Yale Roundtable: Peace, Love, Bonobos

Full transcript of Yale Roundtable: Peace, Love, Bonobos on The Dr. Susan Block Show:

This isn't going on some site, is it? Oh yeah. Oh God. Point two.

This is at the end of all of us. Point two Yale University for my 45th reunion, undergraduate college, but still, a lot. OK, I'm at Timothy Dwight, and this

is where my class of fellow Yalees, doctors, lawyers, politicians, great states, men and women, and leaders in their community, artists, musicians. And then there's me.

I'm a sexologist. And of course, I'm the Bonobo lady. And so yeah, I'm doing a talk on peace, love, and Bonobos. They even made me a little placard.

Peace, love, and Bonobos. So I want to welcome all the people at my round table. Round table means that we're all equal.

It's a lot nicer than being at the end of one of Putin's long, phallic tables that explode in war on the other end. And who knows what's happening on whose end. But you can see what's happening on my end.

I am wearing a latex skirt. We'll talk about what's happening under my end later. But for now, we'll just say we'll take questions and you do not have to show yourself.

And you do not even have to be heard necessarily. I'm going to try to formulate some of your questions. We're going to talk about Bonobos, peace, love, which is code for sex.

Don't come yet and don't go away. We'll be right back. Delighted to be here at my peace, love, and Bonobos round table.

I, like everyone, started with love and moved on in life to realizing I wanted peace. And much later, Bonobos, who amazingly combined peace and love and not just in a metaphorical way.

But in a very, very real way. Speaking of peace, my husband and I met during a time of war. A time like when now, in a way, where a lot of people

were very pro-war. You play back the decades. You know, it was before 1992. So it was like 1990, 1991.

And everybody was on the war wagon against the Hitler of that period. He was not a good guy. His name was Saddam Hussein.

And he made deals with America. And I remember feeling very isolated. And I didn't even have a mask. But I found someone who was also against that war.

And I had a love. I seemed to have combined the peace with the love. And that was pretty amazing, because it was hard to find a guy that agreed with me,

especially about that war. Everybody was so on the war wagon. The beddings of John Lennon, I don't think, would have worked back in 1991.

There was such a pro-war fervor. And yes, a fervor to go after the so-called enemy, the Iraqis, and then Saddam. And it kept going really pretty hard through sanctions,

through the Democrats, and then through our beloved Bush second from Yale, who gave the Freudian slip of, I don't know, the millennium to say that this dictator went with brutal force and criminal intent,

or something like that, into Iraq, or, I mean, Ukraine. And then Iraq, too. I didn't hear the Iraq, too. That was a great slip.

Yeah. What a great slip. And what a true slip. What an awful slip.

And what an awful slip to have to accept, as I don't know if you want to say Americans or fellow humans or fellow Yalees. But anyway, it was bittersweet to hear that.

World backwards, we were married, and anti-war, and in love, and wondering how to stay in love. And I never thought I'd be interested in anything to do with primatology.

I was already very turned off on anthropology, actually. And I a little bit blame Yale for that, because I thought, before I became a theater major, that I might become an anthropology major,

because I was interested in our origins. But what I discovered was a department, perhaps, but I think all college, anthropology departments were like this at our time, that focused

on the human warrior, the sort of brutal ape, and the very patriarchal community. And I didn't like that. And I'm not a scientist.

I'm an artist of sorts and a therapist. So I just thought, I don't want to study that. So I majored in theater, where I could kiss a classmate and get credit, which was fun.

And then I saw a TV show. I hate to say this is the way that I met Bonobos, but it was through a show called The Nature of Sex. I thought it was a fairly erudite TV show.

And it was about sex. And I was impressed. And I liked watching the animals. And that's nothing bestial about that.

It's just, there was no internet, and it was very kind of eye-opening to see what we animals, we creatures, do. That wasn't pornography,

but was more documentary. And it was very absorbing and very inspiring for me at the young newlywed and a would-be anthropology major.

And so I was already hooked. And then I saw the Bonobos. And I just couldn't believe it. They just seemed like members of my own family,

but with a lot more hair. This was like a long-lost cousin. I had never been interested in genealogy at all. I wasn't interested in my own cousins,

but these cousins, they were very interesting because they looked like us, like I said, more than common chimps. I could explain that a little bit.

I don't know if anybody else knows the difference between how common chimps and Bonobos look. Does anybody else know that? You want to know that?

Yeah, anatomy a little. Well, common chimps are very stooped over. Chimps, or what did you think I was saying? Chips or chas?

Chips, like Doritos? You thought I was talking about Doritos? Really? Okay.

Chimps, we are talking about apes. Does everyone here know the difference between an ape and a monkey? Monkey has a tail.

A monkey has a tail. Now, some people call the human butt a tail, but it's not the same. So we're very close to apes,

and you got your orangutans. They're pretty cool-looking. Unfortunately, they can be rapists, and they can be killers.

Baboons can be big killers, but they're monkeys. Baboons have tails. But orangutans don't.

Orangutans are apes. Gorillas are also apes. And they're relatively peaceful, except they commit infanticide.

It's sad. And why? Well, they usually commit infanticide because there's a dude,

like he controls all the females. And the other dudes are kind of hanging out in the bushes. And the females have secret sex with these other dudes. It's funny, but they don't publicize it.

But when the male chief gorilla dies, whatever way he dies, whether it's through violence, which can be.

And so they can commit violence against the king. Or he might just die of old age. Then the young males will fight, and whoever wins kills all the babies.

And then the females mate with him. That's how awful it is. Among gorillas who are very close to us. So we can be like that too.

And you might go, oh, that's horrifying that the females would mate with the guy that just killed their babies. Then you might say, well, they don't know.

But I think they do know. I just think they go, oh, this is our lot in life. And it happens among common chimps not as much, but yes, it happens.

Common chimps make war on each other. And they are all very violent and patriarchal. And that's why I didn't want to be a primatologist. But then I found these bonobos on of all things PBS.

And I loved them then, but then I met them at the San Diego Zoo. And I really, really fell hard in love with them. As I was falling in love with my new husband,

see, it's connected for me personally. You gotta have heart about anything. And my heart was opening to this man I've been with for 30 years, and it was also opening to bonobos.

And realizing the connection of peace, love, and bonobos. You know, it's so stupid. It's such a hippie saying. And my hair is so hippie looking.

Because of this Philadelphia weather. Well, New Haven weather, I forgot. I'm from Philadelphia, but I'm here in New Haven. Anyway, with this hair.

Just like when I was in school. So bonobos are the only great ape that don't kill each other. It's pretty amazing.

Maybe they did in secret somewhere we don't know, or they will in the future at some point if someone, maybe a human teaches them. But so far, in the wild and captivity,

there's never been a bonobo sighted killing another bonobo. So that means they're actually more advanced than we are. Hey, the man said that means they're actually more advanced than we are.

He sounds like he's part of a cult, but I don't even know, not mine. And I'm not the one that told you that. And I don't even really say that.

They're definitely more advanced in terms of peace and conflict resolution. But do you know how they do it? They make love, not war.

Yeah, man. What does that mean? We should all be bonobos. I like this way of thinking.

Yeah, you don't want to get more specific, or that's my job. Oh, that's my job. I see, okay, okay.

Well, they have a lot of sex. In a bonobo sutra of positions, they do it all together, or in twos, or in threes. They do it male, female, and male, male, and female, female.

And of course, it's not just how they have sex. It's how they use sex. Yeah, in the sense that the females migrate as they reach puberty,

so that their fathers they know are in the community, but they avoid having sex with their fathers by moving to a new community. And that also creates the nobo society in many ways.

As far as the mother and son have an incredibly close relationship, but a taboo against PIV sex. Now that is a kind of cake term,

but you yellies who don't want to say words out loud, you should know what it means. Penis in vagina, sex. So they avoid PIV sex, but they lick each other,

maybe not too much on the genitals, but they kiss, and mother, son, they hug a lot, and they're very politically involved. They fortify each other, and we'll talk about that,

but certainly they avoid this kind of reproductive sex, if that's what you mean. There's a certain level of sex we humans may call sex,

but bonobos call it touching, affection. They'll do that among all of them, but they're very interesting that they seem to have an understanding

of reproductive sex, or else it's just worked out that way. We've only just begun to study them in our tilted sort of human way. I said tilted, but I meant stilted,

but I really mean both, because we tilted towards the politics, and now of course it's tilting towards feminism, which is good for me, I like it.

It started as a mostly male science. I mean, mostly men were making the discoveries and keeping it on the hush-hush for the most part, you know? I mean, when we were in school in the 70s,

bonobos had been discovered. They'd been discovered in 1929 as a different species in a museum. Not, well, okay, then it was learned later

that this chimp that had been at Yale at the Yerkes Center and had a very fine disposition. Prince Chim, he was called by Yerkes, who really loved him. He got along, I guess, better than most of the chimps,

and they didn't understand why. And it turns out he was a bonobo, and they would call him a gentleman because he walked upright a lot,

and he also seemed to be more, I don't know. I mean, it wasn't like he was having a lot of sex. At least they don't describe that, in the Yerkes' primate memoirs,

but he didn't, sadly, live that long, and he also had a female companion who was a common chimp who was supposedly bad temper. But he was very solicitous of her.

Anyway, it's interesting, a Yale connection here. And then the Yerkes Center moved to Atlanta where Franz de Waal has been, and he is a great primatologist

who I have learned a lot from. I was honored that he quoted the bonobo way in his book, The Bonobo and the Atheist, as not a movement, but a way that a lot of us

take the bonobos as showing us the way. Just as when I was a student among all y'all, and I thought, oh, the Anthropology Department is sending me in a way down this violence,

is inevitable, and patriarchy is the way we are built, it's the law of the jungle, that's the way. Not even endorsing it, just saying that that's science, that that's the way.

So that turned me off, so I went, well, I'm not gonna go that way, I'm gonna be an artist. But then I see, well, there is another way, a bonobo way, and you can take it

as a movement or, I don't know, a philosophy. But it really is that science is showing us that bonobos have another way. I know that bonobo females have orgasms

from personal experience, well, kind of personal experience. Yeah, observation. In fact, Franz DeWall was saying that I, as a sexologist, at this time,

he was quoting me, which was in like 2010, and then I was saying it looks like they're having an orgasm because I wasn't measuring anything. But now they have, they measure heart rate and blood flow,

and they have orgasms, and it's interesting they do more often when it's female, female sex than when it's PIV, sorry, but the guys have to work a little harder.

What can I say? But interestingly, what Franz was quoting me on was the fact that this German primatologist, well, Dr. Gee, he was saying that the female, female,

protage, what they call genital rubbing or what the native people call hoca-hoca. When the females rub their genitals together, it's kind of like twerking, but really together.

I was told, I shouldn't say it's like twerking by somebody who said it was somehow politically incorrect, but I just said it. But I said it was like a whole bunch of other things.

It's also like the tango, except you're really moving fast, right? You gotta watch it at the zoo, like me. Or if you're lucky, you can go to Congo and watch it there.

But the bonobos do it. And I mean, we female humans, we can kind of imitate it and believe me, I've tried. Anyway, they have orgasms.

Yes, usually when they're doing that, so much so that sometimes they fall out of the tree. Because, you know, they like to do it up high where they're away from any predators.

And they usually know how to fall because they land like cats, because, you know, they're built like that. They can grab another branch, you know, they're good.

They're very athletic. You said, are they better? It's not a question of better or worse. The bonobos are not better at language.

We don't speak their language. They speak a little of ours, actually. They learn a little sign language. They learn to speak like we do.

And, you know, there's all that eye contact that they do. They do an inordinate amount of eye contact so that you're like looking into their souls all the time. And that communicates a lot how they feel.

They communicate a lot of emotion. And they communicate through computer sign. Although they're sort of not teaching them so much that because that's falling out of favor

because it's considered animal abuse. I'm not going to weigh in on that unless you force me. I have mixed feelings about that just like I do about zoos.

Because zoos are where I found bonobos. That's where I know bonobos and get to know new bonobos. And they're, you know, prisons. Some of us have intimate knowledge of this sort of condition.

It might be a decent prison, but it's still a fucking prison. Excuse my French, I would say, except I didn't learn that in French class.

I have mixed feelings about the studies that have shown that bonobos can learn our language and that, in fact, conzi, the bonobo, for instance, can beat humans at computer games

and certainly can communicate with humans in sign language. And so could his sister, Panbenisha, who died in an unfortunate accident. Studying bonobos is hard.

You feel bad if any single bonobo is killed in any way, even by accident, because there are so few bonobos and this leads me into just a very short detour and to just bonobo conservation is very important.

Do you have an idea of how many there are? There were just 5,000, but they seem to have increased. So maybe 10,000, maybe even 20,000. Did they ever learn how to act like

some of the students or other students could not be someone like an athlete and know more about others? How much is this an ingredient, a species,

and how much is it? Right, so the question was, in case you did not hear, you who are listening on a technical device, can this be learned?

How much of this is genetic really and only something bonobos can do? How much can other species do it? How much can common chimps do it?

How much can certain monkeys? How much even baboons? And therefore, how much can humans do it? And that is the ultimate question.

Our man, Jarrah, he's got a lot of these ultimate questions because this is a lot about what bonobos know that we don't know, but what do we know about bonobos? One is they're very close to us.

Equal, let's say, to common chimps, although some say closer. Two is they have a lot of sex. Three is it's female-empowered.

It's sisterhood, even though they're mostly not sisters. Milks rule bonoboville. It's also the younger ones have a lot of power, but the older ones have more power.

And we can talk about that. Then four is the males are okay with this. More than okay, they're happy with it. More than happy, they're healthier

than the common chip counterparts. And they live a more youthful life. They stay neoteness longer. Bonobo males got it going on.

Maybe it's because they get it on. Maybe it's because the females who are in charge know how to do this. Then five, of course, they put all this together

to make peace through pleasure. So how do they do this? Do they do it because that's how they are? Do they do it because that's how they learn to be?

Well, they do learn. They do a lot of learning. And I don't wanna get into that because I think real primatologists are better.

And I think common chimps do a lot of learning too. And they learn more about tool use. It's interesting, they've done studies on Bonobo tool use. Bonobos are not that interested in using tools.

So they don't do it that much. But if they're forced, they do just as well, if not better than a common chip. They just kinda see life doesn't require tools.

Got plenty of mangoes in the trees and lots of sex in the bushes. I don't know, what do I need a tool for? On the other hand, common chimps, yeah,

they need tools to get those termites. We are gaining in our round table nights of Bonobo vote here. And soon King Arthur will visit us tonight.

And I'm taking off my colorful, actually it's not colorful, it's got no color. My rain coat. Because it was raining when I got dressed

and came outside and I never went back in. So now I'm all in black and white. And a little chilly so I might put it back on. But maybe I'll get heated up.

So anyway, yeah, it's often said that Bonobos are more connected to our common ancestor who grew up in the jungle. After all, the jungle is the most favorable conditions

for us apes, all of us apes. And we humans are apes. We are different, not so hairy, except some of us. But we're apes.

We all grew up in the jungle and we all kind of branched off, except Bonobos, some say. Bonobos stayed and changed.

It's not like they are our common ancestor, no. But that they stayed and maybe common chimps along with them and humans branched off first than the branching of the common chimps and the Bonobos.

Let's say this Congo River formed. A group of apes went across onto the other side of the Congo River and that side became a very difficult place to live.

So what seems to have happened is because of all the predators on the ground, you don't have the protection of the trees, the common chimps are hunched over,

their brows are thicker because they have to deal with more sun and they have the knuckle dragging walk. At the same time, on the other side of the river,

Bonobos are still in a jungle where they're the largest mammal, pretty much. So leopards could have been a predator that chimpanzees would be afraid of

and develop more predatory habits themselves, both in terms of protection and in terms of fighting over food. Yeah, go ahead.

Okay, so these chimps are very not busy. They don't have to get up every morning, they're a pseudon, they work, they're the stock market and they share things.

Yes, the Bonobos, they share things. They share the resources of the community, which means there's less fighting because I'll start with you.

You don't have to kill me to get my food. I'll go to you happily. Maybe you don't have sex, but otherwise, things are good.

So they don't have that kind of situation. They share the environment, they share the food, they share love, sex, whatever else. And that's something that we don't do.

We're running out of water. Right. Okay. And we got a maniac over there.

We have all this competition that's caused this. You know, the Chinese want the water, Americans want the water, everybody wants the water,

who's got the water. Give it up. Bonobos don't have that kind of situation. No, they have a sharing situation for the most part.

And honestly, common chimps have a sharing situation better than humans. I mean, they fight a lot and they kill. What do they fight?

They fight over females, they fight over prestige. And of course, prestige has to do with access to females. And it has to do with access to food, but of course, they do seem to have understanding

that you can't store food. Giving it out is the sign of your prestige among both common chimps and bonobos to be able to give out food.

And among both common chimps and bonobos, giving out food gets you other favors, including sex. And among common chimps, you know,

the male will provide some interesting food, some meat, perhaps, in order to get some sex from a fertile female. Now, this happens all over the animal world.

I don't say kingdom or queendom, exactly. Maybe queendom sometimes, depends on my audience. But in Bonoboville, as I call it, the world of bonobos,

this is the only place where, yes, there is food exchanged for sex, almost like sex work, in a commercial way, almost, although there might be affection between the people

as there is in commercial transactions. But it's the female that picks up the check, because she's got the bananas or mangoes or whatever it is. So she often is the one offering the food

in exchange for sex with the partner of her choice. The correlation is between the kind of sex that is demanded by the person who has the research, which is usually the female,

and she in one way picks up the check. Yes. She's the one who has the money. Yes.

Is there any tendency of the kind of sex which survives in the other kinds of sex? Okay, so there's a lot of politics attached to the food for sex exchange.

There is private sex among bonobos. Of course, there's all kinds of sex, but the bonobos are more open about it. They're doing it in public.

It's food time, and the female is usually the one to get the sex. By that, I mean the matriarch. Now, the matriarch is usually an older female,

a milf, and she usually has a son. And this son is usually the alpha male. And so there's a mother-son relationship

like I was talking about, and they avoid incest. They don't have PIV sex, but they do a lot of grooming.

Can I take an aside for another political statement? I think that it is really sad that we have taken this word grooming that is a perfectly wonderful word

in the world of primatology. And that means touching and taking care of another creature and healing them, getting the little bugs out of their fur

and just combing their fur. So it's not all matted, taking the food and the gunk out. Beautifying me.

And also taking care of them in a way that merges things. And it's done among males and females. And of course, bonobos do groom

a lot more than any other ape. But common chimps groom and gorillas, they all groom. And this is the word, sorry.

I mean, I guess we can come up with another word. I like grooming. This is the word. We have a vote for grooming out in the round table.

And it's a little frightening to see that that is being demonized as an experience. And it's a word I was starting to say and you were saying, yes, it's a good word.

And it describes a few things, a certain affection and it's not sex, but it's nice. And it accomplishes a practical goal of getting your hair combed.

But it's just a nice connection, especially for humans, maybe more because it's so rare because they don't have all the pulling mites out that the bonobos have.

So they have to hire masseuses to rub them. And the masseuse is a stranger and they can't touch certain parts or they shouldn't and it's all part

of the living in the world. But it's just a denial of certain bonobo roots that we have, I think, and apparently some other knights of the round table agree.

The sharing of the food does have to do with the hierarchy and the females getting first dibs and yet they do share it. And it's a little bit of sex work,

except in a way it's turned around in that the females are paying for the sex because sex work, let's just say this, is so common in the animal world.

It is not a human perversion. It is the exception when it's the female that does the paying because usually it's the female that bears the burden. It goes both ways, you know, our society is in such flux,

is it not? I mean, here we are banning abortion, which really would put a crimp into this idea of females being able to be more bonobo.

If you have female empowerment without male well-being, then me too turns into me poo. And so that's, I think, what happened in many quarters of the left and in the right,

well, we have just this further and further push towards religion that is gonna be on the side of patriarchy. I mean, there aren't a lot of religion people that are into the goddess, maybe a few,

but it's mostly Jesus and Adonai and perhaps a little sprinkling of Allah. It's very patriarchal and it's very pro-violence, all the religions that have any power, yes?

I think also a term that I like is the whole anti-abortion or something is forced breeding. Yes, forced breeding is what it is. Forced breeding.

The women are not in. It's a minority in America is what it was said on the other side of the round table, exactly. It's the majority.

Yes, right now. The minority is the majority. That minority is the rich. They are also the ignorant,

but the ignorant are bought by the rich. They're not gonna come up with that on their own. They don't have the time because they're ignorant and they're usually not that wealthy,

but the wealthy have lots of time or if they don't have time, they have the money to pay people who have the time to be PR people, to make war look good.

And that's what's been done even more than back when we fell in love in 1991. I'm so confused about this current war. I guess I'm against the invasion, of course.

It's not even I guess. I see all the PR is showing that it was a brutal invasion just like George W. Bush's invasion of Iraq, which was as bad,

but this time it was sort of more Western people or something and also the devices we are perceiving it on are more developed. War is hell.

It creates another war. Okay, this gentleman here. Yeah, go ahead. We'll bring him back to Parliament.

Yeah. Okay, so this is leading me to our other subject. I think when they meet another tribe of vapes

talking about bonobos in the wild or captivity, various things have happened. And it's interesting to compare these different occurrences because it does have to do with war, peace,

sexuality, love, hate, all of that. So sometimes they all get killed or they all die. One time when all these bonobos were housed in a zoo

along with common chimps that was bombed by the allies. See, that's what I mean. We're the good guys, but we caused the deaths of all the bonobos

and not through actual bombing, but through hearing the bombing, they all had heart attacks. They're fear.

They're very sensitive creatures. They're not super creatures. These are not angels. These are animals like us.

And they've chosen this path of sensitivity that is involved in a path of peace. And sometimes it's hazardous. And they have been killed by common chimps

when they are mistakenly put by zoos into cages with them. But sometimes they kind of convert them. I mean, certainly Prince Chim, a male bonobo with a female common chimp.

And you might say they're both a little submissive. So it worked out quite well for them for a while. They were both pretty bonobo. I'm not sure if that's because she was female

or because he was bonobo, but they got along. Also, common chimps share their environment with gorillas. So they've got competition galore from each other and they're very competitive creatures.

There are competitive side, as Franz would say, Franz Zawal, you have an inner ape that is part common chimp and part bonobo. And that competitive side that got us into Yale,

well, we all have it. I have it too. Okay, well, if you're legacy, then maybe you're full bonobo. Whatever your pedigree, if you had to work

to get into school, then you have that competitive side. You know what that is. You didn't necessarily have to be physically competitive. Their main predator, I think, you know,

is humans. Humans, they're the poor that have nothing to eat. And they're shooting. Because the rest of the world doesn't show.

Bringing us back to conservation. This is the problem now. The bummer man. Although the degradation of the environment

is also a problem. The fact that the jungle is getting smaller and smaller. We hear a lot about the Amazon rainforest, but the Congolese rainforest is the second largest

rainforest in the world, the second long. And it is getting smaller. And people do live there and people are actively working to combat this degradation.

But it's still happening. And of course, there are a lot of refugees from other lands that don't know what bonobos are. And they're hungry and they just see a new form of meat.

They are the largest animal in the jungle now. And so they've kinda won the war of the jungle if you wanna speak that way. And they won without fighting each other.

That doesn't mean they're vegetarians, by the way. Bonobos do eat meat occasionally. And then they all have sex. And that's the weird part.

It's a total movie. After this orgy of eating, they have a regular orgy. Right, that's the bonobos. But mostly they eat fruit

and they do a lot of sharing. I mean, they're squabbling. There is some physical fighting. Like I said, they're animals, not angels, like us.

And they do fight sometimes. They're very much like other apes except they seem to not kill each other. And they have this culture of sharing,

of lots of sex, of female empowerment, of male well-being. And so you wonder, can other species do this? Well, there's a primatologist who studied baboons. And his name will come to me in a moment.

But he had always seen baboons as being extremely violent, male-dominant creatures and monkeys that can't learn anything and have to be this way, basically. But he's studying these baboons who are at this garbage dump.

So he calls them garbage dump troop. And they're in one of these African countries like Kenya where they dump a lot of food, a vacation spot or something. So there's a lot of meat.

And then another troop starts in against this troop and they start fighting with this troop and killing each other. And the males are killing each other.

And the females don't get to eat any of this delicious garbage. And they don't feed the younger males either. They only feed the alpha and sub-alpha males

this fabulous meat and cake. And one night, the meat is tainted. And all the alpha and sub-alpha males eat that meat. And they don't let any of the females

or the beta males or the younger males eat the meat. And so they all die within a few days because it gives them tuberculosis. And it's not contagious so the females don't get it.

And the females are left with the so-called beta males and they create a new society. And their new society is very bonobo-like where the females are older and so they're in charge.

And they did have alpha females who have an in-charge experience that the younger males, the beta males maybe don't have, but the males have their function

because they're bigger and stronger. And so they kind of start this new type of baboon community. And the miracle, excuse me,

but the miracle is not that they did this because you say, oh, well, the strong males, they died off, which is true. The miracle is that they maintained this

even during mating season when males from other tribes who were strong and used to the male hierarchical system would come in because they are a male migrating species. So the males would come in and say, hey, little lady,

I know how to run things and they'd say, nope. We're gonna run things the way we do. If you'd like to stay, you can stay and do things our way. As Max would say, a certain kind of etiquette

that they developed. And yes, this was one troop. Sapolsky, Dr. Sapolsky, Robert Sapolsky is the name of the primatologist.

It came to me when I had already given up. And he studied these, I was gonna say bonobos, but really baboons for 20, 25 years. And they've maintained their very bonobo-like community.

Which gives me personally hope that other apes can do that. Even monkeys can do that. Yes? They asked me about that, it seems to be so.

They said it was to the apes to clean it. If you want to do it like us, that's okay, you can stay. If you don't, you don't have to go.

How do they really get there? They withhold sex with Lizzy Strata style, my darling. You know, you withhold and you give. You always give something,

but you don't withhold everything all the time. But you withhold enough, you give a taste, and you say, look, if you're a good boy, if you do things the way we do things,

then you get it all. When the baboon females were left alone, not harassed so much, they realized that they really enjoyed things

other than PIV. They enjoyed grooming, which branches out to all kinds of things. If you're free thinking and you have the time,

war takes a lot of energy. War takes a lot of money. Now, if you're making money, you think, well, it's good business.

And it is, war is good business for the people making money. But for everybody else, it's way too dangerous. It's a sexual thing.

It's what I call amosexuality. And I get it, those phallic missiles, that feeling of ejaculation when you bomb something. It's hot, it's exciting.

Also, you get respect, which you don't when you're a sexologist. But when you're a warrior, you get respect for channeling your sex drive into killing.

It's amosexuality. And not only is it this perversion in my humble sexologist from Yale's opinion, but it's also a waste of money, of energy.

Bonobos just don't have time and neither did this baboon because you see male baboons and common chim males spend a lot of time working on beefing up

and showing off and dragging branches around and just bossing each other and competing. And it's very, very time consuming. So it's very dangerous.

You can get killed whether you're a top or a bottom to do these things that kill with your bare hands. And we can do it with a button push, but still it hurts us like PTSD

because we feel it because we are part Bonobo. So it's less of an expenditure of energy to be Bonobo and to not also hurt the earth because that is an expenditure of energy.

Whether you're pro-war or anti-war, I'm trying to be anti-war. Of course, I feel for the Ukrainians, but I'm anti-war.

And one of the reasons is because now is the time to put money into pushing back against climate change. And certainly war is the opposite of that. So moving right along.

Well, I just wanted to, because I'm a war baby. I was born in the middle of the Second World War when the Germans were after me and the Americans were after me.

Well, so boom, boom, boom, boom. So I became kind of a peacemaker at a very young age. But for the last 20 years, from the 78 now, all I've seen is war.

We have brought up a generation of kids that are not educated, that are poor. We have brought them up and taught them if we disagree, you kill them, you bomb them, you hurt them.

And that's what you see now in our society. That's what we've taught our children. And that is not the Bonobo way, needless to say, but I feel the need to say it

because there is no course here at Yale or any major university where you have a study of Bonobos as a culture in relation to peace and conflict resolution. You have all these conflict resolution courses nowadays.

I see them everywhere. I asked this of a primatology couple. Dr. Brian Hare and Vanessa Woods, authors of Survival of the Friendliest.

And they went, oh yeah, they should have a whole course in Bonobos or at least invite a few lecturers in to talk about why Bonobos make peace,

how Bonobos make peace if we can't ever figure out why. I guess the why would be because it's beneficial to all. But the how is the question, how do they do it?

And can we do it too? Can we see this sex perhaps since we're so puritanical and uptight, especially as Yale is, I took a course in puritanism,

but sex is a big part of it. And it's something to acknowledge, but it doesn't always have to be PIV. And it also doesn't even have to be physical.

And it also doesn't have to be what we call sex. It's something good. If you're living like a Bonobo, there's food and they do this with food,

they share and there's sex and they do this with sex and nesting. Now you're usually sleeping in your own little nest, though if you're having sex, you might share maybe.

They have a different culture. Is it dry now? It got wet because we believe that males are not the only one

that can hit their partner in the eye when they come. There's also female ejaculation. But anyway, this book got wet. I wish I could say it was from a female ejaculation,

but it was actually just from a glass of water. So anyway, this is the Bonobo Way, which is my manifesto. Either way, this is a finger flogger,

just in case you were wondering. Starting to get promotional. And this is Sex Week at Yale. So Sex Week at Yale,

I did talk about Bonobos every time I spoke to a class, although they often would say, don't put Bonobos in the title because nobody knows what that is.

They wanted me to be more practical about sex, which I get. So yeah, but I'd always talk about Bonobos. And so they took that away because they lied really.

I hate to put it like that. I sound like such a victim and I'm really the opposite. But in this case, yeah, I'm part of Sex Week at Yale and the president within said that Sex Week at Yale

was responsible for rapes on campus and all this stuff, which it wasn't at all and was never connected with that, with a bad attitude. And really what he was talking about was frat houses

and certain frat parties and fraternity people walking through the streets of New Haven at a time when, yes, Sex Week at Yale was popular, but we decried this parade.

We decried it totally. And they were yelling, if you may recall, that no means yes, yes means anal. So we weren't saying that at all.

We were maybe talking about anal and how to do it safely, but certainly never saying that, always very, very consent-conscious.

That is a very important aspect of education of any sort. And of course, education is often not about consent. It's all about enslavement and indoctrination. But you try to get your knowledge,

even though there's all these pitfalls. But really, sex education, when it's done right, is supposed to help you to avoid pitfalls like that and to be more bonobo.

I do believe in that and yet I see myself again, always again, swimming against the tide. So I'm always welcoming new and different points of view because my point of view is so unpopular right now.

I mean, first of all, sex positivity is extremely suspect. Second of all, there's a war on and it's a popular war. And I'm even kind of rooting for one side, so to speak, although I'm very anti-war.

But at the same time, it's a difficult time to be this. And yet I do believe it's important for each of us to be more bonobo. Some of the parts of being bonobo

like female empowerment, male well-being. Maybe we just need to be more conscious of that and we haven't been for various good and bad reasons and also more conscious of sharing.

We're talking about the socialism principle and the fact that America is the most wealthy country in the world in terms of wealthy people. That we have the most billionaires,

but we also, for a Western country, have the most poverty. And that, of course, leads to an unbonobo attitude. It's very unequal and that's extremely unbonobo.

You might say, well, that's not one of the five things, but yeah, it is because giving away food and sex, those are the only resources they have. The way we give away resources is very important

because it makes money for people with money. That's why. The question was, why is it so important to carry a gun? Well, it's reasons, but if I had to pick one,

I'd say because it makes money for people that have money, but also because, hey, these people that have money are not stupid and they know that phallic objects are big sales, those AR-15s that shoot.

One of my lines that I say soto voce at Yale is shoot the gun between your legs. I really feel that that's what's important and yet we're taught the opposite.

It's $5, right? No one ever talked about gun control in the 60s. If people don't have guns, certainly the people that have guns, we're hunters.

They would go out and we'd talk things out of here. Well, the people that have them now are hunters too. They just hunt people. I think I'm beyond done,

but I have people who need to talk and I am always here to talk. It's been a great round table and yet we are being told by the powers,

there are powers at Yale, so here's some powers. But anyway, these are my PG-rated covers and inside, not so PG-rated, okay? But these are kind of my artsy contributions to literature.

And this is my Venobo manifesto. But Max wants to add one other thing. Sex at the Sex Week at Yale. Yes.

Sex Week at Yale, I read about it. They were all like, ah, there's people funding this, that make gildos and they make crisps. Yeah, we had funding from sex toy manufacturers.

I always did. They were upset about the funding from Doc Johnson as well. That was a true accusation that I'm proud of that I had funding from Doc Johnson.

It is a good thing, it's part of sex education, but it is why Dr. Joyce and Linda Elders was fired, right? It was 2012 when they put the kibosh on it and they meaning mainly President Levin.

And so, yeah, they said some true things, such as we were sponsored by sex toy manufacturers. We did not do some things we were accused of, such as, like I said, anything to do

with anything non-consensual or any kind of behavior. And that's what, of course, we would police against if we policed in any way, it would be against that. We were inviting all kinds of opinions and sponsorships.

Of course, what sponsored the push against us was a Christian group that I forget the name of, of course, but they had some Yale name. They called themselves like a better Yale, better Yale.

And so it was hiding, they were sponsored by the Christian Coalition and they were sponsored by the moral majority. And so, yeah, you know, of course,

they put money and PR and pressure and they were a minority, I'm sure, a majority of people, we polled people all the time. They polled people, liked having sex, we get Yale.

Of course, nobody was made to go and in fact, you kind of had to give up something to go. And so, if you went, you really wanted to go. And it was low-key, but moral majority types of organizations,

very political organizations that first hid behind religion and then hid behind names that made them sound like they were just all about better Yale.

And at the same time, President Richard, I won't say what's short for Richard, okay, because I don't want to talk about Dildos, but Levin, Richard Levin, right?

So he was trying to set up Yale in Singapore. And I guess he set it up and he was very conscious of Sex Week at Yale because we would get some media

and it would be said, hey, they are doing this. And yeah, I mean, nobody accused us of anything that he said, but yet it would be mixed PR

from his point of view in terms of setting up a Yale in Singapore adventure. So, okay, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you all who have to leave now.

I understand that people have to leave and a lot of you weren't even on camera at all. None of you were except me, but we're continuing the discussion with the hangers on.

We also will not tell you who they are. So everything is sotto voce. Anyway, thank you. We'll talk later.

I'm sure. Thank you for joining us. Yes, I gave lectures. I gave talks, whatever.

Well, just that week? Just that week. No, I did not have a professorship at Yale where I lived in New Haven because I'm an LA gal.

So not that they offered it. I'm not trying to imply that, but I am trying to say I probably would not have taken it if they did offer it.

They'd have to offer me too many bananas. How did you begin to do what you did? I think I have a journalist incognito across from me, but no one knows, including me, whether that's the case.

But in any case, I'm a mob was. You're anonymous. No, I'm a mob was.

Oh, your mom was a journalist. So you learned how to ask people questions except now I forget what your question was. How did you begin to do what you did?

How did I begin to do what I do? That's why I forgot your question is because I hate that question, but I get it all the time.

Now, how I got to do what I do was when I was a little girl, the one thing that gave me great comfort and delight at night, especially when I was very scared

of so many things in our crazy world, and it was already getting crazy, even then I would play with myself. And I knew it was very powerful.

As far as my profession, which is sexology, your only sex partner that you have your whole life is yourself. And yeah, I'm very proud of the fact

that I have a monogamous, as far as PIV goes, marriage 30 years. But I do like a bonobo, many other things, although I have been hindered by the pandemic.

And I must say psychologically as well, I don't even want to shake people's hands, let alone hug anybody here. Normally I'm very huggy,

but I'm not hugging anybody I'm doing this. I've been happy that people don't want to be filmed with me because it gets me a chance to be at a distance because I have been a little ambivalent about all of this,

but all this re-uniting, and I'm doing a lot of re-uniting. I re-unioned with all my show because I wasn't doing shows with people.

I would have all kinds of people from professors, porn stars on my show come to visit me in studio and show me their sexuality in various ways,

or talk, or both. And I stopped all that. We're just doing Zoom shows or just radio shows. And I got various opportunities

so that I had these people in a reunion. I called it Bonoboville Reunion. And then I had another reunion with my colleagues at DomCon,

speaking of the finger flogger and flogging. And we just reunited and it was really great at this DomCon convention, which was fabulous. And I'm so happy I went.

And so happy I didn't catch COVID because unfortunately, so many of the femdoms and everybody, so many people, caught COVID.

We just don't know who. Thank you. But I'm sure we'll connect again. I was just interviewed by a mysterious,

Yeahley. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Well, that's the comment of the last and final night of the round table here at Yale. Amen and amen, women. We are done.

I don't think criminal libel is legal. It was a state law. It had it in many states. Here you go to the Supreme Court.

Fans of our bodies. Hey, Raleigh and Yale. Organized by Yale class of Brett Kavanaugh.

Show us what's under that rug. Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh.