EGGS ‘n’ BALLS

Full transcript of EGGS ‘n’ BALLS on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

You're listening to Radio Suzy One on the World Wide Web and now here she is, Dr. Susan Block. Brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners, artists and exhibitionists, voyeurs and connoisseurs, all you children of sex and we are all children of sex. We may or may not be children of God, Jesus, Adonai Elohenu, Adonai Akkad, Allah, Brahma,

or Buddha, or Demeter, Gaia, mother of us all. We have many names, but one thing we know we are all children of, and that is sex. Brothers and sisters, lovers and sinners. And sex is what we talk about here on the Dr. Susan Block show, broadcasting live from Bonoboville.

Yes indeed, and tonight if you are listening to me live, it's the convergence of spring holidays. Yes indeed, it's Easter Eve, the resurrection is upon us, yes. And it's Passover, second night, Seder time.

And actually, Seder time is part of Easter, the Last Supper is a Seder. So we're going to have a little Last Supper Seder here, an erotic, quasi-icosexual Last Supper Seder here from the Garden of Eden where I'm broadcasting live with Eve. I'm not Adam, Eve is my snake actually.

And she's here to celebrate Passover and Easter. And Dionysia, of course, absolutely, an earlier spring holiday that we're going to celebrate tonight. It's one of those very sort of family nights, I guess you could say. Here, the Bonoboville family at the Villa Bonobo.

I'm here with Captain Max, my darling, my Adam to Eve. Hey doctor. Hey baby. How you doing?

Chag Sameach Pesach. Yeah, Chag Sameach. Sounds like we have to blow our nose. Oh yeah, and Happy Easter.

And you know, there isn't a Muslim holiday right around now except for Persian New Year is sort of around now. Well, it's kind of past, but it is a spring holiday, but I don't know of another Muslim holiday and I don't want to leave out the Muslims and maybe ISIS will come after me or something. So if you know of one that is in the spring that I'm ignoring somehow, ignorantly,

then I hope you give me a call, you who are out there celebrating from afar. Our number is 310-568-0066. You can also give me a call just to talk about the holidays. Spring has sprung.

We've already celebrated the spring equinox with a bevy of beauties here in Bonoboville and next week we'll have another bevy for our 23rd wedding anniversary of Bonoboesque love and marriage. Captain Max. Yeah, we got a rise out of the small crowd for that.

Yeah, good. All right. Yes, Skye, 23 years of Bonoboesque. That's impressive.

You know, I know I'm the flusy Susie, but I'm also the good wife, married 23 years and every year we celebrate Passover and Easter too because Easter is sort of part of Passover, really. So we're going to have some fun. And one of your anniversary presents, Captain Max, is that the week after our anniversary

we're going to have a very special guest here in Bonoboville, aren't we? Yes, we are. We're going to have... Very excited to have Abby Martin. The wonderful, radical, Abby Martin from...

So excited. I have her bag right here. Yeah, look at that. That's her bag. That's her bag.

And soon we're going to have her here. And we're very excited to interview her about politics and sociology and Bonobos and art. She's also having a show at, it's called Lab, The Lab. In Ventura.

In Ventura. Yeah, so you can go see her there. And then she's going to be here. So we're very excited.

She is one of the few newscasters that I have some respect for. Yeah, she's really amazing. The truth well told. The amount of coverage she's done while doing this show is just extraordinary.

And she's very dynamic and incredible. And always for peace. That's one thing. Always for peace.

I just always admire her. She's not on really one side or another except for peace. So let's see, after that we're going to maybe go to the Zorthian Ranch for their primavera. We just got back in touch with the Zorthian people.

So we're excited. But tonight it's just us. Although I want to announce some staff members that are participating such as my background music here from Jack Nice.

Yes, playing the Ood. And it's very appropriate because it's kind of a Middle Eastern instrument, I guess. And I think he's playing some kind of Syrian Eastern music. So hopefully that'll calm down any terrorists that might be around.

It's, you know, Eastern music. So resurrection time. Absolutely. This is a time that we celebrate the rebirth of Mother Earth.

Yes. And yet it is a holiday that has become the celebration of a father coming together with his holy son in heaven. So there's an interesting juxtaposition of images and holidays here. Wait a minute.

There's a son coming together with his father? Well, the son, yes. Jesus, you would say. I'm not going to deliver any pizza to them.

Well. That sounds very, you know, strange. Well, Jesus, I have a cross here. It happens to be a dildo cross.

I told you this is the erotic, eco-sexual sader with Bonoboville Communion. I apologize in advance for offending anyone's religion. I think you'll find if you continue to listen, I will offend kind of everyone's religion. But it could be that when I offend yours, it'll really hurt you.

And in that case, I would just suggest you change the channel, you know? Come back when we talk about sex more. Although we're going to be talking about sex tonight, we're also going to be talking about God. And sex and God are very much at odds.

Although they are really opposite sides of the same passion. For whom do we call out in the throes of sexual passion? But God, baby God, baby God. And God, well, has a lot to do with sex.

Certain gods are very sex positive, you could say. And certain gods are kind of sex negative. And, well, yeah, the Judeo-Christian Islamo God and Jesus. And I guess, you know, all the gods that go along with that.

Saints, if you're Catholic and if you're Jewish, there's not supposed to be any other gods. But there are prophets. And then there are pretty sex negative, I would say. But spring has sprung.

And we have our Seder plate overflowing with symbolic foods. And some of them are ritualistic. And some of them are just whimsical on my part. So I'm going to explain them in a moment.

But let's see. I'd like to get some more people up here with me, I see in my little audience. Because really, I mean, all these holidays are a time to share with people. And I know I'm sharing with everyone out there in Radio Suzy One Land.

But I also want to share with a couple people in here. So Chelsea Demoiselle is quite appropriately attired in a bikini for Seder and Easter. Okay, so we don't need the towel anymore. Evie's been a good girl.

And here she is, Chelsea. All right, you can grab a microphone so you can have one, you know, for this Seder that we're going to have. We have the Last Supper Seder that combines symbols of Easter

and Passover and Dionysia and the Noboville. Wow, look at this. This is amazing. Yeah, yeah, it's great. Well, first of all, we have the wine,

which is this incredibly sweet wine guaranteed to make you diabetic. It is Manichevitz. But this is what you drink on Passover, even if you're six years old. Well, maybe now they give them grape juice, you know, because this,

but it tastes like grape juice and it's like, you know, a lot more alcoholic than regular wine too. So it's good for you. Oh, I see.

Yeah. And you're supposed to drink four cups of wine, brothers and sisters, for the Seder. So we'll see, you know, the Noboville Communion.

So Eve, you know what, Eve? I'm going to let you look amongst everything, but don't you dare? Eve. Yeah. Okay.

Give it your blessing. And did we get one picture with Eve or you're going to, I want the family photographer, Larotique. Yeah.

You could talk while I'm doing this, actually. No, not you, because you don't have a mic. Chelsea. Yeah.

And the music. Let's hear some more music. The ood. Just happy Passover.

Happy Seder. Happy Easter to everybody. If you're tuning into the show, I hope you're some of the followers on Facebook are joining in tonight and checking it out.

And just as a small Bonoboville family, Seder family Easter with the spin totally on the female goddesses. If you saw the YouTube video that just got put out, I saw that I really liked it and shared it around already to the

Goddess Gathering and Tantra groups on Facebook. So the idea of the video that we just posted, which is called Persephone Rising is that Easter celebrates, of course, let me see.

Do I have a plate? Yeah. We do have a plate as it's abundance. Oh, here he is.

Of the Goddess. Jesus. And Jesus. Rising, you know, up from the dead.

After all, he supposedly died on the cross. Like a zombie. No, well, like for us, you know, like a God, like a, like a definitely a God and for our sins, absolutely for our

sins and rose up to heaven, the Holy Son to meet his Holy Father. And this is a cornerstone of Easter. But was Jesus Christ the first human God because he's

kind of a human God to rise up, be born again in spring? No brothers and sisters. In case you haven't already seen the answer. No, no, no.

Probably there were lots of others before this, but one that we really learn about in Greek mythology, but maybe don't always associate with Jesus is Persephone, who is the daughter, the Holy Daughter of Demeter,

the Goddess of the Earth, you know, and Mother Goddess, Mama Earth. Mama baby. And one day she is abducted, raped, I think, by Hades,

the bad boy of the underworld. And you know, she's upset and everything, but you know, sometimes girls fall for bad boys. Kind of hot actually, I know.

You know, and sometimes girls like want to get away from their moms and who knows whether this was a real rape or sort of a 50 shades of Greek mythology thing, but Hades carries her off and down to the underworld

where she's like miserable and doesn't eat anything for a while and you know, sort of pouts. And of course, Demeter is so upset, the world, which until then had always been in springtime,

is bereft of her care and it just becomes totally, totally barren and she pleads with Zeus, her brother, the God in the sky, not quite so powerful as the Judeo-Christian God

since there's all these other gods, but still pretty powerful. And he says, all right, I'm going to let you have your daughter back if she hasn't eaten anything,

but of course she has, you know, the six pomegranate seeds, remember, and yeah, so she does rise up through elusis, the mysteries of elusis, and she is born again because she was down in the land of death.

She's born again like Jesus, but instead of returning the Holy Son to his father, it's the holy daughter to her mother who showers the world in spring.

And that's that story. I would agree, that's hot too. It's a hot story, you know, kind of hot. And mother-daughter stuff.

Hopeless guys that like that. No, I'm kidding. Anyways, don't anybody ever say I don't honor the mother.

Although I did love the article by MG Lord about just the validity of being child-free like some of us are. But, you know, honor the mother,

the mother of spring, Demeter, Demeter, yes, and Dionysus. We're going to talk about Dionysus in a little while, but I want to get back to the Judeo-Christian stuff,

but I just want to show you the grapes. And of course, speaking of Dionysus, the wine, the wine, he is the god of wine. So, yeah, let's see.

So the first thing you do is you have to light the candle. Does anybody have a lighter? Lighter? Yeah.

So we don't have like a bunch of... Conza has a lighter. We're supposed to have like these tapered candles or Easter candles,

but we have a cock candle, right? Okay, so, you know, that's... Bonoboville. This is Passover and Easter in Bonoboville.

Baruch atadonai. Eloheinu melecholam. Asher kitchanobomitzvotam. Vitsivanu lahadlikne'er.

Shalpeisach. The Easter. The Dionysia. Amen.

Amen. Yeah. All right. So, I don't know.

We'll keep it here for a little bit. Maybe it'll have to go somewhere else. But the candle is a very important part of the holiday. And it's kind of sexy, you know.

It's a nighttime thing. Holidays often go on at night. So you light the candles for Seder. So let's see.

So what do we have on the plate here? We have a Seder plate that has a lot of symbolic stuff that we're going to ingest, Chelsea. Are you ready?

Parsley? Parsley. Okay, so let's start. How did you know?

Because I told you I've been to Seder's, you know. Yeah. Quite a few. Well, I mean the whipping isn't done at every Seder.

Okay. But I mean the parsley is done at every Seder. The parsley or celery, we have both. That you use to represent the green.

What is that music? That's not you, right? We have some extra stuff. Is this something that Abe has brought in for ethnic kind of ambiance?

All right. I'm into it. Okay. So we got this, sounds Arabian, you know.

That's cool. All right. Well, what is, can we hear, can we know what we're listening to here? This is very Arabian.

What is this? Is it Egyptian? Egyptian music. Okay.

And do you know that the story of Passover begins in Egypt, of course. Everybody knew that, right? You know that. You're part Jewish and part Eastern.

Yes. Part Darnesian also. Yes. Which part is which?

Oh, I grew up Quaker. Right. And then in my teens became more Wiccan and pagan. Right.

And then in my adult life started getting invited to Seder's and Shabbat. Ah, boyfriends and stuff. And pro counseling, social justice groups invited me to that. Right.

Well, you know, Jews are often involved in this social justice stuff, even though we're also the cause of some social injustice. You know, we're on both sides. So here we are.

We have our symbol of spring. I think it's universal. It's green. We could have, you know, hemp there too, for that matter.

But we do have parsley and we eat it with salt water. So we're going to have a little piece right now. Okay. Oh, thanks.

And we dip it in the salt water. Salt is something that we use a lot here in Bonoboville. We use it in Bonoboville communion as well. So you can dip it, but don't eat it yet.

I will say a little prayer. You know that. Maybe it's a breath pressure. You're supposed to eat it at the beginning.

Right. You're supposed to actually have your first glass of wine in the beginning. Are you drinking wine these days?

Well, maybe for tonight. All right. Maybe for tonight. All right.

Let me get through the whole description of everything here. Or maybe not. Maybe we should just keep going. Although I do want to say we've got a combination of Jewish

Passover stuff and Easter Christian stuff and Dainesean and Bonoboville. And ultimately this evening is eggs and balls. Right?

Yeah. We also have malt Easter eggs. Malt Easter eggs. Yeah.

They're good. Tasty. Right. We have the.

Whoops. Landed in the salt. The Easter egg. And the matzah ball.

Right. Yeah. So we have matzah ball soup and Easter eggs. And the egg is another symbol of the Seder.

It's a symbol of spring. It's a symbol of sex. The egg. Actually this is the goal in the sperm war, right?

In femininity or to wipe each other out. The sperm are wiping each other out to try to get to the egg. You know it's best to keep the wars to the sperm and stop the wars between the people.

That's what we say here in Bonoboville. Just stir up those sperm wars and stop those real wars. And so matzah balls and Easter eggs. And this is a burned egg.

You burned the egg, right, Max? Yeah. Okay. Max is my important.

Bola Busta. I burned the egg. Yeah. Good boy.

Are you eating the matzah ball soup? No. I'm eating malt Easter eggs. I'm really crunchy.

You're supposed to do this Seder in order and not really eat until the parts you're supposed to eat. This is not really eating. I know.

We're having a really kind of laid back last supper tonight. And hopefully it won't be our very last. So. Absolutely not.

A loser just walked in. The devil is here as well. Ah, the devil. Loser, come join us for Easter eggs and matzah balls.

I'm not camera ready this week. Oh, well, that's okay. I'm appearing via satellite. We know, we know, but.

Actually in Norway. Yeah. I'm only. Oh, you're really in Norway?

Yes. Oh, cool. I'm only, I'm doing voiceover work this week. Well, do you like our table?

I love how it looks on television, yeah. Yeah. Well, of course, it's got Easter eggs and matzah balls and haro set.

It looks legit. It looks pretty legit. Looks legit. Looks legit.

This thing that looks like a parfait, an ice cream parfait is really an ice cream parfait. Yeah. Poor thought.

We're going to have Jack have a bite. Right? Mmm. Yummy, yummy.

Yummy. So, so yeah. So I guess we're ready for the first glass of wine. We already had the parsley loser.

You missed that. But you're just in time for the Manichevitz, which I'm sure you don't drink now that you're no longer an Orthodox Jew.

No, I'm doing, I'm doing a Mexican Manichevitz. Is that beer? It's corona. Okay.

Yeah. I knew it. Right. Okay.

So here we go. Don't drink it yet. You're actually supposed to drink a whole glass. And, you know, I think we should combine the wine

with Bonoboville communion. All right. Are you ready? Yeah.

You know the little problem with my mouth. Okay. But otherwise everything else is ready. I will take Bonoboville communion from you.

And perhaps you will simply drink your wine. So Chelsea had a little spill today. Yeah. It's been one of those days, brothers and sisters,

our guests are not here. But you know what? That kind of fits because our guests are invisible, like Elijah.

And there is a practice on the Seder, which is that you have a special guest, the prophet Elijah. Yes.

Everyone knows who that is. He's like the big prophet in Judaism. And he's supposed to enter your Seder table, but you never see him.

Yeah. But leave the door open. You leave the door open. Right.

It's one of the first lies I learned as a little child. Right? Right? There's many lies that religion teaches you.

Many lies. And the bigger the religion, the bigger the lies. A lot of people are really after Scientology these days

because they have an HBO documentary about how awful they are. And I have no doubt that they are awful and that they tell lies

and that they threaten people that, you know, give them trouble. But I've never heard of them killing anybody. I mean, maybe I'm missing something.

Max, have the Scientologists killed anybody? I mean, there might be one or two murder cases, but nothing compared to the, of course, Catholic stuff. Well, the Catholic stuff,

and then let's just go to Israel and look at all the bomb dropping that my fellow Jews are doing, the Israelis. I mean, there's a couple of missing persons

from Scientology. Missing persons. There's a couple of people who are unaccounted for. And there's also the deaths at Narcanan.

Narcanan. Narcanan, which is like their drug rehabilitation centers. Ah, okay. So a lot of people have died, not a lot,

but quite a few people have died over there. Not a lot. Not compared to Judaism, Christianity and Islam or Hinduism or any of these so-called real religions.

What makes a religion real? The older it is, the more real it is. It's older. Okay, so they're a new religion.

They got to get tough, like the Mormons did. I think it's about tax exemption. Well, yeah. I mean, I don't think any of them should be tax exempt, really.

Why should religions be tax exempt? Why not sex institutes? No. No, they should take all that money that we exempt

from religions. They should just give it to the poor. The country would be so much better off. Well, that's what taxing should be for.

Well, you know, right now we tax and then give to the military. But, you know, maybe we should turn things around and follow the Bonobo Way.

That's why the Bonobo Way is right here by the Haggadah as well as Jesus and the Last Supper. I've got, you know, a little advertising for my book right in the middle of everything.

Okay, well, you know, it's perfect. Right, right. Because actually, you know, the Haggadah is filled with violence.

It is. We even spill some drops of wine to kind of assuage our guilt over the violence. But there is the violence.

So speaking of wine, we are about to do our first cup of wine. There are four that are demanded. Now, wine is also very important

in the Catholic Church, of course. Wine represents the blood of Christ. Right, now, you were... Maybe menstrual blood.

I never heard of that. Could be the goddess. They were talking about that on the groups. You know, that makes some sense.

Right, right. Little red wings, having some red wings, you know? I mean, isn't that what happens when you really guzzle it? Whether it's the menstrual kind of lingus

or just drinking wine sloppily. But anyway, yeah, I mean, that would make sense. But it's not that way on Easter or in the Catholic religion.

You're supposed to drink the blood of the man, Jesus, who becomes a god. Or always was a god, I'm not sure. But certainly, like a superhero or something.

He was a carpenter. Yeah, yeah, but you could be a carpenter god, I think. You can. Hephaestus was a blacksmith god

in Greek and Roman mythology. So wine is super important. A god? I suppose, you know,

but they'd probably get after you to pay taxes if that was your religion. You know, that would be a problem. I mean, there are a lot of, you know, sex gurus.

There's a, you know, religions often have sex intermingled with all the preaching and stuff. So sometimes, you know, very illegally, isn't that right? I think that maybe Scientology does a little bit of that,

but the Catholic Church probably tops everyone on that. You know, Jewish religion a little bit too. But I understand the moils are swearing off of sucking the blood out of the little baby boys

after they circumcised them. So I applaud them for that. They shouldn't do that. Especially since I heard one of them gave a kid herpes.

As long as they don't have herpes. Yeah, yeah, really, you know, come on. So anyway, that's progress right there. So we've got hope.

That's what spring is all about. Hope and drinking. So we do a drinking ritual here in Bonoboville and there are drinking rituals everywhere.

Of course, the drinking ritual of Seder involves a prayer. The drinking ritual of Bonoboville involves a boob, right? Free the nipple, right? Okay, so you're wearing a very...

I'm so glad your boobs were not destroyed in this accident that you were. Okay, so first, I lick. That's the body, right?

Of not Christ, but closer to Demeter maybe. And then I say the prayer. There's a lot more in between that maybe a loser could do,

but the main part is... No, that was perfect, that was perfect. There's nothing in between. It's just that...

You do. It is very sweet. It's ridiculous. It's a weird combination with salt, let me tell you.

Yeah. This is deadly wine. I'm surprised that, you know, there's not like a breakout of juvenile diabetes

among Jews from this. Maybe there is. Anyway, okay, so that's the first cup of wine and there's more, of course.

We had the Adama, which really comes afterwards and that is the greenery. And by the way, I want to say about the wine and the other green thing we have here,

which is the grapes, that these are symbols of spring, the Dionysia, the Greek festival of Dionysus,

who is a god like Jesus, who, let's see, he has a lot of similarities. They're both kind of androgynous, look kind of female, have long hair.

Both are the sons of human women and God fathers. In Dionysus' case, it's Zeus, his father. Of course, in Jesus' case, it's God.

And mother is Mary. And the Dionysus mother is Semeli. And yeah, they both are revolutionaries and they both love women.

They both have a lot of women followers and some hot women followers too, some very sexual women for their times. And both die young.

They're killed in very, very bloody, terrible ways. Jesus, of course, is crucified and Dionysus is chopped into little pieces and their followers are just bereft.

And then miraculously, both are brought back to life. And not only are they brought back to human life, but they become immortal when they are brought back to life.

They become gods. And yeah, they're kind of brothers in a way, Jesus and Dionysus. Actually, pictures of Dionysus

look a little bit more like John the Baptist. But they have that kind of long hair, biblical look that not all the Greek gods had, but this was a very special messiah-like Greek god Dionysus.

And he eventually gave way to Jesus. And now Dionysus is just a footnote in classics class. And, you know, well, Jesus laid a lot of eggs. And a lot of those eggs hatched into followers.

And of course, this is the biggest religion in the world, I guess, right? Or has Islam overtaken Christianity? Where are we at here? I don't know.

But anyway, it's a big religion. I don't think so. It's a big religion. So Judaism celebrates Passover in the spring.

Going back and forth here. Are you following? Yeah. Right.

I like that your boob is out. You should have the other one out, though, to be even. Oh, sure. Yeah, you should have the other one out.

Okay, so this holiday of Passover celebrates, well, in a word, freedom. That's the word. Which is a dangerous word, really.

It's a word that sounds really good. And I love it. I mean, it's my favorite word in a way. I often say freedom is the greatest aphrodisiac

and restraint is a close second. That's a little kick to the BDSM people, right? Oh, there we go. But freedom is a great aphrodisiac.

Okay, now you can hold this. But the fact is it's a word that is oft misused, right? I mean, isn't that why a lot of wars are fought? Isn't that why a lot of bombs are dropped?

You know, we bombed the people in order to free them, right, Max? That's correct. That's how it's done. That's how it's done.

Now we do it with drones. Yes. Drones. And Abby Martin called Obama...

The king of drones. The drone king. The drone king. He is.

He is. It's terrible. It's terrible. I mean, Bush is the one that did invade Iraq just totally on a whim.

Well, no, no. But that's really the difference between the right wing and the left wing. The right wing is you bomb them back to the Stone Age. That means you kill everybody.

Right. The left wing is you kill them one by one. Slow. Not too fast.

Oh, my God. Yeah. It's... Yeah.

So, yeah. So, there's always a lot of killing going on in the name of freedom, which is sad. Because freedom's a... You know, it should be a positive thing, but it's such a kind of an excuse to just do,

you know, just do imperialist stuff. Yeah. And yeah, maybe it's an excuse that comes from way, way back. You know?

I mean, this is an old book, the Haggadah, and the Bible is even older. Whoops. That's upside down. You do read it left to right, but not upside down, or actually right to left.

You read English left to right. Right. So, it celebrates freedom, the freeing of the slaves, the Hebrews from Egypt, the Pharaoh, right?

Way down in Egypt land. And it's a great story. You can see it in cartoons, the Prince of Egypt, right? And I mean, that Cecil B. DeMille film.

I'm sure there's a lot of films that show this exodus, you know, from Egypt. And it's a fantastic story. The thing is, there's no proof that it happened in reality at all. There's no historical proof.

Did you know that, Max? I did know that, and that's correct. Yeah. I did know that, and I'm not too dumb.

So, in a way, it's just as mythological as the story of Dionysus, or the story of Demeter and Persephone. We call those myths, but we call the story of Passover like somehow history. But honest, you know, it isn't as far as we know.

Not to mention, let's just say, the Jesus story is also not really history. There's, first of all, no evidence that even Jesus existed, let alone, you know, died and came back and all that stuff. So, what?

No way. Yeah, that Jesus story is a little suspicious. Well, it's extremely suspicious. Yeah, I know, I know.

It's very suspicious. This guy ran around the earth for 33 years, and all of a sudden he became Christ, and then he became God. You know?

Yeah. Yeah, that's basically the gist. Yeah. Right.

Preached. And I just saw something on YouTube where this guy who looks like Jesus goes in front of the manger and the holiday and the little Jesus, and he's dancing there, and he looks just like Jesus.

And this cop comes along, and he says, you know, you can't do that. You got to move along, you know? And he goes, but you know, I'm Jesus. And he says, no, no, you got to move along.

And so he starts leaving, and he comes, and as he's leaving, he says, this is what I get for coming back to earth. You know? He gets shooed away from, you know, the nativity scene.

Yeah, you know, that does sound real, that story. But I really like the Frida Nipol women who run up to the manger in the Vatican and steal the baby Jesus and all the cops are chasing him, and everybody's just thousands of people out there,

and this woman is running around in the car. It is an amazing scene. It was around Christmas, which is the nativity time. This time is the resurrection time.

It's, you know, but she did do that in a really marvelous way. Miraculous, actually, when you think of it. I mean, I felt like it was all made up. I felt like it was a keystone cop scene that somebody created,

but it was real. It was just amazing reality TV, you know? You see these cops trying to take the little baby Jesus away from her. She's totally naked.

Yeah, and she's fighting. Is she totally naked or just topless? No, she's naked. She's totally naked.

Okay, cool for her. And the cops don't quite know how to handle it. You know, they don't want to put their hands under her. They're shielding her with their cloaks and things.

Very strange. Yeah, yeah, I know. It's hilarious. It's a dramatic, beautiful scene.

You should check it out. I guess under Vatican baby stealing free the nipple, you know, nativity. So, yes, on Easter, it's not about the baby Jesus. Oh, here we have a baby Jesus butt plug, though.

Oh, my God. Just for your baby Jesus fans. This is a baby Jesus butt plug that has been up some interesting asses. With a condom made by divine interventions.

Well, you could call in webcam this evening and maybe you get, you know, if you warm me up enough. Put the baby Jesus butt. But this is the real masterpiece of divine interventions. This is the divine interventions.

Jesus Jackhammer dildo rising up out of the vulva puppet. Look at that. Rising up to heaven. Oops, he's got a little schmutz on his tush.

A little lint on his cock. That happens. That happens when you're rising up to heaven out of the grave of a, you know, vulva puppet. There we go.

Put him back in there. My boyfriend in high school used to sometimes get lint in his belly button. Yeah, everybody. He was really cute too.

So even he had lint. All right. So let's see. We have more to this Seder plate.

But you know, there's a special song that we sing on Passover. This is the BDSM part. Okay. Do you know the song, the Diana song?

I don't. Which one is it? All right. So I didn't know about this.

I mean, I'd already sang this song when I was a kid at the Seder. You always sing. Die, die, ain't no. Die, die, ain't no.

Die, die, ain't no. Die, die, ain't no. Die, ain't no. Die, ain't no.

Die, die, ain't no. Die, die, ain't no. Die, die, ain't no. That's the verse.

I mean, the chorus, there's some verses. And we were just seeing it, you know, sitting at the table kind of half falling asleep with grandma and grandpa and, you know. But I went to a Seder, a Sephardic Seder.

I was brought up Ashkenazi, which is a little more boring because it's European. And the Ashkenazis, and the Sephardis are a little more hip because they're kind of African, Iranian.

And they have a special event, let's say a special ritual that they do with the Diana, which is actually to take scallions, which we do not have because I forgot to get them.

But scallions are the traditional thing. But you know what? They're not really part of the Seder plate. So I think it's okay that we are going to use celery for this.

And would you like to participate in this, Jack? Yeah? Okay. So you get a celery.

Anyone else? Sky, would you like to participate? She looks like she's had a lot of wine. Yeah, she's a little sleepy over there.

Okay. You go to sleep, honey. Right. Okay.

So what you do is you take this implement and you use it as basically a riding crop. And you whack the person next to you. So let's see.

I mean, you're usually kind of sitting around. So you have to kind of come forward. And let's see, you kind of whack the person next to you on each verse.

And then you turn around and whack the other person on the next verse. Okay. And so the person that taught us this, Max,

was Rabbi Shmueli Boteach. Right. Shout out to Rabbi. Shout out to Rabbi Shmueli Boteach.

He had us at his family, Seder, and taught us this very kinky ritual that we had never done. Of course, his family didn't think of it as kinky

because they were hitting each other on the shoulder. Okay. Right? The shoulder very light tapping on the shoulder,

although they were all kind of laughing while they were doing it, it's kind of a fun, crazy thing to break up a long sort of tedious Seder.

But at the same time, you know, I don't know that you have to do the shoulder, so I would say other parts of the body are fair game for whacking.

Right? And yeah, I think a celery is actually just as good as a scallion. So here we go.

I guess I don't know if you could sing along because you might be able to because it's so easy. The only word is dianoo, so you just follow along with me, okay?

Yeah. Okay, so first is a verse, and you don't whack until we start singing dianoo, okay? Max, do you know the words?

Dianoo? Okay, okay. Get your mic ready. I don't want to be the only one singing the main verse.

I know the verses. Oh, there's Loser. I thought he was gone. I thought you sailed away on an ice flow in Norway.

I didn't hear from you. Okay, so you know the verses. Okay, why not? Because I only know one verse or two.

So, okay. Well, I'll do the one. Ilu, Ilu, Hozi, Anu, Hozi, Anu, Mi, Mi, Traim, Hozi, Anu, Mi, Mi, Traim, Dianoo.

Okay, now everybody. Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo.

Now you hit it. Now, wait. Who do you? Okay.

Where do we go now? I'm confused. Okay. It doesn't matter.

Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo. Okay, Loser do a verse because that's the only verse I know. Okay, because you messed with the first verse. Okay.

Ilu, Ilu, Hozi, Anu, Hozi, Anu, Mi, Traim, Hozi, Anu, Mi, Traim, Dianoo. Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo,

Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo, Dianoo.

One more. Oh, I forgot the next one. Oh, you don't know anymore? What did they teach you in, like,

Orthodox Hebrew school that you went to? I don't know. Ilu, Ilu, Ilu,

Ilu, Ilu, Ilu, Ilu,

Ilu, Ilu, Ilu, Ilu,

Ilu Ilu, Ilu, Ilu,

Ilu, Ilu, Ilu, Ilu,

Ilu. And you are supposed to do it until you break the green, right? That was kidding. That was too hard.

Sorry. It's very exhilarating. You know, it's not as bad as Catholic abuse. No.

Oh, right. Did you get the joke? If it's under 18, it doesn't count. Oh, all right.

We're going to get back into that. No, actually, I think that Jack was talking about certain Catholic clergy when you said that.

He was kind of joking, but not, right? You mean, like, there's good cops and there's bad cops. Well, I mean, you know, we just criticized the rabbis, the moils for sucking the little boys' penises

when they're getting circumcised. Oh, no, no. The Catholic priests do that without having to. Without even to bother with the circumcision.

They do weekly follow-ups. Forget all of that stuff. Oh, god. Come here, kid.

Come here, kid. Let's just do that, you know, and other things as well. Anyway, all we're saying is give atheism a chance, right? Oh, we are saying.

Is give eco-sexual goddess worship a chance, right? Anyway, grapes. OK, and yeah. I mean, did you break it?

Oh, no, you didn't even break yours. My ass isn't hard enough. Break it. Nice.

That's a decent thing. It's a good implement. I'm telling you. Carrots as dildos, celery as a riding crop.

It works, you know? This is a very eco-sexual show. And I think we're going to take a little break. We're going to come back with kharoset and bitter herbs,

speaking of sedomasticism. I'm going to force-feed you bitter herbs. And you're going to like it. I might lick it off her nipples.

And who knows what else is going to? This is really the perverted seder. It's called Easter Eggs and Mots of Balls, Eggs and Balls, Baby, right here in Bonoboville.

And so, you know, hold on to your celery. Don't come yet, and don't go away. We'll be right back. All right.

See the clap sign. Hi, I'm Dr. Susan Block. And I've just written a new book called The Bonobo Way, inspired by my love for the make love, not war, great apes.

You know, the ones who have a lot of sex in a bonobo sutra of positions, including face to face. But it's not just how bonobos have sex. It's how they use sex to prevent murder and war, really.

They're the only great apes that have never been seen killing each other. They practice what I call peace through pleasure. With the females gently dominating the very happy,

very sexually satisfied males, bonobos are special, partly because they just are. And partly because they're very, very close to us, almost 99% genetically similar to us.

When it comes to being human, even being humane, bonobos can teach us so much, which brings me to us, and more specifically to you. Is your inner bonobo longing to swing free?

Would you like to tap into the hot, natural sex energy within you, that you would, so you can better enjoy the pleasures in life, and cope with the pain. You know, the pain.

And have more orgasmic, organic, sustainable sex. Who doesn't want that? Greater lust, greater trust, and better anger management. And who couldn't use a little bit of that these days?

So get the book, Learn the Bonobo Way. You'll be glad you did. Then you'll want to join Bonoboville, a new global village for bonobo lovers and friends.

And one last thing, the real bonobos are highly endangered. So a portion of all book sales go to bonobo conservation groups, working to save the wild bonobos from extinction. Read the bonobo way, and learn why

this could be the most important eco-sexual movement of our times. And improve your love life. It's time to get dirty.

For dirty tequila, the wildest, most explosive, most delicious tequila drink ever. Because you're deep down, you're all a little dirty. Dirty tequila was born in the desert of Cave Creek, Arizona

by George Doerr. He's the owner of Cody's Smokehouse and Grill. I had a pretty girl come up after a drink one night, and I started playing with a couple flavors

and grabbed a bottle of tequila. And put it in front of her, she loved it. And he created a sweet and sexy drink for his 21 to 35-year-old female clientele, which quickly

became legendary in the area. I looked at it, I said, oh, it's dirty. We'll call it dirty tequila. Soon after, George went south to Mexico

and partnered with a major tequila facility. You're listening to Suzy One on World Wide Web. And now, here she is, Dr. Susan Block. Brothers and sisters, lovers and sitters,

welcome back to Bonoboville for our Last Supper Sater combination of Easter Eve and the Second Night of Passover if you're tuned in live. And of course, it's spring.

And that is the basis of the eggs and balls. We've got Easter eggs and matzah balls. And matzah here. This is some genuine, like, original matzah

that was gotten for us by Loser Twersky, who is on the line from Norway. Loser, are you there? Oh, now he's not there.

OK, is it Dark Phoenix? Oh, disconnected. OK. And anyway, this is some kind of really incredible matzah.

Matzah shmura, right, round. Very cool. OK, round like eggs and balls. It's all very round, you notice?

Very feminine. Or we've got the cross, which is kind of the masculine symbol, Jesus rising. And of course, the wine bottle, another great phallic symbol

that we love to suck. Yes, anyway, we have Dark Phoenix on the line. Well, hello. The sun has risen.

I'm back, risen from the dead. All right, so what miracles are you going to perform? Well, I'm actually working on performing a grand miracle for your anniversary party next week.

Oh, really? Oh, that's cool. Great guest coming on the show. Excellent.

Juck's leather floggers, who will be presenting a lovely guest. I can't tell you who it is yet, but it should be somebody who will do it. Oh, that's the miracle part.

Plus, the unlicensed professionals, Catherine and Samantha, will be on the show. Yay, we love Catherine and Samantha, the unlicensed professionals.

All right. Including Anthony, who's coming back. And a good old friend, O'Deal. O'Deal, right.

Hey, we like O'Deal. You don't know O'Deal. Speaking of rituals. She's coming all the way from San Francisco.

She opened up her pussy for the pussy pipe, speaking of, you know, kind of rituals. So there's just a few of our guests who are going to come on the show for next week.

I've got an official guest list. I will be presenting possibly Wednesday. So all those who are members and all those who are not members, she become members.

Present yourself. Come to the show. Better present yourself soon if you want to get into the anniversary.

I will be there in the flesh. OK, that's easy to sign up to be a studio member. That will be helping promote the flesh. That sounds very Jesus-like.

Newly revised, or in my case, of a fairly well-educated and learned private gym. Oh, yeah, the private gym. I don't know if we want to see that on our anniversary.

But we'll see. Maybe. OK. TMI, no kidding.

So yeah, so you know who else is coming? Paul Provenza. He is a fantastic comedian and the creator of the Aristocrats movie.

So we're excited to have him here. The Aristocrats movie. And one of the 44 people that Neil deGrasse Tyson is following.

Oh, OK. So that's pretty important to be number one of 44. I don't know. Neil deGrasse.

Just saying. One of his many claims to fame. Anyway, all right, Dark Phoenix. Well, are you going to have a happy Easter with your family?

I will. I'm going to enjoy it to the fullest. I'm going to rise from the ashes, just as Jesus supposedly did himself.

And you should definitely combine your Easter with Bonoboville Communion. That is something important. I'm enjoying my Bonoboville Communion right now.

We miss you. Producer extraordinaire. All right. Ciao, ciao.

I look forward to seeing you all next week. See you all next week at the 23rd wedding anniversary for us. The anniversary show for Prince Max and Dr. Susie Block. Celebration of Bonoboesque love and marriage.

That's right. It's not just some flusy kind of crazy thing. It also is the basis of a marriage. I'm creating a plausibly great scene for you.

So well, it's going to be relative at carpet. It's going to be fun. Well, you know, you're going to bring out the cross. And being as your Jesus rising from the ashes,

we're going to nail you to it. Oh, well, I'm all for that. I believe I've been nobled the cross once before in my life. I can do it again.

Nailed? Really nailed? Nailed. He's getting nailed.

Oh, my God. Oh, 310. Figured if he was speaking, I guess I was. 5, 6, 8, 0, 0, 6, 6.

I guess maybe you could have been nailed on the cross, you know, if you were. I was nailed on the cross. Watch him get nailed twice.

Has that Jesus-y look, that real hot Jesus-y look. I just want to nail him. One that I won't forget. Nailed.

OK, well, you know, that's our motto for Easter, get nailed. OK, Dark Phoenix, you will rise. Like Jesus next week at our anniversary,

because, you know, the whole Easter thing, it's all through the spring. Easter is for Jesus. You know, a Dr. Suzy Block anniversary

is more a becoming of an appropriate rising for the Dark Phoenix. All right. Well, we will have you rise from the fire.

And we will see you next week. OK, darling, get laid. It's a mitzvah in Jewish for the holiday if you actually have sex on the holiday.

I'll do that. Yeah, you're supposed to do it with your spouse. But we're, you know, we stretch the rules with Bonobo, though. If not with myself, then maybe with somebody else.

You never know. Go ahead, just, you know, as long as it's consensual. Anyways, you guys have a good one. I will see you next week.

OK. OK, see you next week. And moving right along, we are here at our last Supper Seder.

I am here with Chelsea Demoiselle and Jack Nice on the oud. Where'd your oud go? Oh, the oud. The oud.

Are you slacking on the oud? Yeah, that was for the intro. Oh, OK, OK. We're done with that.

What kind of instrument is that? What are you doing? That's a traditional instrument from the Middle East. Although nowadays, like people like the ISIS and stuff

will shoot you and do all kinds of mean things if they find you with it. Oh, really? But there is a big tradition in Sephardic Jewish music,

and that's sort of why I specialized in. I'm studying it. I have this cool teacher, Yuval Ron, who's a grammar and Oscar winner, stuff like that.

But you also played an Easter song, right? Yeah, that was called Wahabibi, which is like a traditional Christian Middle Eastern song. Doesn't Habibi mean love?

I love you. Yeah, it's like the beloved or whatever is the sacrifice of the thing. It's like, what a nice dad.

It's like, I'm going to nail you to a stick, son. Why? Because, you know. And actually, with either definition of nail,

it's not a great thing for a father to do to a son. Not really, no. But there's a precedent for that in the Hebrew Bible, which is actually when God, Yahweh, tells Abraham

to sacrifice his only son, Isaac. And then he says, eh, fuljah, didn't mean it, at the end. But he's just about to cut his son's throat.

I mean, it's just a horrible thing for him to go through. And Isaac supposedly was traumatized by having his throat almost cut by his own father. And he became kind of schizophrenic or something.

Lightly off. Yeah, very off. Yeah, very off poor Isaac. So God is not all good.

But I don't know. Maybe that's the real part. Exactly. Interesting sense of humor.

I was just kidding. Wait, you actually did it? I was just kidding. Yeah, but with Jesus, he wasn't kidding anymore.

He actually let it happen. Yeah, he was a little tired that day. Now he's like going to go, wait, wait, no, I was just kidding again.

And so you can come back. Right, God's like that. God is strange. So yeah, yeah, there's all different conceptions of God

because it's a crazy world we live in. And it's tough to make sense of, you know. Got to have those good arguments, the Jewish argument with God, right?

That's Jacob. He wrestles with God. And supposedly wins, wrestles with the angel of God. But he's also traumatized by the wrestling.

The Bonobo way, God. The Bonobo way. Damn it. Well, wrestling's OK.

The sumo way. It's the slaughtering of all the people in the neighboring Philistine village that we're kind of against. But a little wrestling, especially the way

the Greeks would do it, kind of gay. It's kind of fun. Anyway, back to our last supper, Seder. So now we have this matzah, which

is awfully like the sort of wafer of Catholicism. You eat the wafer, except it's a little bigger. The body. The body of Christ.

Open the mouth. Giant wafer. OK, so we're just going to. OK, so have a piece.

And it's kind of, I don't really like it. But Ken likes it. Some people like it. Do you want some matzah?

Can't fit my mouth because it's all vested in your eye. OK. Baruchatadunai lehene melechalam boray peri ha matzah. No, I don't think it's boray peri.

It's boruchatadunai lelechalam asheke cene matzvotav adama. I don't remember what the matzah, ha matzah. Oh, yes, I do. Baruchatadunai lehene melechalam ha matzilechamin haarets.

Amen. Mochi. Oh, I just tell them. It's just like eating paper.

No, really. It's kind of paper-y, yeah. Awful. I took a big bite, too.

Well, we did the ritual. And this is what loser called the good stuff. It's just like eating cardboard. I know they laugh because they know how bad it is.

We've got Dr. Mars on the phone. This is the pain. We got Dr. Mars on the phone just as I've got a mouthful of sawdust. Well, he'll talk for you.

OK, speaking of the son coming home, in this case, to the mother, the holy mother, that would be me. Hello, son. Hello, mother.

Shabbat shalom. Well, that's not exactly the hall. Actually, Shabbat is over. Shabbat is Friday night to Saturday sundown.

And it's past Saturday sundown. So you have to say, well, you could say, chag samach pesach. Or not.

Happy Easter. Happy Easter. Happy Easter, Captain Max. Hey, there, Doc.

How you doing? Superb. I've seen the show, the high elves sitting on there, women of valor.

Joya Stionica. All right, so? No, I just had to call in and wish everybody happy weekend and looking forward to next weekend.

Happy weekend. Next weekend? Yeah, and then the weekend after that, we have my favorite newscaster.

Max is more excited about her than our anniversary. Yeah, but it's true. We have an anniversary next week. But then the week after that, we have Abbey Martin.

We're very excited about that. Abbey Martin. Abbey Martin will be here. Wow.

Yeah, because you know. So we got two big weeks ahead, which is driving us to drink Mount of Shevets. Mount of Shevets.

What is that a bad thing? What is what? What is drinking Mount of Shevets a bad thing? Very often it is, because it's so loaded with sugar

it'll just make you diabetic in one holiday. Yeah, drinking moderation. Just drinking moderation. Spoken like a true doctor.

Thank you, Dr. Mars. Well, he taught me life, liberty, and the reason I couldn't get into Yale. OK, I'm not sure if that was a compliment

or a complaint right there. But it seemed fraught with emotions such as a son might have for his mother. Well, no, I love my mother.

I just hate this simple fact. I try to be like you and get in a Yale, and he wouldn't let me in. They wouldn't let you in?

Well, I mean, they have quotas, you know. No, I'm sorry. I was very disheartened by that. Oh, I'm sorry.

Bula-bula could have fooled you. I mean, I don't know. I mean, don't let it get to you, son. No, I have you, so it's like I already

went to Yale 20 times over, I don't know better for it. There you go. I went to Yale, too. I went right through it.

He did. A few times. A few times. All of Yale, you saw the campus, it's a watershed.

Now, speaking of Yale, I want you to show these thong panties, guys, because these are special. I actually created them for one of my trips to Yale, and they are special sort of Jewish Passover panties.

Lux? And there's a saying at Yale that is Lux et Veritas, which I usually translate to lust at Veritas. But in the case of this particular erotica judaica thong,

I made it Lux et Veritas, right? For the hot juice in your life. Yes, her. Lux et Veritas.

Smoked salmon baby, eat it up. It's a mokin. I just now I have to figure out what kind of an anniversary present do you bring?

Well, millions of dollars would be good. Let's see, where are we registered? It's just $80,000. We should register ourselves somewhere.

Victoria's Secret, I don't know. Victoria's Secret. I was thinking about bringing a stripper pole. Rolls Royce.

Bringing what? A stripper pole. A stripper pole. One that fits in here.

Really good. Yeah, we would like that. That would be nice. Yeah, we would take that.

I'm thinking on a grand level, if you're going to give a gift, give the one that keeps on giving. That's right. And something phallic as well.

Yeah, nice. Something girls can wrap themselves around. I think we have a lot of support for the stripper pole present idea.

Everybody's all excited here. Yeah, they're getting very excited. I think that's the indoor-outboard probably. I mean, you have the noble opinion.

Outboard, adjustable. I think the bonobos would totally raise the money by itself, and everybody would win. Help a worthy cause.

That's a worthy cause. Definitely. All those strippers would love you. Well, not even that.

I mean, just look at the collection play. You can pass the hat. And basically, we would come to Bonoboville. It would be rebuilt 20 times over.

Right, oh. Yes, right, it would. Yes. Absolutely.

I was trying to think on a grand scale. That's what we like about you, among many things. So are you working tonight, Doc? No, I got free.

All right. I had next week off. I told everybody, my mother's wedding anniversary is next week. If I don't tend, she'll be very angry with me,

so I can't deal with that. That's funny. Yes, mustn't disappoint mama nature. Of course not, because mother nature bites back hard.

Don't write. Don't write. All right, Dr. Mars. Well, we're going to finish our last Supper Seder

here in the next few minutes. And we can't wait to see you next Saturday. You and your pole. I'm working on the pole right now.

I'll try to bring it in bright and early. Yeah, absolutely. You got to shine that pole. Shine that pole.

What do you rub it with? Some kind of wax or something? No, no, you rub it with alcohol. I think you rub it, actually, with liquor or something.

Somebody did that once before. You can rub it with alcohol for the exact same. That's the stripper pole. Yeah, the stripper pole.

That was what I was talking about. Oh, you thought I was talking about his other pole. The other pole is. Well, that might burn a little bit.

You do it drier. Yeah, it might burn a little bit. You could use lube, you know, yeah. That and I have to take communion next week.

I keep forgetting, too. I don't want to get too much trouble. Don't you forget. You should take it in our anniversarial honor.

Well, you have to, you know, you've got to build a family. Mm-hmm. All right, Dr. Mars, happy Easter. Happy Easter, Dr. Mars.

Have a good one to the beautiful Chelsea, to the captain, feel great. Everybody have a great night. Thank you.

Thank you, Diane. Thank you, Dr. You have a nice evening. Thanks for calling.

We'll see you next week. Pasta primavera. Thanks for all your tweets. Actually, we don't have any pasta primavera here.

We do have quite a few eggs. And we're up to the bitter herbs, also called marrore. So we have to have more matzah. I hate to say this, but we're going to put something on it

that's going to make it taste even worse, OK? You don't have to have the whole thing. OK, so now we are going to eat the marrore, which I have dressed up like a parfait.

It's beautiful. Yes. And see, it looks a little like a titty here. Yep.

All right, so, whoops, I don't want to spill it. This is the bitter herbs to remind us of how we suffered. Always a good excuse to make other people suffer is to remember your own suffering, OK?

And yet, it's also good to remember your suffering so that maybe you can be compassionate and not make people suffer. Maybe that is the lesson we're supposed to take

from the marrore is to remember our suffering so that we may have compassion for our enemies and not create more suffering. So, you take a little bit, and it's going to be pretty hot.

So, be careful with this. Warning you. OK, no need it yet. OK, take a little bit.

Oh, horseradish. Yeah, it's horseradish, so be very careful. Excellent. OK. Oh, I love it.

Baruchatatunayelheinamelchalam. Asherkishanabemitzvot. No, no, no. Baruchat wait.

Baruchatatunayelheinamelchalam. Something marrore. OK, and now eat it. Marrore, that's the key.

Marrore. It is kind of good. Actually, I like the bitter herbs. Better than the matza plain.

Mm-hmm. I'm looking in my hagata now. Mm. So that I can...

Yes, Baruchatatunayelheinamelchalam. Asherkishanabemitzvot. Al-akhilat marrore. OK, loser, al-akhilat marrore.

That's it. OK, I was going to drink this. I better not. So then we make a...

what they call a sandwich. So now we have to have more of this horrible matza. All right. And...

It's good with your hairspray. You put some of this, which is called haroset. And this is supposed to

remind you of the pyramids that supposedly these Hebrew slaves helped to build,

except once again, brothers and sisters, there is no evidence that any Hebrews were involved in the building of the pyramids.

Doesn't seem to have been. They're extraterrestrials. Yeah, one of those extraterrestrials. It's sort of like a Scientology thing.

But anyway, you get some of the haroset and you're supposed to put some of the bitter herbs on top of it.

So here you go. And... there you go. Get some of the haroset,

which is made with apples and nuts and honey. And I make it with dates, but you don't really have to.

But that's what I do, because I like the dates. And because somebody brought a whole bunch of dates over here, was that you, Chelsea? Yes, from my friends who are probably watching this show.

It seems Middle Eastern. It seems very Middle Eastern to use the dates. So... Oh, nice. You used them?

Yeah, I used the dates in here. Okay, so shout out to R and A. I won't say your names. I think I kind of sort of have made that up.

That's actually pretty good in a weird way. Right? I just got wine in it. Really good.

Mmm. I'm chewing. For those of you who are just listening on radio, I apologize.

We'll take a huge mouthful. And, yeah. This is our Passover Seder, combined with Easter Resurrection

and Bonoboville Communion. Which we're going to do another time because you're supposed to drink a lot of wine on Passover.

You are. Yeah, that's the Heroset right there. Okay. Since I got my lips smashed in today,

I can't really... I could just drink the wine, but... Yeah, you can drink the wine. You don't have to suck the nipple.

But you have to present your nipples for sucking. Absolutely. Here goes the Manashevets.

Killer wine. Okay. Did you want some killer wine? Oh, and we should pour some for Elijah.

For Elijah. You hear that Elijah? Oh, yeah. Mar loves Manashevets, actually.

If Elijah doesn't drink his, we'll let Mar drink Elijah's wine. Okay. So...

Bonoboville Communion. Mmm. Oh, it's still salty. You know, it's true of all Jewish food.

You need salt. Oh. Fruity. Okay, so then Elijah

is supposed to come into the room. Is the door open? It's supposed to open a door. Yes, the door should be open.

All right, whatever. It doesn't matter because you don't see him anyway. But you sing this song. It's kind of a nice song. I don't know if you know it.

You go. You have to turn this music down, though, because it... Okay. Eliahu Hanavi.

Eliahu Hattishpi. Eliahu Eliahu Eliahu Hagilodi. Emo siak bendavid. Emo siak bendavid.

Eliahu Hanavi. Eliahu Hattishpi. Eliahu Eliahu Eliahu Hagilodi. And now supposedly,

Elijah comes into the room. And when I was five years old, it was my first Seder and it was in the synagogue.

And I was actually the youngest kid in a room full of hundreds of people. And so the rabbi took me into his arms and holds me there.

And the other kids, the young kids under 13, but all of them are older than me, and all of them knew the routine of this Eliahu thing.

And I didn't know. I was ignorant. Ignorance is bliss, until you're confronted with it

in front of a whole bunch of people. And after we sang the song and the rabbi had said to me, look at the cup, it was a clear cup,

so I could see clearly that the wine, which was at this level, top level, after we sang the song,

was still at the top level of the goblet. And when the rabbi said to me, Suzy, did you see Eliahu

drink the wine? I said, no. He said, are you sure? Look carefully.

Eliahu came in. He's invisible, but he drank the wine. Do you see that he drank the wine? And I'm thinking, okay, he's invisible,

but still, if he drank any wine, I would see some would be missing and I've been looking at it very carefully. And none is missing, so I kept saying no.

And then he says, okay, okay, kid. And then he turns to the other kids who were all in on the lie. And they all said,

yes, Eliahu drank, drank, drank, and they all go down the row and they say yes, and the rabbi says, good, good, good, good, and everybody's so happy with them.

And he looks at me and he goes, did you see now? Do you see what the other kids see? And I said, no. And he said, uh,

uh, no. He was upset with me and I burst into tears. And that's when he quickly

gave me to the Rebitzen. That means the rabbi's wife who hustled me away because I was speaking the truth

in my young way. And that was not allowed. You still are. Aw.

And I'm still getting into trouble. Except she gave me gifts, the rabbi's wife, the Rebitzen. She gave me some books and she distracted me and I was fine.

But I never forgot the kind of shame that I was put through for simply

speaking a truth, a truth that I think, you know, Neil deGrasse Tyson might have approved of, right?

But I was punished for speaking a truth. And very often religions punish you for speaking a truth. They start

when you're little. And nothing against religion. Here I am celebrating religion. I think it's a beautiful thing

in many, many ways. The rituals, the togetherness, the food, the feelings,

but, you know, when you start to take the fairy tales as truth, it's painful.

Just trying to take the good from it and leave the rest. So, yes, Max. What's the recipe?

Nothing. I was just thinking about eating the body of Christ and the drinking of the wine.

They also have something else in the Catholic Church. It's the eating of the pre-sauceage. Ah, yes.

For real, right. That's the after party. Hopefully it's vegan. You know.

What goes with eggs? Yeah, right. Sausage. We have a political person at our Seder table, by the way.

There he is. Billy the Clinton. Or the Clinton. He used to call here.

He did. So, I think we're winding up our Seder right now. And we've still got to eat the eggs

and the matzo ball soup. We have that, right? Yes. It's now cold. Oh, it's cold.

It's a genuine matzo ball soup. Maybe we should heat it up for the after party. Yes.

What about these? Oh, yeah. What do you do with those? These are confetti eggs. You just crack them on each other.

Go ahead. You know more about that. Confetti eggs. Now I have confetti in my wine. Oh, dear.

Is that what you're supposed to do? Careful with the candle there. These holidays are not always compatible. Okay. I made a mess.

Happy Passover. Happy Easter, everybody. Happy Passover. Happy Easter.

Happy Dionysia. Happy Persian New Year. Is it the Persian New Year?

Kind of. It's the closest Islamic holiday I could get to Eastern New Year. You just made a deal with those Persians.

We did. I think that's kind of good, right? You don't bomb us. We don't bomb you. I think that's a good deal.

I like that deal. I don't know. I think it's pretty good. But we'll find out what Abby Martin thinks of the deal.

That's correct. It will be here in two weeks. After the anniversary show. Which is next week.

Meanwhile, there's 24-7 therapy on phone or webcam. We can call here. That's smoking.

That's right. We are here throughout the holidays. That's right. So have an eco-sexual holiday.

Hats off to Serena Gaia. The eco-sex book is coming out soon.

Serena, Angelini. Donofrio. And who are you saying hi to, Max? Oh, my mom.

Oh, your mom. In heaven. She's up there somewhere. I was just hoping there might be a reason to use this tonight.

For a webcam client. You might want to call me because I don't know. It's the baby Jesus butt plug.

Mom, turn off the radio. Just after Max is saying hello to his mom in heaven. Chelsea is offering

to insert the baby Jesus butt plug into her I don't have anything to do with this. I don't even know how I got here.

You didn't hear that. Plug your ears. I don't hear your la la la la la. All right. Okay.

I thought you were supposed to have four glasses of wine though. Well, you are. But there's the after party. We barely made it in.

Oh, and we also have the bone. The bone. Right. This is a symbol of a boner. And that was used as a cock ring in the old days.

In the old days. It's a little painful. You got to shake it. Smooth it out.

And yes, Easter eggs. I think we've gone through all the symbols for sure. Dig them.

Giant matzah ball behind you. Oh. Hey. All right.

Happy Easter and juggle your balls. Cherish your egg. And

follow the bonobo way. Whatever your religion. You know, I mean, it's funny. People were talking about whether

Jesus, Muhammad, or Moses really preached

love or peace. My feeling is they preached love, but not really peace. I mean, there's all kinds

of wars throughout the Old Testament and the New Testament kind of ends in this bloody way. And yeah, Jesus said

turn the other cheek, but he was not exactly nonviolent. He overturned all those nice capitalists

in the table. I mean, they're still doing that. They're still doing that. And now actually,

you know, Obama and a lot of these people, even the right wing, is saying let them kill each other.

And then we come in and steal everything. You know, no more sending troops over. None of that stuff.

Well, I think that's progress in a way. I do. I think it's better to let them kill each other

in a way than for us to come in and kill them. Absolutely. I mean, I think if

we were going to come in with aid, that would be nice. Aid would be good. We should have done that with the war in Rwanda.

We should have come in with aid. No, not with AIDS. Their spelling is just bad. We're like, we need to come in with AIDS.

I was already bent on. Come in with food, eggs. Come in with eggs, right? And grapes.

Throw some eggs on them. Right? I mean, we should come in with aid, but not with bombs.

Bombs only create beheadings. It's up to 30 magazines. We should bring in lingerie. I understand ISIS.

They like lingerie and use panties. When you're busy fucking, you're not fighting. I heard about that.

I heard they like panties. Instead of beheading, you could do a video with Jack Nice and show off in your 90s for me, because we know a lot of the

ISIS actually like to wear these things. They like to wear them. They like to wear them. So you could show how.

Nature seeks a balance. Often these guys that are very macho and wielding these scimitars are actually

wearing Victoria's Secret. By the way, I didn't say any of that. It was just these people here. That's why the robe is long.

So are the bombers. The military captains and the firefighters. There's nothing wrong with that, by the way. I'm just saying that a lot of my clients

who are cross-dressers are often in very masculine professions like police officer.

Truck driver. I noticed that, and I was surprised when I started working here. So that's been going on a long time, isn't it? Dr. Sussie, please.

How long have you had this business? This business? Oh, how long have I had this business? Oh, centuries. Decades.

I go way back. I've had my business since I was born. I haven't missed a beat. Love it.

It's very exciting around here. The phone ringing around the clock. And you never know who's going to be on the phone. May I help you?

How may I help you? May I help you? And what would you like to talk about? You need to talk about something?

You what? The pig in the pen. I got you. Now, one subject that we often get asked about,

at least I do, and it pertains to tonight's holiday rituals is people who are victims

of religious abuse. Some of them are direct victims of sexual abuse. I'm not going to mention names.

But some of them actually have been abused by clergy. And some of them are simply mentally abused. Mentally abused. A lot of mentally abused.

A lot of mentally abused. They may not have been touched physically. They may have been indoctrinated. But they are indoctrinated

into a way of thinking that shames them for their sexuality. For any kind of sexuality that is not about procreation,

there's often shame. And sometimes even for the sexuality, this is about procreation. There is shame.

And we try to help people with this without breaking down your religion. Maybe we'll make fun of it a little bit actually.

But we're not going to bomb you for your religion. But we are going to try to help you

to kind of balance it out so that your religion doesn't destroy or denigrate your sexuality.

So that your religion doesn't crush your eggs or step on your balls.

Or kick your balls. Or eat your eggs. Anyway, we want to help you if you are a victim of religious abuse

you can give us a call 310-568-0066. And sometimes people think about this more around the holidays and we are open throughout the holidays. And yes,

these great religions of the world and they are great. For nothing else because of their PR. I mean the Christian religion, even the Jewish religion

and certainly my goodness, I mean the Islamics are just blowing us all away with their PR. It's just like crazy.

I mean we didn't even think of that. Cutting people's heads off? No, that's not real Islam. I know, I know, I know. Except that there are people doing it

in the name of Islam and it's all confusing. No, no, no, no. Brand confusion. It's not Islam, I know.

We know a lot of wonderful people. It's Saudi Arabian. They cut off more heads than the other guys. Really.

No beheading and no bombing. We practiced the Bonobo way so you know it's a little bit different

than all these religions. It's got that spiritual thing going because you look into a Bonobo's eyes and you could swear

you could see the missing link. Now I understand why the Archbishop of Los Angeles

many years ago said that you were one of the most dangerous people in the city. Remember that?

I do. I was declared. You were declared by what was his name? The Archbishop? Was that Mahoney?

Yeah, Mahoney. Mahoney said that this is one of the most dangerous women in the city of Los Angeles. Can we get that in a proclamation?

In a good way. Exactly. With a little body and blood of rice detached in some way.

Well, she says drop pocket rockets. Well, you notice Mahoney's gone now, right? He was rather dangerous. And I'm still here!

A couple of ten thousands of children. He's outlasted him. So most of the talk shows they're gone, she's still here.

Yeah. So, you know the Bonobo way it keeps you young, keeps you here. It keeps you fucking.

It's like it just keeps you in play. And so, practice the Bonobo way. Make like Bonobos,

not baboons. Make, love, not war. It's a holiday and it's a mitzvah

for the Jews to have sex. And Christians, you can come up with something. So make love to someone you love tonight.

Even if that someone is you. I love you. I love you. And before you go away,

I want to remind everyone. The police in this country last month killed 100

people. 100 citizens. They killed more people

than the whole of the London police force since 2000. They did this in one month.

That was a slow month. Yeah, that was a slow month. The deal is we have to disarm these people. We have to disarm these people.

They are out of control. And they have to stop killing not my children. Well, you know, maybe.

But no, just kidding. Michael, Daniel. Like you said, stop killing black people and stop killing white people.

And like that Nebraska state senator said, I forget his name, but he did say, you know, ISIS never came to my door and harmed me.

But the police have. That's correct. And the police are out. They are out of...

They're out of it. They can't be doing this kind of stuff. And is it their fault? No, it's not their fault. You know who's fault it is?

It's your fault. We should be the doms here. You should not allow this to happen in a civilized society.

So disarmed the police. There's a big movement now to disarm them. And, yeah. Okay.

And save these people. You can't be going around killing people. All right. That's all I got to say.

So we went into overtime on that. That's quite all right. So we'll say it again. Happy Easter. Happy Easter.

Good young tiff Pesach. And yeah, make like bonobos, not bad boons. Make love, not war. Make love to someone you love tonight. Even if that's someone.

Is you. That's it. Oh. Need to talk with someone about

something you can't talk about with anyone else. You can talk to us. I'm Dr. Susan Block.

You're mistress of the airwaves. But my day job is director of the doctor's community. For the erotic crisis inside

specialized experience or a combination. My world renowned telephone sex therapists are just a phone call away.

Totally private, absolutely confidential. We listen, talk with you, advise you. Role play for you, fantasize with you.

No fantasy is too taboo. And help you with anything from impotence to exhibitionism. Fears to desires, fetishes

to marriages. For more information call us at 213 291 9497

That's 213 291 9497 Anytime you need to talk. You're.