspired by my love for the make love, not war, great apes. You know, the ones who have a lot of sex in a bonobo sutra of positions,

including face to face. But it's not just how bonobos have sex. It's how they use sex to prevent murder and war, really. They're the only great apes that have never been seen killing each other.

They practice what I call peace through pleasure. With the females gently dominating the very happy, very sexually satisfied males, bonobos are special partly because they just are,

and partly because they're very, very close to us, almost 99% genetically similar to us. When it comes to being human, even being humane, bonobos can teach us so much,

which brings me to us and more specifically to you. Is your inner bonobo longing to swing free? Would you like to tap into the hot, natural sex energy within you? Bet you would.

So you can better enjoy the pleasures in life and cope with the pain. You know, the pain. And have more orgasmic, organic, sustainable sex. Who doesn't want that?

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Then you'll want to join Bonoboville, a new global village for bonobo lovers and friends. And one last thing, the real bonobos are highly endangered, so a portion of all book sales go to bonobo conservation groups

working to save the wild bonobos from extinction, read the bonobo way, and learn why this could be the most important eco-sexual movement of our times.

And improve your love life.