The “sexy schoolgirl” look is one of the world’s most ubiquitous and beloved clothing-oriented fetishes. Oh, those little plaid skirts, crisp white blouses, flirty sailor bloomers, restrictive ties, childlike knee socks and other school uniform accoutrements! How they stir feelings of arousal, nostalgia, innocence, sweet frustration (aka “tease and denial”) and titillating naughtiness in the uniform wearer (who could be female, male or transgender) and the partner (who might “play” a teacher, dominant disciplinarian or other school authority), as well as the schoolgirl uniform-loving voyeur. Our dear friend Master D, prominent dominant in LA’s BDSM scene and grandson of Australia’s late legendary nightclub king, Abe “Mr. Sin” Saffron, has been a passionate fan of the schoolgirl look since he himself was a schoolboy. So on the occasion of his 40th birthday, I dressed up as a sexy “head mistress” schoolteacher (complete with short houndstooth plaid skirt, professorial sweater, Sex Week at Yale hat and thong) and transformed the Womb Room into a College of Carnal Knowledge filled with a dizzying array of short plaid skirts, Spongebob shirts, raging hormones, various corporal punishments and lessons in love. Tonight’s standardized test: LAPDANCING. Pay attention or get spanking detention! Note: Though there are indeed actual “schoolgirls” in attendance for the festivities, they are all college or post-graduate students over the age of 18. By putting on this schoolgirl-themed show and party, we are in no way trying to encourage or “play into” society’s eroticization of underage girls. We are just responding to it—since we can’t help but be affected by it—by outfitting grown women (and men) in the titillating garb that so many twisted cultures around the world encourage us to desire but forbid us to touch.