SQUIRTACUS MAXIMUS XXXIII
Length: 120:25 minutes Date: 09/01/2012
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Spartacus, a hunky, spunky Thracian gladiator who led a group of slaves, serfs and vagabonds in a major uprising against the Roman Republic known as the Third Servile War (around 70 BCE), has long been a potent symbol of fighting oppression, not to mention the name of a popular Starz TV show.
“Spartacus” was also a landmark 1960 film that turned the historically factual tale of a slave whose military genius temporarily bested Rome into a romance, featuring Jean Simmons as the great love that inspires Kirk Douglas as Spartacus. Directed by Stanley Kubrick, the film was written by “Hollywood Ten” blacklisted screenwriter Dalton Trumbo (based on a novel by the also blacklisted Howard Fast). President-elect John F. Kennedy crossed picket lines to see the movie, helping to end blacklisting. The phrase “I am Spartacus!” became a cry of revolt that seemed to echo through the various “revolutions” of the 1960s and 70s, from the Civil Rights, Youth and Anti-War Movements to the Sexual Revolution.
Now, contributing a vital component to the modern legacy of Spartacus is Marcus London, writer, director, producer and star of Spartacus XXX, aka Spartacus MMXII: In the Beginning, which will be released in two weeks. The clips and trailers reveal an epic motion picture with explicit scenes, a beautifully filmed, acted and historically sensitive presentation of the Spartacus story, including hot sex between slaves, nobles and everybody else. After all, if you want to paint the full historical picture, why leave out the sex?
Why? Because that’s what most Hollywood movies and TV shows do in an effort to avoid the “XXX” or even an “NC-17” rating, creating a state of de facto censorship that’s just as bad as blacklisting.
Well, Marcus London didn’t leave out the sex. And based on what I’ve seen of the clips and trailers, I prefer his version of Spartacus to the others (sorry Stanley), but maybe that’s because I’d rather see those hunky gladiator bodies engaged in lovemaking than killing each other—at least occasionally. That’s what I like about this kind of film; it’s not all about sex, but it doesn’t leave out sex. It’s got an engaging plot about real historical events with great production values and believable acting, as well as a little well-filmed, relevant-to-the-story, seamlessly integrated, historically authentic, hardcore humping.
So I was very happy to welcome Marcus back on The Dr. Susan Block Show, and Tasia transformed BonoboVille into a Temple of Venus in his honor. Marcus’ first appearance on my show as the “Squirt Instructor” was a female ejaculation sensation, and since he’d said he wanted to demonstrate his new “squirt watch,” I knew there would be some amrita flowing.
But my expectations are far surpassed when five different hot ladies—sexperts, sexpots, female ejaculation veterans and virgins—all squirt in the course of the show—including me! Yes indeed Brothers and Sisters, thanks to Marcus’ gladiatorial touch, I squirt like the Trevi Fountain, and Squirt Salon 33 is a veritable Hurricane of Holy Water. Oh, and then my wild and sexy old friend Kat appears, with her handsome hubby BD, and she out-squirts us all in the after-party. Pix and video coming soon to DrSuzy.tv.
In retrospect, I think it would have been cool for the RadioSUZY1 audience if we’d each proclaimed, “I am Squirtacus!” as we squirted. But we were way too busy shrieking with delight with ourselves and Marcus Spartacus’ magic fingers.
But no, there’s no squirting in the movie, Spartacus XXX, at least not “in the beginning.” Marcus is such a stickler for historical veracity that he won’t show squirting because he says they didn’t do that then. I’m not so sure, since Aristotle wrote about “vaginal expulsions” that sound exactly like female ejaculation—over 100 years before Spartacus essentially pissed all over Rome. I think some women must have squirted, as we always have, though we probably didn’t make female ejaculation a goal.
Even squirt-free, Marcus’ cinematic labor of love really should win some awards, and hopefully the fact that it is financed by his beautiful co-star Miko Lee, and not one of the big studios, won’t prevent that.
But back to the fine art of female ejaculation. Like a few others who know “the secret” of the G-spot—Lasse and Axel Braun, as well as Deborah Sundahl—Marcus really knows how to make women squirt. Who knows if the historic Spartacus, in addition to epic freedom-fighting—also liberated the ladies’ ability to ejaculate, but Marcus Spartacus turns my Womb Room into a Circus Squirtacus, for sure. The proof is in this soaking wet show!
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